if I was white I feel like my problems would be solved. id give anything to be a white woman, even an average looking one. I hate being Pakistani. everyone thinks we're ugly. I feel like I'm not deserving of love or kindness because of my background. everyone hates us, men wouldn't be so repulsed if I wasn't Pakistani. Why was I born like this?

Everybody has a boyfriend or girlfriend and acts like it’s super easy. I’ve always wondered how it felt to be normal, I was always the one left out, always called the ugly one, and ignored. No one my age has liked me. I was asked out as a joke in high school a couple of times. One guy even apologized when he realized that his friend was making fun of me by saying “My friend has a crush on you”. After graduating, it’s gotten even worse. I don’t talk to anyone all day, let alone men. I’ve always had a hard time with social interaction but I didn’t think it would be this bad. At this point, I’m wondering if I may be autistic. Not only am I extremely shy and afraid of showing my personality, I am fat and unattractive. I just want to know how it feels to have friends, a boy friend, and just a normal life. I wish I could go out and have fun but I have extreme social anxiety and have always had a difficult time in social situations.

I am trying to put myself out there and date and I have been on the dating apps for a few months by now. (I periodically download them and try dating until I cannot take it anymore, I take a break, then I come back again.) To be fair, while it was painful, I've gained a tiiiny bit of confidence from trying to connect with men, and some dating experience. It never goes anywhere though and it is exasperating.

For me, the most common outcome of meeting a guy is being ghosted after 1 or 2 dates (usually 1). I have also perfected the art of predicting who will ghost me, I can usually see it coming based on their lukewarm attitude, I can say "ooof, I am being friendzoned again." Recently something happened that broke this pattern though.

I went on a date with a guy, we had a pleasant enough conversation, at least I thought I would like to give him a chance and have a second date with him, as far as I am concerned. He, however, sounded waaaaay too enthusiastic about meeting me. He said he would love to see me again and invited me to an exhibit at an art gallery when I said I was interested in modern art. He even bragged that he knows the curator of this exhibit and could introduce me to him if I wanted to, yada yada. I said I will check my schedule to see if I can accompany him on the day he proposed and let him know. When we parted, he repeated that he was looking forward to seeing me again. The next day, I texted him to say that I checked my schedule, I was free that day and I can come to the art gallery with him, after all.

And then I never heard from him.

Lol.

This is a first. For the first time, I am being ghosted by a guy who feigned enthusiastic interest in me. I wish he had just been politely lukewarm like the others. Ouch. This hurt more.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don’t want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart’s content.

I'll never have a decent support system, my family fought today bc of money. I'm so stressed bc of it and bc of my FAW status too, like - I'll never have a bf bc of my looks. No matter how nice, gentle, kind, etc I am to people, especially men.

Most of them would rather have a bitchy but hot woman as their wife, so why people gaslight me into thinking that personality matters? If that was the case, then maybe I wouldn't be single, I wouldn't have been mocked for being a POC, for being flat chested, for having a more "quirky" personality, etc.

Besides, I never been on a date, I never been asked out either, only as a joke or a in a dare. I never got those romantic stuff that women get like love letter and flowers, etc. I see women around me getting those but it's never me. I've tried approching men but they seem to be disgusted of me, so why I should put myself there?

It's hopeless, I have nothing going on for me, I plan ending my life soon enough if nothing works out for me. I'm tired of people giving me fake hope about everything.

Maybe I'll be better gone from this world, even my family hates me. No one will ever love me.

I had a reservation for a special restaurant but then my friend cancelled on me and then everyone else I reached out to couldn’t make it.

I really wanted to go to this restaurant. I decided to post on my city’s subreddit out of desperation to see if anyone wanted to go with me on a spontaneous date. Only requirement is that they had to be kind of close to my age.

I got one message (from a 40 year old) and I’m in my twenties, so I declined.

I feel so pathetic. What am I doing? Even if it’s the worst date ever, I just want to go on a date once. Sit across a man 1 on 1 in a restaurant.

I'm not going to repeat what he said, but he attacked my entire race and myself, and tried to get a response out of me. This was one of the most racist things I've seen someone say, and he directed it at me ( although he tried to play it off as if it were not ).

I feel like I handled the situation well enough. When someone calls you & your race ugly and says everyone hates you and will NEVER like you, it's hard to think of a response to that, so I just didn't respond. After that he didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

If I were younger, I probably would have given him the emotional response he wanted, but I feel a lot more "apathic" now.

That being said, I do feel hurt. I'm not a fighter or strong. I'm pretty sensitive. This happened hours ago, and I'm still thinking about it, but I have literally no one to tell this to.

The bible says you're suppose to act as the light on the hill, but being attacked like that, in PUBLIC, and having to pretend it didn't affect me is painful.

edit: Maybe there's something going on in his life that's made him want to lash out at me. idk.

Sick of boys and girls ik coming to me to vent their relationship problems about exes or current partners. I think part of the reason they do it is bc they know I’m an alone woman (still holding onto hope for the forever part), because they think someone happily in a relationship doesn’t have time and can’t comprehend these problems. I’m naturally an empathetic person, which means people sense this and take advantage, thinking they can tell me anything and I’m there to listen 24/7 like I have nothing else to do. This resulted in me blocking and cutting off certain individuals where the conversation was very one sided, about them. None of them care abt me but everyone wants to vent their stupid love life problems. I rlly don’t wanna hear it. Yk what off and come back when you wanna talk about something else, which is probs never!

I can't find it in me to feel sad when an eyelash is out of place or some bullshit because I've simply never had the privilege of having nice features in the first place. For the most part growing up, it's just me gaslighting myself to care about cosmetics like make-up, faux extensions, lotions, serum, perfume, blah blah + whatever health gimmick is current trending because both sexes will judge you (for different reasons) if you don't have immediately have extensive knowledge on this. Especially among women suddenly you're not a girl's girl and you're not "in the know" anymore. Many times I just craved connection with other women, (especially other family members, cool aunties, older cousins etc) so I read about this kinda stuff, and it's a lazy way to get into a conversation if yk these things. Also as an the eldest sister there's this expectation that you need to "know" all the secrets to girlhood (have never had a boyfriend in my life and am in my 20s)

I wish I could just live in a commune of people who looked like me and were only focusing on health benefits rather than sex appeal. I don't think I will ever have proper sex appeal and I'm tired of chasing it, I do feel pretty sometimes it's just really not a huge priority for me. (Crazy!!)

I think I'm decent looking, not a stunning model but I'm definitely not unattractive. I wear makeup and am really into fashion. The problem is that guys may seem friendly or talk to me sometimes, but they quickly lose interest when they realize I'm awkward or can't hold a conversation. After a while, they get disinterested and don't make efforts to spark conversation.

Because of this, I've never been on a date before or been asked out at 22. I also think I'm autistic and my NP thinks I have it, but diagnosis is expensive and takes a long time.

Anyone have this problem too?

I love my sister, she is the kindest person in the world. But I also can't deny that I wish I looked like her more than anything else. Even if you take away the features I can fix, like my weight, it won't change the fact that I have such an ugly face. Even makeup can’t fix me. There is so much noticeable asymmetry. My eyes aren’t a nice shape. They are very asymmetrical on the bottom lid especially. I think my eye lids retracted on one of them due to my overactive thyroid or something. I have a lazy eye, which I had surgery on when I was a child and it did help a lot. If I don’t have my glasses on, you can usually only see I have a lazy eye when I am tired . But my glasses are a positive prescription, so it makes my eyes look bigger and my lazy eye becomes so obvious. They are also so deep set, I’ve never seen anyone with eyes so sunken into my skull like mine are. I’m not sure the best way to describe this but when I’m in bad lighting it casts a bit of a shadow on my eyes, you can’t see them properly and you can see just how sunken in they are. (It lowkey looks scary in some pictures). It doesn’t help that I also have low set eyebrows. I keep raised them raised all the time as when I don’t, it smooshes my top eyelid down a bit and it makes me look so angry and masculine.  The issue I have when I raise them though is that it makes my eyebrows look so asymmetrical (different heights) and it makes the skin between my eyebrows look weird because it makes my nose look longer and bigger than it already is. My nose is huge and wide, it looks so unflattering and I don’t think it balances out my other features that well. I have the squarest head in the world, but I also feel like my face is also so undefined.  No hair style I have can ever flatter it. My hair is so frizzy as well, I don’t know how to manage it so I just leave it in a ponytail all the time. My  skin is horrific, I have huge pores, acne, redness all over.   My teeth are so bad, I have acid reflux and they have eroded away my top front teeth so much that I have to have 2 pulled out. I hope I can get implants (but they are so expensive and Idk if I will be able to afford them but I’m trying to). I am overweight as well  but I find it so hard to lose weight (doctor thinks it is because of pcos) My breasts are so large that I am left in pain everyday. I have an overhanging belly and stretch marks. The thing about losing weight as well is that Im going to have so much lose skin that I can’t afford to get removed. My ears stick out too much, and I can say so much more.

if you saw my sister, you would not think we came from the same parents.Her features are so symmetrical. Her eyes are beautiful, she has a small nose and great facial harmony. People tell her she's pretty all the time. Meanwhile, I post on  and just get people confirming my suspicions. Neither of my parents are ugly either, I just seemed to inherit the worst combination of their traits. And even though I hate the way I look so much, I can’t stop looking at myself. I compare the way I look in different lighting and angles in selfies, mirrors and photos with the back camera on my phone all the time.

I'm just tried of it all. All this may sound so superficial to some people but I feel like looks do matter a lot. I don't think I will ever have a relationship. Guys have always called me ugly, especially in high school. I don't even have a good personality to make up for it. Im so awkward and I never know how to talk to people. So I can't even make friends.

Posted something in separate subreddit, the person seemed vaguely rude since they suggested I posted too much and they weren't going to read all that then ultimately said they solved the mystery for me when I was questioning them about it by posting a screenshot showing I post here. Something like this happen to anyone else?

I been thinking a lot and I think the reason why I'm so fixated on a potential romantic partner is because I lack basically anything else and our society especially women are also very fixated on male validation and straight relationships. The friendships I had been seriously like 80% talking about their boyfriends or family. I lack family aswell,I don't got anyone besides my parents and they been both egocentric and difficult, there's no family life. Idk what to do, I lack a support system of friends and family... It feels isolating. Idk what ppl are talking online about decenter men ans that their platonic relationship been so good. I don't feel much fulfilment in my friendships til now, I felt more like a third wheel and free therapist. All the women that I meet and get along with are male crazy.

Idk what to do or where I can seek equal friendships, im also autistic and not really that much independent... I also feel like ur just getting into a social circle when u already know someone, through family, other friends etc. What's ur situation on a support system and decentering men or romantic relationships?

Doesn’t have to be only romantically speaking, but generally; in the workplace, the mall, anywhere.

How have you been doing? Do you have any plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you’d like, FAW related or not.

Homecoming is tonight and Im at home by myself sulking and wallowing in my own self pity. All my friends, or the people I know, have boyfriends and friend groups and plans for tonight but I am by myself. I have no interest in going to big social events but it still hurt not to be invited or even asked by anyone I know. I spent the last few weeks watching hoco proposals in the hallways and even recorded one for one of my friends. That same day I got home and cried for like an hour from anger and envy. THIS SUCKS! I want it so badly and its NOT coming. Watching your classmates get their first boyfriends and girlfriends, going on dates and having their first kiss, doing all the couple stuff. TERRIBLE! You want it so badly youll do anything for it, you pray for it and wish and affirm and do everything you can to make it happen but it never comes. My teenage years are flying by, in 2 years Ill be graduating but I feel like I never got to be a real teenager. I never had a teenage romance or had anyone confess to me or express any kind of attraction to me physically or for who I am as a person. Im falling behind my peers and feel like Im forever mentally 10 years old wearing the skin of a teenager and running around playing pretend. Whatever. Its all so stupid. If you complain about this everyone will tell you to wait for your time to come but its not coming and I know its not. Might as well get used to whatever this awful feeling is now so Im not suffering as bad when Im older and still alone.

I know we’re all struggling with connection, and I’m going to guess that a lot struggle with sadness and loneliness. It’s an important reminder to keep going. You’ve got this 🩷

I complained about an uncomfortable convo at work, brought up a medical issue that was relevant to that convo. Here we are two days later. I want to dig a hole and hide in it forever

So I recently moved out of my parents house (this was a big deal for me!). And in the spirit of keeping momentum going to keep making changes in my life; I’ve been doing my best to get out with friends in real life more and meet new people.

One of these such adventures was me going out for dinner with four strangers. In my city (and I think it exists in several others) there’s this app where you take a compatibility test, it matches you with 4-7 strangers and then you all go for dinner at a place they make a reservation for you. You don’t get to know anything about anyone until you get there. It’s not a dating thing - just a getting to know more people thing. So in my group there was two other girls and two guys. Four out of the five of us really gelled well and it was a good night with lots of fun conversation and laughter. Everyone asked for my contact info after which made me feel like I really was a part of the group and that people enjoyed spending time with me.

Only one guy reached out to me after though. But our text conversations were really great; I was laughing all the time. We decided to meet up the next week for coffee. I didn’t think it was a date but also didn’t think it wasn’t; if that makes sense? He showed up a little late. But again in person we were having really great conversations and things were going well…… until my Dad called saying I needed to drive him to the hospital because my grandma had fallen and developed a brain bleed.

So of course my family comes first and I drop everything to go…. Which in hindsight might’ve looked a little suspicious. I wasn’t trying to blow him off but it definitely might’ve looked like I was getting a friend to bail me out of a date partway though (not something I’ve ever done but I’ve heard of others doing it). I texted him after I left apologizing and saying I hoped we could hang out again sometime. He responded that night… but now radio silence.

I just feel like the universe is working against me. It’s so hard not to feel like it’s not even worth trying to date if it’s just going to turn out like this every time.

I don't think there's anything worse than this disease. It leads to depression, isolation, immaturity, alienation...all which feed into social anxiety and make it worse. A destructive loop.

This disease makes me feel like an alien. I even have social anxiety symptoms with my mom, and she's the person I'm most comfortable with. A while ago I told her some of my most embarrasing feelings and thoughts about myself, that I typically keep on reddit. Ever since then I sense that she knows why I go quiet around her, which I've always done because my mind often goes blank due to being in my head. This happens with everyone, including close family. Now I notice her being awkward with me because she's realized I'm not a person of few words because I'm tired or just naturally quiet. I'm a person of few words because I'm internally on edge, feeling disconnected from everyone, even my mom.

It's insane that the reason for my feelings of despair/anxiety are all internal, when others typically feel depressed over common reasons like divorce, love, family problems, etc. I feel like the only person in the world who feels this specific feeling and it's all a result of my defective brain. I can be content alone but connecting to others is the most fundamental part of being human

They say at age 25, the brain is fully matured up to that point. Yet I don't feel any different; I'm still the same depressed and socially awkward 18 year old. Does that mean I'll always be this way? No one will stand being with me, who knows how insufferable, unattractive and immature I can become as I grow older. I don't want to grow old anymore. I'd rather have a short life than become old and wrinkled.

Unattractive men have always been the meanest and cruelest to me. I bought into the Hollywood lie that unattractive guys have a good heart and that you should give them a chance... and that ugly guys would be more lenient over your looks. LIES!

Also, for some reason, the more unattractive the guy is, the higher his standards are. It's a huge mistake to think that ugly guys will treat you better. Not to mention that settling for someone you're not attracted to just because you feel lonely is a recipe for disaster.

Yep, just wanted to know if they still had them and asked nicely what the cost was because I didn’t notice the sticker on the display case at first and it didn’t show the price on the overhead menu, and instead of just telling me they were out of stock the guy is like ‘the price is on the display case’. Already not off to a good start. So after struggling to find the sticker I decide to order and the guy is like, oh, we’re out of stock. Okay cool I don’t know why he didn’t say that when I asked about the price. He says something about Wednesday and Friday but he’s mumbling and I’m anxious because he’s already being kinda rude and I don’t hear exactly what he says so I ask if they are restocking those days and he’s like no, we’re not restocking.

Cool. So I’m thinking maybe I can still get the Halloween themed munchkins without the bucket so then I start ordering that and he just walks off while I’m mid sentence and the woman working there is like sorry and takes over. She was much nicer but as I’m ordering I accidentally say I want the bucket when I actually was trying to say I just want the Halloween themed munchkins w/out the bucket if possible but because my mind is running a thousand miles a minute and I already feel bad because the guy before was so rude I accidentally say I want the bucket but she nicely corrects me unlike the guy. So I’m waiting for my order and the guy walks over to the woman and I overhear him say he was scared of me then they start whispering about something I can’t hear, but it was likely about me as well.

I wasn’t being aggressive, I thought I was being polite, maybe a little socially awkward because I am but I used a polite and light tone and tried to sound as friendly as possible, however I am verifiably unattractive, so I can only assume he was scared because he didn’t like my appearance. Especially since the woman didn’t seem to think the same thing because when I overheard them gossiping about me she seemed surprised he thought that way.

Hah, men always have to remind me in some way I am unworthy of being treated like a human or that I am undeserving of basic respect because they don’t find me attractive. I’ve had men look at me with fear in their eyes plenty of times without me doing or saying anything but this is the first time I hear one say they were scared of me out loud. Guess that confirms it isn’t all in my head.

So now I’m in my room crying because I feel like crap and wish I were dead. Thinking about what I possibly could’ve done to make that experience better, or why do I always make myself look like a fool in public, why do I always attract negative attention no matter what I do, what in the world is wrong with me? I am just so tired of people, men especially, treating me like I’m a worthless piece of trash or like I’m out to ruin their day just for existing. I hardly ever leave the house and the few times I do something bad happens, yay.

I just wanna love someone so deeply and them reciprocating it, but why is that feels so impossible for me? Why is that so unreachable?

Cue Odette from Swan Lake- 'Is beauty all that matters to you?'

Yeah I'm not pretty, but I think can be pretty kind, pretty smart, pretty funny. Unfortunately none of that matters if you are not an attractive woman.

While in school i was friends with this girl (I'll refer to her as Amy) who was somewhat like me in the sense that we were both not popular, not considered good-looking, not have the most fetching personalities and were pretty much bookworm type of girls. For a time, we bonded over that and some other similar interests. So to be short I'll say we were fellow FAWs.

Amy was very vocal about decentering men, much more than me. She always made a big deal about putting your education & career first, men ain't shit, desiring romantic relationship is beta behavior. I think it was her coping mechanism so I just let her say & do whatever she liked.

One day Amy developed a crush on her classmate, who (from what she described) didn't seem to be so interested in her. She would ditch me to hangout with the guy. 90% of our conversation suddenly became about him. She would ask me things like "what do you think he means when he did this/says this?" and honestly how would i know, i'd never even met him, but then i realised my answers didn't matter because she wasn't even talking with me, she was talking at me...about this guy...who still didn't seem to be so interested in her (there was rumor that he was dating/courting someone else).

Fast forward to when Amy told me she and the guy had started dating. She was happy about that so as a friend, I was happy for her. During the relationship, he stood her up multiple times, insisted on going 50/50 every single date, wanted to touch her even when she felt uncomfortable, didn't want to commit and preferred "just casually dating", etc. After Amy told me about this, I had to be honest and let her know I didn't think that guy was good for her. Would you like to guess her response?

She said I didn't get it bc i didn't have a boyfriend, that i was jealous of her and didn't want her to be happy.

Lord have mercy... So at which point i realized I had lost my friend. She went from screaming at the top of her lungs about decentering men to not only centering one, but a lame one who didn't even treat her well. Our friendship deteriorate and recently (years after school) she tried to reconnect with me which is how i learned she's still in a situationship with that guy. It's a canon event ladies, thinking about it now still gives me whiplash.

This is a bit all over the place. But I am so sick of internalizing people’s horrible treatment of me because of my race and low level of attractiveness or lack thereof. Throughout my school years I was bullied for it, among other things. Now far removed from grade school I still deal with people’s shitty treatment of me.

Pretty privilege doesn’t just affect dating but how people treat you in day to day life including at work and by customer service workers. If I boycotted every store I’ve been treated poorly at there’d be no stores I could go to.

I had a horrible customer service experience recently. I was nothing but polite to this guy and he was rude and cold. Immediately I felt embarrassed and self conscious. Now having time to think on it, I’m angry. Angry at myself for internalizing and tolerating his piss poor behavior and not standing up for myself. I saw someone else ask him for help afterwards and they were white and in my opinion an average looking woman and he was cheerful and helpful.

I’ve dealt with that a lot. Being followed in stores, nasty attitudes from customer service workers when I ask for help, being straight up ignored and so much more. But when it’s someone white or someone female who meets white Eurocentric beauty standards the treatment is completely different. Women of color who are nonblack or black women with light skin, loose texture of hair, and more stereotypical feminine features.

I’m sick of hating myself for everything I’m not. I’m not light enough, I’m not feminine enough, my hair is too nappy, my facial features are too large, my body type not hourglass or pear so it’s not feminine enough. I didn’t ask to be born like this. No one would want to be born looking like me if they had a choice in the matter. But it doesn’t mean I deserve disrespect and nasty treatment.

This is your weekly accountability thread! Many users wanted to find accountability buddies to help with reaching various goals: saving money, going to the gym, socializing, taking care of their health, etc.

What are your goals? Do you need a fellow FAW to step up and kick your butt today? Do you want to cheer for someone who needs some motivation? You can do it here!

I literally thought something was going on here. Turns out my crush is a fuckboy and he was just playfully flirting with me 😭 now I've been ignored on text and know where I truly stand. Just another piece of fun while he pursues the girl he really likes 😔 it's gonna be hard seeing him from now on knowing that he will still approach me and help me around, and I will inevitably let me emotions get played with again...

Going back to my previous post (I deleted the content cos I'm afraid he might find me lol), I did indeed clown myself 🤡

I'm in a group chat with 2 other friends I've known for a while, and they like me when we all hangout together. I can't say I'm comfortable with either of them one on one, and I especially have a weird relationship with, let's call her Ella. Me and Ella used to be good friends until high school. She matured, but I let my socially anxious and abnormal thoughts take over. I ended up regressing while she progressed, and she went her separate way. She also became really no-nonsense and blunt so I started seeing her as an intimidating figure, all while I morphed into the depressive, weird loner at school.

Imagine, we went from being besties who were known to laugh loudly in the middle of class, to complete strangers who even seemed to resent each other! Sometimes we would have to sit at the same table and I would have nothing to say, and neither would she because people don’t care to communicate with someone who's closed off and awkward.

Fast forward several years, we ended up reconnecting...but our relationship has always had an awkward vibe and was never the same. We have another mutual friend, and now Ella is more close to her than me even though they weren't friends in middle school like me and Ella were. We now hangout in 3 (I would never be the one to initiate), and it would always be awkward when me and Ella are left alone. I would blank out and start sweating, all while trying to seem normal, but my demeanor and way of speaking gave it away. Ella would just be short with me because she's the type of woman to have no tolerance for my pathetic and awkward personality. And she's right because why am I feeling like this with a friend? I'm making everything weird.

I've never addressed this and don't plan to. At this point, she just thinks I'm socially awkward and autistic. When I hangout with her, I feel like a socially stunted child like how I was when our friendship first ended in high school. She has evolved so much while I'm still an immature little girl with nothing going for me.

Yesterday our group chat became active and we were discussing another student we went to school with. This student in particular was pretty much the "class loser", as in the one no one really liked and was kinda in the background. Ella especially started going off, saying things like "this is what happens when you're undersocialized and have no social skills". When I read this my stomach dropped because this is my biggest insecurity, the biggest part of me I try desperately to hide from others while at the same time knowing it's the elephant in the room no one directly addresses.

After she said that the text conversation got a bit stale because my other friend didn't want to address it too much, knowing I could read it, and I didn't add much either because it felt off.

I met someone here on reddit and we connectednso well, like the connection was so intense everything was so magical when we talk, we've only talked for 3 weeks 💀 but I swear those days were the happiest days so far in a couple of weeks, it's just that I'm very very very ugly so there's no way for us to be together.