Following a pretty large depressive episode, I spent this past summer relentlessly chasing happiness. I made lists of things that were supposed to bring me happiness and did them again and again, but happiness is an abstract concept that can’t be manufactured, happiness just comes and goes as it pleases. When you’re chasing happiness, you constantly measure your happiness (which is like your credit score, when you check it, it goes down) (unless you have credit karma! Which let’s you check your credit score for free!). If something doesn’t make you as happy as you expected, it’ll discourage you and lower happiness levels even more. When you are chasing actual goals, you instead get positive reinforcement each time you take a step forward. I found that the only times I found happiness were when I did something meaningful or difficult and made myself proud.

It’s awesome over here

So, happiness is a topic which we talk about daily, and strive for it.

But what exactly is happiness. Let me tell you an obvious but often overlooked thing.

Happiness is just the difference between EXPECTATIONS and REALITY.

Pick up any area of your life where you're unhappy and this equation would fit.

Example : I'm unhappy I'm my corporate life. Reason : I EXPECTED I'll get paid XYZ which I'm not getting paid, or I EXPECTED I'll not have this much work pressure and I'm having it.

Same for a relationship. I EXPECTED her to behave a certain way, which she didn't.

So what's the solution ? How can you EVER be happy ?

1. If the expectations are real / achievable :

Strive towards it, make efforts. Once you START making efforts, your unhappiness will vanish because you know your reality is getting closer to expectations - by working on it.

2. If your expectations are unreal:

Get a reality check. Reduce your expectations. Easier said than done, but embrace acceptance. Accept that this is the something which I won't get, and you'll be at peace and comfort in the long term (after probably initial discomfort).

Eager to know your views on the above.

Hello All,

Thank you so much for reading this! My name is Alanna Barnes, and I am currently enrolled in the Clinical Psychology doctoral program (Psy.D.) at Chaminade University. I am seeking participants for my dissertation research study. My study aims to create a novel measure of psychological safety. This measure would be used in the psychotherapeutic setting to assess if a client/patient perceives their therapist to have created a psychologically safe environment. To participate, I am asking for individuals to complete an anonymous ten-minute survey. There will also be a raffle for one of three $50 Visa gift cards for any participant who would be comfortable sharing their email address. The email address will be kept confidential and only used for the raffle. Upon the completion of the raffle, all email addresses will be deleted.

To qualify as a participant, here are my inclusion criteria:

• Must be over the age of 18
• Must be located within the United States
• Must be English-speaking
• Must be currently receiving psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional OR it has been less than a year from your most recent session with a licensed mental health professional 
• At the time of the study, one must have completed at least two sessions with a licensed mental health professional

If you know someone or a group that would be interested in taking this survey, please forward. Lastly, if you qualify to participate and want to participate, please use this link.

This study was approved by the Chaminade IRB on September 30th, 2024 with Protocol Number: CUH 449 2024.

https://preview.redd.it/rn12anf9ax0e1.png?width=1545&format=png&auto=webp&s=46d84f8f16fe54e563f0ca28b712e394d09a4c62

And a related question, do the effects of meaningful pursuit wane over time in a similar manner as the effects of drug dependency?

I just wanted to see what memories make your happy, whether it's from your childhood, your teen years or right now.

I’m in a dark place and just wanted to know what small routines people have that make them happy?

Hey there! I barely know you, but, if you are feeling down, I’m always there for you no matter what. You are not alone and you never will be. Whether you’re sick, or just feeling down for some other reason, just know that it’ll get better, I pinky promise.

You are a true fighter.

sincerely, 𝐀𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 ♥