I know that no one owes me anything. And that girls don’t owe me a relationship. But I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for me. Why is it so difficult? Why do some guys seem to get endless attention from every girl?

I’m trying to accept it. I really am. But it’s really hurting. I gave up on girls like five years ago. But the pain and loneliness is still there. Especially when I see girls dressed cute and pretty at my college. It just hurts…..

Has anybody actually done this before. I hear online so many people say they’ve never been on a date or had a partner but I’ve never actually met anyone in real life that’s like that. I’ve met some people who haven’t been in a serious relationship for multiple years but they at least go on dates that just end up terrible. I feel there has to be something wrong with me as a person and I can’t put my finger on it, and it’s driving me crazy. I seriously don’t feel any bit of hope and I’m the only person on the planet with this problem.

23M. I only have three friends, all guys and only one that I see regularly and honestly I don't feel like that's enough anymore.

Last year I tried to do something about it, I joined a theater course and I went to the gym. I didn't know many people at the gym but at the theater course I met a lot of people and talked with some, had small talks and stuff but I didn't really connect with anyone. Even in University some guys already formed a group and have chemistry and I just stand there and speak sometimes (mostly when I'm spoken too). I feel like an NPC, I don't like this terminology but it perfectly describes how I'm feeling, every day I follow a pre-programmed path and if someone talks to me I respond and that's it. I can try to attend to events courses ecc but it's kind of useless if I don't connect with others.

I guess this is more a vent than anything else, my parents are on vacation and I'm home alone, usually I can't stand them but without them my loneliness just hits different.

If you have any advice it's appreciated.

I’m a man. And men don’t cry. I’m committed to becoming a masculine man and being tough. But I just can’t do this shit anymore. I just want to not be alone anymore. I don’t even want sex. I just want to be loved by someone and to cuddle with them and just have someone to be my companion.

What other boot camp type shit do I need to sign up for? Will bring more masculine get me a girlfriend? I just don’t know what to do anymore?

23M here.
Since puberty came and went I've been exclusively friends with girls. Helped some of my best friends get their bfs and stuff like that. Even got told by one that I am more "feminine" and thus a better talking partner when it comes to relationship stuff... Because of that, and my clothing style which is a bit more colorful and out of the norm, think overalls and stuff like that, people often assume I'm gay.
I'm not.

My current two best friends know of my wish to finally have a gf or at least a first kiss or something, one of them has had like six relationships and uncountable number of lovers, so they convinced me to get into dating apps and jesus fuking christ dudes don't ever do it, dont fucking do it.
What was left of my confidence is basically gone now. I always thought myself kinda attractive, I have a good jawline, a thin face, maybe a bit more into the twink direction but well... not ugly at least.
Over a month now on the apps and I have zero likes, zero matches, zero nothing. One of the girls I know had 50+ likes in three days. Three fucking days.

So here I am now.
Soon 24 years of age.
I am beginning to despise women. Seriously. Their lives are so fucking easy. I know I shouldn't think like that. I know its wrong. I know their pains and troubles. idk how often I had a friend vent to me about the most vile of catcalls or the monthly pains. Yet they can still find love. They can fuck. They know how another person feels like, breathes like.
How can I stop myself from sliding into it?
I am beginning to isolate myself. I know its not healthy but right now its the only thing that feels right. The hate feels righteous. All the pain I felt all these years they never had to endure. I fucking hate them.
I go to therapy but that woman isn't much better. I haven't told her about my dating app attempts so she can still pretend that it would be "such a simple way to prove I am worth it!". Fuck it. Fuck them all.

If I don't find a way to stop myself from giving into this hate I will have to castrate myself to not become a danger to women in the future because I genuinly start to think I could... and that feeling is fucking scary.

I am a 24 year old dude who has never had a girlfriend, but always wanted one. It's always been my only goal in life really, I know for a fact that only by finding true love can I be happy and fulfilled. I have the habit of losing my will to live when I start losing hope it will ever happen. (If you're thinking about telling me that I should find happiness somewhere else and focus on other things, I know you mean well, but it doesn't work for me, anything else I do can't distract me from focusing on this goal). It isn't about sex at all, I don't really care much about sex, I only ever really want to do as a show of love and affection to a woman I love. I have also never really been an incel, never been a part of those communities, never liked them, never agreed with them.

Truth is, I blacked out everything that happened between 2020 and 2023 because I was so depressed I couldn't function and I guess my brain didn't want to keep any memory of it. Obviously, someone in those circumstances is not going to find a girlfriend, especially since I never left the house. But about a year ago I got new meds and finally I was in a state that can be considered mentally healthy. Start trying to improve myself, losing weight, applying for jobs, etc. Things started looking up and I got some hope that maybe I could find a girlfriend in the future.

That all broke down a few days ago, when women started talking about not dating men because of the election. Since some many women saying that they're abandoning men or that they hate men, it's honestly starting to break me at this point. I have been in total panic, borderline suicidal for days now. Feel like my life is over and I will never be happy and I am not even American.

I am too ashamed to tell anyone I know that I feel this way. Can someone please tell me if I am overreacting or catastrophising? Or is it actually over me?

Tons of text ahead, first time poster.

First off, I don't consider an incel but I lurk here from time to time because some of the advice here is plenty useful. English isnt my first language. Sorry to the mods if this type of post (vent) doesn't belong here, I promise that I ask for advice at the end.

For some context, I'm a 22 yearl old guy who has never had a partner before. I consider myself pretty timid but I've always managed to have friends throughout my life even if that hasnt led to a partner, which doesnt make me feel particularly bad but just a tad lonely. So i decided this past year that one of my goals would be to finally have one.

A few months ago I met a girl from Tinder with whom i shared tons of interests and I really thought we clicked. She was nice, funny and we shared the building at college in which we study (this was purely coincidence) so we talked quite a lot.

2 days ago we finally went out together in a date, since both of our schedules were pretty tight and there barely was enough time outside of our lunch breaks to go on one. It was a really nice date and I was incredible happy with how it went.

Well, yesterday (It's 6 AM, as I'm finishing writing this) our student council had an event at a pretty popular club in the city and both of us had plans to go with our respective friendgroups, but we agreed to meet at some point. Early in the night she literally invites me to dance and I follow, only for her to just... go and dance with another dude.

So there was I, in a group of people (her friends) who I literally didn't know trying my best to fit. And like, I don't think I'm that bright but even I saw that they were NOT dancing as just friends. The type of touching, the deep stares and the hugs, all no more than 1 meter away from me.

But fuck, wathever I'll just ask her out after a few songs in the meantime I'll have my fun.

Logically she said that she couldn't dance with me because she was with the other guy but we could after a few songs and I just go like "Yeah sure i can wait a bit more" and I go back to the routine.

She left with the dude after a while out of the blue, and a friend of mine told me that they were at the entrance talking. I went and took a peek and yeah of course it's true. It doesn't matter, I'll just go dance with my friends and because she'll come back at some point.

She doesn't.

At this point it had been a few hours and I just couldn't stand it no more, so i faked a bunch of confidence and went to the entrance again and asked her if she wanted to dance. He was against the wall hugging her from behind, while she rested her body and head on him.

She responded that she'll be back in a few minutes, using the cutest voice that ive heard from her, which just made the whole situation feel even more pathetic to me. Like, if I was a child that you could just tell to go play somewhere else because the adults were busy.

I just said yeah okay, and my mind went numb. I was dancing with a damn smile in front of my friends but inside I felt so fucking stupid. After a while she came back, and at the impulse I rushed to her and asked her out to dance, wich we did and it was the the greatest feeling ever.

Classic me, just making dumb assumptions and feeding my mind lies that will make my feel bad in porpuse, right?

2 songs and she left to go dance with a girl. She ended up kissing that girl passionately in less than 5 minutes. I tried to initiate something with her one last time, but she didn't seemed to be into it. And boom, dude from before goes right behind her and she immediately reciprocated, dancing and leaving once again but promising that she'll come back to dance with me, and I'm left alone with a bunch of people I don't know. Again.

After that I went to the bathroom to try to not lose my mind, and some guy was kind of hyping another at the entrance, saying stuff like "you got this dude, you're tall and pretty attractive, you just need to go and girls will fall before you".

I like to think that I've managed the insecurities about my appearance pretty well considering how i felt in the past, specially on my teens, but this comment was at the worst possible moment, as it send me on a spiral.

Out of nowhere it all made so much sense: The guy and girl were both much taller than her and i was about her same height, the guy was masculine and wide while the girl was pretty fit as well, whereas I have not much muscle in the first place. How in the world did I ever stood a chance? How could I try and "seduce" when I myself I'm so timid and not hot? How could I compete against them? I saw so clearly how she preferred them!

When i came back, she wasn't on the dance floor. I went with my friends, kept the happy act, but after a while I just told them I was too tired from the day and that I would head home. Before leaving I took quick peak around and I didn't see her or any of the people she was with, so I assumed they left the place.

All the way home, my head could only repeat all the good talks and the date that was so fresh in my mind, followed by the comment at the bathroom, the images of how they touched, the kiss, how they hugged each other, her head resting on him. In no time I was at my house, and I sat down to try to procces the night.

Then I started writing this.

I think the alcohol and fatigue are starting to take a toll on me, as I legitimately don't know how to feel at all. Part of me wants all of this to just be the way she is with her friends, but the other keeps telling me how much of an awful person she turned to be.

I do feel bad thinking about how much I want the first option to be true.

I want to wake up to her texting me she is sorry for leaving and not saying goodbye, or sorry for the way she acted. Anything that could give me some way to feel better about this whole thing, but I know I'm being too hopeful.

I really wanted this to work out. The fucking 2 songs I spend with her tonight could easily compensate for the other shit, but man how much of a pushover am I if I let someone disregard the way I could feel so recklessly? Or maybe she didnt do anything bad and i am the one overreacting? Does that even make sense or am I just getting caught in delusions?

I just want to ask you guys if there's some type advice to just not feel like a damn failure, or the biggest cuck on the planet when I wake up in a few hours.

Thank you.

While I'm not an incel per se I've been on a huge rabbit hole of blackpill and "psl god" content thatve severely demoralized me. My friends say I look attractive, and last week a girl (who another friend said probably likes me) said I have nice eyebrows of all things. My ex said that my dating profiles sucked and that I was so much hotter in person, and I agree with her honestly.

Anyways I'm hanging out with a girl tomorrow and I really want to go on a date eventually with her. But it's hard to be confident in myself knowing I'm a sub5 according to these videos. I remember one of them said something like "if you have to try you've already lost" and that's hit me so hard. I've seen some of wheat waffles stuff, and given that girls will often smile or at least not scowl when looking at me I'm probably around a 6/10. I've come to terms that I'll never be Chico or Jeremy Meeks, but I still want to try. My point is that Im scared I'll only sink deeper into this toxicity if I'm rejected and I'm honestly scared of that

So... attachment theory is a whole thing, and my psych was telling me about it so that I understood much better for why I think the way I do. It's an anxious attachment, it's why I keep trying to find validation in women, because I need to keep proving to myself that I am loveable, that I am good enough for people to care for me. So that's interesting, and honestly useful in trying to understand what's actually shaping me as a person. Also, it's apparently a thing for people with an anxious attachment to look for people they can win over?

Which brings me to this, my exes were all people with an avoidant attachment? I think one of them even cited it as a reason why they want to break up. And... I get it now? It's not even me not being good enough, it might literally just be her being scared of relationships, and thought things were being too serious.

Probably explained why she jumped to a new guy a few weeks later, and she still has the same issue where she breaks it off when they get a bit more serious.

IDK how to not date that type of girl, I think I'm just attracted to them for some reason? Maybe it's the challenge of someone that's harder to win over y'know?

Hey y'all this is a quick reminder that we have a no politics rule. Said rule was first established back in 2016 for disturbingly similar reasons, and those reasons are because posts were being derailed at alarming rates and turning into political flame wars with hundreds of comments. Rule 4 will be enforced for all of our sanity.

I'm going to speak two distinct truths here:

1. Human rights are, in fact, being threatened and actively taken away in the U.S. This is an undeniable fact and anyone who tries to downplay its severity will be subject to a potential ban even if politics aren't explicitly mentioned.

2. While these human rights violations may impact some aspects of dating, it does not mean it is the end of modern dating as we know it. Please keep that in mind both when asking for advice and when giving advice. PLEASE DO NOT REINFORCE OR ENCOURAGE THE IDEA THAT ALL WOMEN ARE NO LONGER INTERESTED IN DATING. NONE OF US CAN SPEAK FOR ALL WOMEN.

With that said, I want to again emphasize that this is a no politics space. No soapboxing, no debating, no predicting, no preaching. That is not what this sub was created for. Please go to one of the thousands of other subs that cater to political topics if you want to make a political post or comment.

Thank you.

hi guys, I wanted to say I have been touched that you guys are trying to exit your incel era, and i am happy you guys are doing it for your mental health/own benefit and hope it also encourages some of you to unlearn any harmful opinions about women, pushed by harmful spaces online.

i understand loneliness very well, but i am still young and so are many of you. and no matter what age, you all are putting in effort to better yourselves, and guess what? that makes you more attractive. and a better person overall lol.

and i say this as a woman, who really doesn’t have a good relationship with men, i actually have an extremely bad one. however, men who try to address their issues are the exceptions, the good men people talk about. one of my pieces of advice though is to use your actions to show you are, not a blanket statement that you are different. but listen, if i can still dislike most men but recognize good in them, plenty of women with healthy relationships to men can. there will be women you get to know eventually, don’t give up hope

you’ve got this, and if you are fighting misogyny as well, know you are changing the whole world. thanks, and don’t forget you are loved too, relationship or not

edit ps: this isn’t something that will never get better and sex isn’t as important as society has made it out to be. despite being desirable and positive in good situations, everyone’s life is greater than sex. which u don’t have to feel hopeless about finding due to the emphasis of it in society (i’ve been affected by that negatively too)

Due to rules, I can't specify but after what happened yesterday. I feel like my worst fears have been confirmed; it's too late for me. I don't know if women will really be wanting to date men anymore, I've noticed a trend popping up called the 4B movement and I don't know if it's just a terminally online thing but it seems to be gaining traction.

Can't say I blame y'all. But at the same time, now I'm really going to be single and alone and now it'll be that much harder because I'll be met with suspicion by default because I'm a guy. I don't know how to explain these feelings without coming off like some selfish and entitled jerk. I've been having severe anxiety I've been feeling extremely panicked and afraid. I feel for women and how devastating it is, I do realize and acknowledge that.

But for years, people kept telling me to not worry, I'm overreacting or I just need to touch grass. It'll happen if I stop looking etc. But now it seems no amount of grass touching is going to change that now, going forward, I'll likely continue to remain being celibate and single, which is not something that excites me and not what I want.

I waited too long, and it's come to this. I don't have any hope for the future anymore, I missed out on a major life milestone and I don't know if there's much I can do about it anymore.

I always deeply loathed and have been terrified of forever just being the pleasant but perpetually single friend in any sort of friend group who always ends up as an awkward 3rd or 4th wheel to couples. I just have to watch and observe that other people to get enjoy the feelings of love and companionship and how I will not get to experience that.

Maybe I just need to get used to the idea of being sexless and just focus more on hobbies.

Either way, I don't have any hope and now I just have to continue working through the anger and bitterness.

I am told to be more confident and naturally my body language will adjust and project that. I've probably chased a lot of people off, I guess...

Yet the view of confidence I am told to have with women makes little sense if it is supposed to be devoid of 'expectations' or thinking she's attractive. By expectations, I mean a HOPE that they might like me or take interest. Otherwise, I'm told, they sense desperation and neediness in addition to the dreaded creepiness. If you're nice you're met with suspicion like I'm trying to bargain for something. It's like a catch 22, wanting a relationship and yet being calm, cool and 'confident' to not show it. It makes little sense. How can one account for this adjust accordingly? I just really don't want to be alone after all the rejections and coldness showed me that have weighed on me through the years, not to mention social media (here on Reddit or otherwise, which I know I need to cut).

I got so suicidal I think I have like 7 missed calls from friends (impressed people still care after I ruined myself), almost hanged myself, haven't exercised nor socialized since ages and even the auto mod of suicidewatch said "fuck off you far too gone for here".

What now? I'm not kidding but this is one of the few places I have left to ask for help, I'm just lethargic, hopeless and in pain. Though tbh I won't blame the mods if they deem this too "trauma posty" or not topic relevant.

Often times straight men who are romantically unsuccessful will go on rants complaining about women's standards being to unrealistically high and how women are delusional. I personally don't believe this is true and even if it were there'd be nothing wrong with it since everyone should have what ever standards they like regardless of how harsh they might seem to others.

That being said, I think it's safe to assume that most women have reasonable standards. I think most women want a man who is financially independent and has a stable job in addition to being a kind person.

While I enjoy trying to be useful to others the problem is I'm 23 and already falling behind. I have bad anxiety to the point that it interferes with my day to day life and I'm certain that I will never be able to get a job with an income. I still live with my parents and it doesn't help that I'm kinda ugly. I also don't know how to get therapy despite wanting to.

I'd love to be useful in a relationship in other ways such as doing all the domestic work and cooking but I don't think that alone would be enough contribution for someone to want a relationship with me.

At this point I'd be happy to have any income. Yet even if I do manage to get a job it will probably be low-paying and I'm scared that having a minimum wage job isn't good enough for a relationship. I feel like I will never find someone and that I am stuck in life. I saw a statistic the other day showing that one of the big reasons why so many women are choosing to be single is because they can't find someone on their level of education and income. If I can't achieve either then I'm afraid I'll be single for life.

I am 31M. I have struggled with depression all my 20s. Always felt ugly, and looked ugly too. I didn't take good care of myself. I am very short ( 5'2 ). No dating experience ever. Nada. Never even kissed yet.

Let's come to the main point. Past 1 year, I worked on myself. Turns out I am not that ugly. With good dressing and a good grooming, I am quite average. I have been getting a few compliments here and there ( mostly by men and old women, for some reason). And I tell you, one good compliment makes you feel like you belong somewhere. You feel like you are not the scum of earth like you used to think about yourself.

Now that there is a few momentum going on, I want it to take it further.

I don't have any moves or game. No experience dating. I will love my girl in the way I know. I will care for her, cook something surprising for her sometimes, listen to her, and just love her. But I have been told that that approach won't work nowadays. You gotta have a game or be a playboy or something. I am none of that.

What should be my approach on meeting girls my age? I got a few matches on bumble, but don't know how to flirt.

I still a little worried about 3 things , my lack of sexual experience, my extremely short height, and my feet. They are really small ( mens size 4). They are literally smaller than any girl's feet I have ever seen. How can I make sure that my height or my small feet don't hinder this little momentum I have ?

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

First of all I'm aware that not every straight relationship is like this and that not all straight people, men and women, want this sort of dynamic. However, in general people still seem to expect these things in relationships and I'm really not very fond of that. I often wish that relationships between men and women were devoid of these gender expectations and dynamics. I also struggle accepting that some of these might have biological roots and I really hope that they're cultural and can be gotten rid of as our society progresses.

First of all I don't like how it's the men who are expected to initiate everything, pay for the date etc. Not only does this make me feel undesired as a man, but the whole expectation of the man paying makes it seem like it's only the woman's time which has value, while his time doesn't. How I see it is that two people who go on a date together are there because they want to get to know each other and there's no need for one of them to pay for the other's time. These toxic expectations make it harder for men to find relationships and intimacy, because it's a hurdle, where the man experiences disproportionately more rejection than a woman. The man also usually never gets asked out even if somebody likes him and this can chip away at his self esteem.

I also dislike the notion that the man should lead the relationship, be the provider or that he shouldn't show weakness. Of course there's nothing wrong with the man providing for his wife, but it being seen as the status quo in straight relationships just doesn't sit right with me.

I've also heard a lot of women say they want the man to be dominant in bed. What I came to understand is that this means taking the initiative, being the one who chooses the positions etc. However I think sex should be an activity in which both partners share the same level of enthusiasm and not an activity in which the same partner is always the one to initiate and do all the heavy lifting.

I'd like to hear what people on r/incelexit think about this topic. I'd also like to ask for some suggestions on how to have a more positive attitude towards these dynamics, because I understand they aren't changing anytime soon and I'll have to deal with them in one way or the other.

Couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about a girl showing some interest in me at hot yoga and me doing the exact thing to ruin my chances 😭. Wanted to update everyone: we haven't cross path since then and right now I am busy with exams🫠. I have seen her post on the hot yoga studio's instagram. They allow people to post to gain traffic. She still goes there, so there is some hope, but unfortunately not when I go. It has been a couple of weeks now, so I assume the opportunity has long expired. This is very anticlimatic, not even I was expecting this. What do I do now? Help anyone?

Here is the link to previous post https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelExit/comments/1g12jy9/a_girl_and_i_shared_a_laugh_at_hot_yoga_but/

So ... turns out I might have overestimate how reliant I was on the rescue foster cat I had around and now that he is homed ... I feel awfully lonely and miss the affection, especially considering how stressful this week is (not gonna elaborate due to rule 4, but should be obvious).

Don't think our poor family cat will be interested in me keeping her as close she is more of the "I want some space" cat. I feel too sad and emotionally starved now.

Just wanted to talk about a subreddit I've seen lately that seems to get a lot of people here very down. It's a rating subreddit (you probably know the one) where users submit some photos and everyone comments what their "actual, objective" rating is.

Scroll through it for one minute and tell me it isn't the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen anyone there score above a 6. Their grading criteria seems completely out of touch with what average people look like (their exemplar 5s, which are meant to be the middle 50% of the population, are classically beautiful movie stars).

I remember seeing one gorgeous poster (easily a 7-9) being called a 4.2, and almost spitting out my tea in shock. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, and she was 'girl-pretty' or something? But this was absolutely a woman who would be hit on at least 5 times on an average night-out.

I was wondering why the rating are so skewed, and had a few possible reasons cross my mind. Maybe it's the overconsumption of 'looksmaxxing' content or lack of outside contact allowing them to believe movie stars are averagely rated people? If they only really see other people through media, it's understandable any non-celebrity can't stack up.

But I think the key reason ratings are so low is a social pressure in those subreddits. Commenters are often criticised for 'glazing' in their ratings - but never for ratings too low. The posters on these subreddits are highly insecure and, in some ways are desperate for low ratings to fuel their self hatred. So even if a man is called good looking by hundreds, the ten who call him below average will stick out to him as "truthful".

One last thing to mention - these communities remind me a lot of the eating disorder communities I used to frequent. Often in those communities, a poster would ignore all comments saying they are beautiful or a perfect weight, and instead only reply with intense gratitude to the comments calling them fat. Do you think this is similar to these rating communities?

What do you all think of this? I see a lot of posts in incel communities saying they've been rated a 4 or similar, but it feels like a 4 in those subreddits is like an 8 anywhere else. Beyond the obvious reasons I've stated, why do you think these communities exist in their current state - and how do we get already insecure incels to stop believing them?

19m. I’m too antisocial for anything. I’ll probably never get over this weird fear I have of women.

I’m too envious and resentful. I don’t know how to make friends so I’ll probably never really be able put myself out there. My social anxiety is very bad. So much so that it makes me isolate myself.

And society hates people with traits like mine. I’m too un-photogenic to get matches on tinder. Im going into job corps so I can only hope I find a way to get over it there because I’ll be sharing a dorm.

And I don’t really fit into my community. I’ve always been told I’m “too white for a black dude”.

Any advice for getting over being lonely? Atleast for the time being.

Edit: Thank you guys for the advice. You're right I will stop to declare me as a beta and others as alphas. I will start to get this narrative out of my head and quit with cuckold and humiliation porn. I keep going with the good things I do and start building self esteem. It isn't a easy way but one I have to go...I will keep you updated.

I do a lot of things well. I eat well, I do sport, I make an effort at university, I socialize more. Nevertheless, I feel worse and more worthless than ever before. The reason is that I'm fighting a battle. I don't want to be a beta, even though I am, and this struggle is eating away at me.

I go through the world and I am constantly being shown that I am worthless:

• No one listens to me. I am not heard and feel that nobody cares what I have to say.
• No one comes up to me. No one really wants anything from me or has the feeling that I am valuable. No one invites me to a party, I have to invite people, otherwise I'm alone.
• All the women I ever loved or wanted something from didn't want anything from me.

I feel worthless on the outside: too ugly, too fat, too small. But I also feel worthless on the inside: not masculine enough, not dominant enough, not present enough, not authoritative enough, too weak, too tense, not fun enough.

I'm what you would call a beta male these days: someone who always comes second. You are not someone who is hated, you are even liked, but you are only tolerated, but nobody has real feelings or even love for you. You just come second.

I can manage all these things reasonably well and have already improved many things or am in the process of doing so. However, the biggest impact is on the sexual and romantic sphere of my life: I feel too worthless to have sex, to approach women or to flirt. I simply don't deserve it or I'm just not born for it. I know that a lot of things here are just in my head, but in reality things keep happening that show me that it's somehow true:

• At a party, an attractive girl once told me that she could imagine fucking me. I was happy and thought I wasn't so worthless after all, but then she said that she would rather fuck someone else and disappeared into the storeroom with another guy and sucked his cock. Here you can see that I am the second choice.
• Another girl I fancied would rather have sex with a friend of mine than with me.
• Every time it looked like a girl would like me, she quickly disappeared and not much happened.
• I started to fall in love with a friend, but she's not in love with me. She would rather have fun with other men. You can see here that I always come up short. She's had lots of men and I lose out to every one of them. I respect her, she is a very strong and valuable woman who would not accept men who are not of high rank as partners.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame these women. I'm not entitled to respect, love or sex. It's not the other men's fault either. They just have different circumstances and don't have a problem in the things where I have a problem, but maybe in other things. But I just want to show here that a pattern has already emerged throughout my life.

I am sad that I am a beta and it hurts. But can I change anything at all? I'm sure you can to some extent. I already have, but can I ever get out of this second place? Can you stop being a beta?

I know that many people here will say that I should go to the gym and so on. I already do, but you also have to realize that many men have the same problems as me, even though they have muscles, money and a job. It's not so much about material things. It's about what's inside you.

So I am a 23M who severely struggles with attracting other women. I have never had a romantic relationship, never had anyone interested in me and only have expressed my feelings a couple of times and each time it was met with rejection.

Every rejection I have ever gotten was in some way related with my height. I am 5'7'' and while that might not be that short, in my country the average height for men is around 5'11'' so my height is comparatively quite short. Also the fact that I am simply quite ugly doesn't really help my case, however I do feel much worse about my height as opposed to the rest of my looks.

So the fact that I have never had anyone interested in me coupled with only experiencing rejection and the fact that women (I know that this is only true for women I interacted with and I just might have had bad luck) are bothered and dislike me for me height, something I can't control nor change without invasive procedures has frankly made me feel like I am inadequate and not good enough and nothing I do will make me become good enough since I can't clear the bar for height to be considered attractive.

My question is what can I do to deprogram my way of thinking since being short, ugly bitter and resentful is probably less likely to be attractive as opposed to just being short and ugly

Hello,

I am someone who has been suffering from procrastination and overthinking all my life. Now I am jobless as I got fired within 3 months of shifting in a new city. No one's around. I keep on scrolling all day. I have a lot of things to do. But I don't think a lot more than intimacy and imaginary situation. No motivation. Even if I open phone once, I get stuck into it. Here in Bangalore, therapies are super expensive and I am jobless. I don't even have motivation to get up and go. I don't know what to do. Every work looks like mountain and I finish at the last minute. Writing this post was also super tough

Hi, I'm that one annoying fifteen (now sixteen) year old. My last post was more than 3 months ago

Basically what happened is that I'm part of a very close friend group, there's 3 of us in total. Me, Friend A and Friend B, for privacy sake. Friend A has been in a really healthy relationship for a long time now, more than half a year I think, which is expected, he fits the usual "Alpha" qualities and he's quite social, I'm happy for him.

I am (or was) the most similar to Friend B, we're both not very social, huge nerds and geeks.. but somehow he managed to get a girlfriend about a day ago. Don't get me wrong, I am really really happy for him, but I can't help but feel like a worthless piece of shit considering I'm the only one in the friend group without a partner now. I know it's wrong, I know that having/not having a partner doesn't say anything about your "worth", bla bla bla, however I can't just rationalize out of this - I feel terrible, I feel worthless. I want to hold someone in my arms and have someone to tell how much I love them, even if that's logically too much to ask.

This is why I am here, just looking for advice on, I know this is not a place to vent, so I aim to take the best out of this ordeal. For now, I'm thinking about just giving up on the idea of ever having love in my life.

What I mean is not crying about how I am unlovable, but to accept that I may never find anyone that's okay. Sort of like positive nihilism. "I may never find love, but who cares? I'm gonna get the best out of my life then".

Any more ideas on how to cope? Maybe there are some critical flaws in my thinking? Something that could help? This place is an awesome community and I cherish you for giving your precious time to little boy me.

Oh and mods, sorry if this doesn't fit, I understand

Let me start off by saying I am so tired of incels blaming Autism, Height, Race, Not having a perfect Jawline, or whatever for why women/girls don't like them. It definitely can't be their personality or crappy attitude! (Sarcasm.)

Normally, I don't post things on social media because I have bigger things in my life to do. But as a Autistic individual I am tired of these incels radicalizing our community. I'm here to inspire and give hope to everyone.

First off, I'm not a Chad or anything else. I am Not an ugly person, but I'm not like a attractive male adonis model or whatever. Secondly I do socially Awkward things sometimes and Thirdly I have not Unfortunately had the best teenage years.

So by all Incel logic I should be doomed and the blackpill is true. But my story shows that anyone with a good personality and who is interesting can have girls like them. My teenage years been rough. I had a suicide attempt at 14, had to switch schools 3 times due to mental health issues and a lot of other things. I'm still a very anxious person and sometimes I do mess up in social situations.

But I have been on a self-improvement journey and I have found many female friends. At 16 my life was pretty shity to be honest, I didn't really interact with other people due to past mental health issues and I went to school online and all my friends were on discord. In fact, there were times when I believed that I was fundamentally a socially inept loser.

In the summer of 2023, I really Hated being lonely and isolated. I wanted a girlfriend. I remember those summer nights where I would think about how I was so lonely and isolated from other people. My life was basically spent online, either doing schoolwork or Arguing with people about politics.

I finally decided that im going to get a girlfriend and I still do believe in the idea of a girlfriend. Now I really, really wanted to talk to girls. In public I would Try and build my confidence around woman by talking to female cashiers and stuff like that. I also made brief, small talk with girls whenever appropriate**. In Augestish of 2023 I found a female friend with Autism and similar issues to me We got along very well and we became very close friends. I would almost argue even best friends over months. I even asked her to be my girlfriend, she said no but that she admired and liked me as a friend.**

Also, I Signed up for a history class after the end of the Summer of 2023 at my local high school to be able to socialize with girls. Some were pretty receptive and some were'nt. But I met another girl there, she shared my intersets and always laughed at my jokes. ​One of the things we had in common was we both like writing. Eventually I finally got the courage to ask her to be friends and we Had our first hang out at the Alchemist Cafe a very hipster place in my town. Over this year we have hanged more and more, she even came to my house during this summer.

There have been some other girls I talked to and even got numbers from. Now I have't found a relationship yet :) but I have found friendship. They still liked me despite my flaws and the point I will make is that If you are a good person and you are interesting, there's gonna be girls who are gonna like you. Because I think that women are just people and there will always be liked mind people which means there will be liked minded women.

Hello folks, I'm the ex MGTOW guy from this post. Since I released this post, I changed 2 or 3 accounts due to Reddit's bans. So I'm writing with a new account.

Since I posted the post in mention, I had great developments in my mental health. I stopped looking at Blackpill contents of any kind. And this Blackpill Detox worked, I stopped thinking delusionally. I'm more relaxed and mentally well than I was. But due to my delusions and overthinking at that period, I didn't studied enough and became less succesful than I expected. Anyway, I entered the college and I'm at first grade now.

Then, I quickly made new friends and ended the loneliness which rots me inside. Now; I have (more than) 10 friends and 4 of them are close friends. I think I began to recover psychilogically, but it's very slow. Also I continue to talk about my traumas online, it feels good to open up.

But on the other hand, I began to be more pessimistic. Because, where ever I look at, I see happy couples. That makes me sad and it feels like I'll die alone. But I don't think it's because of my looks, because I've seen men who is uglier and shorter than me have a girlfriend. I haven't tried yet, because I'm overweight and not confident. I should focuse to myself first.

TRIGGER WARNING: DISTURBING HOMICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

! Around two or three weeks ago, a disturbing murder happened in Turkey. A young man who's obsessed with a girl which rejected him, killed and dismembered her limbs in the historic walls of Istanbul. Then he called her mother and said "Your girl has dropped her phone.". When her mother came to the crime scene, he throwed her head to the mother. After a while, he killed himself by jumping. And the worst thing is, there were no police at the moment. !<Nearly everyone in the country freaked up because of the violent homicide, except incels. They ridiculed the victim and glorified the killer. And guess what Turkish government did, instead of increasing security measures they banned Discord because "incels use it".

!After the violent homicide, during police was searching in the murderer's house; they found some drawings of a dismembered woman. He was planning the murder for a long time and drawing it. When I saw the drawings, I remembered my corpse drawings from the era when I was planning to mass murder. !<My traumas triggered and I didn't sleep that night. And my general feeling of disturbance continued for a 2-3 days.

Along with this trauma, I was thinking (and I'm still thinking) about my loneliness. Also I was having a hard time at accommodating to big city life far away from my family. >!As a combination of these factors, I tried to commit suicide by jump into the subway. But a person blocked my attempt and talk out of it. I'm not suicidal now, but I was still thinking about suicide about one week before.!<

So, I'm asking you dear IncelExit users; what should I do? My friends advise going to therapy, and I'm planning to do it. But I don't want to spend money too, so I prefer openning myself online. Also I started to GYM yesterday, I think it could affect me positively.

i tried posting on truerateme for the 4th time now. its the same old story. i got rated a 4.6/10 instead of a 4.5/10 this time. you could probably still see it on my profile. i really dont know what i was expecting. i just keep going through the same cycle of loneliness and seeking approval in hopes that i can escape it. but all i end up doing is damaging my already fucked up self esteem even more. my dating life reflects this, as i get virtually no matches or likes on any dating app. i'm just at a loss. i dont think im the ugliest guy out there, but im obviously not attractive. what am i supposed to do? should i just accept that im going to be alone for the majority of my time on this earth? is there any hope at finding love anymore? i just feel like it shouldn't be this hard to find someone. it should be easy, no? im not insanely overweight, im not fat, im eating healthy, and im not terrible as a person. so what gives?

Recently (two months ago), my girlfriend stopped talking to me after a fight we had. The last message she sent after the fight was wishing me happy birthday a few weeks after. Apart of me feels resentment, does that make me a bad person? Is it bad that I'm trying to still talk to her sometimes or fix things or does that make me an obsessive and a creepy incel? I'm sorry if this isn't exactly the most incel post, but I'm not really sure and I don't feel as comfortable posting on a bigger sub reddit.

Apart of me feels like a hypocrite because I stopped talking to most of my friends including my irl ones, but it feels so strange that the person who had a fight with me and who I thought hated me was the only person who remembered my birthday and not even people that I've known since 6th grade. I sometimes think that I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart, but I know I mainly just wanna do it to speak to her again