Rules and regulations

This isn't a new idea for me, I think I realized this years ago and kind of forgot. I have suffered a lot of abuse in my life. My mother was verbally and emotionally abusive before I cut her off 4 years ago. I've also dealt quite a bit with toxic and manipulative friends. I've sort of learned to notice when it's beginning to happen and cut people off before it gets bad.

It's different with my brother though. Unlike everything else, it's always kinda been there and it's sort of my fault. My brother is 4 years younger than me. Ever since he was about 3 years old there has been physical and psychological violence in our relationship. It's just that for the first few years the physical side was a 2-way street.

When I was about 9 (he was 5) I realized that hitting him first because I was angry was wrong, so I started trying to break the habit. It was a hard habit to break, but by time I was 10 I had finally stopped completely. He did not. Luckily, he was younger and weaker than me for most of his life. Sadly, this made him turn to psychological abuse even more.

I can't say I'm innocent in this aspect either. I've called him "stupid" and "dumb" his entire life. It's a reflex at this point, it doesn't even mean anything in my mind. Unlike hitting him, using these words didn't begin feeling wrong until much later in life. I regret belittling him so much. I guess I kind of deserve what he's doing to me.

I have a lot of sensory issues, I think I have low expression autism. My brother has, over the years, learned all of the issues and exploits them. He knows every sound I hate, every actions, every word. It's a constant occurrence. If I'm in the room, he's almost always purposely annoying me. For example, he knows I hate the sound of lips smacking together when eating, so he'll do it on purpose when not eating. If I ask him stop, he does it louder. If I yell at him he gets offended that I yelled at him and says I should have just asked nicely, of course, I did. Writing this, it sounds like typical sibling behavior. I promise it's so much worse in real life. Because they are sensory issues, I can't just ignore him like people tell me to. He never stops. I have cried and yelled and begged him to stop, he never stops.

I've lived at my college dorm for the past 3 months and it has been like moving into heaven. I am dreading going home for a month for winter break. Luckily, I'll be able to live with my grandparents for most of it because of a recently discovered mold allergy. My house is very old and filled with it.

I've seen my brother twice since moving out. I thought that everything would change once I did, but no. He is still the same terrible person.

I just realized I haven't talked about the ongoing physical abuse I have endured. When I was 10, I decided that I'd never hit first or second, but third was fair game. At least, that worked when he was smaller than me. I inherited my mothers small stature and am just over 5 feet tall. He inherited my dads height and is nearly half a foot taller than me now. He's also gotten wider from poor eating and exercise habits. Suffice to say, he's been nearly double my size for almost 2 years now.

When we were younger, he'd often kick me in the stomach, hit me on the face, punch. I'd always fight back and he'd immediately stop because he knew I was stronger than him. Now I'm not. Before I never really had to hurt him to make him stop, I just had to say I would and that would work. Now he knows they're empty threats.

2 years ago, when our sizes were slightly more even, he tried to hurt the dog. I yelled at him and stood between him and the dog. My brother was blinded by anger. He hit me and I ran. He chased me. He ended up grabbing my hair and slamming his fist down on my neck/shoulder over and over and over again. The only thing I could do to get him to stop was dig my nails into the nearest exposed skin, his neck. He says I was trying to suffocate him, but I dug my nails into the side of his neck, I was nowhere near his wind pipe. In the end he was left with 8 small bruises and I was left with a baseball sized bruise.

In another incident a few months ago, once again he was being mean to the dog and blinded by rage. This time, remembering last time, I just decided to take the dog outside before it escalated. It was pretty cold out, but I went out without a jacket because it was just supposed to be a few minutes. My brother locked me out. For the first 20 minutes I just left it. Eventually I got too cold to stay outside any longer so I started knocking on the door. Knocking turned to banging and eventually I was yelling through the door. He just turned the tv up louder. After 10 minutes trying to work with him, I eventually had to call my sleeping father to get him to come let me in. My brother fully intended to just leave us out there.

There are many many more incidents like these, but I'm getting tired and need some sleep. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask them. I know I'm also a terrible person, but I'm just hoping he grows up soon because I can't live with it anymore.

I uhm, I watched Maid today. And I uh.. I never thought of my situation as domestic violence I guess.. all the red flags that I just ignored I figured it’s my fault, I let him in and I let him be like this. He’s never hit me. But I guess uh lovebombing and name calling and uh “self threats” in the beginning, coupled with a total lack of regard for my feelings and general wants and desires in the beginning should’ve been the first indicator. We’ve been through our fair share of crap from both sides I guess, not in the same way though. We moved in together like 9 months ago. Since then it’s just gotten.. worse and worse and worse. More insults. Finding out about so much that I didn’t know he was doing while we were living apart. I guess I just have a really hard time calling it DV. Because he screams and calls me names and tells me I’m worthless and all these things, but he never puts a hand on me. Because he knows I’ll go to the police and he’s scared. I don’t believe he’s the worst person in the world. But for some reason, I think he hates me. Or at the very least can’t love me like he wants to and resents that. I don’t know. I’m just extremely hurt and confused.

I'm just looking for some advice. I have a restraining order in place against my ex partner. If the restraining order only states no contact or no direct contact. Does this mean he is allowed to be in the same place as me (he knew I would be there) but as long as he doesn't communicate with me he hasn't breached the order? Thankyou

What counts as domestic violence? My husband pushed me tonight after a heated argument. I’m scared and unsure what to do.

I come from a family of violence. There was violence in my parents’ family and between my parents. I have experienced gender-based violence for most of my life. From the time I was born til when I was around 29 years old.

I was very traumatised which affected my ability to work and do basically anything. But I kept trying. Again and again. Every time I had a set back or a new perpetrator, my life would go backwards. But I had a dream to be successful.

When I was 29 (almost 30) I gave birth to my first-born. A daughter. I had been studying social work and finished my degree when my daughter was around 1 years old.

My husband is not perfect. But he is also pretty great.

I got a job as a domestic violence advocate when I finished my degree and now I am supporting women to escape domestic violence. I love the work and it’s like getting paid for something I love doing.

It is so healing to see my daughter growing up, so happy, and not having to experience violence like I did. She is surrounded by love and care and thriving.

I’m proud to be a domestic violence advocate for her more than anyone. I know I can’t guarantee my daughter will never experience violence. But I hope she doesn’t. And if she does, I will be able to support her.

I don’t speak for all women, but one thing I believe for me in particular, the thing that affected me more than anything when I have experienced violence, was having my freedom taken away. And in my work, I get to see women getting their freedom back. I believe everyone should have a choice whether they want to be in a relationship. But not everyone has that choice. But I will fight for one day every person to have freedom.

My partner has a daughter from a past relationship. We like each other quite a lot. I do a lot of things for her while my partner is working. I sometimes feel under appreciated and think he can be nicer and kinder to me while asking for doing things for his daughter. In the last week almost every night, she wanted me to sleep with her instead of her father. Her bed is quite uncomfortable and I dont enjoy this much tbf. It takes such a long time for her to sleep bcz she wants one story after the other and she wants food in bed and lots of chatting. I look after our son the whole day and study in the mean time for difficult exams and do household chores. So i feel drained at the end of the day and want a good nights sleep. Last night she wanted me to sleep again with her and told her father this a couple of times apparently which I didnt hear. my partner came to the living room, I was almost falling asleep out of exhaustion. My partner asked can you sleep with her, i would have preffered him to say please or could you or thanks for doing this whatever. I stood up to go to her room to sleep with her but she was wide awake jumping on the bed and my partner left to sleep on our bed and rest which annoyed me bcz I had cleaned the home and put our son to bed, picked both of them from school etc, but OK he worked the whole day. Then I went to our bedroom to ask what I should do bcz she is wide awake. He said she will sleep soon just read her a story. I said why cant you ask it a little nicer and then he said what is the big deal it will take 20 min and then i said its not my responsibility then he stormed out of the room and pushed me out of his way and said to the daughter that I dont wanna be with her. He took her to her room trying to convince her for sleep then I felt bad for the daughter bcz it is very harmful to hear that an adult doesnt wanna be with her which is incorrect anyway. I went back to her room saying to my partner you shouldnt say such things in front of a child and I am happy to put her to sleep then he stood up and said lets discuss another time and please get out now and dont make problems and scenes now and when I said no i can put her to bed bcz I dont want her to think wrong things then he pushed me forcefully out of the room and then i said you cant push me like this then he said get the fuck out of the room. I left the room and he came 30 min later apologising for being impolite. I said never push me again he said i didnt push you supposedly i pushed you who says that what are you even talking about you are not normal etc. I cried very much and he said oh yeah ok hyperventilate now poor you then i went to the living room and booked a hotel and left home. He is a good father and he is trying to be good for everyone and i cant say he is not helpful or ignorant but he gets aggressive really easily. He has not been physical with me before only once when I pulled his tshirt really forcefully and pulled him somewhere to make him listen to me then he squeezed my face and said he doesnt accept getting physical. I dont know what I should d.

My brothers girlfriend keeps putting hands on me.

Domestic violence is a real thing. Don’t be afraid to speak out.

I am a 23 year old female living in Pennsylvania living with my partner. We are renting a house and our lease ends in October 2025. It is only my name on the lease as he has bad rental history and credit.

My boyfriend has been escalating in his physical abuse, ranging from strangulation to now punching in head, arm, legs, back, and ribs. I know I am in danger of serious harm. He has even made threats to kill me. I know it isn't right, and I am ready to leave.

I know it won't be easy, and I do not want the police involved, even though I feel like that is inevitable, I do not want the police involved because:

1. I do not want to press any criminal charges
2. He is on probation, and I do not want him to get locked him (most likely if I get a protection order).
3. He said if I call the police he will kill me

I have already told my family and friends my decision on leaving (not the abuse of course, otherwise I know my mother would literally kill him). They offered to help me with his half of the rent, moving expenses, etc to come home. However, a part of me feels this is too much to ask as it'll be a lot of money.

Are there any alternatives to a protection order? Right now, I don't have a plan. I just want him out, but I'm afraid he will break another window, or follow through with his threats if I change the locks.

Here's some more context:

- I work about 40 minutes from my house with a hybrid schedule, Mostly remote. However, I just started about 2 months ago so I do not want to abuse that privilege too much too soon.

- I live about 4 hours away from my "home." So if I go "home," I'm not sure how this job will work out, and I really really like and want to keep this job.

- We just moved into this house in October. The landlord said before we signed the lease that if we break it and move out, we must pay 85% of the total rent for the remaining months (roughly $9,350). Even though I know my landlord is very reasonable and an understanding guy, I don't know if I'm able to tell him what is going on within his home. Yes, it'll get me out of the lease relatively easily, it feels too much, I can't explain it. On the other hand, my boyfriend has already broke a window that has yet to be repaired.

I am scared to get a protection order because I am afraid it'll make him worse. As of right now, I don't know what to do first, or how to go about anything. Any advice is greatly appreciated. TYIA

Anyone else feel really unsure and question if what their experiencing is ok?

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if I’m deserving of some events that occurred.. and how my current partner acts towards me. Maybe I should just go with my gut and give it a rest finally.

There have been many incidents where I have questioned things: hitting the steering wheel while driving, raising his voice when it really isn’t necessarily imo, calling me names during an argument, kicking my car, etc. I don’t really have it in me to list everything out right now.

I’m so tired of not knowing what to do, I know some things are not justifiable. That’s for sure.

I was punched in my face by my brother after I said a “provoking word” to him. I immediately turned around and called the police. He was arrested.

He was released and ordered not to come home for 72 hours. The arraignment is tomorrow at 9am. I filed an extension on the protective order.

This incident happened at my dad’s house where he lives. For a little more background, he refuses to work, doesn’t help my father (84yo) around the house willing. And is convinced he does so much for my dad when he lays in his room all day in trash playing video games. My dad is stuck in the middle of this whole thing as he wants to support both his kids. I understand that POV, I’m not a parent but have friends who are.

My question is…given this is the first time offence for my brother, what will likely happen in court? Also, when I filed the extension for the protective order, I made it clear that I need to be able to see my father in case he needs help for medical care or any other reason.

He told my father he plans to plead not guilty and has no remorse for what he did, and will be representing himself. Also told my father he is not willing to get help and rather go to jail. He has big time mental issues and refuses any help or help to get tested. He clearly believes he can outsmart the court. Mom is no longer in the picture as she died a few years ago and she was his enabler.

I clearly want my brother to get help he needs but I also need to have some idea what will happen because I have to take care of my father and his feelings.

This Monday my ex abuser plead guilty and took the plea offer. Though the plea offer is slightly lenient (he will still be going to prison for a while.) the thought of going to trial was so overwhelming. So I’m just thankful it’s almost over! My heart skipped a beat when the judge asked “for count one aggravated assault domestic violence how do you plead?” He said “guilty.” And the same for count two aggravated assault domestic violence. The judge asked “do you admit to being in (blank) county on August 31st 2024 and you put something around (my name)’s neck twice? He said “yes.” The tears were rushing down my face as I clutched my friend’s hands. I couldn’t have felt more thankful and proud of myself for sticking through every single god damn hearing, waiting for him to finally admit to what he had done. All left now is sentencing, which is next month. I will be reading my victim statement, and letting my voice be heard. I will see him for the last time, and I will never have to worry about him hurting me ever again. This justice system is absolutely terrible to victims, but I was able to finally hear my abuser admit to the pain that I’ve been dealing with for the past 4 months. So let this be a reminder to any person going through the court system. STICK THROUGH IT! Show up to every hearing that you can. Let your voice be heard and your presence be known. These abusers will try to play the system, but remember you are a force to not be reckoned with!

Act “not traumatized enough” They say that I act happy and just look disgusted when I see them or when I tell them sometimes I can’t think straight and never remember what happened they just say oh it probably wasn’t even that bad. I wish I could remember the things he did right now just to feel somewhat valid I can’t think at all my head feels blank and numb

Right now Im dissociated and I can’t remember a lot of the details of what he did. I can remember some but the rest of the stuff I’ve been through is like a foggy idea that i kinda know what happened but I don’t know the details. I feel like my head is empty and I can’t remember, I wanna remember just so I feel valid, I’m scared if I ever forget the stuff that happened it would immediately make me a liar and horrible. I can’t think correctly

I’ve been with my partner since 2012. There’s been violence in the past and he’s always blamed that on my drinking (I was 20 when we got together and he’s older, I think I just wanted to go out) There’s not been violence between us for years, but we have a 10 month old daughter (ttc 11 years) and she’s got separation anxiety, he’s not great with her, he will shout at her etc. I walked up to him to get her because she was balling, and my partner jumped forward at me in a threatening way, usually I would have backed off but because he had my crying daughter in his arms I said go on then, I thought I was calling his bluff but he got up with her in his arms and head butted me. I walked away and he followed and it lead to a full on altercation and my little girl was screaming through this after he put her in her high chair. I don’t know how to feel, he’s said sorry reluctantly in my eyes and said the passions still there because of this but I don’t know what true feelings I should have about this? I’ve told him if it ever happens again in front of our daughter that’s it. I don’t want a broken family. Ps to add/edit, this is the same man that told me years ago how he could kill me and get away with it, and how he would do it. I feel like I know in my head everything is wrong but I can’t get out, other times he will say how real we are compared to others and how sorry he feels that other kids won’t have parents like us that are together. I can’t leave him because I can’t trust his temper with my daughter and I can’t take them away from each other. I’m so sad

My spouse does not agree that what they’ve done would be considered domestic violence/abuse. Here are my examples. •Throwing bags of snacks on me that they bought for a goodie bag before my deployment when I went to sleep on the couch after an arguments.

•Throwing a 40oz metal hydro flask at me, hitting me in the shoulder •kicking a hole in the door I was hiding behind after body slamming it. (There wasn’t a lock so I had to use my body to hold it closed.) •Punching the center console of our vehicle repeatedly. •Threatening to throw things at me, causing me to leave the house. •Throwing a plate. (It slid across the floor in my direction after hitting the cupboard.) •Throwing a full, unwrapped pack of gum at me while my back was turned.

Any opinions on this?

I’m wondering if anyone has any advice or resources I could read. I was in a five year long abusive relationship that I left a few years ago. I’ve dated casually since but I’ve now met someone who feels right. But I’m finding all the trauma coming up, every time he reacts to situations in a healthy way, I’m shocked as I’ve realised I expected him to act the way my ex did. It’s dredging up all the trauma and I’m finding myself tearful and upset a lot because I’m just now realising how bad the past was, now that I’m experiencing how a nice person behaves. For example, I broke a piece of furniture when doing DIY and instantly started crying and shaking as I was bracing myself for the abuse that would come as a result, when instead he asked if I was okay and what help I needed. Does anyone have any advice on how to work through this sort of realisation of how traumatised I actually am?

Can I just put a note and say possibly every content warning will come up in this before people read too far!

I'm lost. I'm 29 I have a toddler. The father and i aren't together and it was and still is messy.

Backstory: we met at 21. Together almost 8 years, and it was hell. He was abusive, he assaulted me physically, and sexually. Always putting me down, being emotionally abusive.. He would yell or berate me in front of everyone and anyone. Never cared who was around. Countless and I literally mean countless times being cheated on. Be it over messages/snap or actually physical.

This is 8 years of HELL. I escaped August last year, he followed me. Convinced me that he would change. I let him stay with me and we were "together" but not for another 8 months after. He didn't change.... He was worse. He kept his house, this meant he would stay there and sleep with other people.

Since we've split I'm stuck. I don't know what is normal and what's not. My whole world has been flipped. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm lost. I don't have my person.... I've started the process with the police reporting his abuse. But I am scared. He always used to tell me that if he "ever got done for MAF (male assault female) or anything at all, he would make sure he came back and finished the job properly"

I spend most days all day in tears. My daughter is 3 and doesn't understand why santa can't bring her her Mom and Dad together for christmas and it hurts my heart.

I'm at a point of I don't know how much more of this I can actually cope with it all... Some days it genuinely feels so so much easier to give up and let him have my daughter and sleep forever.... 😭

I am finally free from the trauma bond stage, I waited and prayed hard for him to come back because my life was in a tailspin and I had gotten so used to the abuse and violence it was like I didn't know what to do without it and thankfully he's not coming back. He kinda left me in a mess I lost my apartment I went in and out of hospitals and rehab because I was mentally distubed behind what he did. Life slowed down and shut down and seems stagnant. So what happens now?

Let me be clear. I seriously cannot stand living here anymore and I’m exhausted from my toxic family. I resent them a lot and have no intention of keeping in touch with them once I’m out. I’m making plans to get out and I can’t wait to leave, yet for some reason I feel like such an asshole for doing this? One of my friends told me that if I keep going with my current lifestyle (referring to sticking to my parents’ rules), I’ll never be happy, and he’s absolutely right. I guess I’m scared because they could spam me with emails or messages demanding to know my whereabouts, but I’ll inform local police beforehand that I’m not missing and don’t wish to be contacted by my family.

I know many of you have had to leave this way, so I want some advice on how you dealt with this rollercoaster of emotions. Right now I’m feeling relieved that I’m moving towards freedom by getting away from them, yet I’m so scared of the unknown and the fact they may look for me.

I also feel my palms get sweaty whenever I made better plans on how I’m going to get out. It’s maybe because I know I’m “rebelling” against my family. I’m literally in my 20s and can legally just head out as I wish but I need to be careful and not make it obvious I’m leaving.

My husbands alarm didn’t go off this morning, (he’s been sleeping on the couch, because the toddler is in our bed and has been moving around a lot at night) so I woke him up sweetly, made coffee, thought everything was good and then he came and slammed his fists on the kitchen table yelling ‘I want my fucking bed back & I want my pussy’ (sex hasn’t been happening a lot since our toddler was born (he just turned one) I’m exhausted I feel bad that I cause him so much frustration but I hate being nervous around him because of his anger

I’m not sure what to do, I’ve always worked. I’m 33, my ex and I had been together since I was 15. I’m now 30k in debt, he knew I was trying to get out so he racked up as much debt as he could. I’m barely making rent and groceries. My credit score went from 750 to 465 because I can’t even make minimum payments. Soon to be ex husband was arrested in July, for beating the creep out of me and my 14 year old called the police…he keeps getting bonded out. I get no assistance, no child support from him. I get $27 in food assistance. I’ve been trying to find another job but no one seems to be hiring. My parents were drug addicts, so I grew up in and out of the system. So no family support, I’ve dried out my savings at this point. Suggestions? I never thought I’d make it out alive of that marriage, so I guess I never planned to be in this position. Sorry for the rambles. Just need suggestions.

Hi, not completely about dv but felt like the only place I could post. My husband is emotionally, financially abusive, and has been physically abusive in the past. I’m in a situation I can’t leave but things are better because I just seem to cope better and don’t bring up anything that I’m upset about, I just keep it to me. Not what I advise but it does seem to make life easier especially being a mum of three.

Anyway, what’s hit me is that I have a good friend, let’s call him Brian. Brian has been an amazing friend for about 5 years. We used to message daily until he got with his new girlfriend then after about 6 months with her, things went downhill. They split (ish) a couple of months ago. Not fair to go into details about his relationship but he’s gone from very, slightly twat like confident ‘no one tells me what to do, and I tell you how it is’ to a ‘she’s clicked her fingers im there and she says I’m like this so that must mean I’m like it and I’m the whole problem why we split’ hes been chatting to me and I’ve been supporting him best I can. But my husband HATES him for no reason other than he’s a male friend of mine. I told my husband when I was barely speaking to Brian that I’m not speaking to him hardly any more so guess he presumes I don’t talk much.

Yesterday morning I sent Brian a WhatsApp message, just a link of a funny video and it only showed one tick. He is busy with work this time of year so I thought maybe he’ll pick it up later in the day. He’s quite a phone addict and I’ve spoken in our group chat of friends and they haven’t heard from either. It’s very unlike him to go a couple of hours without responding (even if he’s in a bad mood he’ll just message to leave him alone a bit) but never to not even pick up to receive the message for coming up to two days!!. There’s a chance he’s broken his phone, just a real worry when I know he is struggling with life at the moment. :(

He lives about an hour away and theirs no chance I could drive their without husband knowing and it will feel wrong to do so. I did mention to husband that no one has heard from him so I’m a little bit worried and he didn’t say a word to me, just walked out the room. So that’s the end of that conversation. I’m also going through another issue at the moment with my kids being witnesses in a court case, which my husband doesn’t like to talk about either, I didn’t sleep well because of both these things, so on the school run today I just burst into tears.

I’m just so worried about my friend but have no one to talk to about it, especially not my husband :(

Hey everyone here’s the scenario. So I (30m) have a friend (27f) who went through an event with her previous partner (29m) who she doesn’t live with. His court date is tomorrow in lake county, Illinois and she’s not sure what to do.

She never wants to see him again, but she also doesn’t want to see the rest of his life impacted. His lawyer reached out to her asking if she could drop the no contact order to help his case.

The court date is tomorrow morning. She has been struggling with grad school, work, and other things. So she hasn’t really looked into it. Does she need to go to the court house tomorrow and lift it for him? Or is this something he and his lawyer can handle themselves?

If it were up to me I would let him fend for himself. I won’t share any details, but there was abuse and he showed signs of manipulation and being controlling in the events leading up.

She would appreciate any insight you guys can give her, please and thank you!

UPDATE————————-

She did speak with the courthouse helpline and she has decided to let him fend for himself. She will start working on healing from this event. She’s grateful for all your guys help.

Well, I just want to say to anyone if its happening, tell people. Its not easy to leave as people say. My ex who wouldn't just leave me alone and divorce me, finally got arrested and charged with assault. There is now a no contact order in place and I finally can breathe. He refused for years to agree to a divorce, used me for tax relief and a place to land when ever he felt like it. Go Canadian laws. I finally had the courage to start documenting his abuse in July because I'd hoped he'd get the help he needed. Like I stated, we haven't been in a relationship for over a decade at his request. I have moved out of country to get away, tried to start over many times and he still wouldn't leave me alone. This Saturday, it finally came to a head. He is a addict and chooses to drink and drive. It's now a habituated behavior. I asked him not to drink and drive with me around since I was getting a ride home from seeing a girlfriend. He sucker punched me and wouldn't let me out of the truck. So, I had to jump from a moving vehicle to get away from him. I live in a very remote area and had to flee as he turned around to try to get me to get back into the vehicle - yelling he's going to kill me as it poured rain. I managed to run into the forest and hide . I had enough fortitude to call a friend who heard a lot of the assault and he called the rcmp. I hid for some time until they found me. I'm doing OK. I have friends, family, and proper support in place. I didn't think it would evey get to this place But here we are. And I am grateful and alive. Most importantly, I am free with my dog for the 1st time in 20 plus yrs. I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you

Hey There,

I'm not sure where to begin, i started seeing a girl who was separating from her husband that she still lives with. The husband is abusive so far three fractured ribs, bruised chest, bruised jaw, split lip and attempted to SA her the other day. Every time she calls i pull her out and put her in a hotel. Every morning after she goes back.
Recently when we have spoken she has mentioned she is scared because he will get angry and hurt her. I have offered her a way out, and she seems interested but then stops herself.

The head was the attempted SA, she was ready to press charges but then went back and went back on it. I am genuinely scared he will end her life at some point. I don't know how to get through to her. I'm being supportive i'm not forcing her to call the police or leave him. I'm just listening and offering support and advice.

Please ask any question's there is more information i just don't know how or what to do.....

I need some advice. We just found out our daughters live in boyfriend has been physically abusing her. They both drink and it seems to happen mostly then. She won’t leave as she just lost her job and he’s covering all their bills. She refuses to come live with us and won’t even discuss things with us. Every conversation with her ends in an argument and always has. She did confide in her sisters but won’t talk to us. I want to confront this guy but we were told do not contact him. Christmas is coming and we don’t want him in our home. Not sure how to help her.

my step-mom contacted me desperately when my dad beat her and I really need some tips on what I can do to help.

the first time that she told me was a less serious injury and even though I told her to tell the police she asked me not to tell anyone and just pretend everything was fine like she was doing. at the time I was still really emotional attached to him and afraid that this would end my relationship with my little sister that was just a toddler at the time.

this time the circumstances have changed and I'm a little bit stronger psychologically. my little sister a few months ago told me she got scared when they fought, but I was not sure it had happened again. they moved to a different city with only HIS friends around and she's working for him. after finding out it happened again I couldn't do nothing so I decided to go no contact with my father and send a message confronting him and explaining, but my stepmother begged me not to so I settled for simply ignoring him. she said she's thinking about her next steps so I respected her wishes, even though she still won't tell her mom about it and basically said that if I did that I would be responsible for ending her marriage.

my dad got worried and kept sending me messages that I've not responded, but after a while a did respond only telling that everything is OK in a group text and he realized that I wasn't talking to him specifically and is currently trying to manipulate me by saying that he doesn't understand what is happening bc he did nothing to me etc etc (but I'm pretty sure he knows she told me)

I do understand the power of his manipulation, especially bc he is the most amazing person in the world in front of their friends but privately I have first hand suffered the psychological abuse that he's capable of and I do understand my step-mom

I am having a really hard time with this situation bc once again I know something I was "not supposed to know" and even though I'm doing something (basically ghosting unfortunately bc I can't confront him by her request) I feel powerless and I'm still scared for my sister and stepmom. I feel like I'm losing not only my dad but also my sister bc I couldn't even answer my step mom in the past few days since I'm autistic and I'm having meltdowns nonstop

I don't really know what are my expectations by sharing this here, but I'll take any tips you can give me really

edit: even though she works for him, her mom can definitely accommodate her and my sister, but since her mom doesn't know about this there's no way she can be involved in this planning

So for years i suffered at the hands of 2 horrible men my first husband and a man i met after, i was drugged and raped beaten by the man after and i thought my ex husband was bad nothing compared to the ex bf, I just came here to say leave leave yesterday because now im married to the most amazing man ive ever met hes so loving kind and considerate of me it was the best thing i ever did, i didn't jump straight into a relationship after my ex bf i work on me and love came my way, we have a beautiful 4 year old now if i could go bk give myself advice it would be stop making excuses for his behaviour and get out while your still alive,
So if you think you can't do it ohh yes you can you are stronger than you think i had nothing when i left now i have everything please leave that horrible man you're with or woman if your the man on other end

My husband has beaten me up so many times but I have zero family support and financially and emotionally dependent on him . He says I make him that angry and my mental health issues are the cause i get beaten . He says i love getting abused and beaten up that i am addicted to it . He is so nice to everyone else and his family , my family , his friends all believe him and told me i deserve what is happening to me . How do i become a person that can be loved? I still love and miss him when he is not with me and forgive him but why cant he forgive me?