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Too many depressing things on the main page, so post about what makes you warm and fuzzy inside!

Too many depressing things on the main page, so post about what makes you warm and fuzzy inside!

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I wanted to end my life when I was 16. My friend helped me during that time. Now I’m 28, a new Pediatric occupational therapy practitioner, and helping children grow big and strong! Sometimes we need a little help on our journey. :)

19:18 UTC


I got my life together, and I'm the happiest I've ever been

This is my life. I can't share this with anyone without coming off as boastful, but I just needed to put it into words. This is the story of my growth as a person through from being a kid to an adult through a year, from a single drunken realisation.

When I was a kid, I was, and still am, incredibly fortunate. I was born into a financially safe family with loving parents, a cool older brother. I was an athlete as a kid, smart, confident and socially liked. Kind, respectful, 'cool'. Mate's parents loved me, my friends thought I was the shit, everything was perfect. I got older, became a teenager. I had a big friend group, I was good with girls and good at the things I tried. I never tried in school and did well, and I started truly becoming a prick. I was so full of myself. I picked on anyone that was different to me to make my mates or girls laugh, I was crass and rude. I'd spend my life fucking around with my friends, not doing anything of value and arguing with people on the internet to get a rise out of them. I didn't appreciate my parents or my family, I'd show up late to important things and not bother going to things if I didn't absolutely have to. My mates started getting sick of me. My parents started getting sick of me. My brother started getting sick of me.

Then adulthood came. I was 18, I finished school with decent marks, got into a good degree at uni, and started completely letting everything go. For my entire life, everything had been done for me. I'd show up, do the bare minimum, and life started going downhill because of it. I got into a relationship with a girl and interjected myself in her life. I'd try and 'fix' things for her that didn't need fixing, and her resentment grew. She came from a rough house, wasn't mentally healthy and started taking it out on me, verbally and emotionally. My life caught up with me. I was turning in my assignments at the last possible moment, scrapping together the lowest amount of money possible to pay for alcohol, club tickets and petrol, I was putting up with emotional manipulation and hurtful insults from the girl I loved. I stopped going to the gym. I started smoking. I let myself go mentally and physically completely. I gained heaps of weight, picked up terrible habits with everything you can think of. I embraced the full on 'loser' lifestyle. I leeched off my family and made nothing of myself. Me and my ex broke up in a bad way, and I put up with the harassment for months afterwards.

I was a 'yeah I'll get around to it' type of person. I was gonna get my shit together, I was gonna get back to the gym, I was gonna work on myself EVENTUALLY. I was gonna get a tattoo, I was gonna finish uni, I was gonna get a 'real' job. Every day I'd lie to my friends, my family, but most importantly, myself. I'd lie that I was going to get things back on track and start living, but it never happened. I never started anything. I had my hand in a thousand things and the moment I wasn't immediately gratified with a reward, I quit. I was gonna make more friends and go travelling! I was going to get a high paying job with absolutely zero effort! I was so stuck in the mindset of everything being easy and done for me, that I just expected things to work out for me.

At the start of last year, I was a fraction of the human I am now. To cope with how 'hard' life was, I did everything dumb you can think of. I was a 20 year old bloke, depressed, selfish, leeching loser. All I did was party, chat up girls, eat like shit, drink too many beers and smoke too much bud, and ALWAYS fuck off any real work and ambition for a good night with my mates. I had zero self-control, zero idea, zero moderation and idea of where I was going and what I was capable of. No life skills. For Christ's sake, I could barely do my own laundry. My Mum had taken care of almost every tiny aspect of my life and I'd never even appreciated her for it. I remember going to my ex's and barely knowing how to wash dishes because I was that useless in any real life skill. Everything was done for me.

Then things got rough. My dad's heart essentially gave out, my brother who had always been a stalwart, mature and driven bloke had a full blown mental health crisis due to some physical health issues, and my family collapsed. Dad was off work and Mum was taking care of him, my brother was bedridden and lower than any low I'd seen him overcome before. And there I was; sat in my room, taking my life for granted. I was playing games into the late hours, never doing my uni course work and working a casual, extremely low-hour and low paying job, not because I was busy, but because I was lazy and didn't want to face any real work. I'd rather just sit in my room and watch every youtube video and pump as many hours into games as I could, then the weekend would come and I'd be drunk/high for the entirety of it and make stupid self destructive choices. Never saved any money or did anything for anyone farther than what I had to do to consider myself a good person. I was seeing a girl I had no romantic interest in because I was bored, taking her kindness for granted. Absolute rock bottom. My mental illness was out the wazoo, later found out I had BPD. Shit was absolutely brutal and was truly my lowest low.

Then, one day, I was over at a mate's and we were playing poker. I had a smoke in my mouth and 8 or 9 empty beer bottles next to my chair and a fresh one in my hand, hair greasy and out of sorts, basically had my pyjamas on, totally mashed. I looked over at a mate to make a stupid joke and caught a look at myself in the mirror. I was overweight, my skin was a mess, I was borderline unwashed and I absolutely HATED it. I realised in a fraction of a second that all the anger and hurt I was balling up in my stomach wasn't directed to anyone else. It wasn't the people who'd put me down, it wasn't my ex, it wasn't my loving family who I perceived as 'overbearing and annoying', it was me. I'd come from a life of such opportunity and I'd squandered all of it. My life was in shambles and it was MY fault. No one put a drink in my hand or a smoke in my mouth, no one put a gun to my head and stopped me studying and working on myself. I'd done it myself. I was a total dick to everyone around me, even catching the insult to my friend in my throat that wasn't funny in the slightest; just a knee jerk reaction to something he'd said. I was immature in every sense of the word, and I was completely wasting myself, my opportunities and my life.

In that moment, I was truly, truly disgusted with myself. I loathed the life I'd wasted, and then came to another instant realisation. That didn't have to continue. I didn't have to hate myself anymore. I'm young, there was still time to put things in the right place and get it done. I didn't have to keep up with my ex's instagram anymore, I didn't have to drink myself to death to have a good time. I didn't have to spend all of my free time outside of partying playing games and being bored. There was new things to try; a whole life yet lived.

Over the next month, I made changes. I put my study on hold, which was an incredibly hard thing to do. For the first time truly in my selfish life, I sacrificed my own movement forward to take care of the people around me. I got out there, picked up another job. I started trying. I started, very slowly, turning myself back into someone I once was, someone a young me could be proud of. Someone my parents could be proud of. Someone I could be proud of. I stopped drinking for an entire month, which I hadn't done since I'd turned 18. I completely put down the bong. I booked myself into a therapist and paid for it myself, not trying to wrangle money out of my parents to put money into self growth that would go to waste. I wrote down a list of my goals. I signed back up to the gym. I stopped chasing late nights and cheap relationships.

I slipped up at times. Made dumb decisions, I hurt people. But I stopped beating myself up for my own mistakes and trying to blame circumstance or other people. I started holding myself accountable. I started showing regret and appreciation a lot more, I stopped saying 'I'll get around to it'. I started doing.

I started taking care of my dad physically, my brother mentally and giving my Mum a break. I'd clean the house and do the shopping so she could come home from work and just be with my old man. I went outside and learned to properly mow, learned how to hedge, how to weed and lay gravel. I fixed stuff in our house by myself with no direction except for google, I learned how to be financially intelligent, I learned true independence from my family for the first time. I learned that I could laugh louder and bring smile to peoples faces, I learned that within me was the ability to do anything I could put my mind to. I learned that part of my happiness came from spreading joy to those around me and making people smile. I learned to put down the lying, scummy, self loathing part of myself again. The pessimist. I started appreciating the sun more, I started spending more time just helping! I started spending real time with my brother. We became mates again. I started coaching him through his breakdowns and holding him through his panic attacks. I started kissing my mum on the cheek again and bringing my parents a coffee in bed. I started laughing with my friends instead of at them. I started showing pride in my own actions, pride in other's actions. I complimented people's clothes and their laughs, shaking more hands, working harder. I started catching up on all the uni work I'd missed and getting up earlier. I started going for runs. I starting putting greenery on my plate. I started washing up the dishes more, watching movies with my dad when he was awake, or sitting with him while he was reading. I started hanging out with my Mum and treating her to coffee and lunch, getting her out of the house. I started driving my friends around while they drank and I just smiled and laughed and got on the AUX for them. I started writing music and stories again. I put more effort into DnD characters, I stopped being embarrassed about stupid things. I started SMILING. Really, actually, SMILING.

I was going out, and I was partying, but I was drinking within my wallet and I wasn't so miserable when I was mashed. I started dancing and walking girl's to their front doors instead of just dropping them off. I started connecting with the kids at work and I started babysitting my cousins. I went over to my grandparent's house and fixed their technology, spending time with them. I stopped trying to what I considered cool and just starting doing fun shit. I tried bouldering. I tried surfing. I tried playing club footy again. I started hanging out with new people, people completely different to me. I started learning. I started to feel passion for things again. I started training muay thai because I'd always said I would.

I started DOING.

Now, here I am, emotional late at night and just so fucking HAPPY. I'm single and so content with my life and so busy that I have no interest in being in a relationship, I am overwhelmed with pure joy and so truly happy with who I am. I've lost weight. I don't smoke or vape anymore. I'm excited to wake up and go to work and come home and give my mum a hug and hang out with her while she cooks dinner. My dad's back to almost full strength and he's his old happy self, my brother is medicated and learning to become himself again. I spend less time in my room. I spend less time existing and more time living. Me and my friends are even actually going travelling next year, because I'll be graduating! We're doing a roadtrip across America and I'm so excited. I'm going to have so much fun and meet so many new people. Then I'm gonna come home, continue the life I'll be putting on hold temporarily. I'm gonna get a decent job and do my best.

There will be pitfalls, I'm going to have bad days and meet bad people, have bad experiences but I'm stronger now than I ever was before. I can cook for myself. I can clean for myself. I help out around the house. I show my love to people. I write my feelings down and create stories that I share with my friends. I found my passion for being alive again. I've become a rock for someone very close to me that I work with every day to get her life back on track.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't fixed everything in a year. I still struggle with staying ontop of my newfound responsibilities and sometimes I'm lazy and sometimes I make dumb decisions, but I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was. I am always trying to improve, and I can only go up from here.

One day, I'm going to be even happier than I am now. I'm gonna have a wife and kids that I can support through anything they go through, and I'm going to be a fuckin' great dad and dude in general. God fucking damn. I am absolutely ecstatic to be alive.

Life's good in the sunshine.

1 Comment
18:43 UTC


That Sunday feeling, book by the river relaxing, if only it was as picturesque as this

1 Comment
17:48 UTC


Efflorescence, an abstract flower commission painting, print. (OC)

1 Comment
17:18 UTC


How to persuade people into doing things you want them to do?

15:12 UTC






12:09 UTC


I was feeling so down today and baking this cake made my day much better. PS: It got mom approval too

11:57 UTC


Saved a friend from a disastrous real estate transaction.

There used to be a falling down house across the street from me. Some realtor picked it up on a property tax sale and tore it down. Should have been no big deal and just a normal tear down and rebuild, right? Along the way, I noticed it was taking forever to build 2 homes they decided to build on the lot. It's been almost 2 years since construction started, 1 house is complete, the 2nd is about half finished. I'm home with a work injury, so there isn't much else to watch but this build and the boob tube. And of course, my dogs go berserk whenever people show up over there.

Dogs are going off one day and I look to see what set them off. It's a mold abatement company. I didn't really think too much of it, and a year passed before the house was complete. My friend tells me after she has signed the contract that she's moving across the street from me. That's when the alarm bells went off in my head. I let her know to be thorough in her inspection because they'd already treated this brand-new home for mold. Her jaw hits the floor, and she says that the owner/realtor (both are the same person) didn't disclose that.

There are other problems, like none of the dirt from digging in water lines, nor any gravel in preparation for driveways and sidewalks being compacted. None of the cement has rebar to reinforce and strengthen it to stand up to our winters. The un-compacted water line trenches run under both driveways. I guess hauling off piles of dirt wasn't a clue to the builder that it might be a problem later.

Final inspection day comes, and it takes 2 pry bars operated by 2 fairly large men to get the access to the crawl space open because it's so wet in the crawl space it has made the wood swell quite a bit. Not only is the crawlspace infested with mold, but against code, the crawl space wasn't built with any ventilation. So my friend got out of the contract, and the owner/realtor will likely lose her real estate license for not making proper disclosures.

Yes, it sucks that she has to look for another house, but she's so happy she didn't get stuck in a mold infested trap. And funnily enough, you can hear fans running from over there 24/7 in both houses.

21:52 UTC


Happy my wife has agreed to quit smoking.

Me and my wife have been together 20 years in October and married 16 in November. As long as I've known her she's been a smoker. I was a smoker myself. I finally kicked the habit three years ago. Bur my wife has been incredibly stubborn on the subject. Today we talked for a while and she decided to take steps to quit. I couldn't be happier with this decision. I'm aware that this will not he easy but she's at least willing. And I'm gonna stand by her and take all the crap that comes with quitting. If it means she can improve her health and I can have her longer I am more than willing to be her punching bag for a few weeks. I'm very proud because she really didn't want to do this.

19:33 UTC


An act of digital kindness I'll never forget

I'm working on this AI chatbot app for a college project, and yesterday I encountered some errors causing the whole app to stop functioning and with the submission deadline just days away, I was freaking out. I've spent the last two days trying every fix I could think of but nothing worked. I was honestly starting to lose hope that I'd be able to get this thing running again in time.

This morning, I posted about the issue on a tech forum, desperate for any help I could get. That's when this dude reached out - he'd dealt with a similar error before and offered to walk me through solving it. He spends like 4-5 hours meticulous hours going through my code until we finally isolate and fix the bug. The guy even shared some of his own confidential API keys with me, just to ensure my app could run properly.

A total stranger devoting half his day to helping a random guy on the internet get unstuck. He's got his own shit to worry about, but he still took the time and made the effort, simply out of the goodness of his heart. We're from completely different countries, he doesn't know anything about me , but he came through in the clutch.

It's easy to think the internet is just a cesspool, but then you connect with someone who reminds you that good people are out there. You just have to be lucky enough to find them every once in a while. Somehow I managed to cross paths with this generous soul and now we're internet buddies. It's small acts of kindness like that which restores your faith in humanity.

17:57 UTC


Cheeky piglet made with love and lots of tiny dots

17:55 UTC


I've been battling depression, PTSD, insomnia, post Concussion Syndrome, etc since 2015. Saw myslef in the mirror and a little happiness came to the surface.

15:41 UTC


As promised yesterday, here is the video of me playing with the Braid Supervising Little human and his sister🥰 We did this like 20+ times😁

15:33 UTC


Why you are deteriorating your health by not saying ‘NO’

07:07 UTC


I have very big things and am very happy about it.

Tw - self harm talk

I used to struggle very heavily with self harm. It used to be an urge and I would just cut and cut. BUT after a while of work and therapy, along with my friends and working on myself. I have now been clean of ANY form of self harm for 7 MONTHS!!! I know that to most people this doesn't seem like much, but as someone who has attempted in the past this is MASSIVE for me and I cried after just thinking about it. I don't even know if this is the right subreddit but I thought it was nice and I wanted to share it somewhere so this is where I picked. :))

06:30 UTC


I'm glad that I can make people laugh so often

Being funny and having a sense of humor and quick wit is something that's always mattered to me. Whenever somebody tells me I'm funny or laughs at my jokes it makes me feel really good.

I tend to have kinda shitty self-esteem so being told to my face something like that with any kind of regularity means a lot. It's nice to be secure in something that matters to me.

01:48 UTC


What made your day or week better than it started?

For me, it was my employees buying me lunch from my favorite place (who told me their card reader was down, when I called my preorder in earlier) and I get to work to several cards saying random stuff about being "the best boss ever", "please don't leave us" and. Someone offered me to "name a price for me to stay" Y'all I'm only going on vacation for 5 days. I'm coming back. Here I am munching my favorite lunch that arrived about 20 minutes after I received these cards and a coffee mug that says "my favorite employee bought me this mug" and I'm bright red and beaming that they (very seriously) don't want me to go on vacation because they adore me. I feel loved. 😊

21:07 UTC


coo slurping on some Dew! Hope it makes you smile

17:09 UTC


What to do when you’re finally happy but have no one to share it with?

15:16 UTC


My cousin celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary.There i met these two tiny humans who were fascinated by my dreads.The little girl wanted to braid my hair while her little bro was supervising her braiding technique, with his arms on his waist like an adult .This moment was clicked by her father:))

14:38 UTC


Took 4 years doing night classes while working full time but finished my Masters of Public Health today!

It was a cheap one but decided to try real Champaign to celebrate

21:43 UTC


Got the promotion at work I’ve been working towards for the 11 months.

Hey All - Just wanted to tell someone other than since I don’t really have any friends.

Got the promotion at work I’ve been working towards for the last 11 months. Over 125 interviews (internal postings) and I got selected. Beat out very capable individuals, some with 5-7 years of seniority.

Pretty damn happy. Giving my all each and every day, without exception, finally paid off for me, for once.

19:24 UTC


Celebrating the Achievement of Obtaining My Driver’s License After Passing the Road Test!

How old were you when you passed your road test? I am 20 years old and about to turn 21 next month, and I passed just yesterday morning! I have my driver’s license! 🚗🎉😄

13:55 UTC


Got an awesome compliment. Twice in a row!

A few days ago my co worker complimented me on my hair. She said that it's in perfect condition and that she loves it. Yesterday I met up with my dearest friends, and my friend's girlfriend told me how she was chatting with her friend some time ago, and they both agreed on how I looked like I came straight out of a movie last time we met. Ngl, lately I didn't feel good about my appearance, so this really lifted my spirit. I thought I was going to melt both of these times lol.

10:36 UTC


Just lounging around with an old vinyl record player and enjoying this beautiful Saturday morning

1 Comment
15:12 UTC

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