I don't know how many of you have seen Guardians of the Galaxy, particularly the second and third movies, but I can't get enough of the relationship between Drax and Mantis. They form a very close relationship during those movies but it is purely platonic, no romance or hints of a sexual kind in any way. Even in the end they part ways but still nothing in that nature, and it is so satisfying beyond anything. In the age of storytelling where two people are expected to be together, this is one of the best examples of two people, particularly of the opposite sex, beginning as friends and STAYING friends. The MCU has had a lot of influence for many years and this doesn't get enough attention. I hope more people notice this and it keeps going because I think it was amazing to see something like that especially from a major franchise.

I just wanted to get that off my chest!

My personal asexual truth is my relationship with sxx & sxxual things has always been not good. I don't have a healthy connection with sxx/intimacy/sxxual things. I only feel truly comfortable when I am completely by myself & pleasuring myself. I can only come in very specific weird positions & with a specific sxx toy. I hate sxx noises, moaning, dirty talk, bed creaking, sex scenes in movies/shows, pn etc. I don't even feel comfortable pleasuring myself in front of another human/partner, even if I truly trusted & loved them. Everytime I have actually had been intimate with whomever, I don't feel anything. I dissociate. It feels like a chore to me. I don't really feel anything..I pretend to be okay. I pretend, pretend, pretend. In the past, I know it seemed like I was okay during intimacy. But the truth is I was just fawning & freezing. I just had trauma responses. Everyone says "Your partner is supposed to make you comfortable with sex, feeling pkeasure in front of them/with them, etc" but unfortunately I just CAN'T. I am only slight hypersxxual & comfortable when I am completely by myself & with my imagination. Even if I seemed hypersxxual in the past. It was a trauma response & my body/mind not knowing what to feel or do. I am nothing but awkwardness. & Unfortunately physical intimacy just doesn't really do anything for me. If I am in a relationship, I feel guilty because I don't WANT to make my partner feel unloved by telling them these things. The unfortunate truth is 99.5% of men aren't okay with sxx averse asexual females like me, because supposedly without anything sxxual, a relationship is pointless & making another person sexually frustrated because I'M asexual is not okay & I should just be alone forever or some bullst . And then, if my partner gets sxxually frustrated by me, he will start watching corn & pleasuring himself to it (which I am very very against because of personal beliefs & I hate p**n) might start being unfaithful to "fulfill his needs" etc. So everything is pointless & will never get better. I just feel so lost & alone. I realize that I do have trauma & MH diagnoses, & have been working on it with MH professionals & help ..but I feel like I have always just been this way ever since I was brought into existence. Thanks for letting me rant in safe space💔❤️‍🩹.

I don't feel sexual attraction but watching porn, I can only watch it with women and I don't get attracted, of course, but I wouldn't mind having that. But only sex with someone I don't know or have a connection to, like a one night stand or hiring someone. I think I would like you have sex or wouldn't mind having it, only some pretty safe or basic ones, vanilla stuff, and only with someone I don't know. Can someone explain why?

Hello, I'm just here to ask a question, because it just randomly came up in my mind. Do asexual people still desire self pleasure? Because I know it means that they usually don't feel any sexual attraction to other people, or they do but only if they are emotionally attached to that person. (I think that's called being demisexual)

But does that also mean that asexual people don't masturbate or watch adult content?

I have had sex for years regularly and used to enjoy it. Now, I have no interest whatsoever. I don't know if it's because I don't love my partner, the crippling OCD or hormones but I genuinely think I could go my whole life never having sex again. I have 1 child currently and I'm so grateful I have her and love her so much but since I'm so miserable in my current relationship but have no plans to leave, I think it'll have to be one and done.

Sometimes i genuinely hate being asexual. Im asexual and biromantic, and i really want a relationship one day but i know the chances of that happenening in a way i want it to is gonna be basically impossible. Im 18 and i know that ive got a long time ahead but the chances of me finding love feel so small. Im repulsed to indifferent abt sex, and in general am disgusted by a lot of it. Ive kinda just accepted that ill probably have to have sex if i find a partner but i know i wont be able to do a lot cause i frankly do not want anyones genitals anywhere near my face or hands. My country does not have a huge asexual population (a.k.a even if ppl are asexual they wont know it cause its not hugely known here) and it makes me feel so alone.

hii!! im always wondering whether there are more songs that resonate with the ace experience. does anyone have any recommendations or personal favourites they know? very lacking in my playlists, and the only song i can really think of that has ace rep is "we'll never have sex" that i listen to a bunch

I have told my mom that I'm Asexual (well situation forced me to, was gonna tell but I wasn't ready with resources or anything to explain) but now that we are here my mom's obvious thoughts are something is wrong with me, it's not like that, and we have to visit doctors... Now the problem is I'm very bad at properly explaining myself like I know I'm asexual I know what everything is but I don't know how to explain that, I have been trying to find resources in our language as mom doesn't understand much of English but well Asexuality is very much misunderstood and not talked about in our country so now I'm looking for resources in our language (Hindi) and things that I can make my mom believe it's not psychological or medical problem.

I'm both asexual and sex-repulsed (trans male). I get grossed out even just by a joke since I can picture stuff with a lot of details. So some dirty jokes just makes me sick. Even though others I joke about and understand.

Someone said that's not how asexual work and that doesn't mean you have to be repulsed by a joke. One good thing everyone is calling me a guy!

It's a joke about cumming into a jar... which is just gross to me and I don't understand why people would? I guess also my autistic side isn't helping either with this joke?

I called myself childish for thinking like this. For thinking that anything sexual is gross. Like cum, kissing, dicks or vaginas. I can't help myself for having any of these hates.

I guess just everyone around me just doesn't understand how I feel. Plus with how everything is always over sexual, it feels like I'm trapped.

I want to preface this by saying that I've only had a few actual relationships in my life, and most of them were traumatic. Starting at 12, and now, I'm turning 20 soon. I don't have that much experience with romance or dating, but I've always been a hopeless romantic. Fantasising about the day I'd get my own romance and meet my special someone; it's all I've ever wanted.

Now, for the last few years, I've technically gotten into a couple of relationships.. But they all only lasted for a few days. I'd start dating them, feel a bit strange about the person. And by at least day 2 or 3 I just feel fear and discomfort. And then I break up with them and run.

I should also clarify these have all been online relationships! I was homeschooled from middle school upwards, and I'm currently semi-disabled and am unemployed due to health issues. I pretty much live online unfortunately.

Now, I started dating this girl (I'm also a girl, and so far I've identified as pan). I did feel drawn to her, and I entertained the idea of what it would be like to date her. You know,, hopeless romantic imagination stuff. But we started flirting and we decided to go for it. I thought I wanted it. I was sure of it this time. I haven't known her for more than 2, maybe 3 months, but we talk everyday and have a big friend group. I was feeling like I was beginning to crush on her, so I thought why not?

But now, it's only day 3 or 4, and I feel extremely uncomfortable and scared. I know instinctively I don't want this, it's all I can think about. Whatever I had felt for her before is either gone or completely overshadowed by this feeling. I just feel so uncomfortable..

The thought that I might be Aro or Aro/Ace hit me, and now I'm extremely confused and conflicted. Having a romantic partner has pretty much been the only thing I've for sure wanted my entire life. If I AM aro/ace, then I sincerely don't want to be. I am very attracted to fictional characters, and I find myself developing legitimate feelings of love for them. But with real people.. So far, it's just been experiences like these.

Could I be aro/ace? Or does it seem to you this is moreso stemming from trauma? Or perhaps I could be demisexual? I don't know.. All I know is I don't want to be in this relationship anymore and I've gotten myself into a real pickle, since this girl is super highly affectionate and likes me a lot. I don't know what to do with myself.

[Serious] I(m21) can't understand. My wee wee gets hard when I am near unknown women. That must mean I am sexually attracted to them. I enjoy watching corn but I don't get aroused much fantasizing about irl person, I mostly just replay the corn scenes in brain even when fantasizing, means I never masturbated fantasizing about real person. But when I see a neat good-looking woman, I wish to be with them. I often think about other women & want to be in a relationship because I have been single my whole life. But I don't want to do anything sexual with them even though I get erections when I am near them. Can it be due to a past trauma? Tldr: My brain don't give me urge to do anything sexual with a person but still my wee wee get hard near that person.

So I (28m) work in security and I find my excessively heterosexual coworker to be hilarious. This man has a wife yet he will get on YouTube and fawn over these "gorgeous" women. I just laughed and said "all you man", and at one point he pulled up a video and asked me if I thought the woman in it was "gorgeous". I wasn't sure what to say so I just said I'd have to get to know them first.

He also said something to me about some of the client's employees as they were passing the turnstile at one point. Something to the extent of "man all these gorgeous women" wasn't really paying mind lol

Just thought this was weird and funny maybe relatable.

probably so TMI⚠️ but idk what else to do so i have to talk to someone. i’ve never had sex before but i also don’t really feel that “need” or “want” for it like others do. partly because i’m very insecure with myself and could never imagine anyone seeing me fully without clothes on, touching me or being that close/ intimate with anyone etc. also because the idea of sex itself doesn’t sound all that appealing to me personally. but what i’m confused about is that ill still do stuff by myself quite often (besides fingering because i cannot get over myself and just try it, I’ve tried so many times but its like my mind and body both wont let me do it) i want to be able to do this stuff because its considered “normal” to people and in society in general. the few people I’ve tried to somewhat talk to about this have basically told me that no guy will ever love me or want to be with me if i wont have intimacy with him. so I’m very torn because I’ve always been the hopeless romantic type i mean I’ve had a few crushes where i’d have genuine feelings for them but it never worked out, i can notice when people are attractive or “hot” and talk about it with my friends no problem but then to actually do the deed when it comes down to it I’ve never been one to think too much about it or be overly excited or anything. my last boyfriend and i did some intimate things but not actual intercourse and it took me a MUCH longer time to let him to do anything for me even though id try to do stuff for him earlier on ish. it is and always has been VERY difficult for me to even mention some of these words or talk about things like this. so if it made you uncomfortable to read I’m sorry i tried to put a tmi warning but i had to push myself out of my comfort zone to write this because i feel like I’m going insane fr.

I couldn't find a tag for "friendships" so it currently says relationship above. I'm just posting here if there's any aro aces or aces like me here who'd like to be long term friends. Someone who is perhaps similar to me, and local?

I'm 20f, in London UK, neurodivergent, I like watching Kdramas (comedy, romance or something else that's interesting). I like authors that write fiction books relatable to real life. I'm very introverted. Do you like kdramas too, do you have similar interests?

If you're also in London too can you send a message? Someone maybe to be like a sister? It would be nice to know a little about yourself as well if you decide you also want to chat and perhaps at some point meet up. But conversations first : )

So lately I've taken up writing as a pastime and I like to come up with different ideas for stories. One of which is a love story with erotic elements to it.

I want to write this story one day but not until I put together a full plot with the characters. My dilemma is that I have no idea how to write a story with sexual elements to it and I can't base anything off my own experience because I don't have any. Also I don't view people of that nature.

So my question is; is it weird to want to write an erotic story even though sex doesn't appeal to me in real life?

My daughter thinks she is asexual and would love to have a romantic relationship. Where do asexual people meet each other. She is in the Bay of Plenty. Thank you so much for any help. She has tried the traditional dating apps but has not found others who identify as asexual.

Hi all, I was wondering if you know of any good books that cover the whole spectrum of asexuality and explains it for someone who is new to this topic? When I google I find some books but I wanted to ask if you can recommend a specific one? Thank you!

hello, i’m currently in my first serious relationship (19f). my partner has known i’m asexual from the beginning but i wasn’t as sex repulsed (i dislike how harsh ‘repulsed’ is but it’s just the terminology lol) and i would help them out quite frequently.

for context i have severe ocd and i have recently fallen back into a bout of depression. with these things increasing i have found myself between a rock and a hard place. i have become 100% sex repulsed for lack of a better wording and don’t want to do anything sexual with my partner anymore i am completely content with existing with my partner in a non sexual way.

they on the other hand are a 19yo virgin who i know wants to experience sex, wants to explore their sexual identity and wants but i think they have in their head that this will pass, i will want to do more sexual things than im currently comfortable doing, in the future even though ive tried explaining my standpoint that the sexual acts we were doing before are my limit, that i dont want to try anything else, and now i don’t want to do anything at all.

how do i navigate this? is there a way to find a common ground that doesn’t involve me being sexual? i love my partner but i know sex is a big deal to allo young adults but i have tried making myself clear :(.

I've been trying to figure out what my romantic/sexual attraction is for a while now; no matter what I search up I can't find anything that fits whats I am and what I am feeling. For me, I'm extremely hypersexual and I crave touch and dream of sexual activities, while, at the same time feeling uncomfortable with it sometimes and knowing that I might not even want to actually participate in said activities. As for my romantic attraction, I feel as if I rarely feel it and if I do then its really strong for a while but then fades away; when I'm in a relationship I feel happy but also sad, and, when the relationship ends, I also feel happy but sad, relieved even? I feel like my craving for a relationship is just me craving sexual things and nothing else but at the same time wanting to actually enjoy and be happy with someone, I don't know, I'm confused.

Don't get me wrong its good there out there for people who need them. But I'm ace, and I'm struggling because my brain doesn't like or react to anything sexual- often it just confuses me but my body has a disconnect and I often find myself incredibly uncomfortable for what FEELS like no reason and no way to fix it cause its not mental. Its physical.

I went to see a gynocologist to ask if there were any drugs or something that just- decreased or got rid of libido. Nothing. Just "go on a walk" or "get a hobby". I have hobbies. I love walking. I read, I do things and yet my body and mind are at war and it SUCKS. I hate it. Its not always but it gets bad and I hate it. It makes me depressed.

It feels SO unfair that the medical industry has a bajillion different ways to increase libido and solve that problem, but for people like me (and other aces) there's nothing. Not even a radical hysterectomy can garuntee to get rid of this stupid feeling and sensations I don't understand and I don't WANT and just make me feel awadul for No Reason.

I hate it. I just want to feel like a person I don't want this its so stupid. Like can we please get at least a LITTLE research into it so that " taking a walk" is not the medical advice I receive after spending money for help. What the Frick.

Do asexual dudes get boners (from a person who is not asexual)

The first time I (15M) have been romantically or sexually attracted to anyone was with my (now ex-)girlfriend. Since our breakup a year ago I've never felt romantically or sexually attracted to anyone, until today apparently.

I'm a pianist and I was performing at a competition. I ended up finishing in 3rd place while a boy (15M, we'll call him Raven) got the gran prix. Well deserved, congrats to him and all, but also when I saw him I thought about how cute he was and how I wanted to cuddle with him and kiss him and whatnot (the things I only wanted to do with my ex prior to this). I now have doubts about what I am anymore. I overthink everything all the time already, I don't need another source of overthinking now >:(

Also, I still feel super mega ultra neo ninja confused about whether I'm platonically, romantically, sexually, or aesthetically attracted to someone. It's so much pain all the time and idk what to do with it

It made so much sense. As a teen and after, I’ve never been able to pull off ‘locker room talk’ even though it was pushed on me in boarding school. All that shit is abstract.

I’ve never thought about the act of intercourse or nudity. Again, abstract.

I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I suppose I thought these were standards any relationship had to follow, but I never ‘got it’.

But all my friends were almost always straight guys, so I thought I had to like, be with someone that way…in order to call it a ‘relationship’

I’m free. I don’t have to think stuff like that matters. It never did.

Thanks!

Dan (tsunami butterfly)

So, hopefully I can make sense here and also not upset anyone. Trying to understand myself, I guess.

While I understand sexuality is a spectrum and there are varying degrees of being ace, are there folks who think cuddling, kissing, making out (leave everything below my navel alone!) could also factor into being ace/adjacent? I am 44, trans F, and fwiw, only have ever had less than 5 physical partners my whole life. This includes women I have even ever dated (Yes, I still like women). So....not wanting anything at all do with lesbian sex, but still very much having my heart go aflutter at the thought of kissing someone or playing with her hair or touching her - where does that put me on the sexuality spectrum? Maybe I can use this crowdsourced answer to better identity myself on whatever dating app I decide to give my info to next!

I'm trying to crochet a scarf and wanted more yarn (like multicolor) and I found this and didn't realize until after I was holding it did I realize the colors

You see this, this is why I don't have friends they always somehow fine a way to fck it up.my best friend of seven (I'm in the 11th grade) said he wants to have s*x with me. It doesn't only hurt because I'm asexual it hurts because I never expected it from him. We were having more usual conversations last night making jokes laughing over the phone and then he just sprung it on me (he told me some very disgusting and disturbing things he wanted to do) why does every friendship end up like this especially with guys. I want to block him so bad but at the same time I don't have the heart to do it because on the other hand he's my best friend of 7 years that's a long time why did you have to come to this. Now I'm here crying in my room like an idiot, I don't know what to do anymore. should I be done with him or forgive him? Why do guys always do this why do they think it's okay?

I'm really tired of being the way I am. For reference, I am (not to toot my own horn) an attractive eighteen year old girl with a busy social life. I've gone on a fair share of dates and male attention isn't something that's hard for me to get. My sense of humor is crude and sexual, I dress in a way that shows off my waist and chest, I'm a huge flirt and I love the idea of how men want me but get nothing. I like that power I have, but at the end of the day, like most people, I want companionship. But I can't get over my fear of intimacy. I get scared that every guy I meet will get bored of me because I won't have sex with them. On top of that, my last and only relationship was abusive and I'm scared of being tied down to someone who might mistreat me. I'm hyper independent and scared of sex but I love it when people desire me. I have no desire to have sex, ever. I don't know what to do, I just wish I was normal. I need a Roman Roy in my life. Does anyone else feel the same? I feel so alone.

I’ll preface this by saying I’ve only recently realized I’m not straight, but asexual, so I haven’t ever experienced homophobia IRL or from anyone I know, so it just doesn’t really get to me like it unfortunately might for someone who has had to deal with it their whole life. But with that being said, I absolutely LOVE arguing and debating with homophobes.

It’s just so funny to me watching them stumble over themselves to call me some mean name like “sinner” or “demonic”, even homophobic slurs. They’re always like “you’re a freak.” And I’m just “Yeah no shit, I know lmao”

It’s even funnier if they’re a Christian because I’m a Christian too so I know how to shut them down. It’s just really funny watching them insult me and immediately break the biggest commandment they’re given (love thy neighbor as thyself) the second they find out I’m not straight and it’s even better watching them lose their minds when the person they hate and consider “not a real Christian” serves them their own religion’s teachings. Sometimes I’ll see somebody harassing another player with a pride flag on their avatar and I make sure to go and drag their hate to me cause I know most people probably hate getting harassed by homophobes, but I absolutely love it. So I make sure everyone gets what they want, the other person gets left alone, the homophobe gets to insult an lgbt person and I get to laugh my ass off over how pathetic all their arguments are.

The arguments “against” being asexual are always the funniest to me I’ve been told to “go to a doctor and get hormone injections” or “that’s literally impossible, you HAVE to have sexual attractions!!” And I’m just laughing my ass off cause now I’m apparently achieving impossible feats with ease. It’s also just so damn funny to me that people will hate on Asexuals for literally doing nothing.

I also just love arguing and debating too so I can go on for hours. I’ve even convinced a few homophobes to change their minds because I just kept talking to them about it for hours on end. And even when they just dismiss me and say I’m “beyond fixing” I get to laugh that they couldn’t break me.

I can 100% see why other people wouldn’t want to engage with people like this, but I just love arguments and debates in general and fellas like this tend to not be the brightest of folks, so they’re really easy to counter from my experience. I just find it so fun to laugh at them.