Bf of 8 years and I just broke up a couple days ago. We haven’t spoken, not even about getting/giving our belongings back to each other. Anyways, In October he gifted me an Apple Watch and AirPods and took me on a local weekend getaway for my birthday. It was very special. He spent so much money on my birthday and I kind of feel guilty about it. I’m wondering if he regrets spending it on me now. Should I return those gifts? He also gave me an iPad a few years ago.

I am notoriously bad at finding the right time and place to have a discussion about “relationship stuff.”

How do you prefer your significant other handle this? Options are:

• call/text you during the day while you’re at work to tell you she wants to talk and when (or ask when would work for you)
• just bring it up the next time she sees you but give you the option to not have the convo then
• some other thing I haven’t thought of.

I 30f and my fiancee 29m got engaged back in October after dating almost 2 years. We have a child together but weren’t dating when I got pregnant and decided that we didn’t want to get together just because of a pregnancy. Eventually we developed feelings and decided to make it official. Just before thanksgiving I found messages in his phone from a OnlyFans girl from the beginning of November. So we had been engaged roughly 2 weeks and he cheated, and hid it. It was an explosive fight. I knew something was wrong but he wouldn’t communicate anything to me and finding that in his phone was the missing puzzle piece. It’s not so much the porn aspect that bothers me but the things he was saying to her. It ripped through me. I decided that we needed to take a huge step back and reevaluate. i want to work through this and forgive him but I’m so scared that I’ll happen again. I told him that if we stay together then he needs therapy, he agreed with no pushback and now goes weekly. There is progress on his end and I can acknowledge that, but I’m still terrified. Has anyone gone through this and made it out of the other side?

So, when eating dinner my (28M) girlfriend (26F) wanted to show me something on Reddit, and I saw her recently viewed subs and the top one was /scissoring. I know lots of girls watch lesbian porn because trad porn is very male centered and girl on girl is more female centered obviously. I don’t have a problem with getting off on lesbian porn and it doesn’t necessarily make you bi or gay, but the fact it is scissoring porn makes me feel some type of way. I looked at the subreddit and the type of content is definitely more aggressive and pretty hardcore lesbian stuff, imo. Take a look if you want lmao. It’s the type of content that makes me suspect she isn’t just trying to get off but actively fantasizes about fucking a girl. My gut is telling me if a girl is watching scissoring porn she is sexually attracted to women to some degree (the subreddit description is literally “the ultimate lesbian fantasy”).

I have suspected she is bi for a while, and I want her to feel comfortable coming out if she wants to. I also don’t want her to keep that desire hidden, if she wants to act on it I can respect that but if she is keeping it hidden it makes me feel like there is more potential for cheating down the line. We have been together for 6 years.

Have any of you experienced anything like this? How should I go about talking with her about this? Also, I’m pretty sure she knows I saw the subreddit on her phone, but I tried to play it off like I didn’t.

What kinds of things do men do when they’re genuinely interested in the woman they’re dating? In the early stages.

Should I leave my girlfriend over lingering insecurities about her past?

I’m a 19-year-old guy, and I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend (19) for over a year now. Early in our relationship (about four months in), she shed a few tears when a male friend of hers, with whom she had a past sexual relationship for about a year of their friendship, left to join the Navy. They were close friends before and after the sexual relationship. She told me it wasn’t about lingering feelings but rather about the situation—a friend going into a dangerous field. She has also cried over other friends going to the army.

She’s reassured me multiple times since then that it was situational, not about him, and that she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for him. She even cut him off early in our relationship out of respect for me. Despite her actions and reassurances, I can’t shake the feeling that her reaction meant more, and it’s been a lingering source of insecurity for me.

I’ve tried to work through it, but I keep wondering: Am I overthinking this, or is it a valid concern? Is it fair to consider breaking up over something that happened early in our relationship but still bothers me now? I really care about her, but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship if I can’t get past this.

I’d appreciate any advice or perspectives on whether this is something I can move past or if it’s a sign we’re not compatible.

Please don’t judge me as I already know everything is extremely immature. Ask me specific questions so l can go into details about what happened, as I won't be able to write everything because l've known this guy for 4 years and too much happened.

| [23F] have been terribly emotionally attached to a guy [23M] for 4 years now. I just can't let go of him. I don’t have enough dating/romantic experiences to think about someone else. We’ve shared amazing moments. I explored with him a side of me I didn’t think I had in me, and I’ve done with him things I have never done with a man before. I also said things to him I never said to any guy before.

But he’s shown me on too many occasions that he has no respect or consideration for me.

I blocked him twice as a result, the first time for a whole year, but he always comes back and make me feel like I overthink and that he would never make me feel this way. I'm thinking fine, maybe I do.

I try not to overthink and see him as a friend, not to hurt my feelings as I understood over the years that I won't be in a serious relationship with him. But he constantly does this thing where he wants to show me he doesn't care SO BAD like he is actually putting efforts into showing me that he doesn't respect me. I have so many examples of that, but I will give two recents ones as in the others we were too young so I put brushed these off;

• asking me when can I see you then posting a video in his private story (im sure i was the only one in there) where a celebrity says

"some girls you can't take out because you'll be embarrassed". He then asks me when can we go out but never follows through

• posting a meme about being with a beautiful girl and his friend is calling to disturb him AFTER I told him I won't see him. He also told me to stay active on snap (I stopped watching his stories on purpose)

-telling me he understands why I want to leave the UK; he assumed in the country I’m from people compliments way more, and when I told him I get more complimented in the UK he pretends to be surprised

-facetiming or calling me and acting so unbothered, hanging up quickly

I know he is childish. But personally if I don't want or care about someone I wouldn't go out my way to try to hurt them. He knows I love him because not only I told him, I also showed it to him on multiple occasions. I blocked him twice after feeling like it was one sided, but he doesn't seem to like that.

I'm not your type, fine. You keep me as a secret because you're embarrassed, fine. You don't have feelings for me, fine. You don't want a relationship, fine. You only want sex, fine. I genuinely don't care.

But why do you try to shame/hurt me? What have I done? I literally told him after I unblocked him the second time that I think he hates me and he apologised saying sorry for making you feel like you’re begging it, I love you.

No you don’t????

Me (29M) & my girlfriend (29F) are facing some issues. I have found out that she has a promiscuous past. Have found out that some of the ppl in her past are enemies of mine & idk how to cope with knowing that my girlfriend has been with some of my enemies. Feels like they always have a “1up” on me. I have caught her with a ex & it has caused a lot of damage to the relationship. Been stuck questioning myself on if I can accept her & her past to continue to love her in this relationship. Any suggestions? Really debating on just leaving because it has been stressful trying to accept this.

For context, my gf and I (30M/29F) have been together about a year and moved in together almost 2 months ago. She’s extremely close to her family, far more than anyone I have ever dated before. I’m happy that she’s close with them, but sometimes it’s a bit much and it’s making me feel as though I have to compete.

She said that they are really close from the beginning, they’re each other’s major support system from some childhood problems with her dad, which is completely understandable. She moved back in with her mom after her last relationship about 6 months after we started dating, so it’s just been them for the past almost year and a half.

When we first started dating, she would spend the weekend at my place and her and her mom would say I miss you and good morning/night and an occasional phone call which I thought was cute. We’d go over to her house for a night every other weekend or every two weekends.

Fast forward to now, we moved about 12 minutes away from her mom’s house and for the first month, she wouldn’t come home until the evening after work because she would be at her mom’s house for 3-5 hours after work. The first night in our new place, they were crying on the phone about missing each other and how it felt lonely. Seemed kind of excessive to me since we’re only a few miles away.

I travel for work and when I’m out of town, they’ve started saying things like “is he going on a trip so we have time to see you?” This rubs me the wrong way because I love her family and she says they love me, but getting excited that I’m leaving for a week or more doesn’t feel great. When she brought this up, she said it’s because “sometimes we want girls time.” That makes sense, but I don’t stop her from seeing them ever. Our schedules are busy with work, gym, school, general life, so we don’t see them every single day.

Even general interactions are drastically different depending on who she’s with. If we’re together, she’ll talk on the phone for over an hour with them, but when she’s with them, I’ll frequently be left on “read”. I get spending quality time with family, but I’m not a fan of that sort of flip flopping. She’s made it very clear that “family comes first” in life and we’ve had plenty of future marriage talks, but I’m not feeling like that includes me. It feels like I’m a secondary addition in a sense.

Today irritated me because I bought some new furniture with my bonus and it got delivered while I was out of town. She wanted to invite them over to see the new stuff which I haven’t even seen yet and it felt kinda crappy because she’s never suggested they come over until today while I’m gone to see furniture and whatnot I bought myself.

I currently pay all the rent and bills for a couple months while she’s finishing up school because I can afford it fine. When I bring up that I haven’t even seen the new stuff yet and that I don’t appreciate the timing of her suggesting this when I go out of town instead of waiting for a day or two when I’m back, that I paid for all the furniture, and currently pay all of the bills, she turns it back on me saying that I make her sound like a freeloader.

I’m feeling lost on how to feel about all this and it’s making my head spin.

TL;DR My gf’s closeness with her family is driving me nuts and making me feel like I’m in second place.

Hello, I posted this in another subreddit but I wanted to share my story here too because I would like to get a male perspective on this. I directly copied and pasted this because it was extremely hard to write this once and I don't want to go through the pain of typing it out again, I hope that's okay.

About 4 years ago I started dating a guy, who turned out to be a severe porn addict. He had folders of his own girl friends/female acquaintances in semi-revealing photos, he watched porn 10 times a day, never had sex with me, had trouble working/doing something without it, followed hundreds of OF girls on instagram and tiktok, you get the memo. I tried to be supportive and help him, but he kept lying and gaslighting me while I was already having a terrible time in my life (my dad passed away, me and my mom were not getting along). All of this lead to me having an extreme eating disorder and a psychotic episode that lasted nearly a year. We broke up after 3 years of dating.

Several months later, I (21f) meet a really nice guy (23f). After some talking, when it was obvious the both of us are attracted to one another, I told him about my story with my ex for him to better understand where I come from as a person. I told him that regardless of what happened to me, I understand that watching porn does not equate to being addicted, and that as long as it doesn't negatively affect my relationship, I don't mind it. Regardless of that, he promised not to watch it because "he understood I'm deeply traumatised by porn". Well, after several months of dating, it unfortunately turned out that I really am, in fact, deeply traumatised, I couldn't have sex without crying in the midst of it, I was generally scared of sex, I never initiated anything out of fear, we didn't have it very often (approximately 1-2 times a month). We both agreed that this is not the way to go, so I decided to obviously work on it, we've done a lot to build our intimaxy and trust and I've definitely come a long way, he has said it too. We're still not at a place where we consistently have sex on a weekly basis, but it's much better than before.

Well, fast forward to a week ago, I went on a wholesome rant about how much I love him, how I want to start a family together with him, how I want to finally live together. he confessed, out of pity, that he has been watching porn behind my back for the past 4 months. He said he did it because he wasn't satisfied with our sex life which frustrated him and he needed to cool off so he doesn't take out his frustration on me and how he can't imagine a relationship where he doesn't watch porn. I was heartbroken.

I don't know what to do now, I don't even know if our relationship will be the same and I can't stop thinking it was my fault for being too traumatised to have sex. I feel like I'll never be enough, no matter how much sex we have or how many nudes he has of me, it feels so so personal, feels like all my work went to someone who didn't appreciate it enough. I feel like worthless garbage.

I don't want to break up with him, I seriously want to work it out, but I don't know how to go about this, and I have so many questions, especially to the men out there.

Do you watch porn while in a relationship? Why is your partner not enough to sexually satisfy you? If men prefer nudes more than porn, why do they choose porn over them?

Please feel free to say anything you might think about this and don't feel limited to answer my questions only, I need it so much, I don't think I've felt so bad in such a long time. Thank you if you read until the end.

My ex broke up with me a month ago, and I didn't know why he hadn't broken up with me since he hadn't made it very clear to me. He said he was hurt by something I said but I was confused since I had apologized SO MUCH when it had happened and explained what I meant by my words since he had interpreted them differently but he didn't listen. He then went on to say that he needed to figure things out on his own but that just confused me more since I didn't see how he couldn't figure them out while with me.

So, I saw him a couple of days while on campus and he came to talk to me and said he still isn't ready to get into anything with me and is still trying to figure himself out, but would consider all that I said since I was very clear about wanting to get back together with him. He didn't give me a lot of hope in the way he said he would consider it. I don't get why guys can't be clear with their feeling because he said he wouldn't tell me that he doesn't want me anymore but he also could stop looking sad when saying he loved me. I just don't understand why it all happened the way it did. He has forgiven so many others and let so many others back into his life so I don't understand why he can't do the same for me if we were in love for three great years! We hardly fought and agreed on almost everything, we enjoy similar jobs so we understand the work and time that goes into them, and he always told people I was his wife when we would travel so he was always so happy to tell people that we were together!

Do guys actually think about what we said when asking for another chance?? How much do ya'll think about it? and I mean really think about it.

How long does it take for guys to feel better after being hurt by their girlfriends words?? I know it hurts but I've been hurt before too, and I forgave him, so why the need for a breakup and time to heal when I had done all that during the relationship!? I'm giving him the space he asked for but it is so hard to not think about anything else besides him and I hate not knowing whether or not he is actually thinking about me or considering giving us the chance I feel that we deserve.

Hello All,

I'm just curious to understand this cool unmarried uncle becoming a social media trend. Is this how really a lot of men feel? Or its just one of those socialmedia trends that fade away in no time. What is your opinion on this?

Thanks x

Disclaimer: Obviously you can date/marry within your ethnic group/culture AND find someone who matches your personal interests. This is specifically about choosing to marry/date within your ethnic group even when the people you're most attracted to are not in that group.

Asking out of personal experience/curiosity, as you can no doubt guess. Dated someone for 3 years and he refused to commit because he wants to marry someone with the same ethnic group, language, religion and political/cultural beliefs as him.

Despite being very clear about what he wants in a partner, though, he has seldom dated women who met these criteria, instead going for physical attraction, intellectual compatibility and general disposition. Partly because he was having fun before settling down, but also because his ethnic group is small, and he has some quirks/qualities that tend to clash with the women in his culture, so he always finds them wanting (either dull and parochial OR too liberal and therefore 'betraying' their culture. They can't win lol).

He and I clicked better than in either of our previous relationships, lived together quite happily for a bit and socialised with friends on both sides. Eventually, though, he decided it was time to go looking for the 'right' partner. I was upset, but the relationship had in any case fizzled out because of its limitations. We're still friends, so I know he hit 40 with no kids, no girlfriend, and no change of mind. It baffles me that someone would stick so stubbornly to their old-school ideals, even when leads to loneliness, but I'm more of a 'chosen family' type. I'm trying to understand the POV from the other side.

So, men of Reddit, if you married/dated within your ethnicity/culture but disregarded your personal preferences in doing so, why did you make that choice? And how did it work out for you?

PS: Yes, 3yrs without commitment is a long time, but there are worse things than time wasted in great company. Anyway, try not to get hung up on this point; I'm not.

Ok so to start this off I’ve been working (here) for almost two years she only just started at (here) she shows all the signs that I’ve found on the subject of wanting to date ( she follows me around in a nice but weird way acts different around-me compared to others and flirts with me M20 she is idk know how old but similar in age to me i think to top this off I’m actually into her but I’m actually bye mostly men so thats why its weird

Ok this is really complicated but I need ur help. Here let me shorten it for u. Liked this girl in primary school Transferred to another sch After 4 years we start to contact again We chatted a lot I confessed to her my love and she said we are too young and immature to do it One day I joked with her but I didn’t know she was insecure abt it and got angry I apologised again and again but from there onwards it didn’t feel the same talking to her since 2 days ago my fam and her fam bumped into each other, our mothers talked while we stared at each other

Idk if the girl will ever like me but I wanna try. I rly like her. Thanks

I am 28 F and a housekeeper. When meeting guys on dating apps I often get asked what I do for a living and when I mention that I'm a housekeeper. The conversation ends from there. I want to start dating but I feel like I'm embarrassed to mention my job title. I don't want to hide what i do just feel like men often care and even though it is not an ideal job but I get paid well and have health care benefits as well as a pension . What do you think?

I (27f) am dating my bf (29m). I’m not the most versed in politics and I don’t pretend that I know much of any of it. My bf is heavily involved in politics and military stuff (he was a marine for 4 years). He is also a Trump supporter. I am not a Trump supporter but, I’ve never been “anti” Trump if that makes sense. I’ve extremely open minded about most things. I do feel strongly when it comes to human rights / women rights / POC rights, etc. We’ve had a few conversations regarding politics and there are some things we agree on and some we disagree on but it’s never been an issue for me. But with everything coming out about Trumps detainment camps and the Laken Riley Act, our differences are starting to become a bit more extreme. I don’t want to get into the politics here, that’s not what this post is about. But I’m just curious how many people here have had successful relationships with such differing views and opinions. I’m not sure if these are ones that I can get past but beyond this, our relationship has been wonderful.

Heyo! Girly here (24 y/o).

Last year, I met a guy (33 y/o) while traveling abroad. We didn’t make any moves on each other, but after a wicked fun night out with my friends, we exchanged contact info. Over the past year, we’ve stayed in touch occasionally—just friendly check-ins, showing off what we were doing at work (I work in film production, he’s a plumber), and even FaceTiming a couple of times. There was never anything flirty, just casual conversations.

Recently, I went back to visit his country. When he saw I was there, he reached out and suggested we hang out. After spending a full day catching up, he walked me home from the bar and finally made a move—he kissed me. That night, he stayed at my villa, and we hooked up.

The next morning, he invited me to his friend’s cookout and pool party. He introduced me to everyone, had his arm around me, and was very comfortable showing that we were spending time together. He even invited my sister and her boyfriend to join us. Later that night, the four of us went out for drinks at a bar. We didn’t hook up that night, but the next morning, he rented a boat (on his card) to take my sister and me around the island where he lives. That night, he took us all out to dinner, paid for the meal, then brought us out for drinks and covered everything again. Afterward, we all sat on the beach, watched the stars, and listened to music—it was really cute.

That night, the four of us shared a bed, and he didn’t try to hook up with me. But the entire day, he had been very flirtatious—holding my hand, introducing me to more of his friends, and making me feel comfortable. At one point, we even got into a deep conversation about relationships, politics, sexuality, mental health—pretty much everything. It felt like he was consistently going out of his way for me.

A few days ago, I flew back home. He was texting me the entire time, making sure I got home safe, and even sent a sweet “Goodnight, xo” text. The next night, I replied with “Goodnight 😘,” but he read it and didn’t respond for a whole day. Later, I sent him a video of me naked saying, “My body is missing you,” and his only response was, “Look out 👀.” Since then, he’s been acting weird—barely responding—so I stopped texting after my double message. I still haven’t heard from him.

When I met his friends, they told me he never brings girls around them. During our deep conversation, he admitted that he hasn’t been in a relationship in over seven years and is scared of getting his heart broken again. I also told him that I just got out of a serious, toxic relationship of three years and wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I never put any pressure on him or us.

I’m just confused—after spending four very romantic days together, hooking up once (without him asking for more), why would he suddenly switch up on me? Should I just let it go?

I should also mention that he knows I’m applying for a holiday working visa for his country. He was excited about it and even helped me look for work around the island. (I had made this decision before we hooked up and told him about it beforehand.)

Guys, any insight? I feel so lost.

I've been going out on weekly dates with a girl for the past 2 months and it's been going super well. We've had many deep discussions and it's clear that we're both thinking that this will work in the long term. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend the next time I see her (this weekend) and am looking for advice on how I should do that, as well as asking her to be my valentine, and advice on doing the actual valentines day date.

I already got her a nice box of chocolates pretty early on so it'd be preferable to get her something different. Her favourite colour is pink but shoud I get pink flowers or red for this weekend, valentines day, or her birthday which is coming in april?

tldr; what gift should I get the person I've been dating when I ask her to be official and for valentines day?

I posted here about how I kept getting ghosted after first dates (years ago when I was dating, I just went through a breakup) because I disclosed my chronic pain/illness on the date. I didn’t trauma dump or get into too many vivid details, just gave them a heads up that this is something I live with. The way I was seeing it, I didn’t want to waste my time or their time if dating someone with health issues was a dealbreaker. Most men here agreed they would not consider dating a woman with chronic pain/illness. Which is fair, but I don’t want to waste their time or mine if that’s the case.

I was told that I’m disclosing too soon, and that I need to wait after I get to know them more and vice versa. How many dates should I wait to tell them? Two, three, four, etc? It just seems so exhausting and like a huge waste of my time (not to mention worsens the pain of rejection if I start to actually like someone) if they end up rejecting me anyways on the third or fourth date because they don’t want a woman who has chronic pain/illness. But on the other hand, am I scaring people off too soon by mentioning it on the first date?

Edit: someone asked me how it affects me - there are things I can’t do. I manage it as best as I can, I can still walk, hike, swim, but I cannot run, do strenuous activities, or lift weights. Sometimes I’m tired/in pain and need to take extra rest days, during which time I need to take it very easy.

I was madly in love with my ex. Always wanted the best for him and loved him with all my heart, unfortunately the relationship was getting too painful for me because of constant false promises of him being better and putting in more effort. I could see that he cared and loved me and wanted to try to be better but he would repeat the same patterns of behaviour that would hurt me over and over again despite me talking to him about it.

I tried leaving multiple times and explained why and how I felt and he understood and would be apologetic and would tell me how much I meant to him and helped him. He cared and did really love me and never wanted to hurt me, but didn’t know why he couldn’t be better, and he also did have a lot of issues to deal with personally that stopped him from being able to fully love me the way I wanted and the way he once did in the beginning. Even after this I stayed in contact as friends because I loved him and cared about him and didn’t want I lose him, even if it meant we had to be friends. He would always advocate to not lose contact and be friends too, he didn’t want to lose me either and would emphasize how much I helped him and how much he loved me.

Eventually I couldn’t keep putting myself through the pain of being in a constant cycle of pain with him, feeling unloved and unseen by his actions. We had a conversation about each others faults in the relationship at the end, and we both had a lot of regrets but knew we meant well and genuinely loved each other. Despite him being resistant against my idea of no contact, he understood and said he’d always love me regardless of what I decided. He convinced me to wait a little longer and I did, but eventually I broke down one day and had to end it. I felt terrible as it was on a random day for him, and leading up to this point we had made so many plans together and I was so happy but I knew the cycle would just restart and I had to end it before we got hurt again.

I sobbed and he just stared at me, no sense of care or comfort from him but just slight frustration to no emotion in the eyes. He left and texted me agreeing it was the best for us. A few days later my house had gotten broken into and both my roommates and I were robbed. I wanted to tell my ex the minute I found out he was my best friend and my first source for comfort but because of no contact I stopped myself and thought it would be selfish of me to reach out just because I wanted comfort. A few days later I got the footage from the ring camera from the landlord and I was completely and utterly broken when I saw it was my ex in a mask coming into the house only a few days after I had ended it with him officially. I’m still reeling from finding out it was him and feeling completely betrayed and honestly still in denial that someone who genuinely loved me was capable of doing that to me. I loved him with all my heart and stayed while I was hurting because I didn’t want to give up on him and he knew that, but still he punished me for leaving.

I didn’t react as to not alert him we knew it was him and a few weeks later he tried to reach out and check in on me saying he “heard about the break in” and wanted to see if I was alright.

Can someone just explain give me their best interpretation of why or how this is even possible? I choose to believe he did genuinely love me, it felt too real and too genuine. But him doing this let alone being capable of doing it goes against everything I believed about him as a person. Is it even possible someone can genuinely love and care about you but do this when you decide to leave for your own good?

All I want in a relationship is a man to show me he loves, and cares for me. When I say I’m fine I want him to know that I still need him and for him to hold me or be there by my side and that I’m just saying that. Someone to plan romantic dinners and get aways. Someone who will take me out dancing and cook dinner for me, a man to show me that I am appreciated , valued and love. That I changed his life for the better. My last relationship wasn’t like that at all, I was giving all the time and I was just wondering if men still showed love like this and valued women? If so where can I find a man like this?

Hi! Throwaway account. I (33F) and my bf (39M) have been together for almost 2 years. I usually don’t have any issues with communication with him, except when it comes to me bringing up my needs.

It’s like any time I express a need or something that hurts my feelings, he can never acknowledge my feelings or validate them first. He usually will start off with “I don’t see the big deal” or “It’s not a big deal to me” etc. It makes me feel so dismissed.

I am an overthinker, and I do see why sometimes it would not be a big deal. Maybe the way I’m communicating isn’t effective and I’m coming off as aggressive. I have tried changing my communication, etc but a lot of times he doubles down.

I do have PMDD which exacerbates some issues, but I really am trying. I am adding an example of me explaining that I feel dismissed when he says it’s ‘not a big deal’ (he had just told me that in response of me saying I didn’t like the way he said something to me in front of other people) and his response:

Me: I’m not saying this as an argument and I don’t want to start a fight. I’m not mad, but I get that you don’t feel some things are a big deal to you, but it feels dismissive to me when I’m trying to express myself and you tell me that you don’t see the big deal.

Him: If you’re getting upset over something that I don’t feel is worth getting upset over then that’s what I’m going to say I’m not going to sugarcoat it

Idk it’s come to the point that I don’t feel like I can’t express my feelings without being dismissed or made feel like I’m a child for feeling that way.

I do love him and I know he loves me, I just want to know how do I communicate my needs with him without him taking it as an attack? Are there any tricks I can implement?

In the past, before my last relationship (which just ended as it was unfortunately abusive), I was rejected from so many first dates after I discussed in more detail my chronic pain/fatigue problems. I mentioned it on my dating profile, but when I discussed it again during dates (for the sake of transparency), it seemed to be a huge turnoff and the grand majority of my dates seemed to lose interest quickly or ghosted me afterwards.

I had no problem getting lots of first dates and having men be interested in me/wanting to use me for my body, but when it came to a serious commitment, they were not interested. I have pretty bad chronic pain and fatigue, but I still try to keep as active as I can (I walk or hike 3-5 miles/day, swim whenever I have time, and generally take care of myself). I can also camp and go backpacking, as long as I’m not carrying too much weight and it’s 5-10 miles/day max (I did 15 miles once but that was pushing it). However, there are things I cannot do, like run, carry heavy loads, lift weights, or do any kind of impact sports. Before my health got worse in my early 20s, I was extremely physically active (exercising 3hrs/day and doing multiple extreme sports) and had an extremely toned body, and it breaks my heart that I can’t do this anymore.

My chronic fatigue also means I have to rest more than the typical person, and I can’t just keep going endlessly because it flares up my condition and if I push myself too hard then I can become bedridden for a few days. I have very low blood pressure, low appetite, joint instability/hyper-mobility, and fibromyalgia. Self-care is really important to me, so I take my diet, medication, and therapy seriously. Sometimes I struggle with depression due to my pain (I can get sad and frustrated) but I’ve come a long ways mentally and have found ways to cope so my mental health doesn’t harm others around me.

So - is this a dealbreaker for most men? All men? Dating is so discouraging with these health conditions. I am decently attractive and my body looks in good shape, but I feel like I’m still undesirable and worthless due to health issues that are out of my control and that sucks.

I 28F recently went on a 5-day trip with my boyfriend 27M to another city in our country. It was a lovely trip overall, although we had the occasional argument (as couples do). The trip was pretty packed, and we ended up driving a lot — about 5-6 hours every day for 3 days. Despite that, I really enjoyed the time we spent together and felt happy overall.

On the way back, we had a 3.5-hour layover in another city. We took this flight because it was cheaper, and since we had some extra time, we decided to meet up with his childhood best friend and his girlfriend. It was a nice catch-up, and we all get along pretty well.

However, during this layover, his sister (who lives in the city) found out we were there and called him, asking to meet up. He instantly agreed and told her to meet us at the airport for 30 minutes. Now, I don’t dislike his sister, but I was exhausted after the long trip and really just wanted to relax and enjoy a drink with his friend, not rush around to meet her too. I subtly mentioned that I didn’t think it made sense to meet up, but he didn’t really listen. I also told him I was tired and didn’t want to keep shuffling, but again, he ignored me. Then I directly told him that let’s not go, to which he said let’s sit in the cab and decide (which made no sense coz we left earlier).

When we got into the cab to meet his sister, I just broke down crying. I think it was a mix of exhaustion from the long trip and feeling unheard. I didn’t want to meet his sister and just wanted to enjoy a drink without any rush. His sister is 23, and I was just too tired to even try making conversation with her.

I told him I wanted to break up because I felt like he didn’t care about my feelings or listen when I said I was exhausted. He immediately started apologizing, then cancelled on his sister, but kept asking why I didn’t tell him sooner. He kept saying if I’d communicated more, he would’ve understood and wouldn’t have met her. I got frustrated because I’ve been telling him I’m tired and need downtime for a while now, but it feels like I always have to get upset or get angry or sad for him to actually listen.

So now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or if this is a valid reason to break up. I just feel like I shouldn’t have to keep getting this upset for him to understand my needs. What do you all think?

Edit- I think my post was already long that I have not added some layer- I’m a day away from my period(no matter what men say in this post- periods are and especially for me). Moreover, I think it triggered something inside me as last November were in Phuket and I was on first day of my period and I was exhausted, he made me walk a lot to find a good place to eat when I was already tired, we returned walking back to our hotel around 12:45 am and then he wanted to go to 7/11 to pick up something up, I told him I was exhausted and I couldn’t walk more and he said it’s just down the road and got after time to walk. Moreover, the next morning we had to wake up at 5:30am to leave for phi phi islands. I still went with him to 7/11 where he took 20-30 min to get stuff.

I was just exhausted!

My 29F long-distance ex-girlfriend, who lived about two hours away, cheated on me 29M . She started talking to another guy after he gave her his number on a piece of paper in public. They went on dates, kissed, and talked on the phone often. She told me she mostly did it for the attention because he was being romantic and buying her flowers paying for everything when they went out, I had always told her that I couldn’t afford everything she wanted or needed. I even told her she was welcome to leave the relationship if she didnt like that, but she chose to stay because she was selfish her own words. She became distant, even going so far as to say her mom was calling, when in reality, it was the other guy calling her in my apartment and at my family’s home during Christmas. I thought I was giving her the space she needed after a death in the family, but she was talking and hanging out with him. I found out that after she cut ties with him, he discovered my social media and blackmailed her. He went to her house and made her call me to break up with me while he was present. I’m not an angel I emotionally cheated on her early in our relationship, but we worked it out. This was both of our first serious relationships, and we’ve been together for six years, with a small break in between. I’m posting because I don’t know what to do. I want to work things out because she gave me a second chance before, but I’m unsure how to move forward.

Help

my fiancé 33F has stopped wanting to have sex with me 33M or even kiss me anymore, I see she’s on her phone a lot more than often which made me paranoid. I walked into bathroom this evening when she was having a bath and she quickly shut down what I believe to be conversation on her phone. I knew something wasn’t right, after lots of questioning she saod she was looking at lesbian porn to see of that turned her on, and had been talking to people online/asking question o how to no if a lesbian. I think there is alot more to it, she wouldn’t let me look at her phone and when I asked to see photos she quickly deleted them and said was just a selfi of her face. Which I don’t believe. We used to be so good together but since we had our daughter who is now 3 she been different, and now this. She also starting getting waxing lately, staying late at work and went for a walk to shop other night which was very out the blue. She’s agreed to start counselling but I really didn’t no what do? Please help

I don't really know what to do for my boyfriend on valentines day and we both work that day too. Im making him dinner and trying to think of other ideas but im not really good at being romantic. Any experiences shared would help a lot!

I (18f) am a freshman in college and I have never had a boyfriend. I've always been told that I'm pretty but I just didn't think guys liked me. Anyways me and this guy (18m) became friends in November of last year. I can't tell if he likes me as more than a friend. We cuddle all the time, he's called me pretty, I give him back massages, and he told one of our friends that he thought I was hot, he also changed his hairstyle over the weekend just because I suggested he tried a new one. Idk if he actually likes me or just likes the attention. He jokingly call everyone in our friend group hot all of the time, but he isn't as touchy with them. Does he like me or does he just trust me more as a friend?

Okay, long story short he once told me he only watches porn on Reddit so l investigated this out of curiosity no other reason I found a load of women with big butts and doggy style. The only concern I have is he won't do doggy style with me. Why is this? I asked him once and he said that he likes seeing my face but yet his entire Reddit porn stash is full of doggy style POV. What do you guys think? Be real