I been reflecting a lot on my life, and I was terrified by how so many decisions in childhood basically decided the opportunities I have now and it basically closed so many doors. Like I didn’t choose to get into youth leagues when I was a kid, and that lead me not being able to pursue sports in middle or high school. That prevented me from getting into the service academies or joining the military as an officer.

Another moment was not taking academics seriously. By the time you get to high school, you are so far behind that it’s impossible to catch up.

It is scary how ignorant we are as our kids, but our decisions then shape our future

For context, I graduated in 2021. So it's crazy to think it's already been 3.5 years, almost 4.

I'm having a really, really hard time with it. Not because I want to go back and get fucked up all the time and go crazy again - by the time I graduated I was pretty tapped out - but just because it was so easy to meet people, I got to live with some of my closest friends, and there was always something going on. Adult life is so fucking boring by comparison, man

How do you guys deal with it? 'Cause I really don't want to be that guy that talks about college all the time but I'm totally teetering on the edge of that lmao

I left this sub a while back since I sorta moved on and I just came back out of curiosity... Dang folks, y'all could use a sunny day or two.

i'm ashamed to admit it. i majored in statistics and am looking for jobs around data science and analytics. i know the job market is bad but it seems like other recent grads aren't doing this badly? i have internship experience and have had my resume reviewed. luckily, my call-back rate has been higher lately (i have a second-round interview next week 🙏) but i still feel really disillusioned -- like i'm putting in all this effort to get a corporate job that isn't even going to be fulfilling for me. but i don't see any other paths. i want to go to grad school but i really can't afford it, and plus it's not clear that that would even help my job prospects significantly.

i've been receiving some guidance and career advice from parents and family friends, which is helpful even just to keep me sane. one thing they all talk about is networking, but that's still nebulous to me. honestly i thought i was networking by having those conversations. how does one network in a way that actually results in job prospects?

this post was an opportunity to vent but i am also very open to advice and what worked for you all. feeling very lost!

Graduated in May with a bachelors in computer science and got a really good job as a data developer in my hometown. It has great pay, benefits, hours and I generally like the people I work with. I guess I’m just not too fond of the work itself. It feels kinda monotonous and repetitive. I know I wanna do more UI programming but there’s not really room to do that at my company. I don’t wanna quit since I don’t have any other sources of revenue.

Here’s the thing, my job allows me to pursue my hobbies that can be fulfilling. But when I’m doing them all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to finish them tomorrow/on Monday etc.

I guess up until this point I’ve always had a goal in life (graduate and get my degree.) Now that I have that and a good job I can’t help but wonder what’s next. Work until I’m 60 then retire? I don’t want this to be the next 40 years of my life. I just feel aimless and lost right now. Maybe it’s just because I don’t like the work I do day to day

I have no idea what to do what my life. I graduated during Covid which severely derailed my job prospects. I got an internship during that time and then was told they weren't taking internships. I then graduated with a master's degree without an internship. After that I was looking to do a PhD for purposes of getting into research in my field, but I had to move states with my then husband. I didn't end up doing my PhD as my husband was abusive and I didn't want to be stuck in that state where he was my only support. Now I am back in my home state with family. I've applied for many positions (especially state positions as I've been told I'm more than qualified for many of them).

I've tried getting an evaluation from the education board to see what I need in order to get my certifications to use my healthcare degree but the state is so slow in getting back about anything. I contacted colleges about joining to finish my certifications and one is willing to help but it depends on if the education board gets back to to me. I have work experience unrelated to my field and per diem experience so I don't have any gaps in my resume, but neither of those would be able to provide references as I was not supervised under either position. My alma mater also closed down so I can't go there for help. I have a disability as well which means I can't really do manual work. I just feel so stuck and don't really know what my opinions are.

Advice would be appreciated. If you'd like specifics on my degree to provide any advice or suggestions on what I should look into I'd be willing to do so in DMs.

I hate the adult life. Dealing with people at work drains me too much. I’ve had the worst experience with my first corporate job and I was fired. Now I don’t know what to do but my family is broke and I know I have to work at some point. Idk how to find my courage

this is gonna be pretty long because i’m kind of in a dilemma.

i’m currently a junior at university and i overall just feel like i had higher expectations for it. i’m not enjoying my time as much as i anticipated when i graduated high school. during high school, i didn’t like my time there that much either as i felt lonely and isolated sometimes, and wanted to go far away for college. i did just that but in college, i feel the same way as i did in high school. i haven’t really made any meaningful connections here. i don’t have a significant other, or a close tight knit group of friends. i have people i can hang out with and talk to and stuff but i don’t have like,,, a core friend group and all of my relationships here feel surface level. i’m such a floater friend, just like i was in high school. and also a lot of these friends have kind of done me dirty and were lowkey not good friends to me, but i can’t do anything bc i feel like they’re all i have. i feel like a loner, even tho i know i’m not lonely, but also, i don’t really see any of these bonds lasting after graduation. it just always feels like everyone else has other people, and i’m kind of an afterthought friend who people will try to make plans with once every few months. i spend 99% of my time alone, and it feels so lonely. i’ve joined clubs, tried initiating things with people in my classes, but it’s so draining and my energy is never matched so i’m kind of just counting down the days til i graduate. however, at the same time, i’m nervous that even tho i want to leave right now, i’m gonna look back at these years and miss them. (i’m a very nostalgic person). i did the same in high school- i wanted to get out so bad but now i look back and miss those years- even tho i enjoy college much better than high school.

i feel like i just placed these expectations of me in college having an S/O and a nice tight knit group of friends in college and not having that makes me really upset. maybe at the same time, everything is just all in my head. i don’t know. i just wonder, did anyone also feel this way in college, and has post grad been better for y’all? i’m so scared my social life is gonna be even worse after college because you’re not constantly seeing people and you have to go even more out of your way to make friends and meet people. is it even possible to meet an S/O after college??? everyone says it’s so much harder. i just don’t know and i’m kind of anxious about the future. i really don’t like where i am at life right now but i feel like i’m gonna look back in a few years and miss these years, so i also want to make the most of it without my negative mindset impacting me. i really don’t know, i’d appreciate any insight. i’m really betting on post grad life being much better.

TLDR: i’m a college student, i had expectations and i didn’t meet them, lowkey hate college, is life better after post grad?

I recently graduated from a public university in california back in June and I oddly miss being in school. I recently moved back home in the Bay Area with my parents and absolutely dislike it. I feel pretty lonely because most of my friends are in socal while im in the Bay Area. I dont really talk to my friends from high school or a lot of them have moved out of our hometown. I'm currently working retail part time while spending my weekdays looking for a full time corporate job/interviewing.

But socially, this feels very similar to my time in community college. Very lonely, just going to work and then going home. Parents aren't much help because they still treat me like a child and they're pretty controlling/over protective (if you have asian parents iykyk).

When I was at UCSD I felt like I had a very social structure of spending my week day going to class/studying with friends and then my Fridays + weekends going out to the club/raves or simply getting food with friends (yes I balanced going out and studying dont worry lol). I feel like alot of the social time that I have had was stripped away from me in a way. Even though I only graduated college a few months ago, I often times look back at the pictures and memories I had on my phone.

Not really asking for advice but im curious if anyone else feels the same way.

I graduated school in May and started working two months ago in a city where I knew no one coming into. There is objectively nothing wrong with my life post college. I have a low stress job that pays well, my coworkers are nice. I don’t have a commute I get to walk into the office and work remote on Mondays and Fridays. I live in a beautiful one bedroom apartment. I’ve met a lot of people my age in my building who are all nice and I get along with.

Regardless I am so sad and anxious. I miss my community at college more than anything. I went back for homecoming last week and I have been so depressed ever since. It was so unbelievably nice to see people who know me and understand me. I know that things just take time but I’m just so over meeting new people here. I just want to see people everyday who understand me. Again, I know this just takes time but it honestly just sucks and I’m sick of forcing myself to go out and meet new people it feels exhausting.

Something else I am struggling with is living by myself. In college I lived with the same roommate for 5 years and we had the best relationship. I really miss having someone to come home and talk to that understood me and held me accountable. It was so much easier to go to the gym, do the dishes, etc. living with a friend. I am struggling so hard to do things for myself.

All I want to do is run back to the same city I went to college in. Realistically I know this won’t help because things are just different now but it sucks. I feel guilty for being so sad because I know I have it a lot better than other people coming out of college. I feel like not enough people talk about how difficult this transition is.

Hello,

I am a Community College student currently applying for transfer to University of California schools (UC) for communications (UCLA, UC Davis, UCSB, UCSanDiego). I am almost done with my coursework as prerequisites and have been told over and over how useless the degree I am getting will be or how I won't make enough money to survive etc. after school. I am not passionate about communications but I went through a very difficult time in my life my first two years at CCSF and ended up swapping from business administration to communications. I'm here just curious if anyone has had a similar experience to me and what you're doing after school.

I was also thinking that studying LAW post grad would be a possibility if I am really struggling with finding work.. Please feel free to ask any questions i'd be happy to answer, really just want to gather information to ease my anxiety.

I’m seeing a therapist now, but also wanted to just rant here.

I went through college quite severely depressed. I dealt with a chronic health conditions that really mentally affected me right before freshman year.

It made me unbelievably distressed, insecure, and just a shell of who I was. Secondarily, I felt bitter because I was watching everyone around me have fun and develop, whereas I was stuck in my own problems.

I was somewhat high functioning though. Fear of regret was almost solely what pushed me to do things. It was really difficult, and often joyless, but I still passed classes, went out, and dated a little bit.

Graduated, moved to a major city, making good money. It was just like everything came crashing down. I was bottling up everything for so long just pushing myself, and I felt so depressed I didn’t even know it was possible to feel worse. My first few months in this new city, consisted of me isolating myself, neglecting my life, and just so hopeless and down that I could barely focus on the job that I had once dreamed of.

Whatever I was hanging onto in college was just gone. And I couldn’t run away from my problems forever. Yet didn’t know how to cope with them either.

Also I realized - I felt like I just don’t know who I am. In college I played the role of a confident, chill, too cool guy, and hid my depression always. But I also hated this acting game I played.

Idk… for me college was indescribably rough and I always hoped it would miraculously get better afterward. But now I just feel like I don’t even know myself and my own life. I can act and keep acting but it’s not the life I want to live. And in reality, I’m just a severely depressed dude who can somewhat maintain the appearance of a decent life. And still incredibly bitter/sad that my personal development and zest for life has just dissipated ever since highschool

I am a senior in college with poli sci and com degrees. I've had trouble deciding what direction to go after I graduate. I have always been interested in psych and pursuing a career in counseling or therapy. I do not have connections in this field so I am looking here to get advice or more info. I took psych 100 in college and AP psych in high and really enjoyed the content. Psych is very different that poli sci in terms of the how you learn the content. What would be the best route to get there after college since I do not have course experience in psych? What is the path like for someone like me in this situation? What are some things I would not think of that you think I should know? would a master’s in counseling prepare me for licensure in other fields of psychology? Has anyone here successfully transitioned into psychology from a different major? What challenges did you face, and what advice would you give? I'm not sure what type of counseling I would focus on yet. What is the flexibility of the master's degree?

I graduated in may and was a little too hopeful I would find a job so I stayed in the city where my college is. I’ve kinda just been a failure all this time. At most is I have gotten an internship that has underpaid me and have a service part time job so I don’t drain my savings.

I never went home during my undergrad. My family sucks period. They don’t believe in my mental health issues less my chronic illness. I couldn’t get any help or any support under them. Plus I can’t leave the house alone or dress a certain way. I hate being there but I think I’m screwed soon.

I don’t have anything going for me and my life isn’t great now. I hate my roommates since they like to complain about me to everyone but me so I learn whatever stupid thing I did wrong by other people. They treat me like Im homeless half of the time and the other half like I’m a spoiled rich brat. While also if I ever call them out on stuff they are mentally ill. I’m just mentally done.

I accepted to see my parents again for two weeks because I got so sick of my roommates. Which sucked…none of them believed in chronically ill and wouldn’t try to protect me from getting sick when a few of them got sick. On top of their normal crazy control shit. I mean it was better for my mental health a little bit because my roommates and my job was driving me insane to the point I was contacting hotlines for help.

I think I’ve just accepted that when my lease is up I’m going back to that miserable town. I can’t get a real job and I’m so depressed here what’s the difference of going home to be more depressed and receiving the same amount of help. The only thing I worry about is I won’t have the resources for my chronic illness.

I just don’t know what to do with my life everything seems so hopeless and meaningless. I know it’s gonna get worse when I have to go home and give up all my freedom I worked hard for because I’m a failure

So I graduated in May and have been working remotely at my parents house in my small-ish hometown since. I signed the lease on a rental home for a year, but I’ve been feeling kind of lame about choosing to stay/rent in my hometown. I chose to stay because I love my friends and family here but I feel like I should have just moved to the big city my remote job is located in to work hybrid. I know it’s controversial to enjoy being in your hometown but I really do like my life here :/ I plan on moving to the city next year, so it’s not the end of the world, but I feel super self conscious about my decision seeing my college friends travel the world and move all over the country for their jobs. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Hi! I recently moved in with my long distance partner and I am very much in love and in a happy relationship.

However he is working since two years and really likes it and I am finishing uni and I feel *in big letters* LOST. We moved to a city where I don't know anyone and have to start from zero and seasonal depression is not helping at all to get motivated. I don't feel motivated in making new friends as I have great ones already but I do want to give this living together a decent shot. While he is going to work, I am finishing my thesis (very unmotivated and slow process) so I need something to look forward to as finishing uni gives me a lot of grieve and nostalgia (already).

I am in a very privilege situation where i do have some money saved up to travel, however this might not be the cure to my issues. Now i am asking for any advice what helped in this almost post uni blues, should I go traveling? Any other ideas would be very appreciated <3

Work feels repetitive and unfulfilling. I'm lonely. I want to feel a sense of home again.

While I'm still technically in school, all of my classes will be online for the duration of the program I'm taking. I've graduated too already with an Associates. But like, I miss a few of the classes I had to take in person for my Associates. Mostly general education stuff. Not necessarily for the school work, but the stuff I was learning, or the people I went to class with. Like, I took a Louisiana history class that I absolutely loved for the materials we covered, along with enjoying the professor I had for that class. I hated math, but I loved how the professor taught it, and was happy to have other students who I could empathize and collaborate with on the subject. I've been on and off tempted to take a class or 2 here and there that interest me. Now, idk if I could take these and they not count towards a degree. I honestly may just like learning new things in a classroom setting. But I definitely do miss certain classes

I graduate soon and doing this last couple of years of my course (online, so it’s not like I even have to leave the house) has made me realise how much I hate doing anything and everything. I despise getting up for classes and will skip them most of the time, doing coursework feels like banging my head against a brick wall and I’d rather scratch my nails on a chalkboard than look at flashcards.

It’s not exactly like I can get a job - I’m housebound with a disability and reliant on care for bathing etc, and my parents know this but still want me to do ‘something’ whether that be an online business or passion project or whatever. I get it, I do, but I’d just be making myself miserable.

I despise anything being structured by anyone else - I used to cram my schedule full 14 hours a day most of my youth until I got my disability. I like video games and art, and I’m pretty good at it too, but any time anyone suggests I do something in a certain time frame (e.g. deadlines, or working at certain times of the day or in certain spaces like a desk) it just makes completing that task miserable and then I can’t touch that thing for a while e.g. can’t draw or can’t write etc because it puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

It’s not like I’m just being a bit stroppy, it physically makes me miserable and sick.

My social life is non-existent except for a couple people I speak to when I can muster up enough of a face to be a decent person and I enjoy it that way - I’ve never enjoyed anyone else in my little personal bubble whether physically or inside imaginary worlds inside my head (which is quite often). I’ve always enjoyed being on my own and shutting myself out from the world aside from an odd Mario kart match with some random people in a lobby at 2am, but even that is scarce.

I’ve tried volunteering online - it is genuinely the biggest stress I’ve ever had and I’m giving it up at Christmas and I’ve only been in the role barely two months. It’s only 1 hour a week and yet I spend the rest of the week insanely stressed about it, and I can’t wait for it to be over with every time it rolls around. Which sounds awful…but it’s true.

I know I need to get As in my final exams, but I’m currently predicted Ds and Es in everything and I’m on the verge of just giving up and conceding myself to TV binges until I’m 80 in a nursing home. I’m pouring my energy into course work and avoiding course work - I really don’t do much else.

What the heck do I do??

Hey everyone! I’m afraid this might turn into a bit of a rant lol but I graduated uni about 2 months ago and I’ve been really struggling with my emotions since. I commuted my first 2 years which I deeply regret as I was very sad and lonely and made no friends. But my 3rd and 4th year were amazing. I know it sounds pathetic but I’m just struggling with losing my identity as a student and that I’m not still having fun and experiencing all the fun things that come with uni. I also stayed in my university city which I think I regret as it’s just a reminder and also my boyfriend is still at uni and I just feel jealous of all the fun he is having. I still love the uni life and going out and partying and I’ve really been struggling to make friends post uni. I guess I just need reassurance that life is still going to be good and I won’t feel like this forever. I know this sounds pathetic but I don’t think I’ve felt this low in a long time. I’m grateful for any advice or reassurance. :)

I’m graduating college in May and I want to move to Charlotte, NC post grad. I’m not too far from Charlotte currently , would it be beneficial for me to go to networking events there? I cant decide if it would help me find a career or if I would just be standing awkwardly the whole time. If anyone knows of any events like this or has recommendations on securing employment there that would be great. Thanks!

I graduated college a couple of months ago and things feel like it has been stuck at the same place. After Graduation, I decided I would go on a little trip with my friends to have some fun after college since the whole journey in college was chaotic. After I came back from this trip, I decided to take a month off to have the summer vacation that I missed since high school. It was a time for me to have some more fun with my friends back home.

Now, I have been constantly sending out job applications and looking for jobs but this whole process has been so dehumanizing for me. The constant ghosting, rejections, and getting to the last stage to be dropped. For context, I am taking this gap year to get some experience in the Legal industry in some type of way as an intern, legal assistant, or receptionist at a law firm. I am also gonna be studying for the LSAT but the whole studying that I started weeks ago has been making me a little sad. My family is constantly asking me what I am going to do and I am starting to feel the pressure from them.

I used to be able to use college as an excuse to figure out things. But now that I graduated, I feel like a failure and I hate going on Linkedin to see people post about getting new jobs and grad schools. I know I should not compare myself to others but it is honestly so hard not to. I also apply for part-time jobs at retail stores and restaurants, since I need the extra money for something in the meantime as I look for jobs in the Legal industry. However, nothing appears to be working out and I feel rather stuck and lost at home. It doesn't help that my family just thinks I am some lazy person who is not trying hard enough to find a job.

I do have somewhat of a support system. However, this whole post-grad life has made me realize how burnout I have been and this constant feeling of anxiety and stress is not helping. I know I should not feel defeated after rejection since there will be jobs. It's not the one singular rejection that hurts but rather the pile of rejections that keeps adding up that is starting to affect me. How does one find a way to feel more positive after graduation? What are ways to get out of this rut?

Finishing my undergraduate degree soon and getting isolated and miserable. I don't know what to do after my degree but I am most likely not good enough for any significant graduate/professional program if I even made my mind up of which one to do. I forgot why I am even doing my degree. It is depressing watching others above you achieve highly GPA-wise and get lots of support/attention/opportunities or publications when you will only achieve an undergraduate degree and likely never anything higher. Many people already have an undergraduate degree. So many people have a degree that you pretty much need graduate studies to be competitive in the job market. Even after studying it is unlikely that I will get a job in my field, and I additionally will be left with a pile of debt.

I am left wondering why I even bothered studying in the first place. I don't even feel lile attending my graduation ceremony anymore. I should be happy because I am a "first generation student" but my degree doesn't mean anything positive to me anymore. I feel like I am trapped and forced to be isolated. Nowadays while going to university I just don't feel the same positive emotions I used to feel and it's just not the same anymore. In university, I feel like a number (unless I would be the top achieving student) partly because nobody talks to me or remembers me there after years. I am basically a walking pile of bones to them that gives the university money to fill a seat.

How should I know what the right life path for me is after graduating given my circumstances 😔? I feel like I will be actually eligible to be diagnosed with depression when I return to "normal life," aka no longer a student. I don't know what to do or feel anymore except feel unhappy. I am not excited for anything and I don't feel good about anything related to university anymore. I feel like things will only start to get worse after I graduate. How do I adjust to life after university and navigate a career path that is right for me?

I’ve been feeling pretty down and could use some advice. I’m still in college, but it’s been rough—people have been mean to me for no reason, and it’s really hurt my confidence. On top of that, I’ve been sleep-deprived for years, which hasn’t helped at all.

I’m worried that once I graduate, I won’t know how to make friends. I don’t really enjoy the typical social stuff like hiking clubs; they seem boring to me. I also feel like I never got to experience my younger years the way most people do, and now it feels like I missed out.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you manage to find your people after college? Any advice would be appreciated.

| (23 F) had been sorta forced into taking a year off before grad school bc of my mental health/burn out. I'd seen it as something to be ashamed about but l'm already feeling so much better atm. The only issues I'm having is that this year off is sort of making me dread my future. I'm obviously going to shoot for a more "adult-ish" job with a standard work week than the small college student job I have rn but burning through 40 hr work weeks and having no free time sounds so hell-ish. I have family members that work like crazy and they're always exhausted so man idk is there really no such thing as a work-life balance in the "adult" world? I also feel very confused about whether or not I'm making the right decision career wise. My career (counseling) is known to be really shitty until you get your license and even then alot of pol switch professions bc of burnout. I actually just had a family friend decide that they needed to step out the career and they've barely worked as a therapist for 5 yrs, so it's kinda freaking me out. Anyone ever felt stuck during their gap year as well?

Hello, I’m a college freshman and I’m looking for advice from anyone with this degree or working in the field.

TLDR: Is this a good combo for getting jobs/helpful for the job field?

Basically I’m unsure of whether or not I want to pursue the “creative” part of marketing or the “analytical” part, I know I have plenty of time but I want to set myself to not be locked out of either aspect. MarCom at my school primarily focuses on basic marketing with the addition of PR courses, while marketing is almost ALLL analytical. I’m trying to be as well rounded as possible which is why I am adding business analytics as a minor.

Now im not someone who doesn't have freinds, i dont need help on how to talk to people lol. What im really stuck on is maintiang a healthy social life with the freinds i have. Im pretty much sucked in and bogged down by the job application process while alot of my freinds are either in the same place as me mentally or have a have a full time job making it difficult for me to see them (Since i work part time on the weekends). I even forget to call people cus im too focused on job stuff :/

How do u guys make sure to get some fresh air with the people you love?