Is just unbearable his attitude… his parents are coming for the first time to my country ( more than 10 years here) there is a nice church here to visit, he doesn’t share almost any time with me and he boys while we are at home and Saturdays are rough so my parents asked me to go with them With the boys to that church… so I said to him and going with the boys then he says well we are going next month when they get here… I yeah I can go more than once… he says well they won’t get excited to go and I say they have been there before (as he is not aware of what we do even if I tell him)… and then he gets upset… This is just a bit of what he is Is exhausting

Hello bromos! I just wanna ask for some advice here. We have a 4 and a 2 yr old. Both super sweet and usually balanced, loving kids. The 4 year old is extremely eloquent and uses her words, talks about feelings and manages somewhat well. Except when she is getting dressed.

We live in Sweden, and it's quite cold. I grew up in Brazil in t-shirts and flip-flops, so the dressing kids for the cold, wet weather here really is the hardest part of my day. I'm not sure if everyone's kids act like this either since this was not a part of my life ever.

Every day, before leaving for school, my daughter will start putting on her pants, and then before they are fully up she will scream "These aren't fitting right!" and throw them away, screaming and crying. Usually I'll try to have her put on another pair since trying to coach her into trying the first pair will lead to a full blown tantrum, but she will get into a negative spiral and nothing will do. It's not the pants, the ones that will be okay are arbitrary.

We usually tell her by the third one that "this is the last pair you get to choose, we don't have time to change anymore. Pick one carefully and if you don't like it, you can change when you come home from preschool." She will usually settle for the pants, but once she gets in that mood, her snow pants, jacket, scarf, beanie will all be leading to screaming and throwing clothes. Nothing fits, nothing is correctly put in.

If I have time, I can do the thing I KNOW helps, which is hugging her and telling her that "I know this is frustrating but it's just clothes. Let's calm down and try to put them on one by one, you can tell me why the beanie isn't good and all help you adjust it forwards or backwards".

On one hand, I feel like helping her calm down when we are not incredibly late works somewhat well most times. On the other hand, am I rewarding her bad behavior with cuddling and coddling when this should be a normal, quick part of the day with urgency to it? Also.. omfg can she just WAIT FOR ME TO CLOSE THE JACKET BEFORE SCREAMING THAT IT'S NOT GOOD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

My parents were very much into physical punishment, and did not tolerate any big demonstration of anger or frustration. I've been on therapy for years trying to adjust, took the circle of security parenting classes that have shown me that I get super triggered by this kind of screaming because I'd be slapped on the face IMMEDIATELY if I did that growing up.

Should I continue to try and manage her emotions? How do I teach someone to be less reactive?

Obs: when she is kind and helpful, I do hug her and tell her that I appreciate she was nice, and we talk about why It worked and her answers are something of the sort "because I was happy!" or "because the clothes were good today!". Asking her to dress herself and show her little sister how to do it is helpful, but I feel like pulling that one every day might not work. Help?

I need to complain. Picture it, 2025:

Husband says we need a bookshelf. Wife (that's me) says okay say less and starts looking around.. Well our home is small, 720sq ft almost a tiny home. Where can you get furniture that's designed for small spaces? If you're thinking Ikea you'd be correct! I'm not the biggest fan of ikea (watch Broken on Netflix and you get why), but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Since I deactivated my FB I can't scroll over to the marketplace, I looked at offerup but that was not successful. Variety is the spice of life so I went to Goodwill, glanced around Walmart last time I was there and nothing.

Today I was planning on meeting MIL at Ikea which is about an hour away from my home. I showed my husband that shelf I wanted to get and he doesn't like it, doesn't like the doors. (https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/billy-oxberg-bookcase-comb-w-panel-glass-doors-brown-walnut-effect-s29581847/)

He would rather have this one: https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/billy-bookcase-combination-brown-walnut-effect-s99581815/

Cool. We can agreed, yay! I ask him to double check the dimensions where we wanna put it and when I relay the shelf's dimensions he goes "hmm, that shelf is too shallow. why is it so shallow"? BRO. IT'S FUCKING IKEA. FURNITURE FOR SMALL SPACES IS THE WHOLE DAMN BUSINESS MODEL.

He said, "we should just go to a used furniture store or something and pick one." Ladies...he works 7 days a week. I work full time and go to school full time and take care of literally everything 24/7/365 all the fucking time. I can haul Ikea furniture without his help, I'm trying to save time for HIM.

But I'll just add it to my ever-growing to-do list instead. So now I'm fuming because he's making a mountain out of a mole hill. He apologizes like 20 mins later and expects me to be all cheery and happy. NO. I acknowledge and accept your apology, but I can still be fucking mad about it.

Plans with MIL? Canceled.

Plans to buy a bookshelf so I can put my textbooks somewhere without tripping all over them or losing track of them because they're piled up somewhere? Canceled.

[Sidenote: I have a small collection of Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit and Tolkien books that I would love to take out of my closest. I also have LOTR action figures that I want to display. Including freaking SHELOB, but that's not happening either.] 😭😭

Now he gets to deal with an angry wife who will be tripping over her textbooks and knick-knacks that have no where to go because our house is 720 SQ FT.

Leave it to my husband to make a simple task so fucking difficult.

Like, for real. I barely do okay in chunky heels. My feet are dying right now. I could NEVER do stilettos and wedges are a smidge more tolerable. What is the secret?!!?! Help a girl out!!!!

I have a 1 and 2 year old who i was a SAHM wifh for their whole lives. My STBX demanded 2-2-3 schedule in mediation and tbh to that point it wasnt horrible. However..... we have had many disagreements since and even my lawyer is saying he has gotten a stick up his ass (we both have had to badger his lawyer about things but thats a story for another day....). He will never ve a teustworthy person so even if he says he wil change or do something different...no he wont.

Anyway, the last month both kids have been fucked upppp. I have a chill bedtime routine imo. We do baths every other day, teeth, hang out for a little while i get everything ready including the dog and i do 1 year old first then 2 year old to bed. I enjoy rocking and singing to them so i do that with each of them. This has been the routine since they were born. My routine has only changed slightly bc of their ages, needs, ect. But its the same just without bottles or formula really.

However since my stbx left i know damn well he has no routine; schedule or proper bed time bc in his words when we were together "im not doing that shit" and he repeatedly tried to convince me to basically let them get so tired they just pass out on the floor. I expect him to act and do worse then when we were together so id assume this is what he does. (Needless to say i never allowed this when we were together.)

He did let it slip he lays in bed with them until they fall asleep and then moved them to their beds or cribs.

The last month these kids have been damn near impossible to get down before midnight. Wake up SEVERAL TIMES a night to the point i throw them in my bed bc i can not do it anymore. I have been the solo night parent for over 2 years bc he never did it. I havent gotten to sleep past 4-6 hours of broken sleep in over....2.... years. I simply can not. So in my bed they go. I work now, i legit called off bc i didnt feel safe to drive a few times. I should note also they both were sleeping in their own beds, 10-12 hours right before this started happening. The catalyst.... i told him he needed to abide by the agreement we had and i wont be taken advantage of with my time. He wanted 50/50, im not being his child care on his time. If thats the case i will take him back to court or report it when i can. Sooo no i dont think this was a coincidence. He retaliates by covertly ruining my day/night/time i dont have the kids. Its not new. I think he is purposefully fucking up their sleep to fuck up my nights bc i work and he doesnt like that.

I cant. I cant keep up. Im drowning and just when i get them sleeping off they go to their dads house where they presumably run wild until they pass out at midnight. I mean they are 1 and 2 not 5 and 6 so its not like i can do much. Im at my parents house and im 1 person with 2 hands. I cant rock both, soothe both or even sleep train bc they would scream and talk and do wherever and wake the other up and then...im 1 person with 2 hands.

Idk im just so fucking furious and tired. Thats all i guess.

I know that's probably odd but let me explain.

I've been in my field for 11+ years and never received a promotion. I've been at my current company a little over 2 years and I'm more than ready to advance. I currently WFH 5 days a week because my commute to the office is 1 hr 30 minutes to 2 hours depending on traffic.

Now recently my manager has been floating the idea of a re-org that could make me a manager. But of course they recently mandated 2 days in office for all managers and above. I'd possibly have some flexibility on that, but I'm worried the 2 days a week will eventually turn into 5. But I would potentially make $20-$30k more.

My husband works 5 days in office which is a 2 hour commute by bus. He often gets called into things at the last minute and since he makes 5x what I do, his job is kind of the priority. My son is going to start kindergarten this August so I'll actually have less child care. And of course we just got a puppy. Plus I'm the coordinator/manager/doer of schedules, appointments, and most household chores.

So my options seem to be:

1. Stay in my current position and try to get promoted in my current role. A promotion here would be unlikely because they'd have to create the position for me and that could take years.
2. Take the manager role. Hope I can get my son into before/after school care for those 2 days I'd be in office. Get the puppy into doggy daycare (which is progress). Just hope my son doesn't have an emergency or anything during those days my husband and I are both 2 hours away at work. Also hope my husband doesn't get stuck at work or has an unexpected happy hour or whatever and I have to rush home.

Wow, this is longer than I meant it to be. I'm just feeling really frustrated. I was really hoping that after so many years prioritizing my husbands career, we could finally focus on mine. But I'm struggling to see how I could take this manager role. I mostly just wanted to rant, but any advice would much appreciated.

I love my 4.5 year old. But I'm the primary parent and I work part-time as preschool teacher to make ends meet. She has a cold so she has not be to our preschool in 3 days. I have gone into work 2 out of the three days to work with my younger age group. Today was a nightmare. I work in the Montessori environment and since they're all below three, it's constantly about reassessing their limits and needs. Today was a dumpster fire. One child was weeping and yelling the majority of the time (we go four hours), another pinched his finger in the soap dispenser (it drew blood), they all beat on each other, and one tipped over one of our mirrors and it shattered. When I got home from work, I was just so depleted. My daughter had been in with my mom and was happy as a clam. I tried my best to power through but by dinner time I was at my limit. She was yelling in my ear (on purpose) then spanking me with a table spoon which actually fucking hurt on my bare arm. This is while I'm trying to finish dinner. Then I go to draw a bath for her and she follows me upstairs. She thought I was in the bathroom so went in. I had stepped into our bedroom to turn bedtime lights on . She realizes and before she comes back, decides to lock the bathroom door and lock us both out while bath is running water. She told me she had a good secret and I'm like is it mean (bc she was using her devious voice) and she said no. Then im so bummed out and I'm like honey I can't figure this out. She sort of realizes the gravity of the situation then my sis has to deconstruct the knob and my dad has to put it back on while I bathe her. I'm so overwhelmed. Btw I'm the primary parent bc her dad lives over 30 min away and doesn't rly do much. Anyway I'm losing my mind. I apologized to her for my grumpy mood before she fell asleep but I feel so lonely irritated still. I'm j forever wishing I had more emotional support and didn't have to get burnout from childcare work and motherhood. It's such a rotten situation.

I’m so frustrated y’all. And you’re my safe space on the inter-webs as well as IRL. I don’t like to discuss money or issues relating it to my siblings and I have newer friends and that feels Ike a no no too (because we moved states).

Husband got hired at a new place for a position that wasn’t fully ready yet but they didn’t want to lose him so they hired him for a lower rate about a year ago. We see the big picture and felt comfortable with this because it’s a company he can move up the ladder and grow with. Also it’s his preferred career. So we were ok with taking a lower wage until it got closer.

Well. It’s closer. They did his review and gave him the whole “congrats we’re promoting you to the actual position you were hired for” speech. Which is great. He’s excited to do what he loves instead of helping other departments like he’s done for the last year.

The offer sounded great on paper. It’s a 5% raise from what he was hired at and is salary.

First paycheck hit today. It’s not what we expected. It’s about 300-400 short. I think it clicked that it’s because they based this percentage on his previous hourly pay. Not the hours with OT that he was actually working. So not what he was actually bringing in. So this will put us 600-800 short each month from what was expected.

So in reality… he’s gonna make 100 more a paycheck than he normally was. This isn’t a promotion. This isn’t ok. I’ve put so many house projects on hold that are quite literally falling apart. Things need to be upgraded and even the cheaper items I don’t want to purchase because I don’t know what it’s going to be like. I’ve been paying minimums on debt. I’ve delayed traveling to see my own family because it was going to be this summer-Christmas and I was going to get to go after 3 years.

And now? We’ll have nothing saved to go. I can’t with good conscience say we can go. Flying will cost 3k. Driving will be 3 days of driving one way. So I’d have to take longer than a week off work or it won’t make sense.

I can pay more on one credit card and even then we won’t pay that one off until September. I don’t want to put a trio on the card. My entire plan was to put 500 a month away for the trip so I could have the flights covered.

I’m so upset and can’t figure it out. I’ve started putting in more hours since my kids went back to school. We stop our prek payments in June so that frees up a chunk.

But.

I’m so very disappointed and I can’t stop crying and stressing. Plus I’m on my fucking period which doesn’t help. Ughhhhh.

I also don’t want to do our budget anymore. I’m so done. We have seventy billion subscriptions because my husband cannot figure it out and cancels them but opens new ones and it’s a whole story. I’m going to be taking that away because I swear we are double paying on at least 2-3 subs.

I’m burned out dealing with money and bills. Everything is so fucking expensive. Idk how to do it anymore. I’m educated. I took finance classes. Why can’t I get my head wrapped around this?!

Ugh. Idk what I’m looking for. There’s really nothing to be done except cut everything back, but damnit…We shouldn’t be here. My job pays well but I’m the parent who needs to be available to school things. So my hours are limited.

Thanks for listening. I know that was a lot longer than I intended.

Please - no shaming. I’m exhausted and in search of advice/solidarity. She is fed, rested, and changed, but she’s only content for no more than 5 minutes before she’s losing it and yelling so loud I can’t even hear my thoughts. Sometimes we have to resort to low stim screen time just to have a little break. I KNOW, no screen time allowed but I don’t think every parent can relate - some babies are just EASIER. I’d love to minimize screen time.. does anyone have any specific activities or toys that worked for their high needs LO? I take her outside when I can which helps but I can’t depend on going outside for all her wake windows. Searching for some indoor activities.

And yes I know that sometimes it’s best to allow them be bored.. has anyone had luck with this? Do they eventually just get it and stop yelling and crying?

My 3 year old got recommended for iron in IV and I'm just curious if anyone has any experience with this? Is it safe? Worth it? She has low iron and does throw up iron given to her orally but I wonder if I became more creative or consistent if it would be better than IV Iron? Idk any advice thank you!

TW: SA

I had some repressed memories of sexual assault that happened to me as a child come up in therapy about two months and I have been slowly spiraling ever since. I have an in person appointment (i normally do virtual) with my therapist and husband tomorrow, I am so scared for how it’s going to go because I’ve experienced severe suicidal ideation the last week. I just want to know if other people got through this…I feel so childish going through this at 27 when I already did all this shit as a teenager. Did you guys make it to the other side if you experienced SA as a child? or suicidal ideation? does it ever get better? will it ever go away?

I need some advice from moms who have brought their kids into adulthood.

I have twin sons who are 20. They both live at home and pay rent to us every month. One of them has a job in a restaurant, so he pays all his bills, etc. I am not worried about him.

The other makes me want to tear my hair out. He is so unmotivated! He delivers pizza about 15 hours a week; the rest of his time is spent online or with friends. He's really open about his life so I know he drinks with them and smokes weed on occasion (I suspect it's more often than "occasionally"). This kid sleeps until 4 pm, wakes up to work then stays up until 4 am! He does whatever chores we ask, but takes no responsibility (does not do them unprompted) He has no desire to better himself through school or get a better job, or move out.

We've had COUNTLESS conversations about his lack of effort. The expectation is a Full-Time Job (40 hrs a week) or School. He doesn't do either.

What I need from you experienced mamas... what are the CONSEQUENCES for not meeting expectations? I don't want to kick him out (he'll just go live on his buddy's mom's couch).

Charge more rent?

Give him more bills?

Enroll him in military BootCamp?

I feel so powerless.

Husband and I have slightly different days off. I have Friday/Saturday and he has Saturday/Sunday.

Today was my first day off, so I did what I usually do and spent it chasing/taking care of our 18 month old. Making sure she doesn't hurt herself, made, fed and cleaned up after all her meals, got her down for a nap, then did the dishes, cleaned the livingroom and vacuumed.

I'm tired. It's been a long day of up and down removing the toddler from various things she climbs on, fetching snacks, drinks and so on. You all know how it is.

Before Husband even got home from work he was complaining because he had to stop at the grocery store and didn't want to.

Calls me from the grocery store to ask questions and grumble a little more.

Gets home and starts handing off the groceries to me and about 30 seconds in goes "I'm going to be entirely useless tonight. Just gonna curl up and play video games. That's okay right?" Sounding all exasperated.

Cool.

I wouldn't care if I got to do the same thing ever but I don't. I get off work and dive straight into house work, cooking and parenting.

My SO pays the mortgage and car payment. I pay utilities and food costs. The past 2 months our water bill has been creeping up. It’s normally around $80 per month. Then it went to $120. Then it went to $160. Nothing changed in our daily usage so I brought this up to my SO twice. He said he would check some things and make sure there wasn’t a leak or a toilet running anywhere.

This month I opened our bill. $330!!

I tell him and he said “Oh yeah I need to go to Lowe’s. The toilet down here keeps running.” I said how long have you known this?! And he said about a month!!

I don’t use the bathroom he’s talking about because it’s in the basement off his man cave.

I’m so pissed off. Now I get to foot an outrageous water bill and he still hasn’t fixed the damn toilet. I went down there and turned it off at the water line!

Lazy and incompetent men I stg.

The title says it all. The kids are getting older (9 and 12) so they don't need me as much and I don't know how to deal. I'm so bored with everything. I feel like all I do is doomscroll on my phone and I'm starting to feel like if I look at my phone anymore I'll scream (she says while on her phone). We never do anything. It's cold and snowy here and there's so many illnesses out there I don't want to take the kids to the museum or something. So on the weekends we sit at home. Catching up on housework but also just bored. I work from home and my job doesn't actually take 8 hours a day so I'm on my phone most of the day. I can go other places in the house but not out of the house while I'm working. So I could be doing housework but I can't get myself motivated to do anything.

Anyone else just bored with life? We do have trips and things to look forward to but that all seems so far away.

I just need to get this out. For about a month I feel agitated and nervous and don't have the space to relax and calm down. I have ADHD with a sprinkle of autism and my ''safe space'' is so important to me. But for the past month now the eldest son of my husband has started living with us (temporarely) because he f$cked up where he used to live(agressive reasons and substance abuse). My husband just decided this was ok without asking me if I was ok with this.
My 4 year old's rhythm has been disrupted because of it(she propably also has Audhd, like almost every female in our family) and is just a mess. She's fussing all the time, tired and just won't eat or eats very little and clings to me ALL the time. We really need our routine back. I feel like I'm in some sort of waiting mode? Like I'm on edge all the time and can't breath sometimes and start to whine over the smallest thing (to me they are not small) Like this morning when I wanted to grab my daughter's morning juice. There was no more juice to be found... Or when I wanted to take something to snack yesterday evening. Aaand my snacks were gone.
Last week I was just sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling on my phone after all my momjobs in the evening and got called out by my husbands son that I had an angry face and was ignoring him. Mind you, I just have a resting b$tch face and was tired...
And so much more... I just can't relax and I'm always waiting for the next thing to happen

My partner keeps pissing in my favorite fxxking cups. first it was my Starbucks cup 2 years ago after a late night gaming session and I found it. He apologized but of course even after cleaning it I didn’t want it and threw it out. He promised to get me another and hasn’t. Today my favorite protein shaker I use for smoothies he wanted to use for coffee or something. Fine. During work he had to go to the bathroom but couldn’t get off of a call and when I walked in I realized that he had pissed in my favorite cup again and when seeing I was visibly upset said it’s not a big deal I can wash it out. I’ll buy you another one.

Do you not understand why it IS A BIG DEAL

Hey there! I just wanted to make a little post here to give some advice.

A little background on me is that I am 32, mom to 2 and getting divorced. My divorce has been ROUGHHH and my kids have been used against me and we're not even close to being divorced. So I came to the realization that i never want another human to have any power over me by using my kids. And therefore, I want no more kids. It was a hard decision, but it is an important one to getting out of my abusive marriage.

Anyways, I just changed insurance and I went to a new OBGYN to try to get my tubes removed. It was just a consult. The doctor was male, which I should have known from the get go would be an issue. He started taking information about my health and such done. And then he forced me into getting a pap smear (not what I was expecting from a consult, likely to just get more money from my appointment). When he came back he gave me all the reasons he refuses to do the surgery. And here they are:

1. I'm too fat
2. I've had other surgeries before in my life, so I shouldn't get anymore. (note: the only one that pertained to my reproductive organs was a c-section. So nothing to do with tubes)
3. I can just be on hormonal birth control for the rest of my life.
4. My boyfriend might suddenly want to have kids
5. I might want to suddenly have MORE kids.
6. and my favorite one: I'm not in the right mind to make such big decisions for myself.

All of this was said in front of a med student, and I feel bad they are getting a piss poor education from this man.

I left that appointment enraged. He went as far as saying "Don't come back until there is an actual need to be seen" which blew my mind.

Anyways, the advice I have is this. If you are looking to get sterilized, don't go to just any obgyn. If you have one you've been seeing for years, start there, if they don't agree head over to the "Childfree" sub and they have a list of doctors who don't put up a fight to get sterilized. I now have an appointment with one of those doctors in March, and it seems like it is so far away, but realistically, it is not.

This experience was so invalidating and infuriating. I just wanted to share in hopes that if another mama is wanting to be sterilized as well, don't make the mistake I did by just picking someone off my insurance. It was a waste of time and money.

Just had a bad week. I feel like all I do is cook and clean up after my children, and all they give me in return is screaming, tantrums, blatantly ignoring me and disrespect. With all this going on, I find myself reflecting on missed opportunities in my life. I think back to college and I never got asked out once which actually makes me very sad and it wasn’t like there was a lack of men or I wasn’t around them a lot in college. Just no one found interest in me. My husband was the first man I ever dated and kissed. I do love him and am happy I married him, but sometimes I just wonder about if I had stayed single longer and played the field a bit more if things would’ve turned out differently and I’d be happier. Also I keep thinking about this book club that I brought up to two of my closest mom friends a year or so ago. They both love reading so I thought they would want to do it, but they both just kinda laughed in my face saying that they hate being told what to read so they didn’t want to do it. Well a year later another mom starts THE VERY SAME book club that I was interested in starting, and guess what they both join it right away. I was never told about the book club or invited to join. I only found out about it because I overheard the two of them discussing it after it had already started. I told them that was the same one I had talked to them about a while ago and they both just started acting very awkward about it.

Just sad. With everything my kids are doing lately I just find my mind turning to these things and can’t stop feeling unloved, unnoticed, and like my life could’ve been different had I made other choices.

Edit to add that I also know the mom who started the book club, and most if not all of my mom friends in my community are in it except for me. Honestly it was kind of weird that I wasn’t invited.

My brother needed a ride from his city to our city (probably a 1hr 30 drive) since his car was in the shop. Keep in mind he’s 21 and this is his 5th car, his license got taken away because he’s THAT bad at driving. My husband went to go get him free of charge. The place was closed, he stayed at our house for the night. The next morning, he left and my husband was missing his two of three tiny shot bottles his dead close friend gave to him before he died. My husband found them deep in our trashcan and couldn’t help but cry. That’s not the worst part. My brother KNEW this, my husband even let him get sips. My brother asked to finish one of the bottles. Immediately took it from him and said no that he really wants to keep them since they are very sentimental to him. Also, we have had these bottles in our freezer for YEARS! He drank hid the one my husband TOLD him NO.

I sent my brother a text telling him hey, you’re fucked up. Our relationship is changed forever. I’ll see you around. About 10 hours passed as I’m ranting on the phone to my sister (Husband’s close friend was dating her best friend for ten years till he passed) My brother sent me this long message LYING. Saying he misunderstood. He asked my husband to go to the liquor store, my husband said “We have liquor at home” which is a lie, since we don’t drink. He said my husband told him he can drink those ones?!? Giving shitty apologies practically shrugging his shoulders through text. Btw half of his message is misspelled/weirdly repetitive. I knew he was drunk writing it.

I just want to cry from anger because MY family?!? MY family did that to the person I LOVE?!! I can’t even forget the look of pure heartbreak and disgust when he had to literally dig through trash to find those bottles. I’m horrified.

I want to go back to school and get maybe my LPN. I just am not going to progress in life where I am right now. I'm 48 with a young teen I'm raising my myself while working full time. Does it seem possible? Between working nights and going to school in the day(the classes have to be in person) when will I sleep, when will I be a mom? Should I marry somebody just to be a sahm so I can forget about working for awhile? Jk on that one. I'm so scared to do this but I have to do something or I'll always be living paycheck to paycheck, barely making it. How do I do this alone and still be a good mom, a present mom?

Does anyone else suffer from health anxiety with their children? My child was in a horrible accident 16 months ago & it could’ve easily ended with us losing him, but thank God he survived. But now my health anxiety is debilitating. I suffer from PTSD from his accident as well. Since September I’ve been convinced he has leukemia, he had blood work, found some other health issues from the blood work but no leukemia, but it’s like my brain can’t convince itself that he doesn’t have cancer of some kind. I google for hours. He had some liver enzymes that were high, googled it & a possibility was cancer & the spiral started all over again. I don’t have insurance so I can’t swing therapy. Anybody currently taking anxiety meds & think it would help me? It feels embarrassing to go to the doctor & say these things out loud but my body/brain lives in fight or flight & I am exhausted.

Yes I know air travel is way safer than driving bla bla bla. I don’t need to hear that.

My 4yo keeps asking if I’m going to come back (I rarely do This), and all I can think is all those people meters from the runway who told their families they would see them later and never saw them again. So I lie and say of course I’m going to come back when I can’t guarantee anything.

I’m dreading the weekend and dreading the see you later.

Yes I know air travel is way safer than driving bla bla bla. I don’t need to hear that.

My 4yo keeps asking if I’m going to come back (I rarely do This), and all I can think is all those people meters from the runway who told their families they would see them later and never saw them again. So I lie and say of course I’m going to come back when I can’t guarantee anything.

I’m dreading the weekend and dreading the see you later.

I went to rehab a couple months ago for a cocaine and benzo addiction. I was there for a month.

I got extremely attached to the other patients there, I mean you become like family when they're the only people you get to see and talk to every day. I especially miss my roommate, who was like a mother to me while I was there. She reminded me so much of Red if you've watched Orange is the New Black. She was a heavy smoking, take-no-shit woman who kept me sane and also put me in my place when I needed it. We were attached at the hip in that place. An unlikely pair, as I'm a 20 something, quiet and reserved kind of person.

We later found out we had the same birthday. We had been roommates the whole time and not known. She was there with me when I found out I was pregnant. She was there with me through panic attacks. We cried together, prayed together, told each other everything and promised we would stay in touch when we got out.

I ended up getting discharged a week early due to my dad being in bad shape with his cancer. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my roommate, they rushed me out so quickly. I wrote down my phone number and left it on her bed along with the rest of the cash I had left. She tried to call and I missed it, but she left a voicemail saying she'd try again that evening. I waited and waited. Never heard anything else.

I got her phone number from another patient and tried to contact her to no avail. My heart is absolutely broken and I think about her every day, as well as the other patients I came to love. I fantasize about going back.

I've only texted her twice, but I'm considering calling her. Though it doesn't seem she wants me to contact her because she doesn't answer. It just sucks. She was supposed to be Mamaw to my child. We were supposed to be family. How do you get over heartbreak like that? She was truly the best friend I've ever had.

I'm tired. Hubby had the flu this week. It started Sunday with fever that lasted through Monday. On Sunday I told him to go to a walk in clinic. He did an online Dr. They told him to go take a flu test. I wound up driving him around to the clinic because he was "to sick to drive". However he was not to sick to watch the football game in his normal animatied fashion.

I do not want the flu so I have been sleeping in the bottom bunk in the kids room. Needless to say I hurt because apparently adulthood means that even thinking about sleeping differently and causes a riot. It isn't comfortable so sleep has been minimal. Also he's cranky because I'm ...distant... Um ya keep the germs to yourself.

He coaches basketball, I took over practice. I have run both kids to every activity, made sure homework was done, kept food on the table, taken a vehicle for maintenance, and worked 8-10 hours every day.

His fever broke MONDAY!!! Why does he get to lay around and recover for a week? He is literally acting like he's dieing. Ugh.

It has to be the hormones, right? I’ve noticed the last two pregnancies that even just a few days into the earliest weeks, he just is infuriating for me to be around! It’s got to be mostly hormonal because he’s a really good guy, but my patience for his lack of listening, crying when he gets upset (I really struggle with this as I am not a crier and don’t know what to do when he’s like this) and his constant forgetfulness must magically disappear during my high progesterone level infused anger that I experience due to every little thing. It makes me feel like a jerk. I’m trying so hard to be nice, I swear. Please tell me I’m not alone? Anecdotes appreciated.

(Not my first one either!!)

And I froze up like a little fawn. As soon as the tech brought me into the room and told me to take the little robe off and put it on the chair and stand there topless I just shut right off. I couldn’t relax, I couldn’t put my arms down or relax my shoulders, I couldn’t talk, I just stood there frozen while a stranger pushed and pulled my flesh into position while I practically floated outside my body. I just felt humiliated and embarrassed and my senses were all out of whack. She even asked me if I was able to complete the testing, and I said yes. And when she was done she said “happy birthday” because it’s my birthday in a few days.

I went back to the dressing room and bawled. Like sobbed. Couldn’t stop it. Cried the entire way home. Even as I write this I’m still crying. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’ve had mammograms before and they were as fine as mammograms can be but I did what I needed to do and was done. I couldn’t make my body work this time. I shut off.

I’m in the process of trying to go 50:50 care with my ex.

We tried for the past year to continue on as a family, but not a couple, but I’ve found, once again, that I am the only one putting any effort into our relationship/partnership/friendship, so I am done.

I am no longer willing to have anything but a coparenting relationship with him.

So, since he has a fortnightly standing D&D game, I asked him which weekend of the fortnight he wanted as his weekend. Then adjusted the calendar/my schedule around it.

But when I asked which weekend he wanted, I meant which one did he want to have the kids, he meant which one he got to himself….

So over co-parenting with someone who is so selfish. The kids seem to be nothing but a hindrance to his life. Like, he cares about them, but he’d just rather not have to do anything to provide care for them. I really think that if he could get away with just walking away and not being seen as a bad guy, he would.

Years ago, I had an unexpected pregnancy and miscarriage from a failed IUD (Mirena) that was an utter fiasco. Not sure if it was defective or if my gyno improperly inserted, but it led to horrible complications that weren’t handled properly. Since it was an early miscarriage, I mostly kept it to myself, but there’d be subtle comments about how maybe it was for the best because it probably would’ve been a difficult pregnancy anyway. Then I noticed patterns of negative treatment in regards to pregnancy/fertility of women 35+. Basically, people thinking you either can’t get pregnant at that age or if you miscarry or have complications it’s your own fault for having them at that age. Well here’s a shocker! Apparently, you can get pregnant naturally at 40 even when you were told otherwise. I’m expecting either to be told it’s a miracle or a nightmare at this age, but it’s way too early to tell anyone yet anyway. Posting here to get the real insight on pregnancy/motherhood at this stage instead of censored opinions and research. What were the most surprising, shocking or unexpected events and treatment during pregnancy and child birth? The things that no one talks about because it’s too controversial or has a stigma attached to the topic. Any input is appreciated!