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Hi everyone I’m in a long distance relationship since 6 months. Everything is going very good so far and I love him so much. We had some ups and downs but solving everything very good together. We will meet up in summer. We speak usually every second day which is not enough for me personally but I accepted it and got used to it. We text everyday though that makes me happy at least. My boyfriend is currently visiting his parents and celebrating Chinese New Year. He texts me everyday not much but couple times. I totally understand he’s spending time with his family and always say him that he should enjoy his time and have fun. But since one week he doesn’t call me and will probably won’t call me till he returns but spends sometimes time on social media or one day his family went out and he watched a movie but could’ve give me a short call. When I was recently with my family on vacation I still managed to call him every second day. I just don’t feel good about that does he not prioritize me or am I overreacting.

First some context

So i (20M) met this guy (21M) on january 1st he is from the USA and i'm from Colombia we have talked a lot about many different topics, we have many things in common and we support each other to the point where we call one another cutie, honey, handsome etc, damn we have even send pics of each other and have some dirty and sexy talk

In around the 14 of this month we had some problems regarding whatever we are and decided that we should just be friends mostly bc being in a long distance relationship could hurt both of us

Fast forward some days later he sends me pics of him after i told him i was bored, i know he shouldn't but i loved it and after some more dirty and sexy talk we decided to be "friends with sometimes benefits"

Fast forward to last week he has been working a whole lot and he has told me he doesn't have much free time and that he wouldn't respond as often

So the thing is here and i have to admit it, i love him, he is really someone special to me and i know i am for him too but he not responding me makes me have doubts and insecurities

So i want to ask you people of the internet could you give me advice? My Dm's are open and i can answer on here too

Sorry if my english isn't the best i'm trying to improve

I'm looking for perspective. Recently my (24M) girlfriend (21F) cancelled a trip that was going to happen over my birthday because of some concerns her friends and family have about me. For clarity, I've visited her twice, and this was going to be her first time visiting me, at her suggestion. I offered to pay for her plane ticket and hotel (because she doesn't make as much as I do) and I thought it was all going well.

Apparently, she hadn't told her family (who she lives with) that I was going to book tickets until I'd already booked (we had discussed this over the course of a week) but before I'd booked the hotel. They pulled her aside for a discussion and just like that, she was concerned and cancelled the trip. It wasn't the first time she'd had concerns about traveling to visit me, and I'd done what I could to put her at ease, so I was confused why the trip was suddenly halted entirely.

It took a few days after cancelling the trip for her to talk about what was bothering her (her entire demeanor changed, so I knew something was wrong) and she finally opened up about what her family had told her as well as what she'd discussed with her friends.

For context, on my first visit, I made a point of meeting her friends and her family and on my second visit spent more time connecting with her friends. Apparently, I didn't make a good impression and was perceived as rude and self centered. I won't go into too many details, but I'd talked to her friends quite a bit since those interactions and was surprised they didn't discuss some of these concerns with me, but had brought other ones to my attention.

It's strange to me that her family (mostly) waited until she had made plans to visit to bring up these concerns about me and about her visiting me. It feels to me like it's a character attack, but I'm trying to be reasonable about it. I know most of the concerns are valid, since I've been in therapy dealing with a lot of the sorts of issues they brought up for years, and have been trying to make steps to work on them, even without her bringing it to my attention.

This is definitely going to put a damper on my birthday celebrations that I was excited to have her there for, but I feel like there's more to this. I've been trying to figure out if I am overreacting to the situation or not and how I should proceed. I'm not sure how much can be done when I can only really meet her family at most twice per year and her friends haven't replied to my messages in literal months.

Thoughts and advice?

So I (20F bisexual) met this girl (20F bisexual) on a online dating app we talked I liked her eventually we started dating LDR starting days were very nice but eventually she started to act toxic and rude one day in an argument i said I want breakup but what I really want was her sorry but she said ok let's break up and not strech it I was broken for 3 days because i stayed with her 4 months in LDR and she broke up with me just the day before we were about to meet for the first time... 3 days later somehow I got her insta password and out of curiosity i went to see her chats with her so called my male bestie (23 M straight) and got to know she was dating him for 4 years ,she was cheating on both of us by double dating .. I confronted her she said she was sorry because its kind of her tendency to cheat but she only love him .. I reached out to this boy and told him about everything he was not surprised because it was not his first time he already knew she was sleeping with 3 more boys .. which supprised me alot but he was not able to let her go as he was in love with her.. So we both helped each other to grow out of her we both broke up with her and started fake dating to make her jealous she cried alot to him for his forgiveness and she wanted him back but I didn't let him go ... Somewhat throughout this whole fake dating thing we started to develop feelings for each other I liked him he liked mee and he started flirting with mee

But now I am confused should I again fall for someone who is going to be in LDR again whom I met online will it's gonna be good or I am again doing the same mistake???? Pls share ur views...

I’m talking to a guy on Snapchat over a year now, every single day we talk on the phone and send snaps, fall asleep on the phone etc that kinda thing. He’s in Australia, I’m in Ireland. We’re not in a relationship or anything but we both don’t want the other person talking to anyone else..? I know we both really like each other and want to meet up but it makes the most sense for me to go there rather than him come here. I’m super nervous about it coz I have bad mental health and self esteem issues and I’m just terrified of travelling all that way (like 20+ hours on planes, then stop over time etc it’s a lot lmao) for him to not like me in person.

The issue is I feel like he treats it casual, as if I’m just a drive away when I literally would have to tell my family who wouldn’t approve, travel by myself, stay with him of course, just go completely out of my comfort zone while he just chills essentially lmaooo.

When I say I’ll come see him he always says yeah or sometimes he’ll say “so when u coming to see me” so it’s a mutual thing we want, but the issue is I know he would never come here to see me which leaves doubts in my mind. As I said it makes more sense for me to go there BUT shouldn’t he at least want to come here for me if I couldn’t make it there? He does say “I’ll have to go to Ireland and get you” but I KNOW he wouldn’t and he just says that because he knows I want to go there (I wanna go to australia in general, even without him). The reason I say I KNOW he wouldn’t come here is because when I do say “why don’t u come here” he says “of course I’d come to get my girl I just don’t know when I’m always busy” which he is busy but like ..?? Shouldn’t he want to make the time? Otherwise why are we talking?

I feel like I’m the one putting all the effort in and I’d feel really really silly(and upset of course but mostly my pride would be hurt lol) if I travelled all that way, out of my comfort zone etc for him to just not really care either way if he’ll like me or not, coz he didn’t have to do anything to make us meeting up happen.

Idk if all this even makes sense.. I just feel like there’s no push or like urgency?? It’s kind of like “yeah come over to see me we’ll do this and this and blah blah blah” but that’s about as far as it goes, there’s no further planning into the actual trip/meetup.. I just have to do everything on my own, show up and kinda hope for the best? It’s like I’m the one that could be at a loss with everything and I’m the one taking all the risk while he just waits for things to happen? Ughhh my brain is fried from it all, I just need advice please I’d really appreciate it!

heyyy, i’m 21 female and i met this guy on hinge around 3 months ago. I live with my parents and i never told them because i didn’t think it would go anywhere serious so there wasn’t a need to tell them. I have hung out with him many times and i always told them i was hanging with friends. they aren’t super strict and in an adult so they trust me. But recently i think he might become my boyfriend so now I have to tell my parents about him. How should I??? Like do i tell them “oh i’ve actually been lying to you i’ve been hanging with a random stranger i met on a dating app“ like ??? idk yall i need help 😭😭idk if they will find it weird or not that i’ve been sneaking around with a guy from the internet so idk im stressed lol

Hey, I met this girl online about 8 months ago and she's been the kindest, friendliest most wonderful girl I've ever known. we would share everything about our lives especially her. she made me the happiest person I've ever been. she made me believe she was not like any other girl

but one day she decided to leave without any trace no explanation nothing. previous to this happening she didn't text for a day and said she forgot her password to her account and couldn't log back in. which is kinda unbelievable because it took her a whole day and a half didn't inform and said everything was fine. my gut feelings said the opposite. I tried reaching to her from everywhere possible, even through her friends but they haven't answerd me either. I can occasionally see her "active" on Instagram but there's literally 0 response from her. my messages get delivered on WhatsApp yet no reply. it's been a complete week now and she has never done this before.

this really hurts me a lot, I'm barely getting sleep over this. my head is constantly hurting and I can't stop thinking about what went wrong. what did I do wrong. please how can I help myself? anything will be appreciated. I have no one to talk about this and it feels really heavy on my heart so I'm asking for anything. thank you

(we don't live in the same country and haven't met, if this helps anyone)

I feel like I need to say everything so this will probably be a bit long

I met her last year online because she was dating my "friend" who I had known online since 2020 and we used to chat a lot. I was in jail all summer while they were together, I got out late September and we were talking a lot before I went in so I texted him but it wasn't delivering. Now at this time I barely knew about this girl at all but I figured she would know so i asked her and he went to jail 2 days before I got out and they had broken up.

I forgot the mention the distance, we are both in the US but on opposite sides of the country something like 2000 miles 😭

But anyways after she told me what happened we just kinda never stopped talking. Before I went to jail 6 months earlier my girlfriend of almost 5 years broke up with me and some other pretty serious shit in my family and she's sad about their break up.

After a week or 2 we were flirting with each other and I wanna say by a month in we were sharing pictures and all that. I told her around this time I'm looking for something serious and she said she was too

Another few weeks go by we are texting all say long and we are starting to talk on the phone 1 or 2 times a week. We start love bombing each other a bit by like 6-7 weeks. . I start questioning the distance and how I can't see her in person yet we have our first little argument shes telling me I need to be more pa so I agree and became more patient because I was falling for this girl more and more everyday.

I think it was late November her ex my friend finally calls her from jail. Before this she didn't think he wanted anything to do with her but she was so happy he called and she started reminiscing about a few memories she had with him and this hurt me so much and when my trust problems started kicking in. She also has a few kids with another guy and they are still legally married but separated. After a few days I brought up how I felt, obviously I was jealous I couldn't make her this happy ☹️

She got defensive and pretty much told me if she wanted to she could get back with her BD or Liam if she wanted to. I said some things, I don't remember exactly what but they didn't help the situation and she ended up blocking me for like a week. I checked everyday I just knew it wasn't over.

Then I finally see I'm unblocked so I text her. I questioned why she unblocked me and I got what i wanted to hear, she told me she missed me and wanted to be with me I agree and we started talking like we were before. The one thing that changed is she stopped sending me the nudes around this time and became less sexual.

We started telling each other we love each other by month 2 and we made the promise to tell each other we love each other everyday and we have both kept that promise 🥹

Now here we are at 4 months in we both have our days but we still stay in regular communication to this day. She calls me her boyfriend in front of other people and tells me she loves me while on the phone both at work and with family. Which makes everything more bel for me.

I've talked to very few people about this but the last person I kinda explained more to( not as much as here) and he told me to cut her off which made me really sad and i indirectly brought it up with her. I have asked multiple times if we are for real, a few weeks back we made it official on Facebook for like a day then I checked her profile a couple hours later and saw that it was removed. This really hurt and I was pretty much in shock because I thought that completely confirmed it was all real. I asked her about it and she told me her BD got into her account and deleted it, I was obviously pissed off and embarrassed because it was shared on timeline and I have family that asked me about it.

Ever since then my trust/insecurity is always at the back of my mind but I really like this girl 🥲 She has shared the same thing that she is scared I'm playing her or something, I've tried to prove my feelings for her in every way I can but she can be a bit distant at times like I'll say something really sweet and she basically ignores it and that hurts too. She apologized about that last week and blamed it on her being too "nonchalant" but she work on it and try to be better. A week goes by and more similar stuff, I was in a bad mood last weekend and I called her at our scheduled time( the last 2 weeks we have been talking on the phone almost daily for at least 30 min) I wanted to tell her what I had going on and why I was feeling shitty but she was having a bad day too. I tried my best to vocalize how i felt and she literally said something along the lines of she didn't want to deal with that bullshit today and that crushed me in a way. I got angry at the time and said some things back and she blocks me again for like a day but she didn't block my phone number. I apologize about what I said and she apologizes too and tells me she was me.

I don't know what to do no one currently knows this about it. Part of me feels like an idiot for continuing this but I at have these strong feelings for me and she continues to say the same.

She has brought up her ex a few times and has told me he is still her best friend and she loves him in a way still but doesn't think it would work out romantically again. Obviously they live in the same town and I'm 2,000 miles away 😭😭😭

I’ve met this person completely online and I’ve had some feelings for them I’ve mostly just wanted to know them more and more of them as a friend or even more than friends I’ve wanted to now them more and more, the more I’ve talked to them the closer I’ve felt but It’s feels hard for me since I’m so scared of these feelings because I don’t know if I’ll be able to take the possible outcome if I ever confessed or not. I’ve looked up all the clues and it’s my feelings are true but I don’t want to rush anything between us, and since I been holding boundaries for myself to respect them and their personal/ online life I don’t how to really talk to them in any way to hopefully bring my feelings up. I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t agree with me in any way possible with this decision since they don’t respect me for who I am and who id want to be so these feelings feel scary and new.

i really really like this girl, shes literally the prettiest and most awesome girl ive ever met in my whole entire life, but i dont want to mess this up. should i confess? its been about 2-3 months of consistent talking, with some drama beforehand leading to a pause in the friendship. shes always nice to me, but she seems to really trust me. what's the best way to approach this, reddit? do i tell her with the intention to ask her out, or do i just wait?

I'm telling my family about my boyfriend, but I fear their reaction

I will give as much context as I can since I believe this will be relevant. Anyway, I'm a 25 year old transgender man and I'm currently dating another trans man online, but he is 20. We have been dating for a year so far and have been very compatible. In terms of romance, sexuality, life goals and personality, we seem to get along really well. However, we have only been dating online and I never told my family about him.

The reason for this is that I fear they might not want me to date this guy. One of the reasons is that he is younger than me and we are in different stages in life (he only has a high school degree, but is looking for a job, I have a college degree and a job). Still, he found ways to come here this year. He doesn't know for sure when, but if things work according to plan, he will be here in my city soon.

Also, he came from a toxic family. The worst is his mom who was very abusive towards him and at least one of his siblings. The thing is, my father strongly believes we must much each other's families to know for a fact if the person is good for us. Considering both the distance and the fact that he will be no contact with his mom really concerns me. My father pretty much convinced his now wife (my stepmom) to have a relationship with her mother who abandoned her when she was pregnant as a teen.

I have absolutely no plans of forcing my boyfriend to have contact with anyone who hurts him and I fully support his decision to be no contact with his mother.

These things make me worried about them trying to manipulate me into stopping dating him. While I do want them to know I have a boyfriend and keep an eye out in case he decides to abuse me, I really don't want them to convince me to leave him for no reason. Not only that, but my father fully expects me and any other of my siblings to end their relationships if he decides he doesn't like the person we're dating. That's no matter the reason.

I plan on having a therapy session to discuss the situation, but I'd like any advice you could have for my case. I still live with family and help by both paying rent along with doing domestic chores. I want to pay all that I own to my bank (I used credit cards, but don't want to anymore) and have more stability at my job (I have a risk of losing it, although I could find another one in case that happens) before I move out.

I first saw her on TikTok a while back and last month, I followed her discord server from her links to make more friends.

I asked about her interests and she’s into gaming and anime and not only that, we both have introverted personalities. The more I talked with her, I realized that I’m slowly falling for her.

So far, I tend to talk to her and give her space for a few days. Is there any advice I should follow?

Ok so I developed feelings for this guy I meant on a dating app a month ago. The first week we were texting everyday basically lovebombing me. 2 weeks in and I notice the messages started getting more sporadic which he apologized for he would still text back or respond the next day. After Christmas he texted sorry forgot to text. I texted "it's ok". He then stopped texting me for 3 days so I got drunk and texted him "happy New year" he replied so we started talking again. The next day I sent him a basic text so he kinda did the same. So I got tired of him showing lack of interest. So I just reacted with haha reaction. After that a week goes by and he texted me out of the blue asking "what's up" I just played it cool so we started talking. Yesterday morning he sent me a pic so I sent him one and no response. Which is normal. If I don't hear from him by today or tomorrow then I guess he's ghosting. So idk what's going on. Friday when we texted I told him sorry for not keeping in contact. He said sorry too. I made up the excuse about my mental heath he said he does the same but like a lot. We're also friends on Facebook the whole week I went no contact he didn't post anything. Then all of the sudden after sending me that Pic. He uploaded his pfp and started posting out of nowhere. What is going on?

met her (19f) yesterday on a sex chat app. i was not doing anything sexual, i just had the cam to my face. i stumble upon her and we just start talking. we were both nervous about each other and so we were looking at each other's screens, but typing at each other. we immediately start flirting, complimenting each other. we keep talking, from small talk to bigger questions, and this lasted for more than 4 hours. it turned a bit sexual after an hour or so, and she was visibly horny. so was i. we never showed each other anything, but we just told each other how we felt and what we would do.

she was hesitant to add me on anything, but then i told her about discord, and she was okay with it. she added me. we kept flirting and it became really sexual. still no pics revealing or vanilla pics.

it's been a day and we had a bit of random back and forth. right now, i don't know where this is going. should i be clear with what i want, and ask her to tell me what she wants. i don't want to feel indebted or get into the state where i am attached or worried about delayed responses because that feeling sucks and i have been there before. something feels very different about when we were on the online chat site; maybe it's because we could see each other and the attraction was stronger. all i want out of this is occasional talking but mostly sexual flirting, sexting, and potentially the same on video.

I (30 m) and this woman (31 f) met on a sex chat site of all places in the middle of the pandemic (~4 years ago). We clicked instantly, talking with one another (and sexting) frequently on our own personal chatroom. While we never ended up putting a label on it, it was clear we had feelings for one another. I never took the initiative to ask for her phone number, since early on she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship. I never asked if her opinion had changed. Unfortunately, about 6-7 months in, she experienced many losses at once, a co-worker as well as a close family member. She told me to bear with her and she needed to prioritize her family and work. I attempted to do so, checking on our chatroom every day for 100 days - but hadn't heard from her. I do recall her discussing a robust social life pre-pandemic and I was scared that as the pandemic lifted with vaccines and what not, her life events as well as focus shifted, leaving little time for me.

I don't think she uses social media or reddit, so I'm sure we won't end up reconnecting, yet I'm still not over it. Does this sub have any advice on this - how to get over this and move on with my life?

Been talking to this person I met online for over a month. We’re not from the same country so we haven’t met yet but we’ve sent photos back and forth. My question is how do I know if this is the start of something or it’s just a situationship lol

I never thought i would be posting this and i am so excited.

We met on reddit 4 years ago.

My girlfriend (F23) and I (F29) met through an online game in September 2023. After two months of chatting, we decided to meet in person, and things quickly turned into a passionate relationship. She’s a university student, studying about five hours away by car, while I’m working six days a week in a small city.

During the early stages of our relationship, she would skip some classes to come and stay with me because I couldn’t take time off work. I admit I wasn’t very mature back then—I always wanted to see her, plan dates, and take her to nice restaurants. Whenever we were together, things felt magical.

However, she always had to return to school, and that’s when things became harder. Long-distance brought more arguments because she didn’t seem as affectionate or warm as she was when we were physically together. This led to misunderstandings, as I thought she wasn’t as invested in the relationship anymore.

The most difficult time came in July this year. We were constantly fighting, and both of us felt unappreciated and misunderstood. It got so bad that we broke up. But even during the breakup, we kept in touch daily, and I realized I truly cared about her. She wasn’t over me either, so in September, we reconciled. I even planned a romantic trip to a small island to make up for the past, and we had a wonderful time together.

That said, things didn’t return to normal right away. I noticed she had started to avoid me emotionally in some ways, likely because of the stress from her studies. After several heart-to-heart conversations, I decided to give her more space and focus on supporting her in ways that wouldn’t overwhelm her, like sending small surprises and gifts to show I care. Over the past three months, we’ve grown closer again, and I’m confident we love each other deeply.

Now, the challenge is the future. She’s preparing for graduate school, and we don’t know where she’ll end up working after graduation. I can’t move to her city because my current job is tied to a promise I made to my uncle (he’s also my boss). He supported me financially during a tough time in my life, so I feel obligated to help him grow the company in return.

I dream of me and girlfriend living together one day, but it feels so uncertain. How can we navigate this?

We met online 2 years ago, and we were in a relationship from mid September up to early December. Shortly before his trip, he broke-up with me: One of the reasons why was our frequent fights. However, the same night he expressed his interest in still wanting to see me, pushing through with our plans, and spending time together physically. I noticed his coldness though. We were supposed to visit a friend of his who's also living in my country but on a separate island. He booked our tickets, but my departure date was a day later than his. He said one of his reasons why was he was nervous in doing intimate activities with me (he's still a virgin).

Last Tuesday, Dec. 10 it was the date of his arrival to my country. He was giving updates, though he said that his internet connection was slow (his sim card was on roaming). However, when he was at the baggage area he completely ignored my chats and calls. He had a scheduled domestic flight that night to that friend I described in my previous paragraph so I was extremely worried that we might not have enough time to meet that night. I was feeling angry at him, but that was superseded by my feelings of being worried for him. I reached out to his friend, and he just said that my ex-bf is fine. I messaged my ex, telling him that I needed to go home because I was feeling hungry and I didn't want the train stations to close. I told him that we would just meet the next day with his friend on that separate island. However, before I went back home I received his most haunting message: He had to flew back immediately to his country. His reason was: His luggage was tampered. Three of the zippers were broken, his card inside was stolen, and his luggage tag with name and details was lost as well. He told me that his mental state collapsed, he felt vulnerable with his luggage, he didn't want anything worse to happen in his life and he said sorry for never meeting me in person, and it was probably for the best. He sent me some money for my effort in seeing him but not being able to push through. I didn't ask for it, because I know that he already lost a lot of money because of his cancellation. The planned trip would've not happened if he didn't intend to see me. One painful thing was he was able to inform his friend about his cancellation of trip, but he said that he couldn't face me. I just thought that he knew that friend for quite some time and met in person, but he had trust issues on me.

For context: It was his first ever overseas travel, he was uncomfortable during the almost 9-hour direct flight and he couldn't sleep because he has big legs. I'm 3 hours behind from his time zone. He received lots of doubts about going overseas from people around him and they accused me of being a scammer, only in for his money, fraud, etc. He admitted that he was initially feeling excited but felt dazed upon his arrival. He sent pictures of his broken luggage zippers upon my request so he's not lying. Also, he has been formally diagnosed of having autism spectrum disorder since he was a child. One of the reasons why I received those accusations from people around him was we didn't have video calls until November as he had a hard time in expressing himself through voice and video calls compared to chats.

I've been feeling heartbroken because I felt that he was selfish. Yes, we broke up but it was him who was still interested in meeting-up when I was originally about to move-on already. But I've been also trying to understand his mental state, and I myself had experiences of having big reactions on what other people perceive as small things. Today, we are two ex-partners who are still in communication and acting like a couple, without obligations, responsibilities, and ties. Because we weren't able to continue with our plans here in my country, 2 nights ago we had a sexual live show through video call. I told him that maybe I can forgive him but I can't fully heal about what happened. We both stated our desires to still meet one another in the future. We still love each other. But right now, I feel lonely. He's out there with his friends, having a good time while I'm here lonely and broken. I'm unemployed (long story why), don't have much friends (another reason of our fights was our differences), have more boring hobbies compared to him. I have symptoms of depression. He's supposed to be here in my country right now, with me but he isn't. I feel like he's more okay with it than me, saying words such as he "probably" took the wrong path, maybe it wasn't meant to be, the deicision was something that he will live with, etc. One of his other friends also advised that he might have problems on our immigration due to his double flight in my country back and forth last December 10. He told me that he's contemplating about his future travel here again for a proper meeting with me, but he's waiting for the flight prices to go down in addition to immigration issues.

It's a lot easier for him to visit me in my country because he has a stronger passport, he doesn't need a visa. When it comes to me, I have to acquire a visa together with supporting documents, I am financially broke, it'll be more expensive, and our immigration office is notorious for being harsh in interrogating people leaving their country. We don't have new partners of our own yet but we have an agreement that we can and once we have, we will inform the other to completely cut ties. I'm open to having a new boyfriend but I'm not into chasing guys right now, I'll take the initiative from them. It's just hard for me to move-on from this guy. Us never physically meeting each other is like having a strong cliffhanger. The mission was not accomplished. We didn't even have a quick meeting just to hug and kiss. 🥺💔

One of the reasons why his planned trip here is supposed to be this month is because my birthday is coming soon. If it wasn't for my birthday, he would've visited me around November and it would've been better as we were still a couple that time and in better terms. Lesson learned: If physical meeting is desired, don't wait regardless of the reason. Do it as soon as possible. But today, he won't be physically with me on my birthday and I feel extremely sorrowful.

Should I still hope for him, not for rekindling romance but physically meeting? 💔🥺😓😭😥

was with my boyfriend for 2 years and 3 months long distance, we met in person on our 2 year anniversary and had a very emotional time together. we talked about how we would get married once we finished college, how we would get an apartment together, how we wanted to have a family.

i ended up finding out 2 weeks into his intended 1 month stay that he had a massive collection of onlyfans girls in his camera roll. i was crushed, i deal with trauma surrounding porn and felt especially betrayed by this since i was always open about never being okay with him looking at other women. he begged me to stay, promised me he would change, that he would go to therapy. so i stayed, for 3 months i tried to forgive but i was still having my pity party and felt so angry.

it was hard to talk to him without crying, spending time with him became draining, i felt angry and sad and anxious all the time. it was hard to get through the day without wanting to vomit because i was so anxious and letting myself overthink about what ifs. he was in therapy but i felt him pulling away from me, the situation made him depressed and embarrassed and he openly talked about how the regret and guilt was hard to deal with. i should've been there for him but i was hurting so badly that i almost felt relieved he was hurting too.

we argued so much, every other day, over pointless things. i was insecure and emotional. i was always scared that he would betray my trust again. i was pushing him away too without realizing it. eventually after another petty argument he was fed up, told me he needed space and ghosted me for 5 days.

when he came back he said he wanted to end things because he was exhausted emotionally. he said he felt unappreciated and maybe he was right. i wasn't the best partner, if i agreed to forgive him then i shouldn't have thrown it in his face so often. i felt this impulse to always remind him because in a way i was comforted by the thought of him feeling guilty because then he wouldn't want to do it again.

i'm not justifying anything, but that was my thought process. he said he was unsure if he wanted to fix things or not and just needed time and space. i was a wreck, i had constant severe panic attacks - ones so bad that i would faint or certain limbs would go numb. i already struggled with mental illnesses and deep unresolved trauma from my childhood and i lack any coping skills so i genuinely fell apart.

my panic attacks were so frequent and becoming so extreme that my body was releasing too much histamine and i would develop rashes or itching so terrible that i would scratch until i bled. my neck, chest, and cheeks were covered in scabs.

we kept in minimal contact, had a few arguments due to how emotional we both were but still tried our best to care for each other because we were still in love. i ended up admitting myself to a mental hospital because i felt, and still do, so hopeless without him and didn't trust myself to not do anything i would regret.

i also was causing him too much stress, we both rapidly lost weight and he expressed that he was picking his skin and ripping chunks of hair out from the anxiety that i would hurt myself. i reassured him that where i was going i would have nurses with me and i would be safe and that i wanted to be better.

this eased his worrying which made me relieved also, but it was difficult being there because all i could think about was how once i got back we would have to talk about whether or not we were going to try to fix things or part ways.

i spent 18 days there doing intensive therapy and was also prescribed 3 medications by the on-sight psychiatrist (prozac, hydroxyzine, and propanolol) which helped. i learned a lot about myself, gained perspective on my relationship, and felt ready to go home and have this talk.

on my last day there, i suddenly had a very abrupt panic attack and wanted him for comfort. we texted and i don't know what came over me but i just blurted out that he needs to tell me if he wants to fix things or not. my mind was racing and in the brief moments of clarity that i had, i knew i wanted to ask him while i was here so i wouldn't have an episode and hurt myself at home.

he said that no, he didn't want to pursue anything further. i broke down a bit, begged, pleaded, tried to bargain but nothing i said could convince him go try to fix things.

there's more to the story but it's far too long and draining to type it all. to summarize, we talked for a few more days after this, we were both very emotional and weren't ready to completely cut each other off yet. we ended up having one final phone call yesterday, lots of words were said - we were both angry and bitter - but by the end of it we just cried and kept saying sorry and how we wish things didn't end up this way.

he said he believes i'm his soulmate and he doesn't see himself ever pursuing anyone else but that he also can't bring himself to be with me currently. i said i felt the same, he feels like a completely new person and how he's treated me lately has been mean and outright disrespectful at times and i don't want to be with someone that would talk to me the way he has, but that i also doubt i'll ever be able to be in a relationship with anyone that isn't him.

we acknowledged that this isn't healthy, that we're very codependent on each other and that we've trauma bonded deeply and that if we were to try again we would just hurt each other more.

i cried and asked if i could say something selfish, he said okay.

i asked if we could try again in the future, in a few years when we're older and done with college and mature enough to handle these complicated feelings the right way.

he said okay, that one day he'll find me again. that he'll reach out and we'll start over.

i know that it's borderline delusional to believe him, and that it isn't healthy to keep the mindset that we'll eventually get back together one day for years to come - but genuinely he is my soulmate. i only get one chance at life and every part of me wants to spend it with him. i want to love and take care of him til my last breath, and my love for him is so strong that i'm willing to work on myself and wait for him to work on himself too for these next few years until we're ready.

but wow its so fucking hard. i feel so devastated and my chest physically aches whenever i think about how i won't be able to see him or hold him for the unforeseen future. a day won't go by where i won't mourn this lost time, and i will think of him for every second until we meet again.

i built my whole life around him, genuinely how do i pick myself up and not let my life fall apart? i'm failing my college courses, i had to quit my internship under my professor due to the severity of my panic attacks, the stress, and my depression. now that i'm home and not in the mental hospital i kind of wish i could go back but i can't afford it, but the weight that was lifted off my shoulders while i was there was so freeing.

i don't have any friends, the few that i do are online ones i met on social media or through games and truthfully we aren't that close. i feel very isolated and lonely, i don't know how i'm supposed to go on with my life normally now.

i have autism and bpd, i struggle to make friends and i have no real hobbies or interests, it genuinely feels like the world is ending - like there's no point anymore.

how do i get myself out of this mindset that nothing else but him is important? i seriously gave up on school and my job and my social life, the only thing that interests me is laying in bed and letting my body shut down. i just need any advice or insight that i can get, i need help convincing myself to keep fighting and not lay down and die

I've never done it but there's someone I am thinking about travelling to. They go on a lot of trips on their own and I'm not sure how its done. Is it better to go on a short trip somewhere together? if you find there's nothing there in person then your already with them. Do you book somewhere seperate to stay and have a solo trip and meet them during the day? I've heard people staying with the person after meeting them if they feel its right?

I met my boyfriend online just 3 months ago and once we began dating we sent each other pics of how we looked like. Time passes and he would slowly began sending me more pictures, and so would I despite how shy I was. He made me feel more comfortable with sharing my looks. 1 month into our relationship we began face timing but never showed ourselves but just other things we would do, since I’m still very shy. 2 months into our relationship though, he sent more and this time he looked far more different. It kind of made me curious so I compared the pictures altogether and he looked a lot different. He told me it was just his glowups and “weed effect” so I let it slide.

One day he shared me a post his “mom” uploaded on facebook. Supposedly he got into a fight and his mom found out and was posting about finding the people who fought with my boyfriend. Thing is, I was looking at his so to be claimed “moms” name on Facebook when just a month ago he shared me a picture of his mom in one of his baby pictures, and the Facebook one was a complete different woman. Sure he could’ve had two moms but he could have told me. So I was curious and I looked through the Facebook page of this lady and I noticed the boy in the fighting video and her sons name is completely different than my boyfriends.

Therefore, the boy in the fighting video was not my boyfriend at all. This woman is not my boyfriends mother. I went on Instagram and search the boys name up on my boyfriends following and I found his account. This guy goes to school, I forgot to mention this but my boyfriend told me he dropped out of school and only does homeschool. I scrolled through the woman’s Facebook page further and found the photos my boyfriend would send to me of this boy he claimed to be.

It upset me. I began to wonder, why is he sending me pictures of this boy and letting me find him extremely attractive all this time? I would shower him with so much compliments. Now knowing that’s not my boyfriend why would you let me say these things about a boy who doesn’t even know who I am.

I made more deep searching on Facebook and found my boyfriends real mothers page. I looked through her followings and his family members. I found out how he looked by myself.

He continues to send me pictures of the other boy and I don’t know how to feel because I was so in love with the way he looked to be honest. His personality is wonderful don’t get me wrong. But why would you lie about how you look.

It just makes me feel stupid.

I haven’t told him at all about this, he still thinks I believe it’s him. I don’t know what to do. What would anyone do in this kind of situation?

does anyone else feel like it's pointless to keep going?? to stop waiting for your partner and just end it all there? that's how i feel a lot of the time, like we won't actually ever meet, and all this waiting for them has been pointless, and a waste of time :-( i do wanna keep going, i know we'll meet one day, it's just hard when you wake up every day without them by your side every day. we've been together for almost 2 years and all this waiting has done a toll on my mental health, i have depression and this isn't helping it, just adding on with all the stress. i'm scared we both won't get enough money to see eachother. any tips/advice on how i can keep going, and feel more positive about meeting them?

Throwaway here - apologies in advance for the length of this. I’m currently spiraling and don’t know what to do 😞 For a bit of background, she and I met online and started talking back in June 2023. We went through a lot together - I helped her get out of a dangerous living situation, and she helped me get through the death of my grandfather. We have a ton in common - similar beliefs and principles, we’re both musicians, and we both like video games. Most recently, we’d been playing COD together all the time.

This girl was amazing - I was completely smitten, and she was more reserved, but we always flirted, and even shared spicy pics back and forth. We’d talked about meeting in person, and honestly things seemed great between us. We’d constantly be up until 3-4am talking to each other, gaming out, texting, and we would talk about almost anything. As sad as it is to say, I’ve never felt a connection to someone like I did with her.

We were texting like normal on Tuesday. I had a busy day at work, so I sent her a Snapchat message when I got off, headed to the gym, and sent another message from there. At that point, neither was opened or read, and I figured she was busy, no big deal. I wrapped up at the gym, went home, had dinner, etc., and I still hadn’t heard from her. I figured she was busy with the holidays and didn’t think much else about it, until I saw that she was active on Snapchat and her Snapscore was steady going up (we shared locations on Snapchat and all that).

The next day, my messages still went unopened, but the Snapscore had increased more, so I just sent her a Snap saying that I hope she has a good day off. I went about cleaning and running some errands, hit the gym again, and finished up late afternoon/early evening. By this point, I was worried that I did something to upset her, so I’ll admit I was checking Snapchat more than was healthy. The whole time, her Snapscore just kept going up. I’m not a psycho (famous last words, I know) and I’m happy that she has friends and other people to talk to. However, at this point I felt it was clear she was going out of her way not to look at my messages. I sent her a message asking if everything was okay, and if there was anything she wanted to talk about, then hopped onto Call of Duty to try to keep busy.

Once I got on, I saw that she was online too. I hopped into her lobby, and tried calling her on Discord (she was chat banned at the time) - call ignored. She saw that I was in game with her - did our usual squats to acknowledge each other at the start of the match and all that. So we kept playing in silence. After that match, I tried calling her again, but she ignored it again. I sent her an in game message asking if she was mad at me or something, and then she finally replied to me on Snapchat saying “no I’m just in a bad mood lol”. That gave me some piece of mind, so I told her that was fine, I’d give her some space.

I hopped off the game, ate dinner, and then went back upstairs. I went to send her a goodnight message wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving and to let her know I’m always there if she wants to chat. Suddenly, her profile disappears from Snapchat. I try to open our conversation, and I’m told the user can’t be found. She blocked me, and I immediately went into a panic. I opened up Instagram to check there, and lo and behold, I was blocked there too. Hopped back onto Call of Duty, and she was no longer on my friend list. Every single platform we communicated on - blocked.

She was slower to remove me from Discord, so I fired off a message saying I saw she blocked me, and let her know that I was devastated, but that if she wanted me out of her life, I would respect her decision. I did ask her to at least tell me why though, so I could at least try to get some closure to carry me through my impending mental breakdown. A few seconds later, her Discord profile showed that she blocked me there too.

We went from constant communication almost every day, talking about everything and being there for one another, to her suddenly cutting me off completely without any warning or any reason why. Honestly, I think what upsets me most is that she won’t at least just tell me why and say goodbye. I understand that long distance doesn’t work for everyone, and if someone wants to call it quits, then they’re more than entitled to do so. But the fact that this all happened so suddenly - from constant contact to complete ghosting - it makes me feel like someone has died. I feel like a part of me has died. If I’d gotten closure and/or a goodbye, that would be one thing, but having no warning and no reason is absolutely killing me.

I’ve spent the last few days with very little sleep, and I’m a complete emotional mess. I feel like I’m being completely irrational, and I know I probably handled things a bit too “clingy” at the end there, but I’ve genuinely never felt so devastated at any loss in my life as I do with this, even after failed relationships that weren’t long distance. I know where relationships are concerned, nobody is “entitled” to anything, but I have to ask - am I out of line feeling like I’ve been wronged in how I was cut off? Am I asking for too much in wanting a little bit of closure to the situation?

I’m so emotionally empty right now that I’m sure I rambled through half of this, but honestly the only thing I can do right now to keep myself sane is recount everything that happened. If anyone took the time to read this, then to them I say “thank you”. Feel free to comment or drop your 2 cents on the matter, but I can’t guarantee how much I’ll engage. I don’t feel like doing much of anything now, and I’m currently bouncing between waves of complete apathy towards everything and excruciating sadness that leaves me sobbing.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been in a long-distance connection with someone I met in person two years ago. We spent a whole day together and then parted ways at the end of our vacations. Since then, we’ve been talking regularly, and our bond has grown stronger. Now, he’s coming to visit me in Montreal and staying at my place.

We’ve talked openly about how unique this situation is, and we’ve both admitted to feeling moments of anxiety about it. I care about him and have strong feelings, but I also feel really unsure about what I’m doing or even fully feeling.

I don’t want to be judged—I just feel like I need someone’s insight. Has anyone navigated something similar? How do you figure out what’s real versus what’s imagined in a situation like this? Any advice or perspectives would really help.

Thanks so much.

shes here! forever! well we'll probably move somewhere else later but we're together at last. we've met up before the move btw ive been nervous because im a major commitmentphobe (not a cheater, just autistic) but having her here to stay has been incredible. its so nice to text her and ask her whats for dinner after work, and go home and shes there waiting for me, and we get to cuddle at night with no date that she has to leave. it can work yall! gl

so this girl I've been texting/calling for past 6 months recently hasn't been texting me like she used to. I get she's busy with work and life but even after I ask if there's anything she says no and then goes another 24+ hours to send another text.

when I asked her what was wrong she said she's on YouTube these days and not insta... like okay but don't you get like 5 mins to at least let me know you're busy or something? cmon I'm not asking for back to back convo just one sentence "im busy I'll text when I get time" or something would've been enough. instead she just replies to whatever I have sent her previously and nothing else.

this is not the first time things like this happened with me, even the previous ones have been like this. I now think there's a problem with me. Ive just given up completely now, can't keep doing this anymore.