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Asking parents questions, one at a time.
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My 6 year old has been pooping his pants every time he needs to poop for a week. He says it’s because another small child saw him using the bathroom at school.
This is in America where public bathroom doors have a creepy space that a rude person can peep through. 🦅
It doesn’t seem like anything else happened, just that he was seen by a kid smaller than himself, so I assume the same age or younger.
He is pooping his pants both at home and when out other places.
I’ve talked to him many times, his dad has talked to him. What do I do to make this stop?
I want to continue fostering my niece’s enjoyment of books. She still enjoys them and has very limited screen time so her attention span is pretty decent, but all her books at this point are for toddlers. I want to get her a big haul of books for Christmas that 5 year olds both enjoy and will get something positive out of from a parenting standpoint.
Simple question here
I am expecting my first child and I am starting to stock up on some essential baby items. I recently purchased a package of 1000 baby wipes and I am wondering how long that will last me and how much more I should roughly stock up ahead of time?
Both my wife and I have grown up to be people pleasers. It's relatively common where I live (India) for people to constantly forgo personal comfort to not offend/inconvenience other people.
My daughter is 4 now. She used to be one of those kids who just did and took what she wanted. To make sure that she doesn't end up as a bully, whenever there's a conflict we've always told her to compromise and "share", which is mainly her just giving up on what she was doing and trying something else.
Now, I feel like this was misguided since I don't want her to compromise all the time for the sake of others. There are so many kids her age that just take and take and take, and my poor child just keeps letting them because we've taught her to always let go of things. I feel like I would have failed as a parent if I didn't teach my child to prioritize her own happiness.
Any advice on how I should handle this? When I see her and another child fighting over the same toy, I don't wanna tell her to just let it go. Especially when I don't see other parents around me intervening and doing the same. How do I teach my child that there is a time and place for compromise and another for standing your ground?
My 10 year old son refuses to wear any pants except for sweats because he says they are uncomfortable. It really bothers his mother and it's a struggle for me to listen to them fight about it. Can someone recommend comfortable pants that he might like and she would approve of? Something that feels like sweatpants but looks like regular pants I guess.
So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a month and a half. We both love each other very much. I added her on Snapchat, as well as getting her number. However, her mom is very toxic, and will take her phone away for several days for no reason. Last night, she went through our conversations, and I asked who it was since I can see if someone’s going through it. She refused to identify herself (the reason I know it was her is her sister told me). Then she blocked me on Snapchat and on my contacts. How do I proceed with this? Thank you in advance.
I'm not a parent, but I'm an 19 year old sister. I have an almost 9 year old little brother.
He has behavioral problems. But sometimes it just gets crazy. He got into a little argument with his sister (11yo) about a toy. And he just went crazy. He started yelling and screaming and throwing things and trying to hit her and my mom. He kept scream at the top of his lungs. My parents tried everything but he just kept screaming: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" To everything they said, he screamed: "I DON'T CARE!" and calling them stupid and all kinds of names.
Like, literally, you just couldn't talk to him. I know we need to look at the deeper cause of these issues, but I'm just curious what you guys would do in the moment. Any tips/advice?
It just drives us all insane sometimes. My parents aren't the best parents, and I criticize them for quite some things but in this scenario I don't think they did anything wrong. And also, I feel like there's nothing they could do right.
I am a very patient person, but I can see how kids can really test your patience. Someone who has experience with this?
This is not going to be a happy post. More like a vent if anything now that I think about it. I’m hoping this post will at least help me process my own feelings.
So in short, I’ve recently lost my mother and my father has already been gone for years. I still have yet to even graduate college and I’m overwhelmed with everything I have to get sorted out. I want time to just stop so I can feel like I’m not having to rush to do something for once. How am I suppose to keep pushing through all this? I don’t even have any parent left to lean on. To ask questions to or simply hug. I know people who have reached 50 and still have their parents around. It just doesn’t feel fair.
How have you guys managed to find strength to keep going? I want to make them proud and at least graduate college but after that I’m lost. What do you even do with yourself when something like this happens? How do you love life after losing?
I've picked up a tag for 10-12 year old girl forgotten angels. Any ideas on what girls in that age group would like?
I (25f) recently moved in with my bf (29m). He has a child (7f), I'll call her J. I have very little parenting experience as I have no kids. I am however familiar with younger kids as I have plenty of nieces and nephews that I have babysat over the last few years.
For some background info I have been with my bf for over a year. J lives with her mom(38f) and her step dad(40?m), she comes over on the weekends unless her mom needs her home for something. My bf has told me that J's mom struggles financially quite a bit especially with her and her husband not working.
Throughout the year that I've been with my bf, J would come over and tell us things that honestly im not sure if its a normal thing and just a kid being a kid or if its more than that. A few examples I have is that a few times she would tell us that her brother was getting brand new clothes and toys while she was getting nothing. I thought maybe it was just money struggles, but her mom asked us to get her school stuff and clothes before we brought her back that weekend and said that she hasn't been able to get her anything. Another time we had her over she lost a little bow and completely broke down about it. She was freaking out saying her mom was going to be really mad with her, she was bawling her eyes out over it. When we had her for Christmas she left a sweater at our apartment and started crying saying her mom was going to tell her she couldn't open her presents and be grounded for leaving it there.
Recently shes been saying more things. This weekend she saw me painting my nails and I asked her if she wanted hers done to which she replied saying her mom would be super mad if her nails were painted. At one point we were playing with Play-Doh when she told me that her step dad never smiles and is really mean to her. I asked her how he was mean to her and she whispered to me that he always yells at her but she doesn't like to talk about it especially in front of her dad. So I didn't push any further but I thought that was weird.
I have mentioned my concerns to my boyfriend but he told me I haven't been a parent and she's likely just being dramatic. Is this things a kid normally says? If so, is this truly just her being dramatic or anxious? Is there better ways I can help in these situations by saying something or doing something to make her feel better?
I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask these things as I'm not technically her step parent and just "dad's girlfriend" at the moment but I want to at least help in some possible way to make her happy while she's here.
I'm a 17 year old female and I was going to pick up a cake at a local bakery with my dad. When we walked in my dad said he needed to go to the restroom before we go to the area where we can pick up the cake. So I sat in a chair close to the entrance by a stand alone booth. I noticed there was a girl who couldn't be older than 8 sitting alone playing on her phone. A old man man approached her from the left side of the bakery and kept telling her how beautiful she was while leaning over the table. He just kept going on and on about how beautiful she is. He kept moving closer to her around the table and just kept telling her how beautiful she was and he was smiling really creepily. She started to look really uncomfortable. At that moment a lady walked by and looked at me and made a disgusted faced while side-eyeing the old man. This is then when the old man turned around because of the noise of the door closing the lady made. He then noticed me and looked annoyed that I saw him and kept staring at me and I stared back until he turned his attention back on the girl and started whispering somethings to her that I couldn't hear. He finished what he was saying to her then turned around looking at me and his smile dropped and then he left out the door. The little girl looked at me and smiled like she was happy he left. My dad came out of the restroom and we went to pick up the cake while I kept looking back at her to see if she's okay and when her parents would go back over to her. When they did we were about to leave out the door with the cake and I decided to go back and tell her parents what had happened. The dad said thank you twice and the mom looked confused but at the last second looked like she understood what had happened but I know I didn't explain it well because I was shaking and the old man had really creeped me out. I was just worried what would happen if I wasn't watching and I don't know if she knew about stranger danger. I don't know if she would have told her parents what happened either. My dad is the non confrontational type and I could tell on the car ride home that he thought I didn't need to tell the parents. Now that I'm back home I'm wondering if I did the right thing. Should I have done something different?
His bedtime is 7:30, he sleeps through the night in his own room. When we put him to bed later he reliably gets up earlier. 5am isn’t horrible but it’s draining on us not getting a moment to ourselves in the mornings.
Planning Christmas gifts for my sister's kids and I'm planning on getting one of my niece (4 in 10 weeks) some children's Doc Martens for a bit of fun. I asked my sister, who said that she's currently a size 8 (UK), but they're expecting her to be a 9 soon.
Now, just in terms of getting some good time out of footwear, would it be appropriate to size up to 10, especially as we get to the thick of winter, or go for a 9 and accept whatever timeframe it'll be before she grows out of them.
I also have a younger niece, so they should also get some hand-me-down wear too, so they're not going completely to waste.
TIA!
Deleted original post due to a typo in the title (there were no racist sluts involved).
My son is 10 and started his 4th year of hockey. He started this season on 10U. Due to too many kids on the 10U team he was asked if he would be willing to move up to 12U. I was hesitant at first but there were a couple of kids from his team last season on the 12U team and my son was wanting to move up. First practice this kid comes up to him and says "I didn't know you played hockey? I hope you're good." I asked my son who it was and he said the kids name. We'll call him "Taylor". I asked if Taylor went to his school and he said "That's the Taylor from last year". Taylor from last year was a bully and harassed my son throughout the year. Taylor even choked my son and got suspended for it. My son said that this school year Taylor has been fine and they haven't had any issues. I told the coach about the incident last year as a heads up and he wasn't at all suprrised saying that "Taylor definitely has some issues" but he appreciated me letting him know and that if anything happens they'll be sure to deal with it.
We're now weeks into the season and towards the end of practice a few weeks ago I could tell my son was off. He wasn't skating hard, he wasn't paying attention...he just seemed distracted. After practice I could see he was visibly upset. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong and was quiet the ride home. I figured someone was talking shit, calling him bad or whatever because he's the youngest on the team. He went to his room and wouldn't come out. After a while I went in and tried to talk to him. I told him that if anyone was being rude to him or calling him bad or whatever that he doesn't deserve that especially from a teammate. I figured we could talk to the coach to maybe give a generic speech about being a good teammate or whatever so we don't single anyone out. He told me that Taylor was calling him racist names at practice and had been making racist comments at school at other kids. My son is half Filipino.
I emailed the coach and told him what had happened. He apologized and said he would speak to the other coaches, Taylor's parents and it would be dealt with. I also called the school and transporation to make sure that neither of my boys sit anywhere near him on the bus. My son never mentioned that they rode the same bus until this year which is surprising.
This kid has never apologized for what he said and never apologized from last year either according to my son. Never heard from his parents even though I see them at practice and games. THAT part is wild to me because if it was my kid being racist I would make sure my son apologized and that I spoke to the parents to assure them it wouldn't happen again. I can live without an apology for myself but my son deserves better. I realize kids will be shitty and that I can't protect him from everything but having to deal with this at 10 is infuriating. Especially when the parents don't seem to see anything wrong or at least not enough wrong to apologize.
Now his interest in hockey is waning. He used to ask to go to public skates and "stick and puck" sessions at our local rink but he hasn't for a few weeks now. We've never tried to push him in any sports or activities. He's always been wanting to practice and put in extra work up until this all happened and we don't know what to do. We've always felt tha the enjoyed hockey and knew that there might come a point where he just didn't want to play but it seems like it was triggered by this event. There's a tournament tomorrow and we're hoping that might jumpstart him again. AFAIK Taylor hasn't been bothering him and neither has anyone else but he didn't tell us about Taylor last year for a long time so I'm worried that he's keeping quiet to not start problems with anyone else.
How do I continue to balance protecting him and also not fulling sheltering him too? I feel I did the right thing by going to the coaches without going to the parents because the issues from last year. I tried to give the parents the benefit of the doubt that they don't condone the behavior but not hearing from them after this incident doesn't make me believe they really care about what their kid does.
On a different note, Taylor was an alternate captain on the team and they took his "A" away.
So this has been going on for awhile now, as in since I was 10 (I'm 23 now). My dad gets mad when I choose to relax for one day. It's not an everyday kind of thing, just one day. He gets mad over it as if I'm not allowed to relax. I go to school full time, I work full time, I clean the house, wash the dishes every night, cook the meals, do the grocery shopping, do the outside work (like weed eating), wash his blankets and clean his room, and do everything he asks of me. Yet, if I want to sleep in or do nothing for a day it's like it's the end of the world for him and I'm somehow lazy and do nothing. He even denies that I make his meals and he does it all. He does do a lot for me like help me pay for my car, keep a roof over my head, and put food on the table. I understand that, but I can't even just relax or sleep in. I don't have time over the week to because of school, homework or work (house and the job). My brother lives with us, yet is only told to take out the trash. Even then he rarely does it and when he feels like it. My dad doesn't ever get mad at him for it. If my brother doesn't do something that my dad ask him to do, then it's relayed onto me. If I don't do something, like wash the dishes at night, I get woken up at 5 or even earlier in the morning to do it. I just don't know what to do. I can't move out just yet because I can't afford to. Does anyone have any advice on why he's like this or how to deal with it? Or maybe I'm just a lazy cry baby. I feel like i'm drowning here.
Not sure what to say. I’m not angry. But after being called angry, when I’m not for multiple times, I get annoyed.
I have a 4 year old who just screams and yells dunno where he learned that from but it's constant. He just started school, he's a good kid in public and at school but at home he is a little shit that doesn't stop being loud and bad. When I was young I recalled my parents hitting me constantly, like, cornering me in the bathroom with my mom's pleading for my dad to stop. Dad slapping me in the mouth for being a disobedient kid, etc. I turned out to be fine and our relationship is fine but for some reason don't see that method being used in my own son but don't see any improvement. They also seem to think yelling is counterproductive too, despite doing it to me growing up?
I'm a single father and my parents help me out because his mother is deceased (she was a drug addict, compulsive gambler and cheater, so I am glad she died) and my parents don't believe in the same methods they used on me as a kid and I'm not sure why?
How are you supposed to discipline your child when you've taken away their toys, put them in timeout, and done all the "proactive" methods of stopping them from being bad? My parents hit me, yelled and screamed at me, deny it, but I know they did and I turned out fine. What are you supposed to do when your kid doesn't listen to you and your "proactive" discipline doesn't work?
I'm tired of listening to the screaming and shouting everyday, love this kid but some shit is just so frustratingly annoying that I don't wanna do this shit anymore - I understand they're just a kid but is there no method for having them be normal and obedient like other people's children? I work in a medical facility and see parents with children the same age all the time who seem extremely good and it doesn't make sense to me, my son is bad as fuck at home..
Do you just ignore it until they get better? Pretend they aren't doing it when you're already at an 11 in frustration? Are you supposed to be freakishly annoyed with your children all the time with no method of containing the issue at hand? Idk help, this shit is hard and I'm tired
so yeah I'm not a parent but I thought you guys would have good advice for this
Btw my brother is 15. We were cleaning our bedroom but he had to go somewhere and the time was up so my mom made me clean the rest of his side after he left. When I was cleaning under his bed, I pulled out a small jar that looked like it had some sort of paper in it. I was kind of curious so I opened the lid and it was a paper towel, the brown ones that you usually get from a dispenser. Why would he just have a jar with a paper towel in it? On closer inspection, I noticed a big red blotch on it. This just added to my confusion but started to concern me as well. The blotch was dry also so whatever it was wasn't new.
I don't know why I did what I did next, I guess again out of curiosity. I smelled it. Yep, worst case scenario was the right one. It smelled real bad, but bad in an organic way and I could clearly tell from that, that it was blood.
Why would my brother keep a jar with a bloody paper towel under his bed?? How old even was it?? The smell didn't even hit me when I opened it, so that must have meant it wasn't being contained in there nonstop, so he probably opened it every now and then. I'm very concerned.
My brother is slightly problematic, very problematic when he was 13 (he seemed like a normal edgy preteen but my parents found out he was planning to poison some kid with a friend he met at school). No violent tendencies we've seen since then (except gore drawings but we come from a family that's into creepy stuff like that and I draw that kind of thing as well), but he also tried to run away from home a few months back. Yes, he has been to therapy btw. Don't get me wrong, my brother is a normal kid besides all that. He has autism but has good social skills and acts like a completely normal person around strangers, and usually around friends. He gets out a lot too and is pretty extroverted, goes on night walks all the time, never passes an opportunity to go shopping, hangs out with friends when they're free, etc. So he isn't one of those weird kids rotting in their room all day. I just don't know what's going on that we don't know.
Not a parent but an older sister (8yr age gap) my younger sister is 14 and she wasted something I bought with my own money and it really made me upset. She won’t listen to me of how upset it made me and I don’t think my mom cares so like wtf do you do in this situation?
I’m 19, and occasionally I will hear a story from my parents or about my parents doing something I could never imagine them doing.
For example when my mom was 19, her and her best friend decided they were going to move from the east coast to San Diego. They got an apartment together, worked at the same place, and daily drove sports cars, a used 89 240sx and a used late 80s rx7.
Now if it’s less than 45°F my mom leaves the house with a winter coat and gloves.
Is it just something that comes with age? Or did having kids force you to mature?
I do so many stupid teenager things, and I always think to myself “yeah there’s no way my dad woulda done shit like this” to find out he’s done shit worse than it.
But my dad doesn’t do stuff like that anymore. Am I really gonna mature THAT much by the time I have kids???
Brief history:
I (18M) haven’t seen my birth father since I was around 9-10. My parents divorced when I was very young, and I used to spend weekends with him, but that slowly faded away.
My stepfather adopted me after about a year of no contact with my birth father. He is a great man and great Dad. I have no regrets about him being the man who has basically raised me.
Since turning 18, I have thought about reaching out to my birth father. Not because I want him to be my dad, but because I’d like to see if he’s up for an adult conversation and tell me his side of the story.
Is this a good idea? What do I say? Will this break my now-legal father’s heart and make him feel inadequate?
Thanks in advance. (If there’s a better sub for this question let me know)
I recently got a full-time job at a new hospital building that opens soon. My start date is December 9, with orientation running until early January and a major transition to their new building (where I’ll be working) happening at the end of December. My mom booked tickets for a family trip overseas from December 27 to January 18, even though the family repeatedly said this trip wasn’t feasible this year. My mom knew that I’d been applying for jobs, idk why she expected me to not potentially have a new job soon? She made all of us renew our passports and everything.
She’s now pressuring me to go on the trip and switch to per diem instead of staying full-time, but I have student loans due on January 8th and can't afford to lose the stability of this new role. My older sister also can’t go because she’s in orientation for her new job. My brother is starting grad school in January, and my dad is launching a new business after being laid off. On top of that, my younger sister who is in high school would be missing 3 weeks of school in her senior year. At first she said the whole family must go and then she settled for just me and my younger sister. I didn’t think I’d get the job at all but found out after she bought the tickets. Which on my end I should’ve communicated, but knowing my mom she would’ve said the same thing about telling my job I’m traveling and moving to per diem.
I’ve explained that my job requires me to be present during this critical period, but my mom doesn’t understand and is upset with me. How do I handle this? How can I communicate to her that I can’t go on this trip without jeopardizing my career? I just got off the phone with her and she’s pissed. My student loans are more important than this trip.
I was talking to a friend who is in B2B sales. We had a convesation about negotiating with our children and wanting to snip it short. I reminded him that he is in sales, and we both agreed that sales and negotiation are valuable skills. So, why as parents would we want to take a "you can't negotiate with me or about this" stand with our children.
tl;dr - title.
I am a parent of two teens who both have uterus. I also have a uterus. We all use different types of products to deal with our bleeding. One of my teens uses pads. They just chuck them in the garbage when they are used and move on with their life. I have no issue with this and neither does the majority of the household.
The problem is my mother in law. She lives with us due to her health. Every month she complains about the pads. She says that it’s unsanitary and disgusting to see in the trash. I don’t know what to say. I can’t understand where she is coming from and I want to tell her off. I also don’t want to cause more drama than is necessary.
How do i handle this in a grown up way? I won’t force my kid to use other products just to make mil feel better. Everyone should use what is best for them.
Edit: They don’t wrap them up. That is the main point of contention. I just don’t understand the need to and so didn’t teach them that.
A can with a lid does seem like a great idea and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. Thank you.
Hello Reddit. So I have a bit of a thing with my soon to be 18 year old son. Hes been asking that since hes of age if he can go clubbing on his own down town, stay the night over at someone he hooks up with etc. or go to certain places in the town that I personally am not comfortable with. He also wants to have the ability to “just inform” me when hes going out instead of having to ask. He claims he wants to make the best of his two years left being a teen and doesn’t want to feel unfairly treated. How can I approach this?
I’ve been thinking a lot about inheritance lately. Most people expect to inherit everything from their parents, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s always the best move, especially if the kids are already financially secure.
If parents have already helped their kids with education, business ventures, or career support, do they really need to leave them the entire estate??
Personally, I think it might make more sense for parents to give their kids a smaller portion.. maybe 15-20% and donate the rest to charity or meaningful causes.
This way, the kids still get something, but the majority goes to help others. It also prevents kids from becoming dependent on the inheritance and teaches the value of being independent and giving back ig?
What do you think? Should parents leave a smaller inheritance if their kids are already well off, and donate the rest to charity? Share your perspective please!
I’m the youngest, i think i’m my moms favourite but not my dads and it dosent really bother me but i’ve always been curious how it gets brought up, is one child just so much more well behaved in their youth? Thanks!
Today's toddler shows can sometimes be absolutely annoying. They have characters which can literally scream into your ear, too much fast paced action, no gentleness and a hyperactive tone that can even anger you to the point where you turn the TV off.
But the question is: what toddler shows do you actually find relaxing?
Caillou isn't. Many, many parents hate him. Here are some examples of toddler shows I find relaxing:
What else can you name? Remember, not all toddler shows are relaxing, but you can name some that your toddler finds relaxing, or name some that are also meant to be relaxing for parents, who secretly watch after their kids have gone to bed (yeah, I'm also talking about Bluey). So, what is your favourite show that your kids watch that you secretly love?
I would like to know.