Okay this has to do with my (m50) stepdaughter (f24), my wife's(f53) biological daughter. We've been going through this for almost 3 years now, we knew she was smoking pot for probably 10 years or so now , which in itself is bad enough because she is an EXTREMELY bad asthmatic . When she turned 21 a few years ago she had smoked some pot laced with something and had to be rushed to ER and put on a ventilator for 3 days, they told her then that she had the lungs of a 70 year old woman . She still continued to do pot but then sometime around 3ish years ago she started doing harder stuff that we came to find out was fentanyl . She has OD'd at least 5 times that we know of , has not had a job in over 3 years , refuses to get help or even talk about going to a rehab . We've been lied to , stolen from among other things . Everyone we talk to either former addicts or counselors all tell us the same thing she has to hit rock bottom which is the other part . We cut off money awhile back and she only messages when she wants something. We take her food for her but as far as buying clothes and stuff we stopped because phones kept being "stolen" then have someone call and ask us why we turned the phone off . She had a snap card but traded it for who knows what so we had it cut off . We have cut off everything that we know to do . One of my wife's friends however knows her and no matter what we tell the "friend" she still takes her stuff whether it be food, clothes, inhalers , whatever after we told her what everyone has told us still does this . The daughter ONLY will message the friend if she wants something and that's it . We keep telling her she's enabling her but she refuses to listen . I'm at my wits end with the situation and my wife is a emotional wreck . The same friend goes out of her way to bring up the stepdaughter if I'm not around to my wife and tell her how bad she looks or this or that. Even going as far as to say I got stuff for her , food clothes whatever and ask us to pay her back. I'm ready to blow my top off and tell her to butt out completely , am I wrong ?

If you were sitting in a waiting room at an addiction treatment center, what types of literature about recovery would interest you? I know this is a totally unreasonable question because most people would be like screw reading a pamphlet - I have a smart phone to scroll. But if you were actually looking at the flyers and one page info/handouts, would anything strike your fancy and you'd be like "hey this is kind of useful".

For some reason it always pops in my head to wonder if a celebrity that I’m reading about or see on social media is on drugs. I think about how much money they have and how their doctors will prescribe them anything. It’s like my brain can’t accept that there are people in this world who have never used drugs. I hope that makes sense.

Fed up

Just started a discord server for everyone struggling or recovering from a gambling addiction. Trying to create other supportive communities outside of Reddit to help others get the support they need. Please join if this seems interesting to you: https://discord.gg/aHZj9zpE

I’m (25M) a 10-year coke and alcohol addict, among other substances. Finally seeing the light and getting out of it, only now I have no idea what to do. My only hobby/pastime for the past decade of my life (formative years imo) has been drugs/alcohol. I’ve tried various artistic hobbies, been getting into the gym and overall taking better care of myself. However I’m off on disability for another couple months and having a hard time filling the days, which can very easily lead to relapse.

TL;DR how does a mid-20s man discover and stick to a new hobby? Nothing seems to stick

so for some context i am 18 years old, live with my parents and i am a male. everything just seems to be going downhill recently.

I can’t find a job after getting fired from my last one a few months back due to being sent to rehab and despite applying to 15-20 places, nobody will hire me and it’s not like i have a bad resume or anything like that. additionally my grades have been super shit and i barley passed all my classes last quarter and the work just seems to keep on piling and i can’t keep up with it or find the motivation to even give a shit. also, due to a bad trip on my 18th birthday in march i went into psychosis and ended up attacking my mom, dad and the paramedics and it seems my parents will not look at me the same after this which really hurts and they won’t trust me for shit.

due too all these things mentioned above my substance use had increased. because i am too broke to buy my drug of choice (xanax) i have been stealing lots of dxm and mixing it with alcohol that i also have been stealing from my parents. this shit just completely knocks me out of reality and it feels like it’s the only thing that’s keeping me going. well that and the 15mg adderall xr that i recently got prescribed for adhd and have been abusing since day 1. the adderall makes me feel like i’m on top of the word and narrows the many voices in my head down to just one it also makes me way more socialable and overall just more happy. however, when i crash off this shit i get severe anger and irritability which is the only downside. also i have occasionally been mixing the adderall with the alcohol and the dxm which i know is a horrible idea but i try to take lower doses of everything when i do that. when i mix these it puts me into a weird zone where like im dissociating but hyper focused at the same time and music just sounds so heavenly. i can’t get enough of it.

also I recently got a new girlfriend and the relationship has been going pretty well but im seriously worried something is gonna happen soon and we are going to break up because she has an avoidant attachment style and i have an anxious attachment style. if i loose her it’s really gonna send me off the deep end further than i already am. idk guys overall i just feel like my depression has came back and the only time i don’t feel depressed is when im high and i just feel like i am overall cooked rn like i rly don’t have plans for after high school like i think i might go to community college but idk if i could even handle it. so, sorry for the long post thank u if u have read to this point and please let me know any thoughts or advice i would really appreciate that.

I’ve been sober off opioids and benzodiazepines since January I’m struggling really bad with my mental health doctor has me on pregabalin 100mg a day I suffer with bpd and anxiety and ptsd everyday I get these like trauma flashbacks and it fucks my whole day up taking opioids and benzos are the only time I felt free and safe from my own mind I miss them loads and have tried to go the right way about this and asked my doctor for medication review and i was told he doesn’t want to numb me and wants me to be able to think that’s the problem I think too much and it’s torture for me i have many links to be able to get what I want but the thing is a small portions of me doesn’t want to go back to these things but man I’m worn out there no peace I feel like an imposter in my own body I just wish someone could understand this feeling of wanting to go back to using but being so scared too also I got myself clean off everything with no help I don’t have a sponsor or anything

I’m not sure where to put this. I’m not sure how much longer I can make it. I need counseling/treatment. I am using and I have a huge habit, I am afraid because I use alone I’m not running around I don’t commit crimes, I use very low key. I’m so tired. Ian worth saving. I have quit twice before. The physical part I can do in a detox setting. The emotional part I need help. Not being able to cope is what makes me slip. I want to get another chance I just need help, I cannot financially pay for proper treatment. I’m 50 years old. I’m a mom of three grown kids I love my husband and boys so very much. I hear about people asking for financial help and getting help. I have lost four family members in the last ten years I didn’t start doing drugs until I was in my 40’s. I did not expose my family to anything I’m begging I’m pleading with anyone that could help me financially get into a good treatment program for depression and addiction. I need help. I want to live!

Tossing over looking into some form of an amphetamine prescription. I'm a recovering coke addict and have realized a lot of my substance use was replacing a lack of natural energy generation (poor diet, no exercise, not sober yet, etc)

I'm not personally a stickler for full abstinence, but at the same time, it does kind of feel like substituting one demon for another. I don't think I would abuse a prescription like that (I've tried amph and it's def not coke), but it's still Adderall, it's still potentially dangerous for my recovery.

Thoughts?

My cousin (38M) is in need and willing to attend rehab. He is an alcoholic with history of heavy drug use for the past twenty years. There’s definitely mental health issues that need to be addressed

For what it’s worth, he’s gay and conservative. I only bring that up because he was previously at a place where he felt he wasn’t accepted because of the fact he was gay and likes to hunt. Any help, guidance, recommendations and kind words welcome. He lives in Denver and has Medicaid insurance. Thanks all!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueXVRod6HKQ&t=11s

Things were going well, he was putting the work in and I could really start to see the change happening. He’d call me everyday as I told him to, we’d go through the big book or his step work or just talk about things going on.

It was obviously helping him with his recovery but it was REALLY helping me with mine. It was my first time sponsoring and I was really getting a lot from it, strengthening my own sobriety.

But then he went quiet, didn’t contact me, stopped seeing him at meetings and ignored my calls. This was a few months ago now and I’ve spoken it through with my sponsor and I know it’s his will not mine and I’ll be here if/when he comes back into the program. But since then I’ve just found myself feeling a little flat, sponsoring helped me not focus on myself and I felt more connected.

Any advice or wisdom?

Hi all. My wife started drinking after 5 years sober when her mom died, 3 years ago. I quit drinking with her. I've stayed sober. I've been a provider for my family (just her and our 2 young children) looking back, I'm guilty of setting too high of expectations for her. I worked , she did housework and took care of the kids. Simple right? No. I always got upset when I'd come home to a trashed house, and held my love hostage. Said mean things ect. I'm facing and dealing with my issues now. Just admitting my guilt. Anyway, her drinking started getting really severe 2 years ago, and that added more anger to me. I was struggling to maintain my sobriety dealing with her drunken episodes. I talked to her every other day about options to quit drinking, ect. I tried everything. I yelled, I asked, I pleaded, I tried making deals ect. Fast forward to buying a breathalyzer. (She was really bad. Wanted to show her she was a functional alcoholic) she was blowing .3 on a daily. Worst part was I work out of town, and again, she's home with my kids. I'd get furious. She finally asked for help. I jumped on it, took her to the ER set up the detox, made reservations for a 30 day residential program, got help from family to help me with my kids ect. With my job it's very difficult having my kids. I work on call 24-5 so anyway, I was picking up on coldness on the phone from her 2 weeks in, not caring to talk to me, only the kids, not saying I love you ect. Family day came, 3 weeks. No touching. Her rule. No hug, no hand holding, no nothing. I felt she was on her way out. I'm dieing inside. Now ff ahead to 4 days ago. She got out. Same rules, but not staying with me, filed for separation. She said, they said I'm her trigger. I'm blown away, heart broken you name it. But in the last 4 days, I've got a therapist, read 5 love languages and been taking a hard look at myself and realized so many things I can change but she dosnt want to hear it. All I know is she said separation is 100%  , she wants to see other people (Noone is in the picture she says but this BREAKS ME INSIDE) and Divorce is most likely in the future. But not positive,  just most likely. Glimmer if hope right? Well I'm an absolute wreck, I can't stop attacking myself, trying to figure out what I can do, and what I can't, (and I'm confident after 5 LL book I can drastically improve) to a point I'm actually a good man and lover. My question finally is, WTF happened to her in there? I'm desperate, devastated, and devoted to winning her back. I love her with all my heart, but don't know how ill feel seeing her "try other options" while she continues to "work on herself" main takeaway is she's not "done done" but won't say never coming back or the opposite, I might come back. All I get from her is "I don't know what I want, and I can't make any promises. I'm living day by day" WHAT SHOULD I DO, to help her? Give her space? Try to show her things still from the book? Let her still know I care about her everyday? 

Would you consider it an "emotional relapse?" Even if you didn't drink or use drugs.

I've been self harming and binge eating a lot more since I quit drugs and alcohol, to the point where I am wondering if drugs are a better alternative?

My best friend finally admitted she has a problem with ketamine and wants to get help. I don’t know anything about rehabs but I’ve been searching everywhere on google snd none of them detox for ketamine. How do we find a place that can help her where do we even start?

My recovery date is on April 10 and every year for the past decade or so it will come and go and I'll remember it a few days later. It just dawned me that I had my recovery date again a couple days ago.

I've been clean and sober so long its my natural state and it almost feels like that person was someone else.

It only takes a few minutes of reflecting to remember those feelings and emotions from the early days though.

keep coming at it everyone! Good Luck!

Hi all, This is my first time posting to this sub, and I'm grateful to have found it. I'm a recovering alcoholic with close to 5 years of sobriety, thanks to God, my higher power. I went through the rooms of AA, even went to treatment 3 times and still kept going back to the bottle. It was the darkest period of my life, and I was sure I would eventually succumb to my addiction, whether it was the substance itself or my multiple attempts at unaliving.

I've had a desire to share my story as a source of hope, I'm just not sure where the best place to post it would be. I, and everyone close to me, had nearly given up hope and any chance of recovery, and yet here I am. If there is anyone reading this who feels they are in a similar position, or that there is no hope, please do not give in to these trains of thought. You will survive this nightmare, and I am happy to share what helped me along my journey and even just to talk. My heart goes out to anyone actively experiencing this, family members watching their loved ones suffer, and all those who have found the light once more. I am looking forward to being an active member here, and doing whatever I can to spread the hope that got me through.

Many blessing and much love to you all.

I've been playing call of duty a lot lately since I was a kid really. Now I'm a 32-year-old adult male and I'm in recovery from drugs and alcohol and I like to game from time to time and it's very upsetting to see weed all over the place in call of duty it's really triggering and not good for people in recovery. what are your thoughts guys?

Knee and other pains

Hey 20 M here.

I have grown up playing soccer my entire life, for the most part. I hadn’t really dealt with injury but recently it’s been not great.

I took 2 years off, during my senior year I pulled my hamstring and played on it which stupid as you may say, before that I had played a year overseas when I was 15 and when I came back I fell out of love with the game and Covid made my feel very disinterested in playing again. Anyway after my senior year I didn’t know where I wanted to or what I wanted to do for college so I did community college. I’m now going to a D3 school and I will be playing soccer, along with playing semi professional this summer.(sorry for the long explanation but I feel it’s relevant even if nobody reads this)

Here’s the issue, when I was 15 I did both my hip flexors, recovery was like a week or so. They still bother me to this day a little bit. The biggest issue for me is my knees, I worked at UPS for a summer (hated it) and ever since when I exercise my knees have some pain with them. I don’t know if it’s just cause of rust, but I really don’t want to play around and fuck up my knee especially before college. I don’t know if Ice and heat are the only things I should do and I would really appreciate if some of you could hit me with some ideas, explanations, and so forth of how I should treat recovery of my knees and muscles. I have been working out daily for just a little over 2 weeks consistently if that helps.

This has always been a debate I’ve had with people and would just like to see people thoughts on this but for me a relapse is going back to that old life style of active addiction, not using your DOC onece or twice in my mind that’s just a lapse.

However I see people beat them selves up so much because they popped a pill or had a Sri k and to me that’s just gunna cause a negative headspace in which it will be easier for your brain to just decide to “fuck it”

So I’d like to push for people to remind anyone who may have lapsed that as long as they have recognised that using was a bad choice and make changes to make sure it doesn’t happen again. As this builds a more positive mindset towards recovery as a whole

Also the term Abstinence has always bugged me ! It’s such a a subjective concept. For example say you have an alcoholic who is 30 years without as drink but he gets into an accident and needs pain meds or better still maybe they just like to have a smoke of weed every now and thenn. Now to some people they wouldn’t be abstinence but to me that’s so warped as your suggesting that someone has fucked up due to something which has no correlation to the addiction I. Question

hey everyone!

I am in recovery and I am also a college student — two things that don't exactly mix well. So much of the social scene here revolves around drinking and using and because I am sober, I feel like I am really isolated and people think I'm weird.

I am doing some research to see if other students/people in recovery have experienced this and how you navigate it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Please forgive the rant I need this. 100 days sober today. I need advice no sponsor.

They are housing around 20+ people in a 4 br house. They've moved me 4 times in the last week I cannot get comfortable. They've taken my blankets this morning because they are not standard issue. They took my gf mirror for make up in morning. Her dresser. Moved her 3 timed and she has a lot of shit. When I say everyone's anxiety is through the roof. It's headed to the space station.

I have the ability to remain level headed but everyone around me CANNOT and I have been trying to get my shit straight and have a safe space to do my step 5 but it's utter chaos when I get home for the last week.

People are constantly fighting and thinking of leaving. This is full of people with 60 days plus sober so we're all really trying buy they are making it so difficult in the name of bringing in more clients.

No one has a full therapy session. Today I started to cry in my session for my therapist to cut me short saying "I have 15 people to see this week hun I need to get yall in and out"

Bullet points for context:

• Long-term, family friend and housemate
• Recovering from removal of portion of bowels due to diverticulitis
• 3 weeks post surgery, smoking and drinking habits starting back up (nicotine is directly tied to colon problems)

As his friend and someone I know he deeply respects, how can I bring up my concerns of his behavior without coming across like a nagging mom or girlfriend? (We are not a couple, btw)

My home is large enough that he has his own suite and lives separately from myself and my teenager. However, as a parent, I have concerns about how my teen will observe/interpret/take in these sort of actions.

Independent of that, I don't feel comfortable having someone in my home who engages in this kind of behavior.

I understand surgery is difficult. I am a very patient and understanding human. I want to convey my concerns with love and also express how this isn't acceptable in my home.

Please share any insight.

Thank you.

I am 4 months clean from meth. I had been on it since 2019, in and out of jail. Ruined my entire life. Lost my job, lost my kids, almost lost my soulmate. But today I am happy to say I am sober. Working toward getting my kids back. I have a new job. And me and my partner are both adulting again in our new sober journey. But I still want to get high. I think about it every single fucking day. When does this stop?? I have cut off anybody from my life that does meth, im happy to be out of that life. And I just want my kids back more then anything in this world. Why do I still "miss" getting high? I don't understand why the cravings don't just go away by now.

How do deal with depression in recovery? I’m currently 7 months sober and depression can be crushing at times.

I quit smoking crack on March 10th of this year. I wasn't really addicted more like a small dependency. I continue to have cravings and i daydream about just doing it one more time almost daily for hours on end. I'm starting to feel suicidal again because without it the world looks so boring and i now have to cope with all my issues sober.

I was introduced to the drug by a homeless guy after i had ran away. I had a really bad day and before the encounter i called my mom and she told me she hopes i get raped and killed so that just made it worst. I followed him blinded by anger and i was expecting pot but he gave me two new drugs i have never done before, meth and crack. Dunno why crack is the one that stuck with me when i've heard meth is stronger. When the high hit i barely realized it until he let me leave. That's when i noticed how awesome the world was and how awesome that feeling was. I was yelling and running around for hours because of how much i did. When the feeling was gone i was hungry, figuratively and physically.

When i was brought home and my adventure was over I continued to smoke it especially if i had a bad day. I liked it, gave me a reason to live I stopped being suicidal because i didn't even realize i could feel this good, i never knew that was possible to feel that good. twice a weeks slowly turned into 5 times a week.

I only smoked it for like 2 months until my family found out. During the argument my uncle pulled out his gun and threated to put a bullet through my head if i was caught doing it again. Seeing the scared faces of my little siblings is what really pushed me to quit. So i smoked the last of what i had that night and i stepped on the pipe i used.

​

I knew the first few weeks would be kinda tough, but gosh a whole month now and i'm still craving it? I liked myself better when on crack tbh. Im mostly this shy timid kid, but crack gave me the confidence to be my authentic self (kinda) I was myself but just like a more extreme version. I've noticed that I'm slowly becoming suicidal again, but the future and my siblings keep me going. I would hate for them to see their older sister as a good for nothing junkie on the streets. I wanna get better for the sake of them especially the second oldest. My mother isn't the nicest person, is the best way i can put it without disrespecting her, and i just would hate for my sister to have to deal with her on her own. So i plan to push through the cravings and thoughts even if i know i'll still feel terrible in the future. I just have to be there for all 4 of them.

At the same time i wanna feel good while making a good decision so any tips on drug cravings or anything of that matter?

​

Seriously. I can delete every number or email but I’ll still know how to get to it.

I need help

A combination of depression, shame, guilt, zoloft, and weed have completely destroyed my appetite. I used to eat the average amount of food for my age, but now I struggle to even have one. I make it through the day by snacking, but sitting down at a table and eating a whole meal is just nauseating. Today for lunch I had half a slice of pizza. That is all I’ve had meal wise today and it’s 10pm. I’m hungry but don’t want to get up to eat because I know I’ll only be able to stomach a few bites. But I also eat at a slow pace and feel badly for it. I’ve noticed I’ve lost so much weight in the last few months over time. I’m like 95 pounds at 20 years old. How do I get back to eating 3 meals a day? My ideal weight would be about 115-120lbs. I am 5’3 and Female. I’ve struggled with depression for many years, and found the more sad I feel…the less I want to take care of myself. Not eating is almost my way of harming myself. My body is so weak, I hate how I look. I have no energy. I need advice to help get out of this hole:( Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly.