/r/cleandadjokes

Photograph via snooOG

For the stereotypical corny dad jokes you can tell your 5 year old.

For the stereotypical corny dad jokes you can tell your 5 year old.

/r/cleandadjokes

30,491 Subscribers

0

I saw a police car and the cop was obviously drunk but that’s ok because…

…it said on the car “to protect and to swerve.”

0 Comments
2024/12/02
01:06 UTC

11

What was the name of that frog who parked in front of the fire department driveway?

Toad

0 Comments
2024/12/01
23:19 UTC

44

How did the mathematician support farming?

Being protractor.

4 Comments
2024/12/01
17:07 UTC

22

I wanted to buy some sausages on Black Friday….

but the link is broken…….

6 Comments
2024/12/01
14:01 UTC

25

Why is the number 1 always alone?

Because it is the only one

10 Comments
2024/12/01
13:17 UTC

55

My automated teller machine (ATM) must be on drugs.

It’s suffering from withdrawals.

5 Comments
2024/12/01
08:42 UTC

7

Looking for source of joke…

Having trouble finding the source of this joke, thought it may be an Abbott and Costello bit, but not finding it. It’s something to the effect that somebody asks somebody else for a tip meaning monetary compensation, but the other person says here’s a tip choke up on the bat.

Not sure where this is from or why I remember it for all I know I may have made it up.

13 Comments
2024/12/01
05:57 UTC

16

Why do the librarians love going to the movies?

Because they are great at booking the seats

4 Comments
2024/11/30
18:16 UTC

111

Why did the turkey get detention at school?

They were heard using “fowl” language…

9 Comments
2024/11/30
15:36 UTC

36

Did you hear that someone actually made it through the impossible mountain pass?

Snow way!

7 Comments
2024/11/30
14:03 UTC

0

What did the bartender in a saloon in Gettysburg say to the Confederate soldiers that walked in?

Your money is no good in this town.

0 Comments
2024/11/30
11:53 UTC

18

never spell suoregnad backwards

it’s really dangerous

3 Comments
2024/11/30
11:49 UTC

139

I hurt myself digging for gold.

Fortunately, it was a miner injury.

18 Comments
2024/11/30
08:09 UTC

21

Why didn’t the well get to the party?

It didn’t finish today’s bucket list

6 Comments
2024/11/30
03:37 UTC

6

The recipe said remove the steak from the refrigerator and allow it to reach room temperature..

Which according to my wife is either freezing cold or way too hot in here.

1 Comment
2024/11/30
01:49 UTC

37

Did you know bread is on sale for Black Friday?

It doesn't cost a lot of dough…..

13 Comments
2024/11/30
00:48 UTC

41

Why has the bicycle fallen down?

It really was two tired

7 Comments
2024/11/29
21:39 UTC

16

how do cells communicate each other?

They use cell phones.the best part? they never ran out of electrons for charging truly a very impressive phone for a protontype

6 Comments
2024/11/29
20:18 UTC

47

Why are there so few vampires in business?

Too many stakeholders!

2 Comments
2024/11/29
11:17 UTC

317

What do you call a moose without a name?

Anonymoose.

34 Comments
2024/11/29
01:26 UTC

47

What did the turkey have for dessert?

Peach gobbler

5 Comments
2024/11/28
21:14 UTC

113

What sound does a dizzy turkey make?

Wobble, wobble, wobble

2 Comments
2024/11/28
16:23 UTC

106

I went to my first silent auction last night.

I came home with two dog whistles and a mime.

7 Comments
2024/11/28
15:01 UTC

107

I fell down the stairs wearing my new slippers.

I guess they work.

3 Comments
2024/11/28
14:25 UTC

95

What do you call a laundromat for pigs?

Hogwash

15 Comments
2024/11/28
08:38 UTC

25

Did you know all bees come from Tahiti?

Yeah, they’re Pollen-eatin.

2 Comments
2024/11/28
03:46 UTC

42

What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?

A Cinnabone…

12 Comments
2024/11/28
03:18 UTC

64

Knock knock! Who’s there? The. The Who?

The Who? I’d call that a bargain… the best I ever had!

19 Comments
2024/11/28
01:40 UTC

11

Which US state is respectfully trying to understand the motive of a Chinese dynasty?

Wyoming

1 Comment
2024/11/27
14:43 UTC

59

Which US state is surprised to see you and continues to act perplexed?

Ohio

5 Comments
2024/11/27
14:25 UTC

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