Pretext: My life is pretty challenging at the moment; I’m autistic, I have disabling genetic health issues and I am also the caregiver for my mom who has the same genetic health conditions. While I wouldn’t trust anyone else to handle the situation, it can take a real toll on my physical and mental health.

Anyway, this week was rough. Mom had been violently ill for 6 days, I was going to the store to pick up more electrolyte drinks. [nothing contagious, again it’s a symptom of our health conditions.] I was in my own world feeling terrible after neglecting my own health so I tried to put my blinders on and just get my stuff.

I noticed this elderly woman in the self check out moving excessively slow and requiring a lot of support from the store staff. I am typically someone to offer help immediately, but in that moment I had decided to go about my business selfishly since I felt faint and wanted to go home. I felt like an asshole but I reallllyyyyy felt bad so I did what I had to do.

As I was going to return my cart, I saw her walking out of the store very slowly. We made eye contact and she had a mask on but her eyes were very desperate for help. I don’t even know how to describe it. So I offered to take her cart, and I ended up loading her car for her. She had been in a car accident very recently, so recently that she had just got the rental car. She was a lovely older woman with a bob wig + barrettes, a tan trenchcoat, and fringe suede boots. I told her she had a great style and she thanked me profusely for being a good person.

I’m happy that in that moment I decided to prioritize that stranger over myself. I would hope that someone would do the same thing for me. Being vulnerable in public is so embarrassing but sometimes you straight up don’t have any other options, and that really resonated with me.

Now that it’s a few days later, I only remember that I helped that woman when she needed help, and not how terrible I was feeling. I hadn’t had a single positive or successful moment for a few days so I didn’t feel like I had anything left to give, but that wasn’t true.

You always have the power to be a positive force in someone’s life !! Don’t believe your mind when it says you don’t.

Today i got coffee with some friends after school. im 17 and don't really have a ton of social connections. I go to a pretty small school where everybody knows each other, and it's hard for me to really make any friends because all the groups are pretty solidified by now. I haven't gone out with any friends- or even gone out at all- in a really long time. i've just been so busy, especially with college applications and stuff, and it's easy to feel depressed and down about myself and my life and my lack of friends :/ today after school I asked a couple people if they wanted to grab coffee and they said yes!! I got a vanilla latte, and a pastry. I was able to have like a 30 minute conversation, it was really nice. talking to people can really impact my mood, i left feeling so happy and joyful. The coffee was pretty good too.

we watched about ten minutes of it then had to stop because the site we were on glitched out. so we took a break of about an hour so i could cook + eat dinner, but we stayed on the call the whole time. then we got back to watching the movie. it was an older korean movie from the 2000s called wishing stairs. surprisingly pretty good. some stuff wasn't subtitled, like a letter in a gift to one character, and some stuff on a locker, etc, so i translated it for them. it makes me happy when i can do little things like that. :)

I recently started a new job. I’ve been very frustrated with it, because the organization uses Macs and I have used PCs for the VAST majority of my life. There’s a learning curve.

I found out that apple stores have little classes to teach basics. I attended one, tonight. Well, I was the only attendee. When the gentleman asked me what I need help with, I explained that I hadn’t “used a Mac since about 1992 when they were called MacIntosh Computers, and the logo was rainbow!”

It was one of the first times in my life that I was shocked at how old I am. Not in a way that I was longing for my youth, just surprised that I would say something like that.

Anyway, that’s a thing that happened today.

I didn't get an invite. I was logging in to play cod with my husband and a few friends.

But I noticed my 14 year old son, who is very noisy when he games, was in a group of 9 kids. So I decided to jump in randomly.

All the kids were shouting who's this effing guy, who invited him....

So I decided to pull a prank.

I shouted (sons name) I'm sick of telling you not to leave your skiddy undies on my landing. Can you clean them up please.

All the kids started laughing and I just left the party saying nothing else.

Tonight my son (at bed time) said oh good one mother. The kids are still laughing at me to this day.

Then he giggled. Cuddled me, said goodnight love you, I'll get you back.

I grew up and live in a city area that doesn't have much nature and there's too much light pollution to see the night sky. I go to university upstate and god, I love it up here. I just recently went to the nature preserve we have and god is it gorgeous and serene. I'm not used to silence but I sat down a few times in the preserve and didn't want to leave at all. I felt so at peace and felt everything else didn't matter. I also started stargazing and looking up at the night sky more often. I never realized how many stars there really are in the sky or how bright the moon really shines. I'm kind of upset it took me this long (I'm an upperclassman) to take advantage of all the nature and gorgeous views I have while I'm up here, but I'm glad I started now. There are so many trails around here and I'm excited to explore each and every one of them!! It'll look even more beautiful in the winter when the snow starts falling down.

Today, while driving and resigned to the crawl of my 5:30pm commute through the surface streets, a car pulled out of a driveway about 40 feet ahead of me. I didn’t really register it. That is until a plume of orange leaves whipped up all around it in one big gush. I laughed out loud because it was a lot of leaves and the fluttered around this Civic like an exuberant flower girl at a wedding. At a red light the leaves petered out … and then when it was green - poof! More leaves! The car was continuing its’ mini parade. And then more! This went on for another block or two. I could not see where they were coming from (the hood?) but it was the most fun I’ve had on that street ever.

i tried raw oyster for the first time at a restaurant that's known for their rotating oyster specials.

i hated it.

im so upset because i really wanted to like it- but i hated everything! the flavor, the texture.. the texture.

i know people have far worse problems- i just wanted to complain about something insignificant and dumb. woe is me.

I've been making different baked goods and treats for my team every week for the last few month or so, and since tomorrow is Halloween I'll be bringing in apple cider caramels and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies! I get the best of both worlds - new sweets every week, and I don't have to worry about food waste in my one person household.

I (woman) took the bus home today from work. Normally it's not crowded and you never have to share the bench. Today it was extra crowded, but most people choose to stand rather than share a seat.

I saw an older lady get on the bus and walk past to where she could stand. I moved my bag when I saw her, and when she saw that she came up and asked to sit. It made me happy that she (1) noticed that gesture and (2) one of the random young dudes standing didn't move to take the spot.

We didn't talk on the ride home but she wished me a good night when I got off.

I walk my kid to his school bus stop every morning. When the bus starts moving, I wave until it drives past me. One little boy gets the biggest smile on his face and waves back each day.

Just made the last payment on my car loan today and so happy about it! (don’t even have the car anymore due to an accident) just happy to be free of that monthly payment and debt

This was three years ago now but when I was a high school senior returning from COVID lockdown I wanted to make some sort of stupid impact. So I brought a 200 pack of crayons to school and asked people if they were freshmen and handed out crayons to them. At the end of the year a few of them approached me and said they had kept the crayons :) that’s all.

I volunteered at a local nonprofit the other day. They assemble vegetables from a number of farms and give the food away, no income requirements or questions asked. Lots of families and working folks come through to get their share to help make ends meet. About halfway through my time, a woman was asking about the varieties of apples available and one of the staff pointed out that one was a certain variety and was sweeter than the other. The woman who was adding apples to her share just looked up from the huge wooden crate of apples and said “we are just so fortunate” to the staff member and when I remembered this small moment while biking home I couldn’t really see the road well through my tears.

I am not sure if the right place for this, apologizes if not. I live in a non- smoking building, and I have been going out to my car early a.m. to smoke. I am an old lady, 70, so I make sure the doors are locked and windows cracked about 3 inches.
The other morning I heard rustling in the leaves and got spooked till I realized I had 2 baby deer less than a foot from my passenger window. I started talking to them in corny old lady baby talk and a 3rdbaby and mom showed up. I thought it was so cool. They just stared at me like I was nuts, a look I am quite familiar with my own babies. lol 😆 So yeah baby deer like baby talk.🦌

When I was six or so I read that part of Harry Potter where Dumbledore laments not receiving socks for his birthday and I thought that was absolutely sensible. From that day I began talking about socks but unfortunately as I had a school uniform and was also six I did not have the freedom I wanted.

In the UK you wear a school uniform and my school was horrible about black socks. The day I left I threw away all my socks and now I don’t own a single pair of black socks. My friends and family have gifted me socks several times; I wear them to job interviews and important events.

For the biggest exam I had sat to that point I wore a pink pair with hearts.

For an interview I wore bright yellow socks. They stuck out because my suit was black and my trousers were tapered but no one said anything and I liked them.

My mum stole my favourite stripy blue pair but I let her because I love her.

I have a fluffy white pair with pink stars which are very comfy, and they have grips at the bottom so I don’t slip.

The closest pair I own to ‘plain socks’ are covered in lace and very cute.

I have one covered in smoking pipes which is rather ridiculous because I don’t smoke in any capacity but they are also very comfortable and I got them from my brother’s city.

I don’t have a pair of socks I don’t like. Also, my socks never get mixed up with anyone else’s. I love all my socks, I own a very sensible amount. I have some Autumn themed ones that I have been wearing recently for obvious reasons. When my day sucks I put on a new pair of socks and feel better, and when I can be bothered, I theme them to my day (if my mum did not steal them my blue stripy socks would be my socks for going swimming because the blue is reminiscent of a swimming pool).

I went out in public with unzipped pants. Hopefully noone saw.

It's a small road, 15- 20 houses? And at least 12 friendly cats. Everytime I go outside there's at least two cats. We go spotting for them whenever we go outside. I tried to get ones attention and ended up with six! All wanting smooths! It's been two weeks, and they are starting to recognise us and come over before we call them. I've picked up three of them so far, and all three were very happy to stay in my arms and cuddle. I was having a dreadful time earlier, I had to go get bread and milk but I had cuddles on the way to asda, and the way back. It cheered me right up.

One of my favourite benign enjoyments is getting a calendar reminder that my bins are due to be collected tomorrow and I’ve already put them out. I just always feel like I’ve unlocked alll the grown up achievements that day.

A lot of single detached houses have been fenced off in my neighborhood for mid-rise development. The houses are now taken over by squirrels. They seem really content, having shelter and protection. It sounds weird but the squirrels aren't very squirrelly. They don't seem anxious at all. You can walk quite close to them before they run away. I saw a squirrel eating half an apple on the front porch of one of these houses today, even.

i'm an early riser, my partner isn't. while i'm getting ready to go out i can hear him shuffling about in our bed. it's become routine now for me to give him a goodbye kiss before dashing off to get my bus. i don't exactly remember when it started, but i remember my initial confusion when he'd start puckering up waiting for me to lean down and give him a kiss. i was caught off guard and laughed really hard, thought it was ridiculously cute. he vaguely remembers when he does this, he's even in deep sleep sometimes he doesn't even realise when I've gone. but everytime i'm about to leave, i'll hover over him and wait for him to do his signature "fish face". and he always does it :)

I woke up to this realization a couple years ago. I have always tended to look up at the trees when I'm outside, but that particular day it was gray and drizzling and the trees had lost their leaves and I let my eyes follow the branches of the limbs all the way to the end. They reminded me of some of the computer generated Mandelbrot fractals my dad showed me when I was a kid. More recently I learned that Leonardo da Vinci had a whole mathematical theory about the branching of trees. I never was good at the hard sciences, but trees make me feel a little less antagonistic towards mathematics.

I walk my dogs around the same block every day on my morning work break. We have lots of trees here. Deciduous and evergreens. In the spring I like to watch the leaves unfurl and then the flowering trees blossom and explode. Walking the block in late spring when they blooms are out and fragrant feels like heaven. In the summer I enjoy the shadows they cast and the variety of luscious shades of green. In the winter I am fascinated by the dark bare branches against cloudy grey skies. I watch the evergreens catch snow and droop their branches under the weight. I like to shake the branches and make a mini snowstorm for my dogs to enjoy.

Right now it is fall and I am obsessed. I see the same trees on my walk every day but they never look quite the same. The colors are always a little bit different. The background sky is always a little different. The way the sun shines through the branches and the way the light falls on the leaves changes day to day. My favorite part is watching the gradient change of the leaves, both as part of the whole tree and also on the individual leaves. The trees that go from green to yellow to orange to red are the best. It's like a rainbow. But on a tree. I do love the trees that are blazingly bright. But even the oak that ultimately goes brown takes on a bit of purply-red first. One time I found a tree that had just one leaf hanging on for dear life to a skinny little branch. I took a picture. Then I painted a picture of it on a card. I did not know who to send the card to because who wants a sad picture of a lonely little leaf? Eventually I sent it to my son who lives in a warm climate and said he was missing fall. Poor kid.

On my walks I collect pretty leaves like children do. I take them home and look at them until they go dry and crumble. Every single one is different. It doesn't matter how many leaves I look at. It never gets old. I never lose the excitement and fascination.

My friend gave me a bread machine last year because she wasn’t using it. The machine had a delay timer function where you can set it up overnight and it’ll be done at the time you choose. After some testing, I found my favorite whole wheat bread recipe that turns out how I like it every time.

Now I just need to get out of bed and enjoy some bread! ❤️

Every morning my bus drives by a construction site and at that exact time the workers are doing group warm up exercises. I don’t know why I smile whenever I see them but it makes me happy to think they want to start their day off right.

Had a limo th a t was perfect; it's supposed to be premium but premium is slow so the driver just accepted my ride.

My boyfriend and I recently hit our one year anniversary and spent an amazing weekend together. I was watching my cousin’s dog while she’s out of town, and as soon as she met him she instantly loved my boyfriend. We took her to meet my boyfriend’s dog too and she had a great time. Afterwards, he spent the night and we watched Friends and cuddled until we fell asleep together. He gifted me an amazing hair tool that I’ve been wanting and I love it so much. He’s been mentioning he wanted airpods because he lost his a while back, and since he’s never had any airpods other than the gen1’s I went out and bought him airpod pros. I also got him a silicone case for them and weaved a short keychain for it (friendship bracelet style) out of his favorite colors. I wrote a sappy card for him too and am so excited to see him tomorrow and surprise him!!

So I made soup for him, I bought him Gatorade, and he let me put Vicks on his back. It feels nice to take care of another person :)

When I was a teenager my dad insisted I stay home one Halloween because he was going out of town and didn’t want my mom opening the door for lots of strangers by herself at night.

I was royally pissed at first (I couldn’t appreciate how significant passing out candy to the trick or treaters was to my mom at an age where Halloween just meant ‘parties’.)

As a passive resistance to the situation I was determined to make it fun for myself and not for anyone else. I taped a couple long rectangular sheets of white butcher paper to either side of me and said I was a stick of gum. I only gave out plain chewing/breath gum.

By the end of the night I totally understood why my mom enjoy passing out candy so much (the budding start of my career in education, haha.) And I felt terrible about the stunt.

The next year I dressed up in a regular costume with plenty of candy. The kids were… upset! They said “I thought you’d do something weird again like the gum thing.”

So the next year I got an orange shirt and some orange face paint and said I was “orange.” I handed out oranges (simpler times, you didn’t have to give only prewrapped items.) My mom got in on the fun by only giving out candy with orange wrappers, even.

Now it’s a running joke in the neighborhood, and a bit of a mythos for kids born later than I started doing this, that my house always has a quirky surprise. One year I dressed as a crayon and gave out packs of crayons, one year I was a doctor and gave out band aids, etc.

This year I found a ranch dressing bottle costume at Walmart. I’m going to give out food court style packets of ranch. I cherish these little insider moments with the kids in my community.

Just one song I know somebody likes here, a joke that will make someone else laugh included in the decoration... I want my day to not be only about me, but also about everyone that I love. I really doubt they'll notice these details, though; I'm just happy to have them incorporated into me.

I have three more interviews lined up in the next couple of weeks. None of them the most ideal job, whether because it's part-time so no full-time benefits, or because it's further away than I wanted it to be. But I'm glad to have them lined up; I can make sacrifices in certain aspects of the job, and I cannot wait to leave my current one. Here's hoping one of them reaches out after the interview with good news.