I swear almost every subreddit I’m in is filled with posts that start like this “My boyfriend…”. No, they’re not dating/relationship related subreddits they’re subreddits related to an aesthetic or series I like and every other post is like “My boyfriend got me this today guys!”, proceeds to show off what their boyfriend got them. While I am so happy that they all have boyfriends that gift them things it’s gets so depressing constantly hearing about something I cannot relate to all the time. Like jeez, I wish I had a boyfriend buying me all these cute things lol, I’m joking btw. No instead I’ve got men referring to me as scary and treating me like the dirt underneath their shoe. The juxtaposition of constantly hearing about men treating their girlfriends with care and respect while men in general tend to treat me otherwise is just so very depressing y’know?

It’s just a constant reminder of what I don’t have and what I’ve never experienced a day in my life. Not to mention with how often I see posts like this it makes me wonder just how many people are in relationships while I’m sitting here whining about never being in one haha. 🫠 If it were every now and then sure, but it’s just about every other post in almost all of the subreddits I’m in.

I know I shouldn’t be letting it bother me but I’m feeling emotionally vulnerable these days 😭. I’m almost 30 and am realizing all the things I’ve missed out on and never experienced and will likely continue to.

African countries don't count because African men collectively hate us as well, mistreat African women, subjugate them and put white women and lighter skin on a pedestal.

I just wish there was even one place in the world where Black women are valued, protected, and seen as the standard. I would drop everything and go there in a heartbeat.

I believe at this point, I can't be happy even if I have a relationship. I'm in my late 20's. I am ugly. No, I can't fix the ugly. I've tried everything just to look average yet I am still ugly. I feel so angry whenever people give me advices on how to look better. I already had surgeries (birth defects) and I got botched terribly. My nose is broken. All my life, I spent all my money on surgeries and thus, I couldn't experience my youth. Yet I am still ugly. I think it is so unfair. And now I am getting older, there is no hope for me. Because from this point onwards, I am only getting uglier.

I just think I can't be happy anymore, even if there was someone who showed me interest. When I was younger, I was dreaming that someone can still love me despite how I look. But now I don't think the same way. No, I don't want to be loved because of my personality. Because I know I'll be compared to other women all the time. I'll always feel insecure. No, I don't need that. I don't want that. You never see a romcom with unattractive leads, right? Life is the same.

So I'm bisexual, and the classic sentence I get is "you have double the amount of options" But it's bullshit! Because I cannot even get a date with a woman/ non binary / trans person...

I (32f) have been on a quest for friendship for the past few years. I would love a solid group of ladies in my life. I regularly go to meet-ups, and I have been actively trying to pursue a friendship with any of the women that I feel like I vibed with. Also with co-workers as well. But man, it is so difficult, and I don't know if it's just me! It's so hard to get out of the acquaintance zone with ANYONE these days. I have found that pretty much all of my "friendship leads" don't go anywhere, because people don't reply, leave me on read, and have the endless circle of "we should catch up", I try to actively arrange something, and then it doesn't go anywhere because they don't reply.

It's just so hard to get close to anyone. I know there's a loneliness epidemic and I feel like most people are a little bit lonely, but if this is the case, then I honestly feel like most people aren't trying hard enough.

I don't think I'm asking for too much, or am I? I'm quite chill about slow replies generally, I'd be happy for at least one reply a week! I get folk get busy and need alone time and whatnot.

I have this one acquaintance I made from a meetup who keeps sending me links to events we could go to, I reply enthusiastically and then she disappears off the place of the planet, and when I follow up by saying "so are we going to this event" she will only re-appear by the time the event has passed! It's so bizarre!

I gravitate towards women like myself - single and child-free the most. I've tried being friends with woman married with kids but there's literally no point. Nothing in common and no replies.

I kind of just feel like most female friends are treating me a bit like a cat flap, coming and going as they please, showing me affection and then disappearing. Has anyone else experienced this? It's really discouraging. I feel like I'm making such an effort with people, and it's rubbish when it's not reciprocated.

I got kicked out yesterday and currently am homeless with nowhere to go. and I don't have much friends to rely on or to shelter me for a while, but this also makes me feel bad about being FA cus if I had, had a bf I probably would've had someone go have lived with immediately after this happened or I could've already been living with someone to have gotten away from my family sooner. I need comfort.. I need a hug, I need reassurance, I need to feel welcomed.

Most recent posts I see are by teenagers or women in their early twenties. I know how hard it is to feel alone and behind your peers, but I don’t consider that forever alone, just a late bloomer. I think around 30 is really when it hits, when most of your friends are married with kids and the dating pool starts to minimize. So how many women that are 30+, and not teenagers that can’t find a date to homecoming, are actually on here?

Men showering their girlfriends with love and affection, spoiling them and thinking they're the most beautiful-- ugh shut up shutup my bitter ugly ass don't wanna know about irl relationships anymore 🫠 go be lovey dovey somewhere else. Out of sight, out of mind

if I was white I feel like my problems would be solved. id give anything to be a white woman, even an average looking one. I hate being Pakistani. everyone thinks we're ugly. I feel like I'm not deserving of love or kindness because of my background. everyone hates us, men wouldn't be so repulsed if I wasn't Pakistani. Why was I born like this?

Everybody has a boyfriend or girlfriend and acts like it’s super easy. I’ve always wondered how it felt to be normal, I was always the one left out, always called the ugly one, and ignored. No one my age has liked me. I was asked out as a joke in high school a couple of times. One guy even apologized when he realized that his friend was making fun of me by saying “My friend has a crush on you”. After graduating, it’s gotten even worse. I don’t talk to anyone all day, let alone men. I’ve always had a hard time with social interaction but I didn’t think it would be this bad. At this point, I’m wondering if I may be autistic. Not only am I extremely shy and afraid of showing my personality, I am fat and unattractive. I just want to know how it feels to have friends, a boy friend, and just a normal life. I wish I could go out and have fun but I have extreme social anxiety and have always had a difficult time in social situations.

I am trying to put myself out there and date and I have been on the dating apps for a few months by now. (I periodically download them and try dating until I cannot take it anymore, I take a break, then I come back again.) To be fair, while it was painful, I've gained a tiiiny bit of confidence from trying to connect with men, and some dating experience. It never goes anywhere though and it is exasperating.

For me, the most common outcome of meeting a guy is being ghosted after 1 or 2 dates (usually 1). I have also perfected the art of predicting who will ghost me, I can usually see it coming based on their lukewarm attitude, I can say "ooof, I am being friendzoned again." Recently something happened that broke this pattern though.

I went on a date with a guy, we had a pleasant enough conversation, at least I thought I would like to give him a chance and have a second date with him, as far as I am concerned. He, however, sounded waaaaay too enthusiastic about meeting me. He said he would love to see me again and invited me to an exhibit at an art gallery when I said I was interested in modern art. He even bragged that he knows the curator of this exhibit and could introduce me to him if I wanted to, yada yada. I said I will check my schedule to see if I can accompany him on the day he proposed and let him know. When we parted, he repeated that he was looking forward to seeing me again. The next day, I texted him to say that I checked my schedule, I was free that day and I can come to the art gallery with him, after all.

And then I never heard from him.

Lol.

This is a first. For the first time, I am being ghosted by a guy who feigned enthusiastic interest in me. I wish he had just been politely lukewarm like the others. Ouch. This hurt more.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don’t want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart’s content.

I'll never have a decent support system, my family fought today bc of money. I'm so stressed bc of it and bc of my FAW status too, like - I'll never have a bf bc of my looks. No matter how nice, gentle, kind, etc I am to people, especially men.

Most of them would rather have a bitchy but hot woman as their wife, so why people gaslight me into thinking that personality matters? If that was the case, then maybe I wouldn't be single, I wouldn't have been mocked for being a POC, for being flat chested, for having a more "quirky" personality, etc.

Besides, I never been on a date, I never been asked out either, only as a joke or a in a dare. I never got those romantic stuff that women get like love letter and flowers, etc. I see women around me getting those but it's never me. I've tried approching men but they seem to be disgusted of me, so why I should put myself there?

It's hopeless, I have nothing going on for me, I plan ending my life soon enough if nothing works out for me. I'm tired of people giving me fake hope about everything.

Maybe I'll be better gone from this world, even my family hates me. No one will ever love me.

I had a reservation for a special restaurant but then my friend cancelled on me and then everyone else I reached out to couldn’t make it.

I really wanted to go to this restaurant. I decided to post on my city’s subreddit out of desperation to see if anyone wanted to go with me on a spontaneous date. Only requirement is that they had to be kind of close to my age.

I got one message (from a 40 year old) and I’m in my twenties, so I declined.

I feel so pathetic. What am I doing? Even if it’s the worst date ever, I just want to go on a date once. Sit across a man 1 on 1 in a restaurant.

I'm not going to repeat what he said, but he attacked my entire race and myself, and tried to get a response out of me. This was one of the most racist things I've seen someone say, and he directed it at me ( although he tried to play it off as if it were not ).

I feel like I handled the situation well enough. When someone calls you & your race ugly and says everyone hates you and will NEVER like you, it's hard to think of a response to that, so I just didn't respond. After that he didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

If I were younger, I probably would have given him the emotional response he wanted, but I feel a lot more "apathic" now.

That being said, I do feel hurt. I'm not a fighter or strong. I'm pretty sensitive. This happened hours ago, and I'm still thinking about it, but I have literally no one to tell this to.

The bible says you're suppose to act as the light on the hill, but being attacked like that, in PUBLIC, and having to pretend it didn't affect me is painful.

edit: Maybe there's something going on in his life that's made him want to lash out at me. idk.

Sick of boys and girls ik coming to me to vent their relationship problems about exes or current partners. I think part of the reason they do it is bc they know I’m an alone woman (still holding onto hope for the forever part), because they think someone happily in a relationship doesn’t have time and can’t comprehend these problems. I’m naturally an empathetic person, which means people sense this and take advantage, thinking they can tell me anything and I’m there to listen 24/7 like I have nothing else to do. This resulted in me blocking and cutting off certain individuals where the conversation was very one sided, about them. None of them care abt me but everyone wants to vent their stupid love life problems. I rlly don’t wanna hear it. Yk what off and come back when you wanna talk about something else, which is probs never!

I can't find it in me to feel sad when an eyelash is out of place or some bullshit because I've simply never had the privilege of having nice features in the first place. For the most part growing up, it's just me gaslighting myself to care about cosmetics like make-up, faux extensions, lotions, serum, perfume, blah blah + whatever health gimmick is current trending because both sexes will judge you (for different reasons) if you don't have immediately have extensive knowledge on this. Especially among women suddenly you're not a girl's girl and you're not "in the know" anymore. Many times I just craved connection with other women, (especially other family members, cool aunties, older cousins etc) so I read about this kinda stuff, and it's a lazy way to get into a conversation if yk these things. Also as an the eldest sister there's this expectation that you need to "know" all the secrets to girlhood (have never had a boyfriend in my life and am in my 20s)

I wish I could just live in a commune of people who looked like me and were only focusing on health benefits rather than sex appeal. I don't think I will ever have proper sex appeal and I'm tired of chasing it, I do feel pretty sometimes it's just really not a huge priority for me. (Crazy!!)

I think I'm decent looking, not a stunning model but I'm definitely not unattractive. I wear makeup and am really into fashion. The problem is that guys may seem friendly or talk to me sometimes, but they quickly lose interest when they realize I'm awkward or can't hold a conversation. After a while, they get disinterested and don't make efforts to spark conversation.

Because of this, I've never been on a date before or been asked out at 22. I also think I'm autistic and my NP thinks I have it, but diagnosis is expensive and takes a long time.

Anyone have this problem too?

I love my sister, she is the kindest person in the world. But I also can't deny that I wish I looked like her more than anything else. Even if you take away the features I can fix, like my weight, it won't change the fact that I have such an ugly face. Even makeup can’t fix me. There is so much noticeable asymmetry. My eyes aren’t a nice shape. They are very asymmetrical on the bottom lid especially. I think my eye lids retracted on one of them due to my overactive thyroid or something. I have a lazy eye, which I had surgery on when I was a child and it did help a lot. If I don’t have my glasses on, you can usually only see I have a lazy eye when I am tired . But my glasses are a positive prescription, so it makes my eyes look bigger and my lazy eye becomes so obvious. They are also so deep set, I’ve never seen anyone with eyes so sunken into my skull like mine are. I’m not sure the best way to describe this but when I’m in bad lighting it casts a bit of a shadow on my eyes, you can’t see them properly and you can see just how sunken in they are. (It lowkey looks scary in some pictures). It doesn’t help that I also have low set eyebrows. I keep raised them raised all the time as when I don’t, it smooshes my top eyelid down a bit and it makes me look so angry and masculine.  The issue I have when I raise them though is that it makes my eyebrows look so asymmetrical (different heights) and it makes the skin between my eyebrows look weird because it makes my nose look longer and bigger than it already is. My nose is huge and wide, it looks so unflattering and I don’t think it balances out my other features that well. I have the squarest head in the world, but I also feel like my face is also so undefined.  No hair style I have can ever flatter it. My hair is so frizzy as well, I don’t know how to manage it so I just leave it in a ponytail all the time. My  skin is horrific, I have huge pores, acne, redness all over.   My teeth are so bad, I have acid reflux and they have eroded away my top front teeth so much that I have to have 2 pulled out. I hope I can get implants (but they are so expensive and Idk if I will be able to afford them but I’m trying to). I am overweight as well  but I find it so hard to lose weight (doctor thinks it is because of pcos) My breasts are so large that I am left in pain everyday. I have an overhanging belly and stretch marks. The thing about losing weight as well is that Im going to have so much lose skin that I can’t afford to get removed. My ears stick out too much, and I can say so much more.

if you saw my sister, you would not think we came from the same parents.Her features are so symmetrical. Her eyes are beautiful, she has a small nose and great facial harmony. People tell her she's pretty all the time. Meanwhile, I post on  and just get people confirming my suspicions. Neither of my parents are ugly either, I just seemed to inherit the worst combination of their traits. And even though I hate the way I look so much, I can’t stop looking at myself. I compare the way I look in different lighting and angles in selfies, mirrors and photos with the back camera on my phone all the time.

I'm just tried of it all. All this may sound so superficial to some people but I feel like looks do matter a lot. I don't think I will ever have a relationship. Guys have always called me ugly, especially in high school. I don't even have a good personality to make up for it. Im so awkward and I never know how to talk to people. So I can't even make friends.

Posted something in separate subreddit, the person seemed vaguely rude since they suggested I posted too much and they weren't going to read all that then ultimately said they solved the mystery for me when I was questioning them about it by posting a screenshot showing I post here. Something like this happen to anyone else?

I been thinking a lot and I think the reason why I'm so fixated on a potential romantic partner is because I lack basically anything else and our society especially women are also very fixated on male validation and straight relationships. The friendships I had been seriously like 80% talking about their boyfriends or family. I lack family aswell,I don't got anyone besides my parents and they been both egocentric and difficult, there's no family life. Idk what to do, I lack a support system of friends and family... It feels isolating. Idk what ppl are talking online about decenter men ans that their platonic relationship been so good. I don't feel much fulfilment in my friendships til now, I felt more like a third wheel and free therapist. All the women that I meet and get along with are male crazy.

Idk what to do or where I can seek equal friendships, im also autistic and not really that much independent... I also feel like ur just getting into a social circle when u already know someone, through family, other friends etc. What's ur situation on a support system and decentering men or romantic relationships?

Doesn’t have to be only romantically speaking, but generally; in the workplace, the mall, anywhere.

How have you been doing? Do you have any plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you’d like, FAW related or not.

Homecoming is tonight and Im at home by myself sulking and wallowing in my own self pity. All my friends, or the people I know, have boyfriends and friend groups and plans for tonight but I am by myself. I have no interest in going to big social events but it still hurt not to be invited or even asked by anyone I know. I spent the last few weeks watching hoco proposals in the hallways and even recorded one for one of my friends. That same day I got home and cried for like an hour from anger and envy. THIS SUCKS! I want it so badly and its NOT coming. Watching your classmates get their first boyfriends and girlfriends, going on dates and having their first kiss, doing all the couple stuff. TERRIBLE! You want it so badly youll do anything for it, you pray for it and wish and affirm and do everything you can to make it happen but it never comes. My teenage years are flying by, in 2 years Ill be graduating but I feel like I never got to be a real teenager. I never had a teenage romance or had anyone confess to me or express any kind of attraction to me physically or for who I am as a person. Im falling behind my peers and feel like Im forever mentally 10 years old wearing the skin of a teenager and running around playing pretend. Whatever. Its all so stupid. If you complain about this everyone will tell you to wait for your time to come but its not coming and I know its not. Might as well get used to whatever this awful feeling is now so Im not suffering as bad when Im older and still alone.

I know we’re all struggling with connection, and I’m going to guess that a lot struggle with sadness and loneliness. It’s an important reminder to keep going. You’ve got this 🩷

I complained about an uncomfortable convo at work, brought up a medical issue that was relevant to that convo. Here we are two days later. I want to dig a hole and hide in it forever

So I recently moved out of my parents house (this was a big deal for me!). And in the spirit of keeping momentum going to keep making changes in my life; I’ve been doing my best to get out with friends in real life more and meet new people.

One of these such adventures was me going out for dinner with four strangers. In my city (and I think it exists in several others) there’s this app where you take a compatibility test, it matches you with 4-7 strangers and then you all go for dinner at a place they make a reservation for you. You don’t get to know anything about anyone until you get there. It’s not a dating thing - just a getting to know more people thing. So in my group there was two other girls and two guys. Four out of the five of us really gelled well and it was a good night with lots of fun conversation and laughter. Everyone asked for my contact info after which made me feel like I really was a part of the group and that people enjoyed spending time with me.

Only one guy reached out to me after though. But our text conversations were really great; I was laughing all the time. We decided to meet up the next week for coffee. I didn’t think it was a date but also didn’t think it wasn’t; if that makes sense? He showed up a little late. But again in person we were having really great conversations and things were going well…… until my Dad called saying I needed to drive him to the hospital because my grandma had fallen and developed a brain bleed.

So of course my family comes first and I drop everything to go…. Which in hindsight might’ve looked a little suspicious. I wasn’t trying to blow him off but it definitely might’ve looked like I was getting a friend to bail me out of a date partway though (not something I’ve ever done but I’ve heard of others doing it). I texted him after I left apologizing and saying I hoped we could hang out again sometime. He responded that night… but now radio silence.

I just feel like the universe is working against me. It’s so hard not to feel like it’s not even worth trying to date if it’s just going to turn out like this every time.

I don't think there's anything worse than this disease. It leads to depression, isolation, immaturity, alienation...all which feed into social anxiety and make it worse. A destructive loop.

This disease makes me feel like an alien. I even have social anxiety symptoms with my mom, and she's the person I'm most comfortable with. A while ago I told her some of my most embarrasing feelings and thoughts about myself, that I typically keep on reddit. Ever since then I sense that she knows why I go quiet around her, which I've always done because my mind often goes blank due to being in my head. This happens with everyone, including close family. Now I notice her being awkward with me because she's realized I'm not a person of few words because I'm tired or just naturally quiet. I'm a person of few words because I'm internally on edge, feeling disconnected from everyone, even my mom.

It's insane that the reason for my feelings of despair/anxiety are all internal, when others typically feel depressed over common reasons like divorce, love, family problems, etc. I feel like the only person in the world who feels this specific feeling and it's all a result of my defective brain. I can be content alone but connecting to others is the most fundamental part of being human

They say at age 25, the brain is fully matured up to that point. Yet I don't feel any different; I'm still the same depressed and socially awkward 18 year old. Does that mean I'll always be this way? No one will stand being with me, who knows how insufferable, unattractive and immature I can become as I grow older. I don't want to grow old anymore. I'd rather have a short life than become old and wrinkled.

Unattractive men have always been the meanest and cruelest to me. I bought into the Hollywood lie that unattractive guys have a good heart and that you should give them a chance... and that ugly guys would be more lenient over your looks. LIES!

Also, for some reason, the more unattractive the guy is, the higher his standards are. It's a huge mistake to think that ugly guys will treat you better. Not to mention that settling for someone you're not attracted to just because you feel lonely is a recipe for disaster.