Recently Me F(23) received a concerning message from a girl I have never heard about claiming my boyfriend had reached out to her recently, and when asking about me she claimed he said we were no longer together, however when I asked for proof from either of them I didn’t see anything current.

Me and my boyfriend of about a year M(24) basically spent every waking second together from the moment we started to see each other. Everything was perfect at first, we communicated, got to know each other, our likes/dislikes.

After about 2 months we decided to just move in together. (That was my best option at the time). Everything was fine sailing in my opinion until one day i seemed to become insufferable to him and he stopped caring about the little things (if i ate, what I did while I was at work/ out, if things were clean or not, getting the right thing I asked for when he’s out shopping). He constantly would say that I loved to argue, when in reality I was just trying to express my boundaries, sadness, and loneliness especially since I moved to a new city with him. I played it off to seasonal depression, and/ or the argument phase, but slowly it seems like he’s just getting more nonchalant, maybe even using weaponized incompetence and manipulation tactics. Regardless, I still tended to his needs and cared for him the best way I could, like cleaning, cooking on occasion, surprising him with little things that reminded me of him when I was out. I was and am still doing anything to make it feel like how it did at the beginning.

recently someone from an unknown account reached out me claiming that he recently added her on social media, and that they used to talk (sometime close to when me and him started to date) and that he recently reached out and when she had asked about me (idk how she knew about me), he said I was out of the picture. Super doubtful, I asked for proof and it was just messages and pictures from before me and him dating, and nothing that could be proven. However, when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. He didn’t fight. And when i asked him for the recipe, he couldn’t let me know what it was. I talked negative to the girl considered she didn’t provide me with anything real, and his ex has reached out to me in the past.

I also wanted to mention that since I started my new job, and he started his our schedules have been completely switched. I’m gone all day and he’s gone all night.

He told me he wants to continue being in this relationship, and so do I, but I feel like it’s all sketchy and something in me is not wanting to let it go. It hurts to think that someone I love and care so much about would hurt me, especially since we live together but I guess you really never know. I would go through his phone, but at the same time I understand it’s his privacy and I’ve never done it before. what would you guys do if u were in my shoes?

I(22F) am in a relationship with BF(21M). My friends and family like him a lot. He's very popular among my social circles and they always make it a point to say how "I'm lucky" ,how "I got more than I deserved", how "I'll hurt him and break his heart" and how "I'm the original red flag" (he looks a bit rough and that's why people assume that he's a red flag; he's an amazing person though). His family dislikes me (we come from different cultures; his more conservative than mine) even though they haven't met me . I always ask him where I'm going wrong and how do I make his experience better. He always reassures me and tells me to not overthink. How do I navigate this?

OK so I'm dating for the first time in 7 years because I was in a long distance relationship for 7 years, and now we have no control over whether our careers will allow us to finally be in the same city. Wonderful person, helped me move across the country several times, listen to me bitch over the phone endlessly, very sad break up.

But anyway, I've been trying to date to ease the pain but I was trying to keep it casual because there's a very very small chance I will end up in the same city as my ex, and I want to move out of my current city anyway (although again, it's not up to me, there's a chance my career will place me here anyway). Let's say the current city I live in is Chicago. But it was obnoxious, there were a fair amount of fuckboys and boring people, and then I finally found somebody I actually liked (let's call him John). John and I hung out 2-3 times a week for about 3 months, and we basically ended up in a relationship without me meaning it to wind up there. But I am still in contact with my ex and right now I'm being stationed in a different place for 2 months because of my career and then of course there's a chance I might move permanently. John knew all of this and insisted he was ok with it, like he would talk about getting married to me or moving with me. So things were going really well and I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of moving on from my ex, but then the week before I left Chicago, he started to get kind of shitty. I was moving out of my apartment and needed his help, and since I thought he was my boyfriend, this was kind of expected, but he was kind of whiney about it. And I also spent the night at his place several times that week because I had sold my bed and had nowhere to sleep. And then on the Friday before I left the city, we got in this big fight because I was annoyed he had been acting shitty about helping me move, and apparently he was annoyed that I had been "needy" that week. So I immediately wanted to talk about it, but he made me wait a couple days because he needed "space." So he called me the next day to express that he was annoyed I had been needy, and I basically yelled at him because half of the point of being in a relationship for me is that sometimes, yes, I do NEED him. He seemed to get it and said he didn't know if he was ready to be in a relationship, and I told him to date other people because I felt guilty holding him back if I didn't know what our future held, but I told him we could still keep in contact and see where things went. But we had this event planned together and I was supposed to fly back to Chicago for it. And ever since I left, we've been snapchatting and sending each other messages on instagram still. So I figured I should still go to the event with him so he doesn't have to go alone, but I was getting pretty anxious about it. I've sent him several messages over the last few weeks asking him if I should cancel my flight because I bought flight insurance, and he never replied to those messages but continued to send me other messages. Asked for nudes from me a couple times. Y'all this has been confusing. SO, the event was supposed to happen this weekend, so I asked him if he was picking me up from the airport and he....DIDN'T REPLY. So I asked him again because bruh I gotta make plans and he was like "I'm kind of confused I thought we weren't a thing anymore." And I was like uh no we aren't but we had still been talking and mentioning this ball and I had ASKED HIM SEVERAL TIMES IF I SHOULD CANCEL MY TICKETS...I mean yes a part of this was on me for not reading between the lines but I just felt so guilty bailing on him and he's not very good at text communication anyway so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

So yeah. It's not like this guy is my soulmate or anything I'm mainly just upset that this is the kind of childishness that exists in the dating world right now? Like I'm almost 30 and would like to get married sooner rather than later, and I still really really miss my ex and it's not either of our faults that we can't make it work with each other. And I'm just worried this is what most men are like now. Me and my ex talked on the phone like 3 times a day, it is just so unacceptable to me that people would try to enter a relationship and be bad communicators still at this age.

Share your thoughts...am I in the wrong here? Do all men just suck? Should I just accept dying alone with my cats??

10 Signs He's Not Emotionally Available

1. He avoids deep conversations or gets defensive.

2. He doesn't express his emotions openly.

3. He avoids talking about the future of the relationship.

4. He's uncomfortable with vulnerability.

5. He distracts himself with work or hobbies.

6. He avoids conflict or difficult conversations.

7. He shuts down emotionally when stressed.

8. He makes you feel like you're asking for too much.

9. He has unresolved baggage from past relationships.

10. He's inconsistent with communication.

I'm a 26-year-old woman who has known a 30-year-old man for the past seven years. He was always there for me, offering support and understanding, and was the kindest person I've ever known.

We recently met in person. My parents were actively seeking a suitable match for me, so I decided to give this man a chance, as he seemed very interested. We went on a date, and he even brought me a gift. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was out of my league, and I noticed he had a lot of female attention on social media. When I asked to see his DMs, he refused.

To show my appreciation, I offered to pay for the dinner bill. I paid him online, but he claimed his online banking account was on his mother's phone and she had inquired about the transaction. I found this claim dubious, and then the same day he was not responding to my messages properly which only fueled my anxiety and panic. Worried about the misunderstanding, I paid him back the next day. His reaction was extreme; he angrily said, "Why don't you just kill me? My mom is calling and asking about you!" He then blocked me from all forms of contact. This level of anger was completely unexpected, as he had never reacted this way in our seven-year acquaintance.

Now, I'm left wondering if I should apologize. I'm also curious about what his mother might have said to him that caused such a strong reaction. I'm struggling to cope with the situation, as it's affecting my mental health. As I've never seen this side of him before, and I don't want to start a new life while I hurt this person, and I don't want his curse or anything. Should I try to contact him again, or should I let the situation go?

P.S :

We were on and off as friends, he pursued me for first1-2 years, but I thought he wont like how I look so I never accepted him, then later I got betrayal from someone else so I got back to him but he was already with some one else, after 3 yrs we again got in touch, and since last 1-2 yrs we are in contact, but we got to know each other better in this last times.

I felt he was out of your league bcs of his looks, he was way better than me, he comes from more settled background.

And to Describe the setting of our interactions, he was quite mannered and kind , was listening to me all the time while I was talking. He also asked me if I liked someone.

A friend of a friend (M25) has been on and off interested in me for years. I've shut it down every single time as there are many reasons it wouldn't work out and I didn't want to start something I knew wouldn't end up well. He's been pretty persistent though, reaching out every couple of years usually by commenting on something I post on instagram. Recently I've started contemplating on him and his persistence and really did respect how he would reach out as much as he did and was always really respectful when I would turn him down. After he tried messaging again, I decided maybe I should at least try talking to him.

I sent him a message on instagram and we started messaging back and forth for about a week. The conversation was good in the beginning, but then I pretty quickly started seeing some personality traits that I didn't vibe with. This, in addition to the previous reasons hindering me from even reaching out in the first place kind of threw me off and I left him on "seen" a couple days ago.

I don't think this was a real relationship at all, but I kind of feel bad for not explaining why I stopped talking to him. Do I owe him an explanation of sorts for this?

This isn’t really relationship advice. It’s more of a random question/thought that I wanted to see if other people experienced.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone where you find out there’s another person who wants your partner and you start seeing them mimicking your looks and mannerisms?

I wanna know how often this happens. I just feel like it’s creepy to a point. In my case, this woman tried copying my natural hair, she began wearing fake glasses, lowkey changed her wardrobe to match mine, and even started taking her pictures and videos similar to mine. Ik I’m not overthinking, because I asked multiple people if I was tripping and they said no. Is this just a female thing or do men go through this too??

Hi guys! So kind of long story ahead so please stay with me, thank you. Me (19F) and my “gf” (22F) have been going through some hard times. I put girlfriend in quotations because we have been acting as a couple for like 6 months now we just do not have a label if that makes sense. Anyways it’s my first relationship with a women so me being bisexual, all boyfriends had never had female friends (their choice) so her having them was weird. There is nothing wrong with her having these friends but I was insecure and had a bad feeling but again thought I was insecure. Anyways the night after we had sex for the first time I looked through her phone because something told me that I was missing something and I seen her talking bad about me with her girl best friend, multiple times. This best friend who is “straight” also said she loved my gf “more than she should” and that she didn’t wanna be replaced and my girlfriend said that she was always gone be first. We talked about her lying and moved past this, but her reaction about it was a lot but she was upset so I get it but she agreed I could look through her phone when I felt I needed to. Also, her and this girl kind of stopped talking after this because I told my “gf” that I didn’t know if I could ever truly commit to her because of all of this. few weeks later I tried and she asked me to not look at the old messages since they were in the past, but when I got to the top they were all deleted. She said she did it on accident in her settings deleting all messages from the last year or something, and just didn’t wanna tell me because I would be mad. Then she lied about being close with a girl from our work, I thought we were all close but this girl is 16 and they were texting a lot (not anything weird) and just I didn’t know any of their relationship. Last, I said i wanted to try a harder drug possibly eventually and she told me not to and I said “well my friend just did it and it was fine, you haven’t done it in a long time” and she said I was right. Then when I looked through her phone I seen that she lied about just smoking weed with her friends and did that hard drug a few weeks before. Obviously not all of this is a big deal but it’s just the lying is a lot. She has been doing a lot better for months and gets upset when I don’t trust her now, but i’m not sure. It was my choice to stay with her of course, I just don’t wanna feel crazy all the time. I wanna mention she always has bpd and lying has been her trauma response through a lot of life, and I see that she’s really trying.

So my (24F) best friend (26M) met at work and have been friends for about 10 months. There have always been rumors at work about him and I being more than friends, but that isn’t true. At least I thought it wasn’t, because he has a girlfriend. We became close and have had a few parking lot heart-to-hearts over the months, but again nothing more than friendly happened. About 2 months ago he was going to a concert solo and I offered to tag along for fun. He agreed because if not he would’ve had to make a 4 hour round trip drive on his own. The drive there was fine, and we decided to grab drinks while there. One drink led to three and we were a little tipsy. I noticed him standing a lot closer but figured it was because 1) it was loud so anything he had to say had to be extremely close to my ear for me to hear and 2) leaning into someone when you’re drinking is pretty normal. I went up to the bathroom and when I came back he had moved more into the space of my seat (we had seats but were standing as one does) and I had no real other choice than to stand basically pressed against him. Again, this wasn’t that odd but every so often his fingers or and would graze against my clothes or skin in a way that seemed somewhat intentional. We sobered up, made the drive back with no other incidents. I really hadn’t thought more about that interaction until last night. I was at a party he had also been invited to. I texted him asking if he was coming, and told him he should come. Turns out he left his girlfriend and immediately came over. We all ended up being very drunk and eventually sat in the living room chatting. He and I sat on a couch, and I sat down sorta in the middle. He came and sat directly next to me, shoulder to shoulder. I hadn’t noticed how, but eventually his arm had wound up around me and his hand was basically at my lower back. It got to the point between the talking and laughing that his hand was very nearly brushing my ass. Every time we said something to each other we were inches from the other’s face. It was very intimate for a party scene, and I won’t deny I let it happen. I finally felt good to drive home but I realized he was covered in glitter from my outfit (I was wearing a costume), and my heart sank. I told him to brush it all off before he got in his car, but in my head I was hoping his girlfriend wouldn’t see it. We left and haven’t spoken about it since.

I do not want to homewreck his relationship. I’ve never met his girlfriend, and he isn’t even the one who told me about her. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I also don’t exactly want it to stop. Do I mention it if it happens again? Am I reading into his body language? Is this just how men are? I’m very conflicted, so any advice is welcome, please be kind.

We are a hetero couple in late 20s, started dating a year back. We both were quite kinky and once we started sharing our fantasies it got crazy. We are into humiliation, femdom, cuckold, bi, and what not. All great till this point.

Thing is it has taken over our lives. We are in long distance for 50% of the days due to work reasons. Everytime we are away we are obsessed about our kinks. We sext non-stop about our fantasies and often these fantasies border into crossing into real lives which is scary.

We both get terrible post-nut clarities (yes she does too!) which make us feel disgusted. But in a few hours we are back at it. Lately this has been straining our relationship where we are either talking about fantasies or not talking at all due to the post-nut guilt.

Given the extreme nature of the fantasies we don't feel comfortable sharing the problem with any of our friends. Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks!

is it weird if i want to just get a little tipsy and make out with my friend? we just met a few weeks ago but we hangout all the time within the group but these past few days i’ve thought about it and when we went out for drinks he kept looking over at me and i catch him looking at me in class too but idk if it’s just he’s looking or if he’s looking looking? also when we were walking back to our rooms after drinking with our friend he said i could kiss him but he mentioned beforehand that he’d say stuff like that when he’s drunk so idk

This is a long story that involves a lot more than what the title says, but I would like to be completely transparent so I can get some real feedback on how I can handle this. No judgement please.

I just got off the phone with my sister which ended up being yet another difficult conversation of her wanting to have a relationship with me without my wife involved.

My wife (27) and I (26) have been together for 5 years now, and just got married earlier this spring. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. At first, my mom and my sister did not like my wife at all. She is from Russia, so to most Americans she can come off as a bit cold and uninviting, even to me at first. As I got to know her though, she really showed me her fun and goofy side and opened up to me a lot. As she eventually did with my family as they got to know each other.

Our relationship, as most, has definitely been anything but perfect. One thing I noticed was that for the first 2 years of our relationship, we had hardly had a single fight. Which I thought was a great sign as none of my relationships had been that way previously. Still my family didn’t like her though. We had been living with my parents for most of our relationship so for those of you that have experienced the same thing you know how stressful it can be. We paid rent and my wife actually ran her business out of the house in a separate room that she would pay extra for. My mom would always get upset though that she wouldn’t clean up the house in her downtime (even if it was other people’s messes). She would also get upset that my wife wouldn’t share her food or cook for other people when she would make dinners and small things like that. Although I think it would be nice for my wife to do these things from time to time, it shouldn’t be expected. Also in her defense she was trying to lose weight and had a very strict diet at the time so she had to weigh her food and portion things out correctly. Groceries are also very expensive where we live and we were trying to save up to move out of the house one day. So that’s what the most arguments between my mom and us would be about. Now that we’ve moved out of the house though, the relationship between my mom and my wife is great (who would have thought?).

I just wanted to give that context to show you how my wife’s relationship is with other people in my family, so you can tell me your opinions on who is in the wrong here or what to do.

Now on to the topic of my sister and my wife. As I said before, my sister never really liked my wife that much. They just didn’t click. Which is totally fine with me, I don’t need them to be besties. But to get along when they’re around each other would be nice.

I’m going to fast forward to about a year ago (6 months before our marriage) we had been moved out of the house for almost a year now. We had also picked up a husky puppy as soon as we moved in (bad idea). Little did we know that huskies were one of the most difficult breeds to deal with. So moving into a half finished house (my grandma owns it and I had been renovating it for about 6 months before we moved in) and my wife pretty much raising the pup on her own since she worked from home at the time was causing a lot of stress in our lives.

I’m also very OCD and my wife was not picking up after herself (now I was seeing what my mom was talking about) and this was causing a lot of stress for me having to pick up after her constantly. I felt like I had to be my mom telling her what to do all the time, and I hated it. So after the puppy could be on his own about 6 months after we got him my wife decided to pick up a job working for a boat tour company, so she could get out of the house a bit. I told her to go for it. It was about an hour 1/2 drive and some days she would get off at 9pm and have to work the next day at 5am so she would stay the night at a friend’s house near her work on those nights. Of course I was hesitant about this at first because I have been cheated on in the past but I decided that if I couldn’t trust her then she wasn’t the one for me.

I should also note that my wife is much more extroverted then me in some ways. She loves to go out and dance with her friends where I would much prefer staying home for the night. We both are very outdoorsy though so we would bond in that way - going camping, hiking, and to the beach. But every time she asked me to go out and dance with her and hang out with her friends, I would say no. Which I later realized was just not very considerate on my end and probably showed her that I hadn’t had as much interest in her as I did before.

Fast forward this year, one week before the wedding. Things were a bit stressful between us due to planning it completely by ourselves and having a pretty tight budget to make this dream wedding happen that wouldn’t put us in debt or anything like that. My sister calls me and says she needs to talk to me one on one.

We meet up. She tells me that she heard a rumor that my wife cheated on me with someone at work. She shows me the guy. We both cry. I drive home and confront my wife about it. My wife tells me nothing happened, other than some harmless flirting. Which I can’t blame her for as I had done the same before at my job during our rough patches. This guy she supposedly cheated on me with also has a wife and three kids. Not that that’s stopped anyone before but this is a small town and there are no cheap motels or anything like that to stay for the night. I’m not saying they couldn’t pull it off but to do it at his home would be unlikely or at a hotel would be unlikely. Then I tell my close friends about it to get their opinions on the situation. One of them calls me and tells me that he would bet that it is true and tells me a story I never heard before. One day, my wife got drunk and texted him to come over and completely came on to him. Luckily, I keep my circle close and he refused and sent her on her way. He said he never told me about it because he didn’t want it to ruin mine and his relationship as I was his best friend here. I thanked him for telling me.

Now I was pissed. I knew she was lying. I confronted her about it and she admitted to what my friend had told me, but still denied the rumor my sister had heard. Obviously she had to, as this was coming directly from my friend and not some rumor he had heard. I left and stayed the night at my sister’s to give us both some time to think.

Now I know what you’re all probably thinking at this point. I would be stupid to stay with her. She’s a cheater. I might have no self esteem but I like to try to put myself in other people’s perspectives. At the time of both these things supposedly happening, I was almost completely neglecting her. Not truly showing my love for her, and not going out of my way to make her feel special. She had always done so for me. And I still loved her.

The next day I came back home, we talked. The wedding was in a week. I had family from all over flying in. We had all this money put into the wedding that there’s no way we could refund. My wife was doing everything she could to make it up to me, she apologized to my sister, to my friend that she came on to, she got ahold of the guy that she supposedly cheated on me with and let him know of the situation. He texted me to deny the accusations (though that meant little since he had a wife and three kids, he had every reason to deny it). She even came to work with me that day and genuinely helped me finish my job (I have my own business that’s very labor intensive and not easy by any means).

I was still unsure, but she was taking all the right steps towards making things better between us. I decided to go through with the ceremony but not sign any papers, since we had so much time, money and family coming out to see us and their money as well.

Our wedding was almost perfect. Everything went beautiful. Until the next day. We got a text from the person watching our dog to let us know that he had escaped and got hit by a truck and passed. I loved that dog like a son. It had taken us so much time and energy to get him to where he was, and although he wasn’t as behaved as I would have liked him to be, we had an unbreakable bond. This broke us. Me especially given what I had just gone through. In a way, though. I think it allowed us to bond more through the grief and kind of forget what happened prior to the wedding. Not completely, as I told her my conditions as to what I would be comfortable with her doing for us to possibly sign papers and be legally married one day. She quit her job working on the boats (her suggestion) and went back to working at the house. She didn’t go out late with her friends anymore. She really started to help around the house more and we had a lot of difficult conversations to get to where we are now. Post wedding, I would say despite my beautiful little boy passing, our relationship had been better than it had been in a long time. I decided it was time to sign papers. I didn’t know for sure whether she had actually cheated on me. This is a small town after all, and rumors start very easily. My wife isn’t from here and she is very beautiful. I could definitely see the other girls seeing her flirt a bit with some guy and starting a rumor about them hooking up. I wasn’t discounting the fact that she could be lying still, but I loved her and forgave her for it. I said if I heard about anything happening ever again, I would leave. No questions asked. She understood.

My sister, however, never forgave her for this. At this point, the only people who knew about the situation were her, my wife, my sister, and a couple of my close friends, and I intended to keep it that way as it was nobody else’s business. My sister threatened to tell my family as she said couldn’t hold it in anymore because everyone would ask her why she doesn’t like my wife and she couldn’t answer. I was upset at first but understood her position. So I told my wife she should probably tell them first to get ahead of the situation.

My wife met with my mom and told her everything. I think she was surprised when my mom forgave her pretty easily and told her that it wasn’t her business in the first place.

There is another dynamic to this situation. Remember how I told you we live in a small town? Well, here’s a love triangle for you. My sister had an ex boyfriend before her now husband, they were best friends before my sister and her husband started dating. Obviously they aren’t friends anymore. Anyways, I still get along with her ex boyfriend and we hang out every so often. My wife also happens to get along very well with his now girlfriend and they are friends. She was actually made of honor at our wedding.

So they get invited to some things that my sister and her husband also are invited to. My sister’s ex boyfriend and his girlfriend are completely fine with it at this point as it’s been half a decade since they broke up and my sister is married now anyways. Every time they’re invited though, my sister gets upset with my wife for inviting them. Even though my wife gives her a heads up before hand that they will be invited out of respect.

I should also note that my sister has been a devout Christian as of the last 2 years since she married her husband and he and his family are all religious as well. I’m not religious myself but I don’t see any issue with it. Other than the fact that my sister has become, well let’s just say she’s changed a lot since her new found faith. My mom and I agree that this change is not for the better.

Anyways, to bring it back around. This has been a constant issue since the wedding. My sister has tried to meet up with my wife and talk things out, but according to her every time they talk, things go well and my wife fucks it up by inviting her ex boyfriend/his girlfriend to the same parties they attend. My sister also claims that my wife has lied to her on a couple occasions which is true but they are white lies regarding being busy when my sister invites her to church or bible studies or things of that nature. My wife is not religious either and we both are pretty agnostic in our faith.

I know that there’s a lot to this story and it kind of spiraled out of control and went more back to my relationship with my wife. I guess it’s been looming over me as I’m still uncertain about everything and looking for outside opinions. But I am open to opinions about it all, just please no harsh words or judgement. Thanks everyone.

ADVICE WELCOME!! PLEASE!! My [23f] boyfriend [23m] won’t brush his teeth. I first started trying to gently hint towards it in the beginning with “did you brush your teeth today because I’m about to if you want to come with”. Then it slowly turned into me walking into the living room while brushing my teeth and giving him a look of “come brush”. It’s starting to get to the point where I don’t enjoy kissing him because I can smell his breath. He has receding gums that are turning white/bright red, with browning in his teeth. He had braces when he was a kid which is a luxury I wished for everyday growing up with crooked teeth. I’ve sat him down twice within the last few months and got serious with him about it and he cuts me off with the “I know I know” as if we don’t need to keep having the conversation but nothing has changed! I love this man so much we have been together for 2 years and we plan to get married. He is SOOO good to me. Like so so sweet but mouth hygiene is such a big deal to me. PLEASE give me advice on how to really drill it home.

TL;DR boyfriend won’t brush his teeth after multiple attempts on talking to him about it. Advice needed. He is a very good man lol

My boyfriend(M22) of almost 1 year is commenting on a friends(F22) bikini pictures.

I(F23) have been dating my boyfriend (M22) since the past 9-10 months. He doesn’t have a lot of female friends but unfortunately the 2 he has - either they used like him or he liked them.

Now, let’s talk the friend who posted the bikini picture and call her “Sarah”. Sarah(22) had in the past made passes at my boyfriend which were not exactly direct but everyone knew she’s into him.

They maintained a platonic friendship and talk once in a while. She recently posted a bikini picture under which my boyfriend commented something like “this girl who came from a small hometown has changed after going abroad”

I have never objected to their friendship and the girl is respectful towards me and sometimes even overly sweet. But I don’t understand the point of this comment. Was it required? That too on a bikini picture?

When I confronted him, he just acted like I’m the crazy , insecure, b*tch and did not even want to address the issue at hand.

I just don’t know what to make out of this situation, I hope I’m not overracting but I didn’t see a need of commenting on a bikini picture if the girl clearly was interested in him before he met me.

Another thing, the comment section was full of girls flattering her. Just one guy who’s single commented and my boyfriend. Even mutual friends who are single liked the post and did not comment.

As per your opinion, how should I take this further?

Hi all i have created another account due to wife following me on the other., I 23M and my wife 24F have been together 4 years, married 2. I have discovered accidentally she is pretending to be a women across the other side of the world and is chatting to multiple other men on Instagram. However one chat in particular is very explicit and she has shared photos of her naked without her face to this guy and she has been waking up very early to talk to him on voice call. When she has thought I've been asleep. Also the other guy thinks she looks completely different and lives on the other side of the world. I discovered this a little while and asked her about it albeit gently. But she just called me crazy and she wouldn't hurt me and she says it's ridiculous she'd pretend to be someone else. However today she has make a huge mistake and left the fake Instagram account open on our computer and she phoned him this morning and sent him a explicit photo. I have taken a photo of this so I can confront her when she gets home from work as she can't deny it now it's clearly in our living room. How should I approach this conversation? Because this is very confusing as I said she is pretending to be someone completely different but the explicit photos are definitely her.

I'd like to preface this by saying l've (M22) got trust issues, and my girl (F20) has already done some very questionable stuff in the past which has lead me to not being able to completely trust her (we met online and spoke for 4 months before meeting, one week before I saw her she had sex with another guy)

She loves getting attention and I feel like it's a bit egotistical and like she cares too much about the opinions of others and receiving validation from random people. She used to go on about how she was never attractive and people used to discriminate her for being part Asian but once she got to highschool she started getting more attention and when people said she looked good she struggled to believe it etc, so I'm guessing she's also insecure about her looks etc.

She is constantly talking about how people give her compliments, nearly on the daily she will be like "3 people today told me I look good" and I don't know how to feel about it. She will never specify gender and I am pretty certain she gets told this kind of stuff by guys, and I don't know how to feel about guys tryna make moves on her and her coming to me all proud about it. It seems like she cares too much and is trying to impress random guys and it makes me super uncomfortable.

Just yesterday after saying something like that she kind of subtly let it drop how I get annoyed at stuff like that, like when she says to me she's "going out pretty" implying I get insecure, which hey, I probably do. Cause here's the thing, I can go out looking good too and get compliments from girls too, but l don't go running back to her and tell her how many girls have tried to hit on me? Like am I being insecure or is this just weird and egotistical behaviour?

P.S. when she mentions what she's doing or who she's done things with it's always "people" never any names or genders. I'm Spanish, so it's even harder to make things genderless and you would usually specify genders when speaking, however she goes out of her way to say something like "| was with people".

My boyfriend (M29) and I (F31) have been dating for only 5 months, I am one who loves gifting gifts, or help someone who needs help, such as money, rides, food. When me and my boyfriend first started dating I didn’t have a job, I was broke but living off of my financial aid , this boyfriend asked me for 40$ because he was short on rent, I gladly helped him because I would hate to not help and feel like a shitty gf, well a month goes by and he asked me for 100$… again I gave him the money.. for our 4 month I ASKED him to buy me flowers AT LEAST. And he does. It was cute. He recently broke his phone and he was “stressed” because life was being pretty shitty to him and he was broke due to bills and i have the biggest heart ever and i wanted to help so i gave him 200 for a phone… he gets it the next day and calls me… I asked him how much was his new phone was and he said 150.. so I thought alright cool he’ll have extra money , if he needs gas… but no… when I asked him where he was at, he said he was LOOKING FOR A BONG… see now I don’t really care about his weed endeavors or anything but what really sucked is that he could of used that 20$ he used for a bong for a gift for me.. a flower.. a candy bar… something. But no. He spent it on a bong. Last week was birthday and I spent 60$ on his gift, and I’m pretty sure he’s not going buy me anything for when I graduate college next week….. I’m starting to think I’m settling…….anybody please give me any type of advice. I know your thinking it’s simple to just leave him and I get that … but i want to make sure im just not being over dramatic. What was your last straw? Did it ever get better for you if you stuck around? How did you communicate? Help .

I (25 F) have some questions that will only be answered by going through his chat with his ex. Just to find the nature of their conversation.

I don’t want to create an issue by going through his phone without asking. Is it okay to ask him (26 M) for permission to put my mind at ease. They talk almost everyday just as friends, I just need confirmation nothing has sparked up again.

I have voiced and communicated how it makes me feel when he talks to her. We have very open communication I just would like to see the chat. Would it bring up more problems ie. Him thinking I don’t trust him? Or is it okay?

So as the title says my, (F19), BF (M19) of 2 years have started going through a rough patch. It started when I found prn in his browser history kind of thought nothing of it because he’s a boy I guess, I then found pictures of girls I guess prn stars In his hidden photos so I confronted him and he apologised, after around 1 month I heard from one of my friends that he’d shared my “pics” to his friend which I asked him about and he said no, but because of recent events I looked at his chats to find my “photos” in their chats and his friend was saying how hot I am and stuff so I talk to him about it he says how it’s not a big deal and “I should take it as a compliment”. I love this boy but it’s so frustrating being with him, should I leave him?

My ( 27M) gf ( 24F) has been talking and spending time together way less than so much as 2 months ago, often the gm and gn text she sends barely change from one day to the other , seeming more like a checklist of questions that would be polite to ask. When we do hang out watching a series or something akin to that often I can hear her on /shorts/tiktok and if I call her out she'll just apologize and mute which makes me think all she's doing there is being present against her will.

she's asked me for advice in a few matters but then, when I give her a response she doesn't like will disappear for hours and come back saying she was busy or was out with her mom
She'll will switch between being really affectionate and distant/busy. I can try to talk to her about multiple things and send memes and get barely a response yet get an immediate text when mentioning her ex blocking me on social medio seemingly out of nowhere this week.

It feels to me that she's gotten tire of the relationship but either doesn't wanna end it herself or just wants to hold onto the status itself without participating in one. Hell my mind does wonder if she's cheating on me which the thought of makes me sick but its started to creep in more and more and its quietly making me paranoid of everything.

I'm not sure how to proceed, She's alluded to not making the necessary arrangements for coming over soon and I find myself thinking that she's trying to get me to finish the relationship. not sure if posting just to vent or to ask for opinions but I've been feeling extra lonely and am no longer sure how our future is gonna be.

feel free to give unfiltered opinions and or advice

( sorry for grammar mistakes not a native speaker )

Greetings all, I’m 28- F and my partner is 27-M. As some background, I did not have a good childhood and choose to live my life for the most part for myself and my love. This being said we moved an hour away pretty early into our relationship for higher education opportunities. We both attend a very well known college in Michigan. In February, it will be 6 years together. My partner got sick almost a year ago so he’s been living with his family. It’s been hard on all of us, no doubt hard on his mom and sister. I’ve never paved a relationship with them just based on my own experience and him not really caring about it too much. We never really concerned ourselves with anyone else just focusing on ourselves and school. His family brought it to my attention that they don’t know me and see it as a problem. Which I can see. How do I go about getting to know them especially so far down the road? What to expect? I never thought either of them wanted a relationship with me solely based off I’m always being treated like an outsider and my race being mentioned. Anything is appreciated. Is this fixable?

This post comes with a heavy heart. I say this because right now, I am stepping closer to deciding to end my current relationship with my current partner. For the past several months, I have toyed with this decision but I chose not to commit to it because obviously, communication is key and I am the type of person who advocates on meeting halfway and talking things out with my partner. But regardless of how much I communicate with my partner I just feel like something is just... missing.

To put things into context, my current partner is my 2nd ex. We recently got back together at the beginning of the year, February to be more precise. We originally split during COVID because she was falling into depression and on top of a global pandemic and poor mental health she decided to push everyone away. Including me. I do not blame her, at all. She probably made the best decision she could have possibly have made at the time. During the time we were apart, I have been in two other relationships. One that has lasted 9.5 months and unfortunately ended because of how poorly I have treated her, and how poor of a partner I was to her and the other being a rebound. That ex, I called it off after I realized she crossed several of my boundaries and that she wasn't in the right mindset. That ex, made me realize what it was like when it came to being in my 3rd ex's shoes. Same self-sabotaging behavior, the same level of anxiety, and also the same amount of disrespect she inflicted upon me after I spoke to her regarding taking that relationship to the next phase. Essentially, that rebound was filled with red flags and I chose to end it sooner rather than later.

But back to the third ex, this relationship was by far, the most intimate relationship I have had in my life. This is the relationship that was my very first sexually intimate. To put things into context, I am 23. My 3rd ex was 30 when we broke up. We hit things off immensely. We just clicked, but unfortunately when she found out about something I did to another person. Out of respect for everyone involved, I'd rather not speak about it but all I can say is that a lot of unresolved trauma came rushing back up to the surface and me not knowing how to handle all of that resulted in me making one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my life. That is, self-sabotaging the relationship. That very day, I said some awful things, did awful things and this is one of the things that my 3rd ex resents me over. I tried to make things right, but when you're someone who was anxiously attached and someone who was a Fearful Avoidant you easily fall into the Anxious Avoidant trap and you allow your anxiety to get the better of you.

That resulted in, breaking her trust, taking her for granted, overstepping her boundaries, acting manipulative, selfish, self-centered, and ignoring her needs over my own just to soothe myself. The worst part was getting my friends involved to see if they could help. Big mistake, just made things even worse. And this is something that I still continue to blame myself for to this very day. Every single day after that breakup, I have chosen not to forgive myself for what I did to that ex.

And now, that leads me to today. Ever since that breakup, I have been going through immense therapy and it helped me get to a point where I have accepted the breakup, and the end of that relationship. But I have not yet forgiven myself for the things I did and that is something that is still being worked on. The process is slow, but I am slowly getting there. Anyway, back to my current relationship with my 2nd ex. Every good foundation of establishing a healthy relationship is there. It's just that, something is amiss like I said before. To put things into retrospective, my current partner is the complete opposite of my 3rd ex when it comes to being physically intimate. Last month, she came out as Asexual. I am a heterosexual or straight. My love language is physical touch, it is the biggest love language for me. I crave physical intimacy, it's my core need. Always has been and always will be.

My partner's main love language is quality time and physical touch is the very least of her concerns. And that hurts me, everything else is there except for that one part, and what if I told you, even though we have been dating for 8 months we still haven't been sexually intimate and this is killing me. I have communicated this to my partner believe me, but the more that time goes on, the more resentful, and frustrated I get and I know for a fact that if I do not get this sorted out. This will eventually blow up in both of our faces. And one of the things that frustrates me the most is knowing for a fact that I can never, ever have a relationship like I had with my 3rd ex. If you remove all of the negative parts of that relationship of course.

This doesn't make things easier for me because this adds more to all of the guilt, remorse, and regret I harbor for myself for allowing myself to hurt someone so innocent, so kind, so caring and that is what hurts me. There are times when every time I look at my current partner, all I see is a reminder that my 3rd ex is gone. Because of what I did. I don't say this in front of her, I keep this to myself and no matter what I do or say, it will never be able to change the fact that she isn't her because both this relationship and her is a completely different person/relationship than what I had previously and there is nothing I can do to change it, but to accept the reality as it currently is.

Now I am stuck in this dilemma. I know for a fact what I am feeling right now is unhealthy, I am sure as you read this you would tell me that IATAH for potentially rebounding again. At this point, I am currently stuck between two worlds. Do I go ahead and choose to end this relationship and focus on moving forward with my life, or do I do my most damn to see if I can at the very least have somewhat of a normal relationship because both my unmet needs are not being met and also this being a constant reminder of what can never be and a constant source of guilt for allowing myself to hurt someone I once cared about?

I have held off on making this post for so long, that it's been starting to effect me. Whatever advice you may give, I really appreciate it. Thank you for giving this a read.

So it's mine (F26) and my husband's (M29) first wedding anniversary in a few months, we have been together for 5 years and he has never been great with surprises however I have made it clear that I would like a real pearl necklace with a shark tooth (weird I know) one day for one of our anniversaries and that Id like it to be a surprise.

• this might be my fault because i didn't tell him that it 'has' to be a surprise, only that it would be romantic/nice if it was -

I didn't say which anniversary because what I want is expensive and I wanted it to be a surprise when he gets it for me but I'm sure he's planning on getting it now and I'm trying to not feel let down.

He has asked me what kind of tooth i want and what pearls along with what metal i want the clasp to be, I understand he needs to know all of this but the way he has done it makes it so obvious that he's buying it now and the surprise element is completely gone

I still really appreciate the gift and i'm excited to receive it but i cant help feeling that i wish he hadn't 'told' me. how do i get over this!

TLDR: My husband is bad at surprises, and i need advice on how to move past the fact it isn't a surprise and focus on how excited I am.

I have a ton to cover so I'll try to be super concise.

I [30M] been in a long distance relationship with a woman [28F] for 8 years. I live in Canada and she lives in the US. Our relationship got off to a very rough start (we were both kind of a mess and I in particular had a lot of maturing to do, particularly socially). We nearly split up once during the pandemic due to some of our differences, but stuck it out. We've done couples therapy together for a few years and I have personally found it very helpful. We visit back and forth a lot and I spend several weeks at a time with her while I work remotely. We have grown very close despite some big differences. In many ways she has really supported my growth.

I proposed to her in February on a romantic trip. She initially said 'maybe' and deferred, but after giving her some space for a couple weeks, she said yes. For most of our relationship she has had concerns (many of them legitimate) about my suitability as a partner. I have put a ton of effort into working on myself and learning to be sensitive, empathetic, and patient. We do get along really well day-to-day, and I can see the fruit of my efforts. There is a lot to love about her (and about our relationship).

There are, however, some critical problems. Her immediate family do not approve of our relationship and are persistently pressuring her hard to break off our engagement. We still don't have a wedding date almost 9 months later. She has long had a tendency to prioritize her needs and perspectives over mine. When we have arguments, she never gives me a concrete conclusion or a sense of what she's going to do differently. We sort of just keep the status quo going and change is incremental. There are often implicit conditions attached to my needs (basically, the root of every problem comes back to something I should be doing).

I've finally brought the entirety of my feelings to her attention (and talked about how I feel like walking away) and she has gotten upset that there isn't any mutual understanding. She's upset with me because apparently I'm not being understanding of the stresses and challenges in her life right now (which is patently false). I don't know how I can reassure her when she seems to rebuff my efforts to be patient and supportive. She continually expresses a desire to keep communicating and negotiating, but I feel like I'm at my wit's end.

I feel very dumb sharing this here because I feel like I know the 'answer'. I feel like people here are going to tell me to break up with her and find someone who will treat me better and be more accountable. And yet, I'm still here, kind of hoping that an outsider can see something that I can't. It's really hard to let go of someone you've loved so much for so long. I've probably painted her as more of a villain than she is.

There's a lot more to this situation, but I don't want to disrespect your time, reader. I'm just having a really tough time here.

We’ve been married over four years. She is pregnant and just told me about the HSV because she knew I would see it in her chart at the OB appointment.

My girlfriend and I (F24) have been dating for nearly a year and a half now, and on the general term we are doing fine but. But one thing that has been bothering me for some time is her insecurity and the fact that she is quite open about it. Her expartners have played a role in shaping such insecurities and because of that, she is in constant need of validation and reassurance. So far, I’ve always provided her the reassurance however this is not the case anymore as I wish to be supportive but I am also aware of her background.

Of late however, I have begun to regard myself as being punished for events that occurred to her before we even met. The undue burden of having to reassure her regularly appears, in my opinion, to be excessive, and I am losing my patience with it. I do not wish to mischaracterize the situation. I do have feelings for her and I recognize that they are not simple for her. I am happy that she has the confidence to talk to me about her insecurity issues. However it is at the point now that it is beginning to seem the more I do for her, the more she demands from me. Even though I have done all that is humanly possible to support her, it is impossible to shake the feeling that I am responsible for her previous actions.

That is difficult because I don’t want her to think that I ignore her feelings or that I don’t care but at the same time, I am beginning to feel swamped. I can't all the time be the one who has to provide reassurance.

Please advice how do I deal with this situation in healthiest manner?

We are both from Miami, FL but he is Cuban and I am Puerto Rican. He has always told me he was financially conservative but socially liberal. I'm registered as an independent but know that my core values and belief system are heavily democratic. Although I tend to vote democratic, there has been some Republicans I could see myself getting behind. I too tend to be more financially conservative and socially liberal. I thought we found common ground agreeing that Trump was ill fit to run this county and divides this country. Recently, I found out he was considering voting for Trump and found it to be the biggest turn off. I didn't have an issue with him being financially conservative/socially liberal and was willing to accept if he was Republican, but to support Trump?! Never did I think I would end up marrying someone who could support someone like Trump. Although he says he does not support either candidate, he said he was considering voting for Trump because he thinks it would be better for the economy. For me it's so much more than money. I find Kamala's policies not only more align with my social beliefs, better for the environment and better for us as we will be looking into purchasing our first home.

I think he is heavily influenced by his conservative Cuban upbringing. He admitted he hasn't been paying too much attention to the election. While I am very passionate about politics. When I tried to present facts and explain my logical reasoning as to why I thought Trump would not make a good president, he met it with what I interpreted as a dismissive bias attitude. While marriage is suppose to be about in sickness and in health and till death do us part, I cannot help but to worry about the impact that will have on raising any potential children of ours. It's just not the life I envisioned for myself and not the values I want embedded in my children. Am I crazy for even considering breaking up with someone who I thought was the love of my life over a difference in political ideologies?

Albeit there are other things I'm not crazy about. No matter how many times I mention how it would be great if he would cook, clean or be romantic once in a while, it seems to fall on deaf ears. Of course I always dreamed about ending up with someone who was creative, romantic and expressive with their affection. But those are things I can overlook. But this is something I'm afraid I wont be able to ignore and wondering if this is something that will create a divide for us later on in marriage. I know as long as we can respectfully agree to disagree we should be ok but that's the thing, he seemed so dismissive about my arguments. I feel not seen, not heard and worst of all... I feel chills from my my cold feet. How can I navigate around this?

Sorry for the crammed text im writing this on my phone.

Me and my gf have been together for 6 months now. The country is going through war and both of us moved out of our houses to a safer place(each of us with his family). I recently lost almost all my belongings in an explosion that targeted our house, I was devastated and obviously felt like shit. In the same night, my gf complained about her stand breaking and not fitting all the clothes that she got before she moved.

I didnt talk about it then, but now after a week, i talked to her and said it bothered me how she said that after what just happened to me and i remember saying "i know it wasnt ur intension to make me feel worse but talking about that did". She said that I shouldn't compare traumas and was wondering why i was mad about that, that i should know that's not her intension, and got mad for a whole day. Next day i asked why she was mad and she said that my tone was mean so she didnt speak to me the whole day after that.

Now, i know im not perfect and i accept it when she says what bothers her, and try as much as possible to improve. But she didn't even apologize for what she did. I don't know what I should do about this tbh. I tried talking about what bothers me and she didn't accept it until the next day i explained it for a whole hour.

I would appreciate you guy's thoughts on how i should deal with this. thankkss