How do you love yourself. I get lots of affirmation from others but I just can’t internalise it. Some days I feel amazing, others I feel the worst. My body is physically appealing but it’s so hard to see it that way. It’s hard not to compare myself to others.

I’m not going to lie, I messed up my perfectly healthy relationship due to insecurities, and not messed up where I can get that back but messed up where I won’t get that back and sometimes I think I fine, but I’m really not, during the relationship, feeling insecure about the future of our relationship, not that she was cheating on me but one day look at my faults and be like, I can’t be with you anymore. I veiwed myself as a failure at life, comparing myself to other guys she has met, and see how successful/better looking the guys she with, it may have been long distance but shit she done so much in my life, stop smoking, started a buiness, started putting things in the right track. The process of it being slow, seemed to be breaking me, the more I hear about the guys showing her attention was breaking me down. I flirted with other girls to make me feel wanted, to understand why she was in a relationship with someone who don’t seem to have there shit together, I have ask multiple times. Nothing of her words seemed to resonate with me, calling me attractive when you surround your self with attractive guys, calling me smart when I haven’t finished my college degree. I mean what more can I feel when the words you say compare to the guys she surround her self with, is like day and night. Fucking up this relationship tore a good chunk of me, and I tried to be brave about letting her go. But I miss her so much

I’m really struggling with feeling validated now that I’m newly single. I know it sounds superficial, and it is, I am aware. But how can I validate myself right now?

I’m anorexic and have very bad self love. This helped.

I'm on a SUPER strict budget and can't afford therapy. Are there any free therapists?

EDITED TO ADD: i live in GA. make too much $ for medicaid/state insurance but not enough to have left over after bills.

I believe that talking about ourselves helps us to heal and improve our lives -- and love ourselves. I would like to start a group where we practice listening to each other in the most nurturing and powerful way possible. I need feedback, so I created a short, 2 minute survey PLUS Everyone Who takes the Survey will be entered in a drawing for $50, $25, $10, $5 Amazon Gift Cards!  (USA only, please.) https://forms.gle/PbmmrWJKvvuxG4yVA I would be grateful for your feedback.  Thanks!

Recently going through a break up. No contact for 4 weeks and then he reached out on my birthday and it was like us again! All those feelings came rushing back and I had hope. When communicating this he said he was just being nice and that he was sorry. It feels like I’m going through it all over again.

I need some advice on what I can do to heal from this, and give myself the love that I feel I deserve wholeheartedly. I’m really struggling to see myself feeling fully happy and secure again.

TIA x

Been depressed for never a decade or so and I’m in my 30s. I feel weird even typing this as a guy. How can someone love themselves?

I got fucked over pretty hard with how I look, and there's not much I can do to make myself look better tbh. I don't have a lot of money so no surgery. I do have a skincare routine that I follow, I do workout, and I'm almost done with my braces. However, even after doing all of this, it's still not enough. I'm still a ugly ass man. I'm probably a light 3/10 on a good day tbh.

I am 26 years old and almost 500 days sober. I wouldn’t have classed myself as an alcoholic but I definitely used alcohol as a social crutch for quite some time, it also really messed with my mental health.

Long story short, I have just made a video which goes into detail on why I stopped drinking at such a young age and if anyone else is of a similar age, hopefully this will help!

https://youtu.be/se9PY2upMeY

I experienced the most hurtful break up recently and I used to get hurt whenever I hear love songs. Now I think about what I do for myself and I made myself my own best friend. So I try to think of myself whenever I hear love songs, and it works!

I miss him and it comes in waves and its unbearable. I know i have to stay strong for myself and not give in to the urge. But god, i miss him desperately. Ive been crying thinking about him how i just want to hold him and see him smile and just one hug from him would take away all the pain. How do i handle it

When I used to do group therapy they would bring her up all the time. How shes a master at self love or something like that. What are the benefits of her techniques? are they of any use?

I impulsively order and buy a lot for myself as a way of 'treating myself ' but it's also sorta risky as most the time it's dopamine hitting ordering .

Looking for self love ideas that isn't buying stuff

• currently aware that drawing, painting and being creative for my own gain can help, going for walks etc but it's not really hitting the same.

Hi,

I just need a place to get out my thoughts besides my therapist and my journal. I’m truly looking for community and support that this is the right choice. So, about 3.5 months ago, I broke up with my ex of 4 years and she was also my best friend and I was supposed to be hers + the love of her life. Basically, we ended because I was being abused, she kept making promises of change and as patient as I tried to be because of her mental health struggles, it never took. I was pretty much rejected and betrayed by someone I’d been best friends with for 13 years of my life.

Each day, I try to focus on my inner healing, keep being a person of integrity, and not let things eat me up. I didn’t know better then but I know now. Essentially, in August, she came back after secretly becoming an exotic dancer and things, saying I was the true love of her life, that she’d realized her ego was the problem, and that she’d use the break up period to improve herself to hopefully marry me. As unrealistic as the situation sounds being that her mental decline led to me being abused, words aren’t something I take lightly. I tried to be lenient that people with intense emotional struggles and mental health needs deserve to be loved just like anyone else and not made to feel less than.

However, right after saying that to me, IN AUGUST, she got with a guy and who knows where they met. She rebounded to a guy, while having just argued with someone about them questioning her lesbianism. So, I found out when she reached out to me and of course, it just added more salt to wounds. I actually loved her and for a good bit of the breakup, I felt stupid asf. Like, why should I love someone that doesn’t feel the same clearly based upon actions? She wanted to be with someone else that wasn’t me. For context, they’ve been together for half of our breakup lol. That being said, I don’t know anything else and it’s best not to.

What I’m doing is trying to allow myself each day to process my feelings for her, my traumas that led me to go back, and just the whole thing. I dig really deep when doing shadow work. I’ve had very prestigious and attractive men and women approach me. I’ve even been offered some sexual pleasure but I had to decline :(. All for the sake of healing 😂😂UGH! (That man was so hot y’all).

Am I moving too slow in my healing? Why tf do I still feel feelings of heartbreak and love for someone that did their own best friend (me) so wrong? HELP! Any tips?

FYI, I religiously journal, meditate, go to therapy and I have a DV group.

someone commented about it. Not sure what its about, would love to know.

I was 18 when I met up with a man who I matched with on a dating app who ruined my life in the worst way possible. He coerced and manipulated me into hooking up with him and was so calculating and cunning about it. He was so disrespectful and unsettling. I didn’t understand why he was after me and wanted to f*ck me so much. He clearly didn’t respect me, or even like me. Yet he would show up to near my house uninvited askinh for head. He would flirt with me then violate me by being cold and disrespectful. I was infatuated by him because of his looks and charm. One time time he tricked me by saying he’s outside and that he’ll buy me lunch. He reclined my seat and said "i have an idea" he got on top of me and thrusted his penis so hard that it was hard for me to breathe and i choked. I felt violated. I had my hands on his hips he said "grab my ass" i did t feel comfortable and a dropped my hands from his hips to the side of the my seat. He ejaculated in my mouth and then said "{k" with a malicious grin on his face and then he's like "where do you fk other guys?" and then i try not to say anything and his like "hmm?" and i said "at their place" and then he leaves me in the middle of the street. I felt violated and humiliated. He pushed boundaries I wasn’t ready for, and I made decisions under his manipulative influence that have haunted me ever since.

The shame, guilt, and self-loathing that followed were overwhelming. It only got worse when I found out he bragged about me to his friends, who made belittling jokes on social media, and he constantly mocked my financial situation and my family behind my back. He even used his power to financially exploit my family. He lied and said his mom “passed away two years ago” and I got so scared he might be hinting my future so I told my 🧿🧿mom🧿🧿. IK DUMB ASF. Life has never been same eversince. but thats how unsettling and scary he wasAfter everything, he never apologized or took responsibility. He simply blocked me as if I were disposable, leaving me with the full weight of trauma, shame, and the struggle to rebuild my confidence and sense of safety. I felt broken, trying to piece together who I was before everything happened. Oh yeah, all this happened because I was “friends” with some rich girl who hated my guts, so these two 🧿🧿pedophiles🧿🧿 conspired against me. Life hasn’t been same eversince. I’ve lost so much confidence and dignity. I gained 80 pounds ti feel like I’m financially stable. I can’t remember things, my cognitive functioning has been affected. I can’t be confident, I mean I never was but now its even worse.

TL;DR: I've had trouble loving myself and want to start, asking for any advice to help me along the way.

Backstory:
For as long as I (17M) can remember I haven't had the best relationship with myself. I used to really hate myself in puberty too. It got pretty bad post-quarantine, I sort of lost all love or enjoyment with myself to the point that I didn't like being alone, not for suicidal reasons I hated being alone. Life felt like this cycle, home - school - home/game - sleep repeat. I had started to like myself when I got a girlfriend sophomore year but everything I didn't like about myself I had pushed on to her, I was so so so insecure I became controlling of her, scared that I would lose her because she would find someone better. We broke up recently because I didn't love her correctly, I didn't love myself, and because of a situation where I had hurt her feelings. Now I've been on a journey to love myself and I'm not sure what to do, I've tried YouTube, a few exercises, and practiced self-care but they haven't hit home or helped in any real way. I've gotten a bit more confident I would say and I feel better mentally, but I want as much help as I can get.