Just curious if anyone else has felt this way- I’ve nannied full time for just about 10 years. I’ve always gotten along great with my families and am still in close contact with most of them. I genuinely enjoyed being a nanny and thought it was my calling. The past two or so years have been a struggle for me. I’m now mid-thirties so I’m around the same age as a lot of my nanny parents. It’s taking a mental toll on me being around people my age who are so well off (all of them make $1 mil+ a year). Not only that but I’m there as their nanny and while they don’t treat me like this I can’t help but feel like I’m just viewed as less than. I started with a new family recently and they’re nice but the mom gave me a list of demands day 1 (not child related) and I just felt completely demoralized. I’m not sure how to explain how I’m feeling tbh. I think I’m highly burnt out but struggling to even have an idea of a job I’d rather do that involves children/development that also pays well. Am I alone in this feeling or have you gone through something similar? What did you end up doing?

This last year I was hoping to go back to school for family studies and child development, however due to financial constraints the degree program I was seeking is just not on the books for now. That being said I was looking into pursuing a degree in psychology despite not necessarily wanting to dive into this field directly and very much so plan to continue nannying. With this in mind, I spoke to my current MB and got her opinion as a medical professional and my boss and she suggested I look into becoming a COTA and thinks the knowledge gained from it could be highly beneficial in finding future jobs as a nanny. I’ve been a full time nanny for 5 years now and have lots of experience but as I grow I’d like my skill set to as well and I imagine families would like to see I’ve consistently improved myself as well. So I guess my question is as an employer what would you like to see and would you see a BA vs certified OTA and think one is more qualified than the other? Would one warrant you to want to pay them More or give them more benefits? (As of right now I possess 34+ college hours in Ec-6th education)

Sorry I know I probably sound like a broken record about this app, I paid and made an account before looking at reviews but since I paid for it I’m trying to make it work. But I have questions. The big one is, are there better apps out there for nannying, I would like a relatively definitive answer that most people agree is the best- if possible, please and thank you.

Ok soo … this app sucks. I don’t know if it’s on my side but I seemingly “broke” the app on my phone and had to freaken purchase the account once again because my old account I had to delete, but I couldnt make a new account on my phone and I kept TRYING AND TRYING, they have no customer service to actually reach out to just a dumb BOT and when u give them ur email for I assume a person to finally reach out to u it’s a generic ANSWER like dude I’m asking for help!!!! They just repeat what they tell u to on the website if u are having trouble, trouble shooting. So anyways now I have an account in my tablet which sucks because the only 2 responses I got back from a dozen or more jobs I’ve applied to take so long to communicate. Like I can’t tell if it’s my end of the apps fault of these parents just taking their SWEET TIME TO MESSAGE BACK. I’m assuming it’s that imo cuz I answer relatively quick and it doesn’t makes sense if the app does that . But who am I .. anyways I’ve seen some discourse on parents having a power trip and I’m convinced already with the limited replies I get back from them cuz like DUDE I REPLIED BACK TO U IN LESS THEN 2 MINS WHERE DID U GO?!?? U KNOW IM LOOKING FOR A JOB PLEASE STOP! I feel like the baby in this situation because I have such a frustration already with these people - I just want to Homer Simpson choke them !!!!! Like what a weirdly seeming power trip!!!!!

Hello all! I am a first-time parent seeking a nanny. I’ve heard great things about Care.com so I posted a job there, as well as joining several FB groups in my area to help with our search. I have done SERIOUS groundwork… Researching fair compensation packages, examples of contracts, questions to ask, what other parents are asking for in FB groups, etc. Despite that, I have had a really difficult time getting “interested” candidates to follow through with emailing me their resume and phone # to setup an initial phone call. 1 candidate has ghosted me following an initial call that I thought went really well and I invited her to schedule an hour meeting in our home.

What am I doing wrong? Requesting a resume is standard practice for nearly any job. I’m offering a fair wage ($28 per hour) with PTO (including when we use our PTO, so 3+ weeks), paid holidays, offering an annual bonus… I don’t understand!

It’s getting to the point where I am very worried that I won’t actually be able to “lock down” a nanny in time for when we need someone.

Help!!!

Edit: Adding my Care.com job posting!

We're looking for a nanny to join our village and care for our 6-month-old during the workweek. We are both hybrid workers.

You'll spend the days with our little one maintaining routine, engaging in activities that support development, and some light baby-related household upkeep like helping with laundry or bottle washing. Our ideal nanny has infant experience, is communicative, and nurturing.

We're hoping to find someone who can become an extension of our family long-term. If this sounds like you, we'd love to chat!

We are offering guaranteed hours, paid-time-off, and sick days.

A 4yo crying and begging me to cuddle with her is just plain ridiculous. She doesn't even sleep in her own bed. Last time she woke her brother up crying because she wanted me to cuddle with her, which I will not do. I always ask families with babies how they do sleep but never considered I'd need to make sure a 4yo slept independently.

So I am the DB in this situation. We have had our nanny for our daughter since she was 3 months old, now she is 2.5. To make a very long story short, some stuff has happened at my work that has forced me to put in my notice today (toxic work environment, etc, really not that interesting but horrible to live through these last few months). I knew this might be coming and my wife (MB) and I had discussed the possibility, and determined that if worst came to worst, the best option is for me to be a SAHD for a couple years (to add: my wife is pregnant with our second, due in May).

Our overall plan is to give our nanny severance at 100% of her usual pay through the end of the year, so that hopefully she can use that time to find a new job. Money will be tight for us with me not working, but I've budgeted it out and can make this work. So what I am left with is that I am heartbroken at figuring out the logistics, and worried about a few things.

1. Our daughter has been with her since she was a tiny baby and they have a very strong bond, it will be like losing a parent for her. I don't know how to even start talking about this.

2. Just an irrational fear that letting our nanny know that she will be let go in a couple weeks, even with the severance, will lead to substandard care over the remaining time. We have had a few frustrations with our nanny over the last few months related to the transition from baby to toddler and having to deal with discipline, "I want I want", potty training, weaning from pacifiers, not letting her constantly eat junk food (or taking her out to fast food!) etc. But they honestly feel pretty run-of-the-mill with this developmental age. But I absolutely have no reason not to trust her with safety, abuse/neglect or anything like that... but I know that abruptly losing a job can cause some people to 'snap' and that is why companies handle layoffs the way they do - make it sudden and security escorts you out. So I am torn between allowing them enough time to say goodbyes (I know our daughter does way better with change when it is talked through relentlessly in the days before it happens), but not wanting this small risk of it going horribly wrong.

3. Just additional context, our nanny is a Mexican citizen in her mid-50's with permanent resident status, we pay her above board and withhold taxes etc. She is mostly fluent in English but there is sometimes a language barrier (which I think has contributed to some of the toddlerhood issues I outlined above, it's harder to communicate exactly what we are looking for sometimes due to it). I have no idea how easy it will be for her to find her next role - we live in a big liberal city in a conservative US state, and she has nannied for families connected to the large state university here for her last few jobs (that is how we found her, my wife is faculty). Usually it is easier to find those jobs in the spring/summer when everyone is looking for childcare for the new school year. But I do not think that even with Trump returning, our community would be worried about hiring a Latina (legal) immigrant.

So, really just looking for how best to approach this from timing of talking about this with nanny and daughter, and how to make this as smooth as possible for everyone. I am feeling somewhat heartbroken that it has come to this for us. Thanks.

Hey everyone, looking for advice on handling a cleanliness issue with my nanny family. I’ve been with them for over a year and a half now, and they’ve been really kind to me. I work part-time, and when I first started, this was an issue but they eventually started having a cleaner coming every couple of weeks. But I’ve noticed it’s been a few months since anyone’s been in to clean, and things have definitely gotten… not so pleasant.

The biggest issue is the toilets—they’re pretty moldy, pink, and smell bad. There’s no cleaner available in the house, and I’m limited to baby wipes, which don’t do much. Both parents work from home and are definitely around enough to notice, plus they had family over last weekend but still didn’t clean.

I do the basic tidying (vacuuming crumbs, wiping counters), but scrubbing the toilets—especially when they’re this bad—isn’t something I feel comfortable with.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have advice on how to approach this without overstepping? Thanks in advance!

I’ve been with my NF over 3 years & Ive never asked for an advance on my pay but i’m in a bit of a pinch with finances. I wanted to ask them if I could get an advance and be paid for today (7 hours total) when I am done with my shift. I don’t think if it would be a problem and I would be totally upfront & explain what is going on but i’m still nervous and really embarrassed. Any tips or opinions??

EDIT & UPDATE: Thank you so much for all of your supportive and lovely comments, I appreciate it more than you guys know 💜 My mind was at ease and I asked when we were saying our goodbyes. My NP’s were more than happy to give me my pay for the day without any hesitation and even said they would’ve been more upset if I never asked them.

I currently nanny a 1 year old and have been with the family since NK was 6 months old. They will be having a newborn soon and I’m assuming they’ll want me to care for the baby as well. The problem is I’ve never cared for a newborn! The youngest age I’ve ever had experience with is 5 months. I know there are several precautions to be taken when caring for a baby that young and small! I need advice on how to educate myself in the quickest and most efficient way! Thanks :)

I have loved my years as a nanny, but I'm sad to say I'm going to have to leave the field behind after my last 2 families.

The first was a family of a different ethnic origin than me. A few weeks into my employment, they moved a live-in chef and housekeeper into their home who was their same ethnicity, and whose primary language was not English as mine is. For another week or two, it went really well, to my knowledge. The other worker practiced her English with me, while I practiced her language, and we shared many happy meals together etc.
At the end of the second week with the new employee, I was let go with no notice via text that "I was a wonderful caregiver, but (they) want to find a (their ethnicity) nanny," and was effectively unemployed.

The job market in my area nannying or otherwise is very over saturated with applicants, and it took me almost a month to start with a new family. This family let me go, also with no notice via text, again due to no fault of my own. The mother decided she wanted to be a stay at home parent a bit longer.

Most of my nanny families have been great long term experiences, but the past month has left me with zero resources and an eviction on the horizon (which is just the tip of the iceberg of concerns).

Feeling very disappointed things have ended up this way despite the genuine love and diligence that I put into my roles.

My Nk who is almost 6 has been using some language i’m not comfortable with! Nothing too insane but things like stupid,bomb,punch,die,ect. Is this really that big of a deal or am i overreacting? I’ve been just ignoring any negative language because i can see in NK face that it’s a reaction/attention grab. Is there a better way too handle it? I’m assuming that NP aren’t too comfortable with it either but even if they are I don’t like that language for a young child when they are with me!

I'm a nanny in Massachusetts. Whenever I start with a new family I ask if I will get Monday holidays off. The answer is always yes but then I end up working. I suppose I should be specific since I am not happy that I am working today. What are the holidays that most of you contract for?

I’ve been preparing for this for months but I still don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from crying. I’ve been with this family for the past couple of years, first part time then transitioned to full time once baby sister was born. They are a great family, though we’re not super personal we still have a good relationship, I even know/have a good relationship with the extended family. The reason I’m leaving is not them and that’s what makes it so hard. I received a job opportunity to start at the beginning of the year for $10 more an hour with 10 less hours a week from the family I work for part time (have been working with them for the same amount of time as current NF) so a total of 15-20 hours less a week. Basically will match my current earnings with way less hours and a more flexible schedule. I’ll also have job security for a minimum of 2 years whereas the one I’m at now only needs me till August. It would obviously be a no brainer to take the other job, especially since I’m starting school in the spring and I cannot bare to sit in someone else’s house for 9 hours a day then sit in traffic for an extra hour day after day anymore. I feel bad because the family really did nothing wrong, I just cannot fulfill their needs anymore. Any words of encouragement or advice on how to tell them from nannies or nanny parents would be greatly appreciated.

I’m a nanny for a 2 year old nk who’s 28 months old. I need ideas for activities since all of our current activities and toys are getting old. The only new activity I can think of is simple color, cut, and glue worksheets. I need help brainstorming other ideas!

I have been nannying for a family for about two years now and I even clean their house for them. Including taking care of their countless animals. They have 3 young kids two of which are in preschool for half the day and I am only getting paid $20/hr. I also work at least 45 hours a week for them. I wanted to ask for a raise last year but I ended up chickening out because I was scared of them saying no. Does anyone have any advice or the best way to ask for a raise while being kind about it?

I’ve written about this family many times along with the struggles I have had with them and at the beginning of this month I let them know that I’m struggling mentally too much to handle working with kids. I have been with the family in London for a year and a half and get on well with them. So I was a little shocked today when the mum, told me that “we think it’s best for your mental health to go home sooner rather than to stay until Christmas like we discussed.” I am not yet diagnosed as my appointment is at the end of the month but I am most likely depressed and definitely have anxiety due to my panic attacks. Do they think I’m Unstable or something? I feel very weird about everything as I needed the time until Christmas to look for another job. I can’t convince them to let me stay anymore as the mum has been pushy about this since I gave them my months notice. At least I’m moving back home with my parents, but still.

Hi friends I mostly need to vent to people who get it bc none of my real life friends have ever been a nanny but boy am I stressed. I’m currently in grad school full time and also nannying full time so you can imagine my stress. I have been with the family for over a year now and they started off very nice and understanding but lately I feel some sort of shift, mostly with the DB. When he speaks to me, there’s some sort of hostility in his voice. He made a passive aggressive comment the other day about doing dishes. When I started the youngest was still a baby so I cleaned bottles and did laundry while he napped. Now he is a full on running around and screaming toddler, no longer on bottles and takes one nap a day. His older brother used to nap in the afternoons (at the same time and brother) but does not nap anymore. I don’t really have any down time because of the lack of napping and most days I don’t get a break which is fine. DB has always emphasized to focus on the kids, do basic picking up from meals, and get to other stuff if I have time. I don’t know if he thinks I’m doing nothing all day but I genuinely do not have time to get to anything extra a lot of the time. Not to mention the NKs are both high energy. Also, DB frequently complains about his wife to me. It’s been interesting to notice that the same things he seems to show frustration about with me and my job are the same things he complains about to me about his wife. It puts me in an extremely uncomfortable situation because MB is obviously also my boss…. so what am I supposed to say. It’s just weird. They fight in front of me sometimes too which is also uncomfortable. I recently moved in with my boyfriend and DB has made comments about how I need to make sure I’m being fair with chores and responsibilities like crazy to think I’m not and also just out of line to even say to me. They expect me to also potty train B3 (almost 4) but they won’t put any work into it when I’m not there, so obviously it’s not working. The stress of everything combined has really been making me want to find a new job. I’m also feeling stressed about my future and I don’t know what I want to do or if my current path is right for me so I want to figure that out. I’m also getting booted off my parent’s health insurance in a few months, so it would be nice to have a job that could provide me insurance. I’m so attached to the kids and I feel like I really help them a lot but nothing I do is appreciated. I feel like DB focuses only on the small things I don’t do, never the things I do get done. I can’t help but feel like all of the relationship problems of the parents are being projected onto me. Another thing is that B3 has autism. My background is working with autistic children and I’m in school for special education, so I know a thing or two. Not everything, but sometimes I can offer up some good advice. DB never wants to listen to me, even when he asks for advice. I won’t give unsolicited advice, so when he asks I will tell him what I know. Why even ask if you don’t want to listen to what I’m saying? There’s obviously a lot more I could get into, but my major problem right now is I feel stuck. I know it wouldn’t be hard for them to find someone to replace me. I just hate confrontation and I don’t know how to bring it up and I would feel guilty just because it’s one more problem for them. I have to do a practicum for my degree, which I was hoping would fall on this next semester so I could use that as an excuse to leave, but that is not the case. I don’t know what is best for me and for the kids and I am having such a hard time :(

So if Trump imposes all these tariffs and tanks the economy even more, what are we doing? The job prospects in this field have already become sparse in the past year or two and I can only imagine what it'll be like if things continue to get worse. The demand for childcare will still be high but no one will be able to afford it. As a luxury service, more and more people will opt for the cheapest option.

On top of the economy issues, I'm a transmasculine person. This made it extremely difficult to find the job I have now and I have a feeling when my contract expires next summer it'll be near impossible to find something. Working at a daycare or being a teacher are also off the table since the DoE is at risk and daycares will likely face similar issues.

If you have any advice I would love to hear it. This is not a political post so please keep your opinions to yourself. I am simply looking for advice on how to pivot should nannying no longer be a viable option.

Throwaway bc im paranoid

I'm so guilty writing this because my NF is amazing. But I'm just so burnt out. Its Monday and I don't want to be here anymore 5 hours into my 13 hour day.

I work 55-60 hours in a week. I dont have that much time for myself when I get home. And this past weekend I have been feeling so guilty for not being able to clean- because all I was able to do is to eat and lay down the whole day at the expense of my home chores. My stress ticks are coming out. The eye twitching, the headaches.

I want to be done being a nanny and it hurts to say it because I love my NK. But I can't do it anymore. I'm interviewing for other nanny positions and it seems most of them need for more that 50 hours per week. I just can't stay in the nanny profession at this point.

P.S currently in the talks of bringing my hours down but idk if thats gonna happen.

Hi everyone! I need some advice: I’m weaning a 12-month-old off formula to regular milk, and I recommended whole milk for the transition. However, the parents decided to buy “Raw Cow's Milk for Pets” from a farmer's market instead. They assured me it’s safe for babies, but I’m concerned because the milk jug says “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.” Has anyone else encountered this? Is this actually safe?

Hi all! I am very happy with my current NF, but it won’t last forever simply because of their needs. I’m kind of in a unique situation where I moved with my NF (not live in) so once this job eventually ends I’ll most likely be relocating again. I’m from the west coast so it’s kind of random, but there’s someone very special to me that has to live in Jacksonville. So in the spirit of planning (fantasizing) for things down the line I thought I’d come here to get an idea of the nanny scene in the area.

Any information is welcome and appreciated, but some of my main questions for nannies and NFs in the area are: How’s the job market for nannies out there? What’s the average rate offered? Are there any good agencies? I’ve never worked with an agency, but new location and all that. I can’t think of anything else rn so I’ll leave it at that. TIA!

Hi! Where do you find possible job leads? I’m in a bunch of fb groups and am not getting much traction. Mostly just a lot of nanny gigs that require too much housekeeping help(in my opinion).

Any help appreciated!

UPDATE! I took a while to sit on this and really think about my feelings and this friendship.

Again knowing how she is I confronted her fully knowing/ expecting to get zero apology. I brought up all of the issues I listed in this post, and like I expected, she completely tried to flip it.

It was: "How dare you be upset about anything when I did you the favor of watching your dogs" (keeping in mind she was paid)

"The kitchen drawer already had issues"(which is true, it would get slightly stuck, but it was never completely broken)

"You never asked if anything needed to be replaced" (referring to the mouthwash and body wash which to me is like well duh I didn't know they would be empty so how was I to know to ask?)

"The chair was cheap and old anyway so how long could you expect it to last " ( while yes it wasn't an expensive chair, it was only 2 years old and in great shape when I left it. Not to sound rude or mean or anything but she is close to 300 pounds so it's possible that she was embarrassed that she broke it, but agai absolutely zero thoughts of taking responsibility whatsoever)

And lastly, the nail polish was apparently already there (I have never once painted my nails on my couch)

So all in all the conversation went pretty much how I expected it would. I didn't even respond to her after this. I deleted her on all social media as well.

I was hesitant to have this conversation. I didn't know if I was ready to end a friendship of over 10 years. But I'm glad I did because I actually feel such a weight off of me. Looking back, the friendship really should have ended years ago.

I'm at a loss for words This is NNR, so delete if not allowed, but I feel like as people who work in other houses you guys will relate. So l just went on a vacation and my best friend dog sat for the week. Upon arriving home, I start noticing a whole slew of things messed up. I'm finding her fake finger nails all over my house (thank god my dogs don't eat stuff like that but you never know) I go into the shower and all of my shampoos and soaps are left open, tipped over, and leaking all around the tub. She also used my makeup that I left which I wouldn't mind, but again, everything is left open. There's powder all over my vanity, foundation spilled, brushes not put back in the brush holders. Just a mess. There's nail polish spilled on the floor and my couch. Broke the back of my vanity chair. My mouthwash and body wash are completely empty (which is fine that she used them, but she could have at least told me they were empty. She knew I was stopping at the store before coming home) And to top it all off, she completely broke a kitchen drawer. We opened it and it completely came out. Didn't say a word about it. I'm just completely at a loss for words. I truly do not understand how as an almost 30 year old person you go into someone's house and do those things in the first place, but then also not say anything about it either. She offered to do it for free, but I still paid her anyway because it's a big favor for me. I don't even know what I should do at this point. I just feel so disgusting and disrespected.

I was talking to my NK6 about cussing. He cusses a lot when he gets mad, do something wrong, when he's upset with me or just for fun. I asked him where he learned those words (fk, idiot, sht, mixes them up like f*king idiot, etc.) I initially thought that he learned it from school because his parents seem very nice and calm. I guess I was wrong because NK5 said he learned it all from DB. I asked him when his dad says those things and he said "He says it when he gets mad." He also told me that dad calls him an idiot when he's bad. And, I didn't ask about it he just shared lol, apparently dad throws trash out the window when driving. I asked that maybe he just heard it wrong or maybe heard it from someone else but he's firm he learned it all from dad.

I don't care for people cussing at all. But I've always taught my NKs (if parents allow them to cuss) to never cuss someone. They can cuss cause they're frustrated at something they're doing but never to someone. I've always sensed that NPs are passive aggressive in a very gentle way, like I immediately could tell when I first started for them. I know he's 5, but NK5 is on the spectrum and highly intelligent, can remember/notice things most adults don't. However, I will be giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Edit: Their parents corrects NK whenever he cusses. I think if you don't want your kids cussing then maybe don't cuss infront of them and calling them idiot!!

This has gotta be the most irritating thing for someone to say. Being a nanny is a real job. I’m paid very well (over the table), have PTO, benefits, paid holidays etc. Everything I would have at a “real job”. I’m just ranting but it’s very annoying that some people do not take this career seriously!!

Hey everyone!!

I freshly have moved on to a new position as I’m getting married and relocated to be closer with my fiancé after 4 years with my previous NF.

Today I start with a new family! The parents are absolutely wonderful and seem to be such purely kind people. I’m very excited I’ve found them. They have a 3m old and I am 2 years rusty with infants, because my former NKs were 4 and 2.

I am mainly seeking just some advice and inspiration. This new position is much slower than what I’ve been used to the past few years going from silly and wild toddlers to a quiet new baby!

Parents - what would you prefer/like to see your nanny do while baby naps? They don’t want me doing any chores except for baby bottles, but that only takes 5 minutes. Is bringing a book acceptable? They keep a very tidy home so nothing is even out of place for me to do while baby is napping. I feel bad reading books on my phone while baby naps but I also don’t enjoy watching television which MB suggested I could do. My last NP gave me daily chores, so this downtime is new to me - and kind of gives me anxiety 😅

Nanny’s - what is your favorite things to do with babies 3M-5m? I have lots of milestone friendly activities but would love some refresh on suggestions! What do you nanny’s do that have downtime?

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it!

I don’t know about you guys, but I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts, especially when I have NK that can’t talk yet or while they’re napping and I’m doing other tasks. So I decided to start my own! It kind of feels high-pressure because I feel like as a nanny this career sometimes feels, like a ticking time bomb. So in my dreamiest of dreams, I could use this podcast for the future. It’s called Wanna Hear a Fun Fact? and I would love it if some of you would be willing to listen. (This is the closest thing I have to coworkers.)

Hey friends.

I have Christmas Eve off in my contract along with getting holiday pay for it, but my MB is asking if I could work 8am-1pm vs my usual 8am-5pm. They’re doctors, so I understand.

I’m agreeing to do it but would it be fair to ask if I get paid for the entire day vs just getting paid for those shortened hours?

Thanks!!!

UPDATE; you guys gave me the balls to ask for time and a half instead and she said she’s totally fine with that!! Thank you guys! Sincerely, an overthinking nanny.

I have a 22-month-old who has had a nanny that entered the field informally as a mom off/on 15 years ago.

She's been with LO since he was 4-months-old and is generally reliable. One issue is that she has intermittently limited her hours on occasion after committing to the hours I need (due to not having sufficient childcare of her own).

I work long hours as a single parent and have hired multiple other nannies at once or adjusted my work hours just to hold on to her.

She has offered to have family watch her kid. She has offered to put her daughter in before and after school programs to accommodate my preferred work hours, but doesn't favor this (not because of cost, but will cite reasons like her kid having to wake up too early etc). When it comes down to it, she has never come through on these offers and generally wants to bring the kid to work (for various reasons, it has been a no). My kid needs 5 eyes on him at this age and with his temperament.

In the grand scheme of things, I've felt like I'm more often accomodating her availability rather than her accommodating the hours I need (after agreeing to them).

I hold on to her because she is extremely efficient with balancing housework and toddler care (although it has come at the cost of providing LO with fewer fun/stimulating activities together). For that, she is a super hero.

I eventually enrolled LO in daycare part time for peace of mind and so he can have more fun. Win win...

She cannot transport or care for him at 6 AM.

...Along comes a candidate who can spot my nanny in the early AM for the short run as her "trial period" before she goes on a long trip. She agreed to take LO TO daycare so I can come home from work earlier.

She has a formal ECE degree (European equivalent of a Masters) and came to me asking top, top dollar. She is multilingual, but I don't require her language skills.

Her experience has been mainly as a floater-to-perm teacher in an infant classroom at a "prestigious" Ivy League affiliated ECE setting. Beyond that, she has some foster care experience (again with an infant).

Despite her lack of experience as an actual nanny (including transport/car seat exposure)...

Despite her desire to be comped similarly to a career nanny of many years...

I took a chance because she lives close by and it really facilitates early AM care.

She also interviewed really well. I tend to hire the first or second person I interview. I am not picky.

For context, she had 2 stellar references (albeit limited to a teacher friend at school and a school director) ...

I offered her nearly triple her top dollar desired hourly rate to help get LO up and to school (school is 2 miles away).

When I asked, she was transparent about being gone for a 1 month at 6 weeks after starting. We both understand this may or may not be a long term role (if she leaves us, I ask that she give me 2 weeks).

Many families will not hire her knowing she'll be gone for so long right after starting IMO. So it's a great short term/trial gig or one that she can stack on to another position's hours if she chooses.

We are 1 week into this arrangement and she had been impressive with punctuality, communication with detailed texts of the daily drop off process, eagerness to learn and adapt to the home setting, active listening, and what seems like a genuine passion for the field.

She struck me as being very perceptive, detail oriented, and basically "Type A" in ways that will support being a fantastic nanny some day (although perhaps a bit more rigid than my original nanny).

During the trial, she agreed to babysit LO over a long weekend for a sensitive appointment I had. On that day, what I had riding was a $250 penalty for any no-showing.

The day before, I get a text from her that she took a 600 mile road trip out-of-state and her car broke down in another state on a Sunday morning (unclear if a shop can get to it in time to return for Monday AM).

She told me she likely won't be able to watch LO on Monday or part of the following week depending on her car situation. I was turned off on many levels beyond having to scramble for coverage on a long weekend or facing a hefty penalty for canceling my own appt.

Simply put, one is unlikely to call in like this a week into being hired as an ECE teacher at a "prestigious" school setting. Or am I wrong?

Here is where I think a lack of formal nannying experience is showing... The relationship with an employer is more personal as a nanny. A nanny has experience planning ahead around what can and might happen in terms of situations potentially impacting care on a given day.

Honestly I considered firing her if I had to pay the $250 penalty as a no-show to my own appointment and if she is flaking this early. I get that life happens and told her as much, but then she just went to town with "situations out of my control."

TL;DR Am I overreacting or was she irresponsible?

EDIT: I think I baited myself by asking if overreacted. I appreciate that posts like this can trigger transference about "demanding" nanny families (and I'm far from it). Posts like this can also trigger feelings about not being a mom-friendly mom employer...That's not the case here. I arrange for child care so I can attend to my job. This is what it means to be a mother for most of us.

The core intention with bringing up nanny #2 was to understand the value of a seasoned nanny's experience vs if someone just has an ECE degree + teaching experience (but has never nannied).

While life happens and nothing was intentional, would an experienced nanny be more likely to plan ahead of unexpected situations that can impact care?

ECE teachers don't have to plan around the family's life and schedules.

Let's say a NF has a critical surgery coming up. If you're headed out of town and driving back from a 10-hour road trip the night before you agree to provide care, would you give the family a heads up knowing all kinds of sh*t can and does go wrong? Being 600 miles away is different than your car breaking down 30 miles away.

Asked for a raise for an extra child in March and NPs are surprised and questioning why I'd get a raise. Their baby will be 6months old by the time they're my responsibility and I already have a ton of household chores they ask me to do: dishes/dishwasher, garbage removal, whole family's laundry, vacuuming and mopping the whole house, plant care, pet care, food prep, food shopping, pickup orders, etc.

I'm fine to do this with one kid who still naps and I can bring him with me for errands and help me with other tasks, but their nap has been cut short and they said they want this done while he's sleeping so I'm struggling to finish even these tasks without the baby.

I mentioned we could cut back tasks to keep my pay the same possibly ($21 in HCOL area, thinking maybe to ask for $2-3 more) but if I'm asked for extra tasks I'd need more money. I'm gonna try and negotiate for just kids laundry, dishes, kid garbage and cleanup, and bringing them to activities but I know they'll have major push back after all I've done in the house that they'll have to do it now. Any job you get more responsibilities you get a pay raise and I'm going to go into the negotiation with kindness but firmness, but I'm annoyed I have to explain how me running the household and taking care of both kids is exhausting and not sustainable long-term! I love them but they're not my kids and this isn't my house 😭 I have a lot going on so I'm asking for a reality check if I'm out of line, thanks so much for any input! ❤️