So… I didn’t book in a session with my therapist for 2 months and before that, I saw her consistently every week for 2 years.

I decided to stop going because I felt like she wasn’t able to provide what I need (she practices psychodynamic therapy) and I felt like I am aware of how my upbringing affects me and etc, but I’m looking to move on and not dwell in the past. Our last session, I asked her if I have made improvements and she said that she doesn’t measure a clients progress which rly ticked me off because… I just wanted some validation? TLDR: I concluded we weren’t a good fit.

But I decided to schedule another season because I didn’t want to just “cut her off” by not scheduling and I wanted to say a proper goodbye - i realised I tend to cut people off so I thought it would be good if I could end things “properly”.

I rehearsed what I wanted to say multiple times in my head, and I was calm, cool and collected. But when I was in the session, i couldn’t even make it past half of my rehearsed speech and I started crying and idek why???

And instead of my initial “certainty” of wanting to end therapy, I now feel conflicted. And I was actually doing well before I contacted her again, like I was stable but now I feel like I’m back to the constant googling about her/ psychodynamic therapy and etc etc.

Why does therapy actually make me feel worse?? It makes me apprehensive about booking the next session or even starting therapy with someone else

I feel like I was generally ok mentally and highly functional, in school, career and even socially. One day, I became very physically sick, with what I now understand are psychosomatic symptoms. Started therapy to cope with chronic illness and then suppressed trauma started emerging. Since so much of the trauma is currently in my consciousness from actively processing it in therapy, I’m so easily triggered, and honestly feel like I now am almost worse mentally.

But at the same time, I guess the anxieties were somewhat there before already but either milder or maybe just in the background.

I'm a 27M and my therapist is a female who is probably 3-5 years older than me. I'm experiencing extreme positive transference towards her. I'm in therapy since 8 months and initially I didn't open up about my major issues but now I'm able to do that from the past 2-3 sessions but the problem is that I feel extremely uncomfortable while talking about that and also I feel extremely guilty about oversharing in the sessions. Should I take a short break from therapy and resume after few days or what else can I do about this?

P.S: I mentioned about positive transference because I feel even that might be the reason for this Vulnerability hangover.

This doesn’t happen when I start with a new therapist… It just slowly becomes the norm with every therapist I see, after they get to know me more. Why are they doing this? When I come into session they are just quiet and wait for me to lead it entirely. I have no issue asking and bringing this up with my therapist next session, I am just curious in the meantime to know what it is about me that is leading them to do this? What kind of situation or client is this technique encouraged with? They did not do this in our first 3 or so months of sessions.

Thank you!

Edit: I’m wondering now if it’s because they simply didn’t have time to review notes before our session so they didn’t remember what we spoke about last time and therefore didn’t have anything to say and were hoping I’d start talking to jog their memory. Lol. Maybe I’m forgettable and that’s why it keeps happening.

hi, i’ve been doing therapy with a wonderful therapist now for about 2 months.

he’s really helping me.

i struggle with feeling bad, lonely, guilt, depressed, anxious.

when i talk to him, i can be myself. i can say the bad thoughts i have, and be honest. he says i’m not bad. he says i’m a good person. he makes me feel good, connected, not alone, less low & anxious.

and when i feel good, i can do the things i want to do in my life, work, study, relationships, etc.

but it doesn’t last long. only during the day of our session… then when i realise i won’t see him for a week, i feel alone, unsafe, and low & anxious, and bad.

and i can’t build my relationships when i feel bad. i don’t enjoy their company. they make me feel worse. i feel more bad. guilt. i’m not motivated to study/work.

so all i want to do is sleep sleep sleep. sleep till our next session. hibernate. i don’t want to go through life feeling bad.. so i want to just sleep all day everyday until our next session.

i journal. a lot. like a lot lot. i read our emails. but i still miss him. and feel unsafe. and stressed. and low. and bad. and alone. and guilty.

so i just want to sleep :(

so my question is, does it get easier? as time goes on, will i feel good without his presence. will i feel connected to him despite being a week away from him. if i can hold onto that good feelings, i can do what i want to do.

Today was my last session with my therapist and I haven’t been able to stop crying. We both agreed I was ready to “graduate” as I’ve grown so much since we started working together 6-7 years ago, but I can’t stop feeling so sad. They helped me through a lot of anxiety/depression issues but also helped me be a human - they really felt like an older sibling who I could turn to for advice (they are only 10ish years older than me). I feel so lucky to have had them in my life and be a part of my journey, but I feel like I’m mourning a death. Just looking for validation that this is normal and how others have coped ❤️

I’m having some concern after sharing some history w my therapist. I’ve shared this history with several past therapists, and each one thinks something totally different about if it was trauma or not. Current T thinks I’ve walled off the emotions and it may help to explore them, but I think it was nothing and any emotions that come up are just my mind wanting to exaggerate to feel important or special for going thru something. I’m adhd and have a vivid imagination. So if I believe this therapist and try to re generate vividly the memories to get in touch with the emotions that may or may not be accurate to the event (no way to know if I’m generating I feelings based on intentionally bringing up vivid memories to feel like I’m feeling something). I am afraid of being traumatized by the act of believing I’m unconsciously traumatized. Any ideas? Is there a risk in presupposing one or the other.

Hey guys, I've been going to therapy for a few months now. But like, when I get home from work, I'm tired.

Really tired.

So after therapy, I'll forget a buncha the stuff we discussed, and so I feel like I'm not getting as much out of it as I could be tbh. I remember asking my therapist if they could share the details of our session with me. Just a summary or something like that after each one. They didn't seem very open to it

The struggle is that I really want these notes, because without them, I just feel like I have a productive time *during* therapy, but then I get home and feel like I'm back at square one. I'm tired.

Is this just me? How do you guys deal with this? Would appreciate any advice.

How long till you noticed changes?

I feel like I am going in circles. No diagnosis, but I relate to CPTSD. Years of therapy and trying different approaches but I am just so stuck and lost. It’s been 4 months since seeing a psychodynamic therapist and i just feel the same. I feel like I am failing therapy, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why I seem to be struggling so much to make changes in my life. I wear a mask that has helped me get through life and I can’t seem to uncover the baggage underneath that mask. I know it’s there but I can’t seem to build trust and feel able to open up and let my therapist see the darkest, ugliest parts of me that I want to hide. I’m starting to feel like I’ll never heal.

I’ve been having a rough go of it lately, and I feel like I could have prevented this backslide by implementing the myriad of coping strategies my therapist has recommended to me. I’ve implemented them before and have gotten to really good periods of mental health, but it’s back to square one. I’m not eating, sleeping, and functioning well. Therapists, how do you feel when your clients slip back because they didn’t/haven’t been maintaining good use of their coping skills or strategies?

Hi all!

I had a session scheduled today from 4-5pm that was supposed to be a video call. This is my first ever session with this therapist and my first ever session of therapy in a really long time (~8 years now). I've been really nervous but ready to jump into it.

I hopped on the call around 3:55 and they weren't there yet. I was early so I figured they'd be in soon. Then 4pm comes and goes, 4:10 comes and goes, 4:25 comes and goes and suddenly now it's 4:40 and they're still not in the call. At this point I had gotten up and was doing some chores and such and just keeping an eye on it very passively bc I had already assumed the enviable.

I left the call and messaged the therapist generally just saying hope all is well, I waited, assumed they got caught up etc. A few minutes go by from this message and they call me on my cell (which I missed the call) and also messaged me back saying they got caught up doing something and lost track of time and to give them a call back. I haven't gotten back to them yet because I'm unsure of how to feel. I'm generally pretty bummed and feeling like that was very unprofessional given this was supposed to be the first session and the fact that I had to message them first for them to even realize. But I don't know and I'm wondering if maybe I'm overreacting and should give another chance before requesting someone new? Evidently these complex feelings are the reason I was seeking therapy! Lol

Thank you for reading!

EDIT: thank you all for your responses! A lot of yall reflected a lot of what I was thinking and I am going to find someone else!

My bf of 2 years broke up with me a week ago and wants to stay in contact. I hear that a lot of therapists tend to encourage their clients to go No Contact, at least for a period of time, after a breakup. Thats also generally the advice you read.

My therapist keeps encouraging that maybe that isn’t the healthiest method and maybe if I want a chance at rekindling it, I should stay in contact, even as friends.

Just curious for those of you that have been in therapy while you went through a breakup, what general advice did they give? How did that go for you?

I live in Idaho and I know it depends on the state, I have Medicaid and need therapy but I can’t afford the kind that would work best for me, which is text therapy. Something like Better help or Cerebral. Having to use my voice over video chat or telephone makes me feel held back from expressing every detail and also makes me a bit anxious. I know its something I should work on but I feel like I can’t even dip my toes into therapy without going way out of my comfort zone and I don’t think that it is fair.

I’m struggling with severe anxiety, which keeps me mostly housebound and has impacted my ability to hold a job. I only go out 1-2 times a week to the grocery store with my mom, and I’m too anxious to drive or see friends. I’ve quit multiple jobs within days due to panic attacks about social interactions and overthinking, and I’m supposed to start a new job tomorrow, but I’m already panicking and might not go. I’ve been searching for quick mental health support in my rural area, like walk-in clinics, but haven’t found anything. Besides my parents supporting me, the only income i get is like $500 refunds from my college. Nobody in my household has insurance. Without a steady income or insurance, I’m wondering if I could use my income or my parents’ on something like Zocdoc to find a sliding-scale psychiatrist? I feel stuck and need a way to break this cycle so I can manage my anxiety and work. I need to work to be able to live but my anxiety doesn’t allow me to, i really want to be part of society. i seriously need help but it all seems like a deadend and hopeless. edit: please do not be rude. i am obviously trying to reach put for help and i dont need rude people making it even harder for me.

I cant cope between appointments even tho I got given a free check-in mid week. I'm dying. It's hell. I had to admit my childhood sexual abuse recently and it was the end of my resilience. I can't go on normally. Everything hurts, I can't do my homework, I can't make good choices, I can't go anything but think about harm. The crisis lines are no help. I am fearful of relying on the few ppl around me in case they leave or sink under the weight. I keep waiting for therapy to mske things better but it just gets worse and worse

Last week, I was told that my therapist called in sick and couldn’t go through with any of his appointments that week. This was fine by me, and nothing of concern. It happens. Today, I woke up from a dream in which he was still sick and called me into his office to look out the window with him which, in my dream, was about ten times the size than normal and overlooked a beautiful garden. Then I checked my inbox to find an email from the office urging me to call as soon as possible to discuss my next appointment.

So I call. And the second that this woman starts speaking, I know what happened before she says it. It’s in her voice, the way it’s shaking, it’s tiny tremors and cracks as she asks if I’m able to talk about something difficult. I’ve had this call before, but not as a patient. She tells me he “passed away” out of nowhere, unexpectedly, and that the whole office and his family are completely shocked, mourning him My stomach churns. My mind races. It wasn’t possible he suddenly died of a physical illness—he was young, lean, and active. It couldn’t have been some freak accident—I would have heard about it.

He had disclosed past struggles with depression many times before, as we were very comfortable being candid with one another, but of course, you never assume the worst outcome. You never think that someone is going to die just a few years after meeting them. You never think the person who tells you that you deserve to live will kill himself. Trying my best to not break out into violent sobs, I asked her if she could disclose whether or not it was intentional. She paused for about ten seconds, sniffling throughout the otherwise silent moment. She stuttered, rapidly muttering uh and um before, ultimately, saying she said she couldn’t. But we both knew, and then came more silence until she whispered that she was so sorry.

He hadn’t even gotten to turn 30 yet. This man, 29 years old, had already helped me, a woman of 25, infinitely more than any other therapist I had seen throughout my life. I have extensive trauma that often makes me terrified of men, and yet I trusted him with my life. I was hellbent on staying with him. I have spent hours sobbing in absolute grief, thinking of his family, thinking of how much I truly appreciated him and all of the ways in which he helped me. It is because of this man’s helping hands that I have been able to feel capable of the growth I have accomplished. And now he is gone. And here I am confronting this sudden, violent lack. And now I sit wondering what I’m ever supposed to do after this.

The idea of seeking another therapist feels so vulgar, borderline blasphemous, given the dynamic I had developed with him. I think in any significant social relationship, people develop a type of language of their own, accumulating phrases, gestures, and word games all rife with signifiers which allow them to communicate in a way that wasn’t possible before. This can be a radically life-affirming way of bridging the distance of subjectivity. To lose a friend, for example, can feel like losing an entire world, because within that friendship really did exist something akin to a world. And, well, to lose a therapist feels like losing an extra sense that helped you see through the dark.

I don’t know what I’m “allowed” to feel. I am grieving him in the way I would grieve a friend, a loved one, even while recognizing the nature of the relationship. I have always been cautious about potentially unconsciously perceiving therapists as anything but. I recognize that the therapist-client relationship is, ultimately, transactional, that he and I were still cut-off from each other’s respective lives as we lived them, that the room with a velvet couch is, functionally, phenomenologically separate from everyday life. At the same time, despite the fact that I will never know him in the way that family and friends knew him, there was still a unique connection that I unwaveringly cherished and held close to my heart.

When people I know have died by suicide, I have grieved with friends who also knew and loved them like I did. Who am I to talk to about this? Well, I know who, but he’s gone.

God, why? My heart hurts. I am so sorry for his family, friends, and all who knew him, including clients. But mostly I am sorry for him. I am so so sorry for him.

No longer will I be able to tell this man, trusted above all, about my progressing thanks to his perspective, seeing his face light up with joy and awe. No longer will I step into his office and watch him turn off the lights like he knows I prefer. No longer will he email me a song he thinks I’ll like. no longer will we spend the last twenty minutes of a meandering session joking around about philosophy. No longer will we sit in the middle of the floor together laughing at his handwriting as he makes a note about flowers for me to take home. No longer will I keep a note on my phone every week of things to tell him. No longer will I feel like I can absolve myself of shame simply by treating his office like a makeshift confessional booth. No longer will I hear his laugh. No longer will I feel dread wash away just from a few comforting words by him. No longer will I feel like at least one person will always understand me without failure.

I am sorry for the long, rambling post (I can imagine my therapist exclaiming at me to not say sorry for that). I hope that literally anyone on earth has any insight whatsoever on this. I don’t know what to do.

Did it help or not? Did they break the mask or not? How did they react?

Well yes. I feel like a disaster again, i have CPTSD, and currently i feel like my loving and wonderful therapist can’t help me because i will always be like that. I have her for 4 years now on and off, and almost inevitably the therapy always interrupts for some time due to external reasons (mine mostly) and i just can’t cope with the feeling of losing her again, and i have other problems collapsing on me right now, probably traumas coming to surface too and i just feel like i want to call her and cry and tell her that i can’t go to the next session because i just can’t do this anymore, and we have to end our sessions anyway again soon (i am moving..). And i don’t know what the hell is my problem because one time i am super engaged in the process (literally one week ago i sent her my homework but i would have 2 weeks remaining to do it..) and other times i want to throw everything away and leave, although i adore her and i need her. So now i am feeling the letter again, and if this state of mind continues next week i am afraid i will call her and collapse. I called her only once before in 4 years while breaking down and she was hella happy and supportive for it tho. What is going on in my mind anyone?

My therapist and I often meet in person but due to some issues with the office heat this week we met virtually.

I’m not the biggest fan of virtual therapy, I feel like it get more out of in person, but it’s usually fine. This time though while I was talking, some audio from like a video or something accidentally played on her end - it happened twice over the course of a couple of minutes, and I could tell she was kinda tuned out and was just asking somewhat generic questions.

When she fully tuned back in she clearly hadn’t been listening because she followed up to what I’d just said but it was clear she’d misheard me and was expressing the opposite of what I’d just shared.

The rest of the session was ok but I feel weird about this, she’s an intern so I know she also has school on her plate so I feel badly, clearly she has a lot going on.

How would you all handle this one?

I've been working with my DBT therapist for 1 year now, and I feel increasingly annoyed with his self-disclosure. Every single session, he spends at least 5 minutes going off on a tangent about him and his life. I guess it's in relation to what we're speaking about, but it's unnecessary information that i don't want to hear.

I mention i'm a HSP, he says yes he is too and then gives a 5 minute long example of his intuition.

The 60 minute session is largely focused on me, but the 60 mins are precious to me and I want to use all of them moving forward with developing my skills and processing my trauma. Any kind of self-disclosure is frustrating to me.

It seems like he sees me as a friend, and wants more of a 'back and forth' conversation style. Most things i mention, he then mentions something similar about him. It gets me very irritable to mention something personal, and then have to sit through him mentioning something similar that's happende to him. Like he's not actually listening to my words, but just waiting for the next opportunity to 'relate'/ take up space himself.

I know his mum died 5 years ago, and he was fond of her. He has a grown-up son and they go to games together regularly. He's single by choice, lives alone. His favourite food, his hobbies, where he eats his dinner in his house, just so much more useless information that i'm paying a hefty fee to hear.

Hi all- please be kind here im about to be vulnerable in this post so some feedback would be great. I felt belittled in my last session and honestly Im shocked as I write this but my therapist asked me what are some of my worries so I started with what next week Nov 5 will look like. I mentioned Trump and said how Im concerned I don’t think hes a good man. She says says who? Im like me. What makes you think that? Because of what hes done and said- January 6. Then shes like that was all staged. There were cameras and people held the doors open. And im like…. People died that day. She was like says who? The wikipedia… the internet. Well Wikipedia isnt reliable and neither is the internet. I kept stammering and was like but im also a puerto rican and the comments made last week about puerto rico are offensive. And she was like regardless people probably still hate puerto rico anyways before that comment happened. I just was silent. And i kept trying to tell her like vulnerable things such as I am disabled- The NY Times literally said he said disabled people should die. And she was like the news media and other forms of media are just bullshitting facts because they all hate trump and its all false. Im like ok but explain why he said it was an act of love on january 6? And she was like because it was… i really thought she was helping me and i just felt so belittled in my session and i couldnt find the right words. I wanted to tell her youre confusing me. And she just was like did i just blow your mind? And im like uh… yeah. I guess. I don’t know what to do and wanted to ask if this is a violation against the HIPAA ?

I, 20F, finally worked up the courage to recover from my ED and get a psychologist that might help me out on this journey. I struggled with anorexia a few months ago, then bulimia-purging type, and now with bulimia-non-purging type.

So, a week ago, I had my first meeting with my college psychologist. For the first few minutes, she seemed nice, then she slowly started saying things that seemed a bit odd and really triggering. The first thing she said was that I look "healthy," not skinny, not fat. Keep in mind that I was extremely malnourished, very underweight a few months ago, and now I have gained a few kilos since becoming bulimic and going crazy every day because I want to go back to my sick body. That was something that caused me to change my mind and not seek recovery anymore. She managed to say that a couple of times throughout the session.

Another thing: she was certain that I eat out of boredom and that I'm just a binge eater, when I mentioned multiple times that I overeat because I starve myself, but she insists that I just don't know how to eat mindfully. She also mentioned multiple things, like a suggestion on how to control food intake, which I believe might not be ideal for a person who is restrictive with their foods. She mentioned how she read somewhere that a food portion should be the size of a fist. She mentioned how drugs stop hunger. She also told me that the next time I have an urge to "binge," I should just leave the house without my wallet instead of addressing the issue of WHY I eat large amounts of food. Maybe I'm just stupid and don't understand how these specialists work; she did say that I'm stupid because my brain is not working since I don't eat fatty fish (which does make sense, but why call me stupid?).

Also, she misheard me, and instead of "doing," she heard "chewing" and said, "Ohhhh doingg, I thought you said chewinggg, you know, like a cow, hahahaha." That was really something. While writing down how to prepare a balanced meal, instead of 50% veggies, she accidentally wrote 50% carbs and proceeded to say, "Oh my goddd I'm sooo fattt for thinking like that."

She also mentioned how she sometimes eats, and two hours after eating, she finds herself at the fridge, but before eating something, she thinks to herself, "WTF is wrong with me? I just ate," and closes the fridge.

Is she really that untrained for EDs, or is my ED making me that sensitive and emotional over little things?

Anyone else had a situation like this come up? How did you handle it? My spouse is forcing me to chose between my therapist and them, giving me ultimatums and it's absolutely crazy. Partner clearly needs more mental health help and to work on themselves and their insecurities but the larger issue is I am terrified I've been subconsciously pushing my therapist away and sabotaging my own progress as a result.

Would you bring this to your therapist and if so, any suggestions? It's a very tough spot to be in.

If somebody is going to therapy, is the name of their therapist or the clinic’s name confidential information?

I (30M) attended a group CBT session and at the start we had to write down a couple of goals of what we wanted to achieve by the end of therapy.

I've struggled with depression my whole life, and my specific issues are that I don't think I've ever experienced happiness or having fun.

The goals we set were supposed to be concrete and quantifiable so I set my goals to be "learning what happiness feels like" and "having fun at least once", but the therapists told me that those weren't very realistic goals. I never really figured out how to formulate better goals, though.

What would reasonable and realistic goals look like, considering my circumstances?

I tend to get blurry vision everytime I sit down at my therapist’s and am about to begin the session. I can’t recall when it started or if it has been like this all these years or just occassionally. But I do know that lately I’ve been actively trying to stop it from happening. Once I even rubbed my eyes to make it go away but it didn’t. I never told my therapist about this and as it has continued for ages I think it gets more difficult to bring this up every time I leave without telling about it.

Last time it was particularly blurry and I could only see her face through something like a cloud of smoke or so. It’s hard to look her in the eye somehow and it doesn’t help me if I really wanted to be brave and try to look her in the eye for once but then this blurriness comes in between and I just can’t see her.

I also suffer from sweating during our sessions and it makes me feel so ashamed because I sweat through my pants while sitting there. Luckily it is not as bad every time.

Could you help me figure out what this could be and how to stop it? I have no such thing with blurry vision with other people in my life.

So…

I was abandoned by my therapist.

I just want to give some background check.

I think this is the best thing for me moving forward and luckily when I had come here 2 months ago to make a post discussing the concerning behaviour I faced by her, I came to realisation that through everyone’s opinion on her unethical behaviour, she is not a good fit for me.

My therapist crossed many boundaries with me, in fact I feel frustrated because I feel as though she would take advantage of my vulnerability in these sessions and 7/10 times would just want to listen to “tea” about my life for her own satisfaction.

Anyway, I ended up seeing her 2 months ago after she crossed a boundary with me and raised her voice at me in session . I addressed this with her only for her to say

“You misunderstood me I didn’t yell at you.”

She kept denying it which honestly upset me even more, to which in the end she eventually said :

“I guess it’s something I need to work on.”

After denying it for 10 mins in our session.

Anyway. Once this session ended, I had my next one booked in.

She had offered herself to give me discounted sessions because of my financial struggles as a university student. Soon after the session, perhaps 3 days later, her receptionist emails me saying

“Your sessions moving forward will be full priced now as your package has expired with the discounted offers.”

Firstly , what pissed me off was that there was no package, she in fact offered to lower the price herself

Secondly , you cannot tell me it isn’t a coincidence that she got p’eed off at me and suddenly decided to increase the cost, possibly to push me away?

Anyway, I had to cancel that week and decided not to go as I couldn’t afford it.

Then moving forward, a month later I was having a bit of a mental breakdown and messaged her to see if I can come in.

She would ALWAYS respond to my text and say “I can fit you in today or x y z .” I was shocked when she ignored me

Ok I thought , I would call the reception.

This is when my stomach dropped

Her receptionist immediately dismissed me saying she has no vacancy. I said that’s fine. I’ll wait till when she does. And then they told me nothing is open for the new year?!?! Mind you my therapist isn’t someone who’s too difficult to get in. So you’re saying between now and December there’s NOT EVEN 1 spot? I doubt it

When I wanted to book in for January 2025 they told me there’s nothing available as the appointment diary isn’t open yet.

OK I said, when will it open? “We don’t know.”

And then I said that’s fine , and hung up.

It really felt fishy, strange and almost as though they had direct instruction from her to not book me in.

3 days after this , I had another mental breakdown (just 2 nights ago.) I really needed to see her this time and messaged her asking if she can fit me in. I also said if you cannot see me please inform me so I can begin to see another therapist (letting her know it’s her duty to contact me so she can refer me elsewhere.)

Still no response 48 hours later

Overall, I don’t care, I’m glad I’m mentally detached from this unprofessional waste of a T and I warn everyone here on reddit

If your therapist crosses boundaries multiple times, cut them off and leave! They’re not worth your time or energy. You deserve someone who actually knows how to do their job properly .

I hope to find a better T and just assume this is a sign from God

I’ve deleted her number and I won’t be contacting her again. That’s for abandoning me , but don’t worry I don’t give a fuck, T. :))

I quit therapy about a month ago because I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I always dreaded my appointment days and often wanted to cancel. Honestly, I hate talk therapy it felt boring and didn’t lead to any real improvement.

My therapist was nice, but our sessions felt like chatting with a friend who didn’t really help. For example, when I mentioned I was stressed and overthinking, she’d ask what I like to do. I’d say I love gaming, and her solution was just, “Okay your homework this week is to game more.” There was one day I told her I wasn’t feeling okay, and she suggested I focus on being happy that weekend by doing things that I like. But if it were that easy, why would I be seeking help?

After a year, I felt stuck, hearing the same advice over and over, especially about my anxiety. It felt like I was responsible for finding solutions, while her suggestions were mostly “just watch your favorite show” or “stop overthinking.”

Now I’m considering going back to therapy because I still feel stuck with the same issues I had a year ago. I realize I want someone who takes a more professional approach. I’m okay with less empathy; I just want real tools and strategies. I’m not looking for someone to give me all the answers, but I need help creating a plan and using effective methods.

I know what I like and what makes me happy, but right now, my emotions, like anxiety and depression, feel stronger than any activities I enjoy.

To be honest, if you’re wondering why I quit after a year, it’s because my therapist was very friendly and kind. Since she was my first therapist, I wasn’t sure if that’s how it was supposed to be, and I felt guilty about even thinking of quitting. But now I’m prioritizing my mental health and looking for a therapist who can really help me not just someone to talk to.

I just need to vent. My therapist pushed me yesterday and we spent the entire session talking about my mom and things that she did that I am holding on too. He really worked me and I felt afraid and vulnerable the whole time. It sucked. I even said out-loud, like 15 minutes in, "WOW this Sucks!" I feel shitty today. I drove to work and was replaying the session in my head and feeling myself getting mad at him for the first time since we started working together. I know I'm just upset, but it felt like he was punishing me in a way because we haven't spoken about my mother a whole lot and my relationship with her really broke down my core beliefs about myself.

I'm honestly not sure if this is normal for the process, or if it was too much. I want to impress him and work hard, but man. That was a physically and mentally painful session yesterday. I was getting chest pains while speaking about things. I hate being a people pleaser.

I recently got a new therapist because my old one left and she’s been pretty good so far but knows very little about stuff surrounding my identity. My last T was a queer woc and so am I, my current T is a white straight woman. I didn’t think it would matter but sometimes I remember the conversations I had with my old T and she could bring more to the table when it came to topics surrounding queerness or race/ethnicity. I like my T now but we aren’t able to connect as deeply when it comes to those things. Ideally I would want to find a therapist that’s more culturally sensitive/aware or part of my communities as well but searching for a new therapist is hard and expensive. The place I’m currently at charges me very little because of the sliding pay scale so I don’t want to leave that place for financial reasons as well. I would want to tell her how I feel just to see what she would say and get some type of reassurance but I’m afraid it sounds offensive? or would end in termination. I would want to express that I miss having a T that was more involved/ aware with aspects of my identity but that I think she’s a good T and that I also feel like I can’t leave her because she’s the only therapist I can afford and I feel kind of stuck because it’s either no therapy or wait 3months on a waitlist to get bad therapy for free/cheap or stay here with a good therapist but not someone I’d ideally want as a therapist. To me that sounds offensive. To say “I’m only here because you’re a decent therapist but mostly because I can’t afford to go anywhere else” I wouldn’t want to risk termination or negatively affect our relationship so maybe it’s not something worth expressing.