A few years ago I became an Ahmadi for my partner. We had to make this move for many her loved ones/ extended family to be able to attend our wedding without conflict. (they were aware of other families where people had been publicly shamed and removed from the jamaat as there was no conversion).

For all those that are curious about the process, here’s what happened:

• I had to attend quite a few learning/ briefing sessions. Ofc I understood the importance of learning about the religion I’m converting to but my god these sessions were clearly unstructured and very repetitive (centred around what a Khalifa is & the importance of Chanda)
• My now wife was ofc not welcome to attend most of these sessions as this was an all male affair
• There was no clarity on when the end point would occur which caused my wife a lot of anxiety, and it felt very blackmaily (I had just taken out a mortgage and was getting ready for a wedding so no money to spare, however, my wife’s family gave a “donation”)
• I specifically remember one day after prayers, mosque leaders were walking around asking people for money to buy land overseas!!!
• The cherry on top was a fews after the whole affair, but partner asked in which session I read the Shahada and became a Muslim, and I said “what’s that?” It was not something that had ever been mentioned to me throughout the whole process

Overall, I would do this again for my partner and it truly hasn’t been anything but comedic since we signed the dotted line. I could feel the palpable comfort and embrace in her family after (despite everyone knowing how tokenistic it was). But as an outsider, this is was genuinely a crazy process

I had previously let them know that I did not have the time to 'serve' jamaat or participate in events, however despite me providing them with valid reasons (school, part time work etc), they still put me on the Amla team as assistant for chanda collection or something??

I have never not once attended a meeting and am honestly the only one in my family that doesn't get involved in jamaati stuff. I am so tired of aunties persistently calling me despite me never picking the phone up. I really hope they dont start calling my mum and forcing me to have a conversation with them like they used to when I was younger.

They implemented this new rule where now you have to message the Sadr personally and let her know your reasoning for not attending an event or meeting. I ignored this in the group chat I was added to, however had aunties chasing me down to message Sadr sahiba on why I was not showing up to the event. They also chase me down very often for not submitting this monthly survey thing (is this a thing outside my jamaat too? why do they need to know if I've read the quran or donated to charities other than chandaa???). Like, please just get the hint and leave me alone man.

I seriously dont know what to do with these Aunties. I feel like I should just leave it and stay ignoring them, because I know if i explicitly tell them to stop contacting me, word will spread. Also I know they are not going to respect my request as I have previously asked for them to not sign me up to help out or manage events etc, and doing so anyway.

I wonder if this has happened to others in jamaat? If so, how do you deal with it. I'm just drained by the thought of pulling upto Eid or Jalsa and getting bombarded with aunties asking me why I've been ignoring their calls.

I found out today that my brother has been paying Chanda directly to the MKA account through monthly online payments. When he checked his eligibility to vote in local Jamaat elections, he was told he owes $3,000+ of Chanda and he is not eligible to vote.

He sent the finance secretary all of his transaction history over the last several years and the secretary told him that he should not have been paying Chanda directly to the MKA account as they have switched platforms and he is still responsible for the full amount of Chanda owed to the local Jamaat.

If they switched platforms, where is his money going? The monthly payments he was making never bounced back, and local Chanda is just collected to go to the MKA account anyway. Why doesn’t the local Jamaat have his records of payment and why are they making him pay double what he’s already proved he paid directly online? I don’t know if it is a local scam to make him pay double Chanda or if it is a deeper fraud of him paying thousands of dollars to some untraceable account that may or may not be associated with the Jamaat. The lack of records makes no sense to me.

The great-grandson of Khalifa III, Mirza Zain Ahmad, is reportedly dating Aima Baig.

Mirza Zain Ahmad is the founder of Raastah, a well-established and now famous clothing brand in Pakistan. He is the grandson (daughter's son) of Mirza Anas Ahmad, eldest son of Khalifa III, making him great-grandson of Khalifa III, great-great grandson of Khalifa II and great-great-great grandson of The Promised Messiah MGA. Zain has also shared some family photos on Instagram and follows his first cousin Mirza Usman and other prominent family members. His paternal line is of Hazrat Mirza Sultan Ahmad, son the The Promised Messiah.

Zain and Aima Baig have reportedly been in a relationship for some time. They often post pictures of their international trips, parties, and hangouts together. I genuinely wish them well and happiness in the future.

While the couple appears charming and happy, this situation raises questions about the apparent double standards within the Jama'at. It seems that strict rules are often imposed on less prominent or economically disadvantaged members, while exceptions are made for influential or well-known individuals. These exceptions specifically pertain to rules that are otherwise permissible in Islam but are prohibited within the Jama'at, such as marrying outside of the Jama'at or having tattoos.

There is a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH):

"Nations before you were destroyed because when their elite committed injustices, they were not held accountable, but when the weak did the same, they were punished."

If the Jama'at is to uphold fairness and consistency, it would be expected to issue a formal statement and take appropriate action, regardless of the individual’s status or influence.

Another question arises regarding Al-Wasiyyat, where The Promised Messiah mentioned:

"میری نسبت اور میرے اہل و ایال کی نسبت خدا نے استثنا رکھا ہے"

("God has made an exception in my case and the case of my wife and family. All other men and women must comply with these conditions, and whoever objects will be a hypocrite.")

Does this exception apply to Mirza Zain Ahmad? Can he still be buried in Bahishti Maqbara, despite clearly engaging in a relationship outside of marriage?

Frankly, whether Zain identifies as an Ahmadi or not, or a Mirza or not, or even a member of the community or not, kudos to him for finding happiness for himself while being surrounded by a cult-like environment and successfully establishing a well-known brand against all odds. It's not easy to be a successful person in Pakistan if you are even remotely connected to the jama'at.

Edit 1: The correct relationship to The Promised Messiah as mentioned by a reddit user.

I’m still muslim but I don’t identify with any specific sect, because it leads to tribalism, division, and superiority complexes over other types of muslims.

However, I still have a strong relationship with my local jamaat chapter. I have lifelong jamaat friends that I still hang out with once a week or so, we hang out at the mosque/around town. and i’ll go to jummah every now and then (mostly because my mom will bribe me with fast food lol.) I get along very well with my local qaid and a lot of the elders like me.

I definitely have my issues with the jamaat structure, and the cult-like mentality some ahmadis have, especially when it comes to the heavy emphasis on paying chanda and the blatant worship of the khalifas. And of course some people do act like haraam police, although that exists in every muslim community.

But I feel like the majority of ex ahmadis on this sub only have negative experiences, and have 0 ties with the jamaat after leaving, nor do they ever plan on associating with it ever again.

I can’t be the only one in my position, right?

Honestly I feel as though I have too many count, from my upbringing to the man I had to marry (due to the limited choice in the jamaat - he was the least loser of the options).

I have to say I have found this page therapeutic. There's a lot of gaslighting in this organisation so I'm glad to read authentic experiences. I feel that this momentum is going to grow, I personally hundreds of disillusioned Ahmadis who are looking for connection.

I’m getting this year and I have some questions:

• why are we still segregating men and women including the bride and groom?? Meanwhile everyone’s happy to go to the office, to shopping malls, parks and see the opposite gender (often without scarves)
• why can’t music be played? when the DUFF was common in Arabia during the Holy Prophets time
• why are there so many rules around dancing which prohibit and coerce families to have to choose between their loved one facing punishment from the Jamaat?

How ridiculous is it that during a happy joyous occasion we have to stress about what some baba in the UK is going to frown about?

Since I've noticed many individuals here have reservations with the chanda system, I'd like to get to know peoples views on the Jama'ats allocations of funds. Specifically, whether you think there's embezzlement, lack of transparency, or a wrongful allocation of funds for malicious reasons (basically, do you have conspiracy theories regarding chanda)

The reason I ask this is that I've gotten a sense that people do have these reservations here. I've always felt that, while you can question the act of collecting chanda to the extent that the Jama'at does, they've been very transparent with how those funds are allocated. I also feel that since KMV has virtually no private life, it would be far too unreasonable to assume that he receives a significant monetary benefit from being the Caliph and head of the Jama'at (I say 'significant' as, yes, a negligible portion of funds is allocated towards the protocol of the Caliph, but far too little to be considered unreasonable)

Thoughts?

If the end goal we’re chasing as ex-ahmadis is to reach a situation where disbelieving is normalised and we don’t face any trouble from our family and Ahmadi friends for leaving the jamaat then I’d like to spread some hope and cheer. I’m from the state of kerala in India and I think we’ve reached that situation here. Just in the last few days there’s been raging discussions on extended family WhatsApp groups between devout uncles and disbelieving nephews. But all in good spirit with personal relationships still remaining loving and respectful.

No one is surprised if anyone openly says they don’t believe anymore especially youngsters. The children of all the ameers in the jamaats in my area are quite public about their disbelief. No one bats an eye at these things anymore. In fact there’s more surprise if someone in his/her twenties is a devout Ahmadi. And that’s made all the difference. Parents don’t lose face amongst fellow Ahmadis if their kids don’t believe anymore since it’s very common. Of course devout parents aren’t happy about it but the fact that it’s become normalised means they don’t stress about it beyond a point. It’s now only a personal disagreement between them and their kids and not a “what will people think” issue.

It’s now an openly discussed problem in the jamaath. There’s no more ambitions of world domination and doing tableeg to bring in more people. It’s all about keeping what remains of the flock together. Most meetings for khuddam are about atheism and responding to questions from critics of Islam. Coincidentally there’s also been a corresponding rise in the ex Muslim movement in the state ever since covid. This has helped matters as well, but the slide in the jamaat started a few years before the ex muslim movement started gathering steam.

So if this can happen in a corner of India where society in general is conservative then those of you living in the west could get here soon if it hasn’t happened already. I guess there might be some differences in the variation of desi culture we have deep down in south India and in Pakistani circles but it can’t be too different. Happy Sunday people!!!

r/Ahmadiyya_Islam is operated by a 'stay at home' Ahmadi that use chatgpt to reply to comments, don't bother wasting your time with it please.

u/NoCommentsForTrolls created 20 Sep 2023

u/TrollsAreBanned created 23 Sep 2023

u/AntiTrollVaccine created 23 Sep 2023

u/72SectsAnd1 created 23 Sep 2023

All these accounts are created by the same person, and are the only accounts that post on that subreddit. The only other account that posts on that subreddit is u/Ok_Argument_3790 who has an older account and moderates that subreddit with one of his other proxy accounts, so most likely it's his accounts and he has WAY too much time on his hands

Proper weirdo behaviour and you shouldnt entertain him as it probably feeds his mental disorder

Bored Saturdays really hit differently, and not in a good way. With nothing productive on my plate, I found myself falling down the rabbit hole of an online debate. This one started over that absurdly sexist joke KMV shared during some Waqf-e-Nau class. I couldn’t just scroll past—it was too ridiculous to ignore. So, I jumped in, thinking I’d make a point or two and then log off. But oh boy, was I mistaken.

And honestly, the sheer disingenuousness was so appalling that it made my head hurt. It was like trying to have a conversation with a well. Here is the complete thread for you guys to enjoy/ comment on
https://www.reddit.com/r/Ahmadiyya_islam/comments/1i3tda2/cheap_tactics_false_labels_trolls_exploit_huzoors/

Anyway, I think I’ve hit my limit for dealing with this nonsense today. If anyone else feels up to the task of jumping into the ring for a bit, consider this my tag-out moment. Seriously, someone take over—I need a break to recharge my patience (and maybe my faith in humanity).

4o

I consider myself as an ex-Ahmadi and somewhat of an ex-Muslim. Currently, there has been a lot of discussion regarding holding a jalsa in Bradford, Canada. I was reading posts and comments from people and was shocked to see so much hatred against the Jamat. Of course, non-Ahmadis are taking advantage of this, and I saw comments like 'Qadiani,' but I was shocked to see so much hate from certain Canadians. There was a lot of misinformation, such as calling the Jamat a terrorist organisation. All of this actually made me sad.

Yes, I do consider myself as an ex-Ahmadi and Muslim, but I don’t hate them, and no one can deny the fact that Ahmadis are oppressed and persecuted in Pakistan. This all triggered me so much—the feeling of not belonging anywhere. I disagree with many aspects of the Jamat and Islam, and don’t practice it at all but all of the hate still feels personal. I don’t belong in the Jamat, but at the same time, I don’t belong with these other groups either.

In every group/ country, I feel like a minority, and when people hate Muslims and Ahmadis, it all feels so personal. It brings back memories of how I had to hide my identity as a child and was afraid of people finding out that I was an Ahmadi. This is affecting me more than I thought, but as an immigrant, it makes me realize that, at the end of the day, anyone can scream at me, 'Go back to your country.' I read comments like “Deport these pakis”

The sad part is that even my country won’t accept me as an Ahmadi or ex-Muslim. So where do I really belong? With my atheist friends sometimes it’s too much, I can’t be with religious Ahmadis as I disagree with almost everything and with other sects it’s hard as I can’t tolerate hate against Ahmadis either. Belonging to the Jamat is kind of a weird Stockholm syndrome. You want to leave it but at the same time it’s kind of a part of your identity. And being an immigrant has sadly its own challenges. So where do I belong? Kind of nowhere and I guess that’s the reality one has to accept and deal with.

Reposting a video from two years ago in light of recent discussion on the sub about "Huzoor's" sensitivity towards domestic violence/patriarchy/marital abuse.

Is this a world leader or just a glorified Whatsapp uncle laughing at cheap wife jokes adored by other creepy uncles who view themselves - despite having societal, Jamaati, and financial power - as victims of their wives, while as KMV himself mentioned, women are the vast majority of domestic abuse victims? Why are these jokes so common among desi men like KMV? Why do they need to invent victimhood of men when they are literally the ones oppressing the women and children in their families?

I was surprised to see that no Ahmadi had responded to the post about Huzoor laughing at domestic violence. Then I found this:

The objection raised by the troll is based on a misrepresentation of the context and tone of Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V’s (aba) response. It is important to address this with facts and clarity.

2. Addressing the Humor:

Any lightheartedness or laughter from Huzoor (aba) is often a way to put the audience at ease or highlight the human nature of challenges like disagreements in relationships. This approach does not diminish the gravity of the topic but demonstrates empathy and relatability. This is consistent with the style of many great leaders and scholars who use a blend of seriousness and a lighter tone to address complex issues.

5. Unfair Criticism:

The objection raised ignores the substantive and solution-oriented nature of Huzoor’s (aba) response. The troll’s focus on a single moment of lightheartedness is an attempt to divert attention from the meaningful advice and Islamic principles shared by Huzoor (aba).

Conclusion:

Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (aba) addressed a sensitive issue with wisdom, practicality, and compassion. The troll’s criticism is unfounded and fails to consider the broader context and tone of the response.

(I've cut some because he yaps on for a bit, go to the link if you want to read all the BS)

Hey all!! In the past few years we’ve had a number of posts on here about/from ahmadis/exahmadis who have experienced sexual abuse, queerphobia, domestic violence (including violence related to leaving the jamaat). A few of us (queer /ex ahmadis) have been talking about the possibility of setting up a specific hotline/org with access to counselors who are either progressive ahmadis / survivors or are otherwise able and willing to offer help.

We’d like to start a discussion here on people’s experiences with the jamaat/community/families on this matter, to see how we can best support people experiencing this violence. What do ahmadis who suffer from domestic violence/sexual abuse/coercion at the hands of family members or community leaders do right now to seek help for their situation?

What could have helped in those situations That was not available? Are there any specific logistical or other issues one needs to be aware of? Not looking for this to turn into a debate forum, but instead want to hear people’s experiences so we can figure out how best to help.

Look forward to hearing everyones responses!

it would be really cool to meet other queer ex ahmadis and have a safe (online) space to hang out. safety is obviously a really important factor so we'd have to figure out some logistics - any suggestions would be great. let me know in the comments/dm me if you'd be interested ♥️♥️

Hi everyone. My intention for this post isnt to find a husband or anything since everytime someone makes a post like that in here everyone assumes its a troll post and fake…which i completely understand tho since some people in the jamaat are weird..but anyways

Im a exmuslim, but i was born ahmadi muslim. And my entire family is ahmadi Muslim. I hate wearing the hijab, and reading the quran, namaz, etc. Im currently 21 living in canada and my parents are pushing marriage onto me now🥲

Is there any chance i can find a exmuslim ahmadi whos also in a similar situation as me or am i cooked??😭😭 where can i find someone like that? I dont even have any high standards or anything like that anymore i just need him to be exmuslim and willing to pretend to be muslim in front of family. And who will also keep my secret safe (of being exmuslim).

I would feel TERRIBLE marrying a muslim guy and deceiving him like that. So thats why im trying to find an exmuslim ahmadi who has the same beliefs as me

(P.s: i have no hate against the jamaat btw! I still respect islam ofc, i just no longer believe in it💕)

Hi im not sure if this is the right place to do this but I’ll take my chance. I’m a gay Ahmadi man. This isn’t a post about acceptance in the Jamaat but maybe, just maybe someone out there has a similar situation and just maybe the right person might read this.

I’ve always known I was gay. I had my phase in life where I tried to pretend it wasn’t true. I now know and believe that Allah would want me to find love and that I wasn’t a mistake or a sin. I’m able to accept this part of myself without any hesitation now.

Now the reason why I’m posting this is because I want to connect with others just like me and just maybe, find a life partner (I really never thought I would be doing this tbh) I would have gone the normal route but I feel like though that has been an option I always felt like the value of unconditional love was missing in the gay community. Soo for anyone that has made it this far, here’s some things about me :)

• Im in my mid to late 20s
• I am 180cm tall and cute/handsome (at least I’ve been told)
• I take care of myself and workout a lot
• I work in finance and have been for a few years now (stable career in Europe)
• I believe in love and a lasting friendship
• I love traveling and have many hobbies

I really don’t know if this post will make it anywhere but if you happen to be interested and serious, send me a chat :) and those that are in similar positions or want to make a new friend I’m here for that too.

Has anyone else had very bad experiences with maintaining friendships within jamaat? Specifically female friendships?

I found that growing up most of my friendships within jamaat were full of jealousy and back biting, and a shit ton of snitching on eachother for ‘bad things’ we did.

I remember being 15 I was talking to a ‘friend’ about how I want to move out of my house and live alone for a bit just for the experiance (I didn’t mention anything ‘sinful’ like wanting to hook up, go clubbing and stuff like that, 15 year old me just wanted to wake up to silence and a pretty view of the city goddammit). A few days later I find out from my mum that the ‘friend’ told her whole family about this ?😭and apparently her mum was talking about how bad it is that I want to live alone, and how girls shouldn’t be talking of stuff like that etc etc.

I could name so many more examples of my business getting out to some Pakistani aunty I don’t even know properly, it’s actually sad.

I feel like this cults aspect of trying to maintain extreme discipline leaks onto the children too. With my female ‘friends’ snitching on me for the smallest things trying to gain approval from their parents for not having a free thinking attitude like mine.

It’s seriously messed up my perception of friendships. I remember the first time I made proper friends outside jamaat, I was so so surprised how openly I could talk to them about things without being scared of judgement.

I remember vividly watching a Q and A session with Huzoor and children, and the a girl asked if it’s okay if she’s friends with a Christian girl. Huzoor discouraged her and said something along the lines of only being friends with someone outside Ahmadiyyat if you have the intentions of introducing ahmadiyat to them. (So sorry I cannot find the link for this) He also made seem as though those from other backgrounds were not appropriate to hang out with.

Ironically, I have found so much more acceptance and respect hanging out with so called ‘sinners’ (homosexual people, transgender people, people from other religions etc) than I have ever within jamaat.

Hi, everyone. I am a 26(F) ex-Ahmadi (though still a registered member). I have been a Waqf-e-Nau since birth which has been a source of constant annoyance for me. I have not been answering calls from my local Waqf-e-Nau secretary for a while now, but she reached out to our Sadr who happens to be a family member because I did not take the Waqf-e-Nau exam. I totally forgot this was a thing. For those not familiar with it, they ask you a bunch of questions like “do you pray”, “do you read the Quran” and other weird questions. I absolutely hate that they feel entitled enough to ask us this. I feel that it’s invasive and none of their business. I’ve also found that sometimes they manipulate you into answering questions the way they want. For example, if you say you don’t really pray, they basically be like “no I’m sure you do” until you agree with them. I’m not sure why they do this, but I feel like the results of these interviews are going to KM5 and they want to make sure they look good. I can’t believe these bogus exams are accepted and normalized in this cult and nobody seems to think how strange it is.

I've been thinking of this for a while now. I was wondering how do you decide on a religion?

Do you look for absolute truth in a religion? Something with no contradictions? Something that is true no matter your feelings on the teachings of that religion? If so, how do you know something is the absolute truth, how are you able to tell truth from lies from such convoluted history?

If you're looking for a religion that "vibes" with you, why? Do you look for a religion that has about the same views as you? and if you're a part of a religion which has teachings that go against things you practice/believe in, why? Isn't that just hypocrisy? For eg: Islam and homosexuality, I'm sure many Ahmadi Muslims and non-Ahmadi Muslims believe that nothing is wrong with people that are homosexual but still continue believing in a religion that punishes people for homosexuality, why?

If you're looking for absolute truth in religion, and have chosen Ahmadiyya Islam as that absolute truth, why? Why Islam specifically from the thousands of religion? and why specifically Ahmadiyyat from the dozens of different sects in Islam?

Hello everyone! I know this topic has been asked about a few times but I can’t find some specific answers. My Sunni boyfriend and I are trying to move forward in our relationship and I have a few questions. For reference, I am ex-Ahmadi (though not officially resigned and hoping to not have to due to the public announcement). My boyfriend is a practicing Sunni Muslim, and as such, his family does not view Ahmadis as Muslims. With that background:

• I know many girls have been able to request permission from Huzur for a marriage like this. If I was granted permission, would my family be allowed to attend my wedding? Would a non-Ahmadi imam be able to perform the nikkah? My boyfriend and I would not want the nikkah performed by an Ahmadi.
• for those in a similar situation who had nikkah performed by a non-Ahmadi, was your father allowed to act as your wali? I’m assuming not, but I’m not sure how I would be able to tell my father he can’t without implying he is not Muslim.