My ex/roommate until end of June, broke up w me in January. Found out she’s been seeing this other guy since at least November. Tried to amend things since January to no success. When confronted about it she admitted to it and says she’s not leaving. I don’t really have the funds to leave either but I think sleeping in my car will be better than sleeping at this apartment building. Heart is broken, and everything else on top of it isn’t helping. What do I do?

”it’s 1:18am april 4th. she made it official. a break. until 12pm april 4th i know she’s going to break up with me. i can just feel it. she wants to make it hurt. she said she wants to make me feel how i made her feel. she said babe and i love you after not saying for a few hours. she said she cares. i don’t know what to believe anymore. i’m not me anymore. i’m lost. i cant do it anymore i just can’t. i js wanna end my self. ill never find her again. she was different. she loved me. she never judged me. she supported me. she helped me though my hardest times. she even cried and helped me when i almost tried to end it. i don’t know. i want to kill my self. just blow my fucking brains out. so bad. so bad. i had the slightest bit of hope. i had the most minuscule amount of hope. i was desperate. i was pathetic. i begged her to stay. she doesn’t love me. she doesn’t care about me. she didn’t even want to support me when i said i hated myself. she doesn’t even want to compliment me. all those messages. just days earlier she said she would never leave me, she knew i was perfect for her, and that she will always try her hardest. what a fool i was. i hate myself. i can’t stand to look in the mirror. i let myself go. i’m fat ugly i have dark circles. i’m not myself. i dont know who i am. i knows it’s over. i know. it hurts so much. i cant deal with it. i won’t even touch a drug because i know i’ll get addicted. i have no friends. my family doesn’t like me. i quite literally have no one. i feel insane. what do i do. i hate myself and i hate how i feel. my ego, selfishness, and stubborn minded toxicity was the downfall of me. i did so much research and tried to improve so much recently. just to think it was for nothing. all those gifts i got her. she said yesterday she wanted to get me s nice gift and take us to dairy queen to munch and she would pay. she said she loved me and cared for me. she said she felt said when i was sad. what happened. what ever happened?”

I think one of the hardest things currently stuck in my head is not my ex that cheated on me but the girl I met after who I grew close with who I barely speak to today. That is a relationship I wish wouldn’t turned into something real the feelings and emotions I had and still do have for this girl make me a weaker man so I do what I do best I distance myself and let things die because deep down inside I like being miserable or something. I don’t know this one hurts a lot and drinking just isn’t covering up the amazing feelings I had towards her and how much of absolutely love to message her and just try to rekindle that flame

at the beginning of last year i ended things with someone i had a intimate, and turbulent relationship for like 6 years on and off.

i just found out that he was hooking up with his current girlfriend during our final months together. i even asked him when was the last time he had sex and he lied clearly. back then i broke things off at the beginning of the year & he jumped into a relationship with her right after.

i don’t really want to be with him again because he was so terrible to me but it does suck to see someone who rocked your self esteem a lot with someone else. but from the looks of her subtweets, i don’t think he’s changed.

i am here because it’s been a really tough and lonely last few years, i think about him a lot and how much i just miss intimacy. i haven’t really put myself back out there and as we get older it’s just hard to meet people.

but i felt such a immense loneliness these last few years, and especially fell back into depression. i been functioning but barely. since i found out on monday i haven’t had a real meal and just been eating what i can stomach.

i had a moment tonight because a lot my issues with the guys i have been with have sucked the joy out of me. i just feel like i have been on auto pilot already, so since I found out the cheating stuff I have struggled to be present. its been hard to genuinely find joy & motivation or set goals or even just take care of myself. i miss who i used to be.

As the title says, I believe that going through a breakup can be a massive opportunity for growth, especially if it’s one of your first. For context, my ex broke up with me around 4 months ago. It was my first real relationship.

At the beginning, I cried basically every night. I remember calling her the night she broke up with me, basically begging her to reconsider her decision, and that we can make it work, and that I can change. I remember believing that I had just lost the girl of my dreams, and as embarrassing as it sounds, I was still determined that I was going to marry this girl. The next day we met up and I gave her stuff back, and we said our goodbyes.

Looking back, I not only look at the mistakes I made as a partner and how I can be a better partner in the future, but I also look back at how attached I was to this person. I realise in hindsight that my life revolved around her. I never saw that each day, I was losing myself. I stopped doing the things I loved, and I’m not even kidding, every thought I had while we were together was about her. I was obsessed.

The break up changed me and my outlook on relationships. I’ve learnt to look within myself for my worth, and that having your worth determined by another person is extremely unhealthy. The break up also changed the way I portray myself to others, I’ve started to let go of what I think others think of me and started to be myself around everyone.

Ultimately, all that hurt I was feeling at the beginning triggered some massive growth within me that would have never happened if I didn’t experience this heartbreak.

I've described my story a few times. Me and a female coworker hook up, she was in a bad place mentally becauss she was losing her friend. I didn't console her because she wasn't having it with me being scared of an immature act, I finished without a condom and had gotten really worriesd, and we just broke down in the moment. Because I ran into her a week ago and 6 months after the fact as well as knowing each other for a good while now, we started talking. We had too many things pent up and it broke down into rants on both sides, and now I know the truth.

The same time she was talking to someone else. She knew him for like 3 days and she knew me for close to months as well as dating for two weeks. The moment things went south and she didn't tell me to come find her she went straight to him, and the entire time things were breaking down she was with him. She didn't do anything else after that week of things breaking down cause he went back to his country, but that's enough to show me the things I need. I wasn't flawless and I really didn't handle everything afterwards well, but the fact remains that she figured that guy was more important than me because he consoled her when ai couldn't after actually having built something with her.

It fucking sucks and I made a lot of mistakes, but it really doesn't feel right that I should take the blame when she couldn't prioritize something with me enough. Like she didn't even ask me to console her and I wouldn't need asking usually for something that basic as a decent human being, but come oooooon, you had two options and you chose the one where things weren't as messy.

I say this cause she always made me take the blame but the moment I confronted her about it albeit very very late, she admitted everything. And she doesn't even realize that it helps me instead of hurting me. Like my brain can't process that it could be so easy to be split between two people and treat like nothing the guy who you've spent the better part of a month day in day out seeing who he is and what he's made of for another guy you knew for 3 days because he's freaking out over a big mistake. She even admitted sure you couldn't take my word that I can't get pregnant because we didn't have that level of trust between us yet,but that's all I had to give you and you know I wouldn't even take a pill for precautionary reasons cause my word should be enough.

The reason it doesn't help is because I know what I saw after that. I knew how we coexisted at work and after work hanging out. That level of friendliness and closeness meant she still had feelings but she felt better keeping things in the dark and having a "friend" around to make her happy in a dark time while he was going mad about her shutting him out without him even knowing why she shut him out.

I feel like an idiot with how it all went down and especially because she knew it was my first time ever doing something with someone and the natural response should have been handle with care and understand he's gonna have some growing pains during the negative moments. Gah, that should have been enough to know that for the first time it was crappy. Really hate that my first love is so polluted and toxic when I really just wanted to love and be loved, take care of her when needed and have a good time. Hopefully round two makes everything feels like the first time again and I get a chance to really feel everything down to the last fiber like I should.it really hurts now knowing I'll never relive those first few hours and someone so unworthy stole them from me.

i’ve been friends with this guy (i’ll call him j) since kindergarten. we have gone through so much together and we’re each others’ first crush, relationship, friend, etc. he always will hold a special place in my heart.

when we were around 8/9, he moved away to philly, i stayed in the little town in pennsylvania about 1 1/2 hours away that we met in.

i went to call him one day and found out my moms deleted his dad’s number. (we were young and talked through our parents’ phones). come to find out later, our parents had slept together (both sets of our parents are separated, probably should mention that) and then my mom didn’t wanna have to deal with seeing an old hookup so she deleted his number and told me that J just didn’t wanna be friends with me anymore.

i was heartbroken because he was my best friend and crush, i couldn’t believe he just didn’t want to be my friend anymore. fast forward to when we were 11/12, i came across his snap and added him. we became friends once again and cleared up the confusion of what happened when he moved away and we found out that they slept together.

we felt disgusted and betrayed but it was in the past and it wasn’t our fault so what could we do? later on my birthday, i ended up making a joke about starting a family with him one day, and i made him uncomfortable so we stopped talking for a year. he became rude and distant. which he had every right to, but it still hurt

until a year later, he called me and we talked and became friends again. but the feelings also came back. other than that, everything was going good until i fell into a deep depression and ended all my friendships and stayed to myself.

3 months ago in january, i decided to text him and try to restart our friendship again because i had been in a better place, and we were doing good

he called me, wasted and we talked for about 30 minutes and caught up on life. he told me he’s in a happy relationship with a new girl, he moved back to philly again (he moved around a few times in between), he goes out with his friends basically every weekend to get trashed.

i texted him a week ago and he didn’t answer. the next day he called me to tell me that the last 2 times i contacted him, he was with his girlfriend. he then told me that his girlfriend doesn’t want us talking and doesn’t like me and our “history”.

i tried talking him out of it, but it was no use. he told me that he loves her so much and can’t bare to lose her. but he can lose me over and over again?!

j texted me a couple of days ago and said he’s sorry and that his girlfriend actually feels bad about making him end things, so we are friends, AGAIN.

i want to reach out to him and talk about how we need to end the cycle of leaving then coming right back, but i don’t know how to bring it up to him. i also think we need to talk about boundaries and i also want to start talking to him more. to him, im just a friend from way back when. it feels like we’re strangers, but i want to get to know him now not just know 5 year old him.

what should i do? how should i go about this?

People don't understand that I'm still grieving over my ex it's been seven months almost eight. I hardly eat, I don't get any sun. He broke up with me because he thought I deserved better. I tried moving on but all I think about is him, I see his name, I hear it all the time. I see his face in the reflection of my eyes. He didn't give me closure, plus he still wears the necklace I gave him. He needs to make up his mind about how he feels because I'm torturing myself over here

You win some you lose some, I'm my case I lost but everything was worth it right ? That's only something time will tell. The feeling of remorse and having a heavy heart is only something time will heal. I just want to wish you the best that life has to offer and know every second was worth it. No matter where I go or what I do part of my thoughts and how I'm feeling will always be with you.

hi everyone. i am going through a breakup with my first everything of 3 years. We’ve travelled the world together, done every intimate thing in the book together and i thought we’d end up marrying each other (as we talked about). we became on and off and he broke up with me almost a month ago (april 8) and he followed a bunch of girls on instagram a few weeks later and i’m a bit sad because i keep thinking maybe he’s getting with one of them (a particular very bootylicious woman). I know i shouldn’t keep checking the profile, but i feel so good one day and over it, but the next day (like right now) i’ll feel absolutely depressed and anxious and hopeless, but trying to find hope that he will come back. he was very cruel to me by the end of the relationship so part of me knows i deserve better but when it hurts, it truly does. How do i deal with the constant physical pain in my chest? how do i make it go away and stop feeling a sense of nostalgia when i feel over him? Do i need a therapist? i’ve even considered medication maybe because i just want it to stop. i’m currently spending time with family but soon i’ll be all alone again and i don’t want to feel like shit. i’m going to try to not check his profiles again, but even though i’ve distracted myself a lot (i work 2 jobs and i am part of my universities volunteer groups) my mind still gravitates to thinking of him and the situation, feeling hopeless/hopeful, or memories. I cant deal with this. I thought the man loved me. i’m not a bad girl at all.. i’m smart and relatively pretty and we got along like best friends and have had some of the most beautiful moments exploring things together.. the relationship ended up being equally as toxic tho (it’s a long story). how do i stop deterring the healing process. Because i feel like i’m at step one again tonight. Should i get therapy? i’m a bit old school so i’ve never experienced it, but people have told me it could help. is it normal to feel so depressed and hopeless and restless because i’m so anxious sometimes..

Anyway, please give me some tips as i have no one to bring this up to without feeling like i’m annoying them.

Has anyone ever ended things with someone because you thought that that was what you wanted, but it turned out to be a mistake?

I’m about a month and a half post break up and I’ve fully accepted it at this point and am trying my hardest to try and move on and heal from it. However I still just can’t comprehend how I’m supposed to lose someone I once loved so deeply and never talk to them again. It feels like that’s just wrong and it doesn’t make sense to me. Once I love you you’re there for good, how am I just meant to stop loving you. Even if it’s not in the way that I used to. How can two people that love eachother become strangers. The only explanation my brain can come up with is that it must have been fake, I know that’s wrong but that’s what it feels like. Just felt like a quick rant.

My self esteem is so low. I begged and pleaded for him to love me even after he was in a new relationship. He’s been in a relationship for 5 months and I just now stopped. To be fair he was receptive for the first 4 and kept telling me he still loved me, but for the last month he has gotten more serious with this new girl and I still couldn’t stop begging and making fake numbers and blocking and unblocking him. I have spammed him so many times. I’m so ashamed. He found love again and I’m still so stuck on him I feel so uncomfortable around other men. Please help.

My heart still seeks you wherever i roam My eyes wander in search of you but you are nowhere to be found I have so much love for you in my heart but you dont want it and I cannot give it to anyone else cause it belongs to you I don't think i can ever give this to anyone else ever it is yours I believe the universe will bring us together if we're meant to be i will forever be waiting for you in hopea that you'll eventually find your way to me I know you did everything you did to make me hate you so that it'd be easier but i cannot i cannot ever hate you I'd rather stay hurt than ever hate you

Me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago, it was such a casual breakup, first I pointed out something he did, he said it meant nothing and wasn’t a big deal, it broke me, I said I couldn’t be with him anymore because I felt that I was complaining to him, I now understand I was just expressing how he hurt me so we can grow. He didn’t care, a day later I asked if we’d get back together he said he wished that he treated me better and he didn’t want to lash out on me so he needed time for himself. I felt that it was just a nice way of saying no, I know I’m dumb, I lack self respect for myself but I’m slowly learning it. Maybe he does need time for himself? His birthday is a month away but I’m not going to reach out, maybe I just need someone to tell me I’m wasting my time thinking that he’d come back to me…

They say some people just come into your life for a little bit to be a lesson.

And I think that’s what you are.

But I don’t want you to be a lesson.

I wanted you to be the real deal.

It feels like it's been a lifetime. But in the grand scheme of things- it truly isn't that much.

It feels silly to note the monthly anniversaries- but i think it helps me to keep from reaching out. To focus on myself and heal during this time.

I've started a new job since then, I can slowly see myself gaining back the weight I lost because of the stress i was under with him- literally going to bed sick and anxious and waking up every day with this endless pit in my stomach.

I still miss him so much it hurts. But then I remember the way he made me feel. The things he accused me of. The lack of communication of it all. The truth of the matter is that he's right as rain without me- it's time for me to focus on myself.

Which isn't fair when you think about it. Why do I have to do all of the leg work- again? I have to be the one to cry, heal, do therapy, journal,do mindfulness exercises to get to a place where I don't feel disgusted with myself while he's off happy as a clam without an ounce of guilt?

But that shouldn't be my concern. Only myself and my journey is what I need to focus on.

None of my friends think I should speak to him ever again. And I don't think I could anyways. As much as i'd like to- i don't think i'll ever get a genuine apology from him. I don't think he even feels like he's done anything wrong.

Or maybe he does. I'm not sure. But even guilt doesn't take away the way he left things.

The truth is- I spent five years being the one to initiate everything and it's left me feeling fundamentally unwanted and unnecessary. The way he left things has left me feeling fundamentally unwanted and unnecessary. And if i were to be the one to reach out as I always would- it would prove those feelings right.

This time is for making myself feel wanted. Being somebody I'm proud of and watching myself change for the better and healing.

My therapist said I've been making progress these past few months and should be proud of myself. But I guess it's hard to see how far you've come when you're the one putting one foot in front of the other every day.

I still miss him. I still feel lonely and cry at night and ask myself if it was all my fault despite the fact that everybody in my life has said it wasn't. I just can't help it quite yet. I know eventually it'll be better. The only way out is through after all.

But for tonight- I will eat some celebratory cheesecake and debate using my tax return for a ridiculously frivolous purchase or save it like a proper adult.

i’ve been friends with this guy (i’ll call him j) since kindergarten. we have gone through so much together and we’re each others’ first crush, relationship, friend, etc. he always will hold a special place in my heart.

when we were around 8/9, he moved away to philly, i stayed in the little town in pennsylvania about 1 1/2 hours away that we met in.

i went to call him one day and found out my moms deleted his dad’s number. (we were young and talked through our parents’ phones). come to find out later, our parents had slept together (both sets of our parents are separated, probably should mention that) and then my mom didn’t wanna have to deal with seeing an old hookup so she deleted his number and told me that J just didn’t wanna be friends with me anymore.

i was heartbroken because he was my best friend and crush, i couldn’t believe he just didn’t want to be my friend anymore. fast forward to when we were 11/12, i came across his snap and added him. we became friends once again and cleared up the confusion of what happened when he moved away and we found out that they slept together.

we felt disgusted and betrayed but it was in the past and it wasn’t our fault so what could we do? later on my birthday, i ended up making a joke about starting a family with him one day, and i made him uncomfortable so we stopped talking for a year. he became rude and distant. which he had every right to, but it still hurt

until a year later, he called me and we talked and became friends again. but the feelings also came back. other than that, everything was going good until i fell into a deep depression and ended all my friendships and stayed to myself.

3 months ago in january, i decided to text him and try to restart our friendship again because i had been in a better place, and we were doing good

he called me, wasted and we talked for about 30 minutes and caught up on life. he told me he’s in a happy relationship with a new girl, he moved back to philly again (he moved around a few times in between), he goes out with his friends basically every weekend to get trashed.

i texted him a week ago and he didn’t answer. the next day he called me to tell me that the last 2 times i contacted him, he was with his girlfriend. he then told me that his girlfriend doesn’t want us talking and doesn’t like me and our “history”.

i tried talking him out of it, but it was no use. he told me that he loves her so much and can’t bare to lose her. but he can lose me over and over again?!

j texted me a couple of days ago and said he’s sorry and that his girlfriend actually feels bad about making him end things, so we are friends, AGAIN.

i want to reach out to him and talk about how we need to end the cycle of leaving then coming right back, but i don’t know how to bring it up to him. i also think we need to talk about boundaries and i also want to start talking to him more. to him, im just a friend from way back when. it feels like we’re strangers, but i want to get to know him now not just know 5 year old him.

what should i do? how should i go about this?

Dear Piano Girl,
I loved you more than the shine of the stars in the sky. You brought the Sun to my face when you gave me a few of your words. Much like the stars, you never led me on, nor gave me any expectations, but the light I followed and the warmth I got, emboldened me to keep falling in your orbit. I knew you have had a very hard life without family and loves but in that you gained independence and even made death shy of taking your life.
At times I enjoyed your intimacy but it never lasted because you said your heart was empty and you were not made to love but then when after years of agony, you finally had some peace and learned to smile, it turned out you were smiling for someone else, at what I thought was a star collapsed to black hole, was star that just shined for some else.

I was not enough.
You never gave me hope, nor gave me expectations nor led me own, that I did my own. But I know I was not enough. I will never see any star shine again.

So yesterday, I dreamt about having sex TWICE. First one was with my ex and it was close to a nightmare, lol. When I went back to sleep, I dreamt about the same thing again but this time, with a different man whom I didn't know in real life but seemed really familiar. I was so confused upon waking up lmao. I didn't have any sexual fantasies before going to sleep but does anyone genuinely know what this means? Tyia!

i can’t get over my first love. i have been trying for almost a year since we broke up. we are still in contact and see each other sometimes which does not help at all. i have never loved another human the way i loved this man. i wouldn’t say im in love with him anymore because he truly has become unloveable. when we were together he used to be the most sweet and caring person ive ever met. he was the first person i truly opened my heart to and everything felt so right. he is still the only person i could see a future with. being with him felt like the light at the end of the tunnel for me because my whole life i’ve felt unloved. he was so thoughtful and compassionate and showed me a beautiful love in ways my parents have never done. unfortunately, he is just not that person anymore. i’m still stuck on the idea of how we used to be no matter how hard i try to let it go. i’m stuck in the same place where we built all our memories. i introduced him to everything i loved before him and now he’s in my mind 24/7. he’s so immature now and it pushed me to the point where i can see him for who he’s truly become.. but i still can’t let go. i can’t find anyone else that i can connect with the way i did with him. and i feel like i only keep him around because im scared to be alone. i’m surrounded by people who have guys who care about them and it sucks being constantly reminded of that.

i think i'm done with relationships. the idea of getting to know someone new after you makes me feel sick. it's been almost 5 months since you ended things and you moved on so quickly after 2.5 years. we were gonna get married this year. and now i've lost faith in the idea of relationships. i can't anymore. i've no interest in finding someone else. the idea of being alone brings me more peace than the idea of spending my life with somebody else. i said it to myself almost 3 years ago the next one would be my last, and i think my brain has finally accepted that. i'm done being the nice guy and i'm done loving someone. my heart is exhausted. i'm exhausted. you were my last one, i made that promise to myself and to you years ago, and it's a promise i intend to keep now. i love you stink, to the moon and back, forever and always, like i promised.

:( I thought I was better I thought I was over it But getting over you is really an up and down journey

Because I thought I moved on from you But I just remembered The first time we met The curiosity in your eyes The feeling that I thought you could be the one The sparks that we both had

And then I remembered The last time we saw each other And when I looked into your eyes I saw as the guy who used to be so forward and excited to see me Left. I saw as the feelings in your eyes for me disappeared. I saw as the spark you had for me, was gone, along with the effort.

I wish I could make you put in the effort for me that I want to put for you.

I’m not sure what happened, how did you lose feelings so fast? Did you have any in the beginning? Was none of that meaningful to you?

Seriously

To preface,I have ADHD and autism. I found out I was a dismissive avoidant after my ex hinted at dumping me (Aug ‘23). I have been working on my attachment issues since january’24.

He never flat out broke up,he only hinted it.

We met online in the end of May ‘22. This was a LDR We got along really great. We had amazing chemistry. He was my best friend. I was never taught boundaries. He wanted me to work on my boundaries.(around spring of ‘23). I was taking a class and working full time and I agreed. Which was stupid on my part.

We were supposed to meet up in October’23. We were both excited to meet each other. I got my passport,booked a hotel. We talked about what restaurants we could go to.

Because he was my boyfriend, I wanted to tell him EVERYTHING……but he also mentioned he wanted honesty (I can do that just fine) but if I chat with guys (I’m paraphrasing)…. he doesn’t want to know about it…..I brought this up because I thought he wanted me to be honest with him,he said he felt confused about it as well. We were supposed to talk it.

He thought I was hiding him because I never told my acquaintances about him…..in reality,I wasn’t sure how to talk to people at the time.

After working on my attachment,telling people I have a boyfriend feels obvious.

Is it hard to believe others when they tell you anything,including “I have a disability,I have trouble understanding social cues,personal inter communication. I wasn’t taught boundaries and I know I need to work on them?”?

I suggested therapy in august’23. He asked if it was couples therapy,would we talk about his previous addiction (he was an alcoholic before we met. He had a few slip ups but always was able put himself together). I said “yes”. Initially,he agreed to it but then backed out the night before the appointment.

The final straw for him was when I told him I spaced at telling my ex (from 2019,he dumped me to “fuck other women”)that I was taken.

He blew up.

Wanted to do an extended breather. He was all over the place. I was devastated. I asked him for how long. He wasn’t sure. He said a lot. From what I could tell,we agreed to talk in january’24 if either of us wanted to reach out.

When he does drink,he doesn’t text me. He doesn’t respond to my texts.

I texted him in january.

No response. I emailed him. Mailed him a letter. Went to What’s App.

He responded to my email saying he was moving on.

He hasn’t responded to any of my emails or letters after that.

I don’t understand why he would say that I was his best friend and that he loves me and then just ends up leaving.

We have all had our heart breaks and I had one not too long ago. But I had some good advice from a 80 year old gentleman that made me get over it quicker. If you were dumped and broken up with just move on. It wasn't meant to be and they didn't want you it's as simple as that. There are 10 million other men / women out there for you to have fun with and explore so don't worry about the one that left you. So when I got home I completely blocked all social media from my ex. Deleted all photos yes I mean all. And never looked back. After about 3 weeks I got over it very rapidly. You have to treat heartbreak like a drug addiction. You take it one day at a time and you make a promise to yourself not to look at any pictures or anything that reminds you of your ex that would break your cycle and want you fending for their attention. It gets better folks only if you want it to get better.