Hi all. I'm coming here because as much as I love and trust my friends, I need some good old fashioned unbiased opinions! This may be lengthy so please stay with me here. It gets juicy.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about a year now. We have been officially dating for 5 months. I don't need to tell you he wasn't an a**hole in the beginning lol. Over the last month and a half I feel like I am dating a completely different person. I used to feel comfortable expressing any concerns I had, and he'd always be a "how can I fix it?" kind of guy. Now I get told I am too sensitive followed by eye rolls and clearly no empathy. Examples to follow..
He planned a trip on my birthday. He explained the trip was with his best friends (most are married) who he does not get to spend a lot of time with, let alone go away on vacation with. It's a timeshare situation, so it couldn't be moved. I knew the trip was important to him. I didn't tell him not to go because I genuinely wanted him to be able to go on the trip.
However, when he first told me, I was visibly disappointed and mute for about 30 seconds. He said that was a very immature reaction. I explained I was trying to gather my thoughts. I was just kind of caught off guard.. He said he would make it up to me, and I said totally fine, but in the future, I'd prefer if he went on trips on any other day but my birthday because I think birthdays are special. I dropped it after that and knew we'd celebrate a different day. I never brought it up again, but he has brought it up every single week since. "I'm celebrating so and so's birthday.. and it's not their actual birthday" or "my buddy is having his birthday next week because his wife will be away on the actual day".
Finally I said, "None of my friends partners would dream of going away on their birthday." TO WHICH HE SAID, "Idgaf I'm dating you, not your friends" and I said ditto! He said I'm too sensitive.
2. He flipped out on me about working out. To preface, I have my no means let myself go. I just do not look the way I looked when I ate celery and hummus for lunch and worked out twice a day (obviously wtf). We were not dating when I was a size 2. I eat very balanced, healthy meals. I do what I can. Of course I love working out, but I do not always have the time or energy. I am currently in an accelerated nursing program and balancing a job on top of it. Sometimes I am on my feet for 13 hours, and then I have to come home and do more work. I complained a while ago that I wish I had more time.
So after one of my very busy days we were on the phone, and he said, "come on I'm about to hop on the bike! Do a ride with me at the same time!" I declined because I was exhausted. HE FLIPPED OUT. "YOU NEVER WORK OUT" then proceeded to accuse me of lying about the two runs I had gone on that week and was cursing at me :)
To this day, he still accuses me of lying about going running (that's healthy and normal). In my humble opinion, nobody gets that angry about their partner not wanting to workout, unless they do not like the way their partner looks. I look exactly the same as I did on our first date. So I got upset. He claims I am too sensitive and jumped to conclusions due to my own insecurities.
(sidenote: he got me airpods for my birthday. I have airpods. I was confused. He thought the newer airpods would inspire me to "get to the gym". I politely declined his gift.)
3. We were day drinking with my friends who were visiting and later had plans to go to the club for his friends birthday (who was celebrating a week later in case that matters lol). We left my friends, and went to his friend's to pregame. Keep in mind, I was visiting him. I do not live in the same city as him.
Events turned, I would have been the only girl going to the club after the pregame (I had friends that wanted to meet up). Towards the end of the pregame, he did a SUBSTANCE, which I did not do. I was very much aware of what was going on.
We got out on the street to get in the Uber. He handed me his apartment keys and said, "you're staying here." Proceeded to get in the Uber without me. His friends were telling me to get in, but how could I after that? My own boyfriend handed me his keys and told me not to come.
I waited for 20 minutes for an Uber to show up. Alone! My phone was on 7%. I am a woman. Obviously, I was upset. He didn't even care if I was safe in that moment. There was no prior discussion. He just left me there. Not even a kiss goodbye!
He called me 30 min later asking where I was. I flipped out. He took a cab back to his apartment. We spoke the next day, and while he agreed ditching me was messed up, he said I should've handled it better and that he was in an altered state.
He said I should've cleaned myself up and met back up with my friends while he was at the club. He said I was only saying Uber isn't super safe for women to "strengthen" my argument. He said there's absolutely no way I waited for 20 minutes (oh yes I did). He said he wants somebody who is more independent than that.
I expressed I don't always want to have to suck it up. I shouldn't even be put in that position to begin with. I accidentally asked him if he is still on drugs (lol), which was not mature of me. I'll admit that. He said we are incompatible because I am too sensitive. When I expressed how upset this situation made me, he proceeded to say he needed time to think about the relationship.
He said we aren't having sex as much as we used to. He claims it's because I am not a sexual person. It hit me though.. he yells at me when I don't workout. He stopped telling me I'm beautiful. He stopped initiating as much as he used to. He used to not be able to keep his hands off of me. I've never had this issue in my life. I have a vibrator. I can assure you I have needs. In his eyes, I am uncomfortable around him and have no desire for sex. He might be right about me being uncomfortable. I am a confident person, but I can't say he makes me feel beautiful.
Yes, we are for sure incompatible. I agree with him on that! However, I think we're incompatible because he is selfish and insensitive. I am a very understanding person. I can forgive, but he never genuinely apologizes. He will try to prove his points for weeks about why I was wrong for being upset in that moment. That's what gets me. I feel crazy and like we are living in alternate universes.. am I really too sensitive? Or am I reacting appropriately to his actions? While he "takes his time to think" I tried giving solutions (I was still in shock, but I've digested it now), and he shoots them down. I proposed breaking up, and he claims he needs more time to think because I am "such a good girlfriend and such a good person, but we have fundamental differences". Throughout this whole thing, he has been texting me calling me my usual pet names.. (wtf).
Obviously the relationship is toast. I know that. I have the breakup text sitting in my notes app. Am I too sensitive? I want to know if it something I should genuinely work on.

So me and my “ bf “ have been dating since December last year I met him at my old job. I am 24, he is 10 years older than me or so I thought. We are currently 2 days in into our vacation I was being nosy while he was in the restroom earlier saw his ID and this man lied to me about his age and is actually in his fucking 50s he’s literally older than my mom and dad. I obviously don’t want to bring it up as we still have 2 days left on this vacation and we drove like 10 hours here so I will still have to be in the car with him and honestly if he lied about something that important I’m scared of what else he might do. I do plan on confronting him as soon as I get home but I don’t know how to act normal now after finding out about this and feel sick to my stomach

I’m an 18year male living with his parents. And I happen to have access to my mothers debit card. I used it to make some payments online and deleted the transaction sms from her phone. She mentioned it today but doesn’t know the slightest that I did it. I regret my actions but I dread the consequences of them finding out it was me even more. I’ve pieced together a pretty good lie but the bank sms missing from her phone is my dead end I have no real way to prove that I was not involved in it somehow. How do I prove that I had nothing to do with the missing sms?

Im on land but it wont go away

I smelled something weird while laying in bed with her and i realized she was smelling her fingers and i kinda just knew she was smelling her discharge and i asked her and she said “idk i just like it” how am i supposed to react to this? i think it’s weird

This is a throw away account because I don’t want her to see this. My mother is trying to force me into joining the Air Force and I’m not sure if I really want to, I believe that I am a bit above average intelligence and I got an 80 on my ASVAB so the military really wants me, the whole thing is my mothers idea and at first I flat out refused but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. We argued back and forth for about this for about a year. She even brought me to a recruiting office and got the presses started. Me and my mom don’t have the best relationship and it would take way to long to explain exactly why but she’s had a history of being abusive (she literally threw me into a wall on multiple occasions) and she has really bad anger issues that led to her throwing me out in my teenage years. I’ve been living with my grandma since I was 16 and I recently turned 18 so the choice is really up to me but I don’t wanna put anymore pressure on mine and my mother’s fragile relationship, and I have some plans for if I don’t join, I want to enroll in culinary school and work as a chef, I’ve talked to some of my friends who were military or know people who were military and they all said they hated it and regret doing it. Me and my buddy already have jobs that pay well enough for us to split an apartment. I also just want to try different things in life, I’m not sure on what I’m gonna do but I know if I tell my mom I’m not joining she’ll lose her mind, what should I do?

Is it better to pay for it through my insurance or just out of pocket if we can figure that out?

okay so I just turned 21 and have never been in a relationship. I don’t know, I’ve always wanted to be in one but I suck at holding a man down.. It kinda hurts seeing everyone around me in relationships and I used to cry most nights because it feels like no one loves me 🤓

Hello everyone! I’m going to nursing school this fall and have two schools that I got accepted to. Theres one that’s a LOT better than the other one. The problem is my mom is 100% against the one that I would rather go to. It’s an hour away and she’s worried for my safety. I told her that I’d buy a car to get there and drive myself to and from. Basically I haven’t asked for anything but for her to just let me go but she absolutely refuses. I don’t want to ignore what she’s saying and do it anyways because she’s my mom but at the same time I know I’ll be angry and resentful for a long time if I just allow this to happen. She’s not listening to me or taking my feelings into account no matter what I say.The deadline to register for classes for the one that I want is May 6th. Please for the love of God someone give me some advice 😭 🙏

I am currently having an extremely huge brain fog, and I need ways to clear it. I live in a private school in the middle of nowhere with 0 decent restaurant next to it. Our dining hall serves absolute trash, unhealthy food. All I eat every single day is scrambled eggs with pasta and occasionally chicken cause they are the only edible things our school provides.

This, with some additional stress, has caused me to develop a huge brain fog. I can't do anything, I have screwed up some tests and can't do any homework without screwing up. I am tired all the damn time and sleeping only makes me more tired. I have some major AP tests coming up as well as trying to learn how to code for college but my brain just deteriorated so bad that I can't even code the most basic stuffs and can't concentrate in class at all.

I can buy vitamin but I'm graduating in a month and buying anything now just seems like a waste of money, since I'm international and don't have the space to take them home.

I need help please help my school sucks I hate my life

So I'm really worried about my mind being transferred into a simulation when I die. People in my life know about this and keep me going about it, scaring me on purpose. I haven't heard them say anything definitive about it behind my back but I always happen to overhear a snippet of something that could mean its true without any context. Why have I never overheard it with full context? Why do I walk in at the perfect timing where I only hear things that COULD indicate its going to happen?

it’s probably just a mixture of limerence and infatuation. i’ve known him for a week.

we met online, but he’s just an hour away from me. we talk here and there.

he calls me ‘cutie’ and would often use emojis such as 🥰 and 😘.

i asked him what compliments he likes and ever since i’ve been calling him pretty and ‘pretty boy’.

i don’t think he likes me.

but for some reason i really really like him. we made a deal that whoever gets a motorcycle first, the other will backpack. he’s convinced he’ll get one first and i’ll have to be his backpack.

it’s been a week, i feel like this crush will go away soon.

he messaged be good morning four days in a row. we talked yesterday and i asked him how many girls he’s talking to. people i know tend to talk to several boys/girls and i wanted to know if he was the same.

he said i was the only girl he’s talking to but he doesn’t do ‘the whole dating thing because one relationship messed him up’ and i respect that. it’s just… now i feel like i have no chance and i should just get rid of these feelings somehow.

maybe there’s a chance that he’ll like me if i take things slow??

any advice?

we’re both 17.

So I’ve been with my current situation ship for 4 years, I’m going to give you a run down on the things we’ve been through and how far along we’ve come and where we are now. We met in 8th grade and were best friends until he asked me to be his girlfriend our junior year of high school. Mind you, the couple of months leading up to him asking me out I was chasing him, chasing him as in asking if he had feelings for me, asking why he always wanted to hug and hold on me when we hung out, asking WHY he wanted to hang out every day in the first place etc etc. well the night before he asked me out I was basically at my last straw of hanging out with him but only being friends bc we had just had a very intimate night, not sexually but emotionally and the way we held each other, and he told me that night we were just best friends. Then the next day I didn’t want him to come over but he begged and begged and I said okay and then he asked me out. The sweetest way ever mind you, he was the first man to get me flowers and actually ask me to be his girlfriend, but he asked when I almost didn’t want him. KEEP THIS IN MIND, he didn’t want me till I was done. Well anyways, red flag number one pops up 2 months later when he’s hanging out with only 5 people 2 of them being girls that I don’t like and he proceeded to answer the phone, thinking I didn’t hear him, and joke to everyone “if this bitch doesn’t answer my phone call” rude but I moved on and stayed with him. Now 4 years later idk where our relationship went wrong, he treats me like the best friend he tells me about, he picks on me like a sister, pushes me around, tugs at my hair, puts gross things on me, calls me names as a “joke” overall his personality towards me breaks my heart a little bit. Also, we went a point in our relationship where we talked to other people, as in we looked for a girlfriend, a girl we could both date, basically polyamorous and idk I feel like that’s where things really went wrong bc he got to talk to other girls with and without me. Which side note I’ve NEVER found anything in his phone.. like anything but just keep this in mind for later. I moved out of my narcissistic mothers house at 17 to move in with him and his family, who was nice at first but when he left for college for 10 months and I lived with them they treated me terribly, wished I would die, would tell me they hoped I got into a car accident, would be angry with me for wearing shorts, in top of this they were alcoholics and would steal my belongings, which ultimately resulted in me ditching and trying to drive 14 hours to Florida, but I turned around 3 hours in, that was when we moved into the hotel I currently work at, me and him have been living here for a year now, the whole year of living here I’ve been no contact with all friends and family, while he uses my car to take his mother to work. He wants me to say it’s our car but he went 8 months without a job while I paid 2k in rent. I feel like it’s my car and my hotel room. Everything feels like it’s mine bc he doesn’t contribute, well anyways along with that, I bought him a brand new phone that he broke within a week because he wouldn’t keep a case on it, and then along with that we have 2 dogs and one of them is old and has a problem holding his pee which means he needs to be walked 10+ times a day but I’m lucky if he even takes him twice, he doesn’t wash the dishes, he’s done it 3 times since we’ve lived here a year and all three times the dishes still have grease and food in them.. along with that he has never taken out the trash, I’m sorry to be stereotyping but I feel like that’s the one thing that should be done without having to be said but in my home NOTHING is done without being said. He has never once vacuumed, done our laundry, or wiped down counters. His shoes get throw in around and his clothes hang from our tv and lamp like a frat house. There’s weed and ash on the tables and he lights things on fire for fun. Once again, this is a hotel room, a hotel I work for, and he will burn our wooden desk. If I ask him to do anything he rolls his eyes and huffs and puffs “oh my fucking god” this is a constant behavior. He treats me as if I’m his mother with the way he complains to be my PARTNER anyways, I left him a year ago bc I didn’t know what I wanted in life but I turned around, and things just don’t seem to have gone ANYWHERE like I mentioned earlier with our living situation but also emotionally. The way he asks me what’s bothering me seems like it never satisfies him, he always picks and picks and now it’s to the point I haven’t know how to explain my feelings or even know what I feel other than numb, well anyways, my fear of him cheating because of his emotional distance was confirmed but only by me downloading text now and getting a fake phone number and he fell for it, he texted this girl (me) sent nudes and everything was even gonna meet up with her but my heart hurt too much reading it so I tried to break up with him, this was a couple weeks ago and it was like once that happened I was completely mentally gone and then all these other little things started bothering me, I feel in my heart that he’s still on some of these apps talking to girl and he’s just really good at hiding it bc there was little to NO proof of him even texting me like he deleted everything, well now since this happened we have spaces apart.. I’ve found someone that I would rather be with but at the same time, now he’s wanting to fight for us, I begged him to leave and he wouldn’t, he decided he wanted to fight for us, so that’s where we’ve been for the last few weeks, ONLY everything went back to normal, the fighting, the not helping out around the house, the getting off work and sitting in his phone for hours and zoning out while I try try to beg for his attention. I only get the attention if I suck his dick and even then I used to love doing that but now I try to avoid it. So this led up to me packing my shit last week and living in my car, FOR SOME REASON I CAME BACK (Not some reason, he doesn’t have a car and his parents are homeless so he has no where else to go at the end of the day and my family told me I’m fucking him up which I don’t want to do so I came back in a last ditch hope for love and for him to be better in life, only downside is, I feel like it’s too late to change, my heart doesn’t feel there anymore but at the same time if anyone was to push through it would be me and him) I just don’t know what to do or how to do anything or am I ruining my relationship? Or should I throw it away? I don’t even know if I should consider being with this new man I’ve found bc it seems like I just crave attention and affection but I’m just so stuck. There’s so much more but I think that’s most of it. I just want someone’s opinion. I know I’ve done wrong to have him treat me this way but idk I guess I need someone to tell me how to get my shit together bc I’m only 20 years old and alone in this world I don’t know what I’m doing.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Around 6 years ago in my second year of college, I met this friend in my hometown through a mutual friend when we were both invited to go clubbing while we were home for the holidays. We hit it off quite immediately, and it felt to me like there was instant chemistry. But I was dating someone else so I didn’t think too much of it. We became friends and as our friendship grew we started to meet between classes once we got back to college, we then started meeting most weekends and also we started booking flights together to go to college from our hometown together. I was initially quite detached and saw him as a goofy friend mostly but then something shifted for me unconsciously and I started crushing hard. I found myself replaying the sort of flirty stuff he said to me, I started finding him way funnier and also started noticing how good looking he was. People who hung out with us would ask us if we’re into each other and random people at college have asked me why I hadn’t dated him. But this whole time we also had certain unsaid boundaries although we used to banter a lot — him and I never really touched each other unless it was a hug to say hello or bye. We also never did stuff like watch films together even though we’ve talked extensively about them. I feel like we avoided it because it might’ve been too intimate for people with that much chemistry. But who knows what his reasons were. Since I’ve noticed the crush I’ve struggled to reign it in. Some days I can’t stop thinking about him and it makes me feel so guilty because I am seeing someone else. But I value our friendship too much so my approach has always been to try to put away the crush and carry on being friends. The things I value about him are : we can talk about art and literature, he’s really funny and I feel like he makes me take myself less seriously and his goofy nature is really refreshing and I think he can be really sweet and thoughtful with his compliments — he really makes me feel seen esp because he is really observant and detail oriented aesthetically. All this while since we met, he never really had a gf, he started dating someone last year. Since then he hasn’t hung out with me much. He told me directly that he doesn’t really think we should hang out one on one. The issue is that just as I was getting over it, him getting a new girlfriend has somehow made it harder to get over this crush. I’ve asked myself if it’s infatuation or even love? Because I want nothing more than to not care but I literally dream about him when I try to forget he exists, it’s ridiculous and absurd. I don’t think it helps that I have no closure about whether this whole thing is unrequited or all in my head. I don’t want to tell him any of this because I really truly love my boyfriend more than anything and I can see my friend is finally happy — with his gf. So why can’t I get over it?! It would make my life so much easier. Help, any advice would be appreciated!! Note: I really do love my boyfriend and I would never actually want to leave him and date my friend, I really do just want to get over this. And it doesn’t help that my friend is now a part of my bf’s extended friend group so I end up seeing him and his gf a lot more than I’d like.

TL;DR I’m crushing hard on my friend on and off although I have a bf and haven’t been able to shake it off for years, and I don’t want to f anything up for myself or anyone else!

I have a friend (21F) who recently rejected me (19m) for being "too soft". I haven't talked to her or seen her at work since (since she broke her ankle). anyways I showed off some money and thanked god for blessing me and she tells me to stop posting my money on social media like she's my mom or my girlfriend. what's a manly response i can use to respond to that? I told her not to do that.

i sometimes drink a celsius for the energy when i need to go hard for a workout, i'm wondering if this will affect me when it comes to gaining weight

So I’ve got a neighbor who daily parks in front of my house. I have asked him before to not park there and to use his own drive way, which he did for about 2 weeks. Now, he has gone back to his old ways. I realize I don’t own the road but he does have space for that car in his driveway he can fit 4 cars but only parks 3 there. I don’t care if he has to play musical cars with his family every time someone has to go somewhere, that’s not my problem! So does anyone have any advice on how to get him to stop.

i had a talking stage that lasted 2 months and everything was just perfect, she even introduced me to her parents. then one day out of the blue she badically broke down saying how she got hurt in the past so much and she cant/doesnt want to start anything. she was really sorry how she didnt want to hurt my feelings and that she had wasted so much time. i tried calming her down and managed to do that but she was still just saying how sorry she was and unadded me on everything. im not really the kind of person that gets so easily attached but i really did like her. I ended calling her next week to ask her if there was anything that i could improve on or change and her voice started kind of breaking down again and she said "no i like you just as you are, you were the right person but we just met at the wrong time" i tried to get her to calm down/ not cry but she just hung up. what should i do? is there anything i can do?

edit: in a later text she apologised for hanging up so fast and said she also said she doesnt want to lose me from her life and if i ever wanna just talk, that she would be there for me

I (37M) caught my wife (38F) wife cheating and i dont know what to do. We have been married 13 years and overall have had a good marriage. 4-5 years ago she told me she was bi as the LGBQ community has grown and become more mainstream. Im okay with that and dont have any issues with it.

At her pervious job she became friends with a trans women, which again i was okay with, and she has been handing out with this person more and more. its now been 1.5-2 years since their friendship started. I've been noticing she has been sneaking out in the early mornings... like 3-4 AM to go hand out with this friend. She is a early riser so I get it, but the other day she came back smelling like sex and went into the shower the moment she got home. She doesnt normally take showers in the AM.... in the past 13 years of marriage i can count on 1 hand the times she took a morning shower.

what should I do?

*edit* we do have a 9 year old son, and our life overall works well, we do demend on each other financially as the world we live in now adays is crazy expensive. we have a very low mortgage on a house so its hard to see myself selling the house to pay 2X for an appartment by myself ya know?

2 months ago I fell in love with a girl in our class, I know her for 7years so we kinda grew together, but our relationship was never that strong, around a month ago she knew, I didn't tell her personally but a friend told her by me permission , she said that she isn't ready for a relationship doe to age and she wants us to stay friends, but a few days ago I started to feel that she loves me back, one of the reasons why I feel this is that I always mention that I love her, miss her but in a way that only she can understand ( I mostly do this in a group chat between our class) and she always reacts in a good way to it, I am not the only person that feels this, I asked one of my friends and she told me that she also feels like this, I just want a way to know.

It's not that I don't find him attractive, because I do. I think he's handsome and I like him a lot, but for some reason I just can't feel any type of excitement whenever I imagine myself doing anything sexual with my current s/o. I already told him about it but blamed it on my hormones to make sure I don't hurt his feelings, and he told me he's okay with it and that he's willing to wait for me. The problem is that we've already been waiting for so long and nothing has changed. I feel bad for neglecting his needs and I'm afraid that if it keeps like that, he'll watch porn, which I'm terrified of... I already tried to break up with him like three times because of it but he would always beg me to not do that and I can't handle seeing him cry, it breaks my heart. Any advice? Please help me, I am so desperate for help.

I was seated next to this old man , around my grandpa’s age. We started talking and he started telling me about his sons and daughters. I just listened. The thing is I was networking since he’s a well known person in his career. Obviously since the convo went well, I gave him his number in that social sense.

He couldn’t properly say goodbye so he called me and asked me to text him once I reached home which I did out of courtesy. He was respectful during the entire conversation and wasn’t weird or anything. But he texted me again today “morning “ which I didn’t reply to since I was busy and called me now which I didn’t pick up because I found it too weird. What do I do? Did I make a mistake?

I feel like my coworker who I thought was my friend has been using me. I work at a hospital, my job is to sit at a desk and watch patients heart rhythms and make calls I’m not a CNA so I’m not supposed to do patient care. My coworker we’ll call her Jaylen is a CNA and also does what I do, as a CNA she handles most patient care. On our unit/floor is located on the second floor, we can only go up to 16 patients, so the CNA can have up to 16 patients or if there are two CNAs they can have up to 8 patients. When other CNAs come from other floors to work at ours, they say ours is so easy and it’s a break from their floors. I’ve seen one CNA have 40 patients once on another floor and there the patients need more care and baths and most are bed bound. Our patients usually walk, we get a couple here and there who can’t get out of bed but I’ve seen no more than 6.

To describe Jaylen, she’s about 5’4 and a heavy set lady, about 300 pounds she told me, she’s pigeon toed and has arthritis in one of her ankles. It seems like every day she works, she’s hurting which makes sense of the arthritis. So I try to help her out where I can, getting food for patients, bring up patients from the first floor, take people to the restroom, bring them things, attach them to the cardiac monitor, all things I’m not supposed to do that I thought was to help her. Now I haven’t seen Jaylen in a week and we get to work at the same time. I walk into our break room to put my things down and the first thing she says to me is “am I by myself?” I say “yeah probably I don’t know I just got here” then she says “ok… and btw welcome back”. We then leave the break room and she’s holding the door for me but I’m waiting for my orientee so I go to get the door so she’s not holding it for long and she says “not trying to be rude here” and walks away. She ends up having to be by herself.

As a CNA they do two sets of vitals on the patients, one when they get there and another four hours later. The CNAs before Jaylen did her beginning vitals for 12 patients so all she has to do is any patient care before her next vitals. She goes to buy coffee and while she’s gone two patients called, one for a blanket and one for the bathroom. I get the patient a blanket first and she comes back and sees me with it and asks “who’s that going to?” Like why does that matter it’s just a blanket?? Then I help take the patient to the restroom, they walked just fine but the nurse told me they needed someone to stay with them so they don’t fall. So I’m waiting for the patient to come out of the restroom, Jaylen sees me and walks away.

About 4 hours later Jaylen is doing her last vitals and we get another CNA. I go to where she is to let her know but I don’t know what room so I say “Jaylen?” No answer “Jaylen?” And she says “huh??” A little rudely. I said “we’re getting another CNA what side of the unit do you want?” She says “I’m finally getting help?” And that hurt. Like we haven’t had any new patients all night and like I haven’t been helping her not just today but every other day! I once picked up EIGHT patients for her.

When the other CNA arrives, we finally have a patient needing to come up to us. She comes up to me and the charge nurse and asks “where is this going to?” The charge nurse is a little fed up with her and says jokingly but not jokingly “if it was going to you we would tell you” and she says something about wanting to know. so first of all, she complains about having the floor but wants to know where patients go that aren’t hers? Might as well have the floor.

Then one of the vital machines wasn’t working. I asked her if there was another she can use she said yeah but it doesn’t have one part. I asked her if she can put the part from the broken one onto the other one and she says “yeah it’s on the other side” like she wanted me to go get it and I say “ok?” And she says “I’ll go put it on” and I say ok and sit down and she walks in front of where I’m sitting saying something I couldn’t hear but it sounded like “so there’s no issue”.

The thing that really bothered me was her standing in front of my monitor WHILE I’m teaching my orientee something and she says hey? And I say “yes Jaylen” and I forgot what she asked me but it was something small that could have waited but she is ALWAYS interrupting me and what I do. I trained her to do what I do and she’s even told me “I thought you guys didn’t do much but learning all this you guys do a lot”

Now writing this I’ve realized she asks me to do the the same things she’s capable of doing herself (like assigning patients to her, letting her know where patients are going when she can see herself but took off that section in the computer for some reason, doing work orders, etc) but won’t then ask me to do things for her or not even jump in to help when I’m doing her job that I shouldn’t be doing.

I’ve vented this to my coworkers and most say I have to tell her no and I have to stop helping her but I don’t know what to say and I’ve seen someone tell Jaylen no and she got pissed. I kind of want to talk to her but confrontation makes my heart rate go up. She’s been talked to so many times by upper management and she’s only slightly improved. Jaylen is the type of person to think she’s always in the right and part of me feels like there’s no point in talking to her. I don’t know what to do.

I'm 24 and got out of a five-year relationship with my high school sweet-heart around three months.

The truth is, I have been having some struggles with staying afloat. My reason for waking up every morning, going to work, attending university, and just overall breathing was for my former partner - and she left me to be with someone else, which has destroyed my self-esteem and motivation in life and I am feeling like a real husk of my former self.

I had goals before and during our relationship; however, those goals (us completing high school, our first real job, our first car, our move to the big city, our first time attending a university, etc...) always involved a 'we' or an 'us' and I've never really gotten to do basic life goals on my own.

One goal I set for myself was to travel to Africa - which I did do, and I love traveling. But even completing that goal, on my own, was soured by coming home to my partner leaving me. I feel helpless, and unable to even have goals for my passions...

And, for example, I've been starting to form goals I think... but they're extreme: such as selling everything and just moving abroad.

But how do you set, like, goals in general? I wake up every morning and have no goals, no objectives, no wants or drives. How do I set goals for myself? What are some basic goals? Start small? Start big? Anyone got any suggestions?

Thank you.

My mom has been with this one guy for a while and he’s a complete dick sometimes. There’s times he’s ok, he ends up buying food and cooking sometimes but that’s abt it and now he wants to change up the appearance of the house which she seems to not really be able to afford right now. She keeps hounding me to clean my room which I have done on several occasions and even have cleaned it completely. I’m working on my habits but it takes a while. Sometimes I’m tired from working all day and I just change and throw my clothes on the floor (or in a basket if I have one) and then I like relax and talk to my partner. She wants me to clean it up again right now, even though she saw when I completely and totally cleaned my whole room and was like “awesome”, then a few days later “I’ve asked you for more than a month to clean your room” when I quite literally did so. And she’s threatening to donate all of my stuff next weekend which just pushes me further to leaving and moving out with my partner which won’t be able to happen for a while so I’m stuck. She treats me like a tenant. I’m 19 and I get I just turned 19, I’m trying my best to be as adult as I can be about the situation but it’s also like- idk I don’t mind cleaning but also it’s so much.

Ok, so I (35F) have a daughter (16F) with Major Depressive Disorder. She recently did a stint in the psych ward for suicidal thoughts with a plan to execute. She has a history of self harm and emotional outbursts. She is currently in counseling, on medications. We've had her tested for ADHD and Autism as well. I'm including this info because 90% of advice on here in regards to teens ends up airing on the mental health side of things and I want to reassure everyone we've covered our bases there.

A big factor at play here is generational poverty. My father was born poor. I was born poor. My daughter was born poor. We aren't well off at all but my husband (her step-dad) and I are just BARELY above the paycheck to paycheck line. We live in a piss poor rural town with nothing to do and we can't exactly afford to move. The town itself is very racist and homophobic as a whole and my daughter is a part of the LGBTQ+ community so that's rough on her.

Another important factor at play is that she stays informed. She knows the world is shit. She knows war is hell. She knows inflation is killing people. She knows that everyone is struggling. Lol, she knows the government can rush a tiktok ban but can't solve homelessness. She's watched my husband and I lose our health insurance. She's seen us barely fill a cart with "staple" groceries and she's cursed at checkout over some sandwich fixings, cereal, and ingredients for ONE meal for the three of us being $150. She's witnessed me counting change to fill my gas tank so I can get to work.

Point being in saying all this, she's got mental health issues and she knows the world is a dumpster fire. All that being said...

I CANNOT for the life of me get her to give a shit anymore. Not about school. Not about health. Nothing. And I get it, especially for a teenager today, the future is bleak. But she's failing four classes which puts her at risk for repeating a grade and she DOESN'T care because "what good is an education in this economy." She was JUST diagnosed with PCOS and her insulin levels were WAY high and when the doctor mentioned eating healthier and exercising more she just laughed and said "why though." Doctor says "for your health" and my kid just looks at me and says "funny thing to say to a suicidal person."

She's literally brushing everything off as "I'd rather be dead than be here" in an attempted humorous way, but god damn it... What am I supposed to do? I've tried having heart to hearts with her. I've tried telling her that her generation can change things. I've tried sharing more positive and hopeful news with her regularly. I've tried everything and nothing sticks. I've got teachers hounding me about her grades. I've tried helping her study. I remind her to do the work. We tried grounding, we've tried revoking privileges. I've literally told multiple people at the school "I've done everything short of beating her and I WONT do that." And with the health stuff I've literally told her I wouldn't be able to handle it if she died. I've explained that diabetes runs in the family. Heart problems too. I've begged her to take care of herself more, to care more. I've offered to take her hiking with me, encourage her to help with yard work. I occasionally burst into her room and just shout "GET UP! LETS MOVE!" and have made her walk a few laps around the house...

Bottom line... Nothing works and I don't know how to make someone love life in this day and age. What do I do here?

I do Ariel silks and Lyra and have a background in gymnastics which means I have very strong muscular arms while having a slim body. I feel my arms do not match my body at all and I wouldn’t like them to be smaller while still maintaining the strength I need to do Ariel how do I do this?

Hello everyone. I am a 15M and I am thinking about asking a girl out to get lunch next week. 1 - What do I do if she laughs in my face. 2 - How do I keep a conversation going and find topics. She went to Australia for a year so I am going to ask about that. 3 - What kind of food should I get, or should I let her pick? Any help is greatly apreciated.

I am a 23 year old college dropout. I am in constant chronic pain and have vision problems that aren’t fixable with glasses. The pain is not likely to go away either.

I look incredibly ugly and most dating I’ve seen from friends who are in relationships together is done (initially at least) through online dating apps, which are very appearance based. I know that there are people who have found someone to be with while not being good looking through personality alone, but in my experience it takes charisma and an extroverted personality that I don’t have to make up for being very well below average, and it’s a terrible feeling when you hear the “it’s alright you’ll find someone” from someone who clearly isn’t 1/10 unattractive. Either way the odds aren’t in my favor; no one wants to date a college dropout who works a dead-end job at McDonald’s.

I’ve been going to classes at a community college on the side but I’ve routinely failed there as well. I have friends but they’ve all moved on with their lives. They are advancing their careers and have a ton of new friends in the different places they are at. We check in occasionally every few years but I hide the fact that I have failed. Making new friends has been much more difficult. I think it might be because I am not near enough people my age. Everyone working in fast food or grocery stores are either in high school or aged 40+, and it’s hard to relate to either group.

I am mildly paranoid when in public because the way my eyes are (from the vision disorder and how my eyes focus) it looks to other people like I am staring at them when I am not. I am a suspicious looking person so it puts people on edge. It’s hard to explain but people will stare at suspicious looking people with an almost passive aggressive kind of look. I’d say I could just ignore it but it happens whenever I look in someone’s general direction. Even people I’m with in more laid back situations where they know who I am or why I am speaking to them (like a store employee or an acquaintance) will look at me because they think I am looking at them instead of the area around or next to them (in these situations its usually just people mistakenly thinking I have something to say to them so it isn’t as big of a deal but it still hurts that it is near constant and not ‘just me being nervous’).

I’ve been living with parents in almost complete isolation for a long time but will be moving out in the next 1-3 months. I don’t know where I’ll go but I am going somewhere.

I made this post to ask how to find purpose in life, since my life has none. I’d even ask a therapist at this point but they are too expensive and the two I went to a while ago never helped much. I had things I wanted to do but I failed to realize these goals time and time again. I really don’t have anything I want to do or anything I want to be. No matter what I do I will always be in pain and probably won’t have a relationship or a group of friends. There’s really no sense of community where I’m from either, but I doubt that would change wherever I went since people like me are what people think of when you see those “neighborhood/ community watch” signs everywhere.

I’m sorry if it’s open ended. There really isn’t any specificity in my life. Any advice you have would be appreciated, whatever it is.