Is being called "wife material" a positive appreciation or a negative label?

I've been thinking about the phrase "wife material" and wanted to get some opinions. When someone is described this way, is it typically seen as a positive compliment or could it be viewed as placing a limiting or traditional expectation on women? On one hand, it could be a sign of admiration, suggesting someone is seen as caring, dependable, or responsible. On the other hand, does it reinforce outdated gender roles and suggest that a woman's worth is tied to her potential as a wife? I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you view this term as flattering, problematic, or maybe a bit of both.

Hello, I'm thinking of starting a reading group with a few of my friends, and I think we would all like to read mainly feminist theory. I'm wondering if there's any super basics books or even articles that would be a good starting point. I have a few books and authors on my to read list but again, I mostly don't know where to start or in what order to progress with our readings. Any kind of feminist theory is welcome, if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know :) thanks to anyone who helps out!

Today on Bumble a 42yo "liberal" "feminist" who "wants kids" and makes a performative prompt of "if he wanted just sex he'd use Tinder".

Well... given the Pelicot trial and the fact that a vigilante group in Germany has found 70,000 German based men so far in Telegram groups which share tactics on Pelicot like SA... I've recently been asking this question in chat especially profiles prompting as feminist. Excuse me - I try to stay safe.

Answers range from defense / not all men (block) to decent lists of chivalry and good awareness such as not walking behind women at night (C Pass) to allies who are saying they call out men and attend protests etc (top tier I'll continue the chat).

Never has someone processed with their mind this answer, written it down and pressed send. Where he's trying to impress. Effectively, he chooses not to rape women. That's his bar.

Report?

I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a block with stuff to read/watch/listen to about feminism. I really want to get deeper into different types of feminist theory and just to read/listen to some really interesting discourse surrounding feminism. Also ones that give some pretty sound advice on navigating this world as a feminist. Big emphasis on intersectionality too!

If anyone has a books, podcasts, YouTube channels etc to recommend that would be great.

Anyone else gets annoyed whenever there is a discussion on feminist topics and That one man comes and says something like "As a man..." to communicate that even he's a guy, he agrees with a feminist point. Like why do you think you being a man changes anything in the discussion? Do you want praise? Obviously sometimes it does matter but more often than not it literally doesn't change anything if a statement was made by a man or a woman. I swear they say it because they feel it gives them credibility, that they're not an "angry irrational woman" but an objective man lol.

Wow. Just watched this movie. And not only was it brilliant and beautiful but it nearly perfectly demonstrates the patriarchy. Does anyone agree?

Hi all! I am looking to collect data for my dissertation about teachers' perspectives and classroom interventions regarding girls with ADHD. If you have 5 minutes  spare I would be very grateful if you could please fill out this survey https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=MH_ksn3NTkql2rGM8aQVGzbUGRJ1NUpEtEygVEg4ektUMDZDMkhKQUlHWU82V1BGRzAzODFETUIzQS4u . Thank you so much in advance to anyone who helps me out!

2nd date with a weird guy who I wanted to give a second chance. things were going…ok… until I saw a middle aged man who appeared to be videoing a booth of a young mother and 2-3 little girls. I pointed it out to my date who just shrugged and said, “oh well. At least he’ll have a good video to jack off to later”. Just completely unbothered and not creeped out. He then proceeded to say “when you think about it, women nowadays should really be thrilled and jumping with joy that they’re born in the 21st century and pedophilia and all that is much less common.” To which (as someone who had been raped and sexually assaulted more than a few times) my response was complete shock and flabbergastion. All I could really verbalize at the time was that I felt like he has little to no understanding of the experience of being a woman. He countered that with, “c’mon, isn’t it amazing having men lust after you all the time?” This fucking guy was so clueless I felt like other patrons of the restaurant started listening in to see who the fuck thought this was good date conversation. I’ve had bad dates but this was the one time I almost fucking walked out. I was able to try and explain to him how fucking stupid that statement was, but he just dug himself deeper arguing about the roles of men (strong bread winners) and women (gentle and beautiful) in society. There were three dudes in the booth next to us that looked mortified on his account. I also think some Good Samaritan got the waiter to bring the tab when this conversation started up.

Other date Highlites include:

• calling his mother “the ideal feminist” because she the took over running the construction company that his dad started (although she didn’t have any feminist values).
• calling me a liar (jokingly, somewhat) when I said I didn’t care about a man’s ability to make money and I only cared about them being a good person. He finally shut up when I told him I have actually dated a homeless man.

-everyone has masculine and feminine parts of their personality that has to be balanced 50/50, MTF trans individuals just don’t know how to balance that and go overboard. -being somewhat obsessive about men having callouses on their hands and women having smooth hands unscathed by labor, and then repeatedly mansplaining what a metaphor was.

I payed for lunch and got the FUCK out of there. You best believe that me paying for lunch also threw him for a loop.

At first, the bill sounds like it will be a good thing for women because it states that there will be health clinics all around America that will “set the standard for women’s health.” However, if you look further into the bill, you will see a quote from Donna Harrison, the Executive Director of the American Association for Pro-Life. So what does this all mean? Overall, the bill seems to suggest that it will be beneficial for women, but the people supporting this bill are what makes it significant. If this bill becomes law, it will enforce the pro-life agenda, potentially making abortion illegal everywhere and denying women their bodily rights. Women all around America will be denied abortions, and those who are raped will be forced to carry an unwanted child. Women who cannot have children or whose bodies may fail them will be compelled to have a child they do not want, suffering the consequences imposed by the government. Children placed in horrible circumstances will be forced to give birth to other children because our government mandates it. More and more kids will end up in the hands of the government because their mothers had no choice but to put them up for adoption. This bill is not pro-woman; it is pro-life and serves the government's needs for more workers. They are stripping away our rights in America. We do not live in a democracy anymore; we are in an oligarchy.

I am a student in uni, and I am currently studying IT.

The thing is, I wanna do events and stuff for my IT girlies to like encourage them to join IT cuz the amount of women who's studying are significantly low.

Do suggest me any ideas for events under clubs and stuff ;))))

Thank you and love y'all!!! 💗

Host on a podcast mentioned her, they were discussing the beauty ritual that is patriarchy. How if every woman stopped buying beauty and beauty related products that almost all countries economies would tank.

Host said at the end of one of her poems is this line: Thank you for making us invisible, because that way, you’ll never see us coming.

I haven’t found that poem yet, but reading through others of hers… hot damn did I just find a new heroine

https://www.nailedmagazine.com/features/poetry-suite-olivia-gatwood

Being born a girl in a family that desperately wanted a boy was like starting life with a "not good enough" stamp. My parents tried everything to ensure I’d be a boy, but guess what? I turned out to be a fierce, fiery woman instead. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve come to believe that my purpose in life is to smash every ounce of prejudice against women and show young girls how much more they’re capable of—because nothing and nobody should hold them back.

The reality is, women face countless struggles, big and small. Some are imposed by society, some we observe and internalize, and others we’re outright forced into. From a young age, girls are conditioned to avoid danger rather than conquer it. “Don’t do this,” “don’t go there,” “stay quiet,” “be safe.” It’s like society builds a wall around us before we even figure out who we are.

And then there are the roles we’re expected to play—mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, colleague, homemaker—the list never ends. Somewhere in between, we’re supposed to squeeze in time for a career, ambitions, or even a moment to just breathe. But let’s be real, when do we ever get to think about ourselves without being called selfish?

If you chase your career, you’re “neglecting your family.” If you choose not to, you’re “lazy” and “lacking ambition.” It’s a frustrating, endless contradiction that every woman faces. And I’ve had enough of internalizing these frustrations.

That’s why I decided to start speaking out. To channel this into content. To create a community where we can all feel seen, heard, and validated. Because I know I’m not alone in this, and neither are you. Together, we can connect over these shared struggles, recognize the toxicity we’ve been taught to accept, and figure out how to protect ourselves from it.

In this busy, isolating world, nobody has time to listen to a woman rant about her frustrations. But let me tell you—we need to talk about this stuff. These are not just “girl problems.” They’re real, concrete issues that deserve attention and change.

So if you’ve ever felt the same way, or just need a place to vent, learn, or connect, join me on my journey with my page, Voices of Strength (@voices.of.strength_ on IG). Let’s bash this patriarchal nonsense together and show the world just how strong we are.

Just as the title says. Genderdiverse people...trans men, trans women, and any and all gender identities falling under/outside the non-bianry spectrum are the answer the problem that is the patriarchy.

Feminism needs these life experiences and feminists of ALL types should prop up and support all of those groups of people because they are proof positive that the patriarchy is based in bullshit lies and untrue biological misconceptions. It is the end all be all key to tearing down the patriarchy. Feminism NEEDS genderdiverse people in order to finally win out in the fight for equality.

For the non-terfry feminists reading this, I realize this is a "no shit sherlock" situation...but not all people claiming to be feminists (you aren't if you're a terf/terf adjacent fyi) will have that reaction.

So...that's all I wanted to point out.

So if you are claiming to be a feminist but the thought of a trans woman coming into "your" bathroom enrages you, or you think non-bianry people "aren't valid genders", or trans men are just "transing their way out of oppression"...just know you are punching yourself in the face and every cis woman on the planet for that matter because:

*No argument you try to make under the guise of "fighting for women" doesn't throw cis women under the bus with the trans people you throw under there.

*You need these gender diverse people to prove that what you were born with between your legs doesn't determine WHO you are as a person. And in fact, you are carrying water for the patriarchy if you invalidated/attack trans lives and people.

*Bioesstialism is literally what the patriarchy is built upon and it is also what terfs practice when attacking genderdiverse people. See point two: carrying water for the patriarchy.

*And lastly...you should absolutely LOVE the idea that someone is bucking the system you claim to want to tear down just by simply existing...and that should make you want to support their existence (in fervor) rather than try to erase it.

Just wanted to share this reminder because terfdom is still a problem and still needs to be fought every bit as hard as any other fight within the patriarchy and society at large. And the upcoming (continued and worsening) attacks on gender/sex are going to hurt cis people as well as trans people and it is past time for all of us to join forces and fight like our lives depend on it, because they damn sure do. Good day, everyone.

Edit: first, I want to say (not that I should have to) I am AFAB non-binary who is also disabled (at 30, I am 42 now) as well as perceived as a woman by every single person except a close few in my life because I can't afford to present androgynous, like I would like to, because being disabled, and especially female and disabled, in this country (the U.S.) is an absolute thunderdome of poverty, and I grew up incredibly impoverished, but not as impoverished as I am now. I experience and have experienced ALL (at least in the U.S.)of the things women go through in the patriarchy. *Child SA for most of my childhood *rape by partners later *abuse of all kinds by partners *pay gap and work place sexism/sexual assault *medical misogyny to a degree it has put short limit on my lifespan and I will die very early leaving my child without me, the only parent that is there for them *forced into gender roles as a child as well as an adult *the misogyny in childbirth that not only left me with life long debilitating issues but I lost pieces of my vulva, the damage was so severe *and speaking of that, I also had vulva cancer last year, when I had more pieces of my vulva removed because the scientific research behind female medical care, including cancer, is fucking barbaric *as well as all of the other microaggressions such as not being listened to (literally ever by anyone), not being believed, and not being taken seriously as a person *name it, I've dealt with it and lived with it for my entire life. Plus I am autistic and adhd so an extra special dose of misogyny comes with that.

All that being said...I know the patriarchy is more than about gender. I've lived (still viewed as mostly as a masc woman) as a woman for most of my life. Even though I am not. These things do not ONLY happen to cis women. Half of what I said also happens to trans women and many other genderdiverse people.

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on what I was saying.

I said THE answer when what I meant was AN answer. And by answer I meant that when the patriarchy tries to reduce US (afab people of ALL genders as well as anyone presenting and existing as a woman) as less than and look at us based on presumed biology (because even cis women do not fit into the stupid box of "female biology")...genderdiverse people are proof that sex/gender boxes are stupid/archaic/not based in scientific thought and the fact that we exist is a net positive for feminists and the fight against the patriarchy.

Because...and here is a hard pill for some to swallow...sex and the way we describe it and sort it into two boxes came along in science AFTER we had already made up the gender sorting system. And current scientific research is showing that the sex binary (meaning male/female in our strict terms and everyone else a "mistake in biology") may be way more complicated than just two categories. Turns out at least 2% of the population would be considered intersex if they had the testing done. That is a lot people of the population of 8 billion people. Most people don't know it because we don't do genetic testing on people unless there is something wrong. I think we should do it like we figure out blood type and such. It would be absolutely invaluable to humanity, I think.

Anyway, I am disappointed at the rigid and defensive stance a lot of people took with my post.

Maybe I worded things a bit rigid too, for my part, I am sorry.

My main reason for the post is that the genderdiversity fight against the patriarchy should be hand in hand with the fight cis women are having with the patriarchy because our destinies are intrinsically linked together on all things patriarchal. We should ally and fight like hell.

I really hope that everyone will at least consider how important the two fights are and how incredibly linked both are in the fight for gender/sex equality.

For the trans/genderdiverse people getting hate in the comments, I see you. I'm sorry my post brought out the hateful people. Thank you for defending my position in the comments and I hope you are taking care of yourself.

As for the straight up TERFs in the comments...kick rocks. Your behavior is regressive and last checked against the rules of the sub...but maybe that doesn't apply when hating on genderdiverse people. Idk, but stop being so reactionary and reducing women to their biology and organs, you sound like a shill for the patriarchy. You're angry at the patriarchy...stop taking it out on genderdiverse people...also not all trans people have a penis. Jfc, afab people with periods and children are fucking trans or genderdiverse too. Think bigger and less personal to your own experiences.

STEM is often seen as neutral, but systems like white supremacy and patriarchy have a vast impact on all aspects of the world. How do you see social issues playing a role in STEM, and what changes do you think are necessary?

What do you think? Is it time?

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/17/politics/joe-biden-equal-right-amendment/index.html

Just rewatched "Unorthodox" on NETFLIX. Can't get over how compelling it was, and how riveting and exceptional lead actress Shira Haas' performance was.

Truly worth a watch, and feminist to its core.

Hi all, I’m looking for Houston based feminist groups to join. I’ve searched around online and come up with nothing. With the looming TikTok ban I think we need community more than ever. Let me know if anyone knows anything.

Hi friends! If you are in the U.S , you may have heard Women's March is hosting nationwide marches--with the biggest one in D.C.--on Saturday 18 JAN to show solidarity before Trump (misogynistic, racist, sexually abusing nightmare that he is) takes office on Monday.

If you plan to attend, can you please share your sign ideas? I have a lot of signs from past rallies and might make another one, but frankly, the anti-woman situation on our country is so awful right now that it's difficult to choose