My fiance and I work for the same company and found out we will both be furloughed with 90% of our company this week. I’ll be furloughed at the end of the week and my fiance in the next few weeks we think. Our wedding is in September and we are paying for it ourselves. Our budget is $40k with most of it allocated for—we ‘ve been planning for 8 months. We could technically pay for it today but I just dont know if thats the financially responsible thing to do. I’m looking for ways to cut back but its not the most extravagant event—most of the budget is for catering. I’ve already started looking for a new job and while I’m hopeful it could take a minute, I dont want to count on it. Plus as as a cancer survivor, I need good health insurance so Cobra will eat out of any unemployment I receive. I’m just sad and venting.

HI! Has anyone ever experienced getting the mesh sleeves dyed or altered to match their skin tone for their wedding dress.

I found a dress I love and the mesh is tinted brown but I was wondering if it’s a common thing for a seamstress to adjust this more to match my skin tone. And if so what was the estimated cost.

hi all! we have wanted an outdoor/mountain wedding since we even mentioned the word “marriage”, and with a portion of my partner’s family living out in colorado, we figured that would be perfect!

however, we’re not keeping our options strictly to colorado. i’ve reached out to venues in utah, wyoming, and washington as well.

so, i want to hear from all mountain and outdoor brides, weddings past or upcoming even; not limited to the western side of the country although those would be preferred, but we’re willing to go anywhere with a pretty view 😂

where did you get married? what did you like or dislike about it? did you have to travel for it and did that make it tough? and anything else you’d like to add! if you’ve made a post abt it, feel free to direct me that way instead of having to retype everything out haha

we’re hoping to keep everything within $20k-30k which i know can be tough so there is wiggle room if needed, and our guest count is somewhere from 25-50 but no more than that so it is for a smaller more intimate wedding. appreciate all the help in advance, and hope this post is okay! thank you! :)

One of my good friends offered to take our engagement photos! She’s not a professional photographer, but it is a hobby she has and is good at.

I feel weird not paying her at all. What’s an appropriate amount to spend on a gift to say thank you? I feel like gifting her cash or a gift card is weird, but not giving ANYTHING is strange too.

We’re having a very modest wedding celebration (courthouse and then dinner with about 35 people). We have a professional photographer for the courthouse part for $575.

We want to do bars from the city we live in instead of numbers but don’t know how to go about getting them customized. Been looking on etsy but I’ve never bought customized items before on it.

So I’ve never helped plan a wedding before.. my best friend of about 12 years now asked me to be her maid of honor/ best man idk what to call it I’m a guy. The wedding isn’t until June 2026 so there’s time but what should I do to prep?? Also I’m a hairdresser and she wants me to do everyone’s hair as well.. that’s all I know for now.. She just got engaged but this is gonna stress me out. My worst nightmare is helping someone plan a wedding… I know it’s a blessing she loves and trusts me enough for this but large party planning is not my forte. I’ve worked weddings as a stylist but I’ve never planned one so this is a lot for me. Is there anything I Should do without her asking me to? Or should I just go with whatever her direction is and not take lead on anything? I know I have time but I’m stressing now

When I was first began planning my wedding, I told some of my single bridesmaids they’re welcome to bring a plus one. However, now the wedding is 3 months away and one of them told me very recently they’re considering bringing someone that they met on an app and will be meeting soon.

So far everything seems to be going well but I’m not super comfortable with having someone I haven’t met/won’t have much time to know being essentially part of the wedding party. I didn’t think she was still considering bringing someone she hasn’t met yet still, I thought at this point being so close to the date that she’d bring a friend. I’m going to talk to her about it soon and I think she’ll understand but it’s still a conversation I’m nervous about having. Is this being unfair or have some of you have similar ‘policies’ for plus ones?

I am getting quotes for bridal hair and makeup and am currently looking at around $1k minimum for bridal hair and makeup. Is this normal (getting married northeast PA area)

Hi, having a tough time deciding whether real florals are worth it.

I have gotten quotes ranging from $10-15K for reception florals for a bridal table and 20 centrepieces. I had no idea florals are this expensive and I dont think I can fit this into my budget.

I am now looking at DIYing real-touch fake florals that I can slowly start styling over the next year before my wedding. Ideally I don’t want to get real flowers 1-2 days prior and stressing about DIYing with just myself and my fiancé (my family aren’t ones to help unfortunately).

My only reservation are people’s reactions when I have been telling them I was thinking of doing fake flowers for styling (although real floral bouquet for myself). I haven’t been getting many positive reactions to this.

Any advice if you think fake florals are tasteless? Am I overthinking it? Any other suggestions to style round tables?

FYI: Just to clarify I am not saying these prices are unjustified, florists deserve to receive a good compensation for all the manual labour, conceptualising and stock (plus profit) these prices were just unexpected and cannot fit in our current budget.

We invited 100+ guests; our turnout will be about 35 or less. It's a destination wedding, and I'm not close with my family due to growing up very far away from them (I grew up at the destination) so only 4 of my family members are coming including my parents. My brother can't even make it, and he lives there. I was mentally prepared for this. I'm cool with keeping it small, but my fiance mentioned possibly canceling the wedding and just eloping. He thinks it's all too much just to have a small party. I want to assure him a micro-wedding will still be a really fun time.

Also, at the very beginning stages of planning, we planned to have a micro-wedding on the beach at first, but we couldn't narrow the guest list enough (he has a lot of family and even if not everyone could make it, he wanted to invite everyone). So we got a big venue just in case people wanted to come, and we've been planning for a wedding as opposed to a micro-wedding. So, it's just like...well, if we would have known, we would have done things differently and spent less money. Oh, well.

It's 2025, is there any reason at all to do mail-in RSVP's? The only ones I've heard in its defense is that "older guests are bad at technology", couples who like the tradition & joy of receiving guest RSVP responses in their mailbox, or if you're not doing a website. Just curious!

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I’m wondering given the state of certain things (that i do not want to mention but after reading maybe you’ll get it ) going up in price if i should buy certain items i planned to get from Shein and Temu for my wedding. But the thing is my wedding is in May …of next year and I haven’t fully picked out the theme I don’t want to panic buy but I’m panicking due to the prices possibly going up on if I should just go for it and buy what I want and put it away. I put this under DIY bc most of what I want is decor and faux flowers

My dream wedding was always a small intimate destination wedding. As we started planning, we ran into the issue of my fiancés family is LARGE. He has 30 aunts and uncles. He also has 25 super close friends.

We tried cutting the list over and over again and he tried to tell me that it would be fine to select exactly which family members we wanted there. I thought it was rude to invite his aunt, uncle, cousin, but then not the other two cousins in the same family.

We ended up with a list of 105 people, but realistically only want 40-60. We only invited 5 of his best friends and haven’t told the other 20 that we didn’t have room for them yet and my fiancé is really bummed about that.

I can’t help, but feel regret that I didn’t listen to my fiancé about selecting each family member (However I do still find it rude). Obviously we can’t go back and uninvite people, and we love all of our family, but it’s starting to feel like we’re going to have a big traditional wedding and I’m starting to stress out about our guest list. Also none of his family members has said anything that made it seem like they wouldn’t come.

I need to vent to kind internet strangers because I’m about to lose my mind.

My wedding is 8 months out. We chose a beautiful mountain town in Colorado, where my fiance and I reside. Most of our family are in New England and our friends live all over the country and the world. I wanted a small intimate wedding on a Greek island with just immediate family, but my fiance really wanted something bigger so I compromised.

My fiance receives a text from his brother today asking what our “plan b” is for our wedding. He said the 30+ hour drive will be too hard on his mother and disabled sister. My fiance told him there is no “plan b” - this is where our wedding will be. We’ve already signed contracts with the venue, photographer, caterer, DJ. My friends and family from other countries already purchased their plane tickets to fly in.

Of course, we aren’t changing anything and I told him he can tell his brother they can fly and if they choose not to then we understand they won’t be able to be in attendance. His brother said “that’s f’ed up”.

I’m dumbfounded by the audacity to ask someone what their “plan b” is 8 months from the wedding.

I’m thinking about eloping and doing a post elopement party or even an engagement party (very casual paid cottage getaway). Although I know friends/family shouldn’t care as long as the couple is happy. How would you really feel attending one? Are you disappointed or feel ripped off for not getting to attend a wedding? Would you feel pressure to give a gift? I just wanna navigate this the best I can and I feel like I wouldn’t get honest answers from my family/friends. Any insight would be helpful!

Looking for ideas and advice from anyone who has done some sort of non-traditional wedding. I recently got engaged and while I always thought I would want to elope, I am feeling a little bit of FOMO about it. Some of the best weddings I’ve been to have been pretty non traditional- for example a big Halloween party in a VFW type hall as well as some great backyard weddings.

I do not like the vibe of traditional weddings at all and I think I would regret spending a bunch of money on one. I don’t like dancing, or speeches, or really the idea of all that attention being on me in some formal setting. I would love to just celebrate with friends and family without all the traditional wedding stuff.

I do want to get a dress and have hair and make up done. I also want to have some nice photos and be with friends/family. I am thinking about finding a venue to have a ceremony at and then maybe renting some sort of venue for an “after party”. No DJ or formal dinner but I want to celebrate (maybe like 100 people). I’d love to have a backyard wedding but my backyard would not work and honestly not sure of anyone else’s backyard I could use lol.

Has anyone pulled something like this off? Where did you start? What did it cost? And if you did something like this did you still end up doing a bridal shower, Bach party, etc.? I would love to do a shower and Bach party but not sure how that would be viewed if I’m not having a traditional wedding lol.

I am officially 12 days out from our wedding. While we have completed almost everything that needs to get done, I’ve been having a difficult time with family and friends pushing boundaries, just plain being rude, or generally having hardships. Things like:

• Groomsmen expressing his disinterest in wearing a suit, saying “If I wasn’t a groomsmen, I just wouldn’t come to the wedding at all, so that I wouldn’t have to wear a suit”.
• Brother asking us when to pick up his suit, even though he was the one that made the appointment and already picked a time with Men’s Warehouse to pick it up
• Told my mom we didn’t want a videographer and wanted an unplugged ceremony. Proceeds to call a day later with tons of (mostly inappropriate) ideas about how to get a video recording of the ceremony.
• Mom asks “when are we doing speeches” and I reply that we are not. Proceeds to explain that she asked my brothers to write speeches and she wrote one too and will plan on practicing just in case people decide to do speeches against our wishes on the day.
• Mom tells me she is purchasing bridal robes and gifts for all the bridesmaids, sending screenshots of cheap items that will be thrown away after the wedding. I already had a plan for gifts that specifically did not include this stuff, but she is insistent that she has to provide them as the mother of the bride.
• Uncle asks for last minute plus one. Couple might break up before the wedding. Grandfather is sick and might not come (we’re really sad about it).
• Mom denies plus one, then pushes to get it back after our numbers are submitted. We work with the venue to get her plus one added, and then her plus one decides he doesn’t even want to come.

Past brides, how did you deal with the stress of it all? For like 1 day, I was so happy to have everything done and we could relax, but with all of the drama popping up, it’s just so hard to enjoy this time😢

We’re having the hardest time finding a wedding venue, especially one that is in budget. Looking for about 185-200 people and our budget is $60K for the venue. Something coastal, modern, and in NJ, NY, CT, RI would be perfect. We loved Belle Mer and Newport Beach House in RI, but I don’t think it ends up being in our budget.

Hi! My best friend got engaged in August 2024 and is getting married middle of November 2025. I am the maid of honor!

I got engaged in December 2024 and we are looking at 10/31/2025.

I plan on discussing the date with her as I don't want it to feel too close to her big day and want her to feel as special as possible.

But in your opinion, is this too close? We have always wanted a fall wedding and my fiance wanted to get married on November but he is alright with 10/31. But she also got engaged first. I really don't want to wait until fall 2026 either.

Please let me know if I should feel bad or if this is okay! Thank you!

I’m thinking about hiring a takedown crew to clean up our decor at the end of the night. Is that something anyone else has done and can share what a good budget would be?

It’s a reception only (we’re eloping) with a potluck dinner for 80-ish people in October. Our venue will take care of the chairs, tables, and tablecloths but all trash needs to be bagged and anything we’ve brought in needs to be cleaned up as well. We’re not doing any traditional reception things (no speeches, no cake cutting, no first dance) so I do not feel the need for a day of coordinator. I just don’t want to have to pack up plates and candleholders at the end of the night 😊

I might talk to the venue about picking up totes the next morning but I still don’t want to have to be the one to put things away. Has anyone else done something like this? What did it cost?

Hello! Odd question…I’m trying to find a slow, acoustic or instrumental version of Motley Crue’s song Kickstart My Heart to walk down the aisle to. It may sound ridiculous (it kind of is) but the song has played a big part in my relationship with my fiance and I think it would be such a neat, personal touch to our ceremony. Does anyone know of a version that fits this setting? I searched Spotify and found very little. Most were either too fast or lullaby sounding.

TIA!

Basically here is a list of things that went wrong at my wedding last month that you can learn from. Some of these things still break my heart, but I'm slowly getting over them and appreciating all of the great parts of the day (like marrying my amazing husband of course!). For the record, I have only expressed gratitude towards my vendors and did not complain about anything that went wrong. They did the best they could, and sometimes things just happen! Here goes, starting with the one that makes me the saddest:

1) Walking down the aisle song: I looked forward to this moment for the whole year of planning, and picked a song very special to me and my husband. The start of the song is very romantic and dramatic, and I envisioned the doors opening during that part and then walking down the aisle as the singing began. Every time I envisioned this moment in the year leading up to my wedding, I would cry. From the little information I have, here is why it went wrong. The chapel I got married in was connected to a mansion by a short walkway. To keep me out of the cold (I assume) my coordinator had me wait in the mansion until it was my time to go. She must have signaled me too late, because by the time I got to the chapel door to walk down the aisle, to my horror, it was already halfway through the song. I guess the officiant had told everyone to stand immediately after the ring bearer finished walking down, so the DJ started the song, except I wasn't standing at the chapel door ready to go at this time. My mom tells me they 'thought I was a runaway bride'; even though she was joking, I find it very embarrassing even still. It has been hard for me to accept that this moment was ruined, and I can't watch the video of me walking down the aisle without feeling disappointment. I will say I tried to enjoy the moment by just looking at my husband and getting excited to marry him. All that to say, brides: if you have a special point in the song you want to walk down to, TELL EVERYONE THIS. And make sure the communication between the officiant, DJ, and coordinator is 1000% CLEAR on when to start your song. I don't want this moment getting ruined for any other bride reading this!

2) Bridal portraits, or lack thereof: Despite it being on the schedule, everyone (including myself) forgot about bridal portraits. My husband got his portraits, which I am grateful for, but it does make me very sad sometimes that I don't have any of me. There are a few photos that I was able to photoshop people out to get solo pictures, but it's not really the same. If this is something really important to you, don't just trust if its on the schedule it will get done. My coordinator, photographer, and videographer ALL had the schedule, and no one remembered to have me do bridal portraits. Assign someone close to you, like a wedding party member or family member, to double check that both the bride and the groom get solo portraits!

3) Decor details: This is the not a huge deal compared to my first two, but if there is any decor detail you are very picky about, double check it on the day of to ensure it is to your liking, or do it yourself (I wish I had!). I'm very picky with decor, and had a specific vision that I entrusted to various people to carry out. Everyone said "trust me, I will do it perfectly" when I expressed a hesitation to let go of control on decorating. Let me just say, I trusted them, and now I have trust issues (not really, but kinda!). While I am very very grateful for their help, certain parts of my vision did not carry through, even though I gave clear pictures (I made a 'decor guide' with decor items listed, pictures, instructions, etc.). The worst one was my seating chart mirror, in which the table lists for the seating chart were placed so high up they were almost touching the "At Every Table, I'll Save You a Seat" decal. It looked very off, very thrown together, and was just one example of a few disappointing aspects. For the record, I did not complain to the coordinator about any of this-- she was GREAT at her job, I am just very picky!

All in all, I LOVED my wedding and above all love being married to my husband. But I have had to seriously mourn these wedding regrets and it makes me feel better to know I might save another bride/groom from dealing with similar disappointments!

Hello,
I wanted to share my recent experience with a group of us guys going to Panama City, Panama for a bachelor party. It was 10/10 and very affordable. This destination was based on the idea of a big-game fishing trip. The trip took place in January and the weather there was mid-high 80s! I invited 10 guys, 9 of them came and everyone was excited about it. The primary language spoken there is Spanish but many people also speak english. We all went comfortable at all times of the day and night walking around. Everyone had an amazing time and we would ALL recommend this destination for a bachelor trip. Another thing we enjoyed was ending our nights at a casino! Gambling money was not included in totals. Total cost all in came to about $1200.

Here is a breakdowns of our costs PER PERSON for a 4 night, 5 day trip. Nothing we did felt cheap whatsoever.

Flights around the country to Panama City: ~$400 each

9 bed airbnb: $140pp total

10hr Fishing charter: $250 including tip

6 hr Catamaran open bar cruise: $110 including tip.

Spending while we were all there. We created a Venmo group and split everything equally: $205pp.

This included 3 dinners, 1 breakfast, 1 lunch out + groceries for the whole trip which included 2 breakfasts and 1 dinner supplies, bar tabs at 4 locations, tickets to the Panama canal visitor center and (2) UberXLs everywhere we went!

Looking for florist recommendations for Charleston. $7000 budget ideally!

I am getting married in May 2025 and thinking of doing a lolly bar. Since my fiancé and I decided that cake isn’t really something want and that maybe guest would enjoy a lolly/candy bar instead. Thoughts?

My original plan is to have adults only at my wedding with the exception to kids in the wedding party and immediate family which is like 4 kids total. I have a lot of relatives in San Diego that would essentially be driving to LA for the wedding but I only invited the adults. One of my cousins asked if the kids were invited, for context there's a total of 13 kids that are from the relatives in SD. These kids are over the age of 11 and would be charged an adult meal.

My question is would you invite the kids ?

The issue is that because I'm inviting all the adults, ultimately they would have to either not attend because no one can watch the kids, hire a babysitter, , or have the eldest kids watch the others which I'm sure they're hesitant to do.

Based on invites alone and who I can assume won't be attending, I'm already over my initial headcount. I don't necessarily want to invite the kids because that would be an additional $1,500 on meals. But I also feel bad if I don't invite them because it would mean my cousins might not come.

Hi! I’m sending out RSVPs and asking guests for menu preferences.

We have 3 menu options that guests can pick from: Menu 1: app 1 + soup 1 + main 1

Menu 2: app 2 + soup 2 + main 2

Menu 3: app 3 + soup 3 + main 3

My question is whether I should list out the entirety of the menu options or just ask guests for their preference of main? I’m also offering a fourth option of “please contact me to confirm which menu will work for my dietary restriction.”

Most RSVP forms I’ve filled in the past have not listed app / starters, but I’ve also never been to a wedding where app / starters are different depending on which main you pick.

We are getting married on July 31, 2026 in southwest Ohio (HOT). We have pretty much decided that we want to do barbecue for dinner, but I was wondering what other options would be a good fit for dinner at a wedding smack dab in the middle of summer??

My wedding is in May and alterations says they will start in March once I have my first fitting…..I feel like two months is too close to the wedding….they have to line the whole bodice because I don’t like the see through-ness of the dress and fix the straps and take it in a bit !

*nothing has changed with my body in the last 3 years…my style or decision hasn’t changed either!

My amazing future husband, a/k/a love of my life, and the kindest human on earth, and I live in New England—he’s American, and I’m from South America.

He really wants our wedding to be in my home country for several reasons:
1️⃣ We’ll get more value for our budget.
2️⃣ It’s likely the only opportunity to have both of our families together.
3️⃣ His perspective: Since his family has easy access to our lives and will be part of all our future milestones, it’s only fair that this milestone happens with my family—especially since many of them (including my father) legally cannot come to the U.S.

The challenge? His immediate family is not on board. They’ve been dismissive, saying that no one from their side will come, that it’s too expensive for cousins, etc. My fiancé only truly cares about his parents, sister, aunts, uncles, and cousins being there.

To make it as easy as possible, we plan to cover stays, meals, and activities from arrival to drop-off at the hotel. The only cost for them would be airfare and personal spending. We’re also being strategic about the date—avoiding holidays and peak travel times to keep flights reasonable.

The Plan (if people actually come):

🌊 A multi-day beach wedding experience with a welcome reception, day activities, and maybe even a boat ride—more than just a single night celebration.

The Backup Plan (if they don’t):

🏡 A much smaller, simpler wedding in my hometown—saving us a lot of money, which we’d rather put toward our home (honestly, I’d rather elope and do just that, but here we are).

The Dilemma:

We don’t want to invest in a multi-day event only to have people back out last minute. From experience, many people say, “We’ll be there!”—but when it’s time to book flights, they disappear.

So how do we genuinely gauge who’s in?

• Would a Google survey be a good idea?
• How can we ask, tactfully, who would want us to cover their stay? Some family members can afford it, others might need help, but we don’t want to make it awkward.
• For those with kids, do you think they’d be likely to come?

We recognize that life happens, and plans can change. But assuming nothing major shifts (job loss, pregnancy, WWIII 🤞), we want a realistic idea of who’s actually committed before making major decisions.

We don’t want to call this a destination wedding because it’s more of a necessity than a choice we’re making for convenience or cost-cutting. I know destination weddings often have the perception that the couple is trying to save money, but that’s not our goal. That said, for the sake of simplicity, let’s call it a destination wedding.

How would you approach this? Any advice on making this conversation smooth and productive?