Hey, There is a small chance you ever see this but I will take the odds There is so much I want to tell you, so much I want to explain, but I just can’t now I have never felt more alone in my life I wish I could just hear your voice one more time I know you have my number so I hope that one day you text it, I don’t care how long in the future it is, I will wait for you I told you I’ll always be here for you and I meant this I hope you check my page and see this message because you know it’s for you I hope you remember me once in a while because I know I’ll never forget you ❤️ I’m glad I met you

Hey everyone. I need to know if I’m being delusional and just thinking my situation is somehow different than all of the others. I am truly GOING THROUGH IT. In my heart I truly feel like God has told me this is my person. I don’t know if he’s teaching me patience and putting him back in the oven until he’s ready for me or if he’s telling me to let go. I am my bfs first gf and everything of that sort. He is 24. He is very used to being alone. When we met for him it was love at first sight. It took me a little to come around but then we fell so in love with each other. It truly felt like nothing I have EVER experienced. I could truly be myself , we played like kids, we loved each other loudly, no fighting, very proud to be with eachother. We basically lived together for 4 months during the end of his college. His father owns a company he is supposed to take over but that is not his passion. He is very scared of disappointing them and feels like he has no other skills anyways. He is very insecure about that & his looks and abilities. He told me countless times he never understood why I was with him. After a lot of contemplation and almost getting him a different job, he ultimately decided to go work for his dad immediately making us go long distance. Not too long distance but an hour and a half when you drive all day for work sucks for him. Basically his whole life went into upheaval, the job he doesn’t like, his grandmother passing away, us going long distance, and this being his first relationship in general. He has no idea how to deal with all of this and feels like he is so overwhelmed with emotions he can’t process. He is very depressed but won’t admit it. He started to get really in his head beginning of January that we were on different paths and that he doesn’t want to subject me to a miserable life in a small town forever. He says he feels so numb to everything and everything that he once was 100% about he no longer is. He says he needs to figure his stuff out in order to be a better partner for me, but that he feels like he doesn’t even know how to properly reciprocate love. I promise I am not tooting my own horn but i KNOW i am a good girlfriend and i gave him absolutely everything in the world. I know he loves me and I know he didn’t want to break up but I feel like he felt it was the only way. Do you think we would get back together??

Tonight, I’ll be brief: I miss my precious queen.

I feel so empty—my heart is shattered into a million pieces. I’d give anything to have her back.

It’s just… not fair. Life was so cruel, putting her in my path, letting me fall so hard for her, only to take her away.

I genuinely thought my luck had finally changed… things finally looked bright while I had her. but I was wrong. I don’t know what the lesson is, and at this point, I don’t care anymore.

He used to do a lot of things that made me fall in love with him in the beginning but now he does those things less and less. I just feel like I annoy him and that he doesn’t like me anymore even tho he denies it all. When he’s mad at me he threatens to not talk to me for hours or days even. When I talk to him about my feelings or something he does that hurts my feelings, he used to take accountability and acknowledge my feelings but he doesn’t do that anymore. Maybe it’s just me, but I guess it won’t work in the end.

Thoughts on this wild situation?

(24m, 25f) Was seeing this girl for just over a month. Kind of got loved bombed. She was all over me, texted back instantly. Would hangout all the time. She made me take her on 5 dates before getting sexual, and we had sex a bunch.

Her ex cheated on her, and her biggest red flag she stated from day 1 is that they’re still friends and communicate. We were talking about moving towards a relationship a few weeks in. She was very hot, a lawyer but kinda wild (like nuts a little).

Last time I saw her, she stayed night at my house, we have sex, I finished in her and she ended up getting a UTI from not peeing after.

She takes a bunch of space (stops responding so soon next day, slowly and slowly just creates space, tells me she’s in hospital for UTI, and eventually we’re just not texting at all, abt a week into this she said she’s done)

I freaked a little due to the space cuz I was confused (I chased her, would spam text, and just ask for answers/to see her and did this for like 2 weeks)

She’ll still answer my calls if I do so, but we don’t talk, make plans or text. What do we think happened here realistically?? I haven’t gotten any type of answer. (She seems to be an avoidant so I’ve been in no contact since Saturday)

She broke up today. I saw it coming for the last few days.

I have a very important exam coming in a few months. If I didn't ace it then my career would be over. I will have no option but to end my life after that. The exam is the only thing that's keeping me alive. I don't know how to focus on my studies. I need to study 12 to 14 hours a day it is the toughest college entrance exam.

I’ve been through a lot of heartbreaks 1 too many. I’ve taken the time to heal properly and as soon as I’m focusing on me not worrying about a man… boom here comes another one. In the beginning they come all nice and everything but as time goes by they change. My last relationship was with my first love. Things went downhill after we had lil disagreements he would get so mad to the point that he would call me all types of names and it messed with me mentally. Even when I explain to him that if his emotions are high and he doesn’t think he will use the right choice of words the right thing to do is to step away because if he say something hurtful he can’t take it back but he still do it anyways. There’s so much that happen… there was a time I smell down there and I didn’t know, he didn’t tell me that I smell until we got into a disagreement, he used it to hurt me then gaslight me to make it seem like he was just being honest but he had so many other times to tell me why use that to hurt me when we had a disagreement?. When there was an issue I like to talk about it and get it over with, if I did something wrong in a moment he wouldn’t tell me so I didn’t know and when we had a disagreement about something else that’s when he will bring another issue up, saying but u did this not knowing he had a issue. He had this issue goings hourssss without contacting me and I spoke to him about it, we both spoke about how we felt on the matter and the following day again he got up and did the same thing. Us reaching out to each other should be a two way street. The following day I didn’t reach out first because I was tired of always being the one reaching out especially when I spoke to him about it the day before. He blocked me from Snapchat and that was the end of the relationship. Even though I hated how he went about certain things and how he hurted me so much in the relationship, we communicated cordially after about the way he blocked me instead of having a mature conversation. He told me he wasn’t sorry for what he did and after the break up I found out he was moving to China. So he had already knew he was moving to China and I guess he didn’t have the guts to tell me so he waited for the right opportunity to see himself out. For the way he hurted me mentally I hope he get back that 10x.

I’m at a loss. I’m still very much in love with her. We just got a puppy that I love dearly. A lot of issues that have caused this are my fault. I feel like anytime I express my feelings it’s met with a cold brick wall. She said after the first time that I guilted her back into it. I guess I don’t have much to say. Just in a paralyzing amount of pain.

Me and my bf have been long distance dating for almost 2 years. We live a hour apart and was suppose to be living together in July. I have always tried stuffing down the fact that I never get any of his time I know he is a family man caring for his siblings even though they are old enough, have kids and a bf who doesn't work. All I wanted was atleast a whole day with him. But his sister bf would call and say your sister needs to go pick up her, go to work or I need to go here and ect. He would leave and I barley got 3 hours with him so he goes back home.. and then he got sick on the 20th of last month and still is and been going to work sick even though i tell him not to. I been on standby by my phone if he respond I respond right away to make sure he is okay and taking medicine but he doesn't respond right back and leaves me worried and anxious because of what's going on with the news right now...

We broke up 2 weeks ago and wow does it feel like it’s been way longer. Backstory, we dated for 4 years we had our ups and downs but nothing too crazy. Towards the end I could tell she was caring less and just started giving up not only on us but other things in her life. she was going through alot and our relationship wasn’t doing the best. but i kept trying and trying and one day she told me she can’t do it anymore and just disappeared no phone call just a text. i gave her a few days i reached out a few times asking why and that i still want us and she just blocked me on every thing you could think of because snapchat. I’ve been so depressed and confused on why and how is this so easy to just block me out of ur life so quickly. So today i made the mistake of reaching out again on snapchat asking if this is really it and immediately im blocked. i feel so Sad and confused she just left… i don’t understand what i could’ve done for her to just block me out of her life.

I’ve been seeing this guy on and off for 6 years. He is the definition of a narcissist and a pathological liar. We recently rekindled our flame and I’ve been disappointed yet again. I can’t ask him any questions bc he gets so mad and just says “I talk to much” he’s always rude to me and calls me names but I’ve loved him from day 1. He really did it for me tonight & I think I’m really done but what am I so scared of? WHY AM I AFRAID FOR HIM TO BE OUT OF MY LIFE?!?

I want to be someone’s entire world. I miss talking to him. I can’t believe I’m spending v day alone. He was perfect, everything I’ve always wanted in a person. But he stopped loving me.

I (26m) recently had my heart broken at the very beginning of the year. Jan 1. To be exact. Turns out she didn’t want to bring in the new year with me lol. But I fell hard for this girl, and enjoyed every waking moment being with her. She asked to take a break so she can work on herself, but still wants me in her life and I’m taking it as a break up. This has been a month ago but it still feels like yesterday.

I’m having such a hard time coping with everything that my mind jumps from one thing to another. Lots of mixed emotions, thoughts. We weren’t even together for very long but it felt like we were. We just clicked so well, had such a good connection. I already had things troubling me to begin with then she added that onto me as well. I want to hate her for it but I can’t.

I want to blame her for every feeling I’m feeling but I can’t and don’t want too. Apart of me feels like all of this was just a lie to get rid of me and to somehow make it less hurtful. It doesn’t help I already have trust issues and being with a girl who has a lot of guy friends didn’t help.

What are some of the ways or things I could do to get over this girl?

Drink water. Take a deep breath. Start February right. You don't need to spend it alone. Don't text them, text us.Turn your heartbreak into heartheal, let's build new friendships instead.

If you need a distraction from the pain, or just want to chat with someone who understands, we've got you. You can shitpost in general chat, lend someone a hand in support chat, blow off steam in vent chat. Listen to music or game with the homies in voice chats. I'd like to share where I've been doing that. A group of people like you, a cozy supportive community. <3

Click here to check it out: a sfw, adults only supportive community<3 https://www.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/190gz0v/

this question is for those people whoe went back to their partners after they've hooked up with someone. how did you cope? does it get better?

TLDR: My husband says we'd be better with different people, but says he still loves me and doesn't want a divorce. (We are married less than a year, both in our early twenties, I'm not going to give specific ages in case people close to us see this and figure out who we are.)

We've been together for three years and we had a beautiful spring wedding last year. I knew he was the one for me. I was, and still am, head over heels for him, and he also was for me. Everyone on my side loves him, and everyone on his side loves me. We're different but we mesh well. We just...fit. Maybe I'm in denial, I don't know.

It all started this January. He started staying out late multiple nights out of the week and spending less and less time with me. I had already been struggling with prenatal depression and anxiety and this just made it worse. We started fighting... almost every day over the same issues. I didn't feel loved and I was blaming myself. The more I tried to make him happy, the harder he seemed to push me away...and the worse my mental health got.

We just had our baby shower. He barely showed any interest in even looking at me at all the entire day leading up to it. The baby shower was beautiful, his parents absolutely spoiled us with some of the most expensive things on our registry...everyone spoiled us, really. We both put on a happy face in front of everyone, I was wishing that his was genuine...

Then, on the car ride home from the baby shower, he went back to being closed off again. I finally got him to open up... and he said, "We're just not meant to be together. It's all my fault, I've known for a long time, since we started dating. I was selfish and just wanted to be married and didn't think about what you needed. You needed someone patient, and kind...and someone better than me. Who do I need, I don't know...I don't think I deserve anyone. I still love you, I don't want a divorce... we're going to stay together forever, for our baby."

I tried to put a positive spin on it. I tried to tell him that people change during a relationship to compliment each other better. I tried to tell him that we could still have a beautiful, happy marriage and grow old together happily...but I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. He shut down the conversation and didn't want to hear what I had to say.

We unpacked the car and he went on another one of his drives to think, leaving me alone to organize our baby's nursery by myself and then fall asleep by myself. He got home from his drive a little after midnight. I woke up just before he got back and unloaded all of my baggage on him. I said to him, "This last week, I fell asleep completely alone four times, and of the three days that you were home, you hid away in your office for two of them. When my mom gave me that bouquet of flowers, all I could think of was how I gave up begging you to surprise me with flowers. I try so hard to make you happy, but I feel like the more I try, the more you want nothing to do with me. I kept this to myself because it scared me and I didn't want to scare you...but the other day when I was on the freeway home, I was thinking about just hitting the guard rail." He just sat there, didn't say anything, and just held me while I violently sobbed in his arms.

I haven't been able to stop crying since. I'm having thoughts that I don't want to be having and all I can do is dread what this means for the postpartum depression that I will definitely struggle with. All I wanted was a happy life with this man, the man of my dreams, and a few beautiful children, but now I feel like that dream is completely falling apart, and it's happening faster than I ever expected. I keep thinking over our entire relationship and try to see what he is saying, but I just can't. I don't know if I'll ever see it. I also don't know if I can recover from this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him without hearing those words.

My heart is broken but I don't want to tell you about it no more. I know that you've never wanted to me, I was just fooling myself whole time.I want to scream to your face but it would make things worse. Hope you can find what you are looking for.

been single my whole life, and every guy i liked...never liked me back, and five of them made my life miserable. Obv they didn't intend to, but this is what it feels like when they crush your expectations.

every guyy i liked would show signs of interest, but then proceeds to go for other girls. it started in high school, mind you i was that typical nerd with less confidence, had a hard time making friends, and..well .you know the deal. my first "heartbreak" was falling for the popular kid, and it was a terrible experience to have my feelings too obvious that the popular girls would use it against me

then in uni it didn't stop. i meet a guy, im infatuated, i end up being obsessed, he likes someone else, i have months of anxiety and stress, i get over it, and the cycle repeats itself

what happens every time: my life just becomes revolved around him. unless he's around, anytging i do is fucking meaningless. before falling for him, im a confident happy girl. When i fall for him, all hell breaks loose: im always stressed, I'm always tired, always anxious, and would make a fool out of myself.

its been happening way too much, and in 25 and im giving up. i feel like ill never find love, that ill never be anyones first choice. im doing better than my high school self: a fulfilling career, many hobbies, friends, etc. but having an unrequited crush has been making my life miserable: i cant focus on my work anymore, and im constantly anxious

help

I have had this overwhelming desire to share this with another person for a long time. I haven’t, because I am ashamed that I feel this way. I know it sounds ungrateful and I hate it. I do love and support other people even when i look at some and am reminded of what i feel my kids and I have lost. I feel happiness for other people When they have what I don’t, I really do- but the sadness I feel inside me when I’m reminded of how good it could have been is overwhelming at times.

I am 51. I was married for 17 years and my x husband and I had 3 beautiful children together. After we divorced, my husband who had a history of problem drinking got worse and was never able to again get his addictions under control. The divorce wasn’t all his fault. Of course, we both made many mistakes but the life he chose after we ended eventually robbed him of anything meaningful. He played no part in the lives of our kids. He abandoned them and all of his responsibilities to them in every way. He became quite abusive and if given the opportunity, he continues to be abusive to them today. A conversation isn’t possible either. He is violent, unless he’s sober, but he is never sober. I haven’t had any contact with him for many years. The children have tried as adults but weren’t able to get through to him in any way. It s really a very sad situation. My husband has no life at all. He sacrificed not only his family and home, but his health, job, reputation, faith and peace for his addiction. It’s truly been the biggest heartbreak of my life. Seeing my children grow up without a father has hurt me worse than anything else that I could have ever imagined. For a very long time I was immeasurably angry for the things their father done. More than I care to admit, I resented doing so many things alone. He had rather watch me struggle to provide for them than he cared to have a relationship with them. He took great pleasure in knowing life was hard for me, even if it meant, life was hard for his kids. I remember when he was a good father. I believe he loved his kids but his anger for me eventually overtook him. He is now 52. He has no job, no home, no money, multiple arrests and convictions and in poor health. He is also still miserable and angry and unable to have any relationship with his children. He’s in the last stages of alcoholism and unless a miracle takes place- he will leave this world without anyone there to love him. His rage makes it impossible to be near him. It took me a long time to reach the place where I no longer feel any anger towards him. I feel immense regret and sadness and honestly I feel love for re man he used to be. The way this affects me today, where I sometimes feel shame is this and it’s what I need to be off my chest. When I see a man, young like I remember my xhusband and he’s being a great dad, a part of me cries in agony. I’d never let on, but if I’m being honest, watching a daddy watching his kid play ball, or show up at a school function smiling and doing the daddy thing, despair wells up in me and I have to fight to hold back tears some days. I ache for that in my life and in my kids lives- I literally ache for it in my bones. But the thing is, it’s too late for us now. I raised my children alone. They are now 25, 22 and 18. Two have graduated from college and my youngest is a HS senior. They are wonderful kids. I couldn’t be more proud and blessed and this is why. Feel ashamed for being so sad about what we don’t have. I know in my heart I have much to be grateful for….. so I don’t say anything. I am happy there are so many good men in the world. They are so very important to their children. But I would be lying if I said that when I see a man like this in action, my heart doesn’t break all over again for not having the gift of a man like that in my life. I never remarried and now that I’m 51, and for the first time in my life i am beginning to fear that I may never again experience life with a strong man whom loves me and my children. They are grown and of course they don’t need a father - but I still grieve for their loss of a father every single day. I am a happy woman. I have a successful career, my own home, friends, good health and I’m attractive, but there is a sadness inside of me that I can’t seem to squash. A longing that sometimes brings me to tears at night but if you asked me why I’m crying, I probably couldn’t even say. Thank you for allowing me to share. And also. Excuse any typos but if I don’t share immediately I’ll delete this and never utter it again.

She lied to me two years ago and I can’t forget it. I was a virgin and never been with any girl. She knew this was important and never told me about her past until we were together and she became my first and it was too late. This was two years ago and every now and then I see relationship videos on social media and it sparks my pain and hurt and realization that I was lied to and deserve better. I brought it up 3 times, once when it happened and twice recently. She always apologizes and tells me everything about her past. I guess the reason was she was raped when she was 17 and hated herself and just wanted to hurt herself or whatever and went on a spiral over the years not having value for herself. It hurts and I know I wouldn’t have been with her if I knew except it’s too late and I love her, see a future with her and we’ve already made so many memories.

She is a different person I know that but I can’t shake the resentment, at best I only forget it for a while and I don’t know what to do because I don’t want heart break. I knew about her being abused and accepted her for it but she took away what was important to me and it’s too late.

She reverted to my religion in secret, was learning my language and she is a different person. I see she loves me and I know it too, I just feel betrayed and I don’t know what to do. I have an empty pit in my stomach sometimes and somedays it hurts more than others. I need help.

TL;DR - GF lied early on before we got into a relationship about having a past despite knowing it was important to me. 2 years later and I can’t shake the resentment and pain, at best I forget it for a short while.

Yes, I begged. I begged, I pleaded, I changed. Because I’m not the kind of person who just gives up on someone who has seen so much of me, you know? Not everyone gets that kind of access to my life, to my soul. He touched every part of me—saw me in ways no one else ever had, felt me from the inside out. And I couldn’t just let him walk away with all of that and become… a stranger. It felt unbearable, the thought of someone who once knew me so intimately suddenly being nothing more than a person I used to know.

Because I have respect for who I am and I knew exactly what would happen if I did what he did and if I gave up too. We wouldn’t just “move on.” We would become strangers carrying each other’s secrets. And that felt so wrong. It still feels wrong, in a way. Time has softened the edges, sure, but back then? The weight of it crushed me. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t understand how someone who was so different from me, yet so much like me, could just walk away. He knew me, maybe even more than my own parents ever did. He had seen the parts of me no one else had.

So who would I be if I just accepted that? That after everything, after all we had shared, he suddenly decided to give up? And I was supposed to do the same? Just let it all fade and eventually search for that kind of connection in someone else? It felt impossible. It felt wrong.

But you know what felt even worse? The one-sidedness. The moment I realized there was no getting through to him, that he had given up long before I ever even saw it. And that was when I knew. Really knew. That I had to stop trying. That I had to let go, just like he did.

It took me longer to accept it than it took him. But the day it finally hit me, I felt it deep in my bones. I sent that last message, knowing it would be the last time I ever reached out. I told myself that was it, and this time, I meant it. And I never bothered him again. Even when I received a text from him a couple times after, I never allowed my self to show him that version of me again.

We met on a dating app in my city and he lives in states (his family lives here and said he was actively working on moving here. I've always been clear about wanting something serious and 4 months in I told him I was looking for a committed relationship and he said that's what he'd want too but he needs sometime to think through logistics cuz timeline for closing the gap is uncertain but he values what we have deeply. Since then he increased his investment, messaged me more, called, asked me to save my vacation time so I can come visit, then he asked multiple times to visit and I agreed after he confirmed he wasn't seeing others. My visit went great - we spent a week together and he was so affectionate and loving both during visit and after. A few weeks later my gf was visiting his city saw his newly created profile on a dating app..I was so confused and hurt because everything seemed to be going great so called him, he initially said he wasn't active on the apps, then after I presented evidence he became so cold and distant and said ge wasn't aware we had a label on it and that he doesn't think he can make the move work anytime soon, he doesn't know where his career will take him and that he can't do long distance relationship, so he ended it. He didn't even want to continue as is (and before I called and confronted him we literally had "missing you" texts going). I feel so hurt and crying all the time, I envisioned marrying this man only for it to end like this.

this is going to be a long read. i apologize, but i need to get this off my chest. i have no one to talk to about it.

i was with this man for 3 years. i knew deep down that this relationship was not going to be a good one for me. we met while his ex was still living with him.

i should've known better and ran the other way instead of getting involved with him. he would tell me that he wasn't sure about me, but then he started to love bomb me and i believed him like an idiot

at first we would see each other once a week and he would tell me that his ex was already with someone else and that they were just friends and that she was going to move out eventually. he wanted me to move in as soon as she left but he had to make sure she was going to be ok before i was to move in.

i ended up moving in when she left and it was the dumbest thing I've ever done. i'm guessing he was angry that she left because he started being cruel to me. he would criticize everything i would do ( my cooking, the way i cleaned his house.) he would even ask me if i thought his ex still liked him. he also told me that he was looking for the perfect woman. i felt so stupid and hurt so i ended up moving out and i even changed my phone number but he came looking for me again.

i gave him another chance, i didn't move back in with him so we would see each other on the weekends. during the week he would hardly text me and no phone calls ever. he would always make some excuse as to why he wouldn't text me (he would fall asleep or he was busy with his daughter)

the love bombing continued he would tell me he loved me, i was the only one, he wanted me, he was mine, he would tell me how beautiful i was, he would stare at me like if i was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

but his actions never matched all the nice things he would say. i was so confused and i felt so lonely being with him. i didn't even feel comfortable enough to tell him anything i was going through. i would tell him how lonely i felt and he would say that it was my fault (i needed him to be there for me emotionally and he never was)

i found some porn on his phone (he had lied to me when i asked if he watched porn, he said no) i confronted him about it and he said that he was only trying to see what would get him off and he said he knew i would look through his phone so he left all of that on purpose so i could find it. i felt so humiliated and he made me feel like i wasn't enough

the sex was awkward because he would lose his hard on right away and he would act like if nothing was wrong. i would ask if it was something i did or didnt do. i never made fun of him for not being able to get hard, i would always try to turn him on.

his excuse was that he ate the wrong foods or he felt sick. that thats why he couldn't get it up. he would get angry at me when i asked for sex telling me that thats all i cared about, he would even tell me to go find someone else to f**k me. i only desired him, but it felt like he didnt even want me. so humiliating.

his 2 exes before me cheated on him (the one that was still living with him when we first met cheated multiple times even left him twice to be in other relationships and he still took her back after it didnt work out for her)

i never cheated on him, i was loyal to him the whole time, i respected him.

he would always put me last, i was never a priority to him.

the love bombing eventually stopped and he just started being cruel. he wished death upon me, accused me of spitting in his daughters food (which i never did, that is atrocious,) called me a crybaby when i would being up my feelings, making comments that hurt me then he would say that he was joking and that i was too sensitive.

towards the end of the "relationship" i started noticing that he was talking to me even less (texting me only 2 or 3 times in a day then after a certain time i wouldnt hear from him anymore, ) the sex was even worse than before, no more compliments from him, he wouldnt ask me how i was, completely shutting me down when i asked why he was being this way, complete disregard for me.

i was so tired of feeling anxious, lonely, heartbroken, let down. so, i decided to end the relationship 2 weeks ago.

my last text to him was me asking him why he was talking to me less than before and his response was that he fell asleep. that was always his excuse.

i decided to not reply to that and that was it, just like that he didnt text me anymore at all. he hasnt reached out at all.

i guess its what he wanted , for me to leave him alone

i just dont understand why he couldnt tell me to my face that he didnt want me anymore. why put me thru all that confusion and hurt.

(P.S. idk if this is important or not but he's 10 years older than me.)

Yep that’s right folks it’s the classic empath/narcissist relationship.

I have so much hurt and anger built up in me.

I’m using it to pursue my career but I can’t help feeling like an absolute fool

After an absolutely devastating breakup last year from a 6.5 long year relationship. I started dating again earlier this year. I found a great guy that I dated for 3 months.

Last night he broke it off. While this breakup is less earth shattering than the long term one, it’s bringing back those feelings of despair and loneliness. Feelings of being like I am not good enough.

He broke it off because he wanted kids and I didn’t. It’s a very valid reason to end things if the goals don’t align but as a woman in her mid twenties…I wish I could actually have relationship that wasn’t destroyed by the fact that I don’t want to be a mother.

I’m just so over heartbreak and grief.

Last year I met a guy off a dating app. I’ve talked to a fair number of men but most of them never lead to anything noteworthy. I went in with super low expectations and was in a stage of my life where I was quite comfortable being single, but nonetheless hoping to put myself out there. Anyways we ended up hitting it off and I’d never felt a connection like that before. Conversation was so easy and engaging and the progressive physical contact felt so natural and right. Evidently we did sleep together. The relationship between us was confusing and blurry. It took me a while to realise how much I liked him. Due to past experiences where I had gotten really hurt, I was held back towards confronting my own feelings. Eventually I did bring up the ‘what are we’ talk to which I got told whilst he liked me, he was not in a point of his life where he could provide me with the relationship I wanted. I was heartbroken. I cried in his arms, and he comforted me which only made me fall harder. Like a hopeless idiot I told him that despite this, if he still wanted to see me then I did too. So, afterwards we continued to see each other until eventually I felt him distancing. I think he was an avoidant person. After I confessed my feelings, I felt him gradually distance from then on. Eventually he just ghosted me. We remained mutuals on social media and I saw him post a suspicious looking picture of a dinner, with what seemed like a girl. In a fit of emotion I confronted him via text. I called him a liar and he told me that he was sorry I felt that way, but everything he told me he felt had been the truth. This was the last time we spoke and it was nearly half a year ago. Since then I have not been able to get over him. He was not my first heartbreak or love but he has been the most relentless. Ive seen and slept with other men since him. None of those worked out for their own irrelevant reasons, but at the end of every night I find he is still the one I think of. I’ve gone far past the point of crying over him. I go by my days normally and spend time with my friends and family just fine. But he is always in my mind. Our conversations, his touch, the memories. I just want to see him again. This desire won’t go away even though I’ve long removed him. I have not read back a single message from him since we ended it off either. But nonetheless I still just can’t forget him. On some nights where the memories and longing are especially strong, I fight with my self control to not contact him. I have regrets in the relationship. I liked him so much that I was scared. Even though I missed him, I never initiated a single date or call because of it. I wish I had just been more brave now- although it’s too late. I don’t know how to get over these feelings now. The longing, the regrets, the memories of him. He’s the first and only person I’ve felt this strongly for. I know everyone says time will heal, but it’s been months and months. Whilst I have enough self control and forethought to not recklessly act on these emotions, I also can’t get rid of them. I really do just miss him. And more than that I just still like him so much.

It is devastating me inside. We were so happy, so perfect together. No fights, no real incidents, nothing. Just out of nowhere a switch flipped for him and he wanted out. My best friend for years before this relationship. My happiest and healthiest relationship... and according to him, his too. He said I was a fantastic girlfriend and it made him sick to do this. Then why do it? And why cut me out of your life completely? What went wrong?? I want to fix this so bad and just be happy again. I just want him to come back so we can move on from this nightmare together. I've never felt this type of pain before. I miss him so bad. Everything has fallen apart in my life that I was working so hard on. All I can do is hope in my heart is that the next notification I get is you reaching out to me. I feel so pathetic and miserable and nothing is distracting this.

me and my ex are long distance, we met online, fell in love, then we met for the first time. hed already left me once after something was going on in his life, but he blamed it all on me. we then finally met in person and got back together and he held me in his arms whilst i sobbed and he promised hed never leave me again whilst wiping my tears, he said theres nothing i could possibly do thatd make him give up on us and he promised id always be his. during our first break i had asked that we dont get with other people, however i was so low i couldnt get out of bed and at the time i had no friends and couldnt talk to my family about it, i had only ever opened up to him. so i made a stupid decision and downloaded hinge to talk to someone, some boy messaged me and i had told him constantly that i still wanted my ex, and nothing would happen between me and the hinge boy. i then went to his house to talk about my ex and understand my feelings, the boy then assaulted me. my ex found out about this and was understandably hurt that id be on a dating app, and we planned to meet and talk about it, but i couldnt find a right time to bring it up without it being awkward, (we were very romantic the whole time), so on the last night i was there he said we should just forget about it, i asked if he was sure and he said yes.

before my ex i had one previous boyfriend which only lasted a month, but during that time he attempted to cheat on me twice and was only with me to make his friend jealous. also i had never received proper love or emotions from someone and never been good with expressing my own emotions. these both made me have trust issues and made it hard to express how i feel and could often take things hed say as an attack on me and automatically get defensive and overthink.

my ex however also was not able to communicate properly, hed not think about how he phrased things until after i got defensive and panicked, then hed send a message saying he didnt want to lose me. hed also assume every time i brought something up or wanted to talk that id start an argument.

we were each others first love and would always talk about having a family and never leaving each other and waiting for the day we could always wake up with each other. we were always so incredibly happy together, constantly smiling and laughing and very affectionate. but he told me that it seemed like a chore for me to be with him and that i didnt like him, he knew i loved him but didnt think i like him as it seemed like a chore for me to be with him.

he wanted a break but i automatically thought he then hated me and didnt want to be with me, he then made it a break up instead and said its to stop us arguing over “relationship stuff”, he then sent a message the next morning saying he doesnt want to lose me and wanted to try one more time on call to fix things, (he didnt have any time to meet me), i agreed with him. i then noticed he had removed all his posts on me and asked why, he said we arent together which confused me as he also said he wants to be with me and i didnt understand why he would remove his posts if he still wanted me, i then assumed it was to show it off to someone and that his priority was instagram, and not fixing things. but he took this as me already causing an argument after he “only just offered to fix it”. this then caused the argument which ended us completely. i kept asking to call as he said he wanted to but he was never free, so i asked what he wanted and he only said “idk” for like a week, we then started arguing about getting with other people and i said to leave me if thats what he really wants. he however thought that was me asking him to leave me so he said “fine ill leave you”. whilst i was in a lecture, over text. i asked to call when i got back and he just kept saying why. we eventually called and i said id fix things, id sort my behaviour and fix my overthinking but he just kept saying he doesnt know what i can do and he doesnt think anything will work. i ended up begging him, saying i cant do anything without him, everything i have has something to do with him, my life plans include him, i was hyperventilating and barely being able to breathe on this phone call and all he said was asking if he should send my xmas presents as they were just taking up room in his room. i said im struggling to eat and hadnt eaten since he ended it and all he said was “eat then”. i was still trying to talk things through and he ignored what i said and said i need to move on and i should start by deleting my posts of him, i said that wasnt my priority and that we should stop talking to help me grieve him. he then left me on delivered for over a day and we hadnt spoken but i ended up messaging him asking to stay in contact. i called, messaged constantly and he was ignoring my calls and messages. i found an old message of his asking if i was done and if i didnt want him then its fine but he still wanted me in his life, i sent him this and asked him if we could do that. he just kept saying “whats the point”. i said because we got on well, even though the relationship wasnt working at that time we didnt have to lose everything, we both know absolutely everything about each other and told each other everything that happened in our lives for over a year, falling asleep every night on call too. and i didnt want to lose that.

since that hes left me on delivered for like 22 hours now, and im actually going insane

idk what to do, ik its all my fault but he wont trust that im changing and ill make it better. i cant stop crying, ive come home from uni and i cant manage doing things that i just started getting into a habit before he ended it. am so lost

he had said its everything that adds up and i get that, but i let stuff go, he let stuff go, we both didnt communicate perfectly and we could both acknowledge that after an argument. its just during an argument when we couldnt consider each others feelings, i dont know how to make this better now

Today my ex texted me after he broke up with me Thursday morning. Basically saying that the last year has been really special for him, and that he will forever find me special, and that i was the first girl he ever fell in love with. That he will cherish our moments ect and that he was sorry he did hurt and wished me the absolute best…

For some reason the text feels even more painful because i still had hope and now its clear he is really moving on. I just don’t want to reply because i just can’t let go.. I can’t say goodbye but I am scared that he thinks i am just salty for him dumping me and that i can’t take rejection…

If your ex wouldn’t reply.. would you understand she is just hurting? I am having a very hard time with the break up. I deactivated all my socials and basically just wanna live like a ghost, while i know he will be partying and i just have to do a lot of healing ❤️‍🩹😢