I(24M) am facing a lot of difficulty in understanding people, intentions and analyzing social cues. This makes me feel like I'm not as smart as others in grasping things. I believe reading social cues, implications and body language is necessary for my development as a person.

Please help me out with any reading materials, hacks or videos to understand things better.

I do not want a political debate.

I just want to know his MO.

Sometimes my confidence waxes and wanes, and as a result I will have great periods of time where people give me their numbers or tell me they'd like to hang out, or at least really act like they want to be friends. But idk, then sometimes the next day it feels like we don't even know each other-- sometimes we don't even say hi. And if I try to text them or talk to them in a friendly way, it usually doesn't end up that well and I wonder how I could have approached it that would have lead to a better outcome.

I can be so good at being friendly with people, but making FRIENDS is so difficult and I really just need someone who is super successful in this area to give me their bro,ken down, step-by-step method that they follow (it may come naturally to you all, but not me unfortunately.) Being friendly with everyone but having no one to make plans with over the weekend sucks so bad.. y'all please help, how do u do it?

I may sound hopeless in this post, but I know that I can be successful socially, as I am a lot of the time. I just really don't know what my blind spots are, but I know they're there.

Even if you just have one little tip or nuance you follow, please comment!! Thank you! :)

Over a year ago I met this girl in a church. Back then I was still a believer in Christianity (have since become a complete atheist) which we did bond over as two young women and also over our interests in vintage fashion. However, over time she began to reveal to me that she isn't some normal average church attendee at all but a serious ideological extremist.

For more context, she's 20 and I'm a bit younger. She started telling me she became a Muslim when she was 16. She started wearing a niqab and even got "married" to a Muslim man at 16 1/2 years old. At her lowest low she was seriously involved in online ISIS groups of people planning actual terrorist attacks in our country (some of them happened) on Telegram etc. and even donated money to ISIS. Eventually she stopped believing in Islam and became a Neonazi instead. She told me she read Mein Kampf (illegal to own in our country) twice, enjoyed it and was planning on doing it again. She sent me content from right wing extremist "Aryan"/white pride etc. accounts and also produced it herself. Of course she was also involved in right wing protests and some smaller meetup groups.

As someone interested in psychology, I immediately identified her as a right wing authoritarian. Like probably everyone else here, I am also someone extremely interested in open, liberal intellectual discourse - I score very low in tests of right wing authoritarianism, even back in my more religious phase. According to a lot of research, right wing authoritarianism is largely genetically determined but it does also have an environmental/social component. From what I have read it also appears to me that trying to socially integrate people with these traits can improve outcomes, prevent them from becoming violent extremists. I have to say my morbid curiosity got the best of me so I decided to consciously continue the friendship and observe how much I could deradicalize her.

Usually when we talked, it was about more normal things like our fashion interests and music, but occasionally she would sprinkle in propaganda. At first, I listened to her opinions and looked at the things she sent me but purposefully didn't react a whole lot. I brushed it off, never agreeing though and would change the topic to fashion or something else to bond with her over. After a while we became quite close, and she began to refer to me as her best friend; all of her other friends were neonazis.

I decided it was time for the game plan of deradicalization to begin. I sat down with her and told her we need to talk about something. We had a calm and friendly conversation about racism and neonazi ideologies. I made sure to be gentle and avoided accusatory language in the process. I explained in which ways I am concerned by some comments that have been made and that they are incompatible with her fundamentally Christian worldview. I showed her examples of Jewish Christian saints that were killed in the holocaust and Black Christian saints. I used language that helped her to see things from her out-group's perspective (i"magine being born as…", "you could have been born in the body of a Black woman" etc.). And kind of to my surprise, she actually sat there calmly and took what I was saying into account. I told her that I was proud of her for considering what I was saying and that I believe she has the capacity to let go of prejudiced and unreasonable opinions, that she is not defined by them. In the end, she made a leap and admitted that she feels a bit disgusted by some of the things she said and that she is beginning to see logical flaws in racism. She even thanked me for talking to her openly and with consideration instead of judging her harshly.

Soon after, she wrote a long message to her neonazi friend and completely ended the friendship. She stopped attending right wing demonstrations. She even began considering attending higher education (after having frowned upon it was a system infiltrated by leftists, and how women shouldn't go to college). Over time, she did still make the occasional racist/homophobic etc. comment but I just continued to respond and have conversations with her and she keeps improving and deradicalizing. During our friendship she has also been to court a bunch of times because the government found out about her ISIS donations. It was an embarrassing and difficult time for her and I decided to support her and keep encouraging her in not identifying with mistakes she has made in the past. She got lucky and got off on probation and is even in therapy on the government's dime now, which has also had good rehabilitative effects.

She is still a conservative Christian and votes the right wing party, but she now makes fun of the neonazis she used to associate with and has befriended African priests. Overall, I can't say I regret trying to see the good in her. I'm not sure I will ever view her the same way as I do my closer friends who lack her Authoritarian proclivities and I'm not encouraging people to necessarily go out and try and befriend extremists. But I do find it pretty wholesome and a bit of an interesting story of how much a kind word and honest discussion can do, even in the case of a pretty pathological ideological person. Perhaps this can bring some of you in America some hope in MAGA times, my regards.

TL;DR: Befriended former ISIS supporter Islamist bride who then turned into a neonazi fundamentalist "Christian". But I have managed to deradicalize her a lot after becoming friends. Results are better than I expected.

With Election Day approaching, it’s common for political conversations to arise at work. These discussions can be sensitive, potentially leading to misunderstandings or tensions. To maintain a respectful and productive workplace, here are powerful strategies for navigating political conversations with grace and understanding.

Strategies for Managing Political Conversations

1. Set Personal Boundaries Early

If political conversations make you uncomfortable, it’s perfectly fine to set boundaries. Clearly expressing your preference early can help redirect future discussions smoothly.

• Example: “I’d like to focus on work-related topics—it helps me stay productive.”

2. Find Common Ground

When a conversation starts to become tense, finding shared values or goals can help bring unity. While challenging, it’s an effective way to keep interactions positive and respectful.

• Example: “Regardless of our views, we can all agree that we want what’s best for our community.”

3. Redirect the Conversation

If a political topic arises, gently steer the conversation to a neutral subject to keep things light and professional.

• Example: “There’s definitely a lot going on these days! Did you hear about [work-related topic]?”

4. Use Humor to Defuse Tension

Appropriate humor can help lighten the mood and shift the conversation to safer ground without offending anyone.

• Example: “Let’s save the heavy topics for dinner! So, how’s that project coming along?”

5. Excuse Yourself Politely

If a conversation becomes too uncomfortable, it’s okay to respectfully excuse yourself.

• Example: “I need to get back to my work, but I appreciate the conversation!”

If a Political Disagreement Has Already Happened

1. Acknowledge and Reset

Acknowledging the disagreement and expressing a desire to move forward shows professionalism and respect for differing opinions.

• Example: “I know we have different views on this, and I may have come on strong. I really value working with you and want to keep our teamwork positive.”

2. Focus on Shared Values

Emphasize shared goals to prevent future conflicts and foster collaboration.

• Example: “We both value practical solutions and want the company to succeed. Maybe we can focus on shared goals that help both of us.”

3. Set Boundaries for Future Conversations

Suggest keeping future discussions light and centered around topics that promote a positive work environment.

• Example: “How about we stick to topics we both enjoy at work? I’d love to keep things positive here!”

If You’re Open to Discussing Politics at Work

1. Practice Active Listening

Listen to understand, not just to respond. Active listening can lead to constructive dialogue and shows respect for different perspectives.

• Example: “I hear you and appreciate your perspective. Could you tell me more about what led you to that viewpoint?”

2. Encourage Constructive Dialogue

Stay neutral and avoid using inflammatory language. This promotes a respectful environment where colleagues feel safe sharing their perspectives.

• Example: “This election brings up many issues, but I’m focused on how we can stay on track with our projects amidst the external noise.”

General Tips for Managing Political Conversations

• If emotions start to rise, suggest pausing and resuming the conversation later.
• Avoid making assumptions based on outward characteristics like nationality or age.
• Don’t hold colleagues accountable for the actions of a government or political leader.
• Be mindful of others nearby, as they may feel uncomfortable overhearing sensitive discussions.

Political conversations can be complex and potentially disruptive. By using these strategies, you can help keep the workplace respectful and harmonious.

What other approaches have you found helpful in handling sensitive discussions at work? We’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Google Search has now Deteriorated to a point where I cannot find any relevant sources using it! Sure society can sees passt this?

making people guess whats about to happen increases curiosity, but what kind of stories work best for this?

One example I know of is by using a challenging frame. framing their actions outside the norm. For example if someone is late for a 4pm appointment say “are you here for the 4:05pm appointment?”

The whole goal of phishing testing is to see if people are understanding and retaining the important points. Those important points should be to detect a phish and to report it to the appropriate internal team. Reporting and knowing how is one of the most important things with protecting the company.

Defense in depth is also important. If one person clicking a link in an email can devastate a company's network, the problem isn't with the phish and the employee. You need layers of defenses, much in the same way that we have multiple protections against fires in buildings and how we do fire drills. Make is clear, make it obvious and easy.

On this week's Layer 8 Podcast, Google's Matt Linton talks about how to do all of this with phish testing!

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/layer-8-podcast/episodes/Episode-116-Matt-Linton---A-Better-Phish-Test-e2piqb5

The compendium contains all of Greene's works, including but not limited to "The 48 Laws of Power," "The Art of Seduction" and "The Concise Laws of Human Nature."

You can try it HERE.

Example below:

Q: What are the top 3 pointers for someone interested in social engineering?

A: To answer this question, I'll need to identify key points from the provided context that relate to social engineering or manipulating social situations. The most relevant information appears to come from "The Concise Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene", which discusses observing and interpreting human behavior. I'll extract the most applicable advice for social engineering from this source.

For someone interested in social engineering, here are three key pointers derived from Robert Greene's work:

1. Develop keen observational skills: Pay close attention to nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, and voice tone. Greene advises: "In a casual conversation with someone, give yourself the goal of observing one or two facial expressions that seem to go against what the person is saying or indicate some additional information." This skill allows you to gather more information than what's verbally communicated. [Source: The Concise Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene]
2. Learn to decode key behavioral signals: Focus on identifying cues related to dislike/like, dominance/submission, and deception. Greene notes: "Your task is to look past the distractions and become aware of those signs that leak out automatically, revealing something of the true emotion beneath the mask." This understanding can help you navigate and influence social situations more effectively. [Source: The Concise Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene]
3. Master the art of impression management: Understand and utilize social roles to your advantage. As Greene states: "Consciously or unconsciously most of us adhere to what is expected of our role because we realize our social success depends on this." By skillfully managing the impressions you create, you can more easily achieve your social engineering goals. [Source: The Concise Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene]

Remember that while these skills can be powerful, they should be used ethically and responsibly.

Hope you guys like it!

What if there was a convention or conference that focused only on social engineering topics? One where you could learn about persuasion or ethical influence or better ways to phish or what is the current threat landscape to social engineering attacks. Would that be interesting?

Within competitive games it will always be frustrating to be this emotional and or cognitive dissonance between you and your teammates. These problems become more apparent by your team losing more and more rounds. I’ve learnt the hard way that it’s no use to try to trash talk your own teammates since it’ll give them more fuel to not do what you tell them too. And with such a short time frame to understand as to what’s going on in your teammates head and me generally not having the best online people’s skills. It’s hard for me to talk to convince these abstract voices to do what’ll help us win the round. The few situations I’ve had players do what I tell them are usually the very brand new players, within their 2hr to 50hr range. But my low rank days are long gone so I don’t know what to do. Is what I’m experiencing just a me problem? Or an inability to be a onlines people person? (If that’s the right word)

When strangers look at you they make a split second assumption, d'ya know.

And this assumption people have on you has a clear pattern where most strangers you meet, will assume your a certain way based on your appearance, etc

So how can you use this assumption to your advantage?

For example, let's say your clean cut/ striking to look at, how can you use the assumption to your advantage?

I would like to get started with Maltego and would appreciate how-tos or links to get started with Maltego using practical examples.

Hey All, I’m a pentester with much experience in that realm but little SE experience and I’ve been tasked with an engagement that would allow me to train an AI with a specific targets voice. He’s a C level employee at a firm in southeastern US. I was considering maybe posing as one of those survey firms that pays people to take a survey over the phone. If anybody else has any ideas of how I could keep him on the phone and talking so that I capture as much sampling of his voice as possible, I’m all ears.

Like I said, I’m newer to this so I’m open to any suggestions and tips as well.

Thanks in advance.

The title is harsh but i'm so sick of everyone assuming i wanna listen to what they have to say they yap and yap and don't let me say anything do people just assume im a good listener? my mom told me that once but it genuinely pisses me off when they won't even let me say my input

I've noticed this a bunch of times, when someone's insecure or low-status and you're nice to them, they often assume you're low-status too instead of your niceness uplifting them. It's far more effective in my experience to convey high-status and indifference towards them and then treat them slightly better than other people "above them" would. Kinda sad but imo but some people were almost born or irreversibly conditioned over time to be walked over.

hypothetically speaking if i had a relative that has left with no trace and has a criminal record how would i go about finding the record for free none of the premium 5 search per month crap please

Hey yall, thanks so much for reading this message!

I am a High schooler right now, and I'm interested in the idea of building really strong relationships. I'm hoping I could talk to yall about how to go about that? Are there good resources to read? Are there techniques to learn? Are there people to learn from?

While I'm not planning on being malicious with this, simply attempting to build a good network and connect with folks. I would appreciate learning any techniques that can be used maliciously due to the fact that I'm sure it will work fairly well, but I would like to let yall know that malicious manipulation is not the goal, just positive manipulation? Idk if that's a thing lol.

There's the idea that your net worth is your net work and I'm hoping to play that game as well as I can.

Thanks so much for reading this! I really appreciate any help yall can give me.

i've read the one thing that makes Michelle Obama sp charismatic is that she rephrases complex ideas more accessible so that everyone can understand it

how do you do this?

one way I know of is making comparisons

Is it just me? Or is this modern world soulless. Detached. Isolated. Nobody does anything anymore and nobody cares about much. People don't even answer calls or respond to messages these days. Devalued. You don't mean much to anymore. Outside of what benefit you have to offer. And most don't have much. Everybody's head is down, prisoner to their devices. Ignoring their loved ones. Ignoring their real life that is fleeting. Work work work. It's all that matters anymore. This seems ongoing for over a decade, but definitely escalated after 2020. What is up with everyone? Is everyone depressed? High? Divided? Burnt out? Are we really that busy? Is it a combination? Wtf is going on? Or is this just a consequence of having removed myself from the workforce matrix? (Working for myself.. among other matrixes i have removed myself from). I tend to think it's social media/smart phones? Mindless drones just barely functioning on a societal/social level. But try to free yourself. Get rid of your social media. Just to see everyone else imprisoned.. and now you're cut off. Even more depressing. I don't know the answer.. but if you're reading this.. snap out of it!

Sharing stories about common experiences, such as traveling to a new place or trying a new hobby, can help to create a connection and find common ground, when introducing yourself to a stranger

What other kind of stories about yourself would work for this, that'd be a common experience you both have?

"How To Make Friends and Influence People"

The main idea I took away from this book was to make the other person the priority - making them the star of the show!

The problem is... how do I go about doing that? How do I get outside my head? And start attuning myself to the other person?

Hey everyone,

I am studying FACS and would like to take the final test soon. Due to budgeting issues, I will only buy the test and not the full package that Paul Ekman’s site offers. However, I do have both the manual and the investigator’s guide files (found them online).

Does anyone know what the final test includes and how it works? For example, do you need to score intensity or just the AUs?

I recently took the Cimp’s FACS final test, where they gave me videos, and I needed to score the AUs alone in an Excel sheet. Will it be the same format?

I plan to take the test within the next month, so any timely advice would be fantastic. If you’ve taken the FACS final test, I’d love to hear about your experience and any challenges you faced.

Thanks!

In order to talk to people and socialize it's really useful to know about their interests as much as possible. But people are different and many people have much different interests. If I want to make a good impression I need be talktive yet respectful, and of course I need interesting topics to discuss. I was thinking about reading books because they give you knowledge, but I don't know from where to start.