Hi all, so I’m pretty sure I have vaginismus. I’m a 26 year old girl and a virgin. I am attracted to men but even the thought of penetrative sex makes me clench up. I’ve been in a situation before where I wasn’t able to do it. I’ve always viewed it as a type of anxiety not a physical problem.

Does anyone think vaginismus could be linked to a certain personality type? I’m very type A, never had a long term boyfriend, I’m a new attorney, I don’t drink alcohol because I don’t like how it makes me feel out of control etc. overall I’m just a strong minded person and that likes to feel in full control of myself. Maybe the idea of submission to someone else is anxiety inducing to me? I know these are questions for a therapist, I’m mostly just wondering if any of you ladies have experienced similar patterns? I’ve considered if I’m asexual, but I don’t think so, I’m attracted to men and I want to eventually be comfortable with someone enough to have sex.

Hi I just wanted to ask and see what people’s dating experiences are like whilst dealing with vaginismus.

I have very limited dating experience for my age, the rest of my friends have had multiple relationships both casual and long term, whereas I’ve had one two month relationship which for me was quite unpleasant both in general and sexually.

As I’m getting older I’m finding myself wanting to try and date but I genuinely don’t know how to go about it. My one boyfriend I already knew and then I asked him out and then we dated it was fairly simple. But I don’t actually know any men these days due to my job and having a very small social circle.

How do you find men react to you having vaginismus? How do you broach the subject? How do you not let your vaginismus negatively affect your sexual relationship?

I’d be really interested to hear peoples stories both positive and negative, thank you :)

Hi. Does anyone have a problem with lube wearing off? First 2 mins are okay then i start getting the burning sensation again. Is it normal?

Hey yall. So I've gone through my dilator kit. Even but the two largest sizes from vuvatech. I decided to advance to a realistic dildo. The divo from uberrime. It took several attempt. I almost gave up. But I'm finally able to insert and thrust it in and out. But it does not feel good. I know it took a while to get pleasure from the dilators. But this feels a bit different like friction. Is this what to expect from sex? How can I get some pleasure from this?

I was inspired by u/babykyyyo ‘s post the other day to make my own challenge for myself! I realized I’ve been so behind on taking care of my pelvic floor health since the school year has started and I live in the dorms again. I thought it would be useful to post here so I can have some accountability/support. vaginismus has so much shame and secrecy attached to it, I think it’s so healing to be able to talk about it. reading others’ experiences helps me so much.

I’m going to journal my goals so I can compare at the end! I’m going to try to go until the end of my semester, then re-evaluate.

Goals:

• stretches every day (twice a day once that becomes a habit), including a few minutes of diaphragmatic breathing and reverse kegels
• track urination frequency, bc I struggle with it :/ Also remember to use my squatty potty each time! my pt recommended it to help me fully relax my pelvic floor but sometimes in a rush I forget to use it

-also drink more water for healthy muscle relaxation! my goal will start with 2 water bottles full a day in addition to other drinks

• dilate once a week. I know this is below the recommended use, but it’s really difficult to find time to do this in a shared dorm room.
• use the kiwi to external massage 3x a week (internal if I feel up to it?!)
• start going to therapy again to cure my traumas or whatever because my old therapist moved :’(

I really really want to be able to achieve PiV on my honeymoon in July! of course my fiancé and I are fully prepared if that doesn’t happen (he’s amazingly supportive), but it’s an exciting motivation and sometimes I need that in order to take care of myself.

Hi everyone! I’ll save the entire backstory because it’s the same as I’m sure nearly everyone here (pelvic floor therapy, dilators, etc have not worked, penetrative sex is excruciating)

My question to any doctors in this group or just anyone who has suffered from excruciatingly painful PIV intercourse is this- what info do we have on surgical interventions?

I am so tired of not being able to have enjoyable penetrative sex with my husband- it’s not fair. Does anyone know if there are any kind of operations that can widen the vaginal opening, adjust the skin, tissue, muscles or nerves around it? I have done some research on perineoplasty and I think that might be an option (I’ll be asking my GYN next week) but wanted to see if anyone here is more knowledgeable on the subject or has any personal experience or insight!

Thanks everyone! If you are experiencing the same thing I want to say I am so deeply sorry, it’s not your fault, and it doesn’t make you less of a woman! Okay thanks bye!!

Very weird day. Last night I went to sleep with (biblically) with a friend who usually is understanding of my condition and never penetrates me. In the middle of the night I went to the bathroom without clothes (I thought everyone would be asleep that time, my fault) and found his roommate. Let’s call him John.

John insisted today he wanted to sleep with me (with a semi erection 🤨) but he said he didn’t have even minutes to spare reading a “guide” I wrote about my pain (even though he somehow had time to sleep with me and try to convince me to do so…) and insisted in gatekeeing his exact length (even though he is known to be above average) and refused to let me measure it also. To make matters worse, he told me he would be a busy friend and didn’t have the patience to know me first.

In the end, i told john he was the one who could not even imagine himself with me. I was giving him hope and he was saying no to everything I tried to make sex with him even possible.

I don’t see it as me rejecting him. I think the woman he saw naked (again, my fault) was not even me. She is inside me but she is very deep inside. I am also a human being he doesn’t want to be involved with in any way (not that I’m asking him to be my boyfriend, I’m recently single and I’m one of the few women who are actually happy about casual sex with friends. I’m not even asking him to cater to my needs, just to leave me alone if he won’t care).

Just because he judged me physically attractive doesn’t mean he wanna sleep with me. He doesn’t. And still I’ll be seen as the one who rejected him.

It is just a rant, but feel free to tell me anything. I still don’t believe this happened to me

Hey! I was searching about silicone dilators and just came across with something. They say there is a vibrator just for vaginismus. It has nodes(?) that are same size. And thay even made a package with dilators + that vibrator. I don't know if anyone used it or can say if it's helpful or not. Its price is OK so maybe i might think to buy it but don't wanna decide before asking anyone.

There used to be automatic posts for progress checkin, is anyone interested in bringing those back? I tried contacting the mods, but I haven't heard back yet - not sure if I did it correctly.

This is how they were, maybe we can use this one as a kick-off

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Let the vaginismus community know how you're doing!

Make an appointment? Starting dilators? Have questions about the current point of your treatment? Let us know!

I (20F) was diagnosed with vaginismus about 2 years ago. Went through pelvic floor therapy, dilators, the whole shabang - went from not even being able to insert a pinky to being able to use size 4-5 dilators with little to no pain, as well as tampons on my period. I was even able to have PIV intercourse with my now partner, which was a huge achievement for me. It was very intimate and I felt a lot closer to my partner afterwards and it was tolerable, but I wouldn’t say it was physically pleasurable. I felt a little stuck afterwards. For so long, penetration alone seemed so far in the future and I didn’t even consider what my journey would look like after that was possible. Now I’m at the point where I really want to enjoy penetrative sex, but every I use a dilator or an inserted vibrator, it just doesn’t feel pleasurable and I can’t see how it could be. Not to mention my partner is long distance, so it’s currently not possible to engage in PIV intercourse frequently or regularly. Does anyone have any tips on how to feel sexual pleasure from penetration as someone with vaginismus?

My bf managed to put two fingers inside me. I did not feel any pain, I simply didn't really feel anything? I didn't even notice a difference between one or two fingers, although he told me I felt so tight he was worrying I might break his fingers lol xD

Tbh the not feeling anything part kinda scares me - is that common?

I realised I had vaginismus at the ripe age of 19. At first I just wanted to try penetrative masturbation with a toy I’d bought, I didn’t realise this would be an issue as I was pretty comfortable w clitoral masturbation. The issue started when every time I would try I would experience a searing pain. I quickly gave up and tried with my fingers thinking it was due to me not having sex before, this was also an issue and led me to be even more worried as I couldn’t get one in. I then tried using a tampon and failed also, my friend (🤣🤣🤣🤣) bless her, tried to help me put a tampon in on my 19th birthday and said it’s like there’s a wall preventing her from going any further. This is when I did more research and became aware of vaginismus. Since then I have bought dilators. Mine comes in a set of 4, I have never gotten past the third one (this is over the space of at least 9 months) and I’ll even go back on progress I’ve made and end up not being able to insert the 3rd one. All of a sudden the third one I was able to use the day before is hurting so bad at just the entrance…It’s really upsetting and frustrating. And honestly the more I try and fail the more devastated I feel. I have also been worried about being a virgin at 21, despite the fact that I know people lose it much later it really adds to the helplessness of the situation. Because even if I had the chance I wouldn’t be able. It really adds to the whole feeling that I am broken or something. I’ll be so real I am not okay 🤣 and I have no one to discuss it with. really adds salt to the wound when you’re already a depressed and single girl in your early twenties tbh. Just wanted to share in case anyone feels alone. The worst part is when I read these types of stories from other girls I never think it takes away from their value as a human being, I wonder why I can’t direct that understanding towards myself.

I’ve been struggling with vaginismus for 2.5 years when I got married. I did some PT and made a lot of progress. I can insert the biggest intimate rose dilator with minimal pain. PIV is still tough tho especially recently. I want to start going to PT again but I’m 29 weeks pregnant. I feel like birth will change everything down there so any work I do now will be for nothing. Thoughts?

Please help me understand

So for a little back round…I’m 22f & I’ve never had a relationship which is something i always wanted but i’ve just given up and i’m okay with being alone for the rest of my life lol but i have tried to have sex twice in my whole life & both of those times were unsuccessful because i have a condition .I wanted to have sex just to lose my virginity at one point,so i just said fuck it & for the most part I do feel sexual attraction but for some reason when it comes to actually doing the act i’m not turned on.I can be very attracted to a man & want to have sex with them but when we’re actually alone and we’re actually supposed to get down to business my body just shuts down and doesn’t wanna do it.I watch porn and i can get turned on but it’s like i can only get turned on when im alone.I want so badly to know what sex is like and i want to be able to have a normal sex life but for some reason it’s like my brain wants it but my body rejects it.Does anyone else have this problem?

I want to know if this is due to constant rejection my whole life or is it actually me being asexual.

Hi, I have been dialating for a while, but my improvements are very slow recently. And I would like to get to bigger sizes soon as I am impatient. Do you think it is safe to dialate everyday? Please I need advice 😔

Today in my anatomy class one of the girls next to me was talking about the 4B movement and asked my lab partner and I if we would participate and I made a joke that I’ve been participating. She goes “wait - you’ve never had sex? like ever?” and I told her I haven’t and at first she gave me all the classic “good for you! wait until you’re ready blah blah blah” lines. But the second I said it was due to a condition that makes penetration near impossible and super painful she goes “well I teared during birth and had to get stitches so I think you’ll be fine with a painful pap smear” like… why would you think that was the appropriate response to that? I mean I’m sorry you tore during birth but at least you can fucking have sex and get medical care without being traumatized. Damn.

I’m not ashamed of this condition and if the topic of sex (or a lack there of) ever comes up I have no problem discussing it because I think there needs to be more awareness of it. With that being said, it’s just disheartening to see how someone’s demeanor can change the second it becomes something they can’t understand.

Tw: mention of suic*dial thoughts and ideation, gender dysphoria, death, severe symptoms

So im a 20 year old cisgender lesbian woman who happens to have a lot of problems. The ones relevant to this post include severe vaginismus, hypothyroidism, pcos, and genetics.

My entire life, my periods have never been normal due to pcos. They come anywhere from twice a month to once every nine months. They are always extremely heavy, unpredictable, and cause unbearable pain. I cant use tampons or menstrual cups due to vaginismus which is fun. I cant wear what i want and i have to cancel plans a lot often. I also get incredibly suicidial during my periods. In summary, i cant think or function and its miserable. This is all due to hormones, mainly my excess testosterone. I have excess hair growth called hirsutism which gives me dark hair on my chest and back, as well as a beard, moustache, and sideburns if i dont shave. I look in the mirror and see a man, which is delightful.

Since im a lesbian and also have vaginismus, all 'contraceptives' ive tried were solely for hormonal purposes. lve failed 5 birth controls and right now have the kyleena iud (put in under anesthesia) because its the only one that wont affect my ssris. The whole reason i got an iud was a last resort for hormones and also to stop my period... which i recently learned is not guaranteed. I also have lots of physical and mental conditions besides what was mentioned, along with a rare genetic condition with no cure. It slowly kills you over time, making organs fail one by one. It tends to start later in life, and makes living burdensome. Speaking of mental conditions, no one should ever have to suffer like i am currently.

So, this leaves one option left: hysterectomy. Its the perfect solution. I would no longer suffer due to cramps, bleeding, and PMS. Im not planning on having children, at least bio kids. Because of my pcos, its dangerous for to concieve or give birth. Not only could the child die, but i could too. The kid could also get messed up genetics. I do not wish to bring a child into this world who i know is guarenteed to suffer in multiple ways. I want to enjoy and live out my life before it starts going to hell. I dont want a kid to grow up watching their mothers health decline like mine will. And i dont want to go through pregnancy. It sounds and looks miserable imo. Heck, i cant even become pregnant due to my vaginismus... and also lack of interest in men and male genetalia.

But of course theres a catch. Im 20. Too young. People are convinced ill change my mind, meet a nice man and settle down. That its a major surgery and life changing decision that ill regret. People are also saying theres no guarantee i will die and there is a chance the child wouldnt inherit my issues. The thing is, i dont want to take that chance. My country (especially the state im in) values the life- not health or quality of life- of the theoretical child over the mothers. My life is set in stone for me already, and i know what i want. And i dont want to be in pain anymore. And if i do decide that i want kids, i will adopt or foster. Thats what ive wanted to do since i was little.

My parents want me to get vaginal scraping every 3-5 months. The procedure itself is less than 5 minutes, but id have to go under every single time. Also, it wouldnt fix anything, because i never know what is going on with my period. I cant even get a vaginal ultrasound or a pap smear. Meanwhile, a hysterectomy only takes 1-2 hours and is a one time thing. I have experienced all the side effects already, except for bladder prolapse... but that can be treated with pelvic floor therapy.

Im just so tired of being made to wait and explain myself and then being told "well, youre way too young to make that decision. You could chance your mind. Just wait for your period and body to regulate." Ive waited 9 years for my body to regulate, and it refuses. I dont want to put myself through more pain and suffering to prove im worthy. I want relief early so i dont have to miss college or work or plans with other people because of a surprise cramp that wont go away, or the fear of bleeding so much in public.

Im looking at a list of doctors who will do it with little to no questions asked, and i have found a few i will look more into. I just hope someone will understand me and actually listen to me.

So this was my rant. Please send love, support, and advice my way if possible. Times are hard.

i dont know what to do this is so embarrassing and frustrating… but anyway can someone let me know there opinion?? 🥹🙏

also just to clarify i am a virgin - i canot use tampons, like they just will not go in like theres a wall blocking it and i go all lightheaded, i can get the tip of the tampon in and thats it..tmi but i can only shove one finger in there and it goes in without pain, but my vagina walls kinda grip to it and i dont know how its meant to feel good anyway i canot shove 2 in like it just wont go in my vagina is so tight and im really scared for the future because everyone i know is having sex and stuff and its just worrying because i dont know if ill ever be able to because i cant even shove 2 fingers in or use tampons and also i really want kids in the future - this post is so embarrassing but i just need some advice and opinions

I was sent the Silicone Vaginal Dilator Exerciser Set (5 Piece Kit) by VWELL to review, and here are my thoughts:

I have only used Intimate Rose dilators before and one of the first things I noticed was how much longer these dilators are. With other brands like Intimate Rose, you have to move up much further in dilator size to actually get to a dilator that’s long enough to reach those deeper muscles. I really appreciate how long they make these ones so that I can work on those muscles that are higher up my vagina while still staying at a dilator size that isn’t painful. Another great thing about the length was that I was able to for the first time figure out the depth of my vagina, which helped me have a better connection with my body and build more confidence that I could have pain free penetration.

When dilating, I still don’t stop on days I have my period. With VWELL dilators, they are much easier to keep clean because there is no logo engraving on the side that you have to scrub at. These dilators are so much faster to clean, and I don’t feel as worried about getting any bad bacteria inside my vagina with them.

When using these dilators, the base is wide enough that it’s comfortable to hold, and I don’t feel like I’m going to accidentally drop them. I’ve found that using a pillow underneath my hips works well with insertion, and squatting helps with getting them out.

The size range is great to me. There is a 10 piece version if you need a more gradual change from size to size, but I’ve found with this smaller set I’m still able to move up dilators without much pain. I also use my dilator to physically stretch my vagina from side to side to help stretch all those deep pelvic floor muscles and to get myself to the next dilator.

I also showed these to my physical therapist, and she loved the length of them! She also pointed out that some of her trans patients might like these more because of the length and size to help retain depth after surgery.

Overall, I would highly recommend these dilators over any others; they are so effective, and I don’t have any complaints.

Hi everyone! I got the opportunity to be sent a 5 piece VWELL silicon vaginal dilators set and am coming on here to share my experience. I have definitely been seeing an improvement! I usually used the dilators around once a day for 15-20 minutes and did some pelvic floor exercises. I am still working my way through the different sizes but so far I have been able to successfully move up 2 sizes!! It has been so refreshing and relieving to experience penetration without any pain. The product was also very easy to use and clean. The only thing I can say is they do have a strong silicon smell but that doesn’t really bother me, personally. I am so happy that about my results so far as I have been struggling with vaginismus for some time now. Although I knew this wouldn’t be a quick solution, it is definitely worth the try!

Hey, y'all. Let cut to the chase.

I always had plans of getting sterilized, even before my diagnosis, and due to, uh... recent events, I'm about to lock in. However, I'm very concerned about what this condition could mean for the whole process.

Pelvic exams and pap smears, recovery, even just getting approved for a sterilization procedure to begin with. Does anyone here have any experience with this process? I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you.

Hello Friends,

I am an avid poster in my vaginismus facebook group, but am posting here tonight. I found out my partner cheated on me tonight. Although he SAYS he didnt physically cheat, he went to her house, bought her shoes and she sent explicit photos (he has a foot / lingerie fetish so thats a big deal) and the texts are self explanatory enough to imply they did have sex. I know he loves me, and he makes mistakes, and hes not perfect. But I do deserve better, and he has said this too. Its just fustrating and I wonder if I could have free painless and wild penetrative sex if he wouldnt have cheated. I hate he went to her house and gave her the attention that only I deserved while I have this ring on. Anyways. So now i am looking at apartments, but im just feeling down and could use some encouragement from this community. I am 28 btw, and never have had penetrative sex, but did successfully insert size 2 dilator last month when i had never had a pinky in before so that is my success story! Send me love becuase i have a pap smear on the 20th that i am hoping goes midly well, and i am going to schedule a PT pelvic floor appointment for myself.

Preliminary info:

• Throwaway account because I don't want posts about my sexual health tied to my location and profession.
• I received the VWell Pelvic Arc Wand for free in exchange for an honest review. I'm reviewing a few other of their products that I've purchased.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Lil background info on me:

30's, partnered (long-term >10 years). I have dealt with insertional pain for as long as I can remember though my case seems milder than what I sometimes see here. My gyn agrees that it's a mild case of vaginismus and recommended dilators (and seeing a pelvic floor physical medicine doctor if I wanted to). I opted to take to dilator route which led to VWell and this sub.

Another kind of relevant detail that may be relatable, I've dealt with IBS-C since my late teens and the constant pressure in my rectum is part of the culprit of my vaginal discomfort. It was bad enough that I would sometimes bleed vaginally after bowel movements (please no health advice, I have a great gyno&gi docs). Thankfully, I got in touch with a afformentioned GI doc, did a scope to rule out other stuff (all normal except lactose intolerance), and was told I need to be aggressive with my constipation management. I've been on Miralax daily for months and cut out dairy completely, both literally gave me my life back (as well as addressing my mental health issues - ADHD and GAD). I think these are all relevant moving pieces to my vaginismus puzzle, so just mentioning!

Anyways, my partner and I have been very sexually inactive for years due to the issues listed above. Nbd because we're both the kind of people who feel like sex is nice but are fine going without for a while. I talked about wanting to incorporate sex into our lives again but needed to introduce dilation to make it better for me. He is super understanding and is cool with me having all of my "tools" out during sex.

Enter Vwell products! I sprung for the InMotion Dilator Set and their lube (I purchased both of these on my own) I later was offered the Arc Pelvic Wand Massager (gifted in exchange for a review). I'll blurb my reviews below:

• InMotion Dilator Set - I haven't tried any other dilators, so I can't really compare but I'll outline my impression of these. Overall, I'm glad I went with these. I like the rotating beads in the larger dilators, it's nice to just let them hang out in there and massage away. The smallest is about the size of a tampon and the largest is what I'd consider *slightly* larger than an average penis. I don't like the USB charger, wish it were USB-C, small gripe but it's 2024! The set does what I need it to do, no gripes, would recommend.
• Lube - Y'all! Don't sleep on this lube!! It's so good - toy-compatible, long-lasting, fragrance-free, dye-free, affordable, etc. I will not be buying another lube after trying this one. I also like neutral looking bottle.
• Pelvic Arc Wand (gifted) - I really enjoy this addition to my "tool box". This is really great as like a pre-dilator insertion warm up for just outside your vaginal opening. It's a wand, so it's more intended for working out uncomfortable spots in your vaginal canal, but I like it more as an entry level toy for easing into having something in your vagina. The vibrations are excellent. I'm very picky about vibration style - the Minna Limon (also another great vaginismus tool - egg style ergonomic vibrator) was my first ever vibrator and truly nothing compares to the quality of rumbly vibration, though the Arc is close. It's very ergonomic and easy to hold and maneuver. I've only gotten to use it solo, but absolutely will use it next time I have partnered-sex as a pre-insertion warm up. Attaching pics of the device to show how nice and easy it is to hold and how approachable the size is. At $40 bucks, I would totally recommend this as part of a holistic vaginal health plan.

https://preview.redd.it/3xxwvsp63lzd1.jpg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6c8f38f9a7a360ee8a92b29a1b5229ddbbd22c5

https://preview.redd.it/qjcw0fma3lzd1.jpg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20b217eb13ead1e7a2a40164420daa84e45891fb

• Honorable mention - Pelvic Gym Website - The videos are kind of low quality, but the info and expertise are awesome. I purchased 2 months worth and watched a handful of their dilator series. Would recommend for anyone getting started. $10/mo, so quite affordable.

With the above tools, I was able to have enjoyable sex again. I still don't orgasm from penetration (which is totally fine!), but at least it's not painful anymore and I enjoy having the closeness that comes from intercourse back in my life. I'm still generally a moderate to low sex drive girly, but when I'm on, I'M ON ya know? and it's nice knowing that if I need to re-condition my vagina to be ready for sex, I've got what I need.

That is all!

Hello everyone,

I’m Diane, the Community Manager for VWELL, an intimate wellness company based in City of Industry, California. It’s great to connect with you all!

We’re currently seeking participants to try a VWELL product at no cost, share their real-world experience, and post in relevant Subreddit communities. Selected participants will also be compensated for their time and feedback.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, please use this link : https://linktr.ee/vwell_brand, and choose the “Want to Help Review VWELL Products?” option to fill out the form.

Feel free to DM me directly or email me at diane.l@intimd.com if you have any questions. I’m here to help and would love to chat more about our campaign.

Thank you, Mods, for the opportunity to share!

has anyone here ever successfully inserted a copper iud? i’m currently on the pill and have been for 3 years but it has absolutely killed my sex drive and i’m convinced the hormones are the reason why. i wasn’t like this before i was on the pill.

i just want my libido back while still being protected since my bf and i do have piv (not pain free yet). i’ve had one successful gyn appointment where they inserted a child sized speculum fairly easily, it wasn’t nice but i wasn’t really in a lot of pain either. i know an iud insertion is probably gonna be a hell of a lot worse so i’m just wondering if any of you guys have experienced it? is it even doable?

i’m certainly not cured of my vaginismus and i’m not sure i ever will be fully atp, but i can take smaller sized things without much pain for now at least

I’ve read that vaginismus doesn’t cause itching. I have this but also have an overactive pelvic floor. So would these cause vaginal itching? I have no infections. All clear for everything.

Has anyone done a Pap smear at planned parenthood? Do they use pediatric speculums there? Are they understanding about vaginismus?

My OBGYN has a long waitlist so wanted to see if I could get my pap done at PP?

I have an overactive pelvic floor/ vaginismus. But I don’t know if that contributing to my symptoms. I’m getting a burning acid sensation inside my vaginal walls. Not my bladder or urethra. It’s the vagina itself. Negative for all infections. I did a vaginal microbiome test and I’ve got a lot of lactobacillus crispatus. So that’s good. But my vagina looks red and feels dry. I don’t know what’s going on.

So I can stick tampons and suppositories in with no issue now, no pain and no tension. Even sex with most guys is pain free after the first few thrusts.

But there’s one guy I’m seeing (just a fwb) thats honestly just too big for sex to be truly pain free. It’s still pretty (very) good which is why I’m still seeing him but I don’t know if I can ever get over the entrance pain due to girth. It’s two days after and I’m STILL sore and I even used lots of my favorite water based lube and we had a few drinks beforehand. I don’t want to use lidocaine even though I do have a tube, so I’m thinking maybe sometimes anatomy is incompatible and there’s nothing to do about it? Or do you guys think I just need to find ways to relax more if I see him (I could smoke some weed, lidocaine, etc…)