Rules

Very short update. Thanks everyone for the comments, I show them to Dean. It means quite a lot to him.

Dean crashed. After the meeting with his kids he just kind of shut down. He went to work, did his job, but was just vacant. One of his close friends who is also in the shelter called me to tell me they were worried about Dean today. Apparently he has been sitting in a chair in his room staring at nothing, not even bothering to turn on a light when it became dark.

I went and sat with him. It was a bright and sunny day so his room was bright. He looked like someone had hit him in the face. After sitting with him for quite a while, I don't know how long, I'm guessing 30 minutes, he asked me if there was actually a point to any of his efforts. He told me he is a garbage human being. He said there is nothing left in his life to live for. He told me he had a bottle of vodka in his bedside drawers. He said if his children could not reconcile with him he had nothing left to give. He said all effort was a losing effort.

We talked a long time. I'm not a professional. I don't know if I did any good. He gave me the bottle of vodka, it was unopened, so he didn't relapse. Thank God for that. I spoke with the people at the shelter, I even managed to get a meeting with his psychiatrist. After leaving the shelter I went to the gas station at which Dean works. The guy in charge was there and I explained what was going on. This guy is an angel. He guaranteed me that Dean can miss work, that he can have this funk, but that he's not giving up on Dean. It seems he is now quite invested in Dean's wellbeing. He and I worked out something so when Dean shows up he's going to get a bonus. He's going to be told he's employee of the month. He's going to be shown he's valued very much at his job.

Guys this is hard. Hard hard hard. Dean is doing so much right just now, but he has to work against having done so much wrong previously. We need to give his children time. He needs to demonstrate he is sincere in his attempts to reform this time. Dean needs to find value in himself so disappointments don't send him back to the hell his life was. And he's getting there. When I left he asked if he could walk out with me and if we could together see the director. He picked up his bottle of vodka and carried it downstairs and handed it to the director. He said "this is strike one. I bought that and brought it into my room." They have a 3 strike rule.

This was the most encouraging thing I have seen in a very, very long time. He doubled down on his commitment, and he asked if he could please sign his agreement with the shelter to be clean (they have to do this if there are strikes). So he did sign it. I left the room as Dean and the director (who have a great relationship, the director is exactly the person you want in his position) were sitting in the chairs in front of the desk, holding hands and talking about the future. The director was telling him that efforts are not in vain, and relationships take time. I got a call from each of them later in the day. Director told me things are on course and a very good and productive conversation was had. Dean told me he was going to end up "owing my life to this guy." I was very encouraged. What Dean needs is support, and today I saw a whole bunch of ways he has that support. One thing that might seem minor to you and me, quite a few of the residents at the shelter learned of Dean's meeting with his children, and tonight someone went out and bought a whole bunch of donuts. He called and apparently he had 20 something people in his room saying how great he was. It was a party. For Dean. And Dean hasn't had a party for him in decades and decades.

I really love it when the system actually does good things where it should.

Photo is only half of the 120 6th graders that painted their own BE KIND sign to take home. In a world where you can be anything, Be Kind.

An update. And a difficult one.

The meeting with Dean's children happened. It went as many of you could likely have predicted. The meeting was at the shelter where Dean is now living. There was a representative from the shelter there, I was there, and, believe it or not, the manager from the gas station where Dean works showed up, to. His kids came in, sat down, and glared at the room. They were clearly there but didn't want to be.

It began with Dean talking to his children. He absolutely took responsibility for his actions, for his addictions, for how he has done nothing (he says) but disappoint his children. He spoke for nearly 10 minutes, citing specific things from their childhood, some of them really great, most of them quite grim. When he finished there was silence in the room. The worker from the shelter asked the kids if they had a response. They both articulated that they had heard apologies before, this wasn't new, and nothing had changed. Then it was time for others to speak. The gas station manager said he was delighted with Dean because he was totally reliable. Always showed up for his shift, did extra work so the people coming in after him didn't have to do it. Dean's kids looked disgusted. Then I spoke and told them about the journey I've had with Dean, and I (most importantly to me) told them about how he spoke of his children. He has never said a single negative thing. He has talked about how beautiful his grandchildren are. I told them how much he craves a relationship with them and their children. Dean's children remained entirely sour faced. Then the representative from the shelter spoke. He made sure Dean's children knew that he was not using, that he was clean, that he was working, that he was checking in on curfew and all of that. Told them that Dean is a model resident, and that he has real hope, for good reason, that Dean is making serious changes to his life.

I couldn't help myself, I spoke again saying Dean just wanted some contact, some relationship with his children. I asked them very politely if they would have a very limited relationship involving moderated visits at the shelter. They both responded. Nope. Neither want anything to do with him. Not willing to discuss it. The moderator from the shelter asked if it was okay if Dean periodically contacted them just to update them on what he was up to, the son said not a chance, the daughter said okay. So I guess that's something.

Have you ever seen a person break? I mean really, really break? I watched Dean through this meeting, and by the end he was the most broken person I have ever seen. The meeting ended, everyone left, and I sat with Dean for an hour before he said anything. The first thing he said? "I deserve that. I nearly destroyed their lives. Thank God for their mother."

My friends, I wept openly. He did, too. I was very worried about Dean and what would happen now. To my very great relief he showed up to work that same day. And the next. And the next. I've talked with people at the shelter, Dean is in a funk, but he's following his schedule, eating, working, and taking care of himself. (We went for another shave together today, it's glorious.) When I asked him how he was doing he told me that he is right now working on himself, and when he's in a really good place he will contact his children again. He also told me that he still watches his grandkids getting dropped off at school.

It is so common for someone like Dean to be working the angles, trying to take advantage of people, all of that. This isn't Dean. He got kicked in the nuts this week, and he's still keeping on. I admire him quite a bit. Things didn't work out with his children as we hoped it would, but his daughter will still communicate with him. That's a start, right?

My wife went out and bought him a blazer. Not upscale. It is the kind you wear with jeans or whatever. He put it on and said he's going to wear it every time we have lunch. He looks great.

I was about 15 years. I went to a predominantly white high school as a black kid. It was a very good school, literally no fighting or bullying because nobody wanted to get kicked out due to the extensive waitlist. If you get kicked out you're never coming back. I was walking home after school after my friends parents didn't get the message to pick me up. So, I was walking to their house. It was pouring, I was still on campus near the track firld about to leave. Some junior, a white kid...I thought he was about to splash me with water from his car. But instead he pulls over and asks me if I want a ride. I didn't have a doubt in my mind. He dropped me off at my friends and I thanked him. Literally saved me a couple of miles walking in the rain. People like him don't make the front paper but what an incredibly kind act.

Hi and thank you for being here.

I need some help but it needs a bit of backstory...

In 2016, I gave birth to my child on the 20th of December, but sadly he was born too soon.

Every year since, I have tried to do something Christmassy in honour of him - But I do it anonymously.

One year, I made some gift boxes up with treats and gifts and delivered them to random houses around my town. We sent them to 3 houses for the 3rd anniversary. Another year, we left flowers on doorsteps just to make people smile. Plus a few random AOK on other years.

This year, I can't think of something new to do so I am looking for ideas.

Ideally - Being the 8th anniversary, I would like to include that in there somewhere. It also must be anonymous. It helps me heal my heart a little, and if it is not anonymous then it wouldn't be the same. Preferably low cost also, as this year has been tough on us financially.

Please help a gal out? Thanks in advance!

Happy Halloween, everyone! I truly hope everyone reading this is having, or has had a wonderful Halloween.

Halloween has become kind of a hard time for me in recent years. It was one of my favorite times of the year until an attempt on my life on Oct. 30th, 2017 left me homeless with brain damage. Needless to say, Halloween has become a pretty painful anniversary in my life. It also falls one week after my birthday, so I'm not just bummed out, I'm also a year older. That sucks.

But this year has been a little bit different, and if you will allow some time in your day to explain.

About a week before my birthday I shared something that happened to me that day, and through the ensuing conversations it came out that I'm a bit of a writer and that I have a Ko-fi page where all my writing is free to read.

Well, my page exploded. I bet that for the next three days that page moved a little higher up in the algorithm. Also, my book sold multiple copies and donations poured in. I still don't even know what to say, except incredible. So, I figured I'd give y'all a little update to let you know what we made happen.

I was able to get a new tent as mine had taken a beating when we got rain and wind bands from Helene. We got spared, but my poor tent took a beating. I also got a good subzero sleeping bag for the upcoming winter. While I was looking at the tents I remembered T. and T., a young couple that is pretty new out here and are basically huddling outside an abandoned building that is a pretty sketchy place, so I got them a tent like the one I got.

Then I said, "What the hell?" and bought 3 of the next size down. Hahaha. Then I saw there in the camping section of Walmart, a closeout deal on lighting solutions for camping which consisted of a lantern style light, 2 penlight flashlights, 2 small LED flashlights, and 2 regular flashlights. I bought 5 of those. Kept 1 and made the tents a package deal. I gave the last one out yesterday.

Then I went completely selfish and got a real nice battery charger for my phone. I didn't realize how much of a difference it would make in my day to day life. Now I don't have to be tethered to an outlet every single day. Then I stocked up on the gel pens I use most and 2 notebooks of such good quality that I was excited to start writing in them. I'm such a dork.

I then tracked down a young lady I had met a couple of weeks ago to find out if she still wanted to get back home to Oklahoma. She said yes, and that she had some money saved to hopefully get a ticket soon. I told her to save it and we walked to the bus station here and we squared her away. I got a call 2 days later to let me know she has made it and her mom talked to me and after we got finished crying to each other and blowings of noses came to pass, I figured it was the right thing to do.

Then I took most of what was left over to have a little pizza party next to the cemetery. Hahaha. Hey! The neighbors don't complain much! It was a good time with lots of laughs. It felt good to do something so normal, so human.

One more thing came out of the response to my post. For the 1st time in these last 7 years, I didn't spend Halloween all alone somewhere hiding out and all wrapped up in my own pain. I know that that dark cloud is just delayed and that it will be on me soon enough, because the holidays is a brutal time for me and many other homeless people. But for now, I am feeling pretty good about things, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Post was about if we still give to the homeless. They DMd me and second message was about how they're struggling. Third about being really down and out, I blocked them at that point. Pretty disappointing.

To not end on a negative note. My card declinrd a month ago at a gas station where I was getting two slices of pizza and a drink. The cashier let me have it. I will definitely pay it forward.

So if there's a homeless person outside are on the side of the road whatever the case may be do you still help them even tho you know where the money is going to go ???

I went to a garage sale and purchased about four clothing items. I kept thinking about this dress that I really wanted and should’ve grabbed. I found her post on fb and messaged her asking if she still had the dress four hours later and she said she did. I went back to her house and she told me she would cut me a really good deal if I got a bundle. I filled up TWO plastic tubs of clothes and went to pay her. She told me that I could have them for free. On the way home it touched my heart so much I was tearing up. (And I absolutely hate crying) It had been a while since I had (tried) to buy something for myself. I would also like to repay her for her kindness and being something for her to her job. (Small town, my boyfriend’s uncle knows where she works) does anyone have any ideas on what to gift a complete stranger? I have no clue.

So we took our 11 month old daughter to the State Fair on Monday. As we drove up that day (about two hour ride) we figured that Littles would sleep in the car. Well, she did but then got very grumpy about being in a car seat. So we figured “Okay, we’ll go to the hotel first, let her get a good nap and then go to the fair.” Yep, nope. Kid wanted nothing to do with naps, food, or anything else. Crying and fussing and generally being upset. After a while of that, we figured “Heck it, if she’s going to be crying and upset might as well go to the fair. Maybe the sights, sounds and flashing lights will help.” We parked in one of the satellite lots and caught the shuttle bus to the fairgrounds. Littles was okay on that ride. Looking around, kind of taking things in. We get to the fair and she gets grumpy and fussy. As the night goes on she gets worse and worse. At about the two hour mark, we decide enough is enough. We decide to pack it in and call it a day. By this time poor little girl is bordering on inconsolable. Screaming, squirming, and just having a complete come-apart. My wife and I look at each other in stressed desperation and realize we now are facing a (mercifully short) five to seven minute bus ride back to the car. Child is absolutely losing her mind. This was the first time that my wife and I have ever been “those parents” and we were tired and stressed before we ever got on the bus. Once on the bus, our stress was pushed to the near-stroke level.

Cue the kindness - The bus was packed. Those folks who were immediately surrounding us not only didn’t give us grief or stink eye for Littles crying, they were so incredibly understanding and encouraging. At one of the most stressful times in recent memory, total strangers made us feel not like parental failures, but as parents of a kid who was just having a real rough night. It was such a small thing for them to do, but it meant the world to us. Thankfully baby girl finally hit her limit and didn’t quite go to sleep on my wife, but quieted down and the last three minutes or so were in silence. I even heard someone behind us shush their seat mate who was talking and say something to the effect of “She just settled down, don’t you dare wake that baby.”

If anyone out here on Reddit was on that bus and was one of the amazingly kind people, thank you from the bottom of this Dad’s heart. You made a terrible experience a little easier to cope with.

(In case you were curious or worried, we got back to the hotel, put Littles in her pack and play and she crashed hard. She was her chipper self the next morning.)

Hi all! I recently had the amazing opportunity to open a free food stand in Colombia, where I paid for every single person’s meal. It was such a powerful reminder of how small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect in a community. The reactions I received were priceless—people were surprised, grateful, and genuinely touched. It wasn’t just about the food; it was about creating a moment of connection and generosity, reminding us all how much a little kindness can mean.

The day started as a simple idea: set up a small stand, offer free meals, and see what happens. But what unfolded was much more meaningful. Some people hesitated at first, thinking there must be a catch, while others were immediately excited and started telling their friends. I saw people who didn’t know each other sitting down and sharing meals, laughing, and talking. It was incredible how quickly the atmosphere changed—it became less about the food and more about people enjoying a moment of kindness together.

For those interested in doing something similar, I can’t recommend it enough. It doesn’t take much to make a big impact on people’s lives. I filmed the entire day to capture the reactions and emotions, and I’d love for you to check it out and maybe even get inspired to do your own random act of kindness. Whether it’s big or small, every bit helps to make the world a little brighter. If you'd like to watch the video it's here.

I’d also love to hear your stories—what’s the kindest thing you’ve done or experienced? Let’s share some positivity!"

Had a knock at my front door and it's a City of Toledo worker, took me a little by surprise.

Apparently the City had a kids Halloween event this weekend and had extra bales of hay so he asked his boss if he could give them to me. Turns out he lives in the neighborhood and brings his kids to feed my ducks and chickens and I was the first person he thought of.

He had already dropped them off behind my house.

Yes, I gave him eggs.

This happened a couple years ago or so now, but I still think about it every now and then.

So one night, I roll up to grab a mustard grilled double double with chopped chili’s after my Chem lab, and I finally get up to be next in line at the payment window of the drive thru (took a good half hour; typical for In-N-Out here).

I reach for my wallet and have a panic attack; it’s not on me!

I felt like just leaving the drive thru out of oncoming embarrassment having to tell the worker I can’t pay, but I can’t leave the line at this point, so I have no other option but to face it head-on.

I roll up to the window anxious af like “I’m so sorry, but you’re going to have to cancel my order; somehow I left my wallet at home this morning 😅”

The guy didn’t skip a beat or question me about it or anything, he just instantly said something along the lines of “really? It’s made already, would hate to throw it out” and handed it to me.

I was honestly taken a bit aback by this; I was in no way trying to get free food, and I can imagine if his supervisor/manager found out about it, he’d get in trouble, yet he still gave me the food. I said thank you and told him I’d be back.

As soon as I got home and finished eating, I grabbed my wallet and headed back in. Told the cashier what had happened and she just looked at me super surprised and said “😳you came back? ‘George, he came back!’”. The guy came over to the register and thanked me while laughing a bit. Left him a bit of a nice tip (moreso forcefully shoved the bill into his hand). Was a kind of funny situation in the end.

Hi, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I know I want to do something but I’m not sure what. I have a few ideas- leaving laminated postcards with encouraging sayings on them in communal places or lolly sticks with the same or doing a little trail round campus but I can’t nail down an idea.

I want it to be absolutely anonymous which shouldn’t be an issue cos it’s a big uni.

Any ideas? I’d like to brainstorm a bunch and settle on something that makes a difference to a persons day. I can draw quite well and I have craft resources.

Please send suggestions?

Okay, so big news today from Dean. I'm a hockey player. I play 4-5 times a week. The rink where I play is downtown. Today I had a splendid surprise.

I have a friend. This friend is the director of a mission for homeless folks, they serve lunch and dinner every day, and they have limited space for people to live there. The people who live there have to be drug and alcohol free, daily tests. They also have to be in process of improving themselves, like getting jobs, education, all of that sort of thing. I get to my rink tonight and my friend, the director of the mission, and Dean are standing there waiting for me. Dean has now entered their program. He's getting counselling, he's not using, he's going to his job every dang day, and he's looking to just make his life better. He's doing his utmost to improve his life. With the help of the mission where he's living he also contacted his children. Cautiously. He is not forcing anything, he is not expecting anything, but he'd like to try to have a relationship with his children and grandchildren. The mission where he's living helps with family relationships like this. They are actually going to meet, he and his children, in a moderated meeting at the mission. He has a lot of work to do to regain any trust, but he's willing to have this moderated meeting with just his children to start the process.

The goal of this mission in which he's staying is to make sure he's stable, he's working, and he's able to support himself. That's what he's going to present to his kids, and that's how he's going to be presented to his kids by the mission, because they really believe in him and his efforts.

Today Dean sat on our player bench while I played hockey, and I listened to him scream and cheer every time our team did anything right. This began as me wanting to help Dean. This is now me having a friend named Dean. I'm so excited for what the future holds. He's asked me to be part of the meeting with his kids. I look forward to meeting his children, I hope to be able to give them some hope for where their father's life is going. How it might be possible for their children to have a relationship with their grandfather. I've been given his children's names and numbers, and I've reached out to them, telling them about what's upcoming. They heard from the mission, but they were ready to dismiss it. I actually met with them last night very late, they agreed to meet with their dad just to hear him out. It's pretty clear they have hope, but their hope has been dashed many times. I'm not capable of mediating this, so I'm so glad the mission is going to do so.

This could be a beautiful family reunion. I don't know what to think.

I was homeless years ago, and I lived in a homeless shelter. If you live there, you have to wake up early every morning. One day, I wanted to see a relative. It was a chilly day. I was walking down the sidewalk, and I saw an old guy. He bought me a cup of coffee, and he told me about a church where I can get a coat. I'll never forget what he did.

Last week I had a brief encounter with a young lady who had just become homeless due to domestic abuse (the number one reason for women to become homeless is by far domestic violence, often being further abused once homeless).

I gave her almost all my available food, talked to her to calm her fear (maybe terror is a more fitting word) and got her a resource that was able to swoop in and get her out of there.

I got back to my tent and this sub popped up and I thought, "Maybe someone here would like to read about what just happened." So, I put it all down there the way it was and posted my little deal here and pretty much forgot all about it.

The thing is, I do stuff like that all the time. My life is in a holding pattern right now while I wait for a disability decision. So, I sit in what's left of my tent and write. I make a few bucks off my Ko-fi page and there are a few good people who kind of look out for me. So I'm hanging tough.

I decided a few years ago that I wasn't going to try and be a nicer person, but rather that I was going to practice radical kindness. It wasn't good enough for me to pull a help and run, instead I had to make sure that person was safe (as could possibly be), had access to food and water, got hooked up with any resources that fit their situation, etc...

I could start writing about some my "projects" and put a post a day up for a year and still not tell all the stories. I'm not trying to virtue signal or boast, rather just giving a little insight into the person I am. (You know? It's not like being kind to folks came naturally for me. Hahaha. Shit is hard work!!)

If all I have at the time that someone can use is a joke, then I'm ready to tell it! Just what ever I can do to help lighten the load for a fellow human being. I do the things I do without a single passing thought about something good coming back to me. I never think or act like anyone owes me anything for things I've done. If it's a random act of kindness then it is my firm policy to turn down any repayment, even turning down money when I didn't have a nickel to my name. Along these lines, I won't lend money, I will give it to someone in need, but I won't lend it. I want people to know that I put friendship and love above pieces of paper no matter what powers they may hold.

With that in mind.

I was totally unprepared for how the beautiful souls cruising this sub decided to make sure karma hit me.

You guys swamped over to my Ko-fi page, read some more of my works, left me inspiring words, bought my book and just dropped donations. I have been blown away. I don't even know where to begin. So, let me just let y'all know what y'all did for me.

Today, I did something that I haven't done in so long I can't remember when. I bought a pair of pants that I picked out, found just my size, and had never been worn by anyone else (that I know of, at least). Right after putting them on I felt compelled to take a little walk around. Stylin. A friend of mine saw me and asked me if I had lost weight.

I then yelled at him that I just wanted to go for a walk without some dude hitting on me. I am worth much more than a nice pair of pants. Hahaha.

I also bought my camp mate and myself some sausage, egg and cheese biscuits from the Mom and Pops place besides the woods where we camp. There is something that makes breakfast so much tastier when someone else cooks it for you. I don't know, but we both had to pull over from walking down the sidewalk after eating to let our hot hearty meal settle. I wished that I would have had a couple cigars to cap it off, it was so fulfilling. Almost decadent to my current life style.

Tomorrow, I plan to get on a bus to Wally's World of Reasons to Become a Hermit and find a new tent. The one I'm in now was abused by Helene's rain and wind bands. It's a lot like most of our states of mental well being, just holding itself together enough to look like it's normal and not about to cuss out the boss, strip down naked in a McDonalds parking lot, smear strawberry jam all over, and chase a opossum through the woods while singing "I'm Easy Like Sunday Morn" and laughing uncontrollably at the people all mad honking their horns.

Um, was I a little too specific?

This will be the 1st time I will be choosing the tent I like, the one I want to get. I'll stand there and consider the prices, compare floor and ceiling height, window placement, quality, etc... This one will truly be mine. Not just the luck of the draw. I am about as excited as I've been in a long, long, long while.

My deepest and most sincere Thank Yous!!! to everyone who read my works, gave me words of encouragement, or just plain let me know that I was seen.

You folks took one random act of kindness, multiplied that by a thousand, and then returned it!!!!