In college, I partied a lot in Athens and met so many new people. I graduated with an associates and then moved back home. I got a job at a law firm and worked there for seven months. I was extremely unhappy and felt like I lost myself.

I decided that I wanted to go back to school and am doing alone classes. I have a little over a year left. Then, I am seeking a masters and will be commuting, so I will be living at home for awhile.

I got a job a job at a place I worked during my college breaks (summer and Christmas). I absolutely love this job and the people I work with. My paychecks are pretty good, and I make my own hours. I’ve been working around four days during the week and sometimes chose to work the weekends.

The thing is, I’m addicted to this job. I love everything about it. It is so nice having a job that I love, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. I mainly need to save up money for grad school. I know taking loans is an option, although I would like to pay most of it on my own as possible.

However, I’m working so much and taking classes that I haven’t seen my friends a lot. I’m also newly single, and this gives me even more motivation to work more. I know I should invest in my personal life more, but I want to be alone right now. I’m in a zone and it is one that I want to be in. I love working, then coming home and spending the night by myself and my parents. Does this seem unhealthy?

After the breakup, I just have wanted to stay in this zone honestly, and to me it’s a good decision. I genuinely am very happy with where I am right now, and love being on my own and just focusing on myself. I would hope that my friends understand that and they do, but I don’t want to go see them for awhile to be honest. They also mostly live in Atlanta. My parents think I work too much, but as I said, it’s just so nice to be an environment that I love and feel welcome in compared to my last job. I am finally…. finding myself again.

At 28 years old I'm starting to see just how friendless I actually am, and realize that I'm more so a baby sitter for most of the people I've had in my life. My friends have children that they weren't necessarily prepared for, with people they probably feel like they shouldn't have had them with, some of my friends still live with their parents and don't provide for themselves, or have vehicles, some of my friends have jobs, but never have any money because they're low income, one of my friends started a business, but now has this extremely arrogant attitude towards anyone who's "not business motivated/minded", my older sisters confide in me about their marriage issues, and unfortunately so do my coworkers. None of these things am I judging in any way. People go through shit right? But I'm tired of being the first person people go to because I give good advice or a good shoulder to cry on..

This may seem extremely contradicting, but I'm not a people person. I understand that people aren't meant to be by themselves, and I actually don't enjoy being alone. But here's where my confusion comes in. I'm a kind individual. I treat people the way I'd like to be treated, and even though people piss me the hell off and I feel like I never have anything in common with anyone, I'm still a very likeable individual.. But holy shit, am I losing my fucking mind?? People love me and I don't want them to because some of the things that come with it, is so unbearable, and I feel like I'm now responsible for being that positive light in these dark ass people's lives.

Yes I know there are limits and boundaries, but I've been through some hurtful things in life, and it's tough for me to deny anyone kindness, affection, or a listening ear, even if it means my ears gotta bleed..

But on the contrary, would you guys believe that I've actually stepped out of my comfort zone and gone an extra mile to really make people feel welcomed, feel important, liked, appreciated, etc, and they actually end up hating my fucking guts over little things like how long my nails are, or things like me having more experience than them, in my line of career? (Generally other women, but some men hate me randomly too and I will legit sit and rub my temples into the ground with confusion, because HUH????? WE'RE ADULTS I THOUGHT????)

So fun fact. I'm a gamer. When I hop on COD, I feel so connected to these people who live 30 states away from me. But when it's time for me to go swimming, or go to the club, or fly to Dallas Texas to see my favorite YouTubers, there's not a single person to be found to do these things with..

I try to make new friends and it is the most aggravating thing I've ever experienced.. they all love me, but there's never any natural chemistry where I love them back, and I feel like they're only drawn to my kind nature, knowing they'd probably keep their distance if they ever saw me having a bad day.. I genuinely do not get it.. I feel like I'm faking, or even hiding part of a personality, to caudle the feelings and perception of others, meanwhile I'm fuming on the inside about something all the time and no one else is raging with me.

The introductory phase to meeting new people to make friends for me is filled with small talk, me forcing myself to laugh at jokes that aren't funny, dry ass text messages, and essentially finding out that I have NOTHING in common with any of these people.. am I supposed to just suck it up and be friends with these kind people and hide the fact that I have COD potty mouth regularly despite how kind I am? Like what am I doing wrong here?

I genuinely just want to find friends I can be my FULL SELF around. I want a friend I can sit in silence on the phone with and it isn't uncomfortable, I want a friend who is as financially stable as me, I want a friend who's as responsible as me, a friend who doesn't give me an excuse on why they can't do something, who has motivation, who knows when to keep conversations about problems in their lives to a minimum, because that can be draining to those who have issues of their own to deal with..

I had a very close friend up until recently, who I feel like I got along with very well, but there was a misunderstanding between the 2 of us and neither of us are budging, which is okay with me, because I'm really done being the peace keeper. But now that I'm older and realize I can cut ✂️ someone off with no hesitation, it's easy for me to remember the CONS of my friendships..

Like one friend is constantly judging people as if she's a mean girl in high school, one friend complains she can't get food stamps because "all the illegal Mexicans are taking them all", one told me my life ain't that bad because I own my house and have a good job, one constantly drains me with the drama behind her kids father, one thought she could speak down to me, and I'm just sitting here in life thinking ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ain't no way I'm supposed to tolerate this bull shit and baby these bitches onto the right path of how to talk to and treat people..

Like am I asking for too much? Am I missing something? Am I just one of those old women who's a bridge troll or? I've never been more overwhelmed and annoyed with people in my LIFE.. I know I'm far from perfect and I'm sure I'm annoying af typing this long ass reddit but JESUS CHRIST. AT THIS POINT someone show me how to astral project up off this planet because I'm tired 😂

How would you take it if your so called partner has you restricted on every social media they have rarely wants to see you anytime you try and explain how you feel just shoots it down and when you tell her the truth about what she is doing to you is wrong always have an excuse of some kind

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