The Rainbow Bridge

Moved into a new house a month ago. My six year old cat who accompanies me, my boyfriend, and my 14 year old cat in life is our pride and joy. Im in my thirties and don't yet have children. My two cats are the closest thing I have to kids. I loved them so deeply and am grateful everyday for them. Our 6 year old cat darted out the door one day when we were coming home late, he is solid black and our garage is dark so unfortunately we didn't notice right away. We went to bed immediately and when we woke up the next morning panic set in. We spent the next five days in a full blown panic attack searching the neighborhood I walked 40 miles in five days, spend hundreds of dollars, did everything we could possibly think of, and we cried constantly during those five days so worried for our boy. On the sixth day, we had set out a cat trap with food in the last yard he was seen. When I went to check, a few yards behind the trap was his mauled body. He had been a victim of coyotes. Not only am I grieving the loss of my baby, I have to reconcile with the gruesome, violent, and nightmarish way he passed. I will never be able to get what he looked like out of my head. I can only equate it with someone who found their loved one murdered. It's been five days since we found him and I feel like I am an in a daze. I have been disassociating trying to distract myself from the cold reality that I couldn't keep my precious boy safe and he had to suffer greatly. I shoot up out of bed when trying to sleep hyperventilating. I am in so much mental and emotional pain. Please someone give me suggestions or just tell me if you were in a similar situation and how you managed it. I am worried I am going to be permanently different.

it doesnt feel right that shes gone and im still here. we've been together most of my life that i can remember. i thought it would be the two of us forever and we would leave this world at the same time. carrie fischers mom passed away a week after her passing from a broken heart and thats the only ending that feels right to me.

So we bought a house last last year (Winter 2023), and today I was working in the eaves of the roof to run some new cabling. While moving forward through the crawlspace, I found a big lump in the insulation.

Underneath was six wooden cubes with a handful of fake flowers on top. I quickly realized I was looking at pet urns, and the label on the bottom of one confirmed that (Vinnie). Unfortunately, to do the work, they had to be moved, so I delicately extracted them from their home, and now they're sitting on the floor while we figure out what to do.

I just sent a message to a contact in hopes of getting in touch with the former owner's next-of-kin, but I'm not sure if that will go anywhere. If not, we may need to put them to rest in the woods behind the house, as we're not comfortable keeping them in the building.

Not really looking for advice or anything, just need to share what we just experienced. Not the mood whiplash I was expecting today.

I lost my soul dog Tito 2 months ago unexpectedly. He was 1 year old and he was my everything. I took him to the vet because we were going to get him fixed. His little heart gave up on the fear and it stopped. I still can’t believe it. I miss him everyday and I just can’t function properly because of the grief. I’m autistic and he helped me through a lot of the daily struggles. It was thanks to him that I was able to be strong and do many things. It’s so unfair and I feel so guilty for taking him to the vet that day. I feel like he thought i was abandoning him and he was so scared that his heart just stopped. I feel like I took him to his death. I couldn’t even say goodbye. Time has stopped completely for me. My parents grief but get angry at me when they see me crying. I just want to be with him and hold him one last time, to ask him for forgiveness. I just wish he knew i wasn’t abandoning him. I wish he knew that i loved him dearly. I wish we had more time. I wish i could go with him.

It’s been a week and a day. She was ten, but it was still a complete surprise. We had walked a mile every day preceding the vet appointment that indicated acute pancreatitis with complications. The following hospitalization and few days at home after were full of ups and downs. She was miserable, her liver enzyme levels did not go down, she wouldn’t eat, forcing meds in her was torture for all of us. Still, I read posts on canine pancreatitis groups of dogs who make it and grapple with our decision to let her go. I feel angry certain medications weren’t introduced sooner and that I didn’t know enough early on to advocate for her.

I’m grateful for my dog co-parent and other pets, who I am grieving alongside. I’m grateful her passing was peaceful and of course for every single moment we had. But I join everyone here in profound pain, as great or greater than every human loss I have experienced. Everyday moments punctuated by her absence. Every routine and easy turn of phrase startles me and brings me to tears.

Our other dog, brother, our good boy, has taken to sitting on her spot on top of the steps of the back deck, where I am sitting now. Where she protected us from every bird and airplane. In her last days we all took turns sitting with her here. I hope she haunts us from her spot. I keep expecting to see her here.

I’m not sure what the point of posting this is except that it helps to write my grief among people who know the true depth of love and loss of a pet, who don’t think it’s crazy to be so affected by “just a pet.” She was better and closer to my heart than almost every human I know, and my heart is broken. My heart is with all of you going through the same.

I have a cat that I know won't survive for much longer. I don't know if they'll make it to the end of the year, but I don't even think they can make it to September. How do you cope with knowing that they'll die soon? I can hear their breathing getting worse an worse.

There’s nothing positive without my girl. I cry and cry everyday about her. I love my missy so much. I worry that she didn’t realize how much I loved her.

I had my dog since I was a child. She was around 12, an Italian mastiff.

On Thursday she started vomiting every 20 minutes or so, and she kept reaching. I work night shift and figured she was just a bit sick from drinking too fast or eating poop. (She often drank too fast due to a thyroid issue they think). She'd drink water all day and endlessly until she would throw up all the time.

Eventually she stopped vomiting in my room and I had to go to sleep as I work nights and can't lose this job. I woke up Thursday night and went to work. Coming home Friday she was still throwing up, I got my parents to take her to the vet Thursday where she recieved vomit meds and a urinalysis.

I was woken up Friday and told they were taking her to the Vet, and may put her down. At this point she couldn't or wouldn't get up, she had vomit crusted near her nose, her breathing seemed labored and her eyes were a bit glossy. She was still vomiting and when she wasn't she was dry heaving. She hadn't kept down anything that she ate or drank for the last two days.

I pet her for about 20 minutes and then went to the vet with my parents. The vet saw her and basically said we could do an Xray but he didn't see a point and with her age and other issues, even if it wasn't cancer (which he thought it was), he didn't think she'd be able to handle treatment for whatever issue it was. He really hammered home that the amount of time in which she took a complete U-turn health wise made him believe she was done.

Ultimately my parents didn't want to do an xray. They believed the vet that it was cancer, and I didn't want to upset them so I didn't insist on an XRay because everyone had me convinced putting her down was the right thing to do.

Now I have doubts. I can't help but obsess over the idea that maybe it was just a stomach bug or something and I just killed my best friend for no reason. I feel like not getting the xray was a mistake.

I can't stop thinking about her and I can't stop crying. She was my best friend and I feel like I just killed her. Please help me.

TL;DR: Traumatic month of cat issues between our two 1-year-old cats, recently learned one has maybe 2 weeks to live. I can’t stop grieving enough to focus on him in the present.

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My husband and I have had a terrible month. One of our two young cats was hospitalized for 4 days a month ago with a fever of unknown origin, but thankfully he is on the mend so far. It’s been stressful and he’s on daily meds for now, still (FIP diagnosis).

Our other cat, his brother, suddenly was off. We noticed it last week: he ate a bit less, played a bit less, slept a bit more. We brought him to the vet when we saw him eating litter. The vets, who also see our other cat, were sure we were just anxious, that he was just stressed and needed more time with us, but we did a blood test anyway.

On Friday we learned his red blood cells, blood cells, and platelets are way down and he tested positive for FeLV on a snap test. We went back in today to get both boys tested on the longer IFA test. But they gave us two weeks with him. I’m not sure he’ll make it that long; he is less and less energetic since the day we brought him in.

I’m trying to focus on him but I can’t. I keep wondering if we should have done a blood transfusion despite the risks and low success rates. None of our vets think it’s FIP but a large part of me wants to start treating him for it just in case. They put him on antibiotics and I’m waiting for a miracle. I know we shouldn’t torture him with hospitalizations and tests and injections, as he is very much a homebody and an anxious cat. That’s for me, not him.

They just turned one. I’m so heartbroken, and keep thinking about what I might have missed and what we should have done differently. And I lost my childhood cat two years ago, so I’m thinking about how I know I’m going to forget what he looks like, what his purrs and meows sound like, what he feels like. How he used to headbutt and climb and play, which he hasn’t done in a week.

But he’s still here, and me crying every time I look at him isn’t helping anyone. How do I focus on the present?

My Zelda died at home 40 minutes ago. We were never close, but I still loved her. She lived with my parents, so I only saw her when I went over there. She started to mellow in her old age, so she let me pet her and she purred when I pet her. She had a personality on her. Dad told me only a couple ofor days ago that she was dying. I wasn't prepared. She was 16.

I wanted to add a picture, but the other subreddit won't let me post.

i cant stop thinking about how soft his fur was he always had his specific smell i just miss such small things about him

i always thought i would be ready when he passed because he was going to be much older when he passed away but now hes gone and i wasn’t ready at all

i got home from work yesterday at 1 pm and heard my baby meowing from the closet. i found her and she wasnt moving and just kept meowing for me. when i held her she stopped. i couldnt get her to eat or drink anything, and she was so weak she couldnt walk. she was fine and now she wasnt and it all happened so fast. i rushed her over to the nearest pet hospital and they told me shes too far gone and said we can do anesthesia so she wont be in pain anymore. i said yes of course and thats when it started to really hit me.

i always thought she would be in my life forever and i still cant comprehend how i can live without her. i sat in that room stroking her head as the doctor put the injection into her chest. it took so long for her to finally give in, shes always been a fighter. five minutes later she took her last breath and i dropped to the ground. i got her body in a box and i couldnt stop looking at her and petting her. i just want her here with me forever.

now shes at the cremation facility where i will get her fur, pawprint, and ashes, but i just want her body. it hurts so unbelievably bad coming home to an empty apartment. we have been together since i was 9 years old so most of my life i can remember shes always been there. i swear i still smell her and i keep hearing her walk around just for it to be nothing. i cant even cry anymore im just tired.

i dont deserve to ever be happy again. how am i supposed to when she was my whole life. i just wish i could be with her now i dont care about anything else in life. i dont care about my job. i basically dont have a family. i cant do this and i dont want to do this. its only been 12 hours and it feels like ive been hurting for an eternity. im dreading the end of my shift today because that means i will have to walk into my empty apartment and she wont be waiting for me there.

i know im not alone and this happens all the time to almost everyone but i seriously do not ever want to love like this again. she was my whole life and all that i have and i have nothing now. i just hope somehow posting here will help me get these feelings out and if anyone responds it might help to soothe me, though i think i prefer to feel the pain.

since my cat was put to sleep i have been having horrible thoughts about what happened

his insides falling out the pain he was in the fact that he had to be in the car and how scared he was

all of it replays in my mind

i will think about how my mom treated him a few days before he passed

all of it sticks in my brain im so focused on his passing i can’t even think of how amazing and sweet he was

My sweet dog was supposed to be euthanized at home on Wednesday. He ended up passing away in the early morning hours Tuesday night/Wednesday AM while we were sleeping. My husband and I found his body in the couch around 5am. I can NOT stop picturing him. Everytime I close my eyes I see him laying there. I tell my brain to stop and I can’t. It sends me into an anxiety attack multiple times a day. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone dealt with this? Does it go away? I’m even having nightmares. Should I try therapy? If so, what kind of therapy helps with this? I hate it. I miss him so much.

For context, I've grown up with VERY negligent parents who have killed more pets than I can count and have severely neglected me and my siblings. They always put our dogs on chains outside and it never killed any of them until four years ago. For the record I now know this is illegal and abusive, and I didn't fully realize this at the time, as I was in my teens.

i was the one who put her out that day and she choked to death. my brother came out and helped me after I found her. my mom didn't answer her phone until much later and didn't even seem phased. she never visited her grave and said it was a freak accident. she was the adult in this situation and I trusted her judgement, something I regret every single day. not even a week later my mom suggested we put the puppy on the line as if she's learned NOTHING. my stepdad recently cut down the tree she was buried under. my mother has always been a very irresponsible pet owner and has admitted to dropping our cats off at random barns because she didn't like them. she's also ran over more cats than I can count plus a dog. she was never remorseful. I compartmentalized this event for YEARS until a few weeks ago when I visited home.

she died in the backyard and the chord she choked on and the line for it is still there to this day. I broke down in tears 20 min later. since then ive been having flashbacks and sobbing multiple times a day. my psychiatrist prescribed me PTSD meds to help me sleep, but its a low dose and hasn't helped too much. I still have flashbacks during the day and I have to exuse myself to go sob in my room. I need words of encouragement because I feel like it's all my fault. ://

He wasn’t my cat, he was my son. I found him in a parking lot when he was a little over four weeks old, on May 11, 2005 and we have been together every day since until the afternoon of May 17, 2024. He has squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth that had taken over his entire tongue and the floor of his mouth. I liquefied food and tore it into tiny pieces by hand, and even hand fed him for as long as I could until yesterday afternoon when I was confronted with the fact that his quality of life had finally tipped over into the mostly negative and it was time to let him go. It was very peaceful, the vet did a special three-step euthanasia at my request.

He was beautiful, funny, brilliant, and a titanic goofball; I tried to take care of him to the best of my ability and let him know how special and how loved he was (he knew, haha). I feel so lucky to have had him in my life at all, and I feel so empty today. His name was Squooshable. I wish I could show you a photo; he was black and had a stub of a tail, great big golden owl eyes, and the cutest little nose.

I’m just sad and figured people here would understand. Hugs.

It's time baby. You've been with me 8 years, 6 months, and 13 days since Jared brought you home and you became my cat. My baby. You were only about 2 months old according to the vet so I decided September 1st was your birthday.

Tomorrow we have to part ways. I see that you haven't been feeling well for a little while now. Today really proved that. It was raining, and you didn't even want to go outside. That's not like you Oliver. You love going outside, even in the rain. You're a cat that loves water.

You barely ate today, mostly eating the chicken I brought to you. You spent the day sleeping behind the closet door. I made sure to put your blanket down in there so it was extra soft and comfy.

We spent time together in that cramped little closet today. I've apologized a million times for all the moments I lost my cool with you not because you escaped, yet again, but just because I was frustrated and yelled at you. You didn't deserve that, and I can never take it back. The apologies will never be enough.

We talked about the good times. The time I woke up in the middle of the night sandwiched between you and Bella. My orange boy snuggled up on side, and my pittie, like a block of concrete on the other. Neither one of you budged when I wiggled my way out from under the covers to go pee, or wiggled my way back in. Or the times you climbed the big arborvitae tree in the backyard and made your way onto the garage roof. Or you just climbed up as far as you could go and needed me to come up and get you. You laying on my shoulders when we went to the pet store. The millions of times you came to greet me at the door and launched yourself up into my arms or climbed onto my shoulders from on top of the fridge.

My two favorites being 1) the couple of times you slept under the covers with me. And 2) the time I tried to make you sit with me and watch Oliver and Company. The movie I named you after. You didn't go for it, so I watched it alone.

There's so many more memories that I'll forever cherish. The snuggles, the baths, chasing you around the neighborhood.

Time has flown, and yet it was never enough. You're just snoozing away in the cat climber right now, and tomorrow night when I look up, you won't be there. Not physically anyway. I feel the immense pain of having to lose you. It feels like every fiber of my being is being ripped to shreds. This is worse than childbirth.

It hurts to know Caleb will never really know you. There's a few pictures, and you've let him touch you a couple times. You've even snuggled his head a few times in the nights... after trying to play with and nibble on it. I love him, but I feel horribly guilty that these past 5 months I haven't been able to give you the same amount of love and attention as I used to. Going outside as often as we once did hasn't been easy since moving into the apartment and especially after the baby.

You were never a placeholder. You are now, always have been, and forever will be my first baby Oliver.

Oliver, Ollie, Ol, Pookie, Pooks, Fluffernutter, Fluff, Chonk, Chonker. Fluffernut. Nutter butter. The cat I swear I should have named Dennis the Menace. My orange boy.

I don't want you to go. I don't know how to do this without you. I don't WANT to do it without you. But I promised you I'd always protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you; that Momma's got you. And the truth is, if I let things go the way they've been, I'll have broken that promise. And I'll have been the one who hurt you because I was too selfish to let you go with dignity. I can't do that to you. I won't.

So in the morning, we'll go outside for the sunrise if you're up for it. We'll have some yogurt together. I'll hold you close. And when our time is at the close, I'll be right beside you. In the comfort of our own home. Together, with daddy and Caleb, and Kitty nearby. I'll be with you until the end. Always.

I love you Pooks. More than anything. Thank you for our time together. Come find me again.

We lost our precious rabbit, Brick, very suddenly today. We were just about to leave home when we heard him having a seizure that lasted about ten minutes. At the vet, what we feared the most came true. His condition was so advanced in so many ways that it just would have been wrong to try to treat him.

I’ve never seen an animal I loved and cared for… gone. I’ve never held them when they go. We had to put his body in our living room for several hours so his mate could see him and every time I looked over I just wished he could start breathing again or that I’d see his nose twitch again.

We dug a hole for him in our friend’s yard. I hugged him and sobbed the whole time my wife was digging, and I couldn’t watch when she finally covered him up. I don’t know how to not think of him like this, and I want to think of him without crying. It hurts so much more than I ever could have prepared myself for.

He was so good, gentle, and sweet. He’d never done anything bad in his life. He was so incredibly soft to touch. And he was loved so much, I don’t know where to put it all now.

Thank you to anyone if you made it this far, I’m sorry I don’t know how to end this. So I’ll leave it here.

I lost my dog of 13 years just 12 days ago and it was a very hard first week. I was heartbroken and such a mess. I was feeling a bit better this week and then I heard Ed Sheeran’s “Supermarket Flowers” for the first time today and these lyrics completely had me undone:

“A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved”.

It brings me comfort to know the pain of my broken heart is because I was loved by her. Dogs and their uncomplicated and unconditional love is the best. Wanted to share these lyrics in hopes it helps you heal as well. ❤️‍🩹

What has been comforting words or lyrics that’s helped you with your grief?

After my soulmate cat passed a month ago, I started visiting cats at the pet store - not to adopt, just to talk to them and pet them through the cages. It was comforting somehow. A few weeks into it, I started asking about fostering adult cats (I wasn't interested in kittens), and they said there aren't often adult fosters, but they were fine with a foster-to-adopt trial for one of their cats.

This cat is very gentle, if a bit timid. After I heard her story from her foster mom, I figured that maybe she was feeling a bit lost because she'd always been surrounded by cats she loved, and was now an only cat. I adopted one of her babies, and reuniting them in my home genuinely moved me to tears. Mama cat instantly came out of her shell. This morning, I snuggled with them both in bed, one under each arm.

...but I just can't get this persistent, anxious feeling out of the pit of my stomach that this is all happening too soon. These cats are wonderful - a 2 y.o. and her two-month-old kitten, both incredibly gentle and sweet. The adult's still technically on a foster-to-adopt trial (it's just been a week), and although I formally adopted the kitten, I think the mama is best off with her baby around so I'd surrender them both.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I feel pressured to keep them, but also pressured to give them up. The guilt of having mama cat be shuttled from her original owner to the shelter, then foster home, then shelter, then pet shop, then my home, and then going back to the shelter to be rehomed again makes me feel so guilty. She's a good girl and she deserves stability, not constant upheaval. Are butterflies or anxious feelings normal when adopting again after a big loss, or is this my gut telling me to pump the brakes and grieve a bit more first? Has anyone been in a similar situation or had similar feelings?

My 9 year old beautiful dog was suddenly put to sleep yesterday. She had cancer and by the time we found out about it, it was in her brain and too late. I can't live without her. This world sucks and there's nothing left good in it. I'm almost 50 and can't take anymore. What's the point.

(I'm safe for now, my husband is with me).

We had to let our baby girl go this morning. We rescued her as a pup and she lived a long, beautiful life with us. I have no doubt it was her time, and I have no regrets. She went so peacefully with us right by her side. Is it normal to feel grief this heavy from the loss of a dog? I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces. It seems like my brain keeps forgetting that she’s gone, and every time I remember it hits me all over again. I have lost family and pets in the past, but this is such a deep, almost indescribable pain. My girl was my childhood dog and we grew up together. I really don’t know life without her. This house doesn’t feel like a home without her. I can’t believe I was holding and kissing her hours ago and now she’s gone. This doesn’t feel real. I am so heartbroken. I so desperately want today to be over, but at the same time I wish it would last forever- because it’s the last day of my life that my girl was a part of. It seems like a lot of people don’t validate pet loss the same as human loss. But this is so devastating. I’m absolutely crushed. I don’t know how to live without my best friend. I love her so much. I miss her so much already. I feel so empty. I never believed in an afterlife, but after losing my baby this morning I can’t help but picture her running around in doggie heaven. I’m not sure what I believe in, but I hope if there is a heaven that she is having a blast and that she’ll be waiting for me when I get there. I am planning on putting together a photo album and putting something in the place where her food bowls were to honor her.. not sure what yet. She loved to run, so I am going to run in memory of her from now on. Are there any other things I can do in remembrance of my pup? Any suggestions on how to cope? I wasn’t expecting to experience such an unbelievably gutting grief.

As the title states, she was so much more than a pet to me. She was my soul cat and her death has absolutely wrecked me. She was diagnosed with CHF last October and we’ve spent the last 6 months fighting it. Shes had a couple scares, namely a pretty severe sudden pleural effusion episode that left her hospitalized after a vet visit that freaked her out. But when she’s at home, you wouldn’t know she was sick. I know cats hide illness very well, but from my eyes, she was doing very well on her meds.

She was scheduled for a routine recheck with an echocardiogram, and she was given sedatives since her last experience went south. She took them well and seemed very relaxed and out of it in the car ride there. The vet tech took her upstairs while I spoke to another tech about how she’s been since her last visit. Then within minutes, the first tech comes sprinting back down the stairs telling me she’s being rushed to the emergency department next door. I follow her in a fog and get briefed rather quickly that she suffered a severe plural effusion almost as soon as she was taken from the carrier. I went back and forth with her specialist for 20 minutes before I was called back by the emergency cardiologist, telling me that she wasn’t looking good.

What I saw is hard to put into words. My baby was lying in an oxygen chamber, completely unable to lift her head, chest heaving with breath she couldn’t catch, eyes wide and utterly terrified. Without getting into too many details, it was decided that the most humane thing to do was to put her down right there in the bright emergency room after I was only able to hold her for a few seconds (I didn’t want her to suffer without the oxygen). She died in fear and pain, and I cannot forgive myself for that.

She deserved so much better than that. I’d planned for so much better than that. What I’m struggling with is my own naivety. I was told she would likely only get 6 months, but she seemed to be doing well so I went into complete denial. I also have a young toddler so distraction is at an all time high. I thought she would be the one to beat the odds. Looking back I can see how thin she’d gotten despite eating well, how I should have been checking her breath count more often, especially before I handed her off to the vet. If I had, maybe she could have passed peacefully in my arms, instead of gasping and drowning in her own fluid. Maybe I would have seen that she was stressed and not just loopy from the sedative as I thought. Maybe I should have demanded they let me take her to a private room with an oxygen tank in tow so she could have at least passed with me holding her instead of lying in a bright and scary place with me over her. Just so many what if’s that I fear will never leave me.

Her life was beautiful, she lived a happy 13 years, but the ending was so terrible that I can’t help but imagine what she must have thought in her final moments. The betrayal she must have felt for me being the one to bring her there.

I don’t know what to do with these thoughts and this pain. I want out of my own mind.

My wife and I got our first puppy together on February 3rd of this year. We went and seen the litter when they were only 1 week old. Their little eyes still weren’t open and we found the one we wanted. We went and visited the puppy every 2 weeks up until he was ready to come home with us. We decided to name him Rhett. He fit in our family so well. The little things he did melted our hearts. Well 3 days ago he was hit by a car and passed away immediately.

It breaks my heart writing this message. My wife arrived home from her parents house at 5:30pm. She called me at 5:31pm stating that she thinks Rhett was hit by a car and he was gone. I was in the store buying him some more dog food. She had gotten home and within seconds of him jumping out of her car he ran to the road to lick some leftovers where the trash people had been through and dumped our trash earlier in the day. Within seconds of her being home he was gone. He never went in the road, he knew better. But his little sniffer was just too good for him.

Well today was the 2nd day without him and we didn’t know what to do. The house was so quiet, the bed was so empty, our hearts were broken. Seeing his little body laying there was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We were scrolling through Facebook and saw a new puppy that needed a home. He was the same breed as Rhett. We thought it was too soon, but we had to go see him. Well he came home with us. His name is Asher. I’ll be honest, it’s not easy. I think it was too soon to bring home a new puppy so similar to our little Rhett. But he does bring us Joy and brings the house back to life which is what we needed. There’s not a thing in the world I wouldn’t do to have Rhett back. We are not trying to replace him, that’s impossible. We just didn’t know what to do and needed something. I miss that little stink so much. I think it will take us a few weeks to really bond with this new puppy.

Three weeks ago my sweet dog Liz was diagnosed with CHF after she was having a hard time breathing. After several expensive vet visits and hospitalization she managed to respond to medications and was relatively decent for about two weeks, though lacked the energy she had before, she was still enjoying life. Thursday she was back in the state of being unable to breathe and I rushed her to the ER again.

After oxygen she was ok last night, had an echocardiogram and a cardiologist said something completely different from the other vets that had seen her, saying her heart didn’t seem so bad but that she had pulmonary hypertension. They took her off of all of her heart medications and gave her meds for hypertension instead (sildenafil). Today I got a call saying she had to be out back in the oxygen kennel and that she had gone back to her unable to breathe condition.

I have no idea what is actually going on with her heart and lungs and they don’t seem to know either. I don’t know if she would have remained stable if she had gotten her heart meds that kept her ok for the past two weeks.

Not knowing what is actually going on is awful and being unable to help Her anymore is worse. I love her more than anything in this world and I’m not sure how to continue on after this. I was optimistic After last nights report on her and today was unexpected.

I’m financially maxed out, this will take me a long time to recover from emotionally and financially. I tried everything I could, It’s a terrible feeling to have to make the decision about ending her life, but she can’t suffer like this any longer.

Yesterday, ironically while I’m on holiday in the USA (I’m English), my dog passed away. She was 9. Completely healthy. Completely happy. She just collapsed. Turns out she had 2cm of fluid around her heart and they had to put her down. I’m away with my dad, my mum staying at home because she didn’t want to come, but she was in a different city for her own personal enjoyment. My dog was being looked after by my nan, as she likes to spend time with her, having no pets of her own. I was having lunch with my dad’s boss when my mum texted him to say that my dog’s dead. I nearly laughed out of shock. I’d have never thought that could happen. She’d given no indication of any illness, any possible symptoms having been blamed on her aging.

I’m really sad. She was never much of an affectionate dog, but I really did love her. She was a good dog. I remember asking my dad before we left, “Do you think the dog’ll be excited to see us when we get back?” because she’s never enthusiastic about much other than food.

Now she doesn’t even have the option.

Today, I lost our Alfie after 11 years with us.

Alfie was a rescue that we met 11 years ago, to this day. A small, chihuahua mix – he was often timid with others and people, but for some reason, grew very interested in us at the dog park day. We were there to actually review adopting another dog, but that dog took no interest. Instead, Alfie (then named Rugger) followed us around the dog park as my partner (now husband) and I walked around the dog park. We would look back, and there he was – checking us out and shyly walking the other direction each time we caught him. Our heart became set on him, and as he sat in the back while other more aggressive dogs with their love came forward, we were set on him and pushed our way through the crowd to get back to him.

Right away, we could tell that he was possibly abused as a stray from San Bernardino. He was cautious and hated us picking him up – his body would fall flat to the floor. Regardless, he still worked through his timidness and crawled into bed and went under the sheets on our first night and slept with this. He always felt shy and timid with strangers, never scared just not too sure, but he blossomed and showcased his love, fun and energy with us. We always got to see him for all he is and could be. I could tell that he trusted us – and I know that sounds cliché since I’m sure every pet parent feels this way, but it seems like he knew we would always have his back. He never left our side and would come with us to family gatherings just as if a child would. He was our baby and he knew it.

Last year, kidney disease popped up on our radar at stage 2 – it was a shock, but after 10 years and an unknown true age (rescue estimated 3, vet estimated 4-5), we knew that we were getting into this old age problems. Suddenly, his teeth got bad – and we were hesitant to do anesthesia. But they got worse and worse as in the case of most Chihuahua’s, and we did some blood work to see if he was stable before scheduling an appointment. Then we were told it was stage 3.

He was so uncomfortable with his mouth, we knew we had to do something – but then we started considering his medications, his back injections, his anemia, his lethargy, his qualify of life… We made a decision, then it was back and forth on some good days, til it wasn’t. We made the decision to put him down yesterday, and this AM the vet came over and put him down in the living room with him in my arms.

I am absolutely heartbroken and I cannot stop crying. I’m physically feeling pain in all parts of my body. My head hurts, my nose hurts, my eyes hurt, my throat hurts, my chest hurts… everything is just hurting from nonstop convulsing crying. The vet said he was passing already from the sounds of it and her visual examination, and not even a half dose of his sedative caused him to start going and an irregular heart beat (he pulled away yelping from the injection). But I can’t shake that I chose this and chose his death. I can’t get rid of this guilt and this horrible feeling. And then I remember everything, then I focus on missing him, then its guilt, and now its me being pissed that I didn’t get more time with him and that this feels so unfair and how dare God take him from me with conditions that led us to this point.

I don’t know what to do. I am just repeating everything in my head nonstop. I keep expecting him laying right next to me and to feel his warmth, or him asking for help onto the bed or couch. I can’t stand to look at all the things that gave him joy (being a Chihuahua from CA in Washington State, mostly blankets and space heaters). Everything is causing me grief and pain. I feel like this is excessive but I cannot stop – it’s been 7 hours but I don’t know. This feels like too much and I don’t know if I’m strong enough.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for, it just seemed like someone could take this mess and tell me something. Anything. I just miss my boy and the only thing that would make me feel better is having him back. This is just too hard. I know he may have been up to 16 years old, but this still just kills me.

Does anyone else get tired of being asked if they’re getting another dog? I know they mean well, but part of me just wants to bellow “ no asshole, I want my dog back!!”

It was a normal saturday and I had already walked him, my mom took him out on another walk and it was all fine until an Xl bully attacked my boy truman and his lead broke so he ran away bleeding into the road and got hit, he died instantly. The dog owner disappeared and the car that hit him kept driving.

The phone call from my mum was so shocking, to hear her say he’s dead and to hear her so devastated has messed me up. Seeing my little buddy’s lifeless body on the side of the road was surreal. I just wanted him to be happy and cuddly like always

I loved him so much, me and my mum are around for him more than my other family members. I feel like i’ve lost my best friend. He was so healthy and so young. He was awesome. My last dog died at 12 years old and devastated me. That was just over a year ago. I don’t even remember my last interaction with him because i had no idea he would be dead next time i saw him. I want him back. I miss him. I loved him.

I’m in the middle of some of the most important exams of my life. I have one on monday and pretty much all of this coming week. I don’t want to study i want to cry.

We lost our old boy to Liver failure in 2021 and this sub was a huge help to me back then as I really struggled with the grief.

Now my girl has had a diagnosis of Lymphoma and Renal Failure. We are waiting in some results to see the prognosis and if we can do anything to help her, but it likely won't be long.

I'm heartbroken again. I'm trying hard not to be upset around her. She is doing ok at the moment. Still eating food and treats, going to the toilet fine and doesn't seem to be in pain but the signs of the illness are there. She's sleeping more and her eyesight is failing.

I know what's coming and how unbelievably and unbearably painful and sad it's going to be