/r/AntiJokes
Jokes that aren’t jokes
Please read the FAQ before you post!
What we appreciate:
Anti-jokes (they tend to start like regular jokes but lack a punchline).
Original content or trying to provide a source.
Good behavior and following reddiquette.
What we don't appreciate:
Regular jokes (punchlines, puns, etc).
Reposted anti-jokes (take a look at what's already been posted).
Bad behavior and spam.
What is an anti-joke?
From Wikipedia: Anti-humor is a type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value.
Related Subreddits:
Unrelated subreddits:
For more information about anti-jokes check out this video by Vsauce explaining and discussing what anti-jokes are.
/r/AntiJokes
262,521 Subscribers
What do you get when you cross a lion with a dog?
No you don't.
21:48 UTC
Want to hear a HIPPA Joke?
Sorry, can't tell you.
21:26 UTC
Walk a mile in another man's shoes
and you're likely to get blisters
21:20 UTC
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway
20:10 UTC
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
19:03 UTC
You’re standing on thin eggshells
- You’re standing on thin ice
- Walking on eggshells
13:31 UTC
Women are like strawberries.
Sometimes they're at the grocery store
10:18 UTC
If groomsmen were half-horse and bridesmaids half-whores, how many humans are in a wedding party of 10?
Groom + Bride + Bridesmaids 4 + (Groomsmen 4 x 1/2) = 8 Humans
07:34 UTC
A smart lady and a dumb lady walk into a bar...
The smart lady orders a cranberry juice and the dumb lady orders a shotglass of hydrogen peroxide. The smart lady has to explain to the dumb one that you can't drink peroxide. So, she settles for a champagne glass full of tap water. 🙄
The two ladies finish their beverages and go home and argue about bills. Turns out they're mother and daughter.
02:31 UTC
What starts with F and ends with K?
No it doesn't.
02:28 UTC
A Catholic priest, a Protestant priest and a Jewish rabbit walk into a bar
“I feel like there’s something wrong here” the rabbit says.
“Oh shit it’s a talking rabbit!” The Catholic priest says.
16:56 UTC
Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?
He had early onset of dementia
14:09 UTC
What happens if you say Beetlejuice three times?
Nothing.
13:04 UTC
What’s with the price of eggs these days? I had to get a second mortgage on my house just to egg somebody else’s.
Like, because it costs a ridiculous amount of money for that many eggs.
12:51 UTC
The aspiring comedian
Bobby Wendell is an office worker who secretly wants to be a stand-up comedian. (Yes, it sounds made-up, and it is, but try and go along with it for the sake of the anti-joke.) Bobby goes to an open-mike night at a club in downtown Brooklyn. When it's his turn, he takes the mike. "Heya, folks, I'm Bobby W! Not to be confused with that 'George W.' fella - now what was he famous for again?" There is scattered laughs, and a few boos (due to their dislike of former President Bush.) The few boos (even tho not directed at him) threw off Bobby's rhythym, and as a result he gives a basically mediocre set. He only gets polite applause at the end, but he can tell that he didn't knock it out of the park. He goes home, drinks himself into oblivion, and has a terrible hangover the next day. He resolves that stand-up comedy is not for him, after all.
04:33 UTC
There was a doctor who loved hazelnut daiquiris.
Every day after work, he would stop at the same bar and have one. The bartender got accustomed to this, and every day he would have the daiquiri ready at the right time.
One day, the doctor was on his way when suddenly the bartender realized he was completely out of hazelnut. He panicked and made the drink with hickory instead.
The doctor took one drink and said, “This is delicious!”
04:05 UTC
Why can't non-avian dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they're dead.
21:51 UTC
I went to a dairy products shop and
All it had was Dairies.
20:52 UTC
Harry and Hermione had to name an atomic particle but could not think of a good one
So they had to electron.
19:37 UTC
Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands?
18:01 UTC
If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
Yeah
15:56 UTC
What do you get if you cross a chicken and a chihuahua?
All answers are welcomed, thank you in advance.
08:16 UTC
What did the cow say to the man?
Moo
05:57 UTC
A rabbi walked into a Bar
Mitzvah
05:56 UTC
What Happened After Clowns Crashed Their Car Into A Pie Truck?
They died.
04:38 UTC
What did the mummy say after getting detention?
Nothing. Mummies can't talk. They're dead bodies.
04:21 UTC
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic?
Nothing, because bodies of water can't talk.
00:12 UTC
You know what’s the best time to go to the breast cancer specialist?
Once every year to do check ups, you don’t have to wait until you feel a lump in your breast to go. And if there’s a history of breast cancer in your family then probably more than just once yearly as indicated by your specialist. Stay safe y’all.
19:31 UTC
What did the German soldier say to the other?
I don’t speak German I have no idea
07:35 UTC
What is the biggest obstacle for Indians in becoming hurdling athletes?
Lack of sports infrastructure.
00:28 UTC