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I've [m34] just learned that this has been going on for years. He hit her as recently as a year ago. The police have been called to the house 3 times, though I don't know further details. He is extremely verbally abusive and blames her for her (very poor) health. She is entirely dependent on him, having never worked and his insurance keeps her alive. There are pets involved and she wont want to leave them. We are in Georgia USA. Any and all advice is appreciated, please delete if this is not appropriate. I have filled out one consultation request with a law firm specializing in this subject matter. Delete if not allowed. Thank you!

It’s been 6 months since we ended things for good and 9 months since we stopped living together and I still feel just as raw. The memories of violence, the betrayals, the lies, it all still feels so fresh. I’ve been doing counseling and trying to find the right antidepressant but I’m starting to think he broke me for good. I lost any support systems I had previously because I was so isolated just trying to survive the relationship and I don’t know if I can do this alone anymore. I just wish EVERYTHING didn’t make me so sad.

TW: I know there already is one for this page but I just want to put another. I do mention: rape, violence, throat grabbing, threats,

I’ve been speaking to this guy since about June. I’m going to very quickly sum up things he has done that have made me worried. I was typing out a message before this that was a ‘should I be worried’ but when I put it all together I realised that was not the question I should be asking.

He has: come into my house after I said I didn’t want him there, makes me feel bad if I don’t invite him to my house every single day for at least 5 hours, says things like ‘I am going to find you and possibly hurt you’ and ‘If only you were here, could’ve raped you by now and none would’ve knew’, makes jokes with his friends about women abuse and how it’s okay and funny, grabs my throat when I say it’s too tight doesn’t move straight away.

Problem is, he lives next door, quite literally next door. He has said before if I ever cut him off he would come to my house. I have to see him every day five days a week. What did I do ?

I (F26) filed complaint against my baby (1yo)’s father (H25) for DV in France back in mid-May. He was arrested for interrogation and was released 2-3 days later with a no-contact obligation with me, but no implication for his parental obligation. The domestic violence including calling me bad mother, belittling, swearing and throwing objects when things didn’t go his way which have been happening alot since our son was born, to finally pushing, hitting and stomping on me which had let to the police report. physical abuse started happening since last September and escalated from there. It has driven me to suicidal thoughts many times, not only because of the physical trauma but also because i felt like i couldn’t seek help or do anything about it or even talk to anyone because i fear anyone would take my son away because i put up with his dad just because i don’t want to take that family away from him. Months have passed and i moved out with my baby but the baby father is back. He gradually stayed over because he was visiting his son but he managed to creep into our lives because once again i guilt tripped myself from saying no and setting limits because he knows that he meant something for my baby and that’s my soft spot. The trauma is coming back and after months my suicidal thoughts are coming back because i feel like i can never leave this.. the only thing holding me back is the thought of leaving my baby behind. I love him too much but i am in a really bad place. Last week i dropped him off to daycare and for a second felt numb and was about to .. I need this off my chest but also feel like nobody can know because people who are in associations trained to help victims are also the ones making CPS calls.

This is so hard for me to write but I need help yall. Here's my situation, I (32/F) am currently at rock bottom with 4 children all under the age of 10. I had to get an emergency protection order from their father due to him abusing my children horribly while I was at work and it has literally left me with nothing. I have reached out to so many other organizations, churches, friends, law enforcement, etc with absolutely zero help. I live in a rural county town of about 400 people & no jobs in walking distance and ive had everything taken from me including my vehicle. I feel like I did exactly what I needed to do for my children and their safety but now I'm the one suffering along with the kids. He (38/m)works and gets VA benefits at about $4600 a month and has yet to help me. I have filed for child support but I guess that takes a while? I'm so broken. Did I make a mistake, what do I do? I have no family or friends around here because I have been isolated for so long. Can anyone point my in the right direction or help in anyway? I will show proof of everything of you need. Also if you pray, please life us up in your prayers.

Thank you for listening.

I knew my relationship was over 6 months ago, I just wasn't able to leave until recently. Now, I want to casually date for fun. Nothing serious.

I'm getting so much judgement from my family and friends who are saying that I shouldn't be dating at all. I spent two years being controlled by my (now ex) partner and now it just feels like other people are trying to control me and tell me what to do.

How do you deal with the judgement from your loved ones?

My father is toxic, abusive , even got physical with my mother once. He’s threatened my mother before and my brother. He called my grandma to threaten her that he will kill my mother and then kill himself. Obviously he has mistresses also. We are trying to get him to leave the house; we want to sign the lease and take ownership of the place. We can’t move out because rent is too expensive and we can’t afford. What can I do here? I need him to give us the lease today. I can’t take it anymore, the threats, bickering, disrespect. My mother needs peace she’s put up with enough of him. I also have a little brother and I need to protect him.

Last night my bf and I got into a fight. We had a great day all day and then when we were on our way back home, he got an attitude and I defended myself. He told me to leave. He does this a lot where he will tell me to get out or he will threaten tk leave me. I really hate when he does that and have asked him not to repeatedly. Usually I will just take it and stay, but this time I got really mad at him. So I left, went to the bar and got a drink by myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t do anything wrong, I was just mad and decided to get a drink at a bar my friend worked at.

He got mad that I left, of course, even though he told me to. I did feel bad, so I had my drink, talked with my friend for a bit, then went home.

When I got home, the door was locked from the inside and I couldn’t get in. I admit I was tipsy and upset. I got mad that he locked the door even though I said I was on my way back. He eventually opened the door. He took my phone from me and kept asking me to open it. Asked me who I was “fucking.” I didn’t cheat or do anything wrong, never have. He was really upsetting me so I left the room and went to lay on the couch.

He came after me, told me to get the fuck out and that he didn’t love me. He then grabbed my arm really hard and pulled me into the bed. At this point, I was sobbing. He said he didn’t mean what he said and proceeded to have sex with me. While I was sobbing and pulling away. I didn’t say no exactly, but it didn’t feel right. He stopped after a few minutes and I don’t remember what happened after. I guess I fell asleep.

Looking back, this all feels fucked up. Yet I still feel bad that we fought. I said some hurtful things. So I understand why he got mad. But what he did felt like rape. Which hurts me to say.

This morning I couldn’t find my keys and my car was blocking him in when he had work. He got super mad. Didn’t do anything, but I have felt like shit all day.

He’s grabbed me before. Never hit me, but I’m wondering if what I’m experiencing is abuse. I’ve never been in a relationship like this. I just need someone to tell me if I’m being crazy or not for feeling like he was wrong for having sex with me while I was sobbing and upset.

Hi guys, here's an update. So after she was released on Tuesday evening, she went to our local ER and got herself 5150'd... Since everything's running about a day late and a dollar short, it ends today. I've been able to keep up reading the doctor's notes so I'm aware of when they discharge her. It looks like she was denied going to Sacramento facility because of her recent neck surgery. In the notes they say they're trying Santa Rosa.

I am really really hoping that they will find her a placement so she does not get put out on the streets, because I think she might come here. It just snowed about an inch and it's freezing outside.

This could go one of two ways: 1- she gets admitted to the place that she needs to be, and stays there through trial.

2- she gets kicked out of the hospital, and realizes she can come here, take her car and fill it. And so I end up with a standby and losing the car today...

At least I am prepared, all of her shit is in her room so I can tell the officer that's the only room that she can access. But the car is in her name and unless she gets committed it's still her property. I think by California law once you're committed, you lose all rights to property at 5152.

I personally think that she is so afraid of being homeless that she won't be thinking rationally. And if we're lucky she'll grab the railing of the bed and scream so they'll keep her in custody...

Candles and sage are burnt. Doors are still locked. Cameron still working. Today I'm cleaning my room and doing laundry and waiting, watching, worrying..

I hate that prospective employers view you in a negative light if you don’t have a LinkedIn.

Domestic violence survivors can’t detail their current employers or employment history after escaping an abuser. This isn’t fair to DV survivors and nobody considers this.

I’ve just found pictures for 2019 that i thankfully took after my partner had strangled me and slapped me across my face a couple of times, since that days it’s happened maybe 3 more times? i know this may sound stupid but does that make him an abuser?

I hope everyone who has/is going through an awful experience is healing. Things will get better. From one stranger to another, I care about you. Your growth matters. Sending love.

Hi, I recently ended my relationship with my husband and abuser after 6 long years. I'm struggling so much with my feelings at the moment. It's been 4 months now since I had the locks changed and blocked him on all platforms. He has since been arrested and awaiting charges for his offences against me.
Sometimes I wonder if it was as bad as I remember or am I making it worse in my head so I can get over it? I keep thinking about him. I have a list of all the abuse but I can't bring myself to read it. I also feel so stupid for putting up with so much for so long and all for nothing. I feel like I've been used so, so much and I can only see it now. I did love him, a lot. I just don't think he loved me at all now when I look back. Does any one have any coping mechanisms for days/weeks like this? Even just stories of going through similar?

After stalking, harassment and another attempt at pretending they were pregnant (fake pregnancy test) I contacted the police.

The relationship was controlling and coercive, with emotional and verbal abuse.

Why do I feel guilty having reported it? Why do I keep thinking about them and trying to see some sort of misunderstanding?

So I'm scared asf right now. I haven't spoken to this man for like almost 4 years now... For context: I dated this man when i was 17-19. Back in COVID times. Literally like since the beginning of covid to the "end" of it. This man was physically and emotionally abusive. Cheated on me, gaslit me and hit me during that entire relationship. The relationship ended in his arrest and a restraining order. Then in like 2022 he came by my apartment and took pictures of the paper tags of my car. + (He didn't know i was in the car because I had it turned off and it was 11pm during early January, very dark out.) A year later (2023)- I move out of my apartment in late January. That same year around May, he's stalking my socials so i block him. I already had him blocked, but he started using his dead brothers account to watch my stories (my account was public- now it is private). So i blocked that account too. Now today, Nov.2 2024.. very close to his birthday. Yes he's a Scorpio haha. Since Tuesday, I've been receiving spam calls from a private number. I never answer phone calls. I'll even dodge phone calls from my father. I noticed that this caller was persistent. I would ignore the calls, decline the calls, but still they would call again and again, but I never picked up. Then today, it's 1 IN THE MORNING, and the private number calls (previously the PN would call at more reasonable hours). I find it odd, but I don't answer. Then the number calling is no longer private.. Now, I've recently been getting a lot of calls from lot's of different numbers.. but i just like felt something about this was different. Still, I decline the call, and yet again the caller is persistent. So finally, I answer, but keep my mic on MUTE. Then I hear his voice. "Hello? ... Hello, are you gonna answer me?" And my heart fucking stops. I drop the call and immediately block the number. I'm just scared he knows where I live now.. the restraining order has long expired. I have so many questions.. but I do NOT want to talk to him. I am shaking. I guess I would just like advice and reminders to NOT TALK TO THAT MAN.

Im writing this with a pounding heart and sweaty palms. Me and my ex were together for 5+ years. When we broke up it didn't end well and I ended up having to kick them out due to constant and unbearable berating that I was an abuser. We've been back and forth through legal stuff since then. They've stalked me and harassed me for almost 2 years. Im exhausted. I've blocked them on everything but keep an eye on some of their posts. Sometimes there are things about me, lies and wants. The most recent post that was made today states that their plan is to buy a gun, kill me and kill themselves. Im terrified. I don't even know what to think or what to do. I've tried to get a protection order twice, first time the judge told them that they needed to stop harassing me, second time I stopped the order because I talked to them and I thought we had ended things on good terms. I feel so stupid. They know where I live. I feel like I need to move far away. Im scared to back to court because I believe it will make things worse, a piece of paper won't stop them it will only make them more angry at me. What else can I do? How can I deal with this? My lease doesn't expired for 10 months. If I dont move I'm scared they will find me and kill me. I have firearms in my home but what about my job? What about when I'm alone? I cant stop looking over my shoulder. Im scared I'm going to be one of those cases. They blame everything bad happening in their life because of me and its all a delusion. I know they are suffering from some serious mental health issues. I cant face them in court again. I cant do this anymore. I'm so scared.

A friend of mine told me about the argument her and her BF had the other day. During that argument he looked at her and said to her that if a man was hitting her she would behave (better). Basically saying that she needs to be under some sort of governance or needs to know how to conduct herself.

Another instance was when her bf was excited about a promotion at work and she was not listening to what he was saying; since the movers were at the door waiting to be let inside of the house. Due to her not revealing in his excitement in that moment he aggressively shouted at her telling her to shut up.

I have told her that these are not good characteristics of a man/ potential husband; however he has since apologized and she is willing to stay. Are there any DV survivors who saw signs of a flawed character which lead to abuse? I want real life stories of what his ways could lead to, especially if he is proclaiming that she needs to be tapped for discipline.

Me and my husband had a small fight but he strangled me ang slap me i pushed him And scratch him but he didnt stop he pointed Gun at his head grab me and say he will pull the triger and use 1 bullet for the both of us to get killed. I was so terrifed that fight for my life but now he twisted his story and said that im the one who start hitting him first.

Last night by best friend was strangled twice by her husband and I was on the phone recording for 2 and a half hours

They are currently on holiday in another state and she called hysterical that he strangled her, then he did it again the second time. He then broke down a fire door in an air bnb to get to her and tried to jump off a balcony, while flipping back and forth from laughing at her and teasing her to crying and apologising. The whole ordeal was horrendous and I felt so helpless.

This morning she has told me he is remorseful and she has given him an ultimatum that he has to stop drinking or she will leave, but he is an alcoholic and I know he won't stop. It has been building up to this moment, he has punched holes in walls and kicked down doors before but this is the first time he has put his hands on her.

I've never dealt with anything like this before and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to unknowingly push her away because then she will have no one but him, but she doesn't want to leave because she loves him and they are very successful (due to her), have a lot of assets and he will destroy her life on his way out.

My partner and I are also meant to be going away with them next month and I don't know what to do. How do I support her without overstepping? Is it okay for me to encourage her to get this drinking agreement in writing? Do i tell her family? I am so lost and have no one to talk to about this

First time posting. Me and my boyfriend are best friends but his anger sometimes makes me questions things. He has never been physical with me but he will throw things and break things. He has over come alot in the past year with a close family member passing and has not been as angry when sober. But just now he has gotten angry to the point of throwinging things twice (not at me) but is drunk and in physical pain. He hasnt done this in a while, used to do while sober but he has overcame this. Im young and not sure if normal in relationships, all relationships have hard times right? Feel like i walk on eggshells to not provoke his anger at times. There is always weeks we have good times and no issues but then other weeks it is constant arguments (im not an arguerier and never argue back, im too chill and my view is no argument is never worth it) venting here but feel like im lost.

Throwaway. No good flairs for this situation.

In couples therapy we are working out some boundaries with my in-laws and all of this started going through my head after our session.

My husband put his hands on me a few months ago. The next morning, I cancelled plans with my in-laws and told my mother in law what he had done and that I would be leaving him if it ever came close to happening again. My mother in law responded with “don’t tell anyone!! Not even [nanny]. I will talk with him.”

She did not ask if I was okay, or really anything. I understand a mother wanting to defend her son’s image, but it rubbed me the wrong way and I feel if my son did that to a girl I would understand if she wanted to leave him, and I would be PISSED at my son. Not telling the girl to hush hush and defend his actions. Am I processing this correctly? Is this as wrong and fucked up as I feel it is? I feel like she doesn’t care about me as an individual at all, and this proves it. Or no?

(Pardon my poor English, I am very sleep deprived right now). My mother forced me into a shitty nightshift job where I barely make $100 a week and proceeds to make life hell. She constantly makes loud noises in the house and sings where it’s almost impossible for me to sleep (I’m a very light sleeper, and no amount of alcohol or melatonin/magnesium can keep me asleep). And she blames me for not being able to sleep; constantly telling me that it’s my own fault and that I should be asleep during the night and not the day, regardless of my job.

Another incident is her threatening to leave the house and make me and my brother stay together to survive and live together. Due to the current state of the economy, its almost impossible to survive on our own without help from the government, and idk if my last post is still public or not. But she’s been threatening this for a year now and i don’t know what to do; I’m 20 years old and she hasn’t taught me how to do anything (pay taxes, find a house, etc). And tells me all the time that the best way to learn is if she leaves. And that I will learn on my own. And if anything bad we’re to happen then it’s my fault.

I genuinely don’t know if this is normal or not, I thought it wasn’t at first but everyone seems to be taking her side and calling it “tough love”. And everytime she loses an argument or I ask for help with something, she always brings it back up, and it just feels like she’s mocking me at is point. Everytime she does this i cannot help but break down and cry.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to rely on the government for financial help due to other unrelated reasons (specifically immigration), and I have no idea how to get through this… any advice or at least an opinion to tell me if I am truely in the wrong or just going mad?

He keeps pulling me back into court and I can't keep doing this. I'm emotionally exhausted, I'm in debt and cannot incur more debt. I need a way out. Do you have any out of the box ideas? We share custody of a child, so I can't change my name - otherwise I would.

So, I am in a safe place in fact I got a grant from my insurance for a temp place to stay! There still has been no contact with my abuser and I finally got a new phone (outdated but it works) that took forever to get my phone line back.

Back story: my now ex boyfriend snatched my phone out of my hand of the day of the event, the next day to civil assist to pick up my belongings after a 15 hour hospital stay there was 10 trash bags of my stuff with no where to be found my phone. These trash bags were filled with my cleaning supplies and dishes etc.

He either 1. threw out 2. threw it out the window 3. he has it or 4. it was in the trash bags but after 3 hours of trying ot go through it I did not find it.

This phone has significants to me, lots of photos stored on my phone. Lots of things I cannot sign into. And most of all, I just want it back. My question is:

1. Should I report this as stolen? I really don't know if this is considered stolen and if its a lost cause and also I do not want another civil assist humiliation

2. Should I just let it go and maybe just mention it to the DA so they mention it to his lawyer or something?

3. There is a no contact order, I do not want to contact him but I want him to know that this is still missing.

4. Ive had a google voice number and perhaps thats why the victims advocate hasnt gotten back to me, because restricted calls arent allowed. But I still have yet been able to talk with the one assigned to the case.

So I (21yr) my husband (25yr) and our daughter (10m) live with my mom and dad in their loft. It has no walls and no privacy. We put up blankets on the wall over the open spaces to try and give ourselves a since of privacy. My mother came into the area and we had asked her countless times before to ask, knock on the wall, or let us know before she came in as if it was a room. She came into our area this day with no warning to us. And when I was upset about it she asked me what was wrong. I said calmly "all we ask for is a bit of privacy" She immediately started raising her voice and I kept asking her why she was yelling at me I wasn't yelling at her and she kept raising her voice more and more. My husband asked if we could take it outside so it wouldn't be in front of the baby. I asked him if he could take her outside and get in the car with her and my mom got in his face saying " yeah, take her outside since you decided to bring her In here" He said "she shouldn't have to leave this is her home to. She should feel safe here" I decided me. My husband and our daughter were going to leave my father had been yelling at me and my mom as well and when we went outside both mom and dad followed and my mom came out from behind my dad and she punched my husband in the back of the head while he was holding our Daughters car seat. He turned around and tried to get her off and I grabbed her pulling her off. She went after him again and I threw her onto the ground. He was bruised and cut on his face from her twisting her rings and punching him. He got the baby in the car but when my mom punched him the second time she almost knocked him over onto our daughter. I began arguing with my dad about his wife (my mom) and she had gotten up and was grabbing my husband's wrist telling him " I am in control here" and "I'm not touching you" he said no she wasn't in control and slammed the door almost getting her fingers. He locked the car with him and the baby inside. My mother tried babies door but it was locked and I eventually got both of my parents back inside. We were told to get our disrespectful asses out of their house and get the fuck on. So we grabbed our things taking turns on who would be in the car with the baby and we left. We have been homless for about 3 weeks now and have no where to go. Weve taken my husband to the hospital and he now has a concussion. And he didnt call the cops because my sister heavily relies on my mom and dad and they dont treat her like they do us. No family or friends so if anyone could give us some advice or options it would be more than helpful. We live in georgia if it helps.

Edited for clarification and small details.

I've been living in a refuge for the past 5 days. Today, when I was coming back from doing some shopping, my keywoker stoppede and asked me if I'd take part in a survey. She said it was because I'm homeless. Up until not the thought didn't even cross my mind that I'm homeless and it sent me spiralling.

My ex is in our apartment, safe and comfortable, with our cat, with all our home comforts and everything we built together. And I'm in a fucking shelter crying on my single mattress bunk bed. While they're telling people I decided to move out because we had a bad fight. Not that I fled at 1am because I was terrified they would be violent again after harassing me for an hour.

It's not fair. Why am I the one that has to leave everything behind? Why am I the one thats paying the price?

First of all, not a native English speaker so, sorry for that.

Hi, first time posting here but this has been brewing inside of me for a little while now and I just need, someone who understands to hear me out? I have tried to speak to a friend, to explain why I think the things I do, but they (gladly and amazingly) have never been abused by a partner, so they don't get how deep and twisted it can be.

I was in a abusive relation ship when I was very young it was my first real relationship and it contained most types of abuse (physically mental etc) and this is not my story but those feelings and feeling of helplessness has come to my life because my best friend, someone who is on the other side of the world from me has been now cut out from my life because of a abusive husband.

And I feel so lost because I can't do anything, I can't afford to send money for them to escape, I can't give them shelter from all the way from here and they do have a child together + a lot of animals but same time I Know how much I craved someone to notice and help me when I was in that situation but also knowing nobody can choose for you to leave.

This is not the first time someone close to me has come out and told me they had been abused right under my nose, and the guilt of not being able to help ate me up back then too, but this time this person can't or won't leave, and well now they even can't because of Financial abuse and it makes me feel so lost in the world and like I am back in the scared, cornered little me who was struggling to stay a float and that makes me feel so selfish because it is not about me in any shape or form.

I don't know what to do, I have send them a message in a place their husband most likely can't find it to tell them that all I can offer is resources to leave but I have not heard of them in couple of weeks now and I am aware trying to get hold of them could get them hurt too.

So I don't know what I am seeking with this? To get it out to people who get me? To get help? I don't know, feel so lost.

Help me to know what to do from my he tried to kill me and now he twisted his story

I’ve spent years concealing certain things out of shame and out of fear that I’d be punished for it, I thought it’d get better but it ultimately got far worse like we all know it does and I know I should have left a long time ago but a combination of guilt and love stopped me.

He’s been painting me as the abuser for a long time for anything I’ve ever done while telling me he’ll leave me if I involve or tell anybody what’s happened to me so I guess this is the beginning of the end.

1. Said he was texting a musician when he was texting a girl whose number he got from the club I work at.
2. Blames me for being hospitalised because I invited him to the event and told him to not get involved in the fight.
3. Laughed at me when I cried over him putting me down, called me a cry baby and then said “are you okay?” and pretended he didn’t cause it when my room mate walked in.
4. Lied about his age and his name to everybody we mutually knew.
5. Had a fiancé in another country and claimed his aunt made it up.
6. Lied to a girl in Germany about being in a committed relationship with her while he was with me called Rebecca.
7. Texted me saying he was on a date and that he’s leaving me because I couldn’t get him into a sold out concert.
8. Went between me and my room mate lying about what we’d said about each other to isolate me.
9. Threaten me with ICE to scare me during arguments.
10. Stay at my house for weeks on end saying he had his own apartment when he lived in his car.
11. Sit on my laptop for days ignoring me and threaten to break up if I tried to spend time with him.
12. Accuse me of being insecure when he commented on other women’s bodies or flirted with them.
13. Disappeared for days at a time without talking to me without explanation.
14. Claimed that he served in Afghanistan when his discharge papers said he was mentally unfit for deployment.
15. Said I’m worthless because my family are criminals and his are above me when they’re also criminals.
16. Said he can do anything he wants to me because I’m below him.
17. Reacted aggressively when I said I didn’t want to have sex and would occasionally leave.
18. Accused me of cheating on him if I wouldn’t have sex until I gave in.
19. Guilted me into letting him record one of the times I didn’t want to have sex because I mentioned the possibility of an onlyfans, this was after slamming hotel doors and accusing me of cheating until I gave in.
20. Sent those videos to people I didn’t know about on instagram to advertise his onlyfans.
21. Left me alone to deal with an abortion in a hotel while he was staying with Kaitlin who he claimed was a friend.
22. Called me a liability because my medical condition caused me to fall ill while living in the car and asked for water or food.
23. Refused to process his own food stamps to feed us despite spending all of his money on alcohol so I did it.
24. Lied about having a half way house and being sober after we got back together.
25. Lied about going on a holiday to Europe for a week to avoid seeing me so I didn’t ask any questions.
26. Said he was going to visit his family but couldn’t be on the phone because his parents don’t like it (he’s been on the phone to me for 3 days straight at his parents since then)
27. Claimed that he does and doesn’t have a kid in Europe.
28. Tried to convince me I should pay his parents back for bail from when he assaulted me.
29. Left me when I was struggling and immediately got back with his ex claiming it was a coincidence.
30. Put me in the hospital for questioning him on why he has tinder on his phone and not letting him throw me out of the car and drive away drunk.
31. Say he’s saving for us and then start a fight everytime he gets paid and come back with nothing.
32. Came back after new years wanting to get back together after being involved with multiple women and lying about it.
33. Tried to convince me he liked a picture of his naked friend because the photo gave a “blue collar” vibe and I didn’t get it.
34. Told his ex who he’d agreed to not speak to that he misses her and had to be asked by her if we were still together on the day he was flying out to marry me.
35. Made a comment to my room mate how there’s so many hot girls in australia and to watch out for him so he doesn’t get in trouble to my room mate while here to marry me.
36. Disappeared for hours on the same night “looking for cigarettes.”
37. Disappeared to a random person’s house for a day and made a comment to my room mate about how hot this person’s daughters were.
38. Made negative comments to my room mate behind my back about my body.
39. Claimed I’m abusive for kicking him out of the house after finding out he’s sexted other women/texted his ex/been verbally abusive.
40. Would go for a walk for hours to avoid me everytime I had an issue or put his headphones on ignoring me in my own room.
41. Started a fight when I told him I don’t like him liking cosplay lewds on instagram especially infront of me and said I’m just being insecure.
42. Uploaded a thirst trap on my birthday and gave me the silent treatment when I asked him to take it down.
43. Called me insecure on my birthday because I saw a text from Kaitlin saying “I miss you” and I got upset because he claimed they didn’t speak anymore.
44. Let me do all the research for my own birthday plans and made no effort.
45. Goes out of his way to help other people but would put off doing anything I asked for months.
46. Threatened to leave when I found a message of him saying he misses Kaitlin that proved they weren’t friends and he slept in her bed for over a week and not on the couch and said it was my fault.
47. Contacted another girl in Texas while in the airport asking her to have sex when he got back to America, calling me abusive and said he was already on the flight back then lied about it.
48. Lied about having any sexual involvement online with his friend in Sydney called koala.
49. Calls me stupid and worthless because I don’t have a degree.
50. Calls me a slut and a whore every time he’s angry at me or anything else.
51. Tries to use the death of my family members to get a reaction.
52. Didn’t even tell his own parents we got married and then tried to tell them it was coerced when they found out.
53. Lied to me about his parents knowing we got back together after a fight and then punished me when they found out.
54. Tells people I’m abusive because I punched him in the teeth after 8 hours of him threatening to leave, coming back hours later to verbally abuse me, making comments about my dead mother, calling me a slut and a whore, calling me stupid and worthless while he was drunk.
55. Tried to convince me I gave him a concussion when my room mate watched him fall and hit his head while trying to sneak into the backyard.
56. Tells me I have to pay his parents back for his flight home after I cancelled the one I paid for after he can get somebody better and left the house.
57. Telling me I’m worthless because he works and I don’t after I did the job search for him after 3 weeks of him watching TikToks all day.
58. Got angry because I ate food without buying him any once but he’d either eat at work or disappear to eat without me.
59. Would lie about the price of things we needed to pocket the change to spend it on himself.
60. Tried to convince me it was my responsibility to get an intervention order dropped by going to court for us to be together and punished me everytime the court didn’t drop it.
61. Would record me after hours of verbal abuse and me begging for a resolution until I snapped to call me crazy, then called me abusive when I recorded him back.
62. Tried to convince me to have a child with him and called me selfish when I said no.
63. Lied about a girl (koala) knowing we’re married and acted like he didn’t know why she asked my room mate for proof.
64. Told me to meet up with him and was 7 hours late not picking up his phone, showed up and told me to not contact him for a week and left.
65. Agreed to drive me to work and then refused to last minute risking my job.
66. Isolated me by threatening to leave if I told anybody about our problems while telling people I was the problem behind my back.
67. Would call me a child who needs to know their place for speaking up for myself.
68. Gave me the silent treatment and threatened to break up if I wouldn’t send nudes because it makes me uncomfortable.
69. Tried to avoid accountability by saying he was diagnosed as a sex addict without ever proving it.
70. Called me a gold digger after he spent $200 on my birthday after I spent $200 on his while paying for his flight and majority of food in Australia.
71. Made me beg for him to let me stay back in the car so I wouldn’t be on the street after I suffered a severe heatstroke and he kicked out.
72. Hid under the bed to fake a panic attack because I went to McDonald’s with my room mate and let me look for him thinking he was gone.
73. Said infront of my room mate I’m lying about the abuse and tried to use my self harm scars as proof that I’m crazy.
74. Accused me of kicking him out when I said if he left to avoid the problem he wouldn’t be coming back in, then called me saying I have to make up for him being on the street days later.
75. Calls me to tell me he’s been with somebody else when I’ve broken up with him, asks to get back together and then denies he was with someone else.
76. Tries to force me to publicly post him on socials not wanting to be a secret when he posts so many girls that his following doesn’t even know he’s married.
77. 4 days after we were married he called me disgusting and verbally abused me for asking why he was giving me the silent treatment and sleeping on the floor.
78. After hours of abuse 4 days after we got married I called the police to intervene and called calling me disgusting for calling the police and said I ruined everything.
79. After I called the police and they left he came back, walked in and sat on the couch for a few hours refusing to talk to me and saying he’s just there to sleep so I had my room mate kick him out.
80. He continued to contact me after he left Australia asking to work it out and when I finally agreed he said it’s my fault we didn’t resolve it in Australia because I kicked him out.
81. One of the girls (koala) was also speaking to my room mate and I guess he came up, leading to him abusing me.
82. After a few weeks he came back and said he’d been saving for all the things he said he wanted to do for us and after about a week he started another fight so he could spend it all on a music festival saying it was a coincidence.
83. He came back again saying he wanted to work it out but he shouldn’t pay anything and tried to guilt me into doing it by myself again.
84. In the end he agreed to all the original terms and then started a fight so he could go out on Halloween.

This isn’t everything but it’s a start.

Hello,on halloween i had a hearing for a preliminary order in the eastern Virginia jurisdiction against my abuser,and also got a warrant for her arrest pretty recently on simple assault.Shes on bail,and due to that there’s a no contact directive. However,she claimed at the hearing that she ‘never before struck me and never would’(i have a detailed account of when and where she did,just no written apology) and also made up a story about me burning myself to ‘impress her’ due to my ‘history of self harm’ to combat my testimony of the burns she left on me. I literally feel so raw and gutted from the inside having expected she wouldn’t have the balls to show up to the hearing at all just for her to show up breakup essay in hand (which the judge didn’t care to read thankfully) and claiming that our relationship was ‘perfectly healthy with the texts to prove it’. I can also tell she’s already getting ready to build a good defense for the trial because she went back up after the hearing to inquire further about lawyers for a testimony. I feel as if now it’s the truth against her blatant and absurd lies,which just isn’t even fair or justifiable because her only basis is in me having a history of self harm and just completely denying the experience of her hitting me. How do i go about seeking legal counsel when it comes to this? I mean,she’s quite literally committing a felony by lying under oath while on bail,but she was calculative enough to not say the more incriminating stuff over text,making it more difficult for me to prove my validity.