i’m in a ‘best friend trio’ and i’ve always been the kind of chaotic one, i sometimes do annoying things but my ‘best friends’ always blow it way out of proportion.

i’m going to use different names for privacy reasons, girl 1 is ‘lucy’ girl 2 is ‘evie’

i will do something that is kind of annoying to evie, but we all know it’s not a big deal, but lucy always goes and blows it out of proportion and says i’m always doing horrible things to them even though i’m not. evie and lucy then turn on me and cause a bunch of drama and make me out as the bad guy. this is not the first time it has happened. so i do the tiniest things, and they blow it way out of proportion and make me the bad guy. but lucy does way meaner things to evie, all the time, but evie is fine with it. i feel like im always the third wheel, and ‘evie and lucy are never in the wrong because i’ve always done worse.’ so i’m just constantly left feeling like they all hate me, and they are allowed to get away with anything because ‘i’m meaner, so its fine’ and i thought i deserved it at first, but this is just straight up bullying. im a good friend, everyone has done bad things but im a solid friend, i considered lucy my best friend for 7 years. now im not so sure. she always makes me feel down, but claims i am the one who’s bullying her. i’m just so tired of being the one who is constantly hated on, and no one else understands it. i am literally crying right now, because i just can’t deal with it anymore.

i hope someone can relate and give advice. i’m really struggling right now.

I have really low self esteem from being bullied when I was a kid and also till my early to mid 20s. It still goes on sadly. How do I overcome this

So I'm still a minor that not really recently finally btw switched schools a k-12th school that I been bullied for a long time in and when I mean long time it's to the point it happen so often where I don't remember when it first started exactly last year the almost ending of 2023 I was admitted in a mental hospital where the workers side with my parents and I was completely alone at telling what happened my parents took part in making me not want to be alive anymore due to their toxic actions when I was growing up after leaving out of that toxic and scary mental hospital for 10 days I had nightmares about it I went to another therapist after that experience and after telling them my experience of extreme bullying and SA I was diagnosed with ptsd and was given anti depression pill my parents don't like therapy so they got me out of it quickly while in therapy they use that as a way to threaten to take me out of it if I make them angry after those experiences I use more of the internet as escapism it has led me to doing bad things to myself such as sending nudes twice to guys my age I'm not looking for advice I'm just here to tell my experience all ima say is don't force yourself to do anything to try to find love or attention because it will hurt you and I learned that luckily those guys deleted the pictures. Now I'm just trying to cope on my own everyday and I still get nightmares of my experience and the times I got violated.

so im getting bullied by these two girls in my class. they're constantly making fun of me and being mean. I sit next to one of them in two of my classes. this started very recently so I haven't told my friends. I can't even respond to anything they say because they'll just be even meaner. a few days ago, I was watching The Owl House on my laptop and forgot to close it before getting to school. one of the girls saw it and now they won't stop making fun of me for it. today they made a "class group chat" except it was everyone but my friends, but they added me and started talking about TOH. they were saying things like "everyone in that show is lesbian" and just made a bunch of homophobic comments. im genuinely scared to go to school tomorrow and to top it off I have a presentation on Tuesday that I know they're gonna laugh at. I honestly hate my life. if anyone has advice that would be nice.

As in you’re just walking around outside and someone says something. I’m 25 this shouldn’t bother me anymore but it kills me inside. Like it’s little comments like once a week or something. And it’s something I’m so self conscious about as well. I got bullied at school for it. Smell. I think I smell fine but apparently not good enough. It’s usually by teenagers, sort of giggling amongst themselves and looking at me or just today, I walked passed 2 teenage boys and one shouted hey miss stinky. I’m an adult, I may not look it but I am and this still bothers me so much. I got home from work and cried. Does anyone else have this or know how to deal with it?

hello 13M here, theres this girl, L 13F, who has routinely on and off been harassing me, forcing me to do weird substances, and just overall being a dick. Recently, randomly during science class when i was placed next to her she began to open up despite me trying to uncomfortably get away from her. Then, because i was scrolling through a SH subreddit (for my personal issues) she looked over and forced/peer pressured me into giving me the account. She looked through my stuff and began saying how it "all doesnt matter" and "Nobody even cares", and then said "I tried to kill myself, so, yeah."

Ever since then she has been sorta using that as an excuse to get away with that stuff, not only that, she told everyone in her group about my posts. I know her attempting to end her life is horrible, but shes using it as an excuse for her terrible actions. She even tried showing me her attempting scars, despite knowing how it freaks me out.

I feel like I can see clearly on this subject, so I will write a few thoughts, and hopefully it won't upset anyone and it won't be nonsense.

There is (trust me on this) a belief in the mind of some people, if not many people, that if someone can be annoyed, they should be annoyed. The reason for this thinking is that, if someone has a problem, a blip in their thinking, then it should be brought to the forefront of their reality, shown in the light of day, and the problem should be tackled and solved.

So for example, if someone has insecurity about their new glasses, the bullies will say "ha ha, glasses". How would someone react if they said "ha ha, eyes"? I mean, everyone has eyes, they're all the same. The point of the bullies is, there's nothing particularly wrong with glasses. Once the victim simply says "I wear glasses. So what?", the bullying ceases. The operation was successful. The glasses wearing person wears glasses and they are now comfortable with that fact. Everyone is happy.

Here's another example. Two friends are in a car. One friend parks in a disabled space. The other gets annoyed - he says "you shouldn't park there, it's for disabled people only." So the driver, from then on, insists on parking in the disabled space, to the increasing frustration and anger of the passenger friend. Why does he insist on this bullying? Because:

You only have the right to control your own body and reactions and behaviour. You have absolutely no right to control the actions of anyone else. And you can react to their behaviour in whatever way you please. And you both have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

Is parking in a disabled space trivial and unimportant? It is not completely trivial, but if one person is willing to risk the punishment, then it is completely his absolute right and privelege to park whereever he likes. No amount of logic (that's selfish, disabled people will be harmed) can take away the fact that he has the right to drive his own car where he likes. That's what people want you to realise: bullying is not illegal. It is not even a moral issue. They have their reasons for doing what they are doing - if they are getting physical, they are quite possibly trying, in their own way, to toughen you up. Or maybe they are trying to redress an imbalance (in their minds) of social status - that's just a part of life. It's ok to be humbled. Just ask any Christian. You do not have the right to stop people picking on you, except by how you react. If someone decides to say something rude to you, they absolutely have that right, they have made up their mind to face the consequences. And you have no right to stop them. But you have the right and ability, to choose exactly how you react. You can ignore it, you can shout something rude back, you can complain to your boss - whatever you want.

Anyway, in the words of Pink Floyd, "thought i'd something more to say".

What does everyone think?

Someone from my past has been on my mind a lot lately. We grew up a few houses away from each other and played outside everyday together when we were young. Riding bikes, playing kid games (90s) and just hanging out. We were the same age and our little siblings were the same age (he had a sister and I have a brother)

Once we hit middle school, both of us went in different directions friend-wise. We were both heavier than our classmates and his parents were going through a divorce so he was already having a hard time. I was a stupid kid struggling with being bullied myself and was going through some mental health challenges... and didn't recognize his tattered clothes and poor hygiene was a result of circumstances well beyond his control.

At some point he and I became enemies of some nature. Not quite sure when it started... and things escalated to the point where (in hindsight) I became a bully to him. I specifically remember a day in art class where something was said between us and I called him out in front of everyone saying he was a "humpback whale" (his neck had a hump in it) and told him his tattered clothes made him look like quasi moto.

One boy came to his rescue and said some awful things about me... we never spoke again.

20+ years later and I'm thinking of this moment. I know other terrible things were said and I can't recall for certain but I do know that wasn't the only moment we exchanged awful words about one another.

I know where he lives and thought of sending a letter - not for my redemption because he owes me nothing - but more so just to apologize because being a kid is terrible never the less going through what he did and words leave scars... maybe hoping that somehow it could patch a wound I may have left behind.

Is this a stupid idea...?

I've been bullied for a month now, (since the beginning of the school year) I'm new at this school, and I'm normally quiet, I don't isolate myself, I mean I talk to girls outside of my class and one or two in my class And the bullies are aware of this, but I don't talk at all to the rest of my class (the bullies) Because they started bullying me since day one

It's been mostly indirect, racial slurs, body shaming, insults, taking pictures of embarrassing moments of me without my consent and sharing them with each other on social media, cat calling me in a mocking way, ... The worst is teachers know about it but don't do anything they might say shush or be quiet but they won't do anything more

I'm a good student at school, but I'm not sure they will do something if I ask for their help

I considered talking to a supervisor... But I don't know what they'll do, if they'll take me seriously, and if they'll do anything at all I haven't told them to shut up or stop bullying me, I just try to ignore them as best as I can, and I noticed when I participate or do assigned work while they're bullying me, they actually stop for a while My dad could help me but I don't know if I should tell him I know he'll make a big BIG deal out of it at the principal's... I just don't know if they'll stop or if it'll get worse? He just asked me earlier if I have 'problems' at school, so he noticed that there's something going on Also, this is a private school and from what I noticed I think they get away with a lot of things, they think their parents could get them out of any kind of trouble they make

What should I do?

I am genuinely curious about this question, I would like to know your answer whether you were bullied or just curious about this topic.

I'm 30 years old and I have been bullied since I was little. First because I was a very imaginative girl and my classmates didn't understand it, then because I have suffered from PCOS since I was a teen, I sweat a lot, I have hair loss and weight problems and people made fun of me. They even insulted me on Twitter thinking that I would never find out. In conclusion, I developed a terrible fear of people, I had to leave university and I practically didn't leave the house except for the basics. 3 years ago I started studying again, this time what I liked. My classmates are between 4-10 years younger than me (except for one older lady), they don't mess with me, they are kind and if I need something they help me, but of course, I'm afraid that, due to what I have experienced, one day they will hurt me or betray me. I have also tried to join groups to meet people and it hasn't helped me at all. In other words, I am completely alone. In fact, I feel very self-conscious about my physical appearance, and I think I will never be able to find a partner because I am too old. I would like to know if you could help me in some way. Thank you.

hi! this is my first time posting on reddit and id like to keep my and everybody elses privacy who were involved into this story (for now). this is gonna be a long one, so prepare your popcorns.

all this happened back in 2015 when i was a 15 year old minor and all the way until 2020, the severe bullying and harassment lasted for 5 years.

in 2015, i dated a guy, lets call him Peter, who was at a time 19, he was older than me. long story short, but Peter and i has been in a toxic relationship the entire time and we lasted for about 8-9 months, we broke up first half of December 2015. before Peter and i broke up, i had his instagram account password and sometimes would lurk due to my trust issues towards him to see what he’s been up to and who he’s been talking to. at that time i saw a girls reply to his comment under her photo, who is now dating one of the F1 drivers, lets call her Alison. all these years later, i cant recall the context of their comment-reply to each other, but i knew they were flirting, which i back then didnt mind because i already knew that our relationship were ending. after our break up in December, he moved on to Alison and they started dating i believe right before Christmas, within same month of our break up. however, Peter kept texting me on my phone number for the next few months although him and Alison were already officially in a relationship/posting each other. i got fed up with his constant texts and forwarded all the screenshots of his messages to Alison in her DMs. she then responded to me that she probably shouldn’t have called him boyfriend so soon. however, i dont know what he said and lied to her, later on she ended up blocking me, which is like, whatever at that point, or as i thought so back then.

about a few weeks later, one of my followers sent me DM with a link going to PULL website (Pretty Ugly Little Liars), those who remember, will know that the website was pretty much about bullying young girls, influencers, youtubers etc. there was a thread that was made all about me. in the thread they leaked my home address, the name of my high school, my phone number, photos of my family members, as well as made up story that i used to scam people in DMs on instagram/sold them an iPhone and never shipped it out, which wasn’t true because i didn’t even have much followers at a time, nor was some 15 year old mastermind making such things happen, it was even said that i scammed my ex and left him with $10k debt, ive never gotten any money from my ex let alone left him with a debt when i was literally shy to ask him to buy me plush toy if i wanted one, the proof as well was never provided that i either scammed other people nor my ex, there was no screenshots, just words which people blindly believed. there were hundreds of comments of random people who i’ve never even met nor knew, being mean and rude towards me, sending me death threats in the discussion of the comment section. people were calling on my phone number, sending me nasty messages, talking about my appearance and calling me ugly. the thread as well posted photos of me from when i was 11-13 years old going through phases, trying to embarrass me.

at that time, i did not know who could make that kind of horrible post on PULL about me, until one of my close friends back then received an iMessage text and the phone number of the sender was visible. they were asking information about me from my own friend and if he knew anything that he could share, and both my friend and i did not know where they got his contact info until i realized, that my ex used to have a password from my iCloud, where all my contacts were visible to him. we then checked who the number belongs to via Getcontact app, and the name of the person was the same as Alison’s best friend which made me sick to my core. i contacted the number from my own phone confronting her that i know it’s them who made a thread on PULL about me and that they should stop doing so as i’ve ever even met Alison nor her bff whose name lets say is Jen. Jen then responded to my message with “nice nudes b*tch, weve all seen it, you shouldnt probably photoshop your waist though, we know you dont look like that” and proceeded laughing in the message. she then said that my ex showed my nudes to his friends, to Jen including Alison herself. again, i was just a minor… i was scared to come up to my parents to tell them that all this was happening so i ended up never telling them this story. i deleted my instagram account, changed my phone number, and tried to stay away from checking PULL as much as possible to avoid reading newly made comments where people who didnt know me, were hardcore bullying me. a year later i made a new instagram account, but Peter, Alison and Jen has found it and leaked it in the comments of the thread, people then started sending me nasty messages again. at that point, i kept my IG public and tried not to care enough because i’ve felt like ive seen it all, then i got diagnosed with depression at the age of 16 and was on antidepressants due to that reason for the entire year until i said enough and tried to get my shit together. fast forward to 2019, the website link still existed, but Peter and Alison broke up around Sept-Oct, though Alison and Jen were still friends.

in January 2020, i met my now boyfriend and we got into a serious relationship. later in 2020, an anonymous sent the link to my boyfriend’s mom and she obviously didn’t like it, however, my bf knew about the PULL thread and knew that my ex, Alison and Jen were behind it. i then sent a DM in 2020 to Jen begging her to take it down and saying that it’s ruining my life and it’s been many years at this point and that i’ve never done anything to neither of them so why do i deserve this. Jen asked me to pay her $2k and said that she’ll think about taking it down, she then as well sent me screenshot of her conversation with Alison where Alison said that i deserve it all and not to take the PULL thread about me down while calling me b*tch in the conversation. Alison as well was already dating her F1 boyfriend for nearly few months, but i highly doubt he knew/know anything about this. then to my i guess luck??? the website got shut down by it’s own admin/creator due to them not being able to pay for it anymore. although it was taken down, the emotional trauma i was put through even since i was 15, all the bullying, body/face dysmorphia and all those horrible memories of being scared and helpless didn’t go nowhere. Jen ended up DMing me few months after the PULL got shut down, and asking me if i made an account on IG to DM her boyfriend and tell him that she used to bully a girl on PULL. lmfao i guess it was karma and somebody knew it was her. but i told her i had no business to do so and i dont care enough making random accounts to blackmail her.

Alison is now however, living her best life, and so i’m sure is Jen. i know its been 4 years since it all ended, but i think i am now healed and not scared anymore to come out publicly with this story and tell everybody what kind of person this Alison is who is now being praised by many little girls that look up to her because she’s dating a famous boyfriend. Jen on the other hand has a famous youtuber sister, who i’m as well sure will be affected if this all will come out to light. i truly want them to feel the same way i felt back then, because that’s just fair, or at least an alology. not sure how Peter is doing though, don’t know what he’s up to or where he’s been because his IG seems to be deleted.

also, to avoid confusion i have proof and screenshots from back then of everything that i’m saying and claiming here right now, however, i wont be posting it unless i decide to come out and talk about it publicly.

anyway, this is my story guys. i need an advice if its worth coming out and spreading this to light or should i forget but not forgive and move on, instead of what people might say, being petty? any opinion will be appreciated. thank you

Why do people get mad at my reactions to being bullied rather than getting angry and upset at the people bullying me? They never blame their reactions i am convinced they can say whatever they possibly want but the minute I do it even if my responses are logical and reasonable I’m silenced. I’m made to feel like something is wrong with me. It starts to get to me after awhile and I believe it.

In high school, I was often the target of bullying. It wasn’t anything extreme, but those daily comments, the laughs behind my back, and feeling like I didn’t belong—it all added up. I’d walk down the hall feeling small, like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to mess up. I tried to brush it off, to laugh along sometimes, but deep down, it hurt.

The hardest part was feeling like I couldn’t tell anyone. I thought speaking up would make it worse or that no one would understand. Looking back, I wish I’d been more open about it. Bullying isolates you, but it shouldn’t have to.

So my friend was being bullied all the time by this one boy he was putting up with it at first but he got tried of it and punch the bully in the face, the teachers saw and is like go to the office right now thinking they was talking to him he tried to explain they was like no not you him they was talking to the bully, the bully ended up getting suspended at least 3 days and grounded by his parents

Bullying has always been an issue, but with social media and OTT platforms now central to our lives, it's taken on new forms and levels of intensity. The entertainment we consume often glamorizes aggression, dominance, and disrespect, which can easily translate into how people, especially young audiences, treat each other. The portrayal of "strong" characters who assert power by putting others down or using derogatory language is, unfortunately, starting to influence real-life behavior.

On social media, for example, trolls gain attention and followers by tearing others down, and it becomes easy to think that harsh words are just part of “normal” communication. In web series and movies, bullying often becomes a plot device or a characteristic of the “cool” or “heroic” lead. While it may be entertaining on-screen, this normalization of harmful behaviors is dangerous in the real world, where bullying leaves lasting emotional and psychological scars.

Many people, especially younger viewers, start to believe that mocking, excluding, or intimidating others is an acceptable way to gain respect or power. This impact is often subconscious – people may not realize they’re adopting the very behaviors they see online or in media. The cycle of bullying then becomes embedded in our culture, leading to greater levels of stress, anxiety, and even depression among those targeted.

Some questions for us to think about:

Do you believe media and social platforms play a role in normalizing bullying behaviors?

Have you noticed a change in how people treat each other online or offline, possibly influenced by media?

How can we balance the freedom of expression in media with the need to prevent the spread of harmful behaviors?

What steps can we take, individually and as a society, to discourage bullying and promote kindness and empathy?

Darin - What If (VIDEO)

It’s such a shame because I’m turning thirty this weekend, I am a frequent gym goer and have been at gyms since I was 14, doing mma and have never experienced this. I just switched to a private gym from a commercial gym and on my 4th workout there I was using some equipment, I walk away for about 30 seconds and when I come back I can see some guy putting his stuff next to my stuff. Me being in sales and confident, I said “oh yeah I was just warming up and that one is the same and it looks like no one is using it.” The guy (40s/50s, apparently on steroids but not much bigger than me, just taller mainly,) is angry, won’t make eye contact and says “no I’m using this one, I like the cable,” Me, shocked since I’m used to people being generally quite courteous at the gym. I just said nothing grabbed my stuff and worked out next to him at the other machine I said he should use.

Now, I’m not like shaken up by this, but I am conflicted because I have a lot of pride. I feel did the right thing in walking away since I have a good career and like I said I’m confident and have nothing to prove. But there’s that part of my that tells me my pride is hurt.

It sucks cuz I like this gym and now I’m gonna see this guy from time to time. It’s not that big of a deal I’m not scared of him but it’s annoying ya know. I come here for peace and anger release and now I’m angrier coming here.

What would you do?

Gaydar is open to any single person.

I’ll go first.

#Apparently, the less I talk about it, the smoother, better and faster my healing process will be.

This may get a little spicy, and I get if you're not ready to talk about it yet.

I realized about a year ago I have several markers that are common with those on the spectrum - in fact as a teenager a psychologist said she suspected I had Asperger's*. Now I know that sometimes kids on the spectrum will say sh-tty things and be unaware that it's a sh-tty thing to say. . . that's not what this is talking about, and honestly, in those circumstances I understand if someone were to say "I don't appreciate that" or "I don't want to talk to you" that makes sense. I have said that I get not liking others, that's okay with me, I get it, I don't like everyone. . . it's the fixation aspect that boggles my mind.

The thing is. . . autistics initially think they're normal, but they don't realize how "weird" they come off. It can be for the most minor things - in my case I was bullied relentlessly because I have a low voice and "walk funny" it got to the point that adults were pointing this out (90s kid, autism wasn't understood, Asperger's wasn't commonly diagnosed, and even if it was. . . people just thought you were "weird" and you tended to be bullied into "normalcy").

Even now, there's a group dedicated to people "faking" disorders and thinking that it's completely fine to tell those (some that have been legit diagnosed ) that they're faking it, and they're just being "quirky" for the sake of being "quirky" and they think it's perfectly acceptable to fixate on how "weird" that person is. Which is sort of ironic considering it's a stereotypical autistic trait to fixate on things :/ But it's not something that can be turned off, it's more like something we may try to keep quiet that spills out the sides of the mask.

TLDR - do you think you're on the spectrum and do you think that's a reason you were bullied?

*Asperger's is a term that was used pre-2013 to describe what is now described as Lower needs autistics (I hope I said that right)

Tw: Sewerslide, sex/grape, queers

I'm being bullied by multiple big groups of people for multiple reasons, being queer, dating a girl (as a girl) or because i speak alot of English even tho I'm from the Netherlands. The bullying is getting bad, i get alot of questions about sex or uncomfortable topics like if i would rape someone for money (i am under 16, this takes place in a school). It's getting so bad I've gotten multiple death threats and my friends are being bullied too, i almost had to break up so my gf would be safe. I also get that childish "i have a crush on you Y/n" bs. I'm in high school.

I've told the teachers and my mom. But they tell me i shouldn't say I'm gay out loud and stop talking English or talking back to bullies, and just ignore them. They barely help unless there's physical proof like griefing or broken stuff.

I usually just joke it off or tell them to leave me alone, but this has been going for three years snd it's affecting me mentally. I have no idea what i did but as far as i know it started when rumors spread from one mean kid. What do i do. Do i search higher ups, do i punch them back, or just ignore it? Nothing works. Please help.

When I think back on my bullies I don’t remember us as kids. I’m 36 and I’m not saying I think of the experiences as if they were adults. But, it does feel like they’re my same age now when I think back to it? I don’t know if that makes sense. I think I’d be surprised if I were to see us how we actually looked.

There are 3 kids in my math class who bulky me for looking like a nerd. And I'll admit it, I'm ugly. But yk... everyone's beautiful in they're own way! 1 of them is a girl, the other 2 are boys. The boys names are Leon and Wyatt. Idk the girls name. But they all are saying that I stink, I'm ugly my mom's Santa clause and my dad's bugs bunny. And mind you, I take a shower everyday in the morning before school. They always talk about fighting people and crap. They sound fake gangster! (Also 2 are in my gym class and 1 in my ela class) they all don't say really anything when they're not in math class, but if I were to go up to one of them they would say something. I'm summing up that they're all talk, always trying to be cool but in reality they're awful kids! So what do you guys think? Should I wait until they throw a punch and fight back or tell a teacher?

All I have developed in these 8/10 years thanks to bullying is :

-constant need of attention and approval on social media to remember myself they were wrong, when they called me ugly and urge to compete with mean girls

-dissociative identity disorder

-anger issues and resentment

I'd have lived well even without the things I have typed

I found out yesterday that my brother, who has Asperger's, little to no social skills, absolutely no confidence, and a stiff, tense body, is showing a lot of signs of stress. He’s often laughing in uncomfortable situations, has dark bags under his eyes, trouble falling asleep, looks down all the time, isolates himself, and seems weighed down by various fears. He’s also on medication.

I only recently learned that a lot of his behaviors and struggles come from trauma caused by bullying he experienced back in primary school. Now, I'm in my third year of high school, and he’s in his first. Before I knew that his problems and constant laughing were trauma-related, I just blamed him for it. I was even abusive at times, and I know I’ll never fully forgive myself for that. I thought he was laughing and saying random things to make fun of me or just to be annoying on purpose, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

He’s in a new school now, but he’s still dealing with microaggressions and bullying – verbal aggression, disrespect, kids making fun of him, and one even twisted his nipples. It wasn’t done with a lot of force, but it’s still rough, especially if this kind of thing keeps happening daily, like it did before.

I’ve been trying to help him by encouraging him to be less of a people-pleaser. I tell him to speak up about things, suggesting he go to the school’s pedagogue/educator or psychologist. I also try to teach him life lessons, like “I know it's hard, but there are people who had it harder and did better.” I even shared LeBron James’ story with him, about how he was homeless but became the person he is now. (In hindsight, this wasn’t the best example because my brother isn’t interested in basketball.)

I recently found out that one kid twisted his nipples and verbally abused him, so I went looking for this kid around the schoolyard and school gate. I didn’t find him that day, but the next day, I saw him as he was leaving school. I confronted him and asked if he did it, and he lied. I told him to tell the truth, and if he was lying, I’d punch him. He eventually confessed, and I did end up slapping him. One of his friends who was there just laughed. (The kid was around my size.) The part that makes me feel worst is that I shook his hand after and said, “We’re now equal.” My friend told me later that I’d handled it all wrong.

A week ago, my brother told me that some of his classmates were verbally abusing him, so I went into their locker room before PE and told one of them that if he didn’t confess to the teacher, I’d beat him up. The kid said my brother starts things with him, but back then, I didn’t know that my brother’s behaviors were due to trauma. So I listened to the guy and didn’t push it further. My brother says things got a little better after that, but I still feel bad.

Old Memories and Regrets

Hearing my brother’s confessions about what happened to him in primary school just breaks me. He was bullied into doing things like making a mohawk with tap water in front of everyone. Once, they even made him put his head in a toilet. I was only in fourth grade at the time, with no father figure, and I remember feeling angry but not doing anything. I probably just cried about it, but I can’t remember exactly since it was so long ago.

In fifth grade, he even asked a girl if she wanted to have sex with him – he didn’t even know what it meant. All of these things, he did because he just wanted to fit in, but he never got anything out of it. And on top of that, we have trauma from family issues, including an alcoholic dad, and we’ve had to call the police and mental health services on him more than once.

Looking for Advice

How can I help him now? I’m back to training kickboxing in my town, but I need advice on confronting these guys without getting myself into more trouble. Should I tell the school about what’s happening? They just received documentation about his Asperger’s, so maybe they’ll protect him – but I’m not sure how much they actually will.

I want to protect him, but I feel terrible. I’m at a boarding school, trying to keep my emotions together so the teachers don’t see me crying and get concerned or call my parents. I just feel so guilty for the role I played in hurting him in the past. I’ve tried to talk to him about masculinity and hard work, but I know I’m not exactly the best person to speak on those topics right now.

I don’t know if I should seek revenge on his old bullies, but I do want to help improve his mental health – I know he’s had suicidal thoughts in the past. And I don’t want to make things worse by confronting people in a way that gets me into trouble. My kickboxing coach, who’s also a PE teacher, is someone I respect and don’t want to let down; I’ve heard rumors he’s taken things into his own hands in situations like this before, and I don’t want to disappoint him either.

You can hate me all you want for what I’ve done, but I really want advice on how to help my brother. Thanks for reading.

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**Changes Made:** Minor adjustments were made for readability and to structure the post as distinct paragraphs without changing the original content. This included clarifying a few sentences and rephrasing some sections for flow without altering any facts.

Sry I don’t know how to say these things logically, even some ppl will think it’s nothing.

I find that my mom can’t support me when I feel so hard to face some bad news, she always says “this is the real world, no one can live a happy life, so don’t regard yourself as the most pitiful person”, except this, she usually says “you r not like an adult, you shouldn’t be like a child”, “stop complaining, mind your own business”, and she like to tell me my father and her life used to be very hard.

I know they love me, they don’t want me to live far away from them, when I said I want to immigrate to another country, they stopped me with a casual attitude, when I cried, they just looked at me and ready to criticize me.

Live in an Asian family, I regard the balcony and bathroom as a space to shed tears.

I really hope they can love me less, if they do, I m happy I can be a bad guy, only live for myself.

it was much later in life where i found myself associating with really rude, dominating and obnoxious people. and im not that at all. it was more like i was trying to please them and fit in with them.

i live in a society where being rude, direct and saying what’s on your mind whether it be so mean and hurtful is deemed to be real.

those people are considered honest and real. they’re the type to tell you truthfully to your face if you look good and if you dont. and they do not care even if they make you cry just cause of their “honesty” and you have to work your life around them and toughen up cause they’re the best thing that ever happened to you

whereas the softer ones, the ones that speak kindly to you, treat you well. are actually two-faced. they are treating you well to your face but saying mean things behind your back. and they’re labelled as fake.

Basically, having sport blah blah, then the team (which my classmate was on) won, and that classmate was able to score quite a hefty point. He then started to rub it in and decided to make fun of my belongings. I was already riled up by the match and i went for a kick to his knee. But i stopped millimeters away from it. Instead, i kicked the wall to the side of me. Is anyone on my side?