Low key just curious have no idea why but I am

I’m exploring rope play with my partner. I wanna start very simple with just restraining my hands together, above my head, to the bed frame. I’ve looked up some tutorials on knots but they all tie the hands without the rope secured to the frame already. Is it possible to secure my rope to the bed so it is anchored before I get tied up? Or are is it not rly possible to do because I need to be able to feed the ends of the rope at some point?

For reference I have no head board so the rope needs to be secured to the bed frame under the mattress which is why I wanna secure it before hand because ik that will be a pain in the ass to tie down in the moment

So wanted to find out more about free use I'm 37m, was in the middle of having sex when she said freeuse which I hadn't heard before so was abit puzzled. Guess I'm asking how to go about or actually start it? If that makes sence so that I can know what to do when or if she likes that.

Since I found about Femdom and Female led relationships, it feels as though the online content isn’t made for me. It’s clearly made for the viewpoint of a man and doesn’t excite me to watch really. Even impact scenes, it’s like I’m only excited if I’m the one doing it, not watching someone else perform the scene. Also as someone who enjoys seeing masculine men acting submissive or in bondage, the only place I see it celebrated is in gay bdsm and femdom literature written by other Dommes. So much of femdom content leads to sissies or feminization. (which I’m not yucking anybody’s yum it’s just not my cup of tea) I want to watch a masculine man being submissive while maintaining his masculinity. I don’t need the reversal of gender roles to feel like the dominant one. I don’t see my dominance as “acting like a man” and I don’t see subs as “acting like a girl” I’ve always felt the way gay men discussing their attraction to men related more to the way I desired submissive men which has led me to enjoying gay porn.

Any other Dommes with a similar experience?

I’m really trying to explore BDSM in Maine but I’m not sure where to start…Where do I even learn about this stuff in my area??

My Sir/ Husband is getting too good at tease & denial and forced Os. I want him to check in with me occasionally, at a some point, because I’m definitely getting to the point where I’ll forget safewording. I’m not actually not sure I could even before that, because I could barely speak at that point. Our play does included s/m so it’s not just about letting him know I’m about to break down because of too many orgasms. Lol & OMG so many. 😳

I don’t know, and he wouldn’t know, when he might need to do that and the best ways.

How do Dom/mes go about doing this and what indicates to you that your sub is beyond safewording?

An actual TIFU. Today, after a few rounds of mockery-laced, light CNC, my sub was begging to top me. Being the kind DD that I am, I agreed. She requested specific positioning (doggy) and, while it was definitely great, it must have gotten to her head because she started getting sassy. I moved to reposition her and she hit my leg with her fist, so I smirked and returned the favor. Then she made a sudden movement that looked like she was going to slap my face, but stopped herself. I thought to seize this moment and escalate a little tit-for-tat impact play to put her back in her place. Here was my fuck up:

I pointed to my cheek by basically tapping my chin. “Go ahead,” I taunted.

She shook her head.

“Do it,” I insisted.

She replied timidly, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I assured her with another smirk, “You wont.” And then, in that voice, “Do it. Now.”

And so, being the trusting, obedient sub she is, she did.

As her arm came hurtling towards me, I stared confidently into her eyes. Then I noticed a rounded shape in my peripheral vision. I had but a moment to think to myself is that a fist? before she knocked my jaw sideways. I had, unknowingly, ordered this action upon myself. The previous blow to my leg had been a fist, and I had tapped my jaw right where she landed the next one. This was 100% on me. I sat there for a moment, dumbfounded. The horrified look in her eyes was priceless too. Finally, I laughed, she laughed, and I told her to get me some ibuprofen for the instant headache. Of course, this didn’t end our fun, but it sure broke the momentum for a hot minute. 10/10 would definitely recommend.

Tldr; I didn’t specify a slap when I ordered my sub to strike me, so she punched me in the jaw instead. Now I’m nursing a postcoital headache and pondering the balance between accurately reading context and conveying my wishes verbally.

I have never heard of a term or if it is real but it's been very hard to get over the one..

My wife loves being dominated.. Absolutely loves everything about being submissive in sex. But, the problem is, I am not a natural dom.. I honestly am probably more of a submissive. I would love to find her a real dom as she is very sexual and I think she would/will absolutely LOVE it and just craves the sexual dominant energy I lack. I have brought up sharing her a few times and she hasn't freaked out, was somewhat receptive, but seems more reluctant just because she is worried about people finding out. Any advice on finding her a dom or how to give her that dominance she craves when it just isn't natural to me? In almost 20 years being together she has NEVER said no to anything sexually, but I just don't push her limits like she wants/needs.

Hello, BDSM Community! I've been a sub/switch the past 10 years and have recently been exploring the Dominant side more. I have a remote partner who is new to the submissive side. When we were together I used a whip, handcuffs, rope, and other items on him. What have other Mistresses or Masters done from long distance to keep the relationship going and mutually satisfied? I know the distance limits quite a bit in terms of BDSM, and the majority will be text and instruction based. We've looked at app controlled toys, cei, and denial so far.

I did think about what I wanted or needed as a sub, but my crave and his are different. I needed approval and to be used. He is looking for private humiliation and to be used.

Any suggestions help! Thank you :)

I ended things with my bf/Dom a little while ago and just can't get over it. I initiated the breakup, we both understood why things weren't working, but now I wonder if I'll ever be able to meet someone whose company I'll enjoy as much as I enjoyed his and with whom I'll be able to enjoy kinky rough degrading sex. I'm trying to put myself out there, because statistics, but no one is like my former guy so far.

At the end, we didn't even do scenes anymore... He shut down my last request, telling me to talk to my therapist instead of having a scene. So it needed to end. And now I find ways to inflict and enjoy emotional pain on myself, since I don't have someone else to do it for me, but it's different.

Basically, can y'all give me some words of encouragement that I'll find someone else to enjoy both normal life and kink with? There's got to be other intelligent, tall, handsome guys who have real jobs, want to be a part of my life on a daily basis, and who also want to tie me up, hit me, and fuck afterwards occasionally? Who might enjoy it if I cry during sex? I just need some external hope right now.

For me it would be foot service/worship! I was never interested in feet or doing anything with them until my Dom one day told me to put my nose to his toes and that sealed the deal for me I was instantly turned on by this task and grew to love worshipping his feet.

I’m extremely happy to be able to let everybody know that as the title says yesterday I found my inner masochist again after many years! I was afraid after many traumas I could never enjoy pain again but here we are. I’m beyond delighted! For the first time ever I asked someone to spank me harder than they did. I even got couple pretty bruises 🤩

I've (19m) been talking to this girl (21f) and we've sometimes been talking about sex with each other, like the different ways we can fuck once we meet up (we haven't met up yet because we've both been really busy with finals and we don't live that close.) A while ago I told her I very into BDSM, and we agreed that maybe we could try some kinky stuff but only after being vanilla for the first few times we have sex. Anyways yesterday she called me daddy and one thing led to another and we started talking about fucking again. This time I told her about a really specific and somewhat extreme fantasy I have and she was going along with it saying it was hot. But later that night she was texting me and told me she "just wasn't as freaky" as me and that talking to me earlier kind of made her emotional, and that she wanted her first time to be something special and vanilla. She was then telling me about how I don't deserve her because she gets too emotional about these things and then can't communicate them properly. She was worried that it was a deal-breaker. I tried my best to comfort her and told her that she was an incredible person and that it wasn't a deal breaker, and reminded her that our first times would be vanilla and that all I wanted was for her to give it a shot.

I feel really bad and I don't know if I handled this right.

I recently got into this specific practice, and noticed that cum lube is really quite expensive, especially in relation to how it’s used (compared to normal lube). For what I want to use it for I don’t reall need it to work well as lube, it just has to be safe to use on and in the body. Any good recipes, or recommendations where to get safe stuff a little cheaper?

They say that those events are "more focused on sex, flirting, connection, and titillation." They go on to say that there are demo stations with sensation-based activities like wax, with "exhibition scenes that are playful and hot." So, am I to understand that Blush features hooking up for sex (one-on-one, couples adding a third, etc.) amidst the above participation/observation?

This sort of thing is new to me. Thanks!

Im a dom S, bisexual , I have been invited to join a sub couple as a dom. They have asked me to first experience it with only the sub husband as a trial and have told me there fantasies in detail. Now I want to get some tips as to how to go about this.

Hello everyone!

I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a while and ask if anyone here has had similar thoughts or experiences. This is a space for discussion, advice, or just sharing perspectives – I’m counting on your openness and understanding.

My partner and I have an amazing, loving relationship built on trust and honesty. Because of this, I can share even my most hidden fantasies with her, which would otherwise be hard to admit. Recently, I’ve been thinking about exploring new, more taboo areas of our relationship – things that go beyond traditional boundaries.

One of the things that excites me is the idea of playful interactions with another couple or individual in a BDSM context or engaging in light intimate exploration. I imagine us together in a controlled, trust-filled environment, exploring scenarios like BDSM (e.g., shibari, being led on a leash, gentle group spanking) or intimate activities like shared oral experiences.

One of my deepest fantasies is giving someone oral pleasure together with my girlfriend – for example, both of us pleasuring another woman or me going down on a man while she explores intimacy with another woman. The idea of this synchronization – each of us giving and receiving pleasure – feels incredibly exciting. I would love to see her fully immersed in the moment with another woman, exploring her body with that unique blend of tenderness and passion she’s so good at.

In terms of BDSM, I’m fascinated by the idea of exploring activities like:

• Collaborative shibari, where both of us are tied or tying others in a creative, intimate way.
• Gentle dominance scenarios – for instance, my girlfriend leading me on a leash while I take on a submissive role in front of another couple.
• Participating in demonstrations or sessions where we explore dynamics of control and surrender – for example, her gagging me and deciding what we do next.

Alternatively, I imagine us meeting another couple online (e.g., Reddit, a forum, or a dedicated site). We’d take our time to build trust and open up to exploration. This could start with a casual meet-up on neutral ground to discuss boundaries, and if we all feel comfortable, move to light experimentation in a private, safe space. It might involve oral play, with different configurations, but without full sex or emotional entanglement.

What excites me most is that this would be a shared experience – something we do together, for us. It’s crucial for me that it’s built on trust, clear communication, and well-defined boundaries. This isn’t about cheating or a lack of love – I adore my partner, and these things would only be an opportunity to deepen our connection.

Has anyone had similar fantasies or experiences? How did you set boundaries to ensure these experiments strengthened your relationship instead of complicating it?

I’d greatly appreciate any advice, stories, or suggestions – thank you for reading and for your openness!

I don't feel comfortable using the site or speaking to a specific person anymore, and was hoping to have certain personal details removed. Their privacy policy states "group private messages" are kept, but I don't know if those differ from personal DMs.

Is it a thing that one person takes control a couple sexually, having them do what the third person say? Can think of many different scenarios, but is it common?

It's easy to determine whether a person is red flag or not . Do you what's your red flag. I want asked what characteristics of yourself considered as red flagged.and yes ignore my grammar like you ignored your future :))

Hello everyone. I am currently working on a project where I am researching the power dynamics of freeuse and CNC sexual relationships. In particular I’m trying to write about the ways these are empowering and allow people to take control of their sexuality. I have some amazing primary interview subjects, but I’m looking for more secondary information as well! So if you could please share your experiences with these dynamics and how they’ve empowered you.

I have recently connected with a service sub and we will have our first dom/sub meeting this week. He enjoys completing chores and giving foot massages. Sex is completely off the table. I am very new to being dominant and would like some tips on how to set up our time together to make it enjoyable for us both.

I just came from an area near Berlin and I used the JoyClub website to find clubs. The thing was full of places there. In Sweden there seems to be much less even in the area of Stockholm.

I found the Mansion and not much else. Plus other options seem to be for members only and or don’t have frequent parties. So am I missing something and there is another website to look or this is the real scenario.

22F, I may have recently discovered my submissive nature but I'm not sure. I have a few questions to ask before going deeper in the community:

1. I've not been in a romantic relationship before (just don't have feelings for males I've met irl). I don't know how would I feel or be in an intimate relationship, so would that make me not suitable for BDSM dynamics for now?

2. Is it difficult to meet a soft Dom? Most Ds content I saw online is in a relatively "hard" way. While I also fantasise to be controlled and dominated by a strict man, I think I prefer to be guided, mentored, taken care of and spoiled. Or is that considered ddlg?

3. What qualities do Doms usually look for in a sub?

4. Is it hard to look for a Dom in Malaysia? I'm a Chinese Malaysian girl, never heard of any platform for BDSM community in the country (I mean, this sounds normal here). It feels like I would never ever have a Dom in my life TAT

I hope you guys can clarify my doubts. Thank you so much folks!

Was playing with a fwb - one clamp went on no problem, the second clamp induced a sharp sting of pain that lasted for a day. I'm not sure what happened - the clamp itself didn't draw blood or scrape me, it felt internal. Plus I haven't felt any weird lumps or differences between either nipple, checking in after. Any idea what went wrong? I want to be clamped...

In the comments here feel free to introduce yourself, talk about what you've been up to lately, things you're looking forward to, anything you'd like. Talk to other people, get to know each other, share those stories and brags.

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I have a femdom fetish but SOLELY breast smother stuff. Like I wanna be dominated but I'm only into it if there's a lot of breathplay with her smothering me under her tits.

I ask because I rarely see this fetish catered to, there's not many creators that actively put out content for it and I have never encountered another guy that shares my very specific fetish. Assuming this is a fetish.

I am a f who has recently started trying out different times. I like being played with but more than that, being left with good bruises from the past.

What are the best toys/articles that can be used in tits n ass to leave beautiful marks for the days to come? The pain tolerance level is average.. around a 6/10

My partner (33M) and I (30F) are both switches and have talked about gifting each other collars someday. He suggested (for me) a more discreet one for public, and a more obvious one for private, which I love!

For all my lovely collared subs out there - What are some features you like, or think I should consider? I would also love if you want to share a link to a good vendor so I can check out quality ones! Looking at websites on my own has been fun but it’s hard to tell the quality. Thanks!!