We had our wedding two months ago and just got back from honeymoon. I'm just catching up on all the cards and gifts now. Most people have given something, but I have three fairly close friends who I can't find gifts for. We primarily asked for cash for our honeymoon fund, so a lot has come in cards and checks. We're all in our mid to late 30s, professionals, and fairly high earners (6 figures+). I don't really care about the money tbh, but I'm worried that I've misplaced their card or gift somewhere...the house is still pretty chaotic. These are also all friends that I'm almost postive intended to give something, and I think would be a bit mortified if I didn't receive their gift.

What's the suggested etiquette here?

Edit: thanks -- sounds like the consensus is to not say anything. How would people recommend handling thank you cards? I'd like to send one to everyone for attending, regardless of whether they got us anything. Should we just keep the card focused on their attendance?

I have a little brother who's 12 and will be around 15 when I get married. I was wondering what I can have him do so he's included in the wedding. The ring bearer is already decided plus I want him to feel included/ special as my other siblings are assigned other tasks. I've asked him what he wanted and he just said, "what ever you want.". Which like I love but also I wanted his opinion. So I was thinking if there's enough ideas I could have him pick from a list. Thank you guys so much in advance!

My dad passed away over ten years ago so I’m going to be dancing with my mom for that dance. Just looking for suggestions because I am so stumped. We’re classic rock kind of gals so anything in that category would help us :)

Hello hello! As we come up to the end of the year, I thought it would be a good time to share some updates and seek out advice from the community. Let's start with updates.

First and foremost, the FAQ is live. It's been a long time coming (too long, I think), and I'm really happy to get this live. This is just a first pass, and I've no doubt that it will grow with time. I'm open to splitting things into different pages of the wiki if that's easier to read as well. If you have any advice on common questions I've missed, please let me know. It may not look like much, but it's taken quite a bit of time.

Second, I'll be making more templated removal reasons redirecting people to the FAQ and the search function, so please do anticipate these in the near future.

This is where I need your input:

• Should FAQ posts be redirected to the FAQ via a comment, or removed entirely? Think "How much is a good gift?" or "Where can I buy a bridesmaid dress?" We get ~30-50 of these posts each week.
• What about feelings-based FAQ. So like "I'm sad my wedding wasn't perfect. What do I do?" We get a few a day.
• What about easily searchable feelings-based FAQ. This would be "Does anybody else feel this way?" Same, a few each day.

Following on that, I'd love to get input on a few other points.

• There's been a lot of posts about family drama here, where the central issue is drama, but it's drama about a wedding. Is this an appropriate forum for this kind of question?
• I've been thinking to redirect posts asking for vendors in a specific location to either the search bar or a local sub. What do you think?
• Should "What dress is this?" or "Help me find a dupe" posts be redirected to r/weddingdress?
• Corporate accounts-- I've noticed an uptick in corporate accounts on this sub. Should they be allowed to comment here even though the exist in service of promoting a brand and drumming up business? Should I mute those accounts so they can read without participating?

Finally, if there are any other issues you'd like to discuss, or fixes you have for the sub, please bring them up here. I love a good (respectful) conversation! Next on my list are:

• Better and clearer removal reasons
• Automatic comments on common issues
• Maybe FAQ resectioning if this is too hard to see/use

Does anyone else get to the point or had a day or two where they’re so stressed with wedding planning , struggling to find the right venue, right price, and trying to please everyone that you want to attend with dates, location, accommodation etc, that you feel like you just want to give up? It’s helpful having close family and friends weigh in their opinion but sometimes you just wanna scream as it feels like they’re telling you what to do. Or is it just me???

I absolutely loathe my wedding gallery. I am the heaviest I’ve been in my whole life-and I’ve never been thin. My husband’s PTSD was flaring up, and just at a glance, he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but next to me, and that’s not his fault: the guy is just not comfortable with cameras and crowds of people and I don’t blame him for that. If anything, it’s on me that I pushed for having a big event, especially one that I feel like set me up for disappointment anyway. I look like an anthropomorphic hippopotamus trying to play princess and he looks like I twisted his arm into showing up for the spectacle.

A happy one, but a hippo nonetheless.

Has anyone ever considered getting re-shoots done? I’m fine keeping 90% of the photos with other people. But the ones with just us matter the most, and those are the ones that make me sad inside when I see them. I suspect some time in a beautiful place without an audience and a hundred people pulling us in different directions might result in more relaxed, authentic photos.

If I sent a shower gift of a contribution to the honeymoon fund, because it’s listed as the couple’s top choice, do they get a notification as soon as it is sent or does The Knot save all those until the wedding date? Curious if I need to delicately ask if it was received before disputing a charge or complaining to The Knot.

Unexpectedly, I have had to reschedule my big day, and change the time of the ceremony. It’s hard to explain the circumstances for the change of date/time, but originally it was planned for a Saturday afternoon, now a Sunday morning.

I cannot make any drastic changes in the reschedule, as some guests have already booked tickets/taken time off work. Hence, the next morning.

One of the biggest issues is that it is scheduled for the middle of summer, and will run across the middle of the day. I don’t mind doing a lunch instead of a dinner, but I am so worried about the heat (I am in a VERY hot country).

Other than that, it’s also just not what I had always imagined for my wedding day. I’m already so stressed about the preparations, and it will now have to be so early in the morning. I have guests who were also going to help with setup, who live hours from the venue. Now I don’t know if they can make it in time.

I also feel like an idiot because I have just mailed out the invitations and most of them haven’t even arrived and I will have to message each guest, informing them of the date change. On top of that, I had already let my close family know a different tentative date previously, so for them this will be the second date change.

I have been a wreck today, and tbh I am dreading the day, which is so awful; I should be excited and not this stressed.

So please let me know about your successful Summer morning weddings!

One of my best buddies from high school is getting married on Saturday and I still haven’t decided on a gift. My conflict: he and his to-be wife do not have a registry, and he couldn’t give me an answer on what he’d want.

I’m apprehensive about just sliding him cash; I want the gift to have some meaning to it, along with the fact that I’m still a college student who doesn’t have a ton of money while he is an established electrician.

I was thinking a nice bottle of mezcal or tequila and an emergency $25 “for a future pizza delivery.” Thoughts?

Hello engaged Redditors,

I just recently got engaged and I am super excited to spend the rest of my life with my human. We’re both 29. The only „issue“ that immediately came to my mind is that i don’t really have a „best friend“. A few years ago, I had plenty of friends that I used to hang out with regularly but after moving, covid, getting older etc. I rarely see my friends.

I‘d say I have 6 girlfriends that I do really love but I do go without speaking to some of them for like 6 months. If we meet again, it’s as if no times passed however. I speak to 2-3 of them weekly or every other day through phone chats and social media. I considered asking my friend N (f30) to be my MOH but I‘m scared that she will decline or will agree but think it’s awkward. We see each other maybe 5-6 times a year as we have both busy life’s even though we like only 30 minutes apart. I know being a MOH is stressful and expensive and I don’t know if she would happily do it. And no, I don’t care about fancy dresses or expensive bachelorette trips. My fiancé and I want an inexpensive as we want to splurge on the honeymoon. It’s just gonna be a courthouse wedding and a fancy dinner at an upscale restaurant. Not a super planned out event.

Has anyone had similar issues? If so, what have you done?

I’m getting married in a church so not your modern venue with a bridal suite. We are most likely renting rooms at a nearby hotel which is nice and I’m thinking of getting the suite. However it is not that big and don’t know if it could fit all the girls. We will likely get hair/makeup done at a salon nearby, so do I just have my getting ready pictures taken there? Another friend suggested I ask if the hotel has a conference room to get us all ready in but I fear it’s not pretty enough for photos. I’ve also debated getting ready at my childhood home which has enough space and my parents bathroom is all white/updated and could be nice? Thoughts? What has everyone done?

Hello everyone. My fiance and I have just started planning our wedding. We would really like to make it white tie dress code, but we do not know if that is too much of a hassle for guests.

We do not want a big wedding at all. I dont want people to stress about having to get formal gowns and such. Is white tie too much to ask for?

Hi, I’m French and my partner is American, it’s been 1 year and a half that we live in Spain in Madrid and we would like to get married here. We’ve heard that we can get married in Spain, but we need two years of residency, but sometimes they can tolerate less if one of them is member of the EU Does someone had the same situation??

Hi! I really can’t think of anything. My brother in law is getting married soon but his fiancé and him are not going to be living together for a bit while he finishes medical school. What should I get them?

Edit: no registry for this one

ALL. I am 12 days away. TWELVE DAYS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I've been planning this dream day for 14 months and it is basically here. I'm pre-emptively sad that the planning is almost over and that my wedding will be in the past. But I cannot wait!

I was laid off recently from work, with the holidays and everything, I've been down and in the trenches and struggling to get the last minute details done. Literally all I care about is wearing my dress though 😂😂

Don't have any questions - just wanting to share my excitement. Any wedding date twins on here??

I have one sibling and he is getting married. They have a destination wedding. We’re both in our thirties.

I was originally thinking of $1k. Then my husband suggested $2k or $5k since I only have one sibling.

For a quick background, I went low contact with my dad’s side of the family 5 years ago with the exception of Grandma. Two of my cousin on that side, A and C are getting married next year in May and August respectively. Last week, my parents got the save the date for A’s wedding. We did not get one. I mentioned it to my mom and we kind of joked about but she mentioned it to my dad, who mentioned it to Grandma who yelled at my aunt and cousin. When I got to my parent’s house for thanksgiving, the first thing grandma says to me is that they didn’t have my address (we’ve lived in the same house for 6 years) so they addressed my parent’s save the date to the whole family and we were in fact invited. I waived it off until grandma brought it up again during dinner and I kind of went off saying I was still friends with A and C on Facebook and either of them could have messaged me for my address or Aunt still talks to my dad once a week and she could’ve asked him because won’t they need it for C’s wedding in the fall? Grandma realized they weren’t actually planning on inviting us and just covered their asses. If we do in fact get an invitation in a few weeks, should we go? I have nothing against these two specific cousins, just their mom and two other brothers who won’t be there.

Edit to add: I was never planning on going until grandma made it a big deal. I was totally fine not being invited, the wedding is in southern Indiana and we’re from northern Illinois so we would need to get a hotel and sitters and that whole thing I don’t want to deal with. Do I want to go, no but I’m feeling pressured to by my dad and grandma

Hello all, So, my fiance and I are getting married on June 20, 2025. One of our very close friends is having her wedding in India on May 25, 2025. In order for us to be there, we would have to fly out on May 21st and return May 28th, so we would be gone for about 7 days. We have both been so excited for our friends wedding and it’s literally been a dream of ours to attend an Indian wedding. I am certain we can figure out costs/getting the PTO but that leads me to wonder if traveling internationally is a bad idea when it’s so close to our own wedding.

Upon looking at our schedule no appointments should fall into the time frame that we would be gone, but I am still weary as I know things can pop up last minute.

Is it stupid and reckless to travel so far less than a month before our wedding?

Edit: Hmong bride price starts at 5k, and can go up if the daughter has a college degree, financially successful, whatever pros she has can raise the price. It can also go down too depending on the situation. In Indian culture, it’s evidently more than that. J have explained to her that I am still keeping parts of our culture in my future and my fiancé js also doing the same as well but we are not gonna follow with every single cultural custom. I assume she worries on her status and words gets around, and also the aspect that this is the time where she can call the shots on my “cultural wedding” in dictating. In Hmong weddings, the bride and groom just exists while the “adults”/elders discuss and negotiate.

I’m a Hmong female and my fiancé is Indian. In the Hmong culture with weddings, groom pays for the bride, whereas in Indian weddings, dowry is reversed and bride pays the groom. We both do not want to have an Indian or Hmong wedding with dowry involved. Our families are Christian, and we both desire to just hold a wedding at a church before a pastor. My Hmong mother disapproves of this idea and demands for us to follow through with everything (bride price, alcohol, $$$$ etc) whereas his Indian mother will not reinforce the Indian wedding or dowry and supports our decision.

I have asked my mother to be fair in this as well as his family will not reinforce dowry, but she will not back down on it. My family likes him a lot, and his family also approves of me.

How can I approach this subject again? Will my side of my family split and give me backlash and not talk to me anymore? My mother has straight out said that our culture is more important than his own, and more than our belief as a Christian, etc. This initial discussion lead to a heavy argument over the value of our culture. I had asked her if this is the only thing that identifies me as “Hmong” and nothing else does, and she said yes, but I know there is more to my culture than this bride price and Hmong wedding.

Have any of you dealt with this, and what is your best approach? My fiancé and I are trying to do everything as rightfully as possible, but we do not want to do the Hmong wedding.

My fiancé has a sister who I am not close with and I have a step sister who I am also not super close with. I prefer to have my bridal party be my 4 closest friends and then invite our sisters and other girlfriends to the bridal party and bachelorette parties.

I don’t think my step sister will be upset if she is not a bridesmaid, but my fiancé’s sister will be. She was very upset when she was not included in her grandfather’s wedding (he remarried recently) and her female cousin was.

Also, my fiancé and his sister are not close but I know he would appreciate if I included her in my bridal party.

I am not sure what to do. I am not a huge fan of my future SIL and we are not close, but I do want to include her in other aspect such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I would also be fine having her stand behind me on the alter as an honorary bridesmaid.

How/what do I tell her to lessen any hurt feelings?

Edit: honorary bridesmaid was poor word choice and insulting. Either way, there would be some compromise and a conversation to be had with her prior to including her. For those asking, she is negative and self absorbed. I worry this will affect my emotions leading up to and on our wedding day.

Living in Ontario specifically the GTA I have been looking high and low for the stress. I saw it and tried it on at another store. The price tag was around $5000!

I obviously don’t want this one as I want something similar because this is just out of my budget! I want a big ball gown, long train, sparkle in skirt, with cascading lace going down and beading, basque waist line - and honestly I’m okay with whatever else. I just don’t want Messy tulle, more tacked down and put together even a heavier material like organza and tulle just not looking for that whimsical look, more romantic I guess?

Essence of Australia, Morilee and Justin Alexander do not have what I’m looking for….im hoping to try it on so any store in the GTA I’ll travel too. I’m so upset because I didn’t realize the style was expensive, but I have seen some ballgowns that were between 3 to 4000, which I’m okay with, as long as I LOVE IT…..any suggestions would be soooooooo helpful as I need to find something soon…..

Hi! I’m looking to create wine glasses as a wedding favor and the only site for personalized, affordable ones looks to be The Knot Shop. Does anyone have any other recommendations?

Okay, so I am sending out invitations on the knot because MAN the invitation cards are expensive. However, I want to include my fiancés step dad and his step mom on our list for who’s in the wedding party. How would I put them down without it sounding rude? I don’t know if like, Step Mother of the Groom sounds awful or not but in my head I feel like they would get offended by it and if I don’t place them down I think they would get offended by it too! Help me in my predicament please 😩

Edit: I ended up spending $650 since I bought her veil for her. She already went over her budget for the dress and she wanted the veil so much. That will serve as her wedding gift.

i always dreamed of the perfect wedding, i had every little detail planned.. while planning i knew i might get overwhelmed or stressed along the way, but i had no idea itd be this awful! literally everything was bad at some point! nothing was going my way, everything was horrible! i felt broken and weak i used to run off by myself to cry somewhere isolated and quiet in the middle of the night.. until the day has come and i thought to myself nothing more could go wrong, but literally everything again did.. i was yelling at everyone i was on the verge of crying even more.. its over now everyone thought it was perfect but not to me.. its not the dream wedding i wished for.. im now lying on bed 4 hours after the wedding and i feel horrible, i feel really bad! idk if thats the reason or if its something else bothering me

Hello people of reddit. I am in need of insight for wedding suits. My fiancé and I are getting married in December (I know, probably a little too short notice for suits but we are doing what we can). I suggested a play on the Christmas color scheme of red and green where he wears a green suit and I am in red. (It's not the exact shade/hue so not overly loud and bright.)

My issue is that I'm very ignorant when it comes to suit guidelines. I'm a transman so a lot of this is very new to me. My fiancé is also a very casual type of guy so he is so not versed in what is expected.

My desire for a color combination for myself is a burgundy suit with possibly a teal green tie but I don't know if there's some faux pas/do's and don'ts or what?

Hey all! I got Married on August 10th of this year. My wedding photographer said the photos would take about 16-20 weeks. She did a great job but if I did it over again I would probably go with someone else because 4-5 months feels like an awfully long time when most of my friends got them back in 2-3 months. I digress. How long should I wait until I message her to see how it’s going? Am I just being impatient? It’s been almost exactly 16 weeks and I really don’t wanna wait another 4 😭 It is in my contract too that she would take 16-20 but goodness it feels like FOREVER!! Anyway advice needed thanks! I hope i didn’t come off rude because that’s not my intention!