I was feeling better, I was feeling happier, but now he is dying and I'm absolutely devastating. I don't know how to make anything's better, everything feels so hopeless sometimes.

I need help and don’t know what to do. I’m up every night having panic attacks. I know that I need a therapist just not sure how to go about that route. Any advice. Also let me say I have had this fear since I was a child and I have had trouble sleeping for the last 5 years I have coping mechanisms but they don’t work all the time.

I have been struggling with death anxiety for almost three years on and off. Two years ago I developed it bad and I got myself to a point where I would convince myself that if I had a good day it was only because I was meant to die the next day. I also was hyper fixated on the idea that I was going to die in a car accident and was absolutely terrified every time I stepped foot in a car. It absolutely dictated my life for months. I started breaking out and losing hair due to the amount of stress it caused me. For awhile after I was fine until this past summer I got a call of a family member dying suddenly from a heart attack. I had a really hard time dealing with this and had death anxiety again for a little but not nearly as bad as last time. Now for the past two months I have had it so severe where I am starting to lose hair again and am having trouble sleeping, except for this time around I am in constant fear of losing my boyfriend. My boyfriend works late and is always out driving back from work around 2am and I am constantly worrying he is going to hit by a drunk driver. I have never been in a car accident I have just always been scared of driving. I haven’t talked to him about it because I don’t want to worry him but I was so worried today that I was extremely affectionate bc I was constantly thinking what if this is the last time I see him. I also looked at his stuff in my room since he is at work and started tearing up even though right now he is totally fine and just working. I hate living like this and I don’t know how to get over it.

Think about it...

New here.

I'm wondering if anyone has discovered where their Thanato comes from? Traumatic events or just out of nowhere? It would help me understand the phobia a bit more.

For myself, i've had the fear that my parents would die since i was a child. I would be fearful and angry going to sleep and having to think about these things. I would often cry.

Nowadays i still struggle with the same thoughts. Although i've tried to turn these thoughts into spending Quality time with my family (mostly).

The fear and mini Panic attacks about ceasing to exist have grotten bigger through getting older. I might read or see something that makes me suddenly think about death and it will make me breathe Faster and be overcome with Panic (not sure if this qualifies as a mini Panic attack). What are your experiences as you've grown older? Where do you think it comes from?

I used we only die when we are old, ever since I grew up and quickly realized that isn’t true, it’s been absolutely mind blowing knowing that we all have the opportunity to be kids but not all of us are blessed enough to get to old age… and even then, there is the old age factor where life starts giving you hints.

I can’t imagine what it must be getting to a certain age where the likely hood of being alive the next year are decreasing rapidly. Just writing this alone put me on edge. My only hope is that I am able to come to better terms with death at some point.

It's just impossible, there's an infinite regress, which is why it's nonsensical.

There is no infinite nothingness after death.

That is for sure.

This is possibly triggering to some people but it really does help me lol.

—the quote—

A denial of death is also a denial of life. The cellular mechanisms which allow life also make death inevitable, essential, and desirable. Have no fear—you have been, and will be, millions of things; all you will suffer is amnesia.

—

I am glad I am alive, even if it means that one day it will end. I would rather live for a thousand years but even if I die tomorrow, I’m happy I got to experience anything at all.

title above. I genuinely don't know what to do??

The very idea that we simply could cease existing to be is an awful thing. Even our loved ones, our oets, just simply not existing. People say "just imagine how things were when you were a baby!" but even then, how can we?

I don't think about it much during the day because I'm focused on everything else, but at night it's unbearable. I can't put it into words, but thinking about the fact that experiencing everything could simply just stop, no matter what, even if you get sick once is...

I don't know. It's hard and I don't know what to do, because this always happens when I try to sleep.

(warning, i talk about my traumatic medical experiences in this post)

i think i finally figured out why my fear of death is so extreme. i always see people compare death to anesthesia, and how its "the most similar thing to death that isnt death" and i think thats why im so scared of it. or atleast one of the reasons.

growing up i had alot of bad medical experiences...long story short i almost died while being born, almost died like a month later, almost died multiple times after that. got alot of forced things onto me growing up, no matter how much i cried or screamed or pushed them they would make me go to sleep. i would try to stay awake as long as possible as they put a mask on me to not fall asleep. it got so bad that before i understood death much i instead developed a huge fear of sleeping because of how it happens without me knowing and how i could fall asleep whenever to the point i would stay up multiple days straight and not sleep until my body forced me to. theres a part of me that wishes i died as a baby so i didnt have to be here now. but thats besides the point

obviously the forever nothing and the fact my time is limited + its unavoidable still terrifies me. (mostly the time is limited part....ugh) but i feel weirdly calmer knowing it may be related to my medical trauma. like, maybe i can actually work through this fear? maybe i can overcome my medical trauma and also overcome my fear of death? it weirdly comforts me. i know this isnt super relatable because not everyone has the same experiences as me but i hope it can comfort someone out there

Hi everyone! So I am looking to add a couple of new moderators to this community. If you are interested, please get in touch with me either through direct messages or modmail.

Some of the moderator duties include:

• Checking the mod queue to review potential rule violations reported by our users or our AutoMod.

• Remove rule breaking content and spam.

• Ban users who are consistently in violation of our rules or who are starting problems within our community (this is uncommon in this community but it does happen).

• Respond to modmail when we get messages from users.

• Help to create a safe and diverse space to facilitate healthy conversations surrounding death and mental health.

• Adding a trigger warning flair when a post that needs one does not have one.

• Locking up threads when the conversation derails and becomes counterproductive.

When you apply for the role, please include any mod experience if applicable and what makes you want to become a moderator for this community. The only requirements is that you have been active in our community in the past and are familiar with how Reddit works.

IMPORTANT NOTE: We are sorting through potentially triggering content on a daily basis, so it is recommended to only apply if you have your own fear of death under control enough to handle the content posted to this community, including the not so helpful stuff.

(i feel like i should preface this post with a warning that I’m writing from a not-so-good place, so if you’re looking for positivity unfortunately I can’t provide that tonight, but some other time I’ll try. Also if you struggle with addiction, this post might not be good for you — love you all)

I’ve been aware of it for a while now, but it’s come to the forefront of my mind recently: alcohol makes me feel better, more consistently than any prescription. I know how problematic that is to say — and having a father as an alcoholic who’s only 3 years sober, I am mortified to be admitting this.

I’m self-aware enough to know that this is not a good path for me to go down. Still, it’s a constant debate in my mind — to drink and feel better or to be sober but miserable — and I feel like I need to tell someone. This is post is more of an expression than anything else, but I’m open to suggestions. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I do not intend to promote this as a viable coping mechanism — I think my genetics and mental illnesses are all bouncing off of each other recently.

It sounds cliche, but I genuinely feel less anxious, more excited about life, more myself, when I’m drunk. Not so drunk that I’m blacking out, but definitely more than a couple drinks in. I don’t care about death or illness; I’m content with myself and whatever may happen as long as I’ve had a few drinks.

It bothers me that drinking is more effective than any medication I’ve been prescribed. I don’t want this. What kind of person am I, what kind of world do I live in where something so horrible makes me feel better? But when you find something that helps, even if it’s not healthy in other ways, it’s really hard to resist.

I’m trying to avoid succumbing to my family’s history with alcoholism. I’ve been on medications for my GAD/Panic/Phobia since I was in elementary school, and I’ve been to countless therapists and psychiatrists. I know better. But here I am. Rhetorically, why is this happening?

Having a 3am panic attack before work. I’m scrolling through this forum and all the comforting posts. I looked at the profiles of the people who have posted, feeling similarly to how I do now. And nobody is dead. Everyone’s still posting. Nobody put a vent post up on r/thanatophobia then dropped dead and left a ghost account. We all have survived our panic attacks and they did not conjure death. Telling myself this at least. I will wake up tomorrow and see this post again. I am going to wake up tomorrow. A healthy 23 year old will not die in their sleep for no reason. I will see you all tomorrow. I will wake up

Edit: I woke up :) I took my 100mg zoloft for the first time in 6 months. Maybe it helped, maybe it’s a placebo. But I woke up and the world continued past my panic attack

Yesterday I got the news my uncle passed away. Before, I had went to use a charger in my dads room and a book fell from his nightstand, I cant stop thinking about death- and how every "sign" after death is just wishful thinking. When that book fell I thought "if someone had died, I would've known, and thought that book was a sign from the afterlife...its all so fake". Afterwards a picture (that has fallen before, years pior) fell off my bedroom wall and I thought the same thing: "because their family members are sick, they think about their death and assume they've predicted it when it's just worrying". I went to eat after dinner and my mom got a call that my uncle had suddenly passed in a accident.

I feel like I was born to be skeptic, a scientist, and a materialist. It's a curse, I want to be religious. Anything but a skeptic- when I was young I read ghost stories and tried to do magic, and even as young as 7 I had thoughts about "there's probably a scientific explanation for this". I was raised religious, what happened to me? My life is ruined after I had a passion for science, the truth ruined me and I'll never go back. I want to be delusional and believe I'll see my uncle so I could ask him, why. Why did he do that?

Maybe I post too much here but after his death I've never been the same. If there isn't anything beyond he wouldn't know about how I feel.. I miss him so much.

I’ve now gotten to the point where I’m not spiralling and ruminating as much, but when ever I hear some say “life is short” or “life moves quickly” it makes me feel like I will be dead tomorrow. I know people say these things to help people live life to the fullest but it doesn’t help me. It just reminds how much I’m not in control and how I’ll never do everything I want in life. I’malready starting to notice time moving more quickly as I age and it’s been really difficult to deal with.

i'm a recovered thanatophobia sufferer who had reached acceptance but it backfired on me. now i feel extremely suicidal and even a single mistake makes me want to kill myself. thanatophobia is such a nightmare even if it's not hurting you anymore, i'm suffering everyday because of the aftermath. please help.

i hate how my body will die someday. it scares me so much. i dont feel like im supposed to be a human or on this earth at all. i feel like im supposed to be some sort of creature that humans cant even think of that lives in a completely different universe. i feel like im never supposed to die. i feel like im supposed to be an animal. i dont want to be a human. i hate being a human. humans are awful and i hate how death is "natural" i dont feel like it is in my world....i feel like death is something you can optionally do in my world...im stuck in a human body :( help

When i think about it, it’s actually scary, like what do you mean by the fact i’ll die someday? What do you mean by i won’t see my family, friends ever again?

I overthink about it alot, even tho i’m just a teenager. You can tell me that i have so many time left, and i have no reason to be worried about dying, but that won’t make me any better

I am suffering. I’m 29 and I’ve gone through this before. I had a couple phases in my early twenties when I was petrified about death but I got through it for the most part. It never really went away totally. Whenever I’ve heard about someone dying, it can come up again but gladly, just for a minute or so, then I’d move on. But my thanatophobia is back and it’s worse than ever.

My dog got put down a little over a few weeks ago, while I was on vacation. My other family members were there. I loved and still love her so so much. She was so full of life. She was old and not enjoying life anymore, but regardless, the physical absence is just devastating.

At first, I was just so sad about her not being there. But then, the question of “where is she?” really started to take over. I wrote her a letter hoping she’d hear me. I asked “if you can, please help heal my heart. Give me strength.” And then I was so at peace because I felt it in my heart that she did. But being the skeptic, I would just think “who am I kidding? It just can’t be true.” But why can’t I just trust what I see as potential signs from my loved ones who have passed? Is it all in my head or is it real?

I watched a video last Thursday, an interview with Richard Dawkins on a talk show, about the subject. And I just shouldn’t have. It was the worst thing I could’ve done to myself. It was the ultimate trigger and every day since then has been an absolute nightmare. Why do people like him have to exist? It’s just not fair.

I’m not only mourning the loss of my beloved dog, but also going through some serious existential dread or crisis, and I’m losing my mind and driving myself nuts, asking the questions about why we’re here. I am very freaked out and feeling tortured by both my brain and my heart. I don’t know if I can believe that all of this, happened by accident. But just, what if, what if it did? What would be the point of anything or doing anything?

Ugh. I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore. The fear of death is scaring me to death. Pun intended. I need to get past this for the life of me. Pun intended.

The fact that we will all die is a horrifyingly wrong disease!

The Mark Twain quote does not help. Maybe for a second but not if you REALLY stop to think about it.

And the reason this is devastating and creeping the hell out of me now and is worse than ever, is because I have been through a lot of psychological and emotional trauma before, but now that I have an amazing boyfriend who I see a bright and beautiful future with, two beautiful baby nieces, and hopefully life’s just going to get better. I’ve always dreamt of being a good writer and I’m even looking at this as inspiration, but Oh. My. Freaking. God. I am a human being with one life on Earth, just like everyone else. I can’t believe it. It’s such a gift. I love the fact that I’m here. I love life. But say, the worst is true, this fear can get so debilitating, I’m wishing I was never born in the first place.

I’m eating differently. I’ve been having more trouble getting to sleep. I can’t focus. I’m worried I’m literally losing my memory and mind altogether. It’s quiet here at work today and I’m always worrying that someone is going to just come in and kill me. And if it did happen, what would happen next?

I’ve always had anxiety and depression and I also think I have OCD and/or ADHD. I cannot stop thinking. How do I stop the thoughts? I cannot get rid of them. This is just terrible. I’m paralyzed with fear.

It does bring me comfort that I am not alone, and all of us human beings are in the same boat. But even that just doesn’t seem like enough, you know. The only two people who know about what I’m going through right now are my boyfriend and my mom. They’re both loving, comforting and supportive, and it helps but in another way, it makes it worse.

Does anyone have any tips and strategies about how to make this better and beat this once and for all? I can’t live like this. It’s sucking the fun and joy out of every moment, and I’m struggling to enjoy life. Please help if you can.

Recently, my sister had her first baby and she is absolutely happy now and I am cheered up when I see her son. But at the same time, thought hits me...

I have some vague memories from when I was a toddler and in retrospect, it all felt like a fever dream and then I just, got conscious. That gave me a terrible thought that this will be afterlife, life all over again in a perpetual cycle, without means to escape. That thought is absolutely terrifying since I dont want to die and then wake up again some time later as someone else.

At the same time, I dislike any idea of the afterlife, even the perpetual nothingness...

I have had thanatophobia and panic attacks since about 2019 and I thought therapy helped me but ot came back.

I dealt with crippling death anxiety my whole life. No ideas, reading, techniques, etc. ever worked for me. But after learning how to do Dzogchen meditation, I now view death as impossible because I gained direct experience in that which can never die.

Dzogchen is considered the final stage of meditation in Tibetan Buddhism. The practice aims at getting you to rest in unconditioned awareness, the underlying awareness you possess which comes before your body and mind. By releasing all grasping, the realization (called rigpa) suddenly emerges, and you rest in your true nature, which is a disembodied blissful state of pristine light. This practice is viewed by many as being similar to near death or death experience, except you get to rest in it whenever you want and "practice" being in your disembodied state. The Tibetan Buddhists think that practitioners who have refined their Dzogchen practice will be able to navigate the death bardo (the "void" place you go to at death) to move yourself to more desirable places (to unify with existence or reincarnate in a better life) because the practitioner has "died" many times already and knows exactly what to do. I highly recommend seeking out teachers and learning material on this practice. It will make you feel invincible because you recognize what is in you that cannot die. Not many teachers make their lessons publicly available, but Lama Lena has instructions on the meditation on YouTube. This is a very difficult meditation to do, and often takes years of practice with easier meditations, but some people with high innate ability may learn how to do it within a short period of time and without lesser meditations. Good luck!

Hello everyone! I am conducting a research study on grief and death anxiety and I was wondering if anyone could please take this survey. It is completely anonymous and you can stop the survey at anytime. I’m conducting the survey with my research partner and we would really appreciate it if we could get some participants. It is solely for academic research. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Hey guys, I'm new here!

I just wanted to say that lately for the past 2 months, I developed Thanatophobia due to panic attacks. These past two months have been mental hell for me, and it all started because of a panic attack due to accidental chemical inhalation and it just escalated from there. Since then, I've developed Depersonalization Derealization Disorder, Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Cardiophobia, Thanatophobia, Agoraphobia, and Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease. It has been a huge nightmare for me, and I am suffering mentally and physically. I've been in and out of the ER SO MUCH these past two months and I feel like I am going crazy sometimes.

Death is constantly on my mind, unfortunately, even though back then it really wasn't there. Every time I have a panic attack, which is now every single day and multiple times throughout the day sometimes + nocturnal panic attacks, I always think I am going to die even though logically, I know I i can't die from a panic attack. Whenever I am disassociated mentally, my brain makes me believe that I am already dead, dreaming, or that I am going to drop dead throughout the day. Worst of all, I've developed some sort of fear of night time and sleeping.

Any time the sun sets, my anxiety is through the roof and I am disassociated like crazy. It triggers panic attacks sometimes, but mainly triggers my health anxiety, cardiophobia, and thanatophobia. I stay up somewhat late because I am so convinced that if I fall asleep, I am going to die. I feel like this every. Single. Day. This fear of sleeping also triggers my nocturnal panic attacks, so even if I am sleeping peacefully, I jolt up all of a sudden having a panic attack. It's a vicious cycle I deal with daily, and it is extremely debilitating. I have to feel validated and be reassured every single night that I am NOT going to die in my sleep, so I've resorted to calling friends and falling asleep on the phone with them every night. Any time I fall asleep without that, I have a nocturnal panic attack and wake up so terrified because I believe that I am in the process of dying.

Additionally, I've also noticed that I have a fear of keeping my eyes closed, especially for a prolonged period if time. I don't know why, but I believe that my brain is convinced that if I keep my eyes closed long enough, I'll die. That my soul is leaving my body and transitioning into the afterlife, whatever that may look like, and that opening my eyes back up means that I am back in my body. It's like having my eyes closed makes me feel disconnected from my body, which in turn makes me disassociate. I feel the same way whenever I close my eyes to go to sleep, so I just stay awake until I knock out naturally from sleepiness.

My question to you all is if you've ever felt a fear of going to sleep before? Have you ever felt a fear of keeping your eyes closed? Do you feel similarly? Any advice on how to relax before falling asleep, or on how to get it off my mind and force myself to fall asleep? Maybe some advice on how to stop feeling so disconnected from my body while my eyes are closed?

I never thought I'd get to this point in my life, but this is my life now - I have to accept it. I feel like every day I am surviving instead of living, which sucks because I know that life isn't supposed to be that way.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you, love and appreciate you so much! 💗

Have any of you actually found any relief from this? I can’t keep doing it.

i have a really big fear of death (especially what comes after) and just had a big crisis about it. thankfully im coming out of it now (no advice, sorry) and i know that i deserve to die earlier than alot of people usually do. i dont deserve to have any happy moments in my life or have friends or anything. i abused someone and ruined their whole life and traumatized them. how do i get over this stupid fear and kill myself so i cant hurt anyone anymore? the thought of being lonely my whole life is so scary too but i guess thats what i deserve as well. any advice is appreciated. thank you

The other night I had a nightmare which in turn led me to the thought of what happens after we die. I’ve always been aware that death is the end and it’s always scared me but never to this extent. At this point I am paralysed in fear and in a constant state of panic. My panic attacks can also get so bad that I go almost catatonic with fear. I’m now so petrified that I can no longer keep anything down and feeling nauseous all the time. I’m also not able to go to sleep as every time I close my eyes the thoughts come racing back and I get into extreme panic attacks. My partner and family are trying to help me as best they can but nothing is working as I look at them and my dogs and get even more wound up knowing that eventually will loose them all and not remember anything. I don’t want to die, I love the people around me and the thought of not having them around or not knowing of their existence or mine is not something I can live with. I have tried looking up what people have experienced once they have died and various other opinions on death but I can’t get over what I believe to be the nothingness, like before I was born. I know I won’t be aware I’m dead but that doesn’t help in the slightest. I have been put on benzodiazepine for short term help but have been told to seek therapy but I truly don’t believe it will help as no one can change the fact that I and everyone I love will die. Please help, I can’t keep living like this.

First off, hi! I've never posted here before because up until about a week ago I didn't even know this phobia had a name.

Without wanting to give you all my life story, I've had this fear on and off for about 11 years (I'm 21) but it's recently reared its ugly head again after I went to my first ever funeral last week. I've decided to try and combat this head on by seeking therapy and trying to actually confront my fear/get a more holistic perspective on things. Wish me luck guys :)

What I'm trying to do at the moment is shift my emotions from fear to curiosity - who knows what will happen when we're gone? No one does, so I'm trying to frame it as some kind of adventure in my head. Likewise, I've never believed in god but there's a reason I've always described myself as agnostic and NOT atheist. We literally don't know, even the most famous, highly-respected intellectuals who talk about their opinions as if they were fact, have absolutely no idea. In short, curiosity is the goal for me

It hits me at random times. I panic and gag a lot. I’m so jealous of people who don’t have this crippling anxiety. I go through the panic daily and the gagging/nausea because of panic weekly at this point. I wish I could feel relief.