Anyone have experience with online catching feelings, what does it mean that this happened? I just want someone to relate to

I started talking to an online friend with so much in common and I caught feelings, first thoughts of sex before becoming more clearly romantic, so from the beginning I was skeptical, “how can I know this is what I want when theyre a faceless entity in my head?” I know its important that I could get enough trust in someone to start thinking about those acts as on the table, but those acts are performed by their body after all, and I was skeptical of how valid my urges could be if I didn’t actually know their body

Also I’d been horny independently so I wondered if I started having thoughts because our conversation was just the main thing on my mind, it was just that conversation and being horny at the top of my mind, so maybe I let the two overlap, put the idea of the friend as a placeholder inside the horniness in a way that was unfounded. Idk but that made me skeptical enough and I didn’t say anything in case it really was silly and unfounded

But then I started getting really strong feelings too which made me need to solve this, the horniness could be pushed off but the feelings in my heart were too demanding for that.

Anyway the crisis is that we eventually met up in person though and it was jarring because all the feelings kinda snapped away? I realized if I had known them in person from the start I don’t know if I would have gotten attracted at all like this or had those physical kinds of thoughts. So Do I acknowledge that my heart was doing crazy things this whole time and I shouldn’t gotten so far ahead in my mind, Or- do I try to hope that I can become attracted to them again? Since there was a real part of them to catch feelings for just via messaging, I mean? And we only met once after all this only just happened

I saw a post on here about falling in love “with the idea of” a person I guess I’m wondering if that’s what I did- But I’m just conflicted and don’t understand how could meeting them have snapped away so much but I’m really turned off no feelings at all now

--and the lack thereof that you might have felt earlier on in your life?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. For me, when I came to the realization I was demi and was articulating the first thing I'd love in a relationship.. it was emotional safety. To know someone so deeply, love them and their experiences & emotions, and in turn feel safe enough that I know that my emotions, experiences, and mind will be safe with them. To, at that point, then share everything, and be able to feel comfortable and safe in their arms, etc., etc. But I find it interesting that I didnt necessarily just say emotional bond or connection, which can happen and manifest sooner, in theory. Obviously, I'd want to feel connected and bond w them, but I'm wondering if I'm just very very scared and mistrustful that I won't be emotionally safe. Perhaps because I never felt emotionally safe growing up, aside from around my close friends.

This doesnt seem to be a concern for many allo people I meet, and they seem to trust people... more easily? They have no problem meeting someone, feeling connection, liking someone, flirting, moving forward, and then work on building the trust and learning more about them from there. Whereas that's inconceivable to me, and I feel like I'd have to feel the connection and build the trust and learning first, which seems.. more risk averse, ha.

I have never liked anyone since I was like 14 lol (25 now) and cant help but wonder if fear is also a driving factor in my demi experience that prevents me from ever liking someone? Or do you think I'm conflating concepts and theres not necessarily any relation? Curious as to any thoughts or experiences you have had!!

As a way of coming to terms with this orientation, and helping myself to feel better about it, I started wondering what being demiromantic helps with? Like, two things I can think of are:

1. Being a better judge of character than most, since you don't develop feelings quickly.
   1. I hear about so many people falling in love early, then sprinting up the relationship escalator and getting married, then finding out a few years later that they're really imcompatible with the other person. Not like that hasn't happened to me, (The marriage thing hasn't happened at least) but I think I have a better idea of who people were before getting involved with them.
2. A very detailed idea of all the different flavors of attraction, or even ways of showing love.
   1. Maybe also because it happens so rarely, and when it does happen, it's really intense. I've seen posts about different kinds of attraction, like aesthetic, physical, intellectual, etc. and there's this huge range between friends and not friends that I don't see talked about that much. There's so many other ways for attraction to go besides just romantic that usually don't get talked about. Then, when it comes to actual romance, there's a lot of shades and details to that too.

So I dunno. If I'm going to have this orientation that alienates me from an experience most people have really frequently, there may as well be some upsides, right?

Hey everyone, I realized a couple months ago that I am demiromantic and asexual and I now don’t know what to do and would love some help 😂 I’ve posted this in r/crushes as well but I wanted to get help from people who have had similar experiences with demiromantic crushes in general. Post is below:

I [22 F] recently realized I have developed a crush on a pretty well known streamer/youtuber I’m a fan of, after almost 2 years of seeing his content and streams. I’ve been considering reaching out to him because I genuinely believe we could connect based on how he presents himself online, but I’m also worried he'll think it’s about his fame or status; not to mention there is a pretty significant age gap [32 M].

I’m really not expecting anything, but it wouldn’t hurt to try right? My question is, should I try to shoot him a message or do I wait until I’m a little older (like 24-25 [currently 3 months from turning 23]) to say anything. I know it’s not a lot older but I feel like that makes the age gap easier to handle??

Anyways, I wonder if anyone had ever tried and succeeded in a way to interact with a well known person, and if you have any advice!

I ask with this import: I don’t typically experience any sort of attraction on sight besides sexual, and I can tell this is not sexual, and I have been known to not experience certain kinds of attraction at all, including platonic; so I’m wondering if these rare moments would end up getting sorted as some kind of rare platonic pull? Aesthetic pull is the runnerup but I feel like I know what that is and have experienced it differently in the past. But let me explain.

It’s when I see a girl and think “Damn I want her to kick me in the face”. Fully serious. (Not in a kink way; in like a sportive/competitive way.) It happens with girls dressed to kill in a certain martial main character energy getup and physique; not literal combat gear or warcore or wtv I think that’s cringe, but more muted getups and it can even happen when they’re wearing like a party dress and boots but their vibe is still like a martial main character who’s going to a party but is still gonna have a fight scene in it; where my instant thought is something action-related, like, “I want to do battle with this lady” / “Damn this would make a worthy opponent in combat”. In a compatriot/friendly way ofc. Sometimes the thought is also “I’d want this lady to be in combat with me [on my side]”. Idk why I have explicitly combat related thoughts??! Like I’m not a fighter, I did some contact sport when younger but this is unrelated, and I don’t tend to have fight or sport related thoughts outside of these specific instances.

Has anyone felt this kneejerk reaction/had this thought?!

I was just wondering if this is common for demiromantics. So it takes me a long time to develop romantic feelings for anyone. And it’s not like I mean to. When it happens, it just happens. Although I don’t know if it’s possible to fall in love on purpose. But sometimes, I just get this ‘feeling’, like I just know that if I keep getting to know you/spend more time with you, I’ll fall for you. Before I even fall, it’s like I can see myself falling; like I get a vague, tiny glimpse of the future, except in feelings form. It can still take a long time afterwards, but nonetheless, I’m pretty confident I will fall eventually. Has this ever happened to you? Does it happen to you? Is it just an odd me thing?

Basically the title. I’ve been discovering a LOT about myself this year, and for the most part, it’s been a relief to know how my mind works. Except, I just can’t shake this terrible feeling about being demiromantic. I’m really struggling to find any positives with this identity. I’m double demi, so attraction to others in any sense is rare for me. I’ve never been in a relationship, and the common thing I hear from people is that I should be glad to be single, or that it’s less stressful to have less attractions. I so want to know what it’s like to love someone in a romantic way!!! But I feel like there’s genuinely nothing I can do to improve my chances of being in a relationship because my feelings take forever to show up. The last crush I had was on my best friend and that took over a year for me (and as always, it didn’t work out for me but we are still besties thank goodness). I’ve tried other apps and nothing has come of it. I’ve never felt mutual attraction before.

How did you come to terms with being demiromantic? And what are some ways I can learn to love being demiromantic? Thanks in advance!!

Hey everyone, i'm being very confused by my feelings in the past year.

I started to learn more about sexualities ecc only recently (2 years ago?), as i never found myself really in the need to do so, since i had not felt any kind of attraction or whatsoever. I started to inform myself for many reasons, being understanding these things more, know how other people feel and of course how I myself feel (even if the latter only veeeery recently).

As i mentioned, since i never felt any kind of attraction towards anyone my entire life (and i also never felt the need to) i could frame it to being Ace-Aro. Recently though i met someone, through a mmorpg, and after a few months of friendship i started to feel something change in the way i felt towards them. I've been very confused ever since (it's been about 9 months now) and i'm still trying to figure it out, because i still don't really understand what is "romantic" and what is "platonic" or other types of attraction.

It was because of this that i started to read more about asexuality and aromanticism, I learnt about the term "squish", about queer-platonic relationships, about the various "shades" of these orientations (grey/demi ecc), and i've seen that naturally everyone's experience is unique, despite labels.

Well, i couldn't really find something that could describe my situation. Crush or squish? i can't really understand the difference, and all the informations i found and compared resulted in a "kind of?" from both, like something inbetween, and consequentially the same doubts are also transposed on the orientation (romantic? platonic? sensual?).

I never felt something remotely similar to this for anyone. I've never felt so comfortable opening up about anything, i actually never really did it, i used to always keep everything for myself. For them i wouldn't mind trying many things i never considered, or if i did consider them i would only find them "repulsive or embarassing" applied to myself.

Right now i would think about being Demiromantic, but since i overthink about everything in my life, i'm doubting it because "i'm pretty sure this is a very unique situation that will never happen again even with similar conditions, so if it's a one-time thing, can it still be considered as demiromanticism or maybe it's just an exception from pure armoanticism?". To make an example, I know of some people that would define themselves x-sexual, but for that specific person they are able to "transcend" their orientation. (but maybe this is just another type of attraction i still don't know about).

I would appreciate if someone could give me their opinion on the matter. Labeling this wouldn't really change things, of course, but it would help me understand.

So, it's been a while since I've experienced actual romantic feelings for someone, and I think I might have a crush on one of my friends, but I'm not sure.

I get really excited to see him, like butterflies kind of excited. And I get sad when we sometimes go days without talking. And I genuinely want to spend time with him.

BUT, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. I think part of me is actively trying to shut it down because I had such a bad experience with my ex, so I find myself actively looking for flaws and red flags because apparently I have to overanalyze everything.

Oh, and to top everything off... I'm a lesbian and he identifies as a dude. So, I'm just all kinds of confused here. So, fellow demis... any advice or words of wisdom? How do you all know when you're experiencing genuine romantic feelings?

I told them I have a crush on them and they just said "Oh I see". It didn't really change anything between us and things just kept going as normal. They just in general confuse me though. They've sometimes said things that almost sound like flirting while other times I'm not even sure if they even see me as a friend. It's really hard for me to tell what they think about me. Sometimes I barely talk to them and they seem rather cold while other times they talk about us doing stuff together in the future and how fun it will be. (We've never met irl)

I tried to destroy my hopes and get over them but they keep saying things that won't let me. They seem to have almost the exact plans for their future life as me which leads to it being impossible for me to not imagine a future together. If they would've had different dreams and values as me I could just say "Oh well we wouldn't work out anyways" but everything fits together so well. I just keep thinking about how perfectly it would fit together. Sometimes they also say things which make it seem as if we're gonna be part of each other's lifes in the future. I wish I could mention exactly what it is to make more clear what I mean but I can't since they and multiple other people I know are also on Reddit and it's so specific that they'd immediately know that this is my account.

I know it's stupid but I can't help but wonder why they're not into me. They've actually called me attractive in the past and in general I just keep thinking that we'd be perfect but obviously there's nothing they can do if they just don't feel the same. It's not like love is based on reason. My stupid brain just keeps telling me that they're maybe just too scared to admit that they also like me or that they maybe just misunderstood my confession.

Also sorry if there are any grammatical errors in this. I'm kinda tipsy and very emotional

Edit: Feel free to dm me for more information. I really wanna talk about this but at the same time don't want anyone I know to find it

They don’t get it. They can’t see outside of instant attraction. I’ve been flirting (meaning just exchanging direct eye contact) with a cutie for weeks now. Neither of us has approached each other. I know for me as a demisexual,and I believe demiromantic, who rarely experiences instant attraction it just doesn’t work for me like that. I know I have a romantic interest in this person but honestly i’m not comfortable doing anymore than what i’m doing. He seems to feel the same. When I gave a him an up and down look (checking him out) he immediately turned away like he was shy. I would’ve reacted the same way. And I was honestly not feeling the gesture so I wouldn’t do it again. We fell right back into our usual eye contact. Why is their so much pressure to immediately display interest?

Hi, I am quite new to the term Demiromanticism but having read a bit into the matter, I realised, that I kind of feel like I could be a demiromantic. Therefore I thought I'd just ask the people who might know best :)

So to me, I am 25 years old, identify as male but I am not the stereotypical man... I am into cosplay, some romantic stuff and as of new, I bought myself some thigh-highs and a skirt because I just wanted to and I feel great wearing them! I'd not consider myself a femboy (yet, you never know), I just accepted my feminine side and have no problem living it out around friends.

So I have been in 4 relationships in my life and currently am in one (more to that later). I got to know my first girlfriend (I was 16 back then) via League of Legends... we instantly clicked and became friends... about 2-3 months later we got together and I was happy. I felt an emotional bond to her, I was definitely in love with her... although sometimes I just didn't feel it that much or at all (but that might be because of my depressions that I have since I was around 12), the feeling always came back tho. (Trigger Warning - Unaliving) >!When she committed suicide at the age of 18!<, my depression just got worse and I even went almost mute for 3 months straight.

I knew my second girlfriend as long as my first, because I got to know her through her. We were very good friends from the beginning and she told me that she had something for me. I felt it a little too (not as much as with the first one tho), so I went into the relationship, which was a very casual one because we didn't see each others very often and we also phoned and texted less than I did with my other girlfriends because of her work times and her having to sleep way longer because of a disorder. We ended it on good terms and we are still friends.

I have known my third girlfriend for an eternity... We met online when I was 11 while playing Dungeon Defenders. We became very good friends and at first there was no attraction whatsoever from both sides. As we got a little older (I think around 14 years old) she got into a relationship and that bothered me a little, which I told her. She revealed to me that she had developed feelings for me but didn't want to tell it to me because I did not seem interested in her, that was the moment when I started to feel something too. She never really broke up with her boyfriend, therefore we didn't get together (this time) and we lost touch around when I was 16. She contacted me again when I finished school, at first no romantic feelings on both sides but that changed in about a month. We got together for about half a year and things ended in a very ugly way.

At the start of 2021 I felt that I could create an online dating profile to maybe find some people... maybe I also felt the rush to getting a girlfriend because all my friends got one and hadn't much time anymore. Well in about 2 hours after downloading the app I found a cute girl who talked about artsy stuff in her bio, I contacted her and we met about a week later. We instantly clicked and things just started to work... I felt a little bit at first but feelings started to increase after we got together (which was about 2 weeks after meeting each other for the first time). Same thing as with my first girlfriend - I had feelings for her, but sometimes these were just gone or weaker than before. When she broke up with me for the first time, I really felt that this hurt me so much and I wanted her back, which I showed her and we got back together... my feelings increased and it felt like she was my very best friend but also the one person I truly loved... but these "dips" still existed, especially in times where I had to focus on other stuff (e.g. exams). When she broke up with me in May this year, I fell into sadness very hard, so hard I had to hospitalise myself so I don't harm myself (which, retrospectively, was a very important step to getting better).

Okay, we are in present time! Currently I am in a relationship with a girl for about 1 1/2 months. I met her online, we clicked instantly and I thought this would repeat the same way again and it kind of did... we met within 2 days, I thought she was cool and yeah, let's just try the relationship. I realise now, that I have very low romantic feelings for her anymore and sometimes I just feel annoyed by her, for me, negative traits (with my other gfs this wasn't the thing really... yes they annoyed me a bit, but I could easily ignore that).

Regarding crushes - I had a crush on a cute girl in school, but I realised that I just liked her cuteness overload, and with my best friend - this was about 2 years in our friendship and we had an important moment, where I protected and cared for her emotional wellbeing... I kind of developed a crush for about 1 week, but that dissipated very quickly and never returned

So yeah that's about it for me and my history with romantic feelings and I hope that gives you an insight. I know demiromanticism is a spectrum (as kind of everything is), but do you think I fall into it?

If you have any questions, feel free to ask them!

PS: I know having someone other than myself tell me "yes you are that" or "no you aren't that" isn't an absolute answer and I should always look for the answer within myself, but I thought a little insight from people that don't know me would be helpful to start somewhere :)

Thanks!

I see a lot of people here talk about dating as a demiromantic being really difficult because dating apps are pretty much for allos or it’s rare to get crushes or when they happen, the person only sees you as a friend and it’s too late. I deal with the same things, and a recent post on r/Demisexuality made me think I’m approaching things the wrong way. What if I’m always rejected because I’m constantly trying to only date Allos who don’t even begin to understand my experience (or will move way too fast for me)? Is there an app or website that caters to people on the aro/ace spectrum?

So, I googled “Ace dating app” and a website popped up called Acespace. Has anyone tried this website? I just hate the feeling of being doomed in terms of finding a partner because I’m double demi (demiro/demisexual) and there’s been no success for me on the apps or trying to find people in real life. Thanks in advance!!

A few months ago I found that I (21 agender) am demiromantic. After breaking up with my ex, I’ve found that I’m quite lonely but I’m unable to form romantic relationships because of it. I’m realising that I’m jealous of my close friends because they aren’t and can’t quickly find themselves relationships. I joke about finding myself a boyfriend with my best friends but am silently questioning everything about myself because I can’t because of being not only being demiromantic but trans as well.

There is a celebrity that I just started thinking about all the time, I get a feeling in my chest, I might also have anxiety unrelated to this.

I've just met this person that I, an allo, am very interested in romantically. I haven't told her how I feel yet, because our friendship is still very new, and I tend to catch feelings faster than I'm comfortable with. She's described herself as "very demi" and I've never had feelings for someone like that before.

What can I do to navigate this? Do I say anything about my feelings for her, or is it better to let her come forward if and when she's ready?

Also, she mentioned that a QPR is kind of the dream for her but I'm a little fuzzy on what exactly that looks like? Can an allo be part of a QPR?

Signed, a confused but hopeful allo

If someone shares interests with me or is knowledgable about something I want to know about or desires to be around me in certain situations, I’ll feel satisfaction about how they’re useful to me, but I can’t say I’ve ever felt something I can put my finger on as love for a friend. I’ve never missed a friend either. What I missed always comes down to the utility value they provided which anyone could provide, not missing them as a person

But if someone sticks around long enough, they’ll kick up big heart feelings and I’ll start falling for them.

What’s the deal?

I don’t know what community to ask about this, I looked at aplatonic but thats mostly aromantic-and-aplatonic people, I’m not aromantic. I know about alexithymia but I think I’m in tune enough with my feelings to know this absence is real

If I haven’t been around someone long enough to start catching feelings, then I feel like if I were to hypothetically stop talking to them permanently at any point, I wouldn’t feel one way or another about it at all. And I am told this is ‘not normal’, can make me seem extremely cold, I worry

[Male] so I'm not sure if I'm Demi or it's something else. I have no problem being sexualy attracted on the surface, but I can't really get intimate until I'm very close to someone emotionally. This causes problems especially trying to find a not so serious relationship. Basically, I think there hot, but can't really move forward unless we start out becoming friends, and very slowly move up to more. Then once we are close I get bonded making any attempt at a casual encounter impossible and painful.

So for anything like that it would end up having to be a long-term best friends with benefits situation for it to work, but creating that seems to be impossible.

I 26F is demiromantic/ demisexual . I have never been in a serious relationship or had any romantic encounters, and I haven't had my first kiss yet. Coming from a conservative family, I am facing pressure to find a man. However, it’s difficult for me to do so because I tend to fall for people who are my friends. I don’t want to risk breaching the friendship, and on top of that, I’m extremely self-conscious as I am plus-size. I often think that the people I like deserve someone better than me. In the end, I feel alone, unable to find someone. Cannot go on random dates or have casual flings!

This is very long and just me talking about my feelings I guess. Sorry it's so long

Uh, so this is a bit weird to talk about I guess. Or not idk, I'm new to talking on here lol. So I started questioning if I was Demiromantic last weekend (so the 18th I guess) and I've gotten attached to the label. I had a crush I think on someone I was friends with from the ages 5-12. I think it was a crush? And now I'm thinking idk if it was a close friendship first. I knew them since I was 4, and society kinda sets up "boys and girls can't be friends they must be in love", yk? But definitely obsessed over him a lot... it was weird (yes it's cringe but I had things to the point of "I must eat my cherios in even numbers because imagine I'm in a competition with others who want to date him and that would impress him" it was weird but I was young). Idk if I liked him but I think I at least did in later years (unless it was just an obsession but I think it was love ngl). We were close friends too though. I had a crush on/was in love with my best friend (we'll call R) a couple years ago now. That was definitely a crush. I felt the feelings (on an off, but more so as we time went on). I'd known him since 11, he made me feel super loved and wanted at 13/14 and got me out a bad situation. We started getting closer and I definitely developed feelings for him. I also had micro-crushes on people I was/had been friends with in thr past/at the time (like 3 of them, one was someone I'd had a toxic friendship with towards the end - the feelings were towards the end, one was a close friend but it couldve just been admiration+ sensual + they're so pretty, and another was just they were nice to me about something).

Other than that: I imagined having kids but never the spouse (assumed husband but no specifics), didn't have any proper childhood crushed except maybe Hiccup, Astrid and Jeanette (yes I know that last ones weird). I don't think I wanted to date them though, just thought they were hot (I'm not ace, I know I'm allosexual). Only recently I've had a celebrity half crush - David Tennant - and that developed through crowley, which developed through a cosplay me and R did where he was crowley. Ended up associating crowley with him. I don't think I'd date david Tennant though. He just seems like a lovely guy and I think he's pretty lmao. I find/found the idea of sharing a bed weird (except when loving R romantically) but it's gone again now). I planned that if I dated then we'd share a house but have different rooms - or at least beds. I can't really imagine myself dating/marrying anyone. I'd rather focus on my music career and honestly I feel like a husband would just get in the way. I love the idea of having a partner hypothetically but idk if I actually could.

Now after all that, here's the issue. Maybe I'm not. I might have a crush on a guy in my class (we'll call J) (damn the way I'm assigning letters to unknowns I could be in algebra lol). He is a really sweet guy and funny to. Definitely love him somehow. I feel like we're quite similar. Both are kinda quiet/not talked to in our class much. It seemed like for a bit he didn't have many people around him - and last year I didn't either. He's also a roller skating instructor and I love rollerskate- I used to do roller hockey. I feel like our vibes match up. And I get so anxious around him and I don't know why. We're sort of friends. We sometimes speak. I get nervous when he comes to sit near me because I sometimes wonder whether he likes me. I think I might have a crush on him honestly. I got a little jealous of when he seemed like he was closer to another girl than me - it could be an attention thing on my part - I have got a mild issue with that that I need to work on, I will admit- but I'm not sure. I have occasionally brought up thr fact I rollerskated a marathon around/to him because I like sharing things I've done/boasting about stuff like that in general (like I said, I have a little problem, I don't like the problem at all). I've brought it up twice. Like I said before, I get nervous.

I'm not sure if I want to date him or not though. I could see it working but at the same time it feels awkward. But I'm not sure if that's just because I know I'm not in a mental state for a relationship (the one with R ended rockily and I've also been recovering from anør3x1@ over the last year - which might've also affected my romantic attraction the past 3 years). Kissing would probably be uncomfortable. I don't mind the idea of dating him I guess but I'm not sure either way. Maybe I kinda do but I'm repressing it because I really thought I could be demi and got too attached? I'm not romance repulsed at all - I ship fictional characters all the time (still cry over AziraCrow S2e6 lol). I literally have no clue if I have a crush. I think I might though and I'm just making out that I dont/might not. If you couldn't tell I overthink a lot. Sometimes I overthink a feeling and end up feeling it. I thought I had a crush on another guy the other day and then saw him and realised nah I just think he's funny and also find him hot. J is a little different in the fact I didn't not feel anxious. But in the past I used to think "I want to invite J rollerskating" but got anxious thinking "what if he thinks I'm asking him out". Idk if I actually wanted to ask him out though. And if I compare it to R, the nerves are a little similar but I ended up loving indulging in that crush. I listened to sweater weather wayyy too much in 2022 and fantasised k!ssing him and going stargazing. That's only now crossed my mind with J because I'm wondering if I'd want to do that with him since I did with R. It's all so confusing.

There's also the fact that I might have had a crush on this guy B in my form who I never talked to and we definitely did NOT have an emotional bond. But that couldve just been being intrigued by him. I still kinda am. He was an idiot (always got in trouble and was annoying), but he had a rough background and I thought he was probably quite sweet really jusy traumatised. I wanted to get to know him. Dating did cross my mind sometimes. And I found/find people hot/cute but no idea if that was/is romantic. I found a few people really pretty and could see myself kissing them but that couldve just been sexual attraction??? No idea. I feel like I've gotten attached to the label demiromantic bc I've never understood how people can have a crush on someone they don't know and honestly didn't even know that was a think (e.g someone in my form suddenly having a crush on someone else in my form on the first day of high school - no way people actually do that). But now I don't know. Maybe it needs time? I've vaguely known J for just over a year - and didn't have a crush on the first day of college. Only relatively recently am I genuinly really considering that i do I think. I also has a mini one on someone from the open day but that was because they had a cavetown shirt and I thought "oh that's cool" and just imagined what that could be like. They're dating R now and I definitely don't love them like that now, if I even did. A lot of these I hope I didn't andni think I hope I didn't a lot because I've gotten attached to this label which I feel guilty about because I don't want to call myself demiromantic as an attention thing because that's not right. I've not spoken to anyone irl about it because I don't want to say I'm something I'm not.

I think that's all? Sorry this is so long

Tl/dr: help I got too attached to the label demiromantic and now I'm realising I might not be but I'm not sure and I'm kinda mourning the label. Does this experience sound demiromanric allosexual or and I just alloromantic

Heya fellow demis, just asking for a bit of advice.

Here’s some context. I have a really close friend that I was best friends with in secondary. We had a big falling out back then, but by the end of school we made up and started hanging out again. Recently, the topic of our mistakes came up, and we finally discussed everything that happened, apologised to each other and admitted our mistakes.

When we became friends again, I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself get too close in fear I would hurt them again and screw up the relationship like I did before, but after we discussed it I feel like I can finally move on and not be so harsh on myself. It kind of hit me since then that I might be developing feelings for them, but I can’t really tell.

I think I’ve had a crush before, but to be honest it can be really hard to see the signs. It can take me years to feel anything for someone and I have to basically trust them with my life, thanks to being demiaroace. I don’t really know what to think of this and how to act on it. Any advice? Thanks in advance

Tldr; I think I might be getting feelings for a close friend but I can’t tell. How do you know when you have/are developing a crush?

I (23 f) have figured out some time that I'm demisexual/demiromantic. The question now is how to get out of the friendzone. I get that I need that platonic emotional connection before feeling something. But this is the third time I have feelings for someone I'm really good friends with. We have already been friends for more than a year. Last time this happened I liked them for more than three years. Any tips are welcome.

Tl;Dr: What are your experiences with first crushes?

So I have a character who's demiromantic/sexual and I would love to make them as accurate as possible, so Ive been doing a lot of research bit I figured it might be a good idea to get feedback from actual demiromantic people.

This character is a young adult who's never been extremely close to anyone before until recently, where he's started building genuine friendships. He has experience with sexual relations, none of them however including feelings or even attraction.

My question is, in your experience, how could a first crush now be experienced? What triggers could there be for genuine feelings or attraction to start? What are your personal experiences with first crushes?

I'm aroace, I think, but I just want to know how it was for you to realise that you do feel romantic attraction. Like, how different is it from just wanting to be friends, I want to know from someone who was like me. I personally, am not sure if I've ever felt romantic attraction, right now I'm questioning it though, I just don't know.

basically the title. i have recently come to the conclusion that i am demiromantic, but this is also proving to be kinda tricky for dating, naturally. i've tried apps, resulting in nothing of course. the only people that "come in question" are my friends, all of which are not really my type.
but even worse: i can feel myself semi-falling for one of my friends, but i can't tell if it's just my brain telling me to since she's the only one who's "a possibility" with me being demi, or whether i actually like her.

sorry for the weird post. i'm just annoyed.

id like to add im also idemromantic even when i have a crush so this makes it kinda harder to figure out

but in the past ive had crushes on people i met recently because we instantly became friends and had an emotional bond/clicked and talked for hours despite just meeting like a week ago , but i cant have a genuine unforced crush on strangers or celebrities. i can be like "oh theyd probably be my type" but i wouldnt actually have a crush?? idk if thats demiro or not though :,^)

ive been going out with this girl for a month and a half now, and though I like her and can see us being together in a romantic sense, I dont want to do anything romantic romantic. Like kissing and flirting, atleast not yet cause im not comfortable.

I dont feel an emotional connection and I really wouldve liked us to be close friends first atleast, then dating. This isnt my first time going through this too, it was the same with my 2 exes and I usually feel uncomfortable if someone rushes too much into a relationship even if I like them.

But also, I do have instant attraction to people. I just find it hard to date someone if im not emotionally comfortable with them, which I do take a while to be. Is this demiromantic or some other thing? Im going to talk to her about it at some point but right now I just want to figure out this

(sorry if not worded well, mind is messed up currently)

Okay, so I (25F, bi) just wanna ask people here what experiences you got and how you feel about dating as a demiromantic. Im curious about this because I found out during the last few years about that Im demiromantic (and might also be demisexual), but not really been dating much until now after I downloaded Tinder to see what its like and met a really amazing girl there I have been on 2 dates with (she is also demiromantic btw 🫶). Dating this girl has made me start to think about things like how long I have used to develop romantic feelings for people earlier and what dating as a demiromantic is like. So I would love if people could tell me how they have experienced it and how you feel about it 🫶

TL;DR: whats your experience with dating as a demiromantic and how do you feel about it?