I have been with my new partner for a year now. I have been living with her an hour away from my kids until I got my payout from my ex. I have just bought a property near the kids school/friends etc. which is 100% the right decision as when I have them 2 nights a week, 1 hour school runs aren’t fair and not being able to see their mates.

My new partner wants to start a family with me and I do with her eventually which would mean getting a joint house. Her job means she can’t live near my kids. I can work from anywhere.

My kids are nearly 12, and the other 13.

We are going to live between 2 houses, going to my house near the kids when I have them.

Do you think this is a fair set up? What age do you think my kids become dependant so I can move that little further away?

How do I co parent with someone who doesn’t even try ? I know he is always working but dang he sees the kids once a month and he doesn’t help me with them financially and he’s about to have another baby he got a girl pregnant 6 months after we broke up so that was a heartbreak in itself.

What would you do from the start?

What's the best thing you did for splitting time between houses for your kids?

What are the things you do to make it easy for your kid/s?

Best book/advice guide?

I've just separated from my cheating spouse with a 5 month old. I'm scared of ruining my kids life with dysfunctional back and forth parenting. I hate that he will never have both parents under the same room.

Please guide me and give me hope!

I have two kids 15 and 17 (boys) and co-parenting 50/50 with ex-wife.
It has been a challenging time and I've had to go grey-rock to survive. My Ex wife is incredibly controlling and manipulative (we still haven't sorted the asset split) and this is having an impact I'm sure on our ability to do the best for your kids.

I almost feel like my ex is trying to parent me, manage me. There is absolutely no flexibility. Parents ask me what we are only flying over the whole country for 4 days.... It is is so damn hard to organise anything... and often it ends up in mindless arguments. She acts as if she is the law.

It really saddens me because I know this is scarring the boys... they can feel the heat, the stress; even if it isn't out there. This will affect how they conduct their relationships?

Any tips on how to deal with such a person? What to do to minimise damage to kids?

How to make things easier?

We’re currently in court and coparenting suddenly wants to have our kindergarten aged child 50 percent of time until court makes an order. That said they won’t allow me to talk to child sometimes 6-7 days in a row is this legal?

My ex has had his visits suspended indefinitely due to reported physical abuse.

My kid, who is 4, has mixed feelings. On the one hand, he wants to go because he has fun and the abuse doesn’t happen every time, but on the other, he wants the abuse to stop and is also scared of the repercussions of speaking up.

How do I help him cope with this? I’ve tried to explain that my ex just has a lot going on in his head right now and the people we spoke to decided he needed a bit of a “time out” but he doesn’t quite get it.

Going to try making this as short as possible

Ex and I split back in June. Since then we’ve been splitting time with our child 50/50, agreed upon us, no court order.

About a month after our split, she started seeing someone else and even moved in with him. That ends after 2 months, and she’s now in a position where she can’t afford to live alone

She has no family, and really no friends in the state we live in. Bc of that, she decided she should move in with her grandma who is out of state, 4 hours away. So now, twice a week, I’m having to drive to and from our drop off location, 4 hour round trip, to continue the 50/50 we agreed upon. This has been going on for a month

My concern is that in the future she won’t want to come back to the state we had our daughter in and have been living in this whole time, then leaving me in what I imagine would be a bad position. Thoughts?

Long story short: my fathers son will be out of jail in February after being there for 3 years. Mind you my son is 3 years old and he has never felt his father hug him, nor does he know who he is. He never called for his birthdays (maybe once, but on the wrong date) and when he would call me during the first two years, the calls seemed aimed at keeping some kind of relationship with me, and not really with his son. The last year I completely ignored his calls and haven’t spoken to him. I know he’s going to want to see his son and have some kind of relationship when he’s out. However, I want to leave everything that I went through with him in the past. I don’t want to carry the load of having a problematic person like him around for the rest of my life. I probably should of thought of that before, but I’m a much different person now. I’m graduating next year with my dual major BA, I started a career in interpreting and I work in the courts, and after three years of having a resentful heart towards men, I feel a strong spark and attraction for someone that is academic, handsome, and inspiring. I’m starting to feel like the spark is mutual. I would like to have the family I always dreamed of without sharing my son. The only problem is, idk what’s best for my son. Should he be able to meet us convicted felon father, or should I just let him continue living without a dad, until some day I can meet a man who is willing to live both of us? His father’s family has helped me buy diapers for my son these three years and they have invited me over when the kids have birthday parties, but this is only like once every 3 or 4 months. I feel indebted to them, they are great people and hold great get togethers, it’s only his dad that is a major POS. Any advice!?! I never thought I’d be typing these words.

DL:DR Would you let your son have a relationship with his convicted felon dad?

My ex and I get along well most of the time. We have entered a new phase of life with an 18 yo and a 16 yo who switch houses each week. (18 yo is away at college now, but will return for breaks.)

Both kids have expressed wanting to stay at my house most of the time now. Their reasons are generally practical - their friends are on this side of town, their jobs, their school. The 16 yo couldn’t choose this for herself yet, and years ago she asked if we could do two weeks before at each house as switching gets tiring sometimes. My ex would not accept the switch at the time.

But now the 18 yo could choose this for herself, and wants to figure out how to best to talk to ex about it. We know this will hurt my ex’s heart. She will see it as them choosing me over her. Has anyone gone through this - as a kid or as a parent with their adult kids? Do you have any advice?

A) Mom takes vacation, starting on December the 20th (Friday) and goes through the 27th (Friday). In between, she drops off her son at dads house at 12pm on Xmas day (Wednesday) to only pick him back up on Thursday at 6pm which then he gets dropped back off again Friday at 4pm since dad has weekends. Dad takes his vacation the rest of the year (27th through January 1st, which is only 5 days of 7 days he can use for a vacation, but can’t use those other 2 days on a different schedule per the custody order)

Or

B) mom takes vacation on December 18th (Thursday), son still goes to preschool on Thursday and Friday) but her week ends on the 25th. She drops him off with dad and dad uses his vacation from the 25th thru the 1st.

Context, I am dad, I have weekends from Friday night through Monday morning, and his mom wants to do the first schedule, but I suggested the second schedule. Every time I mention why the second would be more efficient, she makes an excuse/reason why she wants to keep to the first schedule. She’s mentioned she doesn’t wanna take vacation during the last 2 school days of the year (he’s in PreK, goes 9-2:30pm, gets out at 12pm on Friday for early dismissal), and she says our son misses her fiancé, and would be time for them to see each other, despite the fact her fiancé lives at their house and goes to church with them on Sundays. I know a step-parent can be a positive thing, but I feel there it is to an extent, which I feel this is the extent.

I can’t take off the week before Xmas tho because my line of work, I have my inventory on the 13th of December, which my company holds back some massive amount of pallets that are to come in, just to keep the inventory as easy as possible, and then after inventory, I get slammed with receivings the following week. But my job (for once) is closing down on Xmas through the new years, and I still had a weeks worth of vacation to use, mentioned to her I was thinking of taking it during the holidays, since I have the latter portion of Xmas, and New Year’s Day coming up, why not just make it a vacation? And then she wants to say her schedule is the one she wants to go with.

We can’t come to an agreement/compromise here and I don’t know how I should proceed. Should I just suck it up since she just won’t budge and keeps bringing up excuses, basically making it about her, not seeing that her schedule has our son going back and forth in 4 days?

I have always wanted to work with my coparent and I keep getting frustrated with the lack of consideration. How was it for you to make peace with it and what coping skills had to be put in place to keep your sanity and not be left feeling frustrated. Thanks in advance

So my ex (custodial parent) checks the kids out of school early whenever she feels like it to go hundreds of miles away to her boyfriend’s house during school breaks. If i ask to check the kids out early when we’re going on vacation it’s always “no” and ends up being a 2 week long fight. If i just check them out are there any consequences? For instance if my time starts at 6pm and I check them out at 9am that day what’s the worst case scenario?

Hello, I’ve (28f) been coparenting with my ex (26m) for 6 years now. It’s been a rough go but we finally have been making it work,until recently. Our child goes one week on one week off between parents homes. We’ve been communicating well the past 2 years and all the sudden he’s very confrontational. From my knowledge he needs to move from his current home and having problems with work.

My 8 year old developed lice while at his place. I’ve never had it before so I had to ask him to keep them for an extra 24hrs to make sure the live ones were at least dead. I was informed the day of pick up. Of course he was upset and telling me I’m making our child feel bad by saying I don’t want them with lice. I faced time my child and they seemed to understand staying the extra 24hrs. I picked them up the next day I checked their hair every single day to ensure that there wasn’t anymore. The week went great and off I sent them back for their week with dad.

At drop off Dad informed me that our child doesn’t like my cooking or meal choices, that I baby them too much and they aren’t independent enough. I was taking back since our week seemed fine and they didn’t mention anything of the sort to me. Why did he only tell me at drop off when the week was done? I tried not to take it personally. A few days later I found out our child will be switching schools because they are no longer in the boundary. (I haven’t been in the boundary for years but always drove them to school no problem). Of course this was upsetting news and I wanted to comforted our child. I face time them before school the next day and ask how they were feeling about it and what not. I later get a nasty message saying I’m not allowed to interfere with his parenting time and it was disrespectful to call before school. That I forced them to call me which is untrue. I messaged them saying they can call me if they want it was up to them. He then proceeds to say I’m making this a bigger deal than it has to be. I try to ignore him but obviously I know my child is upset.

I pick up my child for the week and everything seems fine. I was told they weren’t checking for lice anymore and they think everything was okay. I picked out better meals that I think they might like. It seemed like a great week with no issues. Dropped them off and Dad seemed fine. 4 days later I get a message that they have lice again. I was surprised because I haven’t noticed anything. I also get a text that my child doesn’t want to come back to my house because they are mad I haven’t been checking for lice to nip this in the bud sooner. I was completely taking back by this. Why are they mad at me when clearly my ex wasn’t checking either. It took them 4 days to noticed something? My child and I have a great relationship. We talk all the time and they tell me all kinds of things like school drama or crushes etc. I’m a pretty easy going parent and hardly get mad. They love their stepdad too so I’m at a complete loss why they would say this. But at the same time I don’t feel like it’s something would say but rather my ex amplifying things. I told my ex I will be picking them up at my schedule time and the 3 of us will be having a discussion about the situation.

Sorry for the long post. I honestly don’t know what to do and I feel really alone and confused about what’s going on.

My high school senior turned 18, and my ex, his mother, is moving across the country for work. Very reasonably on his part, he wants to stay with me, finish high school here.

I realize that since he’s 18, she has no legal obligation to contribute, but I’m still going to ask her to help out. What’s a reasonable amount to ask for? Any variables to consider would be appreciated. Thanks!

Hello! I have a quick question:

Am I obligated to send my 9 year old daughter on an unaccompanied minor flight? I live in Texas, and her father wants her to fly to Colorado to him for the holidays. He bought tickets (without my consent) for her to fly from where I live, to Dallas Tx (connecting flight), and then fly on another plane to Colorado. He did get the Unaccompanied minor package, where I read is somewhat safe, and a very regular thing to do.

My issue is that with how bad child trafficking has gotten, and the fact that she is not on a direct flight to him, she could be in danger. Perhaps the flight from Dallas to Colorado is delayed due to unforeseen circumstances. She could possibly end up having to stay at the Airport alone, or at a hotel alone. (We have no one in Dallas.)

His mother offered me to fly with her, as she is going aswell. She was originally going to take a bus over there, but then she heard she was travelling on the plane alone. She contacted me about it, and I offered to pay the difference for her to travel on the plane with my daughter instead of the bus. We both agreed this was for the best, as my daughter would be safer, and I would have peace of mind. I ran this by my ex, and he went ballistic about it. He stated that I had no right to interfere with his plans. (He would be saving money on the unaccompanied minor program.)

I want to know if I could be held in contempt for not sending my daughter on the unaccompanied flights, or what would be my consequences for simply not sending her?

My child is almost 2 and is a mama’s girl, which is normal. She wants me all the time but she spends about 2-3 days a week with Dad. Do you think it’s better for her to switch parents by:

1. Me dropping her off at her dad’s.
2. Him to pick her up from my house.
3. Him to pick her up from daycare.

I personally think it’s best for him to pick her up from daycare and for me to not be there at all because it just makes it harder on her to leave mommy. But I want others opinions. I hope this is an appropriate post for this sub. Lmk if not. Thanks!

I have a 5 month old boy with my ex partner who is extremely abusive. We are currently co parenting and I am getting access so I have no complaints in that department. However, on the days I have my boy I am subjected to abusive text messages, false accusations such as feeding him solids, constant messages asking what we are doing and pics of proof, and if I do not respond instantly she threatens to call the police and report kidnap. I have a large collection of these text messages saved, but I am at a loss as to what to do? We have tried to go through a third party and she ended up abusing me through them, it is not working doing it between us so where do I go from here? I am getting the access but I am struggling to cope with the abuse and it is effecting my mental well-being. Advice?

What do you call the other parent, when speaking to the other parent, but in front of the kid? For example, during an exchange, it is polite to give a basic greeting to the other parent, such as "Hello, [name]!" But do you call them with the name the child calls them (Dad, Mom, Daddy, Mama, etc), with their first name, or something different?

Example: "Hello [child's name]! Hello, Dad!"

Hi everyone,

I could use some advice about a big life event and how to handle it thoughtfully for my son. My girlfriend just got engaged over the weekend. With my son visiting for the holidays, I want to make sure I approach sharing this news with him in the best way possible.

Since this will inevitably impact his life, I’m trying to figure out how to explain it in a way he’ll understand and feel comfortable with. He has always had a great relationship with my fiancée and she’s always shown him love to where he’s very comfortable around her. Does anyone have tips or recommendations for framing this type of conversation with a child his age?

Additionally, I’m wondering about the best way to involve or inform my son’s mom in this situation. Does she have to know? I’m sure she’ll find out at some point and although I don’t feel she’d ever share the news with me should she ever get engaged, because this news will impact our son I feel it’s only right I share the news with her and it’s only fair to let his mom know about the engagement before he shares the news with her himself. I want to keep our coparenting relationship respectful and prioritize my son’s well-being.

If you’ve been in a similar situation or have any advice, I’d really appreciate it!

Thanks in advance! 🙏🏽

My STBX is divorcing me based on her belief that I have untreated bipolar disorder. She’s also used this claim in an attempt to gain 100% custody of our daughter, though that effort was unsuccessful. The truth is, I do not have bipolar disorder. I’ve consulted multiple mental health professionals, all of whom have confirmed this.

Her reasoning for perpetuating this narrative is completely absurd. For instance, she claims I must have a mental health disorder simply because I enjoy taking morning walks. It’s clear she’s deeply invested in framing herself as the victim, rather than taking accountability for her role in the breakdown of our family.

The bigger issue is her insistence on controlling both our daughter and the narrative surrounding our situation. She’s extremely defensive and unwilling to consider alternative perspectives, which has made co-parenting unnecessarily hostile. For example, instead of a straightforward curbside drop-off for our daughter, she insists on meeting in a park at night for exchanges. This is inconvenient and disruptive for our daughter, as it forces her to get in and out of cars twice as much. Her reasoning? Safety—despite the fact that there has been no history of abuse or even significant conflict during our relationship.

I’m at a loss for how to calm things down and create a co-parenting dynamic that’s even remotely productive. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? How did you manage to move forward?

Stepdad and mom are being investigated by CPS based on a report I made on accident. My 13M came to my house with lots of scratches and bruises on his arm. He said it was due to punishment given by dad, but mom stopped it. Later in the week, I talked to my therapist about it and he filed a report.

The CPS report was anonymous and they don't believe I didn't do it. They have been bullying me to stop the investigation because he is "lying and it was all an accident and they apologized". CPS wants my kid to talk to a medical forensic doctor due to differences in the story. I'm torn because I want answers and the paper trail, but I also want it to go away. This is taking an already contentious relationship and making it worse. It's also causing a lot of anxiety for me.

The kid wants to go through it, but is struggling with anxiety around it as well.

Should I drop the investigation or let my kid go through the forensic exam and let it play out?

Edit: thanks everyone for your input! It helped to convince me I’m ok, especially the comments about being my son’s advocate. I had a visit with my therapist yesterday and she pretty much agreed with everything here. She also reminded me that I’m a people pleaser and don’t like conflict. In this case, I have to be uncomfortable, but don’t engage with them. Let everything play out.

My spouse read this and complained I left out the spicy details and that Reddit loves spicy details. They’ve been great at reminding me that I didn’t do anything wrong and in a lot of ways, stepparent is verbally abusive towards me too.

Hey. Does anyone have experince with starting a new family, new wife a baby on the way and 2 kids with previous relationship and sharing 50/50 custody. Does it make it harder for the new family? Trying my best to keep the 50/50 even tho the distance is quite far about 60km with their mother and 2 different daycare makes kids life quite harder. Anyway after less than 2y my son will start school it has to be only one school and its next to their mother so it might be automatically every other weeknd system to put or i move next to my 2 kids and it doesnt sound fair for my new family maybe. And if i see them every other weeknd i feel very guilty and hard to put this system.

Any advices and opinons are very appreciated. Regards from snowy Finland.

I'm a little bit lost right now in how to move forwards. I'll give a brief overview of how we got to this point

- Married in 2018
- Had daughter in 2020
- She withdrew from marriage emotionally through 2021
- Manipulated and gaslit me about colleague
- Was actually having emotional affair with said engaged colleague
- She asked for divorce in January 2024
- I pushed for couples counselling
- She didn't bother making an effort, so we ended it in March 2024
- She immediately shags the engaged work colleague, I find out, she lies to save their jobs and his relationship (Guilt trips me "If you say anything you'll split his family up") etc.
- Continues to lie to me about our relationship, what is happening, refuses to apply for divorce
- I have a bit of a breakdown because I don't know what's what any more due to the gaslighting

We agreed that we would only introduce partners after three months, plus other rules.

I met somebody new. She's wonderful and everything that I didn't realise I was missing, and I am REALLY happy. I feel like I have found my soul mate in a way I never did with my Ex.

I kept her a secret because my Ex is extremely vindictive and tries to mess with my mind at every opportunity. After three months, I soft introduced her to my daughter as a friend and did everything as per our verbal and written (but unsigned) agreement.

Once the house move has gone through a few weeks later I tell my Ex about my new partner, she gives it the "I'm so happy for you" BS that she does to look the better person. Couldn't resist giving it the "You're moving on really quickly, please be careful and don't get hurt" and trying to undermime me in her typical style.

A week later my daughter says that she's going out with her Mum and Dean. Dean is her Mum's new boyfriend that she has known for a few weeks and he's been playing games with my daughter in my Ex's new house because he's been helping her with DIY and the move in process.

Less than 2 weeks and he's playing happy families. She knows nothing about him because they've been dating less than a week. Apparently her instincts told her that was right.

I kick off. This is inappropriate in my book, my Girlfriend doesn't like it, my family don't like it but they say it's tough luck because I can't do anything about it without legal funds, but they are on my side in that they'll find the money to take her away from her Mum if any harm comes to my daughter.

I ask for a bit of respect as I waited 3 months as per our agreement, and she's not even waited 3 weeks. She backs down eventually because I am persistent, and she says "I will limit their contact, I understand why you are concerned"

Well here we are 2 months after the initial argument over the new partner and she says "Sorry I didn't tell you, but my instincts said it was right to tell Bea that Dean is my boyfriend. They've created a lovely little bond"

Umm. Hang on. You agreed to limit their contact and now suddenly they've spent enough time together to create a bond, and she's been dating the guy 2 months?

Now, her gut told her that she should lie to me about another man messaging her sexually.

Her gut told her that she should meet with a work colleague for a dirty weekend despite it risking her job, his job, his relationship with his partner and his 3 year old daughter, plus permanently damage my relationship with my daughter's mum.

He gut told her that she should then lie, and when I begged for the truth during a breakdown her instinct said lie again. Then continue lying.

Her instinct said let a stranger play with our daughter after less than a week of knowing him.

I feel like I am going insane in how every time I question this and say "What about my rights as a parent and our agreements?" I get the response of "You did it your way, I am doing it my way"

Now, this is the woman that when a bucket of sand was going to land on our daughters head she jumped back and my daughter took a face full of it, whilst last time my daughter was going to get hurt I dived on a solid floor to stop her falling.

I'm by no means a perfect person, but I can tell you now that I always put my child's happiness and safety over my own.

Am I wrong to feel like I should have a say and that it's wrong for her to disrespect me constantly?

What sorry of budget do you do for Christmas presents from your small but opinionated child to your coparent and former in-laws? I know there is very little chance i will get anything unless my daughter bullies her other parent or my former in-laws into taking her shopping, but i also know she’ll be sad if she corny have anything to give them when they give her presents at their Christmas at the former in-laws house. This is our first Christmas separated. I don’t know if i should insist she stick to cheap things, or let her pick out things that are actually nice? She’s five and has strong opinions and actually knows my ex and ex-in-laws taste preferences pretty well for like, jewelry or decor items.

She is seven, and occasionally struggles with her almost non-existent relationship with her father. For context, two months from our wedding and I pregnant with her, I found out I was about to be wife number 5 - not wife number 2 like he had claimed. I also found he'd been trying to hide a massive drinking problem while he was at work.

He also was cheating on me with I'm not sure how many other people. He ended up marrying one of the people he was cheating witn a couple months after our sweet daughter was born.

He left the state and moved 2000 miles away when she was around 2. Not too long after that, he moved somewhat closer to home and strong armed me into moving closer to him, which it was a nice area and had a lot going for it so I agreed.

He moved to the other side of the country a year after that. So that would be the third time he abandoned her. He constantly bails on the plans he makes to see her, and often months goes by and he doesn't see her. He sends a bland, short FaceTime every once in awhile. He's gone so far as to tell her he will be there on said day at said time, only to literally not show up, and a text to me in the middle of the night saying the plan is off. When these things happen she will say it's the most painful thing that has happened to her.

In the time she has spent with her, he "pawns her off" on the step mom and other people, and frankly she hardly knows him. She mentions this frequently.

He's even gotten into such a big fight one the rare blue moon she's been in his company, that he LEFT in the middle of the night. Then the wife corned my daughter and made her promise not to tell me.

"All dad does is sit on the couch and watch tv. Him and (step mom) scream at each other all the time and it scares me."

"He never wants to spend time with me"

"He never wants to talk to me"

"He never wants to play with me"

"He's boring"

"Why isn't he like Grampy and fun?"

The list goes on. I'm not one to alienate and I'm not one to bash him. We all have our problems. But after years of never choosing her, blowing off plans, and her getting older and noticing he's an uninvolved sack of potatoes, she has questions. He kinda treats everyone like that, not just her. She knows that too. It's not personal.

So I make her feel better by making her laugh about it, and explaining things in terms I think she can still feel comfortable with. I just tell her "he's always been not that fun of a person", or "he's just kind of a dud in the 'fun' and 'time spent department'. He shows he cares by supporting a lot of our life and things we have. He is the reason I got to stay home and have fun with you for so many years." She laughs; she feels better, she's at peace. It's not personal, he just doesn't have that club in the bag.

And that is the god honest truth. He really just has no good sense of closeness and that connection kids. But it also dawned on me that when I say these things, it's bashing his character to agree he is boring and also a dud as far as closeness and fun goes.

I'm really trying my best here. Yeah she's done therapy but it's mostly the same thing I'm doing. Plus I'm not one to think dwelling on problems is the best solution.

Can someone help me out with this? Someone who grew up with similar? Someone who made it out to the other side with a winning hand? Thank you in advance. I have always been close to my dad so this is all so new to me.

Recently, things have become very strained with my coparent. I even struggle to call him that, because we identify more as parallel parents. Our eldest daughter is 12 and she very much knows how to play us against each other, tell half truths and exaggerated stories to make things work to her advantage. We split our time 70/30, and I am the primary parent.

For context, my ex husband started dating the Mum of our daughter’s best friend shortly after we split. My daughter obviously thinks this is great as she gets to spend every waking minute with her best friend when she is at her dad’s house. However, she also thinks that this should transfer to when she’s with me, and she has started bringing her friend home after school for dinner, and they don’t part ways until 8.30pm. I suggested she stop doing this as the codependency they have for eachother is unhealthy in my opinion, and I believe my daughter should be able to spend at least an hour in her own company. Coupled with the fact that I can’t financially commit to having an extra mouth to feed every day of the week.

After a string of bad behaviour over the weekend (unrelated to the friend), my daughter was told to come straight home after school on her own, and she would be staying in for the evening because her behaviour had been unacceptable and disrespectful. However, she did not come home after school. She and her friend decided they would go to her dad’s and she messaged me telling me that he said it was ok that they stayed the night there. I told her absolutely not because 1. It’s not on her dad’s time, so he can’t be making the decisions, and 2. She can’t go behind my back to get out of facing the consequences of her own actions. So I told her I’d be coming to pick her up and she would be coming home. When I checked the tracker to confirm she was still there, I noticed that she was then at her best friends house, I.e. her dads girlfriends house. I called her and questioned why she would be there when she was told to come home, and she said her dad had taken her there instead of dropping her off home because that’s where they planned on staying. Again, she was told to come home immediately. This is when her dad messaged me to say that she was crying, she didn’t want to come home and that he was keeping her overnight. After a lot of back and forth with him, she finally came home, but her dad and I continued arguing via text for the rest of the evening. He thinks we need to reevaluate our coparenting situation as our daughter isn’t happy in my care (his words, not hers).

I am sick and tired of dealing with his hero complex and him inserting himself in situations that do not concern him. It’s not his place to devalue my rules and boundaries that I enforce while our daughter is with me. I don’t do anything like that while she is in his care. If she has a problem with his parenting, which she often does, I advise her to deal with her dad directly. It’s not my place to save the day in order to make myself look better. I really want to point this all out to my ex but not sure how to approach it in a non confrontational way. We don’t have a court order in place for our childcare arrangements, and I am not interested in pursuing it legally.

We've been divorced and coparenting for 3 years and share 3 kids in preteen and teen years. The first year of coparenting ex seemed to have exhausted himself trying to be super dad. It was mildly annoying, mostly just because it was obvious he was trying to buy their love, but whatever it wasn't hurting them. Year 2 he would swing (quite wildly) between super dad and dropping off the face of the earth, unreachable at times, promising the kids the world and then not following through. Now on the end of year three and he has seemingly just completely stopped caring at all. Kids games, school, medical...nothing. I had stopped reaching out to give a heads up last year because he mostly just wouldn't respond anyway.

Coparenting has been a frustrating "journey" so most of my emotions about all this has been mostly frustration and some quiet anger. But now that he clearly couldn't possibly care less about anything it just makes me sad, and I am feeling caught off guard by being sad about it. Our kids are really doing well in the sports, and are really maturing into awesome people and he just doesn't want to be bothered. I'm just so...disappointed?

How do I move passed feeling so disappointed in someone that I have long stopped caring about? How do I just emotionally let it go that this is what he choosing?

I dated this gal for just over a year. She has 2 kids, boys, aged 17 & 18. Their bio father has never been in the picture as she was divorced when the kids were toddlers. Anyway, I got real close with the kids. We did all kinds of 'guy' things such as sports games, working on cars, going on vacations, etc. Me and their mom ended up breaking up. It was not any type of serious break up the relationship was just not working out and the sparks were not there. But we are still civil/friendly with each other. Although now we never really talk.

I'm still close with the kids. We still chat on the phone, they let me know they are safe and doing ok, and we still do the guy stuff on weekends. While I'm no longer in a romantic relationship with the mom, my relationship with the kids has not changed. Their mom is ok with it.

I never thought of anything of it. Just life as usual. But friends and family are telling me this is "weird" and I should have immediately ceased any and all contact with the kids when I broke up with the mom. I don't agree or even understand this. But everyone I know was telling me this is not normal. It's not like the kids are 5 years old and mom is ok with it and the kids are close with me and reach out to me all the time.

Looking to see what opinions are on this situation.

My childs father and I broke up about a year and a half ago. Things were MESSY for the first year and it felt like I was in living hell. He has called me every name under the sun, called me a terrible mother, made horrible comments about every one of my family members and friends… you get the picture.

We finally got custody issues settled and have gotten into a fairly stable routine. The past few months its like a switch flipped and now he is remorseful about everything. Saying he’s so sorry about everything he did, that he only said those things to hurt me and that he has “changed” lol. I’ve made it clear many times that I have no interest in getting back together or having any kind of romantic relationship. He tries to guilt me by saying “it doesn’t have to be this hard, we can be a family again, our child deserved both parents in the home” etc. I already feel guilty enough that my child has to go back and forth between homes so those comments are like rubbing salt in an open wound.

Lately he has even made inappropriate comments to me such as “you look pretty today, i’d d*ck you down” and it grosses me out EVERY time. I tell him to stop but he makes these comments anyway. Any advice on how to deal with this?? The past year and a half has been so insane for me and I feel like I can’t get my head together with all this craziness.

I can't help but feel frustrated. My daughters (I have two) birthdays were to be split when it came to hosting and finances, to make it better on both parties. There was always a nasty trend I noticed when it came to her hosting. She was always last minute, nothing was ever planned properly so no one would come to that Child's birthday. Meanwhile the one I would host, had tons of guest for them.

For me in that case it's less about the money and more about making sure both have the same quality of birthday. Why should one suffer for a parents short coming.

Which comes to my frustration, I always ask well in advance what's shes planning for the birthday and she never has anything planned. I asked her if she wanted me to host it at the house which she replied yes. I've already sent out invites, have the food ready, events prepared. Why does it irritate me so much that she doesn't offer to help, or help pay for anything when it's suppose to be her birthday to financially bare. I can almost guarantee that she will flip it some how to make it my fault. I know as parents we have to choose our battles. So does anyone have pointers as to how to not resent or block it out?