I have been divorced for ten years. I have three teenagers: my youngest will be 16 next month, and I have a 17 and 19 year old.

We have not been back to court since we originally divorced. We have maintained a relatively amicable relationship and have managed for the last decade to keep things civil.

It astounds me that I am considering this step right now, given the above.

My ex is quite involved, he just happens to be involved in a destructive way:

• his style of advice-giving has been harsh all their lives. Part of the reason I divorced him was because of his demeaning nature; when I left, our kids were quite young and he hadn’t displayed that level of belittling towards them at all. Once I left and he was responsible for them during his time with them, his controlling and demeaning tendencies became evident to them. They started refusing to spend as much time with him not long after the divorce.
• I have spent tons of energy trying to foster a positive relationship. Meanwhile, dad has lied to them and manipulated them in order to get them to “learn a lesson”, and he frequently insists that allowing them decision-making control is giving them too much power.
• he is remarried, and his wife has four children. She seems nice enough, but interesting to note that of her four children; three are adults and out of the house, and none of them have a relationship with her or their stepdad. My kids are very close with their step-siblings; the youngest is 17, plans to graduate high school early, and also vows to have no relationship with them once he is out. I don’t know how much that actually matters, but this is literally a 7 out of 7 situation: 100% of these kids say they intend to cut my ex and his wife out of their lives; the 4 that are adults have actually done it.
• meanwhile, my relationship with my kids is very good; they are good kids. They are not perfect, but they are respectful, they do what I ask of them, they don’t cause trouble or act out. My 17 year old is not a very motivated student, and gets Bs and Cs when he should fly through school with his gifted mind. (This is a major point of contention with my ex, and proof in his mind that I am too soft.)

This is already getting to be too long, but long story short, he has escalated some situations lately that are starting to frighten me. I think that as the kids get older and he actually sees them making good on their promises to cut him out, he gets desperate and tries whatever he can to control things. In the last month, he has:

• scheduled a meeting with the principal of my 17 year old’s school to discuss his schoolwork, without telling either me or my son. This caused a major blowup and my son is furious about it.
• told my daughter to ask me about a particularly traumatic time in my teenage years, because he thought it would help her understand why I am damaged and why he doesn’t trust me as a parent.

My kids and I are full of anxiety over his next steps, and thus I think I have to go to court.

Just looking for any advice. I’m scared of this route, my ex is known to act like a bully when he’s mad; how should I prepare myself for court?

I am currently in a custody battle with my ex boyfriend for our 6 year old daughter. I have been the custodial parent since she was born. No child support, dad and I have worked very well together over the last 6 years. Our 6 year old started realizing she was going back and forth but her friends don’t. She doesn’t like it. She’s told me she wants to just be with me and cry’s when she has to go to her dad’s. Well insert my own mother. She is a drug addict. She’s been clean from alcohol for 20 years but drugs lol. She is also diagnosed bipolar. By doctors request I had to sign my mother over to the state when I was 19 because she was in psychosis. She’s been better but I keep her at a distance. Under my supervision I let her see my kids. After our last visit she told me my 6 year old daughter abused her. My 6 year old daughter was sick because all my mother fed her was candy, then completely shamed her. I saw the same behavior she had towards me as a child, towards my daughter and I said that is it. Well. 2 months later I get served on a Saturday. Emergency hearing that Wednesday. Monday was a holiday. I had Tuesday to find and retain a lawyer. My lawyer had a trial the day we had an emergency hearing. I had a representative who knew knew nothing because I had literally hours to find a lawyer. I was emotionally distressed bc my daughter who I have always had full custody of was now being withheld from me. Why you might ask, my mother is my exs witness. She diagnosed bipolar, and an addict is saying I am an alcoholic, I have mental illnesses, etc. I don’t even let my daughter eat red dye 40. I got put on supervised visitation because my lawyer and I had no time to defend me. I couldn’t stop crying enough to speak my case. My judge and GAL have no issue with me now, but ex promised my mother she will have access to my child. My lawyer and I have no issue disproving her. I know our judge doesn’t like a lot of back stories, just the facts. I’m pretty sure we have enough for a no contact with my daughter on my side and her father’s side, but what does a court need to have to have that set in stone. I have my child hood, about 10 witnesses, and her behavior on my side. But I know they want facts. I don’t care if my ex and I end up with split custody. He’s a good dad and she loves him. I just want that snake as far away from her as possible.

Need to add but it won’t let me go back and add this in. I have a 2 year old in my current relationship. My mother doesn’t care about seeing her and she’s not involved in this at all. Just my 6 year old. Which makes me even more unsettled

Long story short… after a year of being broken up, my ex and I are trying to reconcile. We want to take things really slow & not involve the kids for a while. So far it’s going SO well and we have really learned how to resolve conflict between us and have some very open conversations that we were not able to have before. We have both put a lot of work into bettering ourselves & I feel so hopeful. BUT, I would still like to have a custody order in place just in case.. mediation was rescheduled for February, but we have a temporary order hearing in 2 weeks. So we’d like to come to an agreement on something before that so we don’t have to think about it anymore. we have a 6 month old that I breastfeed & I am able to pump enough for her to be away from me occasionally. Neither of us want her to have formula to supplement & I’ve tried really hard to boost my supply, but it is what it is. Anyway, along with that he said he doesn’t think he could do consistent overnights with her at this age because of the frequent waking. So it works out. Where we’re having trouble coming up with a parenting plan is… he would like “access” to the kids from 2 PM Tuesday to 2 PM Friday every week. Mostly in my home, but occasionally take them to do things with his family or alone time with him. & I am fine with that because that’s what we’ve been doing so far anyway. My concern is that if things do not work out between us (and as sometimes emotionally led humans) I don’t want him to just suddenly decide that he can take the baby over night because he has “access” during that time and have to switch her to formula during that. But I would like to keep it open to where if I’m able to pump enough sometime (and if he’d like) he could have her overnight… i also don’t want it to be something that we could find other loopholes in it to hurt each other. Not that I think we will… but like I said, sometimes people are emotionally led and we have both made those kinds of decisions in the past. I just don’t know what to do. It’s so complicated. But right now we are on the same page about everything, we just need to get it into writing.

So im 16M and my Aunt has had legal custody of me for around 10 years, now i want her to adopt me and i know that she would but currently in the state of Pennsylvania as i am under guardianship i know i can file for things like the FASFA independently, and i can gain a lot of Financial AID for college. Now does anyone know if that would change if i would go through with full adoption and no longer stand under someone's guardianship

IDK if this is the right sub reddit to ask in it but im really just trying to look for help any is really apricated

Wife agreed to 100% transportation when we got married because I was in the military and wanted to live with me due to her unstable living conditions. I decided to not reenlist so we can move back and be closer to her oldest. She filed to modify the agreement for more time and 50\50 transportation due to us now living 25 minutes away. BD decides to move 6 months later (found out he was moving from child) out of state before we could see a judge. We have been waiting 18 months to see a judge to get this decided because she can’t afford transportation cost. 3 months ago she decided to join the military. She still is hoping to eventually get a court date and get 50/50 transportation cost as she couldn’t afford it when he moved and can’t afford with military pay either as well as produce enough leave time to go get her. What do people with experience in custody think a judge will decide? Is my wife SOL on having a relationship with her daughter because she agreed to 100% transportation cost and pick up/drop off when we got married?

I have a 2 year old who I'm trying to get primary residence of. Currently have a every other weekend court ordered agreement. Was able to get proof that my ex lied under oath at last hearing and appealed the order. My question is I just got a new job where I could be away from home at times. Can a travel job hurt my chances? I have a very close family that could keep him when needed. This job would benefit me and the kiddo in the long run.

Im posting for a friend

She’s currently awaiting a custody battle hearing. Her and father of kid (8) don’t have a court order, he doesn’t have visitation ordered or does he pay CS. He had picked up their kids from school yesterday because she was at an OB appointment that ended up taking too long so she asked him to pick her up and then he asked if she could spend the night to which she agreed. My friend is meant to fly out thanksgiving week to take her other kid (5) to see her dad who lives in FL (is there in military orders). She had asked her dad if he wanted to have her that week so she wouldn’t stay with grandma and she asked to call at least once a day for about 30 minutes if he was comfortable with it and that she’d keep her the weekend to which he agreed. So my friend went to pick her up and he refused to hand her over. She called her lawyer and her lawyer said that he has no physical custody nor does he has visitation set up and if he doesn’t hand her over she could go to the police. Minor does not live with him and he has only seen her 40 times this YEAR. My friend is normally never one to tell him no because the kid is always saying how much she misses her dad but she doesn’t feel comfortable anymore leaving her with him that week. On top of that his mom yelled at her in front of both kids because she was tired of my friends “sh*t” for making things difficult and calling cps on them (for valid reasons). My friend is also pregnant and high risk so she tends to turn a blind eye to avoid stress. Would she be wrong to keep the kid until they go to court? She’s also tried to establish an agreement to which he has ignored and continues to do as he pleases. She’s scared to be seen as conflicting or denying him their kid.

Edit to add: she’d contact her lawyer but by the time she had these thoughts the lawyers office was closed and she’d be gone for vacation. Also his mother had called the cops asking for advice and they told her that my friend had to bring the child back in two days or they would remove her from the home (which we know they can’t do).

My soon to be ex and I were married two decades ago. We have 3 children, 2 are still at home, ages are 16 and 12. I was the primary caregiver for our children until we moved to OR in 2021. We separated in September of 2022.

I moved my things to the garage and that is my room still.

For the first 8 months of our split, things went well. We navigated the holidays together and it seemed like our future as coparents looked good. We continued to have dinner as a family, we went on outings all together and my ex and I were even hanging out together while the kids were in school, we were putting in the effort to keep our family healthy.

We had two sessions of mediation in which we agreed upon 50/50 custody and a number of other terms that we felt were in the best interests of our kids. Our mediator basically gave us gold stars for being so easygoing and willing to compromise. At the end of May 2023, we had a fight. He was upset with me and it affected the friendship we had been keeping. At that time, I asked him if he thought that we needed go to mediation again because our communication was really broken down, he said no.

We received the drafts of our paperwork to review in June, within weeks of having the breakdown, and that is where he stalled things. In September, the mediator reached out to see if there was anything we needed to go over, but no more momentum was gained.

In the months following the argument, he took steps to remove my influence in our children's lives. For example, we had all been a "family" on our devices so if one of the kids asked for more time on an app or wanted to download something, either one of us could approve/deny the request. We could also each see each of the children's location. He purchased new phones for our two youngest children and made them new accounts so that I no longer got a say in their phone usage and cannot see their locations.

That is just one example, I have many more.

Late last year I was getting ready to make good on the things we'd discussed in mediation, that's when he told me that our kids don't want to live with me at all and that basically everything we'd agreed to was not happening.

This was further hammered in bv a familv meeting a day later where the kids told me that they don't consider me their mother and feel like I should move back to the state we moved here from.

There has obviously been a terrible injury to my relationship with these kids, so my first thought was to involve a professional and get family therapy to facilitate healing, and my ex refused. He told me that the kids won't want to go. The kids avoided me for quite a while after this.

For a while, the shock of it all, because it all very much took me by surprise, flattened me and I checked out. I avoided going into the house. After talking to someone about the situation, I realized that I needed to try to connect with the kids in any way that I could so every day I go in and talk to them, try to get any affection to them that they'l allow. Since then, it's been confirmed through their actions and words that they do, in fact, still love me.

A few months ago I was talking to our oldest child, who is 20, and they opened up to me that their father has talked badly about me for much longer than since our split, that it's something this child has had to endure from a very young age. They admitted to not liking me at all until they were about14 - when we bonded over music. They also told me that they believe their father feels some sort of ownership over me, and may be glad that I'm not able to provide for the younger kids on my own.

I decided then to get an attorney and file for divorce, for 50/50 custody.

He has responded by denying my petition and in turn asking for sole custody with me having visitation every 1st and 3rd weekend.

Our case was sent to mediation and we have each had an individual appointment with the mediator, then I got an email saying that there isn’t a mutual agreement to go forward with mediation, his refusal. So it goes forward to court.

He’s going to put us all through more time wasted, to make a judge rule on this. His attorney has motioned for the kids to have their own representation, but my attorney has said it’s totally unnecessary.

I don't feel like our kids deserve to have their mother forced to be a 2 weekends a month parent when I want to be as involved as possible, and I certainly don't feel like I have done anything bad enough to warrant a court granting him this - but I am SCARED that my kids and I are going to lose out on a relationship because of this.

What are the chances to getting 50/50 custody ?

There is no abuse, no neglect, just a father that wants to be involved and mother is making it extremely difficult. Gone to mediation once and have an agreement, which was all he could get atm due to judge changes, his previous judge retired and was giving step up options due to age.

In my own custody situation the mediator (we never went in front of a judge just basic agreement step and moved on) she told my child’s father he could get 50/50 and he denied it. At that time, our child was similar age to husbands.

So it’s baffling that this couldn’t be achieved ?

Child will be turning 1 soon. Overnights are set to start then. But he wants to be more involved and is an active father in current children lives.

Looking to hear from other fathers that had to fight with a conflicting mother who just seemed to be hellbent on not allowing it, for no good reasons.

I’m in the boat that what mother wouldn’t want a stable father involved, that’s crazy to me. Coming from the other side of the coin, I wish my kids dad was more involved and made these steps.

Husband has an attorney but I’m not particularly a fan and would think there should be more room for him to have more time than what’s been given. But I’m not a lawyer and just my opinion.

I believe the current order states around May this can be reviewed again and that would give him time of the overnights to show stepping up.

How long did it take you dads to get to 50/50? Do I dare ask how much in lawyer fees as well?

I have reached out to my attorney but I have not heard back and my heart is racing and pounding because I feel so powerless. My daughter's (2F) father (30M) is prohibiting his babysitter to contact me to give me updates. I'm opposed to the idea of having a baby sitter because my daughter has been taken care of by my mom who has been doing for 2 years no problem, no objections from him. I filed for custody not too long ago and all of the sudden my mom taking care of my daughter is a problem. I met with the babysitters, I felt better but not great because it's his right. I asked if they were okay with communicating with me or if I could create a group chat so both of us can keep communication to s minimum but mostly to get updates at the same time. This man demanded them not to contact me and warned me not to contact them. That I have to communicate through him at all times. He won't even tell me his work schedule, when he drops her off or picks her up. What can i do next? Can he do this and am I overreacting? He's not very forthcoming with and verbally abusive and I was trying to avoid all this but he keeps trying to bring issues into our custody. Please help!!!!!

Hey all,

To preface my coparent and I have not filled out a custody agreement. They are not on child support. Our child is 2. Currently I have him during the week from 6AM - 5 PM. They have him from 5 PM to 6AM. On our days off, we keep them all day.

They only have one family member that lives close enough to rely on to watch my son during the mornings—but I suspect is also watching my son during the weekends they are supposed to have them. I have my parents that I rely on when I need to. But I have our child with me 95% of the time. Tuesday Wednesday and most of Sunday I will have our child. They have them Friday night to Sunday (about midday). Frequently I’d be asked to keep our child during the weekend so they could work. But eventually stopped agreeing because I felt I was being taken advantage of (I need a break too).

My child’s other parent makes good money and has recently told me that they decided to work 7 days a week. I have no idea if this is true and it legitimately doesn’t matter. It pisses me off, but again, I realize that it’s none of my business.

My question is, is this considered 50/50? Is it fair for me to want to know who our 2 year old will be with in case of emergencies (they know in my case), and what you would advise moving forward? My child’s other parent does barely buys them clothes (frequently asking me for shoes and clothes), has never taken them to a doctor’s appointment/dental appointment. And has shown in various other ways their child is not a priority for them.

I do not want to take custody from their other parent but wonder if I have a case for child support or a difference in a typical custody agreement (since we have none).

How do judges react after a mediation report of coaching ? Are there any repercussions in talks experience??

Hi guys first post anywhere about my custody battle but its interesting! So me (24 yo father) and baby momma (25) are going through a pretty rough custody battle right now over our 2 kids (4f and 8months m) and it just escalated to a point i never wanted. So long story short BM showed up to town (she lives 10hrs away) unannounced while she is supposed to be getting served with paperwork to in my best guess attempt to take the kids. I showed her the court paperwork signed by the judge saying its ongoing and the kids cant leave the state for any reason unless an emergency and she went psycho on me saying i was keeping the kids from her and im such a horrible person. She went to go see the kids at my parents house (they were babysitting while i was at work) and visited the kids for 5 mins. I had a gut feeling something was wrong and i called my parents to ask them to check on my house well when they went in my smart tv was gone so i immediatley called the police and contacted BM asking for my tv back. She ended up bringing it to my work but the cops were waiting and arrested her and her boyfreind. It turns out they had broken my front door knob and forced their way into my house to take my tv (idk what posessed her to do that) but im asking is there any way that this could work in my favor through the courts? I know some states are different on laws but i live in a state where sole custody is usually never granted for any reason

Trying to make a long story short: My ex husband hasn't had any contact with our teenage kids since June 2024. He has blocked all our phone numbers and we don't know how to contact him.

1 kid has lived with me 100% since June 2023 , the other has lived with me 100% since October 2023, when they accused him of physical abuse. He was arrested, charged, and pled no contest, and is on probation. He has not had medical insurance (which is in the divorce decree) on the kids since Jan 2024, and has not paid any out of pocket medical or dental expenses in well over a year. I have paid over $15k OOP in medical and dental expenses that he was supposed to split but did not. I also pay Cobra for his dental insurance on the kids because he quit his job. I also have made all the medical and dental appointments because he doesn't care to.

he has not provided any financial support, ever. On paper we have 50/50 custody with no enforcement and no child support. In practice I have the kids 100% and make all decisions with no financial support.

In 2022 he kicked the kids out of his house and stopped insuring them. I took him to court over this, had to do mediation, this caused a 10 me /4 him schedule for one kid and "as child desires" for the other because after 8 months of no overnights he suddenly desired contact again. I ran out of cash and stopped pursuing the case. Then he kicked one kid out of his house again, and physically abused the other, and everyone was back with me again.

My lawyer advised me to "not poke the bear" because I'm unlikely to ever actually get financial support and will spend thousands trying to. Also, he was content not to see the kids for 8 months in a row before, but as soon as he heard the words "child support" he wanted parenting time. So the safest thing is to have my kids 100% in real life, but not on paper because the proceedings will have him wanting contact again.

However, that advise was before the abuse plea. Also, I recently saw on LinkedIn that he has moved out of state 500+ miles away, possibly months ago. I don't have any contact information for him. I would like to be able to get them passports for a family cruise next summer. I understand that will require either a signature from him, or sole legal / physical custody. What are my chances in court?

Hi for some content I (Mother) just got granted overnight visitations of our 15 year old after 8 months of 2 hour visitations every other Friday.

After receiving my minute order I let Father know that I would be picking up our child this Friday as stated in the minute order it is valid now. Father is now saying that child is not comfortable coming for overnight visits and that he will give me 3 hours instead of 2…can he change things like this? His attorney wrote to me that since our child is older she is the only who can say if and when she wants to go.

What should I do this weekend? For my child’s sake I want to avoid cops, but i’m unsure if I can get father to accept.

What type of schedule/vacation would be more suitable for a 4 year old

a) Mom takes vacation, starting on December the 20th (Friday) and goes through the 27th (Friday). In between, she drops off her son at dads house at 12pm on Xmas day (Wednesday) to only pick him back up on Thursday at 6pm which then he gets dropped back off again Friday at 4pm since dad has weekends. Dad takes his vacation the rest of the year (27th through January 1st, which is only 5 days of 7 days he can use for a vacation, but can’t use those other 2 days on a different schedule per the custody order)

Or

b) mom takes vacation on December 18th (Thursday), son still goes to preschool on Thursday and Friday) but her week ends on the 25th. She drops him off with dad and dad uses his vacation from the 25th thru the 1st.

Context, I am dad, I have weekends from Friday night through Monday morning, and his mom wants to do the first schedule, but I suggested the second schedule. Every time I mention why the second would be more efficient, she makes an excuse/reason why she wants to keep to the first schedule. She’s mentioned she doesn’t wanna take vacation during the last 2 school days of the year (he’s in PreK, goes 9-2:30pm, gets out at 12pm on Friday for early dismissal), and she says our son misses her fiancé, and would be time for them to see each other, despite the fact her fiancé lives at their house and goes to church with them on Sundays. I know a step-parent can be a positive thing, but I feel there it is to an extent, which I feel this is the extent.

I can’t take off the week before Xmas tho because my line of work, I have my inventory on the 13th of December, which my company holds back some massive amount of pallets that are to come in, just to keep the inventory as easy as possible, and then after inventory, I get slammed with receivings the following week. But my job (for once) is closing down on Xmas through the new years, and I still had a weeks worth of vacation to use, mentioned to her I was thinking of taking it during the holidays, since I have the latter portion of Xmas, and New Year’s Day coming up, why not just make it a vacation? And then she wants to say her schedule is the one she wants to go with.

We can’t come to an agreement/compromise here and I don’t know how I should proceed. Should I just suck it up since she just won’t budge and keeps bringing up excuses, basically making it about her, not seeing that her schedule has our son going back and forth in 4 days?

Hey everyone. I have sole legal and majority time. NCP has standard every other weekend + every other weekend in June.

My question is that the concept of "every other holiday", i'm assuming that includes something like 4th of july? Do we just do those every other year just like christmas and thanksgiving? I can't find information on labor day, memorial day, 4th of july etc, the other national "holidays"... Thanks

How likely is a co-parent to actually receive more parent-time, when said co-parent hasn't been consistent with their parent time in over 2 years? My co-parent "Taylor" consistently skips parent time with our child (4F), has declined extra time when offered, and has canceled visits last minute - so much that although we have 70/30 (70 me) on paper, the reality of what's actually happening here has been 80/20 for 2023 and 2024 so far, based on the number of nights.

Taylor isn't struggling with health issues, finances, or anything that prevents seeing our child to the full extent of the allotted parent time. I am responsible for all of the pick ups and drop offs. In an effort to keep the peace, I also agreed to lower Taylor's child support obligation by more than half (despite making 6 figures, Taylor pays just $300/mo) I cover everything else on less income and there is really no excuse. Taylor also consistently spends a lot of time traveling on vacations and weekend getaways (at least once, sometimes twice a month) and skips time with our child.

Taylor is recently engaged and is suddenly now demanding 50/50, petitioning the Court to modify our custody order. The only arguments made in the petition to modify are that Taylor regrets what was initially agreed to in mediation two years ago, and that now that Taylor's engaged, "50/50 is possible." Taylor's requesting that if the Court determines 50/50 isn't in the child's best interest, they should be granted "sole physical custody" once our child starts kindergarten. Taylor travels for work (gone about 12-14 nights a month) and intends to leave our child with the soon-to-be spouse while working. Sole physical custody doesn't make any sense in this case, especially when my job doesn't take me away from home for half the month.

I'm opposed to a 50/50 arrangement for a few reasons, but the main one is that we live a significant distance apart (2+hours driving). I also genuinely don't believe that even if we had 50/50 on paper, that Taylor would hold up to it, as apparently even 70/30 is too hard.

I can't see the Court siding with my co-parent on this one, especially after 2 years of flakiness, but I suppose anything is possible. My hope is that the Court will agree that the stability granted by remaining in the care of the parent that has been the primary caregiver since day 1, that's consistent, and present (home each day) is in the child's best interest - all of which Taylor is not.

I appreciate any insight on this, and thank you in advance for your comments.

Backstory:

Separated October 2022, 2 kids (currently 12yold F and 10yold M)

I (Father) moved out, stayed heavily involved with kids.

March 2023 mother had complete meltdown, threatens to harm children, tries to OD, removed by police

I take out immediate protection orders, assume full custody, reoccupy family home with kids

July 2023 mother diagnosed with breast cancer. I invite her back home and do my best to care for her while she goes through treatment (no relationship rekindling from me)

March 2024 another meltdown, she has to be removed by police again

Since June 2024 she has had both children one evening a week for dinner, and one child only overnight on a Saturday. I have full care all other times. She has minimal involvement otherwise with children.
---

Her treatment is coming to an end, and assuming it is successful, I would like us to move to 50:50 custody. My question is, why does everyone do week about custody? I would think longer term (e.g. rotate every school term) would just be so much more practical and more stable for children? Does anyone have any experience with longer term (month/school term about) rotating custody or can point me to any research?

I currently have primary residence and joint legal custody of our child (I'm mom). Dad was physically abusive during the relationship to me and recently my son said his Dad was hitting him. Judge ordered no corporal punishment, which I'm grateful for.

Will asking for a change from joint legal custody to "joint legal custody with final decision-making authority" help me? Currently with the judge ordering no corporal punishment, Dad has not hit our child again. But all eyes are on him at the moment. Once we are done with court, and time passes and he lowers his guard again, I'm worried that it can happen again. Dad hasn't done therapy or any treatment for the DV/anger issues.

If my son says he's scared again or that dad has hit him again, I'd like to have the decision making authority to pause visitation until we can get in to see my son's therapist and work with the therapist to figure out next steps. But I'm worried that will be called parental alienation.

Would having something like "final decision making authority" give me the right to pause visitation, as long as I'm still consulting with dad and therapist - without having gone through an emergency court order?

I'm trying to figure out a custody situation where I can respond to my kid when he's stressed out and saying that Dad's house is rough and he needs a break - without having to repeatedly go to court. Usually dad's moods are temporary (albeit cyclical) and so if I have the ability to give my son breathing room, it would be helpful.

Any advice? Has this worked for anyone else? Thank you so much

Last weekend of the month. What is considered the last weekend? When the Friday starts in the month? Or the whole weekend is in the month?

So I'm in a disagreement with my ex about what would be the last weekend of November. She claims it's this weekend because next weekend December 1st is on Sunday so it's not a "full weekend " but doesn't the weekend start Friday evening? Which would be 29th.

My ex husband and I share custody of our son 50/50. We are both teachers, but at different schools with different start times. Our son currently attends the middle school that I work at.

My ex husband recently switched jobs in August, which created an issue for him to get my son to school in the mornings. We discussed the challenge (only after the job was underway), and I agreed to drive 5 miles round trip on his days to pickup our son and get him to school. In exchange for this, I simply asked that my ex husband take our son to soccer practice on his days (something he wasn't doing before because I signed him up and my ex was not supportive of our son playing soccer).

This arrangement was working well for 2 months, and now my ex husband refuses to take him to soccer (again, only on his days with our son). I want to stop taking my son to school on my ex husband's days, but that means that my son doesn't have a ride to school (no school bus and too far to walk and no before-school care that starts early enough).

Our parenting plan says nothing regarding school transportation, but I'd assume that custodial parent would be responsible. If I continue to do the school pickups in the morning, then I am pretty much doing all of the transportation - school and extracurricular activities. That doesn't seem right or fair. I've tried to reason with my ex husband, but he is digging in and won't budge. I understand he has a work challenge in the mornings (which is why I tried to help), but he is off work early afternoons and has no legitimate excuse to not take his son to soccer.

What should I do?

Live in Florida and subject to FL laws.

Do they directly observe you when giving a urine test for drugs? My ex has used synthetic urine in the past for jobs and passed

My 12 year old son is now living with his father. He’s been with me, the mother, since we split up when he was 2. We’ve live 6 hours away for 10 years.

My ex has only had custody for 4 months and he’s already withheld 3 court ordered visitations. I’ve been at the meeting location, 3 hours away, and he hasn’t shown up.

Is it too soon or a very appropriate time to ask for a reversal of the court’s decision?

So I'm (21F) am going to try to get full custody of my son (9months), although preferably have paternal rights terminated. Ex (22M) has made suicidal implications and has threatened/blackmailed me. I have texts saying he has proof to destroy my life, that he can easily take my happiness away, etc etc. He claims he has evidence of DV (which has never happened) and threatened to sue for destruction of property over resetting his phone, which he did himself and I had no part of.

He wasn't there for our son's birth, rarely fed him or changed a diaper, was almost never home and always found a way to NOT watch baby. He never bought diapers or formula, instead my own parents helped.

He has talked about suicide in person, saying how it's the best way for him to not be a father anymore (I have several witnesses to this event) and has said things such as "if I can't have you no one can" and "you deserve to only be happy with me".

I'm beyond stressed out and decided to start this journey. I have a consultation middle of December and just want all of this to be over already.

I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my daughter last week.

This was our second custody trial after my divorce.

My ex-wife had used false abuse allegations made to mandated reporters and would use those reports as evidence with a biased gender discriminating judge the first time.

During the first trial every appointment this judge made sided with me. My daughter's attorney appointed by the court the court investigator etc all of them stated that father should have custody that mother wasn't capable.

He didn't though. And for the next 8 years I have been battling to get her. For the next 8 years My parenting time was every other weekend alternating Christmases and thanksgiving's and two weeks in the summer and that's it.

That day finally came and I represented myself through the trial this time after spending my life savings on an attorney the first time.

I kept it about my daughter and nothing else. I brought a family photo album with pictures documenting every stage of life since she was born with us.

The judge had appointed a guardian ad litem for this trial as well. The GAL was absolutely incompetent. She alluded the whole time that she was on our side. But at the end of her report her recommendation was that my daughter should stay with her mom because she is established. Through the report though we would have never found out that my ex-wife was back involved with a man who she had another child with and had assaulted her several times resulting in prison sentences. He was homeless addicted to drugs and my ex-wife was allowing him to live in her car outside of the house which inevitably resulted in another domestic incident to which the police responded to. Without that GAL report I would have never known about this. I have no assaults on my record I've never had a restraining order in fact the only protective order I have ever had was against my ex-wife after we separated. Why The GAL thought my daughter was better off living in a section 8 housing complex hundreds of miles removed from her immediate family and surrounded by a drug addicted abuser is beyond me. The judge did not agree with the GAL recommendation.

I had her immediate and extended family at family friends as witnesses.

My ex-wife did none of the above. She made her entire 2 days about bashing me and talking about herself. The judge even expressed she was concerned that my ex-wife wasn't using her time wisely. My ex-wife didn't even bring a single photograph of my daughter and her life with her...

It took 3 months to receive our judgment but it came last week.

My ex-wife lost everything. The judge found her to be emotionally abusive, incapable of being a co-parent, and capable of being selfless, and capable of being a responsible parent, and had a proven history of using our daughter to fuel her resentments towards me and of parental alienation.

She didn't even get every other weekend. Along with losing her legal rights her visitation is three holiday weekends a month, memorial Day Columbus Day and mother's Day, alternating Christmas and thanksgiving's and a few weeks in the summertime and that is it.

My point is when you go to trial don't expend your energy on trying to make the other party look bad. Keep it on your child. Keep it on their best interest. Keep it on the love you have for them. Act as if the other parent isn't even in the courtroom because it isn't about them it isn't about you it is about your kid.

My child’s father is being deployed. Our custody agreement is that he has our boys every weekend except the first weekend of the month. This is his first weekend gone, and his girlfriend asked if she could have the boys. We made plans since I don’t ever have them weekends so I told her we could arrange it for another weekend. He sent me a text saying I have to let her take the boys on his days because “he’s providing childcare”. I’d prefer not to lose weekends with them and spend gas driving 2 hours each way twice a week when they’re not even seeing their dad. He does not consistently pay child support if that matters. Does this sound correct? Do I have to take them to his house even if he isn’t there?

This may be more of a rant, but I see it as unjust and absolutely unfair for women or men to have to split 50/50 custody with their DV abuser.

The amount of anxiety and stress that comes with the anticipation of just meeting up to do drop off and pick ups should not even exist imo.

I’m currently having to face this type of dynamic with my daughter’s father and it’s extremely stressful and depressing.

He beat me up several times during the relationship and still harasses me daily after 3 years of being split apart.

I’m not rich but neither can I afford a lawyer that will help me through this situation. The father has money and has a good lawyer to the point that I’m forced to reside in his county and within a certain range of the county or else he’s allowed to take full custody.

This is absolutely draining and depressing. I can’t move anywhere without a threat and the bullying doesn’t stop. My life is completely on hold because it’s on his terms or else he can take full custody.

I find myself stuck and don’t know what to do.

In the process of getting a Divorce after 10 years of marriage and I cannot figure out a parenting plan.

My stbx is an amputee from an accident 8 years ago, and has been on pain meds since.

He has good days and bad days.

Bad days include sleeping all day, irritable, and occasionally drinking in the the past. ​​

I've been the main single married parent for the past 8 years and was homeschooling.

I was so overwhelmed and always overstimulated (ADHD) that I finally got him this year to let me put the older two in school so it wasn't so stressful on me doing it solo (despite him thinking he helped)

He blames everything on me since wanting a divorce and wants full custody of our 4 kids.

I want to move away and start over but I'm conflicted with the kids. (3.5 hrs away in a different state)

I get overwhelmed easily, even with meds to help with my ADHD (I was finally diagnosed earlier this year) but I love my kids, but can I even attempt to do 60/40 (school summer schedule) and push for that for myself if I can barely handle them all together?

At the same time, he wouldn't be a service to them. I fear how his actions and his habits will impact the kids and their future.

He was homeschooled and there's a reason I stressed out about the kids education, and knew even Doing everything for them, they were still behind, I cannot imagine if he took them out of school what future impact that will have on them.

They're finally learning easier because I'm not stressed out trying to get them to listen and they're getting the better version of me right now, but when I have them (we're currently on a 4-3-3) I'm right back into overwhelmed and ignored by the older 2.

So I'm loosing sleep over trying to decide if I'm really the best choice for a school year schedule, or risk them growing up sheltered and uneducated.

This is my third post here. Long story short I’m fighting the mother of my child for custody to our daughter.

We were not married.

30 days ago she was served with legitimization paperwork. She used all 30 days to file her response to the summons. In her responses there were quite a few lies. Such as how much money I was making. How I didn’t provide support during the two months I was living my with her and my daughter. I have text receipts of all of that.

My goal is to get 50/50. She wants me to pay half of her hospital bills that insurance hasn’t covered, which I am more than willing to pay seeing as it’s our daughter. However she is requesting child support based off of a job that I haven’t worked at in over 7 months. A little back story here- we were both managers for a company- she began to tell people that I was the father of our child at work, there’s a policy in that company that zero managers can have a relationship so I quit with proper notice so that we both were not terminated. At my job now I make significantly less money.

I also want it noted that I do not have a problem with child support. I am more than willing to help her out in whatever way I can.

I guess my advice is is there anything I can do about the lies in her response? I have over two months worth of text messages asking to see my daughter without her responding. In those text messages I have also offered her money on numerous occasions, yet she does not respond.

I have no idea how my daughter is doing, who’s watching her, who’s around her, but she is saying in her responses that she is not keeping me from seeing her even though she does not respond to any form of communication.

Please someone offer advice. I have never been through the court system so I am nervous. My attorney assures me that I have a good case for 50/50 based solely off of parental alienation. The only thing he said that could prevent that, is the fact that my daughter is 4 months old. However, she’s formula fed and not breastfeeding.

I would appreciate any info anyone can have, I’m going through a range of emotions right now.