I’ve been sober from weed and vapes for 6 months. I used both as a crutch for mental health problems, and it really only made those worse. Dealing with these issues with a clear head sucks a bit, but I know it’ll get better. We all got this! :)

When does sober dating get less awkward? Now I don't know where to go and what to talk about on a first date. Online dating is always so awkward for me in the first place.

Just need some advice on finding hobbies and sponsor while I’m trying to stay on top of my sobriety - been hard finding groups with ppl my age (18) so if anyone had tips would be much appreciated.💙

290 days sober. Starting out I isolated and it worked for me. I have recently began attending meetings and I am getting a lot out of them. However, I started overthinking like usual when I came to an impasse. Am I exploiting AA by cherry picking the steps and modifying the program to fit my needs? Am I belittling the process and hindering other people’s recovery?

Hello!

I have been sober for almost 10 years. I became sober when I was 24. Since then I have weaned off psych meds completely with the guidance of psychiatrist. I have been off psych meds for 9 years or so. Weed was my drug of choice and it was all I cared about while using. Bad psychedelics (acid) or maybe a delicate psyche led to an episode of phychosis when I was 17, and at times periodically after that weed (particularly after stopping and smoking again when my tolerance was low) retriggered this psychosis and landed me back in the psych ward. I never drank regularly but would sometimes drink.

My life has improved drastically after becoming sober. I finished my 4 year degree and have a job that is a career. I have been a home owner for 5.5 years. My friends that used to treat me like a joke now respect me and value my feedback and opinions. I also have great relationships with my parents that kicked me out when I was 21.

In the past few years I have been grappling with feelings of existential dread / coping with what it means to exist within the constraints of society. I have a decent job, but its still just that, a job. I don't exactly love what I do, but its definitely tolerable. I don't feel like what I do every day gives me true meaning or purpose. Still, I have to work for the next 25-30 years before I can retire. Also, a big driving factor of becoming sober and being "successful" was to be functional enough to secure a wife and start a family. Despite trying pretty hard, I still haven't found my person. Maybe failing at finding a romantic partner is the main reason for this lament, but who knows? (I haven't given up completely) The takeaway is: I feel like I am a wage-slave spinning my wheels in life and things are too monotonous / linear.

I started toying with the idea of micro-dosing mushrooms a few years ago as a way to break me out of this slump that I am in. I justified it in various ways by telling myself it was being used as a medication and not as a party drug. At one point I was very close to taking them, but I didn't. After running my thoughts about trying them past my parents and sister, they were so worried about me backsliding that I didn't do it. But still, I am just so burnt out on having only one mode of consciousness, just staring down the long road of life knowing there are no bumps or curves, no unknow detours. I have spoken with my therapist about these feelings and she agreed that using mushrooms was not the way. I am doing an intake with a psychiatrist soon to discuss the possibility of taking antidepressants. But, I have a serious mistrust of western medicine. I feel like it treats the medications as the answer instead of actually solving the problems. But then again, maybe mushrooms aren't the answer either? Regardless, I still trust mushrooms more than I trust being prescribed psych meds.

So, I don't know. I guess I'm tired and bored with being sober. The thought of being sober for the rest of my life is somewhat daunting. I do have a range of hobbies that I do, but those don't fill the void for me. I wouldn't ever consider smoking weed again since that was the my main weakness. And, now I have worked for and have a lot in my life and I don't want to lose it. I feel like being aware of how far I've come can keep me moving forward even if I deviate from 100% sobriety a bit. How should I address these feelings / issues? I cant just continue to not act, something has to give. Is there a way to move away from sobriety without being racked by guilt and shame? Or should I look for other solutions to my problems?

P.S. I don't really go to meetings. I did in the beginning but somewhere down the line they came across as too hardline and dogmatic for me. I would go to a meeting here or there to talk to people about this though. But, overall, I didn't really feel at home in a lot of meetings. Most people were friendly and welcoming, but then there were others that seemed self-righteous and would dole out some snarky comments. Furthermore, some meetings were pretty heavy on the Jesus stuff. I don't know that traditional A.A. meetings will ever work for me, they treat things as too black and white. I would definitely consider alternatives though.

I have been addicted to marijuana for about 5/6 years. I have used it everyday, multiple times a day. It was a way to avoid my depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. I tried to quit last January, but I spiraled. I ended up throwing myself into a really bad depressive period. I spent 8 months doing basically nothing.

Now I am quitting, for real. Im done with this way of life. I am losing myself, & my partner. My romantic relationship is taking a hard hit from this, and has always been. I have been living in a selfish bubble.

This journey will be rough as fuck. But I know in the end I will be free of this pain. The pain of this addiction.

Trying to drink less and replace with healthier alternatives/ habits. Any advise? Has switching from alcohol to soda/tea/coffee/juice/whatever helped anyone?

Really hoping I can succeed this time.

So I’ve been alcohol free for 148 out of the last 149 days, the one day I’ve off being yesterday. I went to a football game and had a few beers. The beers are the least of my concerns. I lied to my wife about it and now i have face my AA group today. I can honestly say, the beer did nothing for me. Maybe it was exactly what I needed. I’ve already apologized to my wife about lying to her. I’m more seeking encouragement about my meeting tonight. Thanks everyone.

looking for new friends i cut all of my old friends off and feel really lonely now pm is open

Today is day 55, and I feel great about being sober this long but I still feel like shit everyday. It's almost like I have the beginning stages of the flu but the flu never actually hits. I'm also having extreme body aches every single day. I thought that my drinking was the issue causing me to feel so sick all the time, but after two months I still feel like I'm hungover every single day. Is this normal? Or is it worthy of seeing a doctor about?

What are some ways to cope with all the feelings that substances used to cover up? I started with zero alcohol beer and wine, but that's too close to slipping for me to do regularly, even though they do help. I've been on a trauma healing journey for 2.5 years now, and staying mostly sober, but every few months I get totally antsy and drink because I just can't stand myself. My doctor suggested lifting weights and extreme-ish sports, but I'm finding motivation hard too.

I've overcome my daily struggles with alcoholism a few years ago. Over the last year or 2 I am now struggling with not being able to say no to a drink or not being able to quit when I get started. Im so ready to be sober. I always deal with immense shame and "hangxiety" after a night of drinking. Im just hoping for some support and a community.

I relapsed this week and went on a 5 day bender. I’m currently in the middle of withdrawal. I lie a lot about this to everyone. I lie a lot to myself. I was doing good and I was abstaining but I don’t like myself and I eventually give in. Just to feel something different and progression of the disease don’t care that you’ve been sober for 6 months. I’m in the hole right now. The nausea, the shaking. The god damn anxiety. I know I have to get through this. I know I can never pick up another drink. That person is a monster. A lying monster that pisses themselves and doesn’t shower. I am just so alone right now. And because I lie to everyone about it, I have to suffer this feeling all by myself because otherwise I have to be honest. Help me help myself.

Edit: On day three, most of the symptoms have lessened. Still not feeling great and can’t eat. Im trying to be active in these communities and get my plan together to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Thank you to everyone who said supportive things and especially to those concerned with the dangers of withdrawal. Im keeping a close eye on heart rate and making sure I do what I need to if I get that day 3/4 spike. Alcohol is weird that you can get the worst of it after you start to feel better. So I’m being mindful.

Tonight will be night one of not drinking. I don’t drink during the day, but every night like clockwork I have wine or beer and end up too buzzed, mad at myself, and feeling like shit.

I need this cycle to stop. Anytime I’ve attempted to stop I get so anxious that I give in a pour one. I try to distract by reading (my favorite hobby) but I just get worked up and give up.

Any tips on how to push through the uncomfortable? I’ve got to be stronger than this!

For anyone who wants to talk , just need some clarity and peace of mind and possibly guidance

I realize that my steady everyday drinking (12-14 beers a day) … it actually scares me and I’m totally functional . Background, I work IT and it is beyond stressful so I use that as an excuse along with every other single reason to have a beer . I have pushed women and relationships away on top of that because I take more priority sitting at bars with friends and end up letting the buzz take over my overthinking … I’m 42 and it’s just exhausting, made great friends , job opportunities you name it but it always ends up with the same result, me ruining a relationship with someone I care about because it’s not attractive . I’d be open to dm’s but how or where do you start safely . For background, I don’t have withdrawals in the AM, I wait til about 2-3 pm and stop at 10.

Hi guys! Im having a bit of trouble connecting with my sponsor and wondering what I should do. Im 80 days sober right now and within those 80 days we have only had 4 sit down meetings. In the first 30 days she had me call her everyday to check in which I did. (But most days it just went to voicemail and she never reached out) the last two weeks we were supposed to have a sit down meeting and go over the big book. Last week was crazy busy and I didn’t get a lot of my reading down so we didn’t catch up. (That I understand) but today after our 7am meeting I approached her and told I got my reading down and see if she would like to sit and catch up. She denied me the opportunity again to sit with her. She said I didn’t call her this week and so therefore we are not going to sit and talk. Then she said I had to call her again everyday for a month. To be honest, this really pissed me off. I left the meeting in a terrible mood and teary. I feel like I’m being punished and reprimanded like a child. I understand my communication could be better, but I think I’m a little bitter because not ONCE in my 80 days of sobriety has she checked in on me. No calls, no texts not even a “hi, how are ya?!” I feel like I’m doing the most important part of the work in my sobriety. Coming to meetings when I can, connecting with my HP, reading the big book, highlighting and reflecting on the points that resonate with me, journaling, talking about my feelings and working through emotions that make me uncomfortable. But she keeps getting hung up on me not calling. She wants me to call her to get to be comfortable around her, but how am I supposed to feel comfortable when she doesn’t reach out, scolds me, and denies me one on one time?? What’s the point of calling her if she doesn’t answer?? Last night I had a scary situation at work that gave me a little panic/anxiety attack and I worked through those feelings without the crutch of alcohol. I was proud of that! I shared that today in my meeting, and it was well received and my fellowship was very encouraging . All she said was “I’m sorry you had a bad night, but you should have called me. We can meet next week if you can remember to check in” my heart sank…here I thought she would be proud I worked through a difficult moment but she could t even give me 10-15 minutes to talk about it…I don’t know….am I overacting and just keep working with her? At this point I don’t feel comfortable with her, I’m angry and starting to feel a bit resentful…I don’t think that’s a healthy beginning to a sponsorship.

What are some hobbies/activities you’ve found interest in while being sober? Looking for some new ideas :) I like drawing painting crafting and art in general, I also collect mini things and go to the gym :) Tyia! Any suggestions welcome I like trying new things.

hi friends

50 days sober from booze (yay!!) and live with my boyfriend of 3 years who I use to binge drink with regularly. I had a feeling this would happen but now his binge drinking (6 beers in a night sometimes) (also drinks alone) is really starting to give me the ick??? My mom and her whole side of the family are alcoholics and addicts who have died early, my dad died when I was 5 due to his drinking and weight so I know I need to stop but why does it bother me so bad that he’s navigating his own journey with sobriety? his dad is a raging alcoholic and watching his mom deal with it breaks my heart and the idea of either watching the love of my life go down a similar path or die early is all I can think of. It doesn’t help that my libido has also dwindled significantly (could I also have advice on this piece) since I got sober and it has caused a disconnect over our sex life. I don’t want to project onto him and I want him to make his own decisions but the idea of being left alone with our kids like my mom was fucking destroys me.

Give me the good bad and ugly!! I would love multiple perspectives on this. Thank you!

Just hoping it won't always be like this .

Since I choose not to drink, I was just wondering how I should go about giving advice on sobriety to anyone who asks me for it. Is there a way to help without it seeming patronizing?

Just wondering. I live in a very tiny town near Yosemite. There is like nothing here... Compared to San Jose. I just moved here to get sober in June. I'm not mobile right now. But do need help. So hoping there is such a thing as this⬆️⬆️

I was a year sober in July, relapsed in August and started binge drinking and self harming again. I am starting my sober journey over this week, and just like clockwork that day 5 the cravings hit strong. So instead of binge drinking, I binge junk food and snacks and sugar until I want to throw up. I feel just as shitty doing that as I do after a night of drinking… ugh, if it’s not one thing / vice, it’s another for me. I feel like I have a very addictive personality. I went to my first AA meeting on my military base last night, but I was the only one there so it felt too casual and not structured or helpful…

I’m almost 8 days sober after a bad fight with my girlfriend. We’re not staying together right now and it’s driving me insane and to want to drink. I know that counterproductive because the fight happened because I was smashed. I’m going in to evaluation in a week for outpatient but right now all I wanna do is sit at the bar and not feel like this any fucking more. Been a binge drinker for years and fridays ate one of the days we go out. Just having a tough time with it right now.

⚠️ possible trigger warning ⚠️ No gory details or anything, just an erratic train of thought.

(I put TW on posts in sober groups because I was yelled one time for not putting it)

I need some advice. But idk where to start. Or what to say. I've tried writing several posts, but they all got so long, I just deleted them and gave up. I'm getting desperate. The weekend is coming up, and my husband will want to have a discussion. I need help finding the words to tell my husband I relapsed. How do you tell the only man ever in your entire life to ever love you, respect, you, help you, and stand by you that you've betrayed his trust, once again? I started using again last Friday and have been using since. My husband wants to have a discussion, but idk what to even say. I can tell this man LITERALLY ANYTHING. I have been able to talk to him anything since the day we met. It has never been an issue. But now, I physically can not make myself open my mouth to talk to him. It's almost like we're strangers. And that's never been a feeling for us, not even when we first met. We knew we were meant for each other. Communication has never been issue. And now I can't even speak. I need help finding the words.

Every time I try to find the words, they get snuffed out by the thought of him never being able to trust me again no matter what I say. We've worked so hard on building a new relationship without addiction interfering. We got clean together. He got clean in prison, and saved me when he got out. When it was my turn to get clean, he was THE LITERAL ONLY ONE to give me support and made sure I knew I had a safe space to come home to. My family didn't even do that! I begged and begged my mom to help me, but she didn't. It was almost like I was in a very deep hole, trying to get out, and every time I would get close to the rope to climb out, she would move it up just out of reach. Leaving only the illusion of hope, and an ever dying spirit.

My husband has been the only one in my life to love me so unconditionally. Without thought. He just does. He loves me so hard, even I'm stating to love me. So, what would make me do this? What in world could I possibly have been thinking? What is wrong with me? Why wouldn't risk everything I have now? What in my mind thought it would be a good idea to bring my toxic passed into my new, happy, healthy, thriving, sobet life? What did I think it would bring, that I don't already have? I have no answers for myself. Let alone my husband.

Please help. I'm seriously spiraling right now!

14 years!!!

i promised myself 20 days without my problem, now that the 20 days are over should i engage in that activity again or should i keep pushing?