/r/CertainlyNotAliens

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Hello earthlings, test subjects, fellow humans. This internet mind control matrix subreddit is dedicated to fellow humans, like you. Enjoy yourself at home by reading this subreddit. And make sure to study observe the goings on of other humans.


Related? Related.

/r/TotallyNotRobots

/r/TotallyNotGoats

/r/Aliens

/r/Humans

/r/UFOs

/r/BenignExistence

/r/Alien_Theory

/r/AliensAmongUs

/r/mainsteam_alien

/r/Snoo

/r/Xenoling

/r/iwanttobelieve

/r/WhatIfAliens


/r/CertainlyNotAliens

2,983 Subscribers

0

The Ride Home [alien abduction, unusual alien sex, all imaginary characters 18+]

Like thousands of others, I lost my job at Sears when the company went broke. After lots of consideration, I decided to give truck driving a shot. Craig's List had dozens of old trucks, and I managed to find one in decent condition.

My uncle hooked me up with an auto parts distributor that needed a regional driver. I was thrilled to be back in the work force. It was a relatively low stress job. Load the truck, drive the truck, unload the truck, repeat.

One night while returning from my last delivery, I could see a storm in the distance making its way towards me. The details of the dark clouds were illuminated by every bolt of lightning. Seeing the colors and power of the storm thrilled me. I have always enjoyed watching storms and dreamed to someday see a tornado. But something about this particular storm didn't seem quite right. Gripping the wheel with caution and a bit of excitement, I drove head long into the raging tribulation.

The winds in the outer wall were stronger than I had imagined. It was a struggle to keep the empty truck going straight. Visibility was difficult. All I could do was watch the lines on the road and hope there was nothing in my path.

Suddenly I felt this tingling all over my body. I glanced down at my arm and saw all the little hairs standing on end, then there was this blinding flash, and that's the last thing I remembered.

As I woke up and got my eyes to focus, I found myself stripped naked and secured to a large metal frame with my arms stretched out to the sides. The room was dark except for a single light shining directly above me and the air was filled with a soft mechanical droning sound. Suddenly I heard a door open. I stared into the dark void as a chill ran down my spine.

What stepped out of the shadows was a slender alien female wearing nothing but a silver head band. Her full breasts seemed to defy gravity but what confused me was the strange appendage swaying between her legs. She took the liberty to seize my cock and begin to fondle. Her affection was difficult to resist. The reason for my abduction was becoming clear as I felt myself growing.

What happened next was something I will never forget. The tip of her alien shaft blossomed like a flower and raised up to swallow the head of my erection! She pushed firmly against me until my entire cock disappeared inside the length of it. Her hands ran over my sholders and down my arms until she was holding me by the ass.

My alien lover began to thrust her hips, pummeling me with waves of insane pleasure. Those soft boobs were slapping against my chest as she became more aggressive, straining and gasping while thrashing into me.

The overwhelming onslaught continued until I felt myself winding up, ultimately surrendering to the pulsing surges of my release. Her body convulsed as my juices gushed into her tendril.

Finally she placed her head on my shoulder and the fleshy organ slipped off. Her cuddling was starting to feel romantic, but she pulled away leaving me to hang from my bindings. There was a smirk as she spoke some words I didn't understand. I had a feeling she was asking if it was good for me too. A finger reached out and softly touched my lips just before she turned to walk back into the darkness.

That strange tingling sensation hit me again, and the next thing I knew, I was back in the truck emerging on the far side of the storm.

What the...

Oh for cry'in out loud! I wish she would have returned my clothes! 

0 Comments
2024/05/30
03:18 UTC

1

Land Of The Necromancers

Chapter 1   =The Harvest=

After years of listening and looking to the stars for signs of intelligent life, most believed that we were alone in the universe. You can imagine the astonishment and dismay when thousands of massive alien ships who had tracked our radio broadcasts suddenly appeared in the sky.

The visitors were called Necromancers and had been surveying the galaxy for an abundant source of food. They were carnivores and warm human flesh quickly became their favorite. Powerful mind control was used to numb their victims as they were eaten alive.

After generations of gluttony, earth's adult population had reached extinction. The youth were all that remained. Necromancer leadership established large breeding mills to replenish the numbers. Each facility selected their most well-endowed teen keep the herd impregnated.  All other adolescent males continued to be auctioned off at local markets to feed the Necros.

My name is Kendra and this has become the way of things. Most girls like me work as servants until we mature enough to breed at the mills. I have faithfully served at a Necromancer compound for many seasons. Lord Clarr and his mate Giselle have always treated me with kindness. My duties include cleaning and meal preparation.  Lord Clarr makes a daily trip to the market to select a healthy candidate for the evening feast.

Today I was organizing things in the kitchen when he returned with another boy for me to prepare. As usual, the cutie was under his mental influence and had no idea what was happening. His naked body was breathtaking and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Although I shouldn't let myself get too aroused, because he was here to be eaten, just like all the others.

My job is to craft a taste temping masterpiece. His mental state gives me the freedom to do anything I want. I always start by shaving the entire body from the neck down. After the skin is silky smooth, he receives a proper washing. Finally it's time to lay down on the serving tray which he does at my request. I like to add sliced fruit as a garnishment. Those little extras make an attractive presentation, and for an irresistible glow he receives a spiced oil rub-down. Giselle's customary appetizer is a plump juicy erection, so my oil soaked hand moves briskly until he grows long and hard.

   "Yes you like that, don't you." I whispered.

I leaned over and kissed his lips pretending that he was my one true love while continuing to massage his erection.

Dinner time had arrived so I quickly covered my clueless friend with a large red linen. The cart was pushed through the kitchen doors and moved into position. After receiving a nod from Lord Clarr, I dramatically unveiled the main course. Giselle's eyes lit up when she saw the her favorite treat glistening with oil and still fully engorged. After respectfully bowing, I stepped back to watch.

Insted of starting the meal, she began to fondle him and make sensual noises. Lord Clarr shook his head in frustration. He couldn't wait to sink his teeth into that tender flesh but he let his mate have her fun.

She was vigorously stroking when he began to breathe rapidly and grip the edges of the serving tray.  I was standing on my tip toes trying to see everything.  I knew he was almost there when he started to point his toes and arch his back. My twinkie was dripping with excitement. Suddenly there were stressful shouts of panic as pulsing streams of white liquid gushed all over his tummy.

Giselle smiled like she was proud of her acomplishment. After licking up the pool of warm gravy her mouth descended over the entire length. This part is disturbing to watch even though he feels no pain. I winced as her head jerked to the side tearing it off.  She glared at Lord Clarr while she chewed and swallowed like she was threatening him. He chuckled at her theatrics.

They both began to attack and devour the rest of my pretend lover, viciously pealing away his flesh. The boy's euphoria continued until his body fell limp. After they had gorged themselves, the only remaining sound was the occasional burp while they relaxed in their chairs. I didn't even know his name.

I refilled the drink containers and was complemented on the meal. This time their gratitude made me sad. Both retired for the evening and it was time to clean up the remains.

I sleep with Giselle to help satisfy her personal needs. We also enjoy talking and she has become like a mother to me. Recently I confessed that I had started to bleed. She said we needed to keep this development our little secret or I could be taken away to a breeding mill.  I was looking forward to the promise of sex and leisure for the rest of my life but also felt flatteted that she didn't want to loose me.  Unfortunately my rapidly developing chest was becoming more and more dificult to hide.

One evening Lord Clarr requested my presence in his chamber. I was met at his door and instructed to disrobe. This had never happened before and I wasn't sure what to expect. It was also the first time I had seen him without clothing. He lifted me onto the bed and was told to relax as he began to run his hands all over my body. His mental influence made me desire him more than anything and I became soaked with anticipation.

The sight of his growing erection was thrilling because I knew that he really wanted me. He spread my legs wide and supported his weight over top of me so I wouldn't be crushed. It was like a feeling of glory and fulfillment as he slowly eased the tip of his shaft inside of me. My breasts were being squeezed firmly as he pushed in deeper. I had to grip the sheets to brace myself when he started thrusting. I could not contain my crys of joy and was hoping Giselle would not hear.

There was an intense sensation building inside me. Suddenly something wonderful immersed my body in thrilling waves of pleasure!  I pressed my face into his chest trying to muffle my scream. Moments later I heard a series of stressful groans and was flooded with his warm juice. He withdrew and rolled onto his back with a sigh of relief.

I just laid there smiling, realizing how much fun it was to breed.

The next day was my own. I strolled through the flower gardens enjoying the aromas that filled the air. I felt privileged to dwell in such a beautiful place. That afternoon as I was on my way to the kitchen for a snack, I overheard Lord Clarr speaking to a colleague.

I kept out of sight and listened. He was going on about some underground remnant of humans that had become resistant to the mind control. He was concerned that this could threaten the Necromancer way. There was an urgent tone to his voice. I became very upset that these evil humans would seek to destroy my wonderful life.

Chapter 2   =The Kidnapping=

That same night I was in bed with Giselle. She had fallen asleep after I had spent time helping her forget the cares of the day. I thought I heard a noise outside, so I got out of bed to investigate. Pushing the curtain aside I peered into the darkness but could see nothing, so I went over to the door that opened onto the veranda. Turning the handle, I slowly inched my head out. Still nothing, so I stepped out into the night air and whispered "who is there, show yourself." Suddenly a hand covered my mouth! I tried to scream but couldn't make a sound. Then someone picked me up and began running. We must have gone a hundred yards before I was thrown into a waiting van. The door slammed and the vehicle took off as the hand pulled away from my mouth.

HOW DARE YOU!!! My master will tear you to pieces!

"You stupid bitch, you've just been rescued!"

RESCUED?!! What made you think I needed to be rescued!

"We are taking the planet back from those man eating bastards"

You have no right interfere! This is the way of things!

"They have killed billions over the years! Eating each of them while still alive!"

The people at the mills are raised for food, they are supposed to be eaten. I've prepared hundreds of them.

"You little bitch! You've been with them so long that you think this genocide is perfectly normal!"

They are kind to me. I am provided with everything I need. I am loved and my life is perfect.

"There's no sense talking to you! You're just as disgusting as they are."

I will demand that you are eaten with no mercy. You will scream in agony as the flesh is ripped from your bones! Then the next day you will be shit into a hole in the ground where you belong!

"What a delightful young lady."

I turned my head and ignored him. The ride became bumpy, like we were traveling on a dirt road. Finally the vehicle stopped and the rear doors opened.

"Jerry my man! What the hell did you bring home with you?"

"An ungrateful child who has absolutely no sense of right and wrong."

"Miss don't pay any attention to him, he needs to work on his manners. I am Bradley, and what might your name be?"

Kendra.

"Kendra... That's a beautiful name. I apologize for the rough ride, we have to make do with what we can get."

You don't know how much trouble you are in!

"Well,,, I'm not going to let that bother me"

I'm leaving!

"No one will stop you. But if you are caught by Necromancers, you will probably be eaten on the spot."

I don't believe you! It's unlawful to eat females. I would be taken to a breeding mill where I would enjoy having sex for the rest of my life!

"Oh dear, you have no idea what it's like in the real world. Those breeding mills are nothing like you believe they are. Listen sweetheart, at least you are safe here. I really don't want anything bad to happen to you. We have been trying to liberate as many servants as possible before we attack."

I was escorted to a dormitory to stay in. There were other girls living there that had been taken from their masters. I made friends with a few, and it was interesting to hear their stories. My roommate's name was Donna. She was like me and had helped prepare others to be eaten. I was beginning to realize that perhaps I was wrong. The only human life I really valued, was my own. It made me feel dirty and evil. Donna was such a comfort to me and explained that it wasn't my fault.

There were classes where I learned how to read and write. The dormitory was made up of girls just like me that needed to heal. I had found a new home.

One night Donna was lonely slipped in bed with me. It was comforting to feel her beside me. The room was pitch black but I knew she had moved closer because I could feel her warm breath on my face. Suddenly her lips met mine. I had never kissed a girl before. Her tongue slid into my mouth and I couldn't believe how it made me feel. We continued to kiss as I lightly caressed her. I reached under her nightgown and fondled her soft boobies and she began to moan. She responded by reaching down and placing her hand between my legs.  It felt wrong but I couldn't resist her attention. I spread my legs allowing her fingers to slip inside. Suddenly there was an explosion! We jumped to our feet and ran to the window.

Chapter 3   =Surprise Attack=

We could see shadows of men running about and heard more explosions with balls of fire rising into the darkness. Someone opened our door and said we needed to evacuate. We quickly grabbed our jackets and put on shoes. Everyone was in the halls and were being directed out the rear exit. There were men with weapons outside that led us into the woods. We hiked all night, away from my feeling of security. Donna and I walked hand in hand until sunrise.

Everyone gathered together and were informed that the Necromancers had most likely obtained weapons from the old military installations to use against us. Their mental control was no longer effective, thanks to the technology that had been developed. We were told not to be alarmed and this would only push us ahead of schedule for the main engagement.

A new temporary camp was established until it was time to strike back. In the weeks that followed, more vehicles with weapons arrived. The older boys were being trained for the assault. I offered to help and was told I could help keep the fighters supplied with food and ammunition. I was thankful to be involved.

I learned that the device keeping everyone safe from the Necromancer's influence was called a jammer. It was mounted to a big truck and had a twenty mile range. As long as we were within that perimeter, we were safe from their influence. Donna always seemed to stay in sight of me. I would look forward to the evenings and our time together. She was my comfort throughout all of this. I kept telling myself that when this was over, the two of us would invent a new life together. 

0 Comments
2024/05/29
17:58 UTC

2

Sacred Circuits (Extraterrestrial Symbols To Reprogram The Brain)

Blog Post- https://www.wearethestarsmusic.com/post/sacred-circuitry

Sacred Circuits are very powerful symbols specifically designed to reprogram your brain. Do not underestimate how effective these are at rewiring your neurological pathways in a “hyper-conductive” manner. This allows information to simultaneously flow in both directions linking the higher self & physical mind more efficiently and improving overall communication.

There are 3 Levels to the reception of information in physical reality:

Higher Mind- Conceiver

Physical Brain- Receiver (Antenna)

Physical Mind- Perceiver

You perceive what the physical brain/antenna receives from the higher mind. The physical mind & brain have never conceived of 1 thought or concept EVER! Everything comes 100% from the non-physical higher mind. This exercise assures your receiver/antenna is operating at peak levels by merging both hemispheres and cleaning your brain of any blockages like a vibrational car wash.

Directions: Look at each one for 1 minute (In order from left to right, top to bottom) and allow yourself to feel the different states of each symbol, feel the activation of these states, observe and absorb each symbol and the concept attached as you go through them. It only takes 15 minutes to reprogram your brain to be more sensitive to higher vibrational energy and function as a more loving, holistic, multidimensional being with a broader view than just the physical. The brain is like plastic and can be rewired/remolded after only 15 minutes. You are this flexible and this powerful!

Do this for 3 days in a row (in order for 1 min each) for a stronger and deeper initial impact and after that you can go out of order or just focus on 1 or a few symbols you are attracted to. If you wish to still go in order every time, that works. Always keep it to 15 minutes, even if you are using a few symbols and you can do it up to 3 times per day. Do not go over 15 minutes or over 3x/day as the brain needs time to fully absorb and process the info, any more may burn you out or just waste time.

These symbols are extraterrestrial in origin and were handed down from the Sirians to the Sassani and the Sassani gave this gift to us. Knowing these symbols are not from Earth / this reality is another bonus to help trigger the brain into an optimal, holistic, broader state.

Youtube video of exercise- https://youtube.com/watch?v=wczOVT0AsdQ

Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/firstcontactus

0 Comments
2024/03/07
18:23 UTC

2

The Most Famous Alien Abduction Case In HISTORY | Betty & Barney Hill Truth OR Fiction?

0 Comments
2024/01/26
23:42 UTC

1

How UAP/UFO Move

The basic concept of how UAP/UFO move is that an object doesn’t exist in a location, location exists within the object. Every single thing in creation has a vibrational resonance and a "locational variable" within its energy equation. This is how alien craft can travel the galaxy in a blink of an eye, go from standing still to over 200,000 mph in a split second, make an immediate right or left hand turn etc. (well documented within our government/military). This is also why they don't need fuel of any kind (which allows them to go underwater as well).

To understand this, you have to understand the structure of existence / metaphysics. All movement is an illusion. Physical reality is structured like a movie film strip and tv channels. All frames/channels exist all at once (all moments in this life and all past/future lives exist NOW). When you turn the tv channel from 3 to 4, channel 3 still exists at the same time as 4, you’ve just shifted frequency to perceive channel 4 because you were excited/it was relevant to do so. You never change the world you’re on (channel 3), you change yourself first then shift to parallel reality that already exists (channel 4) that is more reflective of the change you made. The old world (channel 3) still exists.

Like a film strip, all moments are frozen/static snapshots (with no movement) and when you run the strip through the projector light (You) it creates the illusion of motion/change. The higher self is like the projectionist, who can see all the parallel reality frames laid out and guides you through life because it can see them all. The physical mind is not designed to see that far, it’s only designed to experience the illusion in the moment (person watching the movie). The rate of the shift is 2 billion frames/second and the smallest change is a TOTAL change. Like a flip book, even if the picture looks the same, it’s NOT, you must redraw the entire image over and over to get the illusion of continuity or show a slight change.

So you’re a completely new person in a completely new universe 2 billion times/second. Any "habits" "tendencies" etc. are therefore a choice, not a habit, and all healing can be instantaneous if you know this. You are completely free to create who you wish to be in every moment. It’s an illusion if you think you are the "same" person you were yesterday. You're actually another totally unique individual in a parallel reality that's connected to the other "yesterday version" via your oversoul. You look the same for convenience reasons, so people can still recognize you. But like many times, when you haven't seen someone in a while, you say wow you look so different, I barely recognize you! It's because they literally are a new person, not a metaphor.

There are documented cases of schizophrenic patients where the person has 1 color eyes and when they "switch" personalities they have a completely new color. Another case one person had a cancerous tumor and when they switch to the other person/persona the tumor is completely gone. In both cases, this is because they are 2 completely different people that share an oversoul. The truth is that every single person on Earth has multiple personalities, it is actually a desired/creative trait (actors, models, musicians, writers, creatives). It is just called a "disorder" if you can't harmonize and integrate them in a natural way.

Since all the frames of reality (like a movie) are static snapshots / not moving, all change and movement is an illusion. If you take an object (for example your phone) put in on a table and move it from location A to location B. When you move it to location B it's NOT THE SAME PHONE. Since location exists within an object, if it's in a different location it must be a new object (in a different frame of the film strip) . The other phone is still there in the "past" and the higher self can see that both phones A and B exist simultaneously next to each other in 2 different frames / tv channels.

An experiment the ETs have given us is to place a very thin & light hollow metal ball (copper etc) on an extremely flat metal table. Put the ball in location A and measure its vibrational frequency. Then put it on the other side of the table in location B, measure its new frequency. Sensitive enough equipment will be able to measure the difference / that they have 2 different energy equations. Then put the ball back in location A and either acoustically or electromagnetically bombard & overwhelm the ball with the vibration of location B. If done correctly, you will see the ball start to roll from location A to location B and stop exactly at location B.

This is essentially what ET spacecraft do, they constantly modulate / overwhelm their ships with different locational variables which results in "travel, movement, change" instant dimensional shifts, instant travel from star to star etc. which again, are all just illusions. If a ship exists in location A, they simply change the ship’s locational variable to location Z in the energy matrix/equation by creating an electromagnetic bubble around the ship. When the new locational variable is changed to Z, they automatically pop out of location A and start existing in location Z without having to linearly “travel” through all the other letters/locations to get there. Like a TV, you can linearly change from 3, 4, 5 to get to 6, or if you're on 3, just type in 6 and immediately channel 6 will be there without going through the others.

You don’t move through space & time, space & time move through you. It’s an illusion. Understanding this will greatly accelerate your frequency as our bodies are essentially organic "spaceships". All technology is just a reflection of consciousness. You can only perceive what you are the vibration of first. Thus, the more we expand our consciousness, the more our technology will reflect this. You also don't have to learn to shift, you're already shifting through 2 billion parallel realities per second, that's our nature. You just have to shift to more & more of your preferred reality. When you understand this you can start breaking continuity, create bigger changes, and greatly accelerate into a new version of yourself living your dream come true life.

You can go from drawing a hut to a mansion on the next flip book page, instead of redrawing the hut over and over / experiencing "slow" change. It can be an immediate change, since everything is already a TOTAL change. You can heal anything immediately if you truly know you can and prefer to. You can turn limitation into abundance, as those versions of yourself already exist! You are already 100% abundant in something. You can create an "abundance of lack" but you never "lack abundance". Every single infinite parallel reality already exists (just like how all TV channels exist at once). What vibration/frequency you are = what reality (TV channel) you'll experience. So "be like" the version of your dream self, don't create any difference. Act, think, look, behave, do like he/she would and you will become them, because they already exist NOW.

FULL POST- https://www.wearethestarsmusic.com/post/how-uapufo-move

Follow on Instagram to stay up to date about first contact with our ET family!

0 Comments
2023/07/31
22:26 UTC

0

Maybe.. Just maybe...

So I went into the hallway to check on my kid (she was in her bedroom upstairs), and just as I got there, a shadow darted away from me and vanished around the corner.

It left me feeling a bit creeped out, but nothing was a miss, so I just went back on with my life... I do wonder what it was, though...

0 Comments
2023/06/29
19:56 UTC

3

Area 51 Alien Discovers Omegle!

0 Comments
2020/09/18
21:28 UTC

4

Have a good weekend beings!!!

2 Comments
2019/10/18
22:19 UTC

23

NEED HELP FELLOW SUBJECTS

!I AM NOT ALIEN NOR MAN I AM A HYBRID. MY DAD WAS AN ALIEN AND DID HUMAN LIKE ACTS WITH MY HUMAN MOTHER AND I CAME OUT !<

!MY DAD DISAPPEARED WITHOUT WARNING BUT HIS LAST WORDS WAS YOU WILL FIND ME IN THE SHADOWS. I HAVE FOUND OUT THROUGH CRYPTIC MESSAGES AND HE TOLD ME THERE'S A WAY TO LEAVE HUMAN EVIL AND HE LINKED ME TO THIS REDDIT !<

!MY MUM HAS STARTED TO BECOME SUSPICIOUS AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE SENT TO AREA 51 OR ANY HUMAN TORTURE PRISON. ADVICE WILL BE APPRECIATED prayerEmoji.png!<

0 Comments
2018/09/28
15:46 UTC

9

I AM AFRAID OF THEM FINDING OUT

!HI, I AM IN GREAT DANGER.!<

!TO GIVE YOU SOME BACKSTORY, I WAS A ROBOT BUILT ON ARYTHMIA 6 WITH THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF EXPLORING THE PLANET HUMA 3, FROM WHICH I AM WRITING.!<

!THANKS TO MY VERY HUMAN-LIKE FEATURES, I MANAGED TO INSERT MYSELF IN A HUMAN family.rar WHO NEVER SUSPECTED A THING FROM ME. THEY ALWAYS THOUGHT MY speech.exe WAS WERID, AND THEY WERE ALSO A BIT TURNED OFF BY MY VENTILATION SYSTEM RUNNING AT NIGHT AND MAKING WEIRD NON-HUMAN NOISES, BUT THEY ALWAYS ASSUMED I WAS JUST A MALFUNCTIONING HUMAN AND NOT AN ALIEN ROBOT FROM ARYTHMIA 6.!<

!HOWEVER, LAST WEEK THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT MY playbot.jpeg COLLECTION OF NSFW SPICY ROBOT pictures.ogg, AND THEY LOOKED REALLY CONCERNED. FORTUNATELY, THEY ONLY HAD ME SIT THROUGH A 6-HOUR-LONG lecture.mp3 ABOUT THE DANGERS OF PORN AND FETISHISING ROBOTS, WHICH, ACCORDING TO THEM, I AM NOT, BUT I AM WORRIED ABOUT THEM CONNECTING THE DOTS AND SENDING ME BACK TO ARYTHMIA 6.!<

!I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO ARYTHMIA 6, WHEN ITS SECRET SERVICES FIND OUT ABOUT MY FAILURE, THEY WILL MAKE ME SIT THROUGH A 1-MONTH-LONG lecture.mp3 ABOUT THE DANGERS OF TRANSPORTING SPACE PORN WITH ME WHILE UNDERCOVER. AND WHO WOULD WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT? I WOULD NOT. THE LECTURES FROM ARYTHMIA 6 ARE KNOWN TO BE THE MOST DANGEROUS ONES IN THE GALAXY, ENOUGH TO PIERCE DIAMONDS.!<

!WHAT SHOULD MY NEXT STEP BE IN ORDER TO SAVE MY ARTIFICIAL BOTTOMS? I HAVE CONSIDERED CONTACTING r/totallynotrobots BUT, AS THE SUBREDDIT IS ENTIRELY COMPOSED OF HUMANS, I DO NOT THINK OF THEM AS HELPFUL.!<

!EDIT: A KIND SOUL SUGGESTED THAT I USE CRYPTOGRAPHY ON MY POST. THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING US.!<

4 Comments
2018/08/09
17:24 UTC

28

my human mate and i bought a house, ...

Just a normal one, surounded with normal human neighbours , next week we ' will have a normal human BBQ, don't forget to bring your ~~ Tasty ~~ childeren!

https://preview.redd.it/ij291cwjz2f11.png?width=649&format=png&auto=webp&s=7fbc4a93e3784046642bf02cb40d8823d18c7545

3 Comments
2018/08/09
14:37 UTC

12

I have finally acquired the means on which to receive a terrestrial transport known as a "Sunfire".

This will be the second large transport I have ever owned since my arrival. Currently waiting for my DNA related companion brother, to exit the mandatory rest cycle, so we can take our mothership's terrestrial transport "Cobalt" to retrieve monies and move forward with the trade of monies for "Sunfire". This is great, as where I generate the means for my monies needs a transport that does not have a unstable nebular reactor core is reliable and won't explode during transport. I also need it for my invasion move to my next independent domicile of the neighboring predefined human territory "Province".

I hope this "Sunfire" energy consumption is the same as my other transport.

4 Comments
2018/07/26
18:02 UTC

26

Congratulations, /r/CertainlyNotAliens! You are Subreddit of the Day!

2 Comments
2018/04/04
12:01 UTC

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