Posting in multiple subreddits just to try and get as many different views and advice as possible. I apologise this is so long.

I’m a woman who is in my young to mid 20s at the moment, and I am living with my mother (54F) who has been an alcoholic for 8 years, almost 9 now (yes, I was a teenager when it started). I have tried to go out of my way to help her, I’ve offered to drive her to AA, help find her a therapist, I’ve offered to go to counselling WITH her and talk with a therapist together even though it’s not my addiction, and I receive no effort whatsoever. I do everything around the house from cooking and cleaning. She is functional and pays the rent and her bills. She can get up to go to work for the most part. She does call off frequently and is always making excuses. I have suspicion that they do suspect she has a drinking issue and she just hasn’t been fired because it would be a violation of the ADA/FMLA. It’s kind of murky to me, but that’s the most reasonable answer I have. However, she has broken her hand twice within this past month, month and a half due to her being so drunk that she can’t keep her balance and falls. She gets so drunk that she has a hard time getting up the stairs and pisses herself in the process of making her way to the bathroom. This has been happening more and more, like it happened three times just last week. She has a history of bruising herself and hurting her other hand about 3 years ago, she’s fallen onto her face and it’s left scabs right in the middle of her forehead. And you can’t talk to her about this because she has every excuse in the book and the most blame alcohol will get for it is “it’s just a factor” rather than being the whole root cause as to why she cannot walk, or whatever reason.

Anyways, I’m basically at a loss. I know you cannot help somebody who doesn’t want to be helped. But I also don’t have any friends who have been in this position to help me, so I’m turning to Reddit haha. I’m thinking of speaking to her when she is sober and getting ready for work in the morning, and giving her an ultimatum of she has to start going to AA, or she has to tell her manager what’s going on and start a treatment process, or I will go to her manager myself. It’s affecting her work life, like I stated earlier, she has a habit of calling off (especially on Mondays after the weekend, or Thursdays which is right after her weekly off day of Wednesdays), she broke her hand and it’s casted so she can only do half of her job, and I just think it’s safe to say she is not at her full potential being a victim of this disease. But it is also affecting her home life and has affected relationships. It also affects me, probably more than anybody, and has for years, but I’m genuinely not looking for her boss to handle that. I just need to try and get a kick for her to get in shape. I’m wondering if I speak to her boss about what’s going on and present my case and ask them to set up a treatment process and perhaps do the “three strikes and you’re out” kind of thing, and just hold her accountable that she is getting better. Her job is the most important thing in her life aside from alcohol, so I don’t see why this wouldn’t work.

I guess I’m asking is this a bad idea? Or for alcoholics/recovering alcoholics who are parents, how do you wish your kids could help/how did they help you? Or people who are children of alcoholic parents, any advice? I know you cannot help somebody who doesn’t want to be helped, but I think this is my last avenue and I don’t know how to not help my mother. I love her more than anything and I want her to get better, even after she has been getting physical with me (this is just this past week, it has never been this bad before). It’s getting to the point where I’m about to crack and I’m going to act out in the name of “reactive abuse” and self defence just to get her off or away from me. I’m not an abusive person. I love my mother more than anybody and anything, but I have a breaking point, too. And I feel like I’ve been more than patient and accommodating. I know it’s a disease.

Please avoid from asking if I have anywhere to go. I do not. My nearest family is over an hour away and I cannot afford to move out at the moment. My job and school is here, even if I could move out, the commute would not be ideal and I couldn’t commit to that. I am working towards doing so, I’m just looking for advice on how to go about this situation and help my mother. I know the help will only get done if she wants it, but I just need to know if this would be a bad start. It feels like my last and only option left. Nothing else has worked and I fear the only thing that will help her is the humiliation of the people she would want to find out last, finding out.

TL;DR: mother has been an alcoholic for 8,9 years now and it only gets worse. No sign of it getting better. Is it a bad idea to get her work involved (at this point, the only place she is held accountable for anything) to curate a plan to help improve both her work and home life?

I'm starting a new job at a chick-fila in about 2 weeks, I'm 16 yrs old and i've worked at one before.

I had a few scars on my forearm from cuts back then but they weren't very noticeable (I started working at 15) , now they are and i'm nervous about what I should do? They've all faded a bit and I don't have any fresh ones or keloids but they're still very noticeable and I don't know if it's appropriate for them to be visible while I work. should I buy sleeves to wear under my uniform to cover up? is that even allowed? would it even be that bad for them to be showing in the first place or, would allowing them to show make me be treated negatively or fired? I really don't know and any honest info is greatly appreciated thanks :)

I randomly get the urge to check into rehab even though the last rehab I went to was in 2016 and I haven’t needed it since (had some periods of using different things since then but was able to stop on my own). I think I miss the camaraderie, structure and activities, and maybe I’m feeling lonely or burnt out. I have a 6 month old and 2 dogs that im home with all day every day (which I loooove doing!!) but from time to time, I get nostalgic about rehab.

Any suggestions for how to get through that feeling? That don’t require me to be away from my baby? My anxiety doesn’t do well without my baby with me.

I’m currently almost 1 year sober. It’s the first I’ve been asked to do a chair. Does anyone have advice or tips on how to do a good chair/what to talk about and how to organise my time so I’m not just sat there blabbering on about god knows what? Help!

I've never been in a relationship with anybody who was a recovering addict of any sort. However, my new girlfriend, of about a month, has been going to NA meetings for about a year now. I've gone to a few with her for support. Here comes my dilemma that I'm hoping somebody can help me with. Last Saturday she was complaining about stomach pains. She said they were very severe. It was night time and she decided she needed to go to the emergency room. We live in Kansas City Missouri. There are at least two hospitals that I know of here. So I'm driving to the closest one and she says not to go there. So I think okay we're going to go to the other one. No. She has me drive out of state across the bridge to Kansas State. We go to the hospital there and we're sitting in the emergency room. They draw blood for tests like they always do. As those tests are being done she asks for morphine. The doctor told her they need to wait before they do that and then left the room. I asked her, isn't morphine bad for a recovering addict? She said that it is okay if the doctor prescribes it. Later, the doctor comes back in and says the blood work turned up nothing, however, blood work does not always show what they're looking for. She then offered to do a scan on my girlfriend's stomach to see if they can find anything wrong. If they found something, she would be given morphine and they would go from there. My girlfriend got pissed. She started insulting the doctor. And then said she wants to go home. As I said at the beginning of this, I've never been with a recovering addict. I don't know what they go through. I don't want to think the worst of her. I want to be here for her. But I'm also not sure that what I'm thinking is actually happening. How can I know for sure that she is actually in pain and is not just trying to get it fix? Is it still called a fix? Any advice or information would be freaking wonderful. Thank you.

Holy shit, the amount of changes that can happen in 6 months are wild as hell. This is the longest I have been clean off every single substance since I have started using drugs at the age of 12 (I am 31 now). I have a decent job in a good work environment. I am making friends that actually care about me. My mental health is stable. I am going to the gym. I am helping other people in recovery. The only thing I regret is not doing this sooner. Not every day is great (in fact some days are straight up miserable) but today sure is a good day. I am finally seeing what is possible with living a life free from drugs and alcohol.

I am going to keep doing what I am doing one day at a time. Meetings, calling my sponsor, slowly but surely working my way through these steps.

Thank you guys. This subreddit was truly an inspiration.

I was denied referral to residential treatment by Kaiser Addiction Medicine Department when I truly felt like I needed it. They stated I was doing so well in out patient I didn't need referral. Anyone else have similar scenario and from which facility?

And I am in recovery and only ask because I am trying to understand how others might have managed overcoming these kinds of barriers to treatment.

After relapsing 4 years ago, I'd been stuck in a vicious cycle of Suboxone and drug abuse. It got bad at a great new job I took 1 year ago and after blatantly nodding out at my desk a couple times and not doing a good job, I was fired. This set the wheels in motion to really get off everything.

I went home and started a fast Suboxone tapper from 10mg, but was still using benzos, speed, K, soma, etc. Anyways, I got down to 0.6mg in 6 weeks while working with a Psychiatrist to manage WD and eventually ran out of $$ for other drugs. I made the jump and was left depressed af with a lot of physical withdrawal/awful sleep for 1 month+. I had to get back on Cymbalta (took it in rehab 5 or 6 years ago) for depression I had never experienced like this before. It's now been 2 months since I jumped and the SSNRI is really working now. I feel so much better. Also, I started Remeron (Mirtazipine) for sleep and it is the best sleep med I have ever tried. I consistently fall asleep each night and stay asleep, while not waking up hungover af in the morning like Seroquel. Total game changer.

I feel blessed to wake up each morning without being sick and having to take any opiates. I'm completely sober, but now the hard part is here and I have to stick with recovery and beat the cravings.

Thanks for reading and remember don't give up. Addiction is ruthless, but you can overcome this shit!!

I've drank and done drugs off and on since I was 12, usually only smoking weed (on a often daily basis) alongside week long periods of getting drunk daily. I'm 18 now, and I'll mention I've had ptsd for years and was born with hep C. About a month ago I became addicted to oxycodone and within a week developed a heavy tolerance, ran out of pills and lost my source. I went through withdrawal for about 8-10 days and I suspect I might have PAWS because I still have cravings and overall just feel like shit. I started going to NA and while it feels nice to connect with other people on this issue I'm trying to find a good reason to not use opioids again other than money. I have a lot of irritability and restless due to my ptsd and the pills made me feel like I could relax for the first time in my life. I tried kratom and at first it gave me that sense of relaxation again but it stopped the day after and I ran out trying to chase it again. I feel like I'm just not ready to recover. Eventually I want to. Eventually I want to be happy and find meaning to life outside of drugs but I dont feel like I'm ready.

It was so sudden, I just met with this girl, she had cider with herself and asked me if I wanted to try, I answered yes. Than I bought myself two beers without any hesitation or reflection.

Effects was awful, I became instantly tired and my stomach hurt, my amphetamine craving instantly rose telling me “dude it’s not your stuff, forget about recovery, find the speed now”

I don’t know how, but I stopped at this point.

I don’t want to play with my addiction anymore and drink alcohol - especially there was zero euphoria, I just became instantly tired.

Would be glad to hear for your experience

Ps. I’m recovering alcoholic and drug addict (my DOC was speed), I was almost 10 months sober before yesterday

TLDR: Should I be ashamed to be a stripper in recovery?

Hi all just wanted to get some feedback or advice from ppl in long term recovery. I have nearly a decade up in recovery and I’ve recently returned back to the adult industry. I used to be an exotic dancer when I was younger. I’ve recently gone back to dancing 1 night per week. My husband is fine with this and I feel like it works well for our lifestyle. For one, it gives us extra money and it gives me a fun creative outlet. Problem is I don’t feel I can share as freely at my recovery meetings. I’m getting a little anxiety about sharing, because I guess part of my lifestyle is taboo. I am still 100% abstinent and I actively practice my recovery. Maybe there’s a part of me that feels shame about it. I feel like I can’t be as open about my life when I’m sharing. I also I wouldn’t share this type of thing from the floor. Perhaps I need to realise that work is an outside issue? I don’t have any close friends in the adult industry, perhaps I need to make some so I have industry support? I just don’t want to feel any extra anxiety at meetings. I feel like if other recovery people knew, they would judge me. But everyone judges everyone else anyway- might aswell live my best life.. The truth is I’m in the best years of my life. All my work & money stuff is great, my romantic life is great. Even my recovery is going great, so why do I feel less than? Any insight would be helpful. P.s. I have had stripper friends in recovery, I’m just not in touch with any now.

So apparently they have a benzo route and will help me get off it once (although i was reassured by a doctor that I am not in withdrawal, maybe a bit of a rebound/paws/kindling, think i have been there before) if I formally agree in writing to not do it again. Any ideas? I remember reading something online about this for their services but I can't find it now. Anyone had experiences with the county durham drug alcohol recovery service.

hello, if anyone needs to talk about anything then please message me or reply no judgment

First, let me say that I know there are already numerous threads addressing this issue.

I (35M) was diagnosed ADHD very early on, probably at 8 or 9 years old. Since then, I've been all over the place with stimulant medication. Some years I was on it for the right reasons, others I abused it heavily, and sometimes I abstained from it entirely.

A couple years back, the Adderall shortage happened, and I went several months without access to it. I was falling apart, and starting the downward spiral into deep despair and suicidal ideation. This is nothing new.

Without going into any great detail, I'll just say that I substituted one drug for another and started using crystal meth. My goal was to use it therapeutically, which is, obviously, a ridiculous notion. I found myself completely twacked out of my mind and in desperate need of intervention. This went on for a year or so.

The last run, I attempted suicide a week or so after the bag ran out, and began my recovery in a psych hospital. My first 2 days there, the doctor prescribed me Vyvanse, which I had been prescribed before on many occasions.

After coming home, I was determined to stay clean from all stimulants, and I made this clear to all doctors and family.

I've been doing well, but struggling with productivity, prioritization, motivation, and all the other ADHD symptoms that have been a constant in my life. I see my psychiatrist once a month, and last week I asked him to go back on stimulant medication. He declined, and I started to panic, internally. Honestly, I feel a pretty strong resentment toward him because of this.

Yesterday, I went to see my PCP who was willing to prescribe me Adderall, which I took according to the prescription today.

Coincidentally, today marks 60 days clean for me.

I'm torn, though. I have a legitimate diagnosis, was legitimately struggling with symptoms, obtained a legitimate prescription, and took the medication as prescribed. I informed my sponsor and both parents, but haven't told my spouse yet.

I don't feel like I've done anything morally wrong, and I do believe I am still clean, but the reactions from my sponsor and parents were disapproving and disappointed. I did, after all, go against the advice of one doctor and went to another one to get what I wanted. This is clearly manipulation, but I don't understand why I was denied treatment for my mental health, or why I was expected to suffer the pain of trying to grind through daily life not only clean, but without one of the most crucial tools in my arsenal, which was Adderall.

TLDR; I went behind my psych doctor's back after he denied me a prescription for Adderall and obtained it by asking my PCP for it instead. Am I still clean?

Hello, my birth name is Benjamin, but I go by Glitch when I'm not somewhere with family or legal or medical random shit lol. I'm a young adult (not telling u how old nun of ur beeswax lmao) with high functioning autism (once known as Asperger's) severe depression, mania, paranoia, bipolar, anxiety, drug induced schizophrenia or just a form of born in schizophrenia I found out dis year so I'm not rlly sure have to see a medical professional, and my brain is beyond fucked up. While I'm not actively committing crimes and I can look people in the face and work hard and function when I want to its almost unpredictable what I'll do when the sun rises or even if I ever sleep and my my moods swing every fucking hour or so. Some days I'm chillin n shit but other days I'm fucked up and my severe drug addiction ain't helping shit. I used to eat like a mf cuz I'm a stoner, still am, but now cuz I been addicted to meth, chain-smoke, still seeing weird shit from my past benadryl, Dramamine, and dxm use am laced with fentanyl every like other week, and idk how I'm not dead and fuckin when I have access to opiates rarely lmao when it's actual good shit (most opiates all in Texas where I live rn are dog shit and like 1000% guarantee laced with fentanyl. fuck this state btw and fuck fentanyl. I haven't slept and eaten in like 2 days bruh that's nun but like I feel horrible bruh. I don't even. I dont Do anything I need to apply to SSI benefits but I took fucked up 24/7 to do anything but listen to music, browse the internet, make my weird ass music cuz making music is how I cope when I create anything creative, and my lonely pathetic ass who is better off alone cant stop beating my dick to fuckin goth girl, emo, alt, and Asian xxx shit lmao (sorry TMI I cant suagrcoat shit dawg i need help bro). Anyways I hope u could give sum time to read this to show people ur not alone while I'm hopeless and I've lost everything if u need to talk to sumone my DMs are open. Vice versa. (P.S: I'ma address this now and will go further on in this long ass text thing for myself cuz I need to let this shit out, but anyways

2019: not much I'm an adolescent and I drunk first time off vodka half a big bottle and I just start yelling and crying and singing sum random Brock Hampton song idk lol

2020: I start fuckin with caffeine and I use it every now and then but soon caffeine became a huge lesser dangerous legal addiction for me years later. I smoke cigs sometimes and dats bout it

2021: I start smoking pot I popped xans once and percs three times and went on a drinking binge for 2 days. Pretty bad year for me addiction is f a huge issue but my mental illness is growing worse and worse. I have no friends, barely at school, shoplifting monster cans and alcohol, and my xxx addiction is really bad it's sad bruh.

2022: I got sent to a residential program wilderness therapy hiking and creative program therapy idk lmao, this year because I did sum bad dumb edgy teen shit and got expelled from my school but before I went there I had 2 months of freedom and literally did nothing but smoke weed all day and I started vaping disposable nicotine vapes and got addicted to nicotine. I could when I arrived fresh there I became heavily addicted to nicotine vaping and shit didn't do anything really bad but I went thru 4000k puffs Ina day lmao but it wasn't every day because I only did this on temporary home visits the program provided to step back into the real world a lil bit while in recovery 2-3 times a month if u did well in the program and accepted the help. But anyways nicotine did not show up on da tests and every kid there vapes or did drugs like dissociatives or psychs that don't show up (it was a really shitty homemade urine screen test u literally could smoke weed they wouldn't know and they honestly probably wouldn't care. This was a better year for me the program helped me a lot and I permanently left the program 2 years later after being there actually this year lol I got out last summer. But shit gets worse from here and this is where my life starts fuckin up. It doesn't go to hell yet till 2024 this year, but 2023 is like a prototype to me fucking up.

2023: I get heavily addicted to Robitussin, triple C's and any forms to dextromethorphan or dxm. Dxm was one my fav drug ever and it only brought me happiness and made me feel turnt up while tripping dick half the time lmao. I have overdosed once of dxm and almost overdosed again 2 times while using it (dxm overdoses are terrifying by the way and can fuck u up mentally and with ur brain shits but it can't actually kill u, but still don't take fucking 48 triple C's like me and cuz don't take triple C's in high doses ever EVER Dem shits be having really nasty shit in there ngl. I havent used the drug in like 4 weeks and that's the only thing I'm proud of this year literally because for reason I could use the drug but also function very well (except when I made my music. yeah I make music, art, and I shitpost and do fashion n fits n shit lol, am taking a break from anything online or my creative stuff because I'll tell u later on what happened literally a few hours ago, but yeah I'm probably gonna be off Instagram for idk how long I guess until my minds right. But more on that later). Now for this section I'll talk about how I had so much good going for me and how I actually had a very fun year in 2023 and arguably the best year of my life. My name on social media, music, and memes I created (I basically posted whatever the fuck I wanted but people loved it), I was making so many new friends that I never had before I had like hella friends but I still was a junkie in the making lol (I was looking up DMT stories and wanted to get into that heavy and once I got out of my residential placement weird thing idk I made oath secretly to myself that I told nobody that I was gonna tweak, trip, get geeked, and basically get high the first like year I was out of da therapy place . Anyways to wrap 23 up it was fun and I was growing my diy "career" it's not rlly it but I'ma call it dat lol, making friends better my mental illness n shit but I don't was doing dxm every time u got to visit home. (Btw we always come back and the visits were every 2-3 weeks and holidays. So I was happy cuz I was high n shit n not getting dirty pee but I wasn't doing my brain and body any good.

2024: The Darkest/Worst Year of my Life, I was still abusing dxm heavily but then I got hooked on Benadryl and did Dramamine a few times. I'm from Long Island New York and moved to da big city of Austin Texas, where later on I started fucked with meth heavy, crack one time, shitty cocaine, and I was even laced with K2 and fentanyl! Can u believe it! Anyways yeah I started fuckin with hard shit and fuckin with that fuckin me up and me rejecting to take my psych meds, staying up late, eating shitty ass food and junk, and me not taking care of myself AT ALL mentally, I can say I've literally lost my fuckin mind and I don't think I'll recover until years later. With that said, I met the girls of my dreams on Instagram and we were both junkies, autistic, schizophrenic, broke, and severely mentally ill and Uber depressed. Her name was Mabel and she's doing really well for her career in underground hip hop music, she's also transgender and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's from Florida and we were supposed to link up and smoke but we have been on and off because of my tweaker ass I said very sexual things to her and she didn't like that. But I also was hella lovey dovey and I tried everything I could to win her heart. I loved no one else I tried to fill the void with mabel with other girls, but I literally got fucking cancelled because of my heavy substance use I didn't care about anything or anybody. Only Mabel, but she blocks me on everything and literally wants me dead. I had so much going for me I literally was gonna be the next hot thing In underground hip hop but I fucked it all up because I low-key was harassing women not bad but saying sexual stuff and flirting with them too much and violating their boundaries. I've have like 20 mfs most girls post on their story trying to expose me and it fuckin worked, now I really have to fuckin friends my family turned on me except my father and my stepmom n our tweaker friends (we're all addicted to shit), but besides that I have nothing bro.

The world hates me, and my life is in shambles because of my drug use. I've stolen mad shit from ppl and stores, I was clout chasing doing dumb shit, begging random people for money and my mom, and selling my best clothing n technology just to buy more drugs n shit. I've lost my fuckin mind but I'm so fried and twacked out all da time dat I feel no emotion I feel nothing I'm fuckin numb bro. Anyways if read all this I love u and I'm doing this telly story to hopefully show people ur not alone and we all have addictions not just drugs. But we gotta get our shit together the best we can and one day at a time. Thank you and ignore the typos I've spent hours trying to type this but been high asl tweaking so I saved it and re-edited it the best I could when I came down this morning. Love yall.

P.S: Don't be a sheep, I started fuckin with drugs cuz my fav rappers and artists were junkies lmao, esp people like Sematary, Ken Carson, Glo Gang, Kurt Cobain, n many other ppl lmao just be urself don't follow what's cool cuz it ain't cool. Drugs are whack bro frfr. Aight thank y'all have a nice day.

Hey y’all. Posted here last week. Almost 7 months clean from a years-long kratom addiction. All symptoms have resolved except sleep. Almost 7 fucking months and I woke up at 3 AM this morning - only got about 5 hours of sleep. I constantly feel awful, exhausted, hopeless. I have such a hard time thinking or doing much of anything. It comes in waves but holy shit I’m struggling really hard. I don’t feel like I’ve had but a couple good nights in the last ~210. It grinds you down day after day. Utterly exhausted to your soul, only to compound that with yet another shitty night. I don’t know what to do. I’ve gone to a doctor but I can’t take anything because I’m an addict. I just need some fucking hope that this will get better. I can’t keep living like this. Please, anything will help.

Im currently in residential treatment and have 50 days clean. The longest I’ve been sober for 15 years. And I feel like I finally have some faith that recovery can work for me.

Today I told my therapist that I’m going on a holiday after completing my 3 months, before I start sober living. And I’m planning on going on holiday to Bali with some of the peers I met in rehab.

But my therapist told me it was a bad idea and honestly I was quite hurt to hear that. I thought she would be excited for me given that I’ve not been on a trip in awhile. She gave me some explanation about it potentially being unsafe given we “met in rehab and won’t know how every person is doing” but I just don’t get it.

We are all focused on recovery, at least I know I am. So why isn’t it a good idea for us to go to Bali together?

Looking for advice from others who have struggled with this fused addiction.

Without cocaine, I barely consume porn, and without porn, I would only use cocaine sparingly in social situations.

I would be able to maintain a relatively healthy moderation with both vices if the other was not used at the same time.

I go through these cycles of coke binges, where I’ll buy a bunch and go on hours-long stimfap sessions everyday until it’s all gone. Last night I did this for 12 fucking hours straight and called out of work.

It feels fucking pathetic tbh. It’s difficult to bring up pornography issues with other people because it’s so embarrassing. It’s been a major influence in my life since I was 13 years old. Now I’m 32 and the thought of quitting it feels impossible. I don’t even have sex anymore - my entire sex life revolves around porn.

I’ve struggled with cocaine moderation since COVID lockdowns, where this coaddiction really developed. I tend to go 30 days between binges. Right when I’m starting to feel normal again after a bender I get an urge to buy and descend into isolated debauchery for another 1-4 weeks non-stop.

Every time I do this, I spiral worrying about my heart health, wasted time, strained relationships, and an inability to break out of the cycle and establish some healthy habits/pursuits for once in my life.

I have ADHD which was not diagnosed until I was 29, which helps explain the excessive dopamine seeking behavior.

Even when not on a bender, I only get like 3-5 hrs of sleep a night, eat horribly, and don’t exercise. I’m genuinely worried about my long term health but don’t know how to break out.

I’m just so tired of constantly disappointing myself, letting myself down. I’m at a point that I don’t even know how to start to make change any more because I’m so defeated by every failed attempt to develop healthy habits in the past.

They say that no one quits using unless they truly want it for themselves. I can’t find the strength to fully walk away from the heights of intense pleasure I’ve experienced with this addiction. Im just concerned that it’s gonna end up killing me one day.

I possibly have minor physical health conditions but none that would describe this, I am on the psychotic spectrum with vulnerably so that might explain the whole "do you have delusions that ur dead or dont exist" thing. But like others on the anxiety sub (r/) they think that they will pass away and die young soon. Only things I've had recently are alcohol and nicotine which is moderate but constant, still going trhough the motions of what I think could be kindling or paws. Just had to write this here, in rehab, but won't see the nursing team for another week. Still with EIP/ARMS but they're on the sick or holiday rn.

I'l be moving out soon of my parents home in around a week too so it sort of fits a timeline... have a flat and can afford to pay for it so nw.

I spent 6weeks in detox/rehab and i am nearly 2 months sober. Everyone says im doing good and im looking well. But im struggling my poison was Xanax and i started to dabble with opiate pills before i went in, im getting negative thoughts and anxiety which is not going away i feel very vulnerable i don't trust anyone so i don't think to anyone about how i feel, drugs used to take my mind off it now i don't have that option i just feel like im facing a losing battle and the regret/shame/guilt is kicking in. Drugs is so strong im winning the battle so far but im getting weaker. I need to find a way of doing the rehab myself now, anybody got any kind of advice that can help me? much appreciated.

many years from a " separated " women, never feeling enough. her always saying she was " waiting for me to be the man she wants' and staying in the marraige. meanwhile after going sober and still not being enough i self destructed and now have no clue how to get out.

i realized she needed to go to get clean so you know what she does? threaten threaten and call me 300 times over five days to the point i get freaked out and tell the truth to my coparent. now coparent wants full custody and as i realize i just lost my son then this lady is ok with leaving.... just broken

We took in a friend of a friend of my sons about a year ago. Sweet kid very respectful and helpful around the house. A few times my dog would get Into his room as we have the handle door knobs not the circle. Everytime we found it quite a mess and honestly hurtful as he hasn’t had a room in years until us. Well after that I would check his room every month or two to make Sure he kept it clean. Numerous times I would find my husbands heat gun. I would take it out. Somehow he would find it and sure enough it was back in his room. The last thing I want to do is accuse him of being on drugs if he isn’t however he doesn’t smoke Cigs and doesn’t have candles and I know he smokes pot but uses a vape. Besides the heat gun I found a lighter with the circle thing on the top take off. Tonight though I found in his bathroom a very very very balled up aluminum foil with a white sticky substance spread thinly across the inside. He moved in with us at 18 and just turned 20 so he is young and I wasn’t born yesterday. I don’t want to accuse him without proof and I wouldn’t kick him out but give him the strongest warning he’s ever had. We are his family. So I’m lost on this and very torn. Thanks for listening.

AITA for being hurt that i found my “fiance stash” of alcohol?

I do not currently live at home, i am in sober living UTF when i am trusted enough. Thank god. I am a severe alcoholic with absolutely zero control over it. Spent four months in rehab this year moved into sober living afterwards attend an iop and make 3-5 meetings a week. Life is going in a really positive direction and i am learning a lot about myself.

I go home on the weekends for my “sleep outs”. Today i went to grab a water bottle out of a cooler in the garage and found it filled with empty 12 pack cardboards and a 30 rack of hard seltzers. He had promised me there would be no alcohol here and would not drink around me and claims to not drink or be drunk the handful of times i have questioned him. Says hes not, swears he would never drink around me the whole thing.

I had an inclination he was drinking frequently again when he started to not ask me to come over during the week or flat out blow me off to go golfing.

I do not expect everyone around me to stop drinking. I do not expect sobriety from my whole family. I do expect the respect and truth from my partner of 8 years.

Am I over reacting?

was scrolling back through my reddit and found a post i made here 55 days ago when i truly didn’t believe i could get clean. as of today, i’m 54 days clean. the cravings still hit hard - this week has been particularly tough. but i’m making it. one day at a time. so i guess this is to anyone who felt like me 55 days ago. all it takes is the first day. you can do it. sending so much love <3

Has anyone actually been to sobermans? Just wanted to get some reviews before committing. Thanks!

Recently found out my partner is using cocaine and feel extremely heartbroken.

He was an amazing boyfriend. He was warm, considerate, affectionate, energetic and and is into fitness. He has been going through a depressive episode since last year, which I guess led him to his cocaine use.

Now, he is always moody, sad, has withdrawn from friends and family, stopped taking care of himself and lost interest in his hobbies. He spends most days in his room watching TV and sleeping. Never wants to do anything cause he’s always tired. He started ignoring my calls and texts. I feel so hurt and broken. He’s completely changed into a different person and lost his spark in life.

Can cocaine change someone’s personality drastically? I’m at a loss of what to do as I’ve never had any experience dealing with drugs.

TL:DR

My (33F) girlfriend (30F) broke up with me because she’s overwhelmed by having custody of her kids back but wants to stay friends and have me in her life. I told her I can’t be just friends, at least right now. We have the same meetings and saw each other today after 5 days.

I’m so lost on how to handle this. Me (33F) and my ex (30F) dated for 7 months and I just got broken up with on Friday. I just saw her at a meeting for the 1st time. She got custody of her kids back June 20th and is struggling with the responsibilities with them. I LOVE her kids just like I love her and have tried suggesting doing more things together with them so we can spend more time together over the last month. We also have many mutual friends and would hang out as a group multiple times a week.

She said she just isn’t emotionally available at all (she hasn’t been tbh) and doesn’t see it changing any time soon but doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me and wants to stay friends and me in her life. I asked if she thinks things can work out after she gets situated, she said “idk but don’t want to say no”. I already knew it meant it's not likely to happen.

I tried to keep positive I could stay friends, let her know where I stand on wanting to work things out later, told her I’ll still be there for her. Today I realized I couldn't, texted her that I can’t be just friends, maybe down the line but that I’m heartbroken right now.

I'm devastated. Idk how to handle seeing her in rooms moving forward. Today was weird, I did the best I could, said hi to her when I saw her and a bye when I left. She said it back and that’s all we spoke. I don’t want her to feel she can’t keep coming, that’s not fair to her/her recovery. All I can think about is how when she eventually does have her life in order and will probably be completely over me by then and start seeing other people. Idk how I’m supposed to watch that happen and be ok, let alone see her right now when all I want is to get back together.

Dear unhumble, Word of the day is humble or humbleness. H-U-M-B-L-E. That comment you made tonight was very rude. “You people that get arrested, I am nothing like you.” …….. please. please…please humble yourself🎶 lol no but seriously, how dare you. & it’s crazy because I used to have that same mindset. I used to think how tf you people are getting arrested for drugs, I’m so slick & safe you guys are just stupid. Until it fucking happens to you. Like do you really think people asked to get arrested or something? Sometimes shit just fucking happens that are out of your control, & you think it will never happen to you until one day, BOOM. It happens. You are no better than anyone sitting in this room. You may not have gotten arrested, but I promise you you were a prisoner to your addiction. Again, you are no better than anyone sitting in this room. Whether it’s getting arrested, struggling with poverty, struggling with hunger, etc. no matter what the situation is, YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ANYONE. HUMBLE YOURSELF. You are just like us, whether we’ve been arrested or not, at the end of the day, again, you were a prisoner to your addiction, just like the rest of us. Sincerely, A Humble One. Advice to people attending NA meetings, please watch what you say. & stick to positive recovery terms & advice to everyone attending. Be considerate to those around you & always remain humble.

I am currently in recovery from drug induced psychosis but I need to stay away from all substances including alcohol if I want to actually recover. I've been treated already but I'm not fully recovering because for whatever reason I can't stay away from the alcohol which leads me to look for other things. Really I'm trying to replace weed in my life and turned to other drugs (Nothing too hard) which caused my initial break but now I dialed it back a bit and have just been drinking alcohol but it makes me crave for the other stuff. So until I get my head straightened out and learn to be responsible enough to handle the alcohol or even recover enough to go back to weed on the weekend like I used to, I NEED TO STAY SOBER for an extended period of time. Probably until the doctor finally takes me off my meds, which he said eventually he is going to let me try because anti psychotics are very sedating and slowing down my thought process making it hard to work on my projects, study, or play video games. I'm a self taught indie game developer and modder btw for context.

So reddit what I need from you guys is the best advice you got. The advice my pop gives me already is that I got to grow up and be more responsible but I try that and can only pull it off for a week at max so I need some other advice I could use. Also staying away from it forever would be good advice (really good advice) however I need to get away from it first before deciding not to go back. I'm taking this one step at a time because I have a long way to go. Even if it means telling myself I could POSSIBLY go back to the alcohol or even weed one day but first I got to recover. Btw where I live is pretty rural and poor so we don't have the best health care so I am on my own aside from my family and a few friends as support. Also I tried rehab but they kind of kicked me out because I was too mentally ill at the time and probably still am.

And again the main problem I'm having is trying to replace weed in my life which caused me to look for other stuff which caused my mental illness (psychotic break) and then to this day I am still trying to replace it. So any advice is very appreciated.

Does anyone have experience with a weekend or days off abuse of substances? I do fine throughout the work week no thought's of any kind and then the cravings start as soon as the weekend comes. Then I go back to work as if it never happened. Feel fine then the cycle starts all over again. I wish I could break this cycle one and for all.