Other than encouraging them, what other ways can you help someone's personal motivations / aspirations through words?

Context: My mom ran away and wouldn't tell us where she is. I'm afraid she's being blackmailed again by an abusive ex. We managed to convince her to open my younger brother's gmail account pretending he needed help with an email. Our goal was so we can use find my device by google to locate her but unfortunately, her location is off. Is there a way to have her turn it on without raising suspicion? Like asking her to download an app that would require her to turn on her location? or an app that can she can download to take pictures and send it to us but this app keeps the metadata / location that I can later extract. She's gullible but she would know if we ask her to turn on her location. Thanks in advance!

If it's not the appropriate subreddit, I would greatly appreciate it if you could guide me where to post it. Thanks!

I’ve tried adding as contact and syncing to FB, WhatsApp, Cashapp, tried forgetting pw and seeing if any identifier pops up, it’s an iPhone with an iCloud as forgot Apple ID showed me but only partial address. Every reverse lookup I’ve used only gives a name but the number on that persons report isn’t on the list of their numbers. When I input the name, the number isn’t associated at all with them. I know those aren’t accurate as most do. Long story short, they blocked their number to harass my child and left a vulgar voicemail. I obtained call reports records to unmask the number. Any other ideas welcome!

And how do you respond to it ; I mean i just graduated med school and my dad starts talking about his business which has no correlation whatsoever to my profession specially on my special day in front of my colleagues

when someone says something you can either paraphrase or reframe what they said back to them

what is the difference between these?

Not sure who all has read into this but it's incredible what they are pulling off. I'm trying to think what other times in history this has been implemented similar to this that didn't turn into mass genocide or regime implementation. ((I want to look positive because I believe we do need drastic change to improve the quality of all American lives.)-disregard comment(edit)) I'm worried that this selects the chosen individuals that play along with the plan and removes the ones that do not. The opposite of what we need right now. Any thoughts are welcome.

Wikipedia - project 2025 YouTube "top project 2025 architect talks conservative blueprint for T second term" -MSNBC

One of the first things you learn in dog training is the "Clicker technique" or "pavlovian conditioning" and I do know for a fact that pavlovian conditioning does work on humans, but what are some other techniques?

How would one go about social engineering a suspected pimp, to get access to any of their credentials to share with the authorities of what they're doing? I have a few ideas already but if anyone has suggestions would be much help. Something that would be directed towards this kind of person I.e blackmail and such.

I want to create a behavioural/psychological profile of someone, which can allow me to understand them better and what their actions mean. I don’t have a lot of knowledge on psychology, but I have a decent understanding of bpd which is what they suffer with and what has caused me to suffer with their confusing and hurtful actions.

Hello everyone, as the the title says, I'm looking for a post that was about why people talk too much.

I can't remember all the details but here's what I can remember, the op was explaining how people talk excessively about their jobs, promotion, relationships e.t.c basically Oversharing information about themselves.

The post is not too old I believe, I tried checking my history but couldn't find the post I hope it wasn't removed because there were lots of helpful insights in the post and the comments.

If anyone can find the post I would really appreciate it.

Thank you.

On this week's Layer 8 Podcast, Bluma Janowitz talks about how she learned and used social engineering skills in other non-IT fields:

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/layer-8-podcast/episodes/Episode-108-Bluma-Janowitz-Talks-How-She-Used-Social-Engineering-in-Other-Industries-e2l3424

Hi guys I asked a very close friend on advise about a design for an engagement ring. I was so excited at the time and made the assumption that she would keep this between her and I. She told a group of mutual friends the same day. When I picked her up the next day, she let me know in a joking way that she mentioned this to a group of friends. I was shocked at the time and in a joking way said I can’t believe you told other people about the ring. She shrugged it off and tried to move on. I the. Brought it up again like I was stuck on it, “I can’t believe you told those people about the ring”. She then appologised and we both moved on.

My problem here is that It’s been about three months and I can’t seem to move past this. I don’t want to hang out with this particular group of friends. I also feel my good friend has gone about this for clout and completely undermined our friendship, trust and respect for me. I wasn’t overly upset at the time but I think this has manifested over time.

When I spoke to my partner about this he said why did you tell Georgia that was a mistake she has a big mouth and he could see this quite clearly. I was sad because I thought I could trust my friend.

Should I bring it up again with my friend or just move on from it and focus on not making the same mistake again? I don’t have a lot of friends so don’t want to risk loosing more but at the same time don’t want this event to hold weight in my current friendship which it is.

My flat mates are european and I am Indian. This eastern european dude made racist jokes and I felt ashamed of myself. He did an Indian accent and I let him get to me even though he speaks broken english. I could have just laughed on the hard Indian accent because my accent is neutral but instead i sat there like and idiot with a smile on my face. I felt even worse when he did some joke about poor indians taking a shit outside their house because they are just poor. But he was implying that I am like them.....after having felt embarrased I want to take this situation under control. If you were me how would you respond if he made racist jokes again? I think more important in this case is to have right demanour. I think racist jokes about accent or body language should not be taken seriously so it was my fault to lose my composure after first joke. But second one was disrespectful because he is trying to call me uncivilized. These kind of jokes have different agenda....its not about having a laugh but to make me feel like I am lower in the hierarchy.....

I have a manager who plays little mind games. For example he was at a computer and I was at the desk next to him without a computer. We were running some figures when he tells me to call such and such department to speak to a person named Cal who had some information for us.

I call the such and such department and they're all confused like no Cal doesn't work here he works in this and that department. I look over on the computer screen and it clearly listed this and that department as Cals office.

Similar things have happened with this manager where he sets you up to fail. Like you'll ask for a departments internal line and he'll give you the wrong number.

How would you deal with it?

I am once again listening to Its Not All About Me by Robin Dreek. I already read Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People a while back and got what book was trying to teach.

What other good authors have books on elicitation besides those two? I feel like I need to hear the elicitation concepts different ways.

EDIT: right now I am thinking of going through all Robin Dreek and Jack Schafer’s books. I think that should help for time being.

I have joined a sports club (Rowing), and in the ~ 2 years I've been here I quickly progressed to be seen as an extremely competent rower due to some success in recent races.

The rowing world can be extremely competitive and serious and draws a certain competitive kind.

Within the community of rowing at my location, we're talking 1000s or sportsmen/sportswomen, there is this long time leader of the community who's generally respected and revered throughout

He's somewhat of a low level bully though, and he knows he has a strong standing in the community and uses it to its full extent

The reality though is that he is extremely competent and his social standing is nearly second to none.

I felt that at times he sees me as a threat, as I don't generally fold under his leadership and his praises like some do.

For example, he discovered that sometimes I prefer to go to races other than the ones he organises when they clash which I feel annoyed him. He point blank me once whether I did and I said yeah

Whether he feels I am a threat may be all in my head but the reality is this: In a social setting he's almost always watching me/addressing me/or otherwise occupied by me more than anyone else

Recently though, due to my rising profile we've been brushing shoulders and he made it a point to try and assert his social superiority whenever he has a chance

He started calling me a nickname, one I didn't choose. At first I kind of ignored it but once he persisted I pulled him aside one day and I straight up told him to stop in a bit of a stern way.

I could see that he was somewhat flustered I don't think anybody talks to him like that

Anyway, he kind of stopped but still sneakily calls me that name whenever he gets the chance, frankly sometimes in childish ways

How to deal with this situation? I don't want to completely butt heads with the guy, and I somewhat still want him on my side because he can carry enormous social proof

I also want him to stop using the name because i don't want to stick, and I don't want, for lack of a better word, to be his bitch

So I’m thinking we should collaborate on a list of SE elicitation flags like mom’s maiden name etc at varying difficulty levels and then we could use the sub to get help looking for those flags. We could help each other figure out how to elicit these flags from people on the street

We could also correct social skills with this stuff as a level 1. Then level 2 could be starting with Dreek stuff. Then we could move into Cialdini stuff.

I think it would turn this subreddit into an actual learning ground for SE.

What do you think?

So I think there should be a form of white hat SE forum where people list social engineering flags to get like “mother’s maiden name” or “name of first pet” at varying difficulty levels. Then people can try to solve these challenges and maybe record conversations of themselves trying it on someone to elicit information and people in the forum could give feedback.

The forum could focus on Hadnagy or another well known expert’s books such as Mitnick.

The forum could have an assigned reading page with Dreeke, Cialdini, Hadnagy, and Mitnick as varying levels of social engineering skills. The Cialdini one could be level 2 and so on.

The forum would only help with SE if the SE practice was. Done with pure elicitation. Like just general conversational elicitation. Then if people wanted to use it for pentesting they would have sone degree of SE skill built-in.

What do you think?

I used to be someone who got agitated very quickly.

I got tired of looking like that. So I figured out a social engineering tip to NEVER let anyone get to you. It’s pretty simple, some people already do this automatically, so this might be common sense for those some.

Before I go over the steps, it’s important to realize why people make backhanded comments, jabs and under the table insults.

It’s to get you emotional.
It’s to get a rise out of you.
It’s to get you to get flustered.

They do this to gain a sense of control.

Think of this way. Negative emotions and control are inverse.

The more the negative emotions you display, the less control you have.
The more control you have, the less negative emotions are displayed.

But there’s a bigger problem.

If someone is able to get you flustered in a public setting, the snowball starts rolling down the hill.

You’ll realize you are flustered.
You’ll recognize others see you flustered.
You’ll become even more anxious and in your head.

Then…

You’ll become even more flustered.
You’ll look even more flustered in front of others.
You’ll become even more anxious than you were before.

Rinse and repeat. Now you’ve lost control of the situation.

It becomes a nasty cycle.

The trick is to never show that what was said bothered you. We are only humans, no one is ever 100% confident. It’s more pragmatic to learn how to get around unnecessary comments.

In order to do this, you must know exactly how to respond.

Here are the exact steps:

1. Catch when someone makes a backhanded comment.

Example A: “He’s so much better than you at pickle ball.”
Example B: “You really think you are better looking than him?”
Example C: “Why’d you wear that?”

2. Figure out which emotion or state of mind arises because of that comment.

Example A: Defensiveness
Example B: Embarrassment
Example C: Insecurity

3. Determine the opposite emotion or state of mind.

Example A: Receptiveness
Example B: Indifference
Example C: Confidence

(Example B is not exactly opposite but still works)

4. Respond as if you were feeling that opposite emotion.

Example A: “He really is! His serve is amazing, I need to work on that.”
Example B: Nonchalantly “Ah yeah, he really is.”
Example C: “I think I look great!”

This works because you responded in the exact opposite way they expected you to. Most of the times, they won’t know what to say next.

They’ll be at a loss for words. You’ll still be in control.

If anyone has any other cool methods or how this could be improved would love to hear about it.

I have issues with self confidence. That lack of self confidence has led me to be insecure in most aspects of my life. I am hyperself critical. Can you please recommend some books to help me with this?

I would like to learn more about how people with brains like this manipulate others and the way they act etc. I watched a video today about something called 'Dog Whistling' https://youtu.be/phb3rslRbz4?si=nINHKwFqo-WVnosJ

And this piqued my curiosity about what else these sorts of people do. I want some reading suggestions to learn more, thanks

The response has to be a left turn, something unexpected. If done properly, they’ll be at a loss for words. I wish I learned this social engineering tip earlier, would have saved a lot of pain.

But anyways, the response has to be a left turn because they'll expect you to get:

• Silent
• Frazzled
• Emotional
• Visibly upset
• Passive aggressive

If you respond in that way, the belittling will never stop. They’ll continue, and each time it’ll only get worse.

Instead, give them the unexpected. There’s just one rule.

Remain visibly calm as possible. If you show any signs of getting emotional, they know they were able to get you. The following tips only work if you stay calm.

Here are the 4 ways that have worked for me:

1. Agree with them

Him: "You are kinda bad at remembering things, aren’t you?"
You: "Kinda? I’m SO bad, it’s actually a huge problem."

Those who belittle tend to target those who bite. But if you agree, you’ll come across as confident and secure.

Should be used when:
The comments are mild and subtle. This wouldn’t be a good response for actual insults.

2. Make them repeat what they said

“What did you say?”
“Could you repeat that?”
“I want you to say that again?”

They were expecting a reaction, instead they’ll have to repeat what they said. But they won’t. Because they know you can see through them. Through what they intended to do.

Should be used when:
The comments are in between belittling and insulting.

3. Ask Questions of Intent

“Did you say that to hurt me?”
“I wonder why you said that?”
“Feel better now?”

Making them explain their intent will shift the focus on to them. Here they will fumble over their words and trying to push their comment as a joke.

Use very sparingly. Should only be used for obvious and outrageous insults. Otherwise, your response will seem out of place and you might look aggressive.

4. Pause

Add in a pause before 2 and 3 to raise the tension. If you’ve seen Game of Thrones, this is executed wonderfully by Tywin Lannister.

At the end of the day what matters is knowing what to say and knowing WHEN to say it. The latter is harder than the former. But it does get easier with time and practice. I hope this was helpful and if anyone else has any cool tips on how they tackle belittling would love to hear about them.

There are some I will always gate keep but some that I no longer care enough about…

• hotel pools were easy for me as a 14 year old kid w my mates … I’d pretend to be on the phone to mum and wait till someone opens the door and say ok we are going in now mum see you in there… complimentary towels water and fruit if you’ve picked the right spot…

How you get to the door you may ask? Same deal In the lift pretending to be on the phone to your mum or whoever it is in your sitch : “yeh well we’ve just realised we don’t have our card *puts phone down, hey do U mind pressing the pool for us ? Thx !

Another one is if u know you want something small from kfc or McDonald’s, never order on the screen if it’s busy. Walk to the counter , say what’s the wait on a soft serve , they’ll most likely say oh I can make it for you now. (If ur not rude ab it)

I figured out when I should explain more and when I should zip it.

I call it the Poke Technique.

But before I go over the technique, why is overexplaining so bad?

Well it’s not just bad, it can destroy your entire impression.

Overexplaining can make it seem like you are:

→ Nervous
→ Not aware
→ A know it all
→ Condescending
→ Lacking confidence

Yeah, not good.

I remember feeling embarrassed and guilty for talking too much.

Even worse, I gave myself away. I looked weak.

But then I figured it out.

A simple technique that can be used in professional and non professional settings.

Let’s go over both.

Non Professional Settings

Him: “How is your day going?”
Don’t explain every part about your day. Instead poke.

Give an ambiguous answer. If they are interested they will ask a question.
You: “Oh, I went out with some friends.”

They'll response in 1 of 2 ways.

Response 1:
Him: “Oh that’s sounds like fun.”

Response 2:
Him: “Oh where did you guys go, who did you go with.”

In response 1, they didn’t poke back, so no need to explain further.
In response 2, they poked back, so go ahead and explain more.

Professional Settings

Don’t give an ambiguous answer here.

Explain a little more but right afterwards poke by asking:

• Did that make sense?
• Should I dive deeper?
• I’m happy to explain more.

If they want to know more, they’ll poke back by saying:
“Yes please, can you elaborate on the last part again?”

This technique is now automatic for me.

I no longer feel embarrassed, I feel more in control of my words.

Hello!

I'm a third year Computer Science student, I am currently writing my dissertation entitled "Social Engineering: Hacking the Human Condition". I'm looking for participants in a survey to help gather data. If you have ever been a victim of social engineering, please take 10 minutes to fill in my survey. Your time is greatly appreciated and will be incredibly valuable. The survey is pseudonymized and as such you are able to withdraw your data at any time. Data will be stored securely for the duration of the study, and then deleted upon publication within the university!

Many thanks for your time!

(Survey link: https://yorksj.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0cR8eRa7c0w6Oyi)

1. I tend to adopt the speaking style and slight accent of the person I'm talking to. I want to develop my own distinctive speaking style that people remember me for.
2. I struggle with telling stories effectively.
3. I find it challenging to be genuinely interested in getting to know someone.
4. I'm unable to show the same expressions on my face that I'm feeling inside. While my words, voice, and hand gestures convey one thing, my face often remains still. When I try to force facial expressions, it feels fake because I can't sustain them. This might be because I don't feel the emotions deeply.
5. I don't often feel joyful from within to the extent that I want to share it with others.
6. I frequently become fixated on what to say before starting a conversation.