/r/selflove
A place for sharing everything to do with developing a deep unconditional love for your self.
Share stories, reach out for help and advice, learn with others.
Welcome!
/r/selflove is all about developing a deep unconditional love for yourself, and helping others to realise their own ability to develop and strengthen the most important relationship there is.
The relationship that dictates the quality of all other relationships.
Share stories, reach out for help, ask for advice, learn with others.
Related Subreddits
/r/selflove
Build community with the deserving ones . As for the others, you do not owe them anything.
You deserve to stand up for yourself for once in your life . You deserve protection . You deserve self-assurance . You deserve light . You deserve to stand in your own light . You deserve all of it and for the very first time , I finally understand this . It took 32 years to finally choose me above all else and everyone else and that does not make me a bad person . It makes me the sole protector of myself . For the longest time possible, I took the burden of all because I had confidence that I knew how to deal with it better but I no longer view that to be the case . In other words, you get what you get if you are willing to pull someone down to save yourself from drowning . If you are willing to bring harm onto someone , you deserve everything that is coming at you . No, this does not make you a bad person but it makes you a leader in your own life , a protector of a gentleness that you suspect you no longer have .
You get what you get when you are willing to throw others under the bus to save yourself. Today, and forever I choose me . She is a person as well and is deserving of all kindness and protection . Kindness is a currency and not to be dealt randomly .
Sometimes, it’s easy to question your worth or wonder if you’re enough. But today, I want to remind you of everything that makes you exactly the right person, THE ONE who deserves every bit of love, success, and happiness in life.
You are the kind of man who cares deeply, who loves without limits, and who doesn’t shy away from vulnerability. That big heart of yours? It’s a gift to everyone fortunate enough to know you. You see people for who they truly are and embrace them without judgment. That’s a rare and beautiful thing.
Your ability to be the voice of reason, to bring calm and clarity in moments of chaos, is a strength others admire in you. You don’t just show up for people, you stand for them. Your honesty, authenticity, and straightforwardness make people feel safe in your presence. They know they can trust you, because you are true to your word and to yourself.
You are passionate. Whether it’s in music, running, or standing firm in your values, you live with intention and meaning. You don’t do things halfway. You pour your soul into the things and people you care about. That passion inspires others to do the same.
Though your faith has evolved, your core values like love, empathy, and acceptance, remain unshaken. They guide you and give your life purpose. You are proof that kindness and strength can coexist, that it’s possible to be vulnerable and still be resilient and strong.
Speaking of your resilience, you’ve faced challenges, moved to a different country, moved across the country, and adapted to new circumstances, took risks, embraced the fears, all while staying true to yourself. That’s courage. That’s strength. That is empowerment.
Rog, you are “THE ONE” because you’re real. You’re thoughtful, caring, and endlessly supportive. You have the unique ability to see the best in others while encouraging them to see the best in themselves.
So, whenever you doubt yourself or forget who you are, come back to this letter. You are enough. You are worthy. You are loved.
And don’t ever forget, you are THE ONE.
With all the love, me.
Hello all,
I felt it was important to post about this topic, as many have asked about it. In 2014, I began working as an energetic surgeon, and learned about the effect of attachments. At this time where we are feeling the need to release what does not serve, and to bring harmony and balance to ourselves and to our lives, energetic decording can help a lot. Although we have non-physical assistance, this process can be done by ourselves, and I find that it is empowering and healing on many levels. If you have any questions, please let me know, and I will be happy to help.
One of the largest contributors to physical, emotional, and psychological depletion is energetic cording. Whenever we have a relationship with another person, whether it is with a parent, spouse, partner, sibling, friend, coworker, or another, we create energetic cording between ourselves and the other party. Energetic cords look like tubes that are connected from one person to another, and sometimes from one person to an entire group (such as a family unit or ancestry). Cording can go from any part of the energy body to any part of another's, for example, I have viewed cording between someone's head and another's head (thought transmission involving mental manipulation and judgement) as well as many other configurations, such as from one person's throat to another's solar plexus (transmissions of disempowering energies and also siphoning of another's power). The combinations of cording attachments is infinite, but always created by thought transfer.
As thoughts are tangible structures, each contain a specific vibrational frequency and energetic charge. When you have a thought about someone, that thought goes to the person, it does not disappear. And, depending on the emotional charge of the thought (positive, negative, or neutral), the thought will go through the cording to that person and integrate within their field, or it will dissipate. Over time, repeated transmissions of thoughts can create structures within yourself or another person, called "thoughtforms," which are clusters of thought energy that can shape one's perceptions and impede health. That is why it is very important to be vigilant about the thoughts we transmit, and the vibration of them, as they create.
Cords are also created by our beliefs, and are attached to thoughforms anchored in the 4th dimension. These thoughtforms are conglomerations of thoughts of the same belief and vibration, transmitted by every human on the planet with the same perception. Thoughtforms exist for anything to which humans believe and fear, so if one recognizes a belief or fear that is causing suffering, one can also decord from that thoughtform as well. For example, if you have a fear of heights or of an animal, you can decord from that fear. And you can also decord from an illness or addiction, and this release can help you to heal.
Energetic cording transmits thought energy to others, and it can also siphon as well. If you are attached to someone who is codependent, they can be continually siphoning your life force via your shared cording, which can create a host of physical issues for yourself, most especially depletion within the solar plexus, which includes physical weakness, exhaustion, stomach, intestine, and colon issues, and many other manifestations. Siphoning can also create headaches, lack of focus, and various other conditions, depending on where the cording is attached.
Decording can make a world of difference in our existence, as afterward we can rebalance and get to know our authentic self, without interference from others' thoughts and perceptions, and also life force siphoning. We regain strength and sovereignty. The results can be permanent and create a lot of healing, if we are willing to also reevaluate our relationships and to not accept anyone into our life who will take energetic advantage. Creating strong boundaries is essential to maintaining health and vibrational integrity. The higher our vibration, the better our health and clearer our spiritual perception. It is also equally important that we evaluate our own programming and clear what is not supportive, so we do not attract others into our life that mirror our own issues. Working on clearing ourselves after decording is always helpful and highly recommended, because the patterning we carry within is what expresses itself in all aspects of our daily life and relationships.
If you choose to decord yourself from another person, it is helpful that you intuit whether permission is first needed from their higher self, as we all contract our relationships with others at the "higher" levels. The physical person does not have to be asked, but you can make a request of their higher self, and then feel (or hear) a response. If you receive that the decording has been agreed upon, then go ahead with the process. If you feel any concern, then it may be best to wait until you feel a pull to ask again.
Sometimes decording can be done without asking for permission, for example if there is trauma involved and to stand in your power, you feel the need to immediately detach from another person. Also, permission is not needed to decord from mass consciousness belief and fear thoughtforms.
Please note that decording only removes energetic distortions, and the genuine love you may have in the relationship is not affected. So, if you intend the relationship to continue, decording can provide an opening for this love to be experienced and reflected more authentically.
Below is a statement that you can use to decord. You can use the statement alone, or if you would like, use it in addition to visualizing the release. By visualizing, see yourself and the other party attached, and then with holding a large pair of scissors, cut the cording from toe to head, while saying the statement. Either way is effective, either visualizing or not, so please do what intuitively resonates. I suggest you do this release in a quiet state, where there are no distractions, a state of peace and calm. And do it in a state of knowing, where you know all is cleared.
After the release, you may experience a clearing of the energies, either immediately or over time. If you feel emotional, tired, or anything different from how you usually feel, try to move through the feelings and observe them, instead of attaching to them, as this will prevent re-cording. Trusting and having confidence that all is released, is important.
"I now hereby permanently sever, cut, release, and remove all energetic cording, banding, attachments, and 4th dimensional thoughtforms connecting me to (a person, a belief, a fear, an addiction, or a past life)____________. I state that all vows, contracts, agreements, and karma are now null and void, and completed. I take back all power I have given to _________ and I take back all power __________ may have taken from me, and declare that now I regain and contain all power that is mine and inherent to me. I release and clear all energetic imprints, charges, and programming within my entire being I may have received from ________, and release and clear all programming within my mind and subconscious mind that __________may have transmitted to me, and declare I am now completely free and clear of any and all energetic distortions throughout my entire being, transmitted from ________ to me. I now state that I am free and sovereign, and am no longer attached to ________ in any way, shape or form. I am completely clear right now, and so it is.”
Font: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheStarPeople/comments/1guj1ip/energy_cord_cutting_ritual/
self love can be tough love. don’t blame the world for how you feel. you are not at fault for the way the world has treated you, but you alone are responsible (response-able) for your own happiness. it feels good in the short term to villainize the external world for the pain you feel, but growth is impossible without self-accountability. my life has gotten dramatically better when i force myself to accept this as the truth, and i hope this helps someone :)
I'm struggling in my friendships a bit. And what it means to be one. I have recently put some distance in some friendships that wellllllll just perpetrated drama.. gossip and well intentional harm. I say intentional because it seemed when I would get my aha moment.. they were just like, yeah, we knew.. watched me continuously stuggle destory my life.. and let things happen. (Granted, i should have known differently but didnt) Intentionally poked at my insecurities ? Traumas even.. lied for each other to my face....faaaack
Is there so much to ask when you/someone struggling with life that you do more than hold space for them? If I wanted to shout my struggles to go unheard, I would shout them out of the universe( i know she is listening), but I am like sharing themmmmmmm.. Like hold them/me accountable for their actions, hold me accountable. Show up even if it means a hard truth? Do friends do that, or are they there just to laugh that shit off and just make sure you get through the day?
..they are trying to poke holes in the boundaries I set by saying texting only like if you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to snap me.. ( it's just me letting them know I am still alive somewhere out in the world) waiting for them to pick up their accountability cards. Not to be baited into a friendship where we don't grow and only feel sorry for eachother...
Do I have unreasonable expectations for friendships?
If change is hard but change is necessary to grow so I'm wondering what little things can we do that leads to the feeling of happiness. For years I've been introvert quiet shy sorta person and that has really impacted my life in negative way. The things I wanted to do internally couldn't do it physically because social anxiety and self doubts have ruined everything.
Since my start of healing, reflection, and self love, I’ve come to give some advice. While I’m no licensed therapist(and can’t afford one lol) i just wanted to share something that many could relate to or could be helpful with their healing and self love journey. Throughout the past three months I’ve started journaling to myself in my notes and reflecting on the past and my life. There have been many ups and downs in this life of mines that really screwed me over mentally and reflecting/journaling helps me be honest with myself and really think on why certain things have triggered my anxiety, overthinking, self hate, insecurities, feelings of loneliness, self sabotaging and detachment issues.
These were very big issues of mine that affected many friendships and my life, and I didn’t want these things to affect me any longer bc it’s draining and tiring. Also the current relationship I am in bc my partner is amazing and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world, and I don’t want to ruin this relationship bc of mental issues.
After realizing the root cause of all of these and writing how they made me feel, it can really help on letting go. yes those things have hurt you and it’s tough to let it go trust me I know, but it’s no longer here and the way it affected you and how it molded you into this negative person/mindset is not the person who you really are. Another thing that helps me is meditation. Meditation also ties into reflection bc I reflect on what happened throughout my day and being grateful for everything that I have and for what’s to come.
Breathing during mediation also helps, bc it can ease your mind and your feelings to help you realize that it’s nothing more than a moment that will pass by and won’t matter to you late during your day. Affirmations can also help and speaking positivity and life into yourself. Tell yourself that you are enough, you deserve love, happiness, peace, prosperity, and many more positive things despite what anyone in society says.
I’m still learning everyday and some days I win, some days I still win even if it doesn’t seem like it. There are many more things I do as well but I don’t wanna make this post any longer lol.
Continue on your journeys and may we all heal to become our higher selves. To releasing everything and everyone that doesn’t serve us any longer, and become the best version of ourselves.🤍
Found this video which dives into how us seeking a partner to complete us essentially never works and that we need to focus on finding ourselves:
https://youtu.be/MQWlv7cTcqo?si=RU3CV3u8Tynkh5Cq
This is not self promo, it's a resource I found very useful
Hi, so I guess you could say that I do love myself. It’s not often that I have insecurities. I like my body and face, I find myself to be pretty intelligent and interesting. If someone where to say something insulting to my face, I would probably laugh because i genuinely wouldn’t believe it. I came really far as I used to be so unhappy and have history of self harm. Now, I’m the most accomplished and prettiest I even been.
However, when i comes to my love life, that’s the one thing. I don’t search for love anymore. I deleted my dating apps as I accepted I’m the type of person who needs emotional connection, i don’t have men on rotation to date, i don’t talk to them at all for whatever reasons. I don’t even have guy friends. I basically purged men from my life because I wanted a fresh start within myself as I lost some type of connection to me. Now months later, i can’t seem to connect romantically or attract romance. I try to search for advice online but people just say love yourself and it’ll come or to not want it and focus on yourself and other things. I did that and now I’m back here asking the same question. I’m 21 and in college, working lots of overtime, i invest heavily into myself and soon will have my own place and car. What else do I need to achieve for the precious chance of love to fall into my hands? It doesn’t help that I keep doing things to be better, more successful, more appealing to myself and potential partners yet feeling like the more I accomplish, the more to do things for myself, the more men are intimidated (than they already are, I get that a lot) and the more distant from love I become. I think I accidentally self loved so hard to the max that I can’t even think of the type of man or relationship I would want. Feels like I’m in the middle of a life path and I’m a work in progress and won’t know what I want or myself until the finish line. However, at 21, almost 22 and never had a serious partner, love is just a want and I’m doing what I can to be a good partner in the future. Feels like this is meant to happen, focus so hard on you that all the other things don’t matter. Idk, I’m just doing a lot of self upgrading but nothing changes. I still want romance but it’s not like I can just have it at my own will. I always figure I’ll be the 30, flirty and single aunt as my siblings and cousins are in relationships and raising the next generation of our families and then there’s me. It’s just lonely that’s all and I’m wondering if it’s possible to just be okay with personal accomplishments to keep me warm at night just in case my gut feeling is correct. Then, at least I can do is start getting comfortable with being single for even more years than expected.
Now I know this is going to sound silly, trust me I really know😅 but for context - me (24F) and my ex (31M) ended things around 2 months ago now. He ended it with me saying that he felt like he ‘can’t give me the affection that he thinks I deserve right now’ and that he’s ’not sure if it’s because of all of the stressors in his life rn or not’. I was heartbroken of course; since then we’ve had 2 conversations, we’re still friends/following each other on all social media’s but that’s it. Now I know that I should just move on, and there’s that voice always telling me that if he was meant to be in my life then he would’ve been. But, a part of me still is holding out for that little glimmer of hope. I’ve been doing so much better though, living for me, working on myself and I genuinely am in the best place I’ve been since we ended things. Social media is a side job for me, and has been for nearly 5 years now, I’ve refrained from posting near enough anything since we ended things because honestly I just haven’t felt like it. But, the time has come where I’ve felt my spark back and I’ve felt like I was ready to do it not for anyone else, but for me. However, there’s a part of me that’s a bit disappointed that he hasn’t liked any of my posts. It’s a weird feeling because it was never the intentions in the first place but it’s like that small tiny glimmer of hope is getting smaller. Am I silly to be feeling this way or is this normal?
I’m struggling so badly and I’m not being present. I can’t talk to anyone cuz you know when mental health hits you it hits you… everything feels so overwhelming and you can’t do anything. :( Please tell me what to do.. I can’t get myself to study and I know I should but I’m just stuck in fight or flight mode. And everytime I say okay let me smoke a cig so I can start and I end up really just sitting on my bed. I don’t feel like doing anything. And I think I feel numb :/
I haven’t been feeling well lately. I’m struggling to focus on studying for my exams, and honestly, I just don’t care right now. I’ve been smoking more than usual, feeling down, and missing my boyfriend. He’s been dealing with his own battles, and we haven’t talked in a month. We respect each other’s need for space to grow and handle our issues, but it’s still hard. I tend to isolate myself too, so I get it.
Lately, it feels like my mind is floating—I’m here, but not really here. I know I need to study and focus on what’s important, but I can’t seem to make myself care. I just want to rest, but I don’t even know what rest would feel like anymore.
On top of it all, I can’t fully describe how I feel. I just know I’m not okay. I can’t talk to my family about this because they’ll brush it off, and that leaves me feeling even more stuck. Deep down, I know this will pass, and eventually, I’ll be fine.
But right now, I need some reassurance. If you can, please send a little my way. Thank you.
I like to be alone sometimes.
My job requires me to talk to 70+ people a day.
Also, I’m inherently a social butterfly, but my social meter gets drained from that. So, I like to be alone sometimes. In that, I get lonely though!
Is it my own fault that I get in these depressive states? Is there a happy medium between being happy and lonely/alone?
If you work an emotionally draining job, what do you do to stay present and happy even though all you want to do is turtle at the end of the day???
Any advice is welcome! 🤗
For those who are suffering, feel unloved and alone with existential angst and anxiety. You are not alone and healing is entirely possible. Please read this. I really believe it will help you. 🙏💜🙏
Consider that the issue is lack of Self Love from a difficult conditioned childhood. So many of us that are on the Path and Seeking are here for the same reason. We were never taught what Self Love is as a child.
And when I say Self Love I mean an active inner voice that is always there to Love and support you. Imagine how different your life would be if instead of a fierce inner critical voice inside you had an inner voice of Unconditional Love. This is an entirely possible transformation and it will change your Life.
Not having Self Love we feel utterly alone inside. The feeling is akin to our fear of death. It's the emptiness of not being validated by our inner voice, not feeling loved and comforted, stuck in the darkness without a Light.
The fear triggers our fight or flight system and we are in a constant state of fear that manifests as existential dread and unending anxiety.
Without any way to inwardly love our Self we need externalized love to feel well. When we have externalized love or even just some sort of external validation we feel better. But when externalized love is not present we descend back into the darkness and feel hopeless again.
The good news is that learning how to Love your Self is not difficult. It just takes practice. Inner child healing is a really powerful way to learn to Love your Self and to heal the childhood conditioning that makes us think we are not worthy of our own Love.
When we transform the inner critical voice to the voice of Unconditional Love then we feel complete inside. We have a stable and abiding internal sense of well being and internal joy that is not dependent on the external world to feel well. We become in control of our emotions because we don't base our emotional state on the love of others, but by our own Self Love which is ours to give our Self always and in abundance.
Just as the angry inner critic can cause immense emotional hurt, the inner voice of Unconditional love can bring about the deepest sense of love and belonging. It's a form of inward prayer and once you get the hang of it with just a little practice you can feel the warmth and joy in your heart begin to return and you quickly begin to see that there is a Way to Ascend out of the darkness into the Light
Inner child healing is a very direct method to heal. It teaches you to love your Self and heals the childhood conditioning. It systematically begins to dismantle and heal all the conditioned barriers we have to Loving our Self
Life gets SO much better with Self Love and it just takes practice. At first you actively use your inner voice to love and comfort your Self, but with practice it starts to become automatic. Instead of the fierce critical inner voice following you around, you have an inner voice that is always there to give you words of comfort like:
"I'm here and I Love you and I'm always going to Be here for You" "You are a beautiful child and I love you unconditionally and I always will. "There is no one I'd rather be with than you. Even in the darkness I love you with all my heart. We will get through this together" If you feel called place your hand over your Heart to direct the Energy and say within your inner voice directed at your heart the words written in quotes above. You'll get an early sense of the power of using our inner voice for it's rightful purpose which is Self Love. Overtime you develop your own love language with your Self and the immensity of the Love you feel just keeps growing stronger.
I really hope this resonates with You. Please give it consideration. I was in the depths of darkness and found my way back into the Light and I can tell you that such Goodness and Joy awaits You. It's not just about restoring the inner voice of Unconditional Love, it's also about the end of suffering. No more anxiety, no more fear, no more existential angst. This is entirely possible.
Rumi says "What you are seeking is seeking you". Learn to be there for your Self with Unconditional Love in your Heart. This isn't about treating symptoms. This is about going to the root of the issue, healing the conditioning, and boldy stepping into becoming Who You Truly Are - which is the Self - the One underneath all the childhood conditioning who radiates Unconditional Light and Love always. That Child is still inside of You waiting to be discovered. It just takes practice to heal the conditioning and feel immense Joy again.
Stay strong. Healing from where you are is entirely possible. It's such a beautiful journey out of the darkness into the Light. You are worthy and you have purpose on this Earth. I see your struggle and I honor your courage in reaching out. Have Hope and please, if you feel called, look into inner child healing.
Blessings and All Love
🙏💜🙏
How can you love yourself if there is nothing to love? I just don’t see anything good about myself. I wish I could, I try all the time but I just can’t.
I hate myself sometimes but I don’t want to give up on me. I am I in so much mental distress at times and I feel alone but I know others are going through the same things if not worse. I hate myself at times and wish I wasn’t born I feel like a burden to everyone in my life. I’m trying to rebuild myself one day at time but it’s lonely I was diagnosed with GAD, MDD AND BPD in 2023 and in the past few months I’ve been struggling with my mental health diabetes, hypertension and kidney damage but my doctors think there’s hope so does my husband but I’m tired and I want to not be on earth anymore. I miss my mom she’s been gone since 2020, my father in law passed too in 2020 then my sister died in 2021 and my world has changed. I try to be positive but nothing works out for me anymore it’s like my health is declining more and more I’m not even 32 yet. I have been making the efforts to lose weight and eat right I’ve been on trulicity metformin blood pressure medication and at the gym but I just don’t see improvements! My knees always hurt and it’s hard to walk and stand which is embarrassing for me I told my doctor but she’s just saying lose weight lose weight which I know but I can barely walk yet run the treadmill! I despise myself for how I look, feel etc I made myself into a pile of shit and I wish so badly I’d just die so I can stop being in so much mental pain