My girlfriend (22) has a difficulty naming anyone she doesn't like. We have been in the army together, and I can without hesitation name several people from our common experience which would be natural not to like. Furthermore, she seems to consistently see only the good side of people. She has many friends and befriends almost anyone. I am more reserved regarding what comes to friendships. I have a couple of long term close friendships. She has a couple really close ones, and dozens (really, dozens) of friends otherwise. She seems inable to see peoples real intentions.

No, she hasn't been taken advantage of, per se. Not straight forward. Though I know she once slept with a guy (before commencing our relationship), believing him to be of good nature - a nice guy. However, I know he really is a manipulative dick (common acquaintance). He puts on a big show, especially around girls, as this very empathic type. Although, I seem to see through this kind of fake behaviour quite often. And I would think it is because of my temperament, or sceptical attitude towards other people. Of course there will be some fake positives, nonetheless. Regarding this guy I mentioned, I thought uppon my first meeting with him; "Ok, this is a fake douchbag" ... although, she would NEVER think that thought. She regards this one guy as a fling, nothing more. However, she has said explicitly that he was a nice guy. Maybe it is fake people, or "two faced people" I have a problem with, not so much my girlfriends naivety regarding peoples intentions. I hope I make sense.

I think she lacks to some extent the cognitive mechanism involved in calling out peoples true intentions. I myself, is somewhat hyperactive in that area. So I have almost the complementary difficulty of liking people to hers difficulty of not liking people. This annoys me, quite a bit. I have been trying to search the web in search of people that can point to the same experience. I couldn't find what I was searching for. I am not searching to "fix her", but I don't know. Should I try to persuade her over to see that she may not be too good at calling out peoples real intentions? What good may it do? Could it be for the best if I just accepted her "naive" attitude towards people? Please help me, pherhaps a good reference to an article, a seemingly good advice or just some thoughts on the phenomenon. (Sorry, english is not my first language).

I'm 22. I've suffered multiple traumatic events in my life, including: random physical assault, sexual assault (I'm a male), dog hit by car in front of me when I was a teen, psychedelic bad trip which severed my relationship with my brother. I always white-knuckle the pain, I constantly exercise, I meditate, etc. and I am highly functional. Despite this, I still feel immense pain some days.

From this post, I would love if anyone could offer me any sorts of closure on where I can either do further research into what's going on with me, it would be so highly appreciated.

I'm at a point where I've passed my "tipping point" in regards to trauma. I have a hard time understanding myself now, and my current ideology is to simply "trust in what is, it is for a reason".

I am emotional like I've never been, I developed bad obsessions related to trauma from assault, and I fear relationships and friendships.

In the same time, I am spiritual like I've never been. I truly think things on a spiritual plane now which I just never have before. Like--I've witnessed an emotional spectrum in myself that I never knew I had. For this I am grateful. I swear some days I've experienced higher levels of consciousness after meditation, where my issues begin to seem crystal clear. Unfortunately, this does not hold.

Anyways, my main point is: I am absolutely fine some days. Some days I meditate and have complete crystal clarity over my situation. No obsessions, happy, etc.

Other days, like today, the suffering comes out. I feel pain. Straight, raw pain. Sometimes it seems like it's related to a specific trauma, but then I feel pain without thoughts, and I just don't know.

I can barely even describe my headspace nowadays. Like, I'm absolutely fine, I'm on top of my mental situation, but I simply do not understand myself or the way I operate anymore. Some days I suffer, some days I'm fine, some days I'm in-between, some days I have clarity, other days it seems like issues build up and release and it's not under my control. I cannot control my confidence anymore, I am either confident, or not. It feels as if I've almost lost a sense of control, completely, and so I do not try to control. I simply trust in what is.

Maybe someone can grasp what I'm attempting to explain; but no worries if not, I'm very aware this sounds all over the place.

edit: To add one more key detail, I may gain a revelation regarding something, go a few weeks in my "new headspace", and then trauma/suffering builds up, seems to purge from myself, and then I've gained a new revelation, and carry on my new way free of suffering, until, rinse and repeat, I'm suffering again. It almost feels as if I'm constantly changing. Constantly grasping new understandings, and constantly finding new problems which must be fixed. I wonder if this is an illusion, something my mind just does. Or, I wonder if I'm healing.

Optimistically, I can say that I have improved much compared to say, six months ago--at least I am used to feelings of despair now, it doesn't scare me like it used to. I'm just wondering if anyone can explain this phenomenon.

I often see comments from people online saying that someone like Britney Spears is possibly stuck mentally and emotionally in another era when her trauma happened. They use this to explain why she still dresses like it’s the early 2000s and why she possibly acts the way she appears to. I don’t know anything, I’m just curious about this topic of being “stunted”. Can someone provide any information? Is it even a real thing?

Hello,

I have a big problem with myself and it is that when I get an idea... I RUN. I will sometimes talk myself into trouble. I'll talk about themost mundane stuff. Today at work, I brought up Brexit. Why? I don't know! I just don't know how to put the BRAKE in my head! I don't want to take medications, but I already am trying Lithium Orotate 10mg (which doesn't really help)

People say I am "hypomanic" at baseline. I love it because I am very productive... but I'm scared I will get myself into big trouble because of my inability to regulate my thoughts and filter what I want to say.... Please help...

This is a very silly question but I'm interested in other people's opinion. What do you think about piggyback rides among couples (at home/ when nobody sees/in public places). Is it okay or not? Is it maybe appropriate only for parent-child relationship?

She never allows the child to answer questions or speak for herself in general. When away with grandparents or at friends house mom calls her and says things like "Don't you miss me? I miss you" which leads to the child wanting to go home, and be very timid. What is this called?

Whenever I try to do any of these things I'm told to stop but when the bad kids do this no one says anything. When I try to fight back when I'm being bullied I'm told I better not fight back or if I win the fight the other person gets mad and barks at me because they didn't think I could beat them or that I had it in me but when other people fight them they don't do that. I don't get it. Why can't I do this without being told to stop or I'll get hurt?

Something about me is changed. Last 2016 I was a really different person, I'm always confident, always talk with other people, being the first person to approach people, and funny. Now I feel like I'm always tired and I really feel like I'm lonely. When I meet up with my old friends, I really felt something different. My sns barely got any notifications when last 2016 my phone always got texts, calls or notifications. And right now, I want that version of me I want to be socialized, but I don't know where to start. Please help me :---((((

Greetings!

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I recently noticed that I sometimes made slightly rude jokes that may offend some people more than others. Particularly women - I'm a guy and I'll joke around women like I do with guys and well, it doesn't translate. I think it may be worth seeing a psychologist to try to change my behavior. Would anyone have any advice as to whether I should seek help from a Cognitive Behavior Specialist, regular Psychologist, or someone else?

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Many thanks!

To begin I’d like to explain our friend group. Some of our group have been friends since 5th grade (Cole, Hunter, Nathan, Rio, CJ) others came in 6th and 7th grade. (Davey, JP) and we are now all in 12th grade, we are in our opinions the best friend group ever assembled. In the past couple years we’ve become gayer lol if that makes sense.

So I always assumed that all male friend groups had some kind of “homoerotic” aspect to male friendship. Particularly in teenage years. I thought it was normal to joke about gay things with your friends. But lately, I have begun to notice that maybe our friend group is a little unique.

To preface this though, none of us have actually ever engaged in homosexual activity with one another. By that I mean, we all have girlfriends and watch straight pornography. None of us have had gay sex, nor seen each other's penis. However…

We have from time to time, slapped each other's asses (at times aggressively and repeatedly). To make each other uncomfortable (and be funny) we have all at least once touched another’s thy and gone as high on the thigh as possible before the other says stop. Here is an example:

One day in band Cole put his hand on Jp’s thy, and looks into jp’s eyes and slowly starts moving his hand up his thy. In which we are used to it and when Cole got to the top of jp’s thigh he stopped almost at his penis and jp said no balls you won’t, and cole put his hand over his penis over the pants. We have all probably done this countless times to each other.

We also dry hump each other (a lot) we think it's more than normal but continue to do it. We all laugh and think its funny and none of us get any pleasure out of it. But at prom on the dance floor we were grinding on each other more than our girl's friends were LOL I guess we just think its funny. (the girls think what we do is pretty gay but also laugh and they still love us)

So pretty much we are wondering if it's normal to be doing these things, we are not concerned about it and probably won't stop but just want peoples opinion on what we do. This was and if you guys need more information and stories we are more than happy to give some there's A LOT. If there are any professionals out there specializing or studying teenage male behavior and want to contact us let us know, I’m sure we are curveballs in your data.

That is, I have encountered people who say one thing and do another. And when I question them on this, or call them out, they react with hostility and outrage.

AFAIC if you don't keep your word, and/or your actions betray your words, you can expect to be interrogated.

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I hate to be sexist but TBH I encounter this behaviour more frequently among women than men. It might be availability bias but nevertheless....

Hello. So my whole inspiration for this post comes from being fired from a job two days ago. And this happened because of my own responsibility. I felt like not going to work so I messaged one of my bosses that I made a deal with other one that I can skip work that day which I didn't do. I lied, I skipped work and then in the report I wrote as if I was at work. This kind of behavior stems right from as early as I remember. When I was, I'd say, in first class primary school, lies already have started to my parents or to someone else just to save my ass from danger, just to take an easier route.

This whole situation, from my POV, is entangled in these reasons:
I have overdeveloped Instant gratification type behavior. I almost always give in short term pleasure while knowing that it'd be way better to do something else. With my conscious mind I know I want other results but yet at the very same time I have conflicting inner feelings that kind of pushes me to choose short-term actions. Quite often (more often than i'd like) I choose short-term and satisfy my Instant Gratification side.
I have underdeveloped Discipline, executive and self control. When I think, I know what, at least partially, I want for myself now and in the future. I know what'd be better if I'd do certain things based on information and experience i've gathered throughout my life. Yet I keep choosing other behaviors. Sometimes I feel like an addict that can't fully control himself.

This kind of behavior and reaping what i have sowed brought me to a lot of self-examination and analysis. I want to understand my own behavior, why I do such things and how to change it.

I have very low self-confidence which means that whenever I commit to something, I already know that at some point I will fail and i have no "Manliness" in such regards. If I commit, I say "I will try, I'll do what I can". And I know that probably there isn't a perfect path where I would overcome my patterns and habits without any failures and mistakes but yet I fear them and kinda give into them.

Now to the last part- I know my mistakes. I know what should I be doing. I'll give an example- I'm way too much playing with my computer. I'm not exercising enough. Often I miss out on sleep. I don't eat as healthy as i'd want to. I rarely try out new things. I don't give myself enough time on my own hobbies that'd really mean something to me rather than just purely entertaining myself on gaming.

Even yesterday- I said I'll go to the gym today but today I woke and felt like "Who Am I kidding...?".

Maybe I got used to behaving on the way I feel rather on the way I know. But this is the main dilema. My lack of discipline, procrastination and all that lies in the gap of "Knowing vs doing".

So what do I or other people have to do? Is there anything besides "just do it"? Am I missing something? Or there's nothing to know?

It feels like I'm seeking for some knowledge, wisdom or any piece of information that'd finally allow me to start working on myself and because of that I may be highly delusional. Because if I know 100% that there's no other way rather than doing those actions, I just HAVE TO DO IT. I JUST HAVE TO. Yet I don't feel like doing it (even though I'd love to have those future results) and I don't do because I don't feel like it.

What do you think?

Ok this might sound a little terrible but please read through before commenting. I love my mother very much, but she walks heavy, talks a lot and very loudly, and constantly interrupts when people are talking. We live in a small house 2 bedrooms, my fiance and I and our 2 daughters who are 8 and 10. Things were already cramped but she is my mom. My mom was having trouble finding a place to live (she had an apartment in her sisters house but didn't care for her nephew when he moved in) so we made an offer that our couch was always welcome to her. Well she showed up 2-3 weeks before the earliest time we offered (WITH THE FLU) which we all caught and no forewarning of her early arrival from 10 hours away in another state. We dealt with this as best we could. My mother is inconsiderate but she is by far the sweetest person you could ever meet. Now my fiance and I like a clean quiet home, she likes to leave cluttered messes throughout the house. Wherever she drops her things is where they stay, my livingroom has dirty clothes everywhere and candy wrappers along with dirty dishes. I have rearranged my home and bought new furniture to give her space and still everything is on top of the furniture rather inside it. This is all background on the situation. We work from home and keep odd hours due to our business, our sleep schedule is different. My mother STOMPS when she walks, vibrating our entire home in an echoing boom that outshines the construction directly across from our house. I have tried to say things nicely put in more throw rugs and still she slams her feet into the ground as she walks. I tell her we are working and she slowly slams her feet. We are getting married and I am dealing with the diagnosis of lifelong but treatable genetic illnesses, so there is an elevation in stress, but her inconsiderate behavior has become taxing, we will be in the midst of an important conversation or working or trying to unwind and she speaks over us without pause or hesitation to see if we are doing anything. I love my mom and I know she doesnt have any place she WANTS to go. She is also my only family. How do I approach her without causing tension or upsetting her about her behaviors that are truly bothering us? My fiance rarely leaves our bedroom anymore, he loves my mom but she doesnt know the meaning of quiet. I cant even sit in our mudroom for 5 minutes without her popping up 3-4-5 times. I'm going crazy, no privacy no quiet no alone time. It's been 3 months now and its about a year before we can buy a bigger home which was the original plan before she showed up. Big house with her own section.

This post Made me wonder how can people act so aggressive as if the were being attacked, or as if they are at risk. What is going on in their brains that justifies name calling or aggressiveness ?

I notice that people hum/sing when they are nervous ? Like they would randomly start humming a tune when they are stressed. Is it just me that notices this ?

So i am 18 now, and i used to be very introverted (still am to a degree) but i have gotten better at using my social skills as i got older.

Now there is this behaviour about me that i just dont understand, where normally i am somewhat akward and dont say much funny stuff or anything really, but somehow sometimes i feel a flip almost like a switch and i become increadibly good at talking, i make everyone laugh i become incredible with women (literally happens everytime the "switch flips") And just turn into this behemoth of social situations even tough normally i am kinda akward.

Does anyone one know what it is, when it happens its like thoughts of what to say just pop into my head and i nail every conversation. And most importantly how do i trigger it? i Have noticed that sometimes talking to people for a prolongues period causes it but not always.

Hello

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I'm currently struggling to find literature which may give an answer to a question of my research...

Is there any literature to suggest:
The reluctancy (or standing opposed to) shown when asked to surrender use of a particular product/tool suggests dependency (or a submissive relationship) towards a product/tool (in regards to a particular practice).

Could somebody please point me in the direction of literature which articulates or explores this topic?
Many thanks

Serious question here, hope it doesn't sound like a complaint. I'm inspired to ask because my daughter (who takes after my wife) seems to feel the need to speak all the time, in almost one long stream of consciousness. An hour long car ride, and I've literally counted no more than 17 seconds between breaks in the silence, even without a response from me. My wife has learned more control over the years, but when she gets excited, she does the same thing. They both just love to talk... always.

My daughter also turns simple things like a sneeze into an opportunity to call attention to herself (like laughing at it and then looking for other people to notice). I feel like this type of thing is somewhat related.

So I'm a bit more of an introvert, and I don't really understand why they have the need to speak so often. I enjoy having mental space to myself, so I don't have much frame of reference otherwise.

I'm quite curious what is going on in their psyche.

A homeless (I think) woman was standing in the middle of the side walk in front of me, like she was waiting for me? When I moved to go around her, she walked in front of me towards me while pushing her cart. So I stopped walking. Then she said my combat boots were cool and then she called me a murderer. Another girl walked past us with her bike and the woman said that she was a samurai bc of the way her hair was. Then I ate a chip bc I was eating a bag of chips on the way home and she said oh must be nice. I'm freezing and you have that hoodie. I am even more confused at this point so I just stood there. And then she asked what I would like to do and I told her I would like to go around her. Then she said ok but you go on that side only. So I walked around her on that side and she moved her cart to look at me. Then we went our separate ways and she told me to never come back? But I live on the street? It's the way I always take to the grocery store?

I'm having trouble understanding this behavior and was wondering if those on here can explain it?

So, for as long as i can remember i've always liked to be alone and quite.

I normally just sit in my room and surf the web, make some music, play some games and all that. I don't hate getting out of my room, but i dont really wanna leave my room.

I just hate people, that's my theory. I like to just, not speak, it's calming and it doesn't cause trouble or inconvinience or anything else, i think i like it because i can't really make anyone happy/sad/angry etc. I just like being alone and being me, i don't feel like i wan't to get close to other people, not out of fear or anything like that. It just feels comfy and enjoyable.

But when i have to go outside i only go for food or to an obligatory meeting. don't get me wrong, i'm not a basement dweller, i just don't want to see, hear or interact with other people.

And again, i'm not afraid of saying anything stupid or anything like that, if people get mad or sad or happy or [Insert Emotion Here] i couldn't care less, it's annoying actually to be blunt.

I just feel like if i have to be someone else for people to accept me, then fuck people.

Is this a bad thing or am i just deprived of human interaction?

I was talking to a friend about reward vs punishment as a form of encouragement, such as in sports, in school, etc. Neither of us were quite committed to either side, but we were hashing it out. We were openly investigating the idea of reward vs punishment in sports, in school, etc., and which is more effective in improving performance of players, students, etc.
My question is, however, not about which is better, but if they are equivalent if done in a certain way. For example, if one player on a sports team runs a lap around the field the fastest, is the result, in theory, equivalent, if that one player is rewarded with, say, more field time, as it is if, say, the rest of the team were made to do 50 pushups each, but the player who ran the fastest lap in this scenario didn't get more field time? I suppose there are many variables here, including whether more field time is as desirable as 50 pushups is undesirable, but presuming they quality of reward = the quality of punishment, is rewarding the winner with a positive reward the same as punishing (so to speak) everybody except for that player with a punishment?
The example above of a sports team is just that, an example. This can apply to everything from sports, to education, and even economic policy. For example, with regard to a carbon tax (another topic we talked about), 'punishing' those who pollute through a carbon tax (whether we're for or against that is irrelevant here) can be looked at as the equivalent of those athletes who didn't win the race doing pushups, whereas financial subsidies for people and companies who actively invest in clean technology can be, in this scenario, the equivalent of rewarding the athlete who ran the fastest lap with more field time.

To be clear, the question is NOT about reward vs punishment being more effective, but whether or not their inverses (rewarding the winner vs punishing the losers) are equivalent FOR THE PERSON WHO WINS. In other words, is being the only one NOT having to do pushups as much incentive as being the only one who gets more field time, assuming that those two rewards are of equal value to eliminate some of the variables here.

Is there a formal name for the phenomenon when you start to mistrust a source (e.g. a News Outlet) in general because they have made objective errors in stories where you have domain expertise, and so you come to assume they're probably making mistakes in stories where you don't have the domain expertise to distinguish right/wrong.

Tried to hunt around but just keep pulling up "fake news" stories and articles...