The Rainbow Bridge

Today marks exactly one week since I had to say goodbye to my sweet boy after 10 years of being together. It’s been hard grieving and dealing with the pain, and I’ve been looking for all kinds of ways to help process. I’ve been journaling, looking at old photos/videos, bought 10 white roses for the memorial I set up (a rose for each year), tonight I’m watching Coco in his honor. I also created a playlist of songs dedicated to him. They’re mostly sad songs, but it ends with a fun one that will always remind me of him. I would always sing it to him whenever I gave him booty pats, which he absolutely loved. Music is so healing and it’s helped having these songs on repeat.

I miss him so much. Sending lots of hugs to all of you here who are also missing your fur babies.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5fxc8J4jwgxtyHDn1Gc0E3?si=ztNMk281R06uW9BMPOz4gQ&pi=u-YqolRGGiQZ2s

I finally had to put down my baby today. I’ve known it’s been coming, she got diagnosed with heart disease last december and we thought she only had a month left at best, but she powered through almost another full year. I know she was struggling and most likely in pain but it made it so hard to finally make the decision. Everytime i’d come home she’d still run to the door to great me, she was always so happy even when she wasn’t feeling good. literally as we were waiting to put her down she was still jumping around excited and waiting for anyone to come pet her. While realistically i know her heart was working to hard and it was effecting her breathing and energy i still feel like i made the wrong call. how can i have put her down if she was still almost the same dog she was before she was sick. the vet said it was the right decision but im still feeling at a loss.

Hi, everyone. Within the last hour I had to say goodbye to my thirteen year old cat. The process was as peaceful as it could’ve been, but I feel conflicted about the euthanasia. I feel relieved, I know he is no longer suffering, but I also feel guilty. He was diagnosed with a rare nasal tumor (cancer) almost a month ago. The first symptom was an occasional sneeze in September. Everything happened so quickly. I feel so unbelievably sad, but I can’t even target why I feel this way. I’m nervous to go back to my house, as I feel the loss will haunt me. I won’t see him in his usual spots. As of last night, he was still playing, being silly, and purring. How do you accept that? That he was here an hour ago, and will never be here again? Any kind words or advice will help. Thank you.

I posted yesterday about having to put my cat Micah down. I wanted to make a follow up post specifically about the final hours and I’m looking for understanding and hopefully some reassurance that I did the best thing I could.

Micah had been not wanting to eat for about a month. We were getting her to eat enough here and there that I wasn’t super worried, though looking back I probably should have been. I had her at the vet 5 times in the last month. First, they looked at her teeth and told me they looked perfect and that she should start eating soon. Then when she started eating even less, I took her again and they ran bloodwork. Everything was normal. I took her home and tried some new food and extra treats.

When she started to not eat at all again I took her back. This time we got her arthritis shot, since sometimes in the past that would make her ignore food until she felt better. That didn’t work so I took her back again. They ran bloodwork and told me she had what looked like pancreatitis, and her liver enzymes were at 700 when they should be around 100. They gave me all kinds of medication for her and special food to syringe feed her.

She did okay on the medication and syringe feeding for a couple days but then she took a turn for the worst and would just wander around trying to get comfortable, and when she would lay down she would stare at the floor and let her body go limp. She started having accidents wherever she was lying which was unlike her.

So at 3 am the middle of the night after thanksgiving, we drove 2 hours to the nearest emergency vet. They gave her fluids for the rest of the night and let us stay with her. By morning, her eyes were just sort of glazed over, she was staring off into space, and was limp. Her temp was also low.

We ran some more tests and they told us her pancreas was actually fine, and her liver numbers had come down to about 300. I told the vet that she was just unresponsive though and something was wrong. Since her numbers looked okay, he was doubting pancreatitis. He spent the next 10 hours running blood tests, urine tests, and even brought in someone for an ultrasound on her. He noticed her breathing was fast, and so we placed her in an oxygen tank.

It didn’t help at all, and by that time they told us that basically her stomach was full of air because of her breathing. At this point she was fully limp and unresponsive, not even putting up a fight when they took her anal temperature. Again, unlike her. They told us at this time that her temp had dropped to 94, and so we put a warming blanket around her. Her temp rose to 96 but not quite back to normal.

They just couldn’t tell us what was wrong, since all of her tests came back pretty good considering her condition. The doc’s next best guess was HE, even though the ammonia levels in her liver were actually perfectly normal. He told me that even if they did proceed with HE treatment which was going to involve enemas and a feeding tube in her neck, it may not help.

I ultimately made the decision then to put her down. But now I can’t stop thinking that maybe she wasn’t that sick since her tests were all normal. That maybe there was something we could have done to make her snap out of it and feel normal again.

I just can’t understand what happened and what went wrong, since all diagnostics were pretty much perfectly normal. There was “nothing” wrong with her, but still I chose to let her go. I hope I made the right decision. I feel like I signed a paper consenting to her murder when they had me sign the form for consent.

My cat, Mikey, passed away this Black Friday. He'd been with me for almost 11 months since my brother brought him home on January 14th of this year. He was only four years old.

At first, we were just fostering him and a second cat, Sunny. The house felt empty since we left our original cat with my mom, as we had moved out a couple of months ago. Mikey was delivered to my doorstep as a late Christmas gift from heaven itself.

He was the friendliest cat you'd ever met. Even on the first day he came home, he walked right up to me and sat right next to me as if he'd known me his entire life. No matter who he met, he'd just plop down beside you and start purring away. Plus, he had a very unique coating of big gray spots on white fur, almost like a cow. His face always looked angry, but he was really the fuzziest and silliest little guy. I could always come home and count on him running to the door to greet me first, and always being there when I needed him.

After a few months of him being an absolute joy to live with, we decided to adopt him. But barely a month after, he started showing signs of a bladder obstruction so we took him to the vet. We had to pay $2500 for surgery and were about to pay more for hospitalization when we decided to tap out and surrender him to the shelter we got him at. After all, we were just two broke college students and could barely afford anything more than what we absolutely needed.

I was absolutely devastated. I had planned on having Mikey up until the day he died, years down the line. I didn't expect for him to be ripped from my life so soon after inviting him in.

By a miracle though, the shelter decided that they'd return him to us once they'd ensured he was in good enough health and could urinate by himself. They waived all the fees for hospitalization and told us to keep in touch. And so a week later, we picked up Mikey and I was overjoyed. Life went on and Mikey kept chugging along like nothing happened.

Fast forward to the day before Thanksgiving, when he started to show the same exact signs when he had his first obstruction. A few months prior, we had actually gone to the nearby VCA to get Mikey checked out, where they prescribed special urinary food to help break down the struvite crystals that had caused the blockage the first time.

But, and I still can't believe I did this, I did absolutely nothing. I never went and bought the prescription food. I just kept feeding him the same food we already had, since I didn't want to spend more money on more expensive food until we finished the food we already had. I'll never forgive myself for making such a stupid decision.

We had to wait an entire day for the shelter to open up as everything was closed on Thanksgiving. I should've done my research, I should've looked for more options. But instead, I drove him there, signed a euthanasia form (which I was told meant that they'd have the option to euthanize, but wouldn't go there unless absolutely necessary), surrendered him, and then I left.

I should've known I was signing his death certificate. I was told that the shelter was over capacity, and I knew that Mikey had already gone 40 hours without being able to pee. I didn't even seriously consider that he was dead until 3 days later, when I had just finished an exam at school and had the time to go to the shelter and ask about him in person. All the lady told me was "he's dead, died less than an hour after he was surrendered on Friday".

I went to my car and cried for half an hour straight before I felt okay enough to drive home. I've been sitting in bed unable to do anything but think of all the things I should've done to save my little Mikey. How could I let him die so young? Why did I think the shelter was going to save him? And worst of all, why didn't I get that goddamn food?

I feel so stupid and depressed knowing I didn't do enough for my Mikey. He deserved a better life than the few measly months I could give him. I should've spent what little savings I had to save him. I'd rather have $0 and Mikey by my side than $2500 and no Mikey. Better yet, I should've surrendered him earlier on so he could've gone to a family with enough resources to keep him nice and healthy, something I obviously couldn't do. He'd still be alive, and that's all that matters to me.

I keep reminding myself that he died all alone, with no one who loved him holding his little paw as he passed into nothingness. I'll never forgive myself for letting him die like this and being so delusional for thinking he'd be fine. I can't even bring myself to eat, sleep, or study for my finals which are coming up way too soon. I just want him to come back to me so I can give him all the pets, all the treats, and all the kisses that he deserves and that I need from him.

I miss you and love you so much Mikey. I hope you can forgive me for being such a terrible owner.

Curious what others experience are on this sub from the work place when you lost your beloved companion. I got a call in the afternoon on Monday to say could I got to the vet to say goodbye to dog of near 15 years (had been round for half my life). Out of pure circumstance, I had the next day off work (today) anyhow so could use today to grieve.

I obviously mentioned to my close team that I was leaving and why (wasn’t asking for permission, I was going to leave regardless). Close team said no problem and sorry to hear, hope everything is okay (as you’d usually expect). However when I PM’d my manager, I was just met with an abrupt response of “Alright” and nothing else, as if I wasting work time to go off and do personal things instead. No even “sorry to hear”, or “sure no problem at all”.

I get that people have different perceptions, particularly those of us who have pets vs those who don’t. I’m not asking for sympathy or special treatment, but Christ is not just a bit decent to say “sorry to hear”, or just something that doesn’t make it seem like was your doing is a bit ridiculous?

Maybe I’m overthinking it a bit, but I’m already heartbroken after losing my best friend, and that shit just pisses me the fuck off.

I’m at the managerial level as well, this person is just my superior. So it’s not as if I’m some messer either who does no work…

So my dog aged 15 passed a week ago and I'm not taking her passing well. She'd been in my life since she was a puppy. In my mums words she was like my emotional support dog as well as my friend. I am already struggling so much with the knowledge that I haven't got my snuggle buddy around anymore and I miss that interaction. 99% of her stuff (apart from 3 of her favourite toys) have been taken to the dump and removed from the house. My only regret is that I wasn't by her side when she crossed over, but seeing her 6 hours later after the fact broke me more than I'm willing to admit on here.

I've been wanting another dog already, now I know my family is nowhere near ready for another dog and when we are it'll be a rescue. Am I crazy for wanting another dog so soon without wanting to diminish her memory?

However I really miss just stroking her ears and her fur, she really kept me steady during bad times. So if anyone in the UK can answer me this question of would adoption places like Battersea or Dogs Trust allow me to go there and just pet one of their dogs for a while? It'd bring me the comfort I need whilst navigating my life for the first time in 15 years without my dog.

Any answers are appreciated.

My beloved finch passed away in his sleep last night following an accident on Sunday. I am heartbroken for Loki and his cage mate and best friend Comet. 2 years was not long enough sweet boy, I’ll miss you forever.

I picked up my Jolene’s ashes today. A week exactly since she’s passed. I feel some relief finally having her back, plus her paw print and hair.

My husband and I went to an isolated cabin for two days to connect with nature and grieve. That has helped to have some time. I miss my girl every single day. I’ve been watching alot of videos and reading pet loss books. I have a meeting with an animal communicator in an hour so looking forward to that. I have experienced several signs from my baby including smelling her randomly during Thanksgiving and driving, to seeing a shooting star. My best friend texted me two days after Jolene’s passing telling me about his dream he had of us two, having a party and I baked Jolene a cake. It brings me some comfort knowing she’s still around and letting me know she’s with me. I’m also thankful to having love from her for a few years. She’s happy and pain free on the other side.

Days are becoming easier, I’m crying less but I’ll never forget my sweet Jolene. Thank you everyone here who helped me through the hardest week I’ve ever experienced.

I put my 11-year-old cat down on 11/11/24 and am feeling immense guilt about not giving her enough of a chance to recover from her condition.
On 11/5/24, I noticed some scabbing on her nose and ear, so we made a vet appointment for 11/7/24, where they found lesions on all four paws as well as her nose and ear. The vet's initial diagnosis was a bacterial infection, or cutaneous squamous cell carcinoma (SCC), or a combination of the two. We had the option to do a biopsy, but declined given that if it was SCC, we would not put her through chemo since the treatment would affect her quality of life, and the prognosis didn't seem very good considering she already had six lesions. She received a convenia shot and antibiotic wipes for her paws. By 11/9/24, the infection had spread and she was in pain to the point where she couldn't stand up on her paws to eat or go to the litterbox. We took her to the emergency vet, where they initially also thought SCC, but brought up that it could be an autoimmune condition (pemphigus) which is treated primarily with steroids. She was previously on a low dose of prednisolone for asthma, but did not tolerate it well (anorexia, lethargy, vomiting), so it didn't seem like she would be able to take a significantly higher dose of pred. I was also really scared of the side effects of long-term steroid use. Given that she declined so quickly, it seemed like we didn't really have the flexibility to try out different treatments especially since we didn't know exactly what we were treating. At that point, we started to consider euthanasia, and decided to only give her pain medication and subcutaenous fluids since she was a bit dehydrated to make her last few days comfortable.

At the time, it seemed like all treatment options were 1) inconclusive on whether they would work and 2) would have intense side effects. I chose the euthanize her sooner rather than later knowing that I could make the last few days happy and comfortable. I took a few days off from school so I could spend every minute with her. Now that she has passed, I feel a lot of guilt that I gave up too fast, and I can't shake the idea that everything could have worked out if I had tried to treat her. While I was going through all of this, I tried to be rational about the whole thing (balancing quality of life, cost, probability of remission, etc.), but now all of the emotions are so overwhelming. I feel like everything could have been different if I had opted for the biopsy at the initial vet visit or let them give her steroids at the emergency vet, and I failed her by not trying.

Our Abby passed away in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Since then it’s been difficult to say the least, as you all know.

We’ve been finding favorite blankets that have a lingering smell (she stank like a 12 hour shift at the Frito factory) and it’s been helpful to remind us that she’s still in our hearts and that we did everything for our love up until the last second. Unfortunately it was just Thanksgiving and we hosted, so I cleaned a lot of these.

Today’s my first day home alone, and the silence is deafening. I feel like I can’t even step into our bedroom without staring at her bed and breaking down, so I start neatening up the living room. Then I found it.

I always hated this heated blanket because I couldn’t wash it easily and it smells like you could bake bread with it with all that yeasty beastie scent, but man do I love it today. Thing smells like it did after she spent 16 hours straight napping a summer day away.

Call me gross, say it’s not a healthy coping mechanism, but the memories olfactory senses can push back into your brain are priceless. In all this mess and pain and heartache, there are still little silver linings to be found, my friends.

Be kind to yourselves ❤️

My dog passed away on the night of November 1st. I had said how I hadn't really had any signs from her, but I suppose I should stop complaining because I may have had multiple signs from her. Here is a little summary of possible signs I have had.

1. On the night she died, I barely slept. However, for the 20 minutes that I did fall asleep, I had a very short dream about two doves together inside her emptied kennel. There was no blanket, just two doves on the empty plastic.

2. I've had numerous moments where I could smell urine on the carpet downstairs since she passed. Our dog had peeing-in-the-house problems, but we hadn't let her downstairs to be on that carpet in years because she'd pee on it. She always stayed upstairs on the hardwood floor because we put up a baby gate to keep her there. Could just be old urine that has soaked into the carpet though.

3. Five days after she died, I had a lucid dream where she materialized in my parent's house. I picked her up and took her to my childhood room and laid down on my bed and she licked my face and I told her I loved her and missed her. Normally, I do not have lucid dreams where I'm able to keep myself asleep. Then as she was licking my face, she started morphing into other dogs, and I'd say, oh you can go now, then she'd turn back into my dog and stay.

4. I had a week off in the month of November before starting my new job. One day, while I was looking at my computer, it felt like something jumped on the bed. I thought it was our living dog, but nothing was there when I looked. It felt like our other dog who had passed though.

5. Finally, during the Thanksgiving Day dog show, right in a row, there was a dog named Echo, a dog named Rue, and a dog named Kanji. My mother's mom is named Echoe and we've been saying that is who our deceased dog would be with. Then the very next dog that came out was Rue and our deceased dog is named Roo. Then the dog right after Rue was named Kanji. Our dog that is alive is named Kenji. This whole thing gave me an eerie, Truman-show like feeling.

I am listening to a book now about Signs from Pets from the Afterlife by Lyn Ragan to see if maybe I've experienced anything else.

She passed on 11/19. She had some ailments but overall she was a happy baby. It was sudden and she passed in her own home which is what I wanted for her. It's so hard. I just got her ashes yesterday and I just feel so lost. I got her when I was 17 and I've never had to adult without her. I got her as support for my depression. My heart just hurts so much. I want to cuddle with her and I can't. I've been trying to hard to be strong. But today I feel sad and weak.

This is a long post, if you read it I appreciate you. Per grief has been the worst pain I have felt, I lost my soul kitten, the love of my life in a cat version and I still feel so lost, guilty and heart broken. I feel like I failed him and maybe there was something I could’ve done better.

I adopted my sweet boy July 31st, 2024, he was about 3 months old. He had his check up 72 hours later and everything appeared to be fine. Around August 10th we noticed he kept shutting his left eye, and eventually it started to produce eye discharge along with sneezing and nasal discharge. We took him to the vet on August the 12th where they determined it was an upper respiratory infection. They prescribed and antibiotics, eye drops, and probiotics. He got better until October 23rd which is when I noticed his left eye appeared cloudy. I took him to the same vet the very next day, October the 24th. They brushed it off saying it was normal when fighting off URI. No fever and his gums looked fine. I was not happy with the diagnosis so I searched for a second opinion. On October 27th we tried a new vet, by this point he was no longer playing with his toys or eating as much. They tested him for Snap FELV/FIV which came back negative. They conducted an eye stain and mentioned it looked like he might’ve had his eye scratched previously because it looked to be healing by that point. They still prescribed an antibiotic along with two other medications plus an appetite stimulant. By this point I had bought him a new bowl, tried different food, bought new toys but nothing seemed to spark his interest and he slowly ate less and less. On November 9th I noticed his left eye was not dilating the same as his right eye, his iris was a different shape (almost like an inverted heart), he had developed a brown stain and his left eye had white spots scattered over it. I was able to schedule another appointment with a veterinarian that specializes in animal eyes. I went in and she determined he had uveitis. She dilated his eyes to help them go back to normal and once again we were prescribed more antibiotics. She ran blood work tests and advised it would take a few days for the results to come in. The medication seemed to be helping, he was eating a little more and was a little more active. Until November 17th. I left home at around 8:30 in the morning and got back home at 5. He was laying down on the floor almost in the exact position I had left him in when I left. Before I got home I stopped at Petsmart to grab him some high calorie treats to help up his weight as he had lost a pound within almost two weeks. He got up and walked towards me very wobbly, his meows sounded like he was in pain and took a lot for him to get them out. I tried giving him a treat and he was not interested. I tried giving him his regular favorite treat and he turned it down as well. At this point I knew something was severely wrong, he no longer got up and was basically immobile. I took him to an urgent care vet where they gave him IV fluids and ran some blood work tests. His temperature was very low and his blood work determined he was severely anemic + his glucose was so low it came back inconclusive. The vet suggested end of life due to his state. It was the hardest decision I had to make and I feel immensely guilty. I cried the entire time.

The very next day the eye vet gave me a call to let me know his blood work came back, she also mentioned he was very anemic and FIP came back positive. I’m not sure how to navigate this pain, it’s very lonely without him.

My Shadow boy 🩵

https://imgur.com/a/kmtbBM4

was crying at my work desk & a coworker asked me if i was going to get another dog.

we don't even have penny's ashes yet. not thinking about that in the slightest.

think it's really insensitive to be asking stuff like that like our pets are just replaceable & don't deserve/need the time/space for us to grieve. didn't even know what to say. i just got up & left the room.

I just got the call at work that my beautiful, sweet kitty’s ashes are ready to be picked up from the vet. I just let her go on Wednesday after 20 years. I feel so lost and don’t know how to get through this. I know I will get through it but this will be the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, the first being letting her go last week. I just wanted to share because I don’t know how else to let these feelings out. The rest of the world is moving on while my world has stopped. Thoughts and prayers with all of us dealing with this incredible pain.

This weekend I had to make a terrible decision, and I am having trouble coping because it all moved so fast. We noticed my 3 year old tabby had stopped eating Thursday night. We figured he might've just eaten something off the floor, as he's done before, and so we decided to monitor him. The next morning, he still had not eaten, or used his litter box. We waited until dinner to see if he would use his litter box, which he did, so then we tried to feed him his favorite canned food. He would only nibble at it, which made us think he must've still had an upset stomach.
We decided to check on him again a couple hours of later, and at this point knew something more serious was going on since we could hear him breathing heavily. We rushed to the 24 hour vet and let them know he was having trouble breathing. The vet put him in an oxygen chamber and ran a chest xray, which had revealed our poor little boy had an enlarged heart and fluid in his lungs and chest. She also believed he has a small case of asthma. The vet let us know he has congestive heart failure, and would probably only have about 6 to 12 months to live.
We were in shock. Other than having an over crystallization issue, he was a healthy kitty. We had just taken him to the vet a year prior to treat his over crystallization, and he did not show any other issues.
With what little information we really had about CHF and letting the Vet know about his over crystallization, and the asthma coming into play, the only humane choice seemed euthanasia. After reading about how cats can potentially make it through CHF now, I am feeling EXTREME guilt.
I feel I have failed him. Like I should've took a day to think about it, but with the information we had, it seemed he was in such a critical state. When we saw him, he did still have trouble breathing and he would have had to stay overnight in the oxygen chamber.
What if I just brought him in the night before? Especially since he pushed through the day. Maybe his condition wouldn't have been so critical where the vet felt like he couldn't make it much longer. He was only 3 and now I feel he could have fought it. Even it was only for an additional 6 months to 1 year. Has anyone experienced this before? My heart is breaking by the minute thinking of it.

My little man passed away last night. I'm getting him cremated and wanted to get some of his ashes turned into a ring or necklace and keep the rest in a box I made for them. Does anyone have any Etsy sellers or small buisness (ones who do global or Canadian shipping) that they'd recommended? I just want to make sure my boy is taken care of and gets turned into something beautiful I can wear with me.

If anyone is out there trawling the internet for support during pet loss I found these podcasts super helpful:

The Pet Loss Journals Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/show/1IJRrNSm5LyeXXka9t4Ip9?si=88916c6023f74270

Rainbow Bridge Connection Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/show/3K5EcXDZjvRl1jGGwfBPyv?si=30c410d77cf447bd

Sending love your way!

Long story short my family’s German Shepherd (10 years old) legs started to fail a couple weeks ago. She’s been brought to the vet frequently and they have concluded it’s arthritis/neuro. I’ve been visiting my parent’s house a lot to take care of her and let her eat whatever she wants to get food in her. I went home and then got a call this morning that she couldn’t pee so they brought her to the hospital and her bladder burst while being assessed. She is currently in emergency surgery and I don’t know the outcome yet. We also don’t know if her failing back legs and this blockage are related. I’m trying to have the hard conversation with my parents about euthanizing her because she barely wants to eat now and just acts and looks plain miserable. She has had a very good life. My problem now is I have been sitting in my car for 2 hours pouring tears. Like I work as a long term care and hospice nurse so I deal with death weekly, and am also good at knowing when someone is dying because of this, but I feel like I am having an absolute meltdown in my car right now. I am not a person that cries and I can’t even go into school to get my work done because I cannot stop crying in my car.

Please forgive this long post, I've been really struggling with feelings of confusion and emptiness, but in addition to that, completely road blocked. Like it's been hard to feel a connection to my normal routine (which makes sense given the loss and grief), but it's also is making me feel a little nervous. I have all these thoughts going through my head, and I feel like they are obstructing my path to see the light.

Maybe I just need to get all the thoughts out of my head in hopes someone out there can relate and maybe even offer their experience.

So instead of trying to craft an articulated post about something specific, I'm just going to write down all of the thoughts that are going through my head right now.

Please don't feel any obligation to respond, I feel like just writing this out has helped, but I would certainly appreciate if anyone did offer some thoughts.

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I recently wrote about losing my dear sweet boy Clancy this past Friday. He had a big presence in my life ... mostly because his physical condition required a lot of my time, but also just because of how much I loved him and enjoyed caring for him.

Given his condition, I always knew this day would come, and the times I did think about what his passing would be like, I always thought that I would of course be very sad, but also like a good, hopeful sad. Like I knew I provided him a great life, and he lived to a nice old age, so I would somehow be more okay with his passing. But I swear, I just don't feel that way at all. I feel completely robbed, and empty and would give anything to have him back.

I have another dog (a 6 year old Corgi) I love very much. I'm struggling to contemplate what our new normal will be like. She's never not had her brother. And it's been a while since I've lost a beloved pet, I'm struggling to remember how I dealt with it the last time. My life was different back then.

Clancy passed Friday, and I have not really left our other dog alone (except for one hour on Sunday), but I feel overwhelmingly guilty about the idea of leaving her home alone when I return to my day-to-day routine. I do work from home, so she will be with me most of the day, but even just going to the gym or out for the evening makes me feel guilty that she will be home alone, bored and lonely. And it makes me not want to return to things I used to do.

In times when I was working too much or away from the house, I felt comforted that they had each other. Despite Clancy's physical condition limiting their interactions with each other the last couple of years, I know Clancy was a source of enjoyment and mental stimulation for her at least a few times per day when I would let them out in the backyard together, and she being gentle with Clancy, still would get excited to run around him while he sniffed and peed in the back yard.

But without Clancy, I feel more now than ever an overwhelming obligation to keep her entertained, and guilty whenever I'm not playing with her and she's just lying in her bed. I've already started taking her for one or two more walks per day. I've taken her to the dog park each day, but I still feel guilty any time I see her just laying down, like I'm failing her. And I struggle to understand what our new normal will look like.

I have had a two dog home for the past 23 years, but Clancy and our she was the first time I experienced having to care for an elder dog and younger dog together at the same time. It was challenging at first to adapt to Clancy's needs as he aged, while also tending to her youthful exuberance, but I found a routine that worked for both of them and I was proud/honored/happy to give myself to both pets this way.

But since she is a corgi, and I know the breed is prone to medical issues (not too dissimilar to what Clancy had), I'm reluctant to even consider getting another dog, because I'm nervous about going through the same experience again of having to care for two dogs separately like I did with Clancy and her. I often felt it wasn't fair when I had to spend more time with her and less time with Clancy and vice versa or having to stop her from playing with Clancy because she would get too rowdy with him. And I think it may be the same in only a few years if I get another dog.

Regarding the idea of getting another dog around the same age, that also makes me nervous because I always hated the idea of two of my beloved pets passing around the same time.

Maybe it's better that I just devote all of my time, love and attention to her, but again, I feel an overwhelming sense of being a failure because I don't know that I'm enough . Which makes me think maybe if I get the right dog, it would bring Abby a lot of happiness. I just don't know.

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Anyways, apologies again for the post being long. And thank you for anyone that made it this far. I assume most of all this is strictly coming from the grief, and in time, I will feel more at peace and have answers to some of these questions ... But I'm also considering seeing a therapist or grief counselor if they persist for long and continue to impact my day-to-day.

For anyone out there dealing with the loss of a beloved pet, I offer my deepest condolences.

My best friend died on Sunday. She was only 6 years old, a beautiful black cat. A kidney stone ruptured her ureter and we had to put her down.

I have never been in this much physical and emotional pain before. I can't eat. I barely sleep. I cry for hours until my body finally gives out in the early morning. My chest hurts. My body aches from head to toe. My stomach churns. I don't know how to exist without her. It was just the two of us. Now it's just me. The house is so quiet and empty without her.

I'm back at work today. Life flows on around me. How does no one else feel that the world is different now? How is it only my world that has ben shattered? I sit at my desk and contemplate ripping my own heart out of my chest to stop the pain. My family passes on words of condolence when they can. They don't know how to help me. I don't know how to help me.

My best friend died on Sunday. She took everything beautiful with her.

2 1/2 months ago, while visiting home, my mother and I rescued the sweetest kitten that we found in her garage. Father is not a cat person so we were shocked when he named it and my mother poured her love into getting this kitten healthy and adjusted to a new home. The kitten thrived and there were no health issues. Kitten went into be spayed yesterday and passed as a result (was found not breathing after surgery).

I’m devastated and my mother is absolutely heartbroken. She was the best cat and my mother found companionship in her. I’m 12 hours away and feel so helpless. Was there anything that you received that helped? I just don’t know what to do. I wish so badly I could be there.

I met this kitten that came to my dad's shop a few weeks ago. I felt an instant "full body knowing" (whatever that actually is idk) and i knew this kitten was very special and I needed to take him home. I also knew somehow that if we didn't intervene he wouldn't survive long.

My partner was not on board, as we have a small house and 2 cats and a dog. But I was trying everything in my power to convince him and prepare the place for the kitten. I was so determined to make it work because I knew this little one was important somehow, even though I was not looking for another cat nor wanted one.

I just got a text informing me that the kitten has passed away in an accident at the shop. I won't go into details, but to their knowledge he did not suffer.

I am absolutely heart broken and feel silly because we had only met a couple of times. I've never had a connection like this before. I feel like I let him down and I know he would still be alive if I had just taken him home.

I don't really know how to grieve, and any support or comfort would be greatly appreciated.

Rest in peace little one

I wasn’t able to reply to the thread which brought me here so I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who posted about their cats being euthanised following kidney disease. This happened to our beloved cat a little over a week ago and I am still absolutely devastated. It helps to know that I’m not alone in battling feelings of guilt and absolute despair.

I am relieved to hear that we were not alone in having been ambushed by this horrific disease, taking our cats to the vet to get them help for vague symptoms only to be told it is essentially over already. I’m still reeling. I love her so much and I can’t accept that I will never see her again

Our dog passed last night. We were able to hold him in his last moments before the euthanasia worked, but this is my second time doing that, and it's such a painful gift to be able to be there for them in that way.

He had a particularly aggressive form of cancer that didn't present symptoms until it was far too late. We got him tested a couple of months ago because he seemed more tired and gained a few pounds. Everything came back normal. It was chalked up to him getting older. He would have been 9 next week, and his breed can live until 13 or 14, on average. Two weeks ago, we took a trip and left him at home with a pet sitter. We still felt that something was off about him, but he seemed normal enough, and the tests made us feel a bit better about leaving.

The pet sitter called us the night before Thanksgiving to tell us that his eye was swollen, and he seemed shaky. Bless her, she took him to the emergency vet and did so much for us while we were a half a day away. They thought he had glaucoma but seemed atable enough. They took tests and scheduled for him to come back yesterday. Before that, he lost his vision rapidly. Like he aged 5 years since we'd gone on our trip.

We got a call a few hours after dropping him off yesterday. It was very likely one of two aggressive forms of cancer, and it had advanced enough that trying to treat it would likely kill him. We made the tough call to go back and spend some time with him before relieving his pain.

It happened so suddenly. He was middle-aged. Our other dog died of cancer three years ago, and we held him, too. I realize life isn't fair, but I just can't believe it happened again. I feel so much guilt and regret. I wish I'd spent more time with him, and I'm sorry I didn't.

Rest in peace little buddy. It's my own belief I'll see you again one day, with our other pets that have passed. I'm sorry this happened to you.

My beautiful 7 year old cat has a gigantic mass on his shoulder and according to the x-rays, it’s spread to his lungs. We are expected to have a month or so left with him. I’m so mad. He’s too young, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to watch him deteriorate and decide when he’s in too much pain to continue living. I am in denial and feeling so angry. I hate that the cancer is so visible, and affecting how he walks.

Any advice on how to keep it together while watching my baby die would be greatly appreciated.

for some context, we had 2 bulldogs. both brothers. we have a big backyard with a pool and usually we just let them out to do their business and let them back after a couple minutes. yesterday, my grandma let them out, and one of them slipped in the pool. about 2 minutes after he fell in, my grandma found them and screamed for me to jump in and get him. i had him in my arms and tried to bring him back to no avail. i don’t and didn’t know how to do cpr on dogs, but i really tried with everything i had. he looked so peaceful when he was gone. broke my heart so badly.

he was only 6. had probably another 6 left. was a beautiful boy. really gonna miss him. i feel like i could brought him back if i knew what i was doing.

i feel bad for his brother because we know that he knows what happened. they used to always sleep together in their bed, now he won’t have his brother with him anymore.

tears me to shreds man. wish i knew what i was doing. 💔😔

I lost my ESA of 16 years two days ago. He had chronic kidney disease, so I knew it would happen eventually, but he deteriorated so fast at the end. I came back from a few days out of town when my roommate said he was acting weird and rushed him to the ER.

I didn’t have a choice but to put him down. I was alone, just me and him, how it had always been. He was my first loss.

He was a black cat, so sometimes, I’ll see a dark corner and expect him to come out, or I’ll see one of my other two cats (both black) and for a split second, I think it’s him. I’ll call them by his name. I’ll cover my food if I need to step away because he used to steal it. It hurts that I don’t need to do that anymore.

I feel guilty that I left for a few days. I know I wouldn’t have been able to stop his kidneys from failing but I’d at least have had a few more days with him. I feel guilty that he had to suffer. I feel guilty that I’m functional enough to go to work and to exercise.

I miss my cat.

I just put my Christmas tree up and cried while doing it. Doing my usual ritual of putting it up and decorating while I listen to a Christmas playlist and couldn't help but think of my baby girl who was still here this time last year.

I've also came across a box with hers and my younger boy's Christmas jumpers inside. Immediately bawled my eyes out. It still has her fur on it ):

I've since had a baby and trying my best to be happy and excited for Christmas, but it's so hard. She was here last year. She was here on Christmas day. She never got her Christmas dinner or Christmas bath ): I can't help but think of her every waking moment and getting myself upset. I just want to hold her again.