/r/exredpill
For former redpillers and others who recognize the damage caused by redpill.
If you are brigading from another subreddit you will be banned.
ExRedPill is a space for those who understand The Red Pill (or RedPillWomen) has caused more pain than gain in their lives, and want to share their experiences and/or find healthy dating advice.
The rules of this subreddit are heavily enforced. Breaking the rules below will result in permanent ban from the sub. Text posts are encouraged, and links must include a submission statement.
Rules
Here you can find resources on how to change the way you think about yourself, men, women and relationships. You can also share and discuss stories about how you realized your thought processes were problematic.
Please be respectful to one another and try to act like adults.
NO RESEARCH POSTS.
Posts from accounts less than 5 days old will be removed by automoderator.
Useful Links
Men's Issues
Fitness
Relationships/Dating
Good Posts/Books
How to win friends and influence people
How to talk to anyone: 92 little tricks to big success at relationships
/r/exredpill
Saw this story on internet:
"Hey, guys. Never take your Dominican wife to the USA. I was married to this woman for almost 7 years and she arrived here on a permanent visa in March. I examined her like crazy and waited 2 years to marry her. 2 weeks ago, she decided she couldn't be with me anymore and left my house. She does not want to discuss why she did it. Be careful with these women, they will play the game in the long run. I just play so that the other guys don't fall for it. You're a king in the DR or any other Latin country, you're just an ordinary guy in the United States. She never needed anything, I have a house in the DR and here in the United States. She just thought she could find better options and do better than me. So guys, retire in the DR, open a business in the DR, work there, but NEVER TAKE THEM TO THE USA. I'm not saying that all women are like that, but always be careful."
If theres one thing that I hate in the redpill movement is the passport bros, so anytime I read stories like this I'm really glad. There's nothing more disgusting and more predatory than these guys, and the worst thing is they dont even realize what they're doing
Is this something worth worrying about? Is it even real? Blown out of proportion?
Hey! Hope everyone is ok. I'm a journalist writing an article for Dazed about growing numbers of young men seeking testosterone therapy (often unnecessarily). If you've unnecessarily worried about your T levels after watching/reading content from 'manosphere' influencers online, please drop me a message - can be anon if you prefer! Thanks.
Last year for Christmas my brother asked me for a Jordan Petersen book. My brother is a bit of a gymbro, plus he has an intellectual disability and has never had a girlfriend, he is in his late 30s and is living on his own. He's just ripe for redpilling, if he hasn't been already. I'd like to head it off at the pass. He likes self help books, he's already read Atomic Habits and How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Can anyone recommend an easy to read self help book in a similar vein to JP BUT without the misogyny?
Happy (belated) international men's day! Earlier there was a post on the offmychest sub titled "Men Don't Care About Men" (go read it if you haven't) and it got me thinking about men's issues and how us guys respond to them. The tl;dr is that we don't. In fact, the "men's rights" movement - the largest men's advocacy movement - is used as nothing more than a bad-faith rhetorical tactic to put down women and feminists, and it has done nothing for men because no one in the movement takes men's issues seriously.
For starters, when do you hear these guys talk about our issues outside of trying to score points against progressives?? As a guy I've never heard them talk about the loneliness epidemic, suicide rates, the draft, male SA, etc. just for their own sake. It's always in the context of "see feminists??? men have problems too so stfu!!1!" or "why should i bother caring about your problems when you do nothing to solve mine???" That last point really fucking annoys me. Plenty of progressives have talked about male issues and advocated for men. What these men really want is to be the center of attention in those spaces and have everyone else do the work of men's advocacy for them, meanwhile they sit back and make no effort to listen to the other people there. Their indifference is fucking infuriating.
The most frustrating part about this is that I see the potential. If these MRAs got over their irrational hatred of women/feminists/progressives, got off their asses and started doing meaningful work (e.g. crowdfunding for men's therapy, amplifying male SA survivors, protesting against the draft), then men would be so much better off. Hell, feminists and progressives would probably WANT to support them since they could prove their movement is effective and acting in good faith. But ignore that, MRAs. Keep putting 100% of your energy into complaining about how no one solves problems you don't really care about. It's not like there are men out there that actually need help /s.
I have never experienced judgement or shame for liking cats and dogs or petting my cats and cuddling with them. From anyone else other than my Republican stepdad and his republican stepdad. They both hate me and I hate them both. I just like shitting on the patriarchy. I also love attacking the patriarchy and blaming it for everything wrong with society. Nobody outside of my Republican stepfather and his republican stepfather have ever looked at me funny for petting cats or liking to cuddle with my cats. Just them 2.
After 4 years of the most confusing and traumatic bs from my partner I’ve discovered this RP concept and the more I read the more I can see this is exactly what has been happening to me at a high level. I have a few questions and would appreciate any advice I know my phone has been hacked and followed many times over the 4 years ( of course it’s all in my head) one of the things he does when we break up is to harass me to answer my phone ( refuses to text and if he does it’s soppy bs) if I’m ever stupid enough to answer he drags out any actual conversation with blubbering and crying until I hang up…is it crazy for me to consider there is a less than innocent reason for keeping a phone call open for as long as possible? I cannot explain the living hell I have endured with this guy ( I have had a lifetime of high level abuse which he knew when we met and claimed to be in the same boat) so please any assistance or even advice on where to read more is much appreciated because I can’t live like this anymore EDIT- sorry I should of mentioned I’m out of the relationship but I would like to understand what hooks he may still have in my personal life eg. My phone, my location, my texts/emails etc
As a man I’m not supposed to like cats and dogs etc. I feel like as men we are not supposed to like animals. The reason is patriarchy and rigid gender roles. Fuck patriarchies.
https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/09/21/rollo-tomassi-the-rational-male-religion-2021-review/
The fourth book in The Rational Male Series The Rational Male – Religion is Rollo Tommasi’s book that tries to balance religious beliefs with modern day PUA theory. Has Rollo exhausted The Rational Male series or is this fourth edition an insightful addition to the collection of books which have had a huge impact on the manosphere- love or hate the guy he has been one of the most talked about figures in the men’s dating space between 2015 and 2020 . So why write about religion? Because God himself or faith is a shit way to depend on dating well and optimally yet so many people rely on their Church/Mosque or Synagogue to guide them to make the right relationship decisions . I think its still important today to discuss religion and pua as religion still impacts a lot of Men and Women’s dating decisions whether we like it or not and of course even though atheist Puas tend to speak the truth much more on relationship dynamics their voice will probably never be as loud as religious institutions despite said institutions not having common sense or rational thinking as their lead influence to the relationship advice they give .
At the time of writing 68 percent of American’s are Christian so it made sense for Rollo to do this book as he himself is American and a Christian – given that a lot of Rollo’s fan base is religious could be seen as an additional reason to focus on this topic- Rollo himself has said he receives a lot of fan-mail and questions from his religious fans so addressing them all in one book seems convenient.
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-these-men-left-the-manosphere-and-why-some-may-never
This is an interesting expose that reveals how som men were sucked into the Manosphere and how they got out. These are the type of men that might find themselves doubting, coming to their own epiphanies, and finding themselves on this very subreddit.
I’ve discovered Corey Wayne recently and listened to his audio book to.
Christine Loveridge is also good to those must of her stuff come from Corey Wayne.
Courtney Ryan also seems good too.
Aba & Preach, they have helped me a lot especially when it comes to exposing the red pill clowns.
Better call George seems good too
Natural Hypertropy, tho a fitness channel has good videos on relationships and dating
Fareen Ash, a channel for women on dating but I’ve found her videos to be helpful for me as a man
And there’s been some random videos yt recommended me that are for women that also have been helpful
Anyone have any other recommendations that are helpful to watch and learn from ?
Hello!
My name is Franek, and I'm conducting a qualitative study on how RedPill ideology affects the mental well-being of young adult men. I'm looking for anyone who'd be interested, and comfortable with sharing their experiences with RedPill ideology, and/or manosphere-adjacent content.
Specifically, we'd like to conduct an in-depth interview of about 10 questions, which will address how you got introduced to the RedPill, your wellbeing during that period of time, and how you managed to leave it behind. The online interviews can be conducted over Zoom, or over text (i.e. e-mail, Reddit messages, etc.)
If you are an Ex-RedPill, young man (18-25 years) who'd be interested in sharing his story, please reach out to me through my reddit account, or by e-mailing me at f.gierycz@gmail.com . Alternatively, if you personally know someone who may fit this criteria, and could be interested in participating, please feel free to extend this post to them.
As someone who has, in the past, nearly fallen into the echo-chambers that so many people post about on this subreddit, I think it important to learn from those that have managed to leave behind RedPill beliefs.
I'll be waiting to hear from you!
- Franek
Been reading and consuming red pill material for over 15 years now since I was a teenager.
I remember being a kid basically and having a complete breakdown over my worldview of finding a partner, falling in love, being completely thrashed.
I have since never been able to form a relationship with a man. No amount of counter arguing can still that little voice in my head that says "He doesnt actually love you" or "He's only into you now, wait until you get older and he starts to resent being with you and crave the attention of younger prettier women," and "men arent wired for monagamy and women are so all relationships are niserable for the woman unless she's blissfully ignorant and in denial"
I've been to therapy numerous times but no therapist has been able to help. Some of them even confirm my beliefs about men.
And its not like I was just reading RP material- actually- for years I didnt even know I was reading RP- I was just reading stuff online from men that confirms the narrative.
I dont know how to move forward- especially as a woman who is constantly on the poverty line and doesn't have access to some specialized therapist or something.
Anyone who has autism and is a male who is between the ages of 20-30 want to be friends ? I’m looking for all the people who are on the spectrum who have fallen for this crap and are trying to pull themselves out like I am. The red pill is awful for everyone but I would say it’s worse for young men and boys who are on the autism spectrum. I’m 27 years old almost 28 and honestly it’s difficult letting this crap go. It’s so comforting to say it’s not me it’s everyone else. Socializing in general is difficult for me.
I mean all these guys, influencers, youTubers, tiktokers etc. who are considered "winners" by our society's definition and yet hold redpill views and create content about it.
I'm talking about all those mega-rich guys or handsome "chads" models who believe in redpill and talk about it openly.
Of course, I mean people like Andrew Tate, but I have also seen YouTube channels and redpill blogs run by very attractive men. I once had the opportunity to talk to a guy who seemed "offended" that ugly girls were talking to people like him (the guy looked like a model).
I believe that this is a dangerous phenomenon, because on the one hand, it strengthens lost men and boys even more in redpill, because it gives them an example of guys who are "in top" of society and tells them something like this: there is a rich chad who DEFINITELY had experience with women--->Chad supports redpill ideology---->he must be right, so redpill is true.
On the other hand, having an entire army of fanatics, which such influencers have, further confirms their narcissism.
What do you think about this?
hiya - I don't really know if posts or content like this is allowed on here so im sorry for being like rude. but I'm kinda at a bit of a loss rn, my 11 year old nephew has gotten really into pretty radical Misogynistic stuff, gotten into trouble with school for harassing girls and making discriminatory comments about/to girls. I want to help him and be there for him in this time in his life, but I dont really know the first place to start, I guess I was interested in learning others perspective on what helped them leave that space? any stories, advice or recourses would be really appreciated! thanks so much
I was wondering are they both grifters or red pill ?
I‘m an average looking guy, not short and not socially awkward I would say. I have become a quite social person over the past years. This year, I moved out from my parents home to become a medical student. University is great, I met a lot of people and I still find new contacts here and there. Before I moved, I had 2 close friends and many more superficial friends I mostly saw in the Gym. I would say I‘m a person you can enjoy spending time with. Not the most popular guy, but not isolated either. In my free time, I go dancing and jogging. I also go to the gym frequently.
So far so good. The problem is that no girl was ever interested in me in a romantic way. I have one female friend and I interact a lot with the girls in university. I would say, most of them like me or are just not that interested. But not a single one ever found me attractive. I simply feel unattractive and unlovable. I feel like no girl will ever want to date me. I don’t know what I‘m doing wrong. I‘m not a stereotypical nice guy and I don’t appear needy or clingy I guess. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t really have a problem with being single. I have a problem with feeling unattractive. How can I feel like being a „lovable“ human being when nobody ever found me attractive?
I never really was too much into Red Pill because I found the Red Pill YouTubers simply unpleasant to watch. I don’t want to believe in TRP but I start feeling like women are only interested in attractive guys and not in average guys like me.
Has anyone tips to get rid of this feeling of not being attractive enough and be happily single or find a girlfriend eventually?
My oldest brother has only ever been in one relationship, and she left him years back for our step brother, married him, and had 2 kids. And then our step mom sided with her and her son. So at a point in his life when he was super vulnerable, and felt betrayed by the women closest to him, he found the red pill. I have tried in vain to get through to him so he is not alone and miserable. Any advice would be appreciated
This concept came to my mind from time to time recently. Back when I was just getting introduced to the redpill, I remember one thing that actually helped my self-esteem a lot. It was being my own "mental point of origin".
(Now this was sometime before the redpill conjoined w/ ultra-conservative Christianity would wreck my self-esteem. So I'm not implying this concept actually helps ppl, but that I did have associations to it that were somewhat more positive than to other redpill talking points.)
Then I googled it. Little to say I was disappointed to find all references to it were from redpill websites. Probably a sign it's to be avoided. Otherwise, ppl outside the redpill would adopt it, right?
Honestly, I'm not sure what to think of it. I've been struggling w/ self-esteem, constantly worrying what ppl think of me and how they feel. I don't wanna be careless and selfish (hence my concern with the concept), but I find this ppl-pleasing tendency is crippling me.
But if I were "my own mental point of origin" - i.e., if I measured all things in life according to what I want and desire - this would supposably help my ppl-pleasing tendencies and raise my self-esteem, yes?
What do you think of it? What do you think of being "your own mental point of origin"?
So, curious at to your thoughts, how does one getting over feeling creepy? While I know I can't read minds at all, it just always seems the women I am interested in, chat with, at work or school the past few years who I thought we were getting along great suddenly drop me or behavior changes. And I cannot help but think I did something or feel like I came across as creepy in most situations.
I have also been told that if you try to act or convey the idea you're not creepy, or give off vibes you like them (how in the world does that work and I don't know how it can even be controlled?!?!) that you give off vibes that you are because that's always was creeps do (I think Mark Manson speaks a lot about intentions too but it just seems weird and totally against my nature to go up to also someone and say "hey you're hot let's talk"...
so I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I get sometimes that has to be the case. Also, I do not nor have done anything physical and I hardly initiate anything other than a friendly conversation.
whats your experience that made you leave
Im talking about online like social media , they say stupid shit like , “I can see why you’re single or can’t get laid” or”stay lonely and unhappy” They insult and automatically assume that about you with zero proof, with them possibly living 1000s of miles apart of each other, or whenever they lost the argument. They’ll be quick to call you an incel, or lonely, or single, or virgin, with zero proof of knowing their sex lives or relationship history. Especially on the inceltears subreddit. Why do people do this? And can we all stop doing this? As doing this just encourages the idea that the opposite gender is delusional and makes it harder for guys to exit the redpill? Im posting this in good faith I’m genuinely asking why people on social media do this and how to respond and that blindly assuming stuff about a stranger you don’t know on the internet is harmful for both and enforces stereotypes that are harmful. Which is bad for both genders.
Hi, I’m a 24 year old guy who severely struggles with being attractive to other women. I have never had a romantic relationship, never had anyone interested in me and only have expressed my feelings a couple of times and each time it was met with rejection.
Every rejection I have ever gotten was in some way related with my height. I am 5'3” which is objectively short for a guy. Also the fact that I am simply quite ugly doesn't really help my case, however I do feel much worse about my height as opposed to the rest of my looks.
So the fact that I have never had anyone interested in me coupled with only experiencing rejection and the fact that women (I know that this is only true for women I interacted with and I just might have had bad luck) prefer taller men, something I can't control nor change without invasive procedures has frankly made me feel like I am inadequate and not good enough and nothing I do will make me become good enough since I can't clear the bar for height to be considered attractive.
My question is what can I do to deprogram my way of thinking since being short, ugly bitter and resentful is probably less likely to be attractive as opposed to just being short and ugly?
I recently began thinking about this since I’ve been watching some videos about the downfall of the redpill. It’s the one big question I’ve never understood.
The redpill and the general “manosphere” says women are sloots, they have super high body counts, are not wife material and don’t deserve commitment.
Yet simultaneously, say a woman who doesn’t put out on the first date is b*ch who is wasting your time and money and that dating in general is a waste of time and money.
But in order for women to be putting out for every dude after a date, they’d have to be banging a ton of dudes which leads to high body count and being called a sloot.
but if they want to be serious and not give it up so easily, then she’s using you and is not worth your time.
I just want to know if anyone ever got an answer for this or figured out how RPers reconcile this.
This post gets into US politics , so apologies in advance. As someone who tends to put women on a pedestal, it’s been an unpleasant realization that not all women care about the safety and welfare of other women. I ran across a white woman who is a fanatical Trump supporter even though she isn’t overtly racist. I am disheartened that she , and others like her, doesn’t seem to care that pregnant women have already started dying in red states by being denied medical care for miscarriages. And the same fate will befall pregnant women across the US if Trump wins again.
I’m terrified for the future of young American women, especially the the daughters and nieces of people I care about. Mind boggles that some women are willing subject other women to this fate and throw away hard won rights. I don’t have a question. Just looking for emotional support, I guess
We are a group of college students at Cegep of Old Montreal and we are conducting an anonymous study on the exit process of the incel community for our Qualitative Research and Methodology class. To participate, you must:
This study is 100% anonymous and all data collected will be kept private between us and our professor and will be destroyed once the class is over. You will be required to fill in a consent form with further information if you qualify to participate. Do not hesitate to contact us if you have any further questions.
If you’re interested, please fill this (form)[https://forms.gle/7uxEkVQCYNwVmmXS7\]
Hey guys, so I am falling to the redpill again, and I noticed that is almost like a drug, when you fell down and things are not working out, the redpill looks attractive again, making all sense and stuff.
I just want to get rid of this, but in order to that, I think I have to be successful in some way, but you know, it's not easy.
I am subscribed to shoe on head. I just recently started watching her. So my questions are is she red pill or problematic/ toxic ?