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My Dad passed away last year and I’ve got some questions regarding procedures when dealing with funeral homes and cremation.

I wasn’t present when the funeral home came to pick up my dad, but my step mom mentioned in passing that one of the employees asked her if she wanted them to dispose of any of his medications. This seems odd to me. Is this a common service provided by funeral homes?

They also asked her if she “wanted to keep any of his personal effects”. She was terribly grief strikken, wasn’t thinking clearly, and said “no”. I can assure you had they said “wedding ring”, she would have said yes! It wasn’t until several weeks later she realized she couldn’t find his ring. She called the facility to inquire about his ring (ashes hadn’t been picked up yet) and the facility said they would look through his ashes to see if it was in there. It was. His ring was returned to her but this is where it gets sketchy. They were very apologetic about the situation, and told my step mom they really wanted to take it to the jeweler to see if it could be shined up a bit before returning it, as it had gotten pretty beat up in the high heat. Dads ring was 14k gold, with a bezel set diamond (about 1/3 carat, maybe a bit bigger) in the center of the band. As you probably know, bezel set diamonds don’t use prongs to keep them in, they use, um…magic? I don’t know exactly but there were definitely no prongs on dads ring. So my step mom agrees to the offer, and dad’s ring is returned with his ashes. It’s clear the ring went through “something”, as the gold is extremely dull. I can understand that part, but I think they must have picked out the diamond before running it through the oven because the returned ring’s “diamond” was what looked like a little white stone, (smaller than the original size diamond) complete with little soldered dot prongs holding it in place!

I’m feeling terribly cynical and hoping I’m wrong in thinking my step mom was taken advantage of. But how is it possible that dad’s diamond went through the oven, “shrunk”, was sifted out from the cremains (presumably, because of the need for prongs) and now looks like a piece of milky white glass? Please help me make sense of this! Thanks!

Hello,

I have been the sole operator / caretaker of a public crematorium and memorial parklands in a small region of Australia for 3.5 years now and have done over 800 cremations. In my short time I have found some people need understanding of the the process to help them find peace and closure with their loss, I am here to answer any questions people may have about the process.

Please feel free to contact me publicly or privately with your questions and I will do my best to answer them.

Kind regards, Bee

Made this account to specifically ask this question as I cannot find an answer anywhere online and I don’t feel comfortable calling a funeral home quite yet.

Can I request the funeral home dispose of my ashes after cremation since there’s no one to collect?

Ever have Christians wonder if they’re doing the right thing by cremating their loved ones? This guy does a very thoughtful job of easing one’s mind. Might be a great source to bookmark or save and send to anyone doubting this: https://youtu.be/voPg9jdgodo

The amount of ashes we received after my dad was cremated was very little, maybe half a pound at best. He probably weighed around 180 and he was 5'9". This is a little TMI but he shot himself in the head. His remains were brought to the funeral home after his body was investigated on sight.

My question is why were his ashes so little in weight/volume? Is this normal due to the way he has passed? Or is it possible we didn't receive all his ashes? Thoughts?

Does anyone know of anyone who can paint me a picture and use ashes in part of it? It can either be mixed in the paint or used in the coating on top.

When I was in 4th grade I went to the bathroom and when I finished I went to wash my hands. There was this girl who has always been a little weird and annoying. She came up to me to show me her necklace she had just gotten. It was a silver heart shaped necklace. When she came up to me she said “this is a very special necklace”. I asked her why. She said “because it has my dead grandmothers ashes in it”. I was very shocked I said oh I like it and I walked out of the bathroom. Again I was in fourth grade. I didn’t even know cremation was a thing. Has this ever happened to you?

Making choices for yourself or a loved one to proceed with organ donation can be really challenging. Beyond the cultural or religious importance of the body, it is difficult to understand what “brain death” or “cardiac death” means in the context of you or your loved one. However, many of the common misconceptions are just that.

“I can’t become an organ donor because I am too _________ (elderly, sick, etc.).”

You are only a potential donor after your death and it is at that time that your medical condition will be evaluated and the decision made about your donor abilities. Even people who are excluded from organ donation because of certain illnesses may still be eligible for tissue and cornea donations.

“Doctors will not make their best effort to save me if I am an organ donor.”

Ethical doctors are in the business of keeping patients alive. If brain or cardiac death is declared, it is typically after concerted efforts to save your life and additional tests and monitoring. The subject of organ donation is not broached until after death is declared.

Furthermore, most transplant teams are not going to be the same as your attending physicians. Specialized teams are often employed for transplant procedures.

“I won’t be able to have an open viewing or I will not be presentable to my family if I donate organs and/or tissues.”

There are methods employed by funeral directors and techniques you can use at home that will allow the person to be viewed after organ or tissue donation. In most places, surgeons assisting with the transplant process will close incisions and handle the body carefully to try to ensure that your body will be presentable for viewing.

It will be costly to donate organs.

In most scenarios organ donation does not cost the family anything. The family may be responsible for standard medical expenses, but the cost of the organ donation procedure should not be put onto the family.

Death is an unpleasant but unavoidable part of life. It's a sad fact of life that everyone will have to face at some point.

It's only a matter of time before someone takes the lead. If your loved ones, family, or friends go ahead, you'll be left with an agonizing ache and an inexplicable sense of emptiness.

While it is true that the individuals left behind are on the losing end of the deal, there is something weirdly wonderful about remembering the people near to your heart.

It really helped me understand the cycle of life and death. Read more

IF THE DECEASED WAS WEARING JEWELLERY, WOULD THAT BE RETURNED TO THE FAMILY OR MIXED IN WITH THE ASHES?

If you lost your mom recently and looking to keep her ashes safe in a beautifully crafted urn then you must go with the customized urns for mom to keep your mother’s ashes safe in her favourite color urn. Just connect with us now to discuss your requirement.

Adult Urn

TL;DR: how do I fake make an adult human ashes to soothe my dads emotional guilt?

My mum died 3 years ago, and at the time my dad was absent from the family. He was unable to come to the cremation and he has struggled with lots of things. I had to give him space. He couldn’t even deal with the fact she had gone. I struggled too, and asked the crematorium to scatter her ashes in their garden - I couldn’t deal with it. Anyway my dad is now back, he’s dealt with a lot of his issues, he’s clean, he’s having therapy, he’s being there for me and children and I couldn’t be happier! The only problem is, I told him her ashes are in storage because he was so upset about not being here. I told him we can scatter them together. So, although you might judge me on this, I need to fake some ashes for us to scatter. I know you might think I should just come clean but he won’t cope.

Sorry, I don’t know if this has been asked before but I couldn’t find it.

When do they pick up the body? How long after that is it actually cremated? Is the cremation machine (?) at the funeral home? Basement? Does it smell bad while they do it? Do they have to deep clean the machine after each person to make sure other peoples ashes aren’t getting mixed together?

My brother and grandfather were recently cremated and I’ve been wondering.

This is my very first post having joined the discussion forum a few days ago. I have signed up for my body to be donated to a medical facility at my passing. Following procedures, I will be cremated. For anybody deciding on a similar donation please make sure that you are covered by a normal cremation company in case medical school are unable to accept donation for various reasons.

My sister and her husband were both cremated in South Africa some years back and my ex-wife has informed me of her wish to ultimately be cremated.

for my mom's funeral, i wore a full on suit and tie, and my aim was to look smart and respectful. but what do you wear to spread the ashes? it's just hit me that i have to leave for the crematorium in 4 hours and i have no clue what you're supposed to wear.

I'm very sorry if this isn't the right place to post this. I looked online but not sure if this is something available. I recently put down my dog, his name is Houndoom, I had him cremated and I have an urn for him but I'd love to have a pokeball necklace I can keep some of his ashes in to wear, as for his name I named him after a pokemon. If anyone could help I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

I just lost my sister a few months ago and my aunt a few weeks back and both were cremated. I'm just really upset, because I know my sister was afraid of fire and lots of people in my family didn't want her cremated, and many people in my family are quite upset that my aunt was too, and it's just hard to find comfort because I know that either them or my living family wouldn't have wanted that. My sister was actually cremated by a family friend I used to be very close with and she loved my sister very much. I know she did want to just give my sister a good send off and honestly, they were that close that I think the death hit her the absolute hardest. I'm just wondering has anyone any advice or is there anything you do in a situation like this?

My mother unfortunately passed away from covid. Her wish was to be cremated and her ashes spread. We have set all the arrangements and there is a set day. Although it is her wish, I feel uneasy with the cremation process. I just want to be sure that I am receiving my mothers true ashes and not random mixes of people. They have not let us see her because she was covid+ post mortem/after autopsy and we did not have her embalmed. We were told in order for us to see her we would have to embalm her. My mother did not have life insurance or savings - paying for the bare minimum was difficult as it was. Is that common practice currently wit h covid+? I can see donning PPE like gown and gloves (not sure if a need for N95 masking since they are not breathing out) in order to see them briefly, but they didn’t offer that. I work in a hospital; I’ve worked with covid patients since the beginning - dead and alive; and I’m vaccinated. Mind you this funeral home had a 50M lawsuit a few years ago for trying to cover up an accidental cremation. They said i can witness the cremation, but not sure what that entails? It’s not so much me wanting to observe or see her bc she did not want us to see her like that, i just want to make sure it is my mother. Maybe I am over thinking this haha

Cardboard scatter tubes are biodegradable. Kept dry indoors they can be used as a permanent urn, but when placed in water or buried they will immediately begin to degrade.

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Eva

Emaikl:sales@heavenfuneralsupplies.com

Tel/Whatsapp:+86 133 95396260

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I have inherited cremains of approximately 20-30 animals from my deceased mother in law. These were all of her beloved dogs and a goat from the past 40 years. Probably enough ashes to fill 4 five gallon buckets. At the time of her death, she lived with my and my family, so now we have a large amount of animal remains that we have no emotional attachment to. What do I do with them? Can I throw them in the trash? Can I scatter them in a remote area?

I had to put my sweet dog to sleep last week and received his ashes from the vet yesterday. They're a gray (not really dark grey, but close) color. Most of what I've seen shows they should be lighter. Is this normal? He was about 65 lbs and had a lot of fatty tumors, and I'm wondering if this has something to do with the color. Any input would be helpful. It was a private cremation at a reputable place, so I'm not too concerned with that.

My mom passed and was a christian that was born again. She was cremated per her wishes. When i told my moms best friend ( also a very religious person) she was shocked that my mom was cremated and almost offended.

I feel like shit now because maybe its not what youre supossed to do if youre religious. Idk but the way she made me feel was horrible like i ruined my moms eternal well being.

Is cremation that bad? What have I done.

I see in the paper recently that my moms friend just passed away but of course no cremation. Full on church service.