CW: De*th, Car ac**dent

I lost my lifelong best friend this year. We became friends when we were 3. She died at the age of 23 in August of this year. I just turned 24, and had my first birthday without her.

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently (I feel weird about the diagnosis) after she was killed in a car accident. I knew it was gonna mess me up to view her body, but I didn’t know it would be like this. She was injured, and visibly so.

I keep having nightmares. I’ve had nightmare after nightmare and almost every single night I relive her funeral in my dreams. I see her body, and it just gets worse and worse.

Every day it just stays on my mind and it won’t stop. I think about it. I think about what she looked like, I think about how I found out, the feelings all come back, I dissociate, and I just feel like I’m on autopilot.

Then I get nauseated and I get to stressed I can’t do anything but lay down in my bed. I dropped out of college and everything. I’m only working 2 hours a day. Nothing excites me anymore, I’m not happy, I can’t stop thinking about her. I wish there was something I could have done.

I was talking to her like 3 hours before she died.

Pieces of her car are still in the creek.

I fucking hate this.

Hello, I’m 24M years old going through severe mental illness and disassociation and confusion since June and my condition got worse month by month. To put it this way, I would wake up twitching, shivering, panicking, losing the voice inside my head, having unreal sensations known to mankind in my fkin brain. I would go completely mental and insane I would spend days crying and freaking out, I would try to distract myself but it would be impossible due to the severe sensation inside my skull, all my senses were blocked I would lose my sense of self and navigation and pace back and forth, looking mindlessly outside my window, be scared of myself. Had absolutely no thoughts for many weeks. My brain was doing terrible things and my mind is severely affected. It was pure hell, and I’m scared of living with a brain I can’t trust and causes torture. I got with a psychiatrist, he prescribed me 10mg lexapro, it has made some of my senses come back. I’ve been living in pain and agony for many months and just feel foggy and confused. Got well enough to purchase a 44 magnum, however I live with my 3 brothers and my mom and have been in a relationship of 6yrs with my GF, this isn’t no way to live and idk what to do with such a complex psych issue, my brain still feels so odd. I just wanna end it, I can’t function at all. I would look at my own mother of angel and family and gf and not be able to process anything. I would just stare at the TV, unable to process audio and visuals…had a lot of testing done, blood work, brain scans, SPECT scan and still nothing. Nobody fucking knows. I’ve gone completely insane, I don’t feel real and can’t trust my own brain for shit, I CANNOT EVEN WORK/DRIVE, my brain feels cemented, I would have the most brutal panic attacks felt like my heart would explode, i’m 100% sure anyone would’ve ended their life with no hesitation with my condition, welp anyways Got a fkin 44 magnum now. I’m basically mentally handicapped now, and I used to be in the service.

Has anyone ever/know anyone who has experienced dying and coming back to life? When my grandad was on an operating table, he died and was brought back to life, but he said when he was dead he was in a waiting room, and his dad (who had already passed) came in and told him that it ‘wasnt his time yet’ and thats all he can remember. Has anyone else got any stories like this?

Have you guys ever thought about dying all alone in a deathbed? How would it feel to be all alone. I've heard it somewhere that "the most fearless are those who are never scared of being alone" how to overcome that feeling of always needing someone?

I've had a few people in my life die: all of my grandparents, other relatives, a close friend a long time ago.

I used to be very frightened of dying and death. I also used to think it was this big, mysterious thing that was the source of all of life's mysteries.

Nowadays, I see death as a pretty commonplace and mundane thing. Everyone dies, and the actual dying process is pretty routine a lot of the time for people who are old.

Death can be shocking when it happens to someone young or if its in a violent way, but even then old age gets everyone anyway.

I've basically accepted that everyone I am close to will eventually die. Especially my parents generation is getting closer to being older.

But even celebrities and young people, every day you are one breath closer to death. It seems pointless to worry about it, when there's literally no way to avoid it completely. You can delay it by being healthy, but it's coming for you.

Since I was a child it's impossible for me to imagine that you would just stop existing one day. Thinking that you can think of your own death sounds impossible. It's like imagining something without you (the one who imagines). It feels like that, by definition you can prove that death doesn't exist. What would it be like to be not here? Imagine one day you'll just stop existing. I know I formulate these sentences in a weird way, and I do it on purpose so you guys understand how I feel about it.

I do think I can explain this by : We aren't living the reality but we feel the reality through our body "sensors". So you ARE by yourself your own reality (at least what you think it is), and so dying in the sense of your body stop working would be just you, being exposed to the true reality / world. And I think I implicitly realized that even if I'm not religious or anything.

I just think you can do an ontological proof that you still exist as some kind of "being" in post-death.

Sorry for my bad phrasing, but the people who feel it might explain it better than me, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.

I’ve been having some weird feelings lately. Like my time is near. Been having weird dreams too and seeing weird things. I don’t do drugs or drink. Something in my gut just told me to drop whatever I’m doing and just spend time with my son.

Has anyone here ever spoken to anyone before they died? What were they thinking? Feeling?

My grandpa died recently and he smelled sweet and sickly for weeks before it. Just the type of smell that makes u want to vomit. Once he died the smell of acetone took over for a few hours. Now my grandma got sick and started to have the same strange smell. Does anyone know if the sickly smell is just when someone is very ill or is it the smell of death?

Thinking this is the route for me. Any one have more details or family history to share?

What is this called?

No. I’m not suicidal. It’s just whenever I am near our balcony, I live in the 7th floor, I see my body jumping and then a thought occurs about the consequences. It was once a month but now it seems excessive keeps playing in my head.

I think my brain is playing mind games.

I often wish I were dead. I’ll be often going about my day and in every day situations like: driving, walking the dog, etc. I just vividly picture myself dying someway. Always quick and painless. I usually shake it off as an intrusive thought but it always happens. I wish I were just dead but at the same time I’m so deathly afraid of the other side. Pun somewhat intended.

I’m nearly 30 and I often have mild panic attacks about what happens when I die. Sometimes I plead for a breakthrough on life extension, sometimes I wish I just got T boned by a drunk driver so I don’t have to wait in fear. I don’t know what this life is about, it feels meaningless in the grand scheme of things yet I find myself appreciating beautiful moments deeply. I’m a mess.

I’m in my mid-20s, and over the past three months, I’ve seen a few of my friends lose their parents. Watching them grieve, fall into depression, or even turn to unhealthy habits like drugs to cope has been really overwhelming for me.

This has made me think a lot about my own parents, who are also getting older. For the past six days, whenever I spend time with them or laugh with them, I can’t help but think about how they’ll pass away one day too.

These thoughts have been haunting me daily, and I’ve started imagining their death repeatedly, almost like I’m trying to mentally prepare myself so that when it happens, I won’t be as devastated or will be able to handle it more calmly.

Is this kind of thinking normal? Has anyone else faced something like this? How do you deal with these thoughts without letting them take over your present moments?

This shocked me because unlike her. She was on a lot of morphine and Ativan. She was not supposed to get up because she fell and I tried to get her to stay in bed but she got strong and didn’t want to. Then she laid back down and said this is stupid let’s have a party (also unlike her). I feel guilty and horrible I was so worried abt her falling I didn’t take the time to address whatever she was going through. Any thoughts to share? The funeral is today and I want this out of my head.

so just eventually there's nothing but you can't experience being dead, so does that mean we won't know that it happened or remember that it happened and just suddenly be nothing

I'm scared to die. I'm scared of the pain. I've had panic attacks about since I was a kid. Nothing besides time is my cause, same as most. Yet everyday I know it's there in waiting, I see the videos of others losing theirs, and I'm scared for my time. I want to scream at everyone because how do most people seem so chill about this unknown possible painful conclusion to our end that's coming for us all? How are people so at peace that everyone everything they love will eventually die too? I struggle to truly enjoy anything because all I think of how scared I am to lose them or me

He died of a heart attack at the age of 60, he won’t be released from the coroner until sometime next week. My worry is that my brother doesn’t understand what he will potentially look like, even I’m not sure but I know more of the things like blood pooling and eyes looking sunken. I’d like to know what to expect and I’m hoping I can prepare my brother a bit. TIA

i want a viewing/ funeral. but

i dont want traditional casket/coffin, i want biodegradable if possible. i dont want to be cremated. i read that you cant be embalmed if you want biodegradable, and if youre not embalmed it will be hard to find someone that will allow viewings, right? what can i do?

I'm just curious about peoples thoughts

1. People have a lot more dreams then they can remember, pick a random day 2 years ago, not of significance. You don't remember all of that day, or maybe you don't even remember any of it. Were you dead on that day because you can't remember it? No.

2. Dreamless sleep is a lot more subjective, and it may be just like death. In my opinion it doesn't make sense for the experience of an active brain to be the same as a deactivated one, or a brain split apart. But, we can never know, so I'll leave the subjective rational to the comments.

Hello! Not sure whether this is the right place. Correct me if not. Because of a situation of which I will spare you the details, my 5-person family is holding a tiny memorial to commemorate my father and spread his ashes a few years after his death. Has anyone else done something so small and/belated? Was it meaningful and any advice? AND has anyone spread ashes in the ocean? Do you need a boat or will a surf board do? TIA.

You have a strange feeling - you feel darkness falling upon you. But it's not the usual night darkness that brings nightmares - it's a very calm and peaceful darkness, pure emptiness and nothingness.

The pain goes away. You feel relieved of the suffering. But you don't feel happy for that - you feel hollow.

Your breath feels heavy, But you don't feel like you're struggling. In fact - you notice you aren't breathing anymore.

In the last moments of consciousness you realise what just happened

You are dead.

My friend unalive herself and I want to know what happen after you commit $u!c!d3. Where will you go when your body left your soul?

I miss you, it’s been five years since you were murdered. I could not find them, but Karma will. I love you forever Jen. Your daughter is in college and your son is a successful photographer.

Death No matter what I will die. I understand that but it’s pretty hard to comprehend. Why not do things that you are scared of. I don’t really like my friends or family. Me and Everett are pretty much the only thing my mom has so she would be devastated if I died I don’t know how long that grief would last but her grief is the only reason I have the tiniest fear of it. My friends would get over it in a few months maybe not even that long. If I get older and have kids and a wife then I’ll probably fear it more. I have pretty much wasted my life playing games or just bed rotting. Pain sucks so if I do die I want it to be over quickly by like falling off a radio tower of crashing going 160 on a bike. I’m tired of my life how it is I need to take more risks and if I die Womp womp this sounds really corny but idk. I’m not suicidal I don’t want to die but I going to happen matter what I do I don’t want it to happen while being 90 and pissing on my self while having a stroke I don’t know what will happen to me when I die I don’t know if god is real or if it’s nothing. it’s November 15 2024 3:27am. I’m just jotting this down in my notes app so it’s not a paragraph or anything just my thoughts.

Context, I’ve been told for the past 2 years I have a arrhythmia(Brugada Syndrome) but never had fast heart rate, fainting and seizures. So I am at a trip with friends and my gf and we were playing jackbox games. I had a little alcohol and had a palpitation, so I got up to get some space to breathe but in that instant I fainted. My first time, and my friend and his cousin were giving me cpr and compressions. It all happened in a minute. From what they told me, I just fell backwards and fainted, had no pulse and were shouting my name and calling 911. So from my perspective I was in this pitch black area I could hear my conscious, talking to myself about this pitch blackness. Soon after I heard yelling and light slowly started showing. I thought I was sleeping or dreaming but realized it wasn’t a dream. I started fighting back and I got closer to the light and woke up. In the hospital right now finding out details but I think when I had no pulse I was literally in nothing, felt out of world type of death. Just putting it here wasn’t sure where this experience would go as I was always interested of what happens after death.

????? i don’t even want to talk about it since it just makes my mind race But we’re literally trapped in this body, with thoughts 24/7 Life is so beautiful but at the same time it’s so beautiful that i don’t want to die What is after death? I don’t want to suffer when it’s my time, omg what are the chances i’ll die peacefully in my sleep? What are the chances i’ll be murdered? 😳 What are the chances of simply having some kind of brain aneurysm or heart attack and dropping dead?

it’s 1:30 AM and i can’t sleep because this is all i can think about. yikes

I'm not sure if it was a panic attack or high blood pressure, but my chest hurt me a lot tonight. I'm okay now but I feel like I'm going to die next year of a cardiac issue. My grandma died of a heart attack two years ago with 82. I'm just 23. I want to live, what can I do to live life fully?