She kept running away from the ball

A stick

A carrot

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

(Shamelessly stolen from the net)

She was found guilty of resisting a rest

So I read a top ten list of the best puns of 2023, hoping they might make me feel better...

I'm still feeling down, no pun in ten did.

He became a saucerer

Toad

It's thinly sliced cabbage.

Pilgrims

They're all anti-test-ers

Hill-arious

Me: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

... And this knife I found. (Brutus to Julius)

It must’ve tripped over a tangled thread of comments… or a pile of recycled posts.

Wife: My stomach feels odd

Me: Here, let mine be next to it.

Wife: Why?

Me: Now it’s even

Like, if the police were to pound on your door and go, "A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest," should you be like, "Moi? Oh, do go on."?

I call that reintarnation.

Interviewer: What is your biggest weakness?

Candidate: I can be uncooperative.

Interviewer: Okay, can you give me an example?

Candidate: No.

Dave: I’ve already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Eric: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

That’s why I carry two swords.

It’s because they don’t want their judgement to be clouded.

Dave: Change is inedible

Eric: Don’t you mean inevitable?

Dave, spitting out coins: No, I did not

… and pulled a mussel.

If you don’t know, you should stop talking to your pickle!

I'm pretty drained.

You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.

But a dino might.

Thanks dad 😅

I plan on sticking to it.

... is tasteless.