https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kash_Patel

Like he had that official govt pic for his wiki which John made jokes about then I assume some Trump supporter or maybe Kash or one of his lackies was like let's change the photo to one of him smiling so he looks normal.

Help me, John Oliver! I did the math to get rid of Trump but I have no idea how to elevate it. I sent the following to both Biden and Harris from the White House contact page chopped into seven 2000-character-or-less servings but I imagine it loses some impact that way. If I am full of it, show me why. I can add more numbers or anything else factual that would make it more understandable, but when it was all number, number, number, how I calculated this and that, etc. it was even longer and much more boring that way.

November 30, 2024

Massive Fraud in 2024 Elections

To Whom Democracy May Concern,

I examined the twenty presidential elections leading up to 2024, from 1944-2020, to determine a minimum number of Total Actual Voters (TAV) to expect in 2024. The voting-aged population (VAP) increases each cycle, the number of registered voters (RV) has a positive correlation with VAP, but this correlation weakens when looking at TAV per election. This weakness indicates that algorithms predictive of TAV will need to be weighted to be precise.

TAV most often (80% of above cycles) increase in number from one election to the next (range +475,121 – +21,642,444). This makes sense when we know the VAP is increasing and then assume participation as a constant; however, in four (20% of above cycles) elections we see less TAV (range –1,068,136 – –8,210,548) than voted the previous cycle, counter to the concurrent increase in VAP. The average/mean change in number of TAV from cycle to cycle across the most recent set of twenty is +5,430,716.

What factors act to control variable rates of TAV count growth? Items known to decrease the number of TAV include difficult registration processes and obstacles to voting like voter ID or limiting absentee ballots (both state-sponsored impediments), elections with easily predicted outcomes, voter satisfaction (vs suffering), and dull candidates. Items known to increase the number of TAV include simple voter registration processes, easy access voting options, tight or unpredictable elections, voter suffering (vs satisfaction), and charismatic candidate(s). Each of these pales in comparison to the #1 best motivator of voting (and many other things)—fear.

In 1944 we find the first instance (within this set) of TAV decreasing (–1,789,628) compared to the previous presidential election. FDR was running against Dewey to win an unprecedented 4th term. Election outcome was predictable. Voter satisfaction with FDR was high as indicated by electing him four times over.

In 1988 George H.W. Bush, VP to a twice-seated Reagan, ran and won against Dukakis, the second instance of the TAV decreasing (–1,068,136) within this set of most recent elections. Both candidates lacked charisma. Election outcome was predictable. Voter satisfaction with Republicans was high as indicated by their sweep of every state but MN in the previous presidential election.

In 1996 we see the third, and largest, decrease (–8,210,548) in TAV in presidential election history when Bob Dole ran against incumbent, President Clinton. The election outcome was very predictable and Dole was perhaps the least charismatic politician to campaign for the presidency ever. Americans are an emotion-driven bunch and Dole drove 1996 all that way down with his monotone dullness.

In 2012 the TAV decreased (–2,266,898) in response to Romney running against incumbent, President Obama. A combination of voter satisfaction and disinterest among, for lack of a better descriptor, older not-so-racist whites made this a fear-free election for many. Obama voters were disillusioned by the bank buy-outs and turnout might have been much worse, but these same disillusioned Obama voters also rightly feared Romney’s proposed immigration policies. That fear limited the drop in 2012 to less than 2.5 million.

Now enter 2024. Being the anomaly under exam, I did not include 2024 as one of the set of twenty recent comparative election cycles.

The 2024 election was wrought with fear which only increased as time passed. Both major parties wound up running charismatic presidential candidates, voter dissatisfaction was high based on President Biden's polling before he dropped out, and, according to some polls, the outcome became mysteriously uncertain as Election Day approached. This, despite ex-President Trump’s continuously escalating abhorrent behavior while on the campaign trail—behavior seemingly designed to alienate, anger, and stop from voting—a wide array of potential voters with its enhanced focus on sexist, racist, classist memes. This, despite Trump leaving people stranded miles from transportation, being booed at his own rapidly dwindling rallies, and verbally instructing rally attendees not to vote for him. This, despite VP Kamala Harris voters packing the arenas at her events, to the point of fire marshals having to bar further entrance. Does something seem not right? It should.

The only TAV-decreasing factors known to have increased within this cycle were state-sponsored impediments to registration and voting. One might argue that low unemployment and a strong economy equate to voter satisfaction which, in turn, led to decreased turnout; but Biden's polling, followed by the spike upwards when Kamala entered, speaks otherwise. An election like this should produce a veritable flood of voters, such that when all results are tallied, the TAV count is drastically increased, -well above- the running average increase unless multiple recent elections are quite similar (extending out beyond the Trump=Fear phenomenon).

We had the fear of American fascism, of mass deportations, of dying a preventable death in a hospital parking lot and birthing rape/incest/unwanted babies, of theocracy and religified sexual enslavement, of autocracy, of economic failure and international humiliation, of kleptocracy and lawlessness, of irrelevancy and moving backwards toward debtors' prisons and The Dark Ages, of poverty-labeled-austerity enforced by species-pointless billionaires, of essential enslavement of America’s workforce and child labor, of oligarchies, and of the seemingly-upcoming circus kakistocracy AS A WHOLE running against the opposing side’s typical fears of powerful and/or uppity women, of people of color and foreign languages, of clean environments, of monetary oversight and taxes, of vaccinations, of any real positive change in America, and, of course, of prison. This much fear absolutely exists in American society right now and both campaigns spoke well to it, so I am forced to ask, “Where in the hell are all of our votes?”

The current reported 2024 TAV count of 154,651,936 (source=wiki 2024 United States presidential election updated on 11/29/24) underrepresents the mood of the country so much as to be laughable. This is 3,777,695 TAV -less- than in 2020. More importantly, this is 9,208,411 TAV -less- than should be expected in a very average run-of-the-mill non-emotion-driven election held in 2024. Basically, if we want to call –3,777,695 an honest number here then Trump cannot be involved—he induces too much fear across the board for a number this low. Kamala can stay in the race, but to make this number work she has to run against someone intolerably dull—she has to run against Bob Dole.

Even the unscrupulous actions of Elon Musk, many of which are or should be illegal, ultimately work to provide further proof that massive election fraud has taken place at some level. If his various for-vote payment schemes and million dollar lotteries had actually been getting -more- of the vote out, as he claims, this would define a whole new sub-category of items that are likely to increase the TAV count per election. This, on top of the other categories already known to have occurred in 2024, make the current election results, as reported, even more improbable, and well within the asymptote of hypothetical impossibility.

The people claiming 10 million or more votes are missing from the 2024 election are almost certainly correct and likely underestimating. The probability of this specific fear-driven election having the second lowest population percentile turnout in recent years, and possibly in American history, is next to zero. For this to take place, something hugely catastrophic, absurd, and vote-preventing must occur on and before Election Day, something along the lines of, “Super-Volcano Erupts Across Midwest,” or, “China Drops Nukes On NYC and Seattle.” Nothing of this magnitude took place, therefore, the current number of TAV for 2024 is much too low to be accurate and for this degree of inaccuracy to occur, the results are very likely manipulated and fraudulent.

As an American citizen I urge you and all Democrats to pursue a forensic investigation of the 2024 election immediately to prevent the fraudulent seating of Donald Trump as president again; to properly seat other Democrat candidates this cycle who had real wins adjusted and stolen from them via a severe and artificial drop of the TAV (the entirety of a missing voter's ballot will be missing if the voter is missing, shifting the outcome of downstream races in a comparable fashion); and to prevent complete destruction of any evidence of these crimes, this terrorism, against the whole of the American electorate, from occurring post haste should Republicans be allowed to claim stolen seats next year.

(I have solid numbers-supported reasons to theorize that multiple members of the Republican party have wrongly benefitted from whatever took place during this election (Putin? Elon?), but showing near-proof of this from race to race entails a much much longer letter. I wanted this one to arrive to you much sooner than that.)

There is no such thing as perfect security. You must be willing to accept that our election systems can be tampered with and -have been-, otherwise democracy is entirely lost. Someone only requires -one- more fraudulent wave of red laid across the country to stack enough legislative offices to change the Constitution. When someone pulls this same trick again come midterms enough assorted seats across the nation will be purposefully or inadvertently stolen by Republicans to make Donald Trump or J.D. Vance president for life. They'll probably award him a king's on-the-spot hanging rights while gifting each other crowns.

Right now it is -NOT- too late to repair this unprecedented travesty against the majority of American voters. It is in the criminal's very design that you would hesitate to set this straight—looking at the map of the fabricated dog whistle results, it might seem the country does not want you to. Ask yourself/selves basic questions of logic to remedy this:

Did a majority of women forget Republicans stripped us of our right to medical privacy?

Did a majority of Hispanics/Latinos forget how much he hates and wants to deport us?

Are the majority of white men absolute haters with zero foresight or dignity?

Did the majority of Muslims forget about his previous Muslim ban?

Do a majority of Americans approve of rape and being robbed by the bourgeoisie and multi-billionaires?

Do a majority of young people want to have less human rights than their parents?

Also, what are the odds of all these unlikely things occurring at the same time? Some under-educated folks are easily misled (and easily interviewed by a VGTRK-esque mass media), but the vast majority of us did not forget.

I am personally of the opinion Trump can barely read, much less run a business or the country again. No doubt, he had help pulling this specific numbers-based felony off. Sometimes he even acts like he has neurosyphilis, which actually makes good sense if you juxtapose his age and self-proclaimed sexual prowess across major spikes of syphilis in American history.

The number of TAV this cycle is insanely low when compared to the emotions of the nation as a whole responding to recent negative legislative and judicial events, the charismatic qualities of the candidates themselves, the polarity of their rhetoric, and the divisive nature of certain fascist campaigns. Election fraud is the only thing to believably explain this anomaly. While the drop itself doesn’t point a finger in either direction, I think we all know who is a multi-time felon and career criminal and who isn't. I think we all know who cheats at golf on his own courses.

You take an oath to protect democracy and The Constitution itself. You do not take an oath to save face, to make good optics, to protect any corrupted election's fake results, or to shelter anybody's criminal ass from, what should be, the dire consequences of terrorizing the electorate with blatantly false dog-whistle-styled election results. It is shameful to virtue-signal to the nation how capable you are of conducting a "peaceful" (read: fraudulent) transfer of power, handing liberty off to an intended fascist dictator.

We, the people of America, already know you, Democrats, can pull off the norm just fine. In this case, you are doing it too well—to the extreme of democracy’s impending demise. Take back what is rightfully yours and save America from what will surely be a bitter bloody ending.

Those who engage Nazis with participatory obedience will find history properly labeling them as collaborators and vicarious mass murderers of the innocent.

No second term,

Yttrium Gulp

PS Unless otherwise noted, I used election data sourced from—

https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/statistics/data/voter-turnout-in-presidential-elections

(An aside—I began working on this a few days after the election. At that time the above website had 158,481,688 under "Turnout" for the year 2020. The site now says, "This table last updated on 11/17/2024." The number for 2020 under "Turnout" has erroneously been changed to 153,431,405. A quick check of the FEC report for 2020 says the correct number is 158,429,631, so I am using that. It is a little curious why someone would choose to purposefully insert such a standard deviation-shifting error into this table, the first resource suggested by Google when searching United States voting statistics history. It is also interesting that the changes made to the more significant digits inside the number were made to look like simple errors of far-sightedness (the first two '8's switched to similar-looking '3's).)

i just subscribed with the hbo max black friday deal assuming i would get access to all the seasons, but i just logged in and i am only able to see season 11 & a few episodes of 10. i had been watching everything on youtube & kept waiting for a good deal so i could subscribe and get access to the whole catalog. but its not there? is there anywhere where you are able to stream all the seasons in one place? i’m just gonna start pirating smh.

Which episode has the joke where he goes "Hey Pig! Your mom fucks pigs! Boom! Roasted!"

Would love an episode on personality tests. I feel like the Myers-Briggs is just pseudoscience. And these days I see a lot more personality tests for jobs that are basically trick questions that use data to just eliminate resumes in order to get through them faster. The problem is they are simply comparing your answers to the employees they like, in order to get someone else like them. I just don't think it can be boiled down that simply. Might as well just throw out resumes at random.

And I'm not talking plain anger—I mean just seething, enraged, absolutely furious, on the verge of a screaming fit, feeling as though you could actually hurt or kill someone?

Part of what makes it so dark and heartwrenching is that John pulls back on making as many jokes, and there's no audience to laugh along with at the jokes he does make. It's just him in the void, with only depressing clips of ignorant people and incompetent leaders, and his own rage at the state of the world.

We currently have Hulu w/ Live TV and watch new episodes on HBO East on Sunday nights. We're considering dropping the Live TV portion and continue with a Max subscription. When do the new episodes upload on Max? I'm assuming either the same night, by time zone, or the next day. Could someone clarify my assumptions. Thx.

Title.

View Poll

Was watching an older episode. Saw John dive DEEP into a made up creature - Opposite Snakes - so I made a memecoin of it on pump.fun -- looking back this was so dumb, but random internet strangers have been buying a little bit so Opposite Snakes will live on forever in the memecoin world.

Anyone else get jumpscared by nikocado avocado during the tiktok montage?

I can't remember what episode it's from, but John showed a news clip of a journalist at a river talking about how plastic affects fish and he puts a plastic bag over his head and starts yelling "I CAN'T BREATHE." Does anyone remember what episode this was or where I can find that clip?

Edit: I found it! I'll post it here in case anyone else is looking for this gem: https://youtu.be/LIJMWDaWPWc?si=1yxNZPi0NYq1jpsn

Looking for the episode, which I think starts, with the clip from when Krish accidentally c***ed someone off because he didn't know he had a live mic. Thank you

I mean damn, with the way he talks about Biden you'd think that Biden was a terrible president but c'mon John he wasn't THAT bad.

I think Biden was actually a good president.

I believe a return to “traditional” families would actually look more like:

• Multi-generational households • Income from multiple people in the home • Aunties stepping in for support • Grandparents being cared for in the home • Gardens and shared meals made together • Hand-me-down clothes • Kids running around with cousins while everyone pitches in to help raise them

It would mean less isolation—like ONE woman being left alone ALL day, doing all the cleaning, the cooking, the child-rearing, and carrying the mental and emotional labor of it all. It’s too much, especially if she also has to work.

We desperately need more connection, where love, care, and responsibilities are shared by the whole family. A true “tradition” rooted in community.

Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of that. The nuclear family was pushed, and it replaced connection with this unattainable and unhealthy ideal. What made families strong in the first place was togetherness..

Does anyone have a gif or screen cap of John saying “Google it, I can’t do everything for you”?

Or would you remember the episode?

And yes I already Googled it.