My mother has recently started dating a new man and wants me to accept him in my life, but I'm having a really difficult time in doing so.

My dad died when I was 9 (I am now F27) due to a chronic illness in combination with alcohol. It's a long and complicated story, but the disease caused his liver to fail. This, combined with the disease's psychological symptoms, lead to him drinking one or two glasses a day. Still, it was enough to kill him. This lasted for about 2 years (him starting to drink and his death), during which my parents divorced.

After their separation, my mother briefly dated another man while my dad was still alive. Since me and my brother were young, she would take us with her to this boyfriend. I don't have any weird memories from this, but I do remember feeling weird about being with this man while my dad was suffering. They broke up before my father's death.

After this, we spent years as just the three of us. It was about 8 to 10 years later when my mother met another man, later to be her second husband. I was a teenager back then, so I was really hesitant at first. I still missed my dad and I didn't want this man to replace him. As time passed, my stepfather told me he lost his mother when he was young and how, when his father remarried, his stepmother wanted to take over his mother's role in raising him. He told me he didn't want it to be this way between me and him, and how he would never replace my father; he just wanted to be there for me if I needed him.

They fought a lot and, in my experience, both were to blame for this. Eventually, after a two year marriage and 6 year relationship, they divorced 4 years ago. We moved to a new house and, unfortunately, we haven't had contact with him since. I do still miss him sometimes, because he helped me out several times and would listen to me when my mother didn't. It felt weird that he was suddenly gone.

My mother was continuously angry at him afterwards. She'd mention how he betrayed her, how mean he was, how he never cared about us, and I would just sit there and nod. Just like after my dad, I felt like she needed someone to help her through this loss, so I did. I never dared to tell her how I felt about this, as I could tell it caused her pain.

Nowadays, I still live with her, which has to do with the fact that I'm still a student and can't afford my own place. I'm graduating next summer, after which I'll look for a job and find my own place (I did live on my own for 3 years before, but I was in a lot of financial stress). My little brother moved out a few months ago, so it's just the two of us.

However, two months ago I came home and found my mum sitting on the couch with another man. I didn't know what to do, but I could immediately tell they liked each other. They indicated I could just join them in the living room, but after half an hour I went to bed, feeling very uncomfortable. I wanted to wait at first until he had left, so I could talk to her, but he didn't leave. Instead, he stayed the night and my mum didn't tell me. I told my mum the next day, saying I felt very uncomfortable and how I didn't like her lack of communication towards me on the matter. She said she's an adult woman and doesn't need her daughter's permission, especially since it's her house.

Now, I don't know what to do. She says I just need to accept her relationship with him and that I should meet him, but I don't want to. I've tried to get myself to change my mind, to remain openminded, but I continuously feel hurt. Every time I think of her with another man, I feel myself slipping away from my dad. I've told her how I do support her in finding happiness in life, and how I want her to be happy with him, but I don't want to be a part of it anymore (of their relationship, not my mother's life). I'm glad she can start a new relationship with a new man, but I can't find a new father and I don't want to. She keeps saying he won't be my stepfather, but I feel like she doesn't understand. I've lost my father and my stepfather, and his presence reminds me of their absence. She wants to invite him over and wants us to do things together, but I really don't want to. I've told her how I feel about this, how I still miss my stepfather and how I definitely miss my dad, but she keeps saying that my dad wanted to leave us, how he's been dead for 18 years, and how I can't expect her to be alone for the rest of her life. I keep telling her that's not what I mean, but she keeps insisting I accept everything. I've been looking for rentals, feeling like my only way out of this, without being a burden to my mother, is by moving out, but I can't afford it.

I can accept her being in a new relationship, but would it be an awful choice if I said I don't want a relationship with him?

I have a small family, Mum and Dad divorced when I was 6. I’m an only child. My Dad’s parents lived into their mid 90’s and were a big influence in my life. I’m 40 now, but with all the loss I just feel like a kid losing my parents. I was raised by my Mum but love all my family.

Dad died of cancer in 2021 at 64, grandmother in 2022, grandfather in 2023 then my mum received a cancer diagnosis at the end of last year. She’s about to go now, maybe a week. She’s 66.

It feels a bit like the important people in my life have been like the pieces in a game of chess. Slowly I lost pieces, that’s life… but now with mum it’s checkmate and I’m totally alone. I don’t know if the happiness in life is worth the pain.

Thanks for listening.

I’m F29 and my dad passed away in 2019 but today my mom passed away from a “complication” in a minimally invasive procedure. I handled my dad’s death fairly well since we weren’t super close. But my mom?!!!! She’s literally my bestfriend the only person who knows everything about me. The only person I talk to everyday. The only person who loves me unconditionally. I genuinely don’t know how to process this. My heart hurts but it’s like I feel nothing. Like this cannot be real. I want it to be a dream but I know it’s not. Please tell me it’ll be okay.

Hi everyone, so I recently came to the realization that I should probably start going to see a therapist. My mom passed when I was 4 from cystic fibrosis and my father passed when I was 20 and it was a complicated relationship. I’m 24 now and looking into therapy but just wondering of theres any qualifications or things I should look for to find a good therapist

So. I'm 24, and I went no contact with my father approximatively five years ago. He was a racist, homophobic...etc

I don't have any regrets on this, not one time did I regret cutting contact with him. I miss having a father sometimes, but I don't miss him.

Six months ago, I was having a tough time, and a friend of him called me. She never calls me, but this time she did, telling me that he was in a very, very bad shape: depression, unresponsive, not respecting his diet for his diabetes and really having trouble eating. This hit me really hard because he never had a lot of money (because of bad life choices) and he barely ate at that time.

So this friend calls me and tells me that her daughter found my father, unconscious on the ground on the street and they called her because he had her number in his wallet. She woke him up and he was completely disoriented. She proposed him to take something to eat, and he barely responded. She insisted and he said okay for a kind of cheese tart.

Anyway, she asks me if I want to be kept updated or not. I told her to keep me updated if he was hospitalised permanently or if he died.

Four months later she calls me, one morning. It was raining and I was meeting up with my mother, which is pretty rare because we don't live near each other. We were supposed to have lunch.

His friend tells me that I know why she's calling. For a moment, I only think about the hospitalisation, so I asks her, she breaths out and tells me that it's the other one.

She starts crying, telling me how bad it got, that he died suffering a lot and that she still hasn't told her husband because he's still at work (her husband is my father's best friend), and that she was so scared of his reaction.

I comfort her and we hang up. I spent the day following my bf and my mom (as it was their first time meeting, she insisted he comes with us at lunch because it was a bad time for me) I wasn't hungry anymore, I was cold, and I remember not really realizing. He's gone. I thought about this moment a lot, and here I am, not even knowing what to feel.

He hurt a lot of people and I still can't believe how everyone was crying. It angered me so much I didn't cry.

The funeral went through, it was weird. I was tired. and then I had my finals exams and I don't know where to look anymore, I don't know how to feel. Most of the time, i'm convinced i'm over it, and the next day, i'm crying because I see a yogurt he liked. Or having trouble looking at little girls and their father because i remember him. I don't how to seperate good things from bad stuff, even if it's what everyone tells me to do. I still think everything he did was unfair, mean, and that he doesn't deserve to be mourned, and that's fine by me, but I don't know how to feel my feelings anymore.

I don't know what to do; if anyone has tips, advice, anything? I'm lost.

I just needed to vent, sorry. I'm in a crappy living situation because it's my only option (if it wasn't, I would not be here), I'm isolated at home nearly 24/7, and I have no family. I also don't have friends in this place because it's kind impossible to make friends here as a disabled person, unlike it was in north America.

My mom was an artist and when she died her relatives stole everything, even my own belongings that were in the house. I didn't even get photos. Everything she owned had a story, and it was as if her soul (tho I don't rlly believe in those) was in them, it's not like her belongings were mass-produced things. And they stole it and sold it all, and trashed her Art. That hurts the most.

I have absolutely no-one, except my cats, and I'm just really, really hurting right now.

I don't even know where my bio father is, or if he's alive, he was the worst person. It was just me and my mom (no siblings), and even tho she had issues and wasn't the best mom (I'm the one who took care of her), the pain is almost unbearable right now, because Halloween was her favourite holiday.

My stepdad, who had been the main father figure in my life since I was 6/7 (my biological dad died when I was 8, which was devastating, so now I’ve lost my second dad) died last week after a whirlwind cancer and pneumonia diagnosis. Just days before he entered the hospital he was fine with his only symptom being back pain. Exactly a month later he was dead.

The past month has been a nightmare, and seeing him suddenly decline and die was horrific. I think I went into a sort of numb survival mode to get through it, put on a happy face to be strong and supportive for he and my family, and navigate the hospital/healthcare system, as I took care of the brunt of it.

Problem is that it has been 8 days since he died and I feel nothing. I loved him so much but while other of my families mourn I have been frozen. I have not cried. I do not feel sad. I do not even feel relief. The lights are on and no one is home. Is this shock, even though I knew he was actively dying? Nothing feels real, and it feels like nothing has changed. It is like my body and mind are still in that numb space, and I cannot break out of this box, although I am desperate to. I want to feel and process and grieve.

Any advice? I don’t know what to do. (Side note I am in therapy).

Thanks.

Bottom line is ppl we respect and appreciate are generally avoided if we are not in a good place kind of like social media. Nothing toxic nice things only. Doesn’t mean we never wanna see ppl we just don’t right now , then an event thats unexpected pops up and it becomes impossible to avoid ppl and sometimes obvious that if you don’t act now you will lose them for good. Or be broke and stuck with someone who doesn’t get you managing your finances.

I think like it’s still less damage done maintaining the out of sight out of mind approach like going to work with food poisoning , however when somebody is quite internet savvy you realise they have been around for your whole journey anyway and have witnessed the you you desperately didn’t want them to meet but were in the process of fixing by urself without their help.

I am 20 years old and my father commit suicide a month ago. He was a very mentally sick man who had been suffering for years with mental illness but it got the better of him in the end. Every single day I wake up past noon and have been going to sleep at ludicrous times in the middle of the night. I am in university and have taken the current semester off, so I haven't really much to do regardless. I live alone with my mom who is also suffering a lot, I try my best to be strong for her by disguising my emotions but in reality I am severely depressed. I have a great group of friends who have supported me and I have seen them plenty of times since his passing, but I am constantly putting on an act to make it seem like I am okay when I'm not, I feel like being with them makes me feel a lot better because I can act like nothing ever happened, however when that time together comes to an end I just become overcome with the same feelings of depression I had before I saw them. I don't know what to do with myself on a daily basis, I am writing this seeking advice or honestly anything at all amongst this community

it really bothers me that the two people who are supposed to love me unconditionally in my life are dead. i really try to find unconditional love in partners and others and it never works (obviously). it’s very upsetting to not be able to have that anymore.

My parents were good people, I had a great upbringing and they were always there for me. However, they were both extremely unhealthy: smoking, drinking, terrible diet. I really don’t think they realised how unhealthy they were. Both of them weighed well over 100kg and we weren’t a tall family. Neither of them made it to 55. I think it’s a generational thing. I suppose they were ‘boomers’ and in their mind 55 was still fairly young. Too young to worry about their health. My grandparents all lived to 80+, so I guess that factored into it.

I feel angry. Why didn’t they take care of themselves? It was during the first lockdown when I realised the extent of their poor health. I managed to convince them to come on a walk with me and our dog. They couldn’t walk more than 10 minutes without having to sit down. I thought this would be a wake up call but it wasn’t. I feel guilty. I should’ve encouraged them to exercise and eat clean. I tried a couple times but they just waved me away saying they’re fine. I was only 20, but I should’ve done more. Within 2 years they both died. I remember one time I got really annoyed and made a horrible comment telling them they’re going to die soon. I’ve never forgiven myself, and I don’t think I want to.

My 82 year old mother passed away last month. At first I was sad and a little shocked because it happened so fast. Now I’m just angry. She didn’t take care of her animals, one of her cats is diabetic. She never discussed him or his treatment or how he was and I didn’t think to ask. Come to discover she wasn’t following her vets orders at all. She wasn’t senile, she just was obstinate. She claimed she couldn’t pay for better food for him or his insulin but had plenty of money for cigarettes, which is what killed her. It’s one thing to not take care of yourself. It’s another to not take care of a pet. She knew I had a diabetic cat, never asked me how I got him off insulin, or what I fed him. When I tried to help her she pushed back. Well, he’s in good hands now. I switched his diet, changed his insulin, started glucose testing him because she refused to do so. She was just plain negligent and I don’t forgive her for it. I’m glad I can truly love and take care of him now.

New to this sub. So glad I find this.

To those here who have lost someone they loved dearly, what do you usually do on their death anniversaries? My dad’s anniversary is coming up, and I feel panicked just thinking about it.

I don’t want to relive that day when I lost him forever. I don’t want to go through that day and be reminded that a year has passed since he left. I feel like I can’t handle it, but traditionally, it’s something you do with family, right? I just don’t think I can do it, but I also don’t want to seem like I don’t care. I feel so torn.

How do you handle death anniversaries? It doesn’t even feel real that he’s gone, but the fact that this day is coming up is what’s causing all this anxiety for me.

and i need advice from people who understand.

I found her. and i cant get that image out of my head. she felt so cold.

I need my mom. I need her back. I want to send her funny instagram reels and I want to go out to eat with her. Or go to hobby lobby. Or go camping again. She just bought a camper and finally got the deck built and all set up. She hasnt even truly vacationed there bc it was all work decorating this summer.

They will do an autopsy. we dont know what happened.

I wish I never took a nap. she had to have passed in the 2 hours that i was sleeping. She was so sick constantly throwing up but she wouldnt go to the doc. she thought it was the flu.

I i want to wake up tomorrow and shes here. i cant do this. i am in shock theres no way this is real. but it is. i cant process this.

I love you so much mom. Everyone loves you so much 💜💜

I lost my Dad on 10-19 when I found him at home in the afternoon …Followed by my first birthday without him, which was the worst because it’s so fresh. Since Saturday, I have been feeling like a glacier is in my chest and it almost feels like I could “have a heart attack.” I’m constantly in panic mode. I went back to work for the first time today and I’m not okay. If I hear those stupid words, “It will get easier.” Or “How are you holding up?” One more time, I think I might lose my sh*t and that’s awful because I know people who find out don’t know what to say and don’t know how to provide comfort they see I’m desperate for…I was “settling” into adulthood, and now suddenly I’m a 27 year old grown *ss man kicking and screaming for his daddy like a little boy…I have been in therapy for other issues for half my life and am on Lexapro and Bupropion… I do NOT want any more drugs to be dependent on. I’m scared of what life will be like without him. I got stuck on a project I had started before his death, trying to get my mind off it, but as soon as I considered a second opinion, I remembered that I can’t ask his input because his voice will not give me an answer back when I call him or walk down to the Kitchen. I know he passed away. I know I have to carry on, and I know other people around me care, but who I was before all this seemed to die with him. There’s no “going back to normal” or “feeling better” Any form of comfort and resilience is…Gone. It’s only been 9 days… How am I going to put up with this feeling in my chest for the rest of my life? It is scaring me and I’m afraid it’s not going to go away. It’s getting harder everyday and the breakdowns don’t stop. I’m tired of waking up like this. I guess I just needed someone to listen because I have to be “the strong one” outside of here.

I have 1.5 hours between classes (college prof). I randomly teach in the same room for all my classes on Mondays, but I have 1.5 hours between my first and second session. I used to stay in the room, but I absolutely do not have the bandwidth in my free time to chat with this one student who comes 45 minutes early to talk about politics, the crisis overseas, etc.. The last thing I wanna talk about is this idiotic election. Like why is my dad dead and this guy is still running for election in great health.

There's nowhere to go in this stupid building except the handicapped bathroom which was just cleaned.

I miss my dad so much. Nine weeks ago tomorrow. And it's so infuriating when I think about stretching my arm back in time and wanting it to be before Aug. 27th.

I also hate this semester and its associations and I know these are going to be the worst associations of my life and very triggering for as long as I'm here. I teach in a new building that I've never taught in and this semester I had to stand in front of three class the first day with a blistering headache, knowing I would be going home to pull the plug later that afternoon. Every walk to this building reminds me of walking here the two days he didn't have brain activity, hoping for a miracle, and knowing it was the last f-en day in my life I would ever be able to say "I have a parent". Though he was not really there, I still was not an orphan.

I really, really hate life right now.

my mom died unexpectedly on dec 31, 2020. i’d just had a baby 8 weeks earlier and i was a mess. i don’t think ive actually really recovered at all from her loss… ive just gotten used to her being gone.

i’ve been through a lot since she died: we moved away from our hometown, my dad passed away, my daughter was diagnosed with autism, i had another daughter 13 weeks ago, and my beloved dog died just two weeks ago. now, my relationship is in a terrible place and i don’t know if we’re going to come back from this. my husband and i got into a disagreement on saturday evening and he said some pretty cruel things to me - he left yesterday and i don’t know where he went or if he’s coming back.

when she was still around, i always knew i could step away and spend time with her or even just vent to her about any issues we were going through, but now i have really realized how alone i am in this life. i wish i could pack up my kids and go spend a few days at her house; i wish i knew i had that safety net of my mom. even just having her guidance on what to do when a marriage dissolves would be nice. instead, i am by myself in our house with two children who don’t speak and all these reminders of my dog we just lost.

i wish my mom was here to help me. this isn’t fair.

I lost my mother yesterday. She had a four year long battle with stage 4 neuroendocrine tumours. I lost my father in 2021. I know she was in pain and is at ease now. The thing is she was not really old, just 3 months away from being 64. I have an elder sibling and a huge family. Married a great guy this year in Feb. I cannot deal with her not being around. It’s just a day and the thought of going on in life without her is killing me.

The 2nd anniversary of my mom’s death is tomorrow. It’s hitting me harder than the first one. Her birthday was two weeks ago. That brought more waves of sadness.

It’s pregnancy loss awareness month and I had a miscarriage earlier this year of a very wanted pregnancy. The election is stressing me the fuck out as I utilized medications to help my body miscarry, and women’s health access is at risk in my state.

My therapist is MIA for some reason and I’m overdue for an appointment.

I’m just so exhausted of grief, and dread, and more grief. That’s it, that’s the post. Just so, so tired.

tw: death, domestic violence, poor mental health

I'm honestly feeling so lonely - my mental health is completely destroyed and I'm really suffering

I lost my mum back in June this year and my father has always been estranged - I've really struggled to be able to grieve cause I'm a single parent to a neurodivergent daughter, work full time and try to coparent with her stepfather who assaulted me back in August. It seems like the world is constantly turning but I'm not moving - I feel like I'm just stuck in the same spot

I don't really know what to expect from this post, I just needed to message out loud - I haven't got anyone to really turn to, but I miss my mum so much 😔

For context: My father murdered my mother when I was 4. My brothers were 2 and 6. I remember very vividly the night we had to get away from the house as my family knew something was about to happen, and remember every detail when I was told my mom wouldn’t be around anymore. I had a very rough childhood moving from my grandmothers house, to my half sister (who had an abusive boyfriend), to my now adoptive parents (my aunt and uncle) every 2 weeks. My father fled the country after being let out on bond, but for all we knew, he was coming for us and we had to go into hiding for several months until he was found.

Id grown up with very traumatic nightmares that still affect me today at 24 years old. But id never had any dreams about my mom until I was pregnant with my first child. I was 19 at the time and I’ll never forget that dream. It felt so real. It was like I was in heaven with her and finally got that last hug I’d always prayed to have. But my baby was with us. I remember momma giving me the most comforting look, and telling me it would all be ok, and then handing my baby to her. Angels comforted me as she held my baby and then I woke up after saying goodbye…

My daughter is almost 5 years old but I remember feeling so scared that the dream meant something would happen to her and she’d end up in Heaven with my momma. Nothing has happened to her yet, obviously. But I’m starting to worry something could happen to one of the twin girls I’m expecting soon…as I dreamed of my momma again for the first time since I was 19, last night. I don’t remember a lot from last nights dream but it has had me thinking so much about the first one. I want all my girls to be healthy and thrive and I want to be able to watch them all grow up since my mother didn’t get that. I’m just terrified one of them will end up being up there with her instead of here with me.

I cry all the time about how she’ll never get to hold my kids and know them. I brought my first daughter to her grave when she was 18 months, on my mother’s birthday, and I plan on doing the same for the twins.

I'm only 26. I lost my mother one month ago. She was an incredible person. I lost her a month ago. She had so much of love to give.. she loved me and my dad so much . I really hate it when people tell me that i have to be strong, that i have to pick myself up, that i have to atleast try to get back to normal, even if it's bit by bit.

What if i want to be on my bed all day and cry? What if all I want to do is wail like a little kid and cut off from everyone? Does it make me even a little weak if Im crying everyday on losing my most favorite person in the world? I don't want to even think of getting back to my 'regular' routine. How can anything be regularized if Im not the same person anymore? A part of me died when my mom went. Why doesn't anybody, before giving their unrequired opinion understand that I don't want to do anything. I just want to cry. I don't know for how many days and till when. But I'm sad and I would like it if people let me be like that and stop pressurizing to pick my broken pieces up and do something productive. I CANNOT.

So I lost my mother 2 months ago due to stage 4 breast cancer this year and I also lost my father last year in November 2023.....I'm an only child to parents never in entire life I imagined that my mother would get cancer. When the day I found out my mother has cancer I couldn't stop crying I never wanted my mom to be this sick but at the same I never thought that she will die so soon....before my mother passed away I lost father due heart attack it was so sudden for me...losing both my parents is heartbreaking....I was thier only child....and I'm just 21 year old im still a student studying nursing....I live alone now at my home. This house used to be so lively I miss them every single day...sometime I just want them back in my life again but that's not possible...

And I hate it when people ask me how I'm doing but the truth is I'm not well at all like how can be well, I used to share everything with my mom and now she is no more....people tell me that they are there for me whenever I need them but the truth is nobody really picks up my calls or nobody really talks to me when I need them....I have my uncle and aunty who lives nearby but I don't trust them at all I don't trust anyone now...at this point I'm just tired I need some break I'm not doing well physically and mentally but nobody around me cares even my college don't care about me my college was not letting me to write my exams because I took 20 days leaves but in those 20 days I was taking care of my mother because nobody would come to help us or help my mom but after 20 days she passed away...in the end I don't think so anyone would ever understand my pain and the things I have gone through alot and I'm still going through....

Never mind their parents! These ppl in their low to mid-forties are out at their family cabin and as I was scrolling, shouldn’t have, I see a photo with their grandpa driving a boat!!!

Meanwhile, I have no parents. Had only one at age 10 and then the other died a few weeks back.

I’m successful by society’s measures, make good money, have great kids, etc., etc. By all means, “I’ve made it.” I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’d trade in a lot of the accouterments of life and even degrees to have had two parents much longer than I had them. Like none of this “success” matters when I see these things in FB, get so jealous, and even have Schadenfreude and want everyone else to experience this!!!!

I just don’t feel that the score is even. Some might say I’m Lucky or admirable in some respects, but it can’t replace my dad!

First of all, sorry for some grammar mistakes but English is my second language.

I was wondering if someone else is experiencing or has experienced what I am experiencing right now. My dad died 4 months ago due to lung cancer. I am currently going to therapy in order to face my grief in the most healthy way I can. Lately I am having some thoughts about my life, about the fact that it doesn't have... That much purpose. I feel like I have lived on autopilot for the most part. Yes, I have done some important things, lived abroad, studied, worked, etc... But now it's like I really want to find a bigger purpose, I want to understand what really matters to me, what are my real values, what can make my life richer. My dad's death is putting everything in another perspective to me and now I feel the need to find those things that are really essential. Has someone of you experienced this? And most importantly, have you found your purpose? Do you have a more meaningful life?

I can’t open them, even though I need to. I can’t bear to read everything that was wrong. It is going to be traumatizing. It’s only been nine weeks.

But I need to because the state of Nevada is already investigating a few doctors who couldn’t be bothered to call me with any update and I didn’t fly out there, never having heard from a doctor. They’ve been able to do all the investigations without me getting involved, but now I need to get more names if I want to make a case.

Ty for reading.

My (F24) God siblings (F23, M18) just lost their dad to an "alleged" murder-suicide. It has also recently just been the 8th anniversary of their mother's death from lupus.

My mom (their godmother) and I always try to be there for them as much as we can after the fact. We were prepared for their mom's death as her health was declining. We had time to brace for the worst outcome. And we did. For 8 years. Now, out of damn nowhere, we've got news that their dad apparently killed a girlfriend of his then himself in his own home. They have no parents to be in their lives anymore.

I'm so fucking mad and hurt at the card life has dealt them right now.

They've always lived with their grandparents and didn't have the greatest relationship with their father. But they were finally starting to come out of their grief for their mom. My God brother just made 18 this month. He was so quiet and kept to himself after his mom's death. They went paintball shooting for his bday and I was so happy seeing him grinning and laughing. Then this shit happens.

We're meeting up with them later today. But I have no idea what to do or say. I can't wrap my head around it all. We're just all in shock.

I thought about maybe taking them to a local festival they might be interested in but idk. How can I best support them at this time and later in the future. I love them with all my heart. I'm so upset. Thank you if you took the time to read this. I hope everyone has a great day today.

You know looking back i was leaving my hometown because i felt uncomfortable at home. I was giving my father a cold shoulder and not properly apologizing to him when i left. Plus my relationship with my mother is not that great from my side. Because she kept helicopter on me. And just last 2 weeks my father just pass away. It was just because he wanted to hurry home due to raining and then although it just single accident i felt like i have burning hatred towards rain in general and i start to see pluvophiles as sociopath unresponsible peoples.

Anyway, while i was angry i was regret and sad that i never said thank you and sorry to my father. Never showing respect to extent on how much he did to my family and his parents and siblings too. I wish i could say those words. I just keep searching him at night i was return back to my country. Also i keep looking the place to live where less rainfall so i can move my mother there and keeping her from danger of rain.

I (19F) just lost my mom in April of this year to terminal cancer. She’d been fighting since 2018 and it’s only ever gotten worse, until she was given 12-24 months back in February. She was supposed to have another year at least, but she didn’t and I feel robbed. I have six siblings, from ages 7-25, and my step dad who wasn’t supposed getting ready for a divorce already and I feel like nothing is right now that she’s gone. I want to go off to college and find myself but I feel like I can’t. Like I have to step in as the mom now and I just. Can’t. I’ve felt so displaced since she died. Like I can’t fit in right with anyone in my family or friends. I cope with humor and jokes, and people say I’m “brave” and “strong” but I don’t feel any of that. I feel like I’m constantly playing a character. Like the real “me” died with her. I can’t find anything I like about myself anymore and I can’t give my girlfriend the attention that she deserves because I’m so sad all the time. Don’t feel the need to respond. I just need to say this because if I say it to someone here at home they’re just gonna call me selfish.

My mom died early 2023, few days into January at 67, quite suddenly actually. I found her in bed and tried to do cpr while calling 911 for help. We were obviously too late and I don't begrudge myself for trying, many would have just panicked. It bothers me though, my mom had a Thyroid disorder and was showing signs of being confused days prior, but she had the flu, we figured it was that. Cyanosis they call it when you're lips go blue, it's when the blood lacks oxygen.

Mom had this issue pop up, usually around medication and best we can figure, related to her thyroid disorder, probably Hashimotos disease. I saw it happening but it had always passed you know? This time she just sort of slipped off in her sleep while everyone else was in bed and while hindsight is 20/20 I can't let go that I had a chance to do something and didn't.

It hurts every day and I have additional fears as I have sever issues stemming from a late Autism Diagnosis, I barely work, my "disability benefits" wouldn't even pay for rent and my father is 74 getting past bladder cancer(all good so far) but I'm terrified on top of guilty and I feel awful for worrying about myself... When dad passes there's nothing, no life insurance he has a heavy mortgage I could never pay back etc...

Guilt, fear, sorrow it's been my constant for the past 2 years and there's no sign of a way out... it sucks It's starting to wear on me hard...