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In the summer of 2022, our world turned upside down. Sera Jay, my beloved wife, was hospitalized for over a month with acute pancreatitis. We had dinner together every night she was in the hospital. Shortly after, a tumor appeared on her neck, accompanied by a sudden change in her voice. A biopsy confirmed our worst fears: cancer. Since that diagnosis, our lives have been constant hospital visits, ER visits, and difficult news.

I put aside hopes of restarting my career to support Sera. We are currently living off my 401k, but our resources are quickly depleting. Sera and I began radiation five days a week for three months in 2023. In early 2024, a pet scan revealed the devastating news: the cancer had spread, and her diagnosis was now terminal. Despite the diagnosis, Sera wanted to keep working, she worked through 5 rounds of chemo with reduced hours, but her income disqualified her from receiving SSDI support—a benefit she paid into for 25 years of her working life, working as a hair stylist and they make it impossible to use when you need it. We went to the Social Security office multiple times, waiting an average of 3-4 hours each time for answers, but ultimately received no help.

Since then, Sera has endured 12 rounds of chemo, but it’s become life threatening for her to continue. Now, she can only receive immunotherapy, and the cancer is progressing rapidly. This journey has been a heartbreaking and lonely one, especially knowing she can’t access the support she worked so hard to earn.

We are reaching out for help because we cannot do this alone. Every contribution, no matter the size, will make a difference in our lives as we navigate this. Thank you for reading, for caring, and for helping us in any way you can.

With gratitude and love,
Sera and Dan

#CancerAwareness

#CancerSucks

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#HopeForACure

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#fuckcancer

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In my job I drive around a small little town just south of Tulsa Oklahoma a lot. (like a lot a lot) and as I was making a turn into one of my usual stops today, I noticed a little ball of fur in the road. Because I work/live in a small town I am used to lots of roadkill but for some reason today I swung wide, and decided to pull over and check to see. (it initially looked like a fluffy puppy).

Turns out it was a raccoon. Probably adolescent. It had a gash on its forehead, clearly a recent wound. I thought maybe it was dazed after a run in with a vehicle. So I tried to shoo it off the road but when it tried to move it was obvious that that the poor thing couldn't move its back legs... "Ah..." I thought to myself. So I called my boss, hoping for an easy cop out on what to do. "Call animal control, maybe they'll send someone maybe not."

So I called, and to my surprise they said that they would send someone. I didn't really have a lot of time to wait so I drove down the road to my original destination (maybe a 1/4 mile up a neighborhood road) I did what routine work was required of me (maybe 15 minutes) and started making my way back up the road to my next stop.

The raccoon was still there ears flinching with each passing car. So I pulled over, and waited. All the time trying to get up the nerve to do what was right on my own. I checked for the right kind of gloves (I assumed it would try to bite, I mean, wouldn't you? Even if you knew? Especially so young?) I didn't have what I needed, or what I did have was covered in shit (I work in waste water). So I sat there, and just waited. Hoping the city employee really was on their way. I wish I had gotten closer. I wish I had offered a gentle touch or a kind word.

It only took another 10 minutes. In turned a truck, burly guy rolled the window down and asked "Is it dead?" "No." I said "Well it will be soon." before I could get more out. "Thank you for coming out." my quick reply.

I put my truck in drive and headed off. I said what I think was a prayer as I drove away, to Mother earth, "ease its passing, thank you for it's gift of life and thank you for mine. Sorry it was so short."

This really hit close to home for me. A friend of mine passed a few years back. She fell out of her wheelchair at home. It took hours and hours for someone to find her, how long exactly I am not sure. Its a harsh truth to face, that no one was there. How scared, and lonely she must have been, death on its way in a truck labeled "Code Enforcement".

I'm glad I waited. I would like to believe that if that city employee hadn't shown up I would have gotten up the guts to be able to do it myself. And I hope that wherever they are, if anywhere, that its more peaceful than the world that they left behind.

“The report sparked an outpouring of support – from offers of help with the English language and training to jobs and meals at restaurants.”

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/stateless-unemployed-youth-who-has-never-gone-to-school-lands-job-offer

If I have an opportunity to tip a woman for something, either a waitress, or any tipped service, I'm leaving a $47 dollar tip. I hope she wins. Not really political, but just some solidarity for women at a time when I think it's important

I believe that talking about ourselves helps us to heal and improve our lives -- and love ourselves.

I would like to start a group where we practice listening to each other in the most nurturing and powerful way possible. I need feedback, so I created a short, 2 minute survey PLUS Everyone Who takes the Survey will be entered in a drawing for $50, $25, $10, $5 Amazon Gift Cards!  (USA only, please.)

https://forms.gle/PbmmrWJKvvuxG4yVA

I would be grateful for your feedback.  Thanks!

This is the third year in a row I’ve done this. We’re starting to get a reputation. I’m pretty sure I heard a kid exclaim “We have to go here, this is the best house in the neighborhood!” I loved seeing and hearing the kids’ reactions. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that. Many mistakenly called them king-sized bars; I guess compared to the mini ones they look pretty big. There’s nothing better than seeing a kid’s eyes bug out when you give them a full-size Snickers or M&Ms. We had well over 200 trick or treaters this year and I still had to give some kids the backup candy. I’ll make sure to be prepared next year for at least 250. I’ve decided to leave work an hour early next year, to have more time for taking my own kids trick or treating and to get back home in time to catch more of the younger trick or treaters.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year. Last year, Halloween came just a few weeks after my world was shattered and I was just trying to take it one day at a time. I’ve been slowly glueing and taping it back together this past year. My life is still not great but it’s a lot better than where I was and getting better as time goes on. Giving out full-size bars is honestly one of the highlights of my year, I just love seeing how happy it makes the kids. I also don’t mind the teenagers, I’d guesstimate about half of my trick or treaters were 13+. Childhood is so short, I’m more than OK with letting them try to hold onto it a little longer. My own kids are growing so quickly, I’m afraid to blink.

I’ll update you next year with my new numbers. Until then, be kind to one another and treat yourself to the full-size bar every once in awhile.

I went to get my passport and bonded with the woman who was helping me. We chatted about the place in India where she grew up and was surprised I knew of the region; a beloved coworker was from there and told me about it.

We talked about family, food, nostalgia, and even wept over the recent losses of our mothers. This morning she texted me to meet up so she could share the breakfast she made for her family. I was so incredibly touched by her kindness I felt I should share this experience. The food was so delicious!

My sons 8th birthday is 27th October. I am just trying to see A. Who shares the same birthday as him B. How many strangers will wish him a happy birthday.

Thank you all.

I’ve been obsessed with the concept of kindness since I was a little girl bc my last name is Kind & in elementary school when they hammer into you to be kind I thought it was so cool that it’s built in for me 😅

One thing some people have always loved about me and other people are utterly confounded by is that when something terrible happens I immediately look for a silver lining. I’m just not good at suffering so I have to find the good. Even when my husband passed in 2023 I immediately said “Thank goodness it was fast and in my arms so he wasn’t alone and he was comforted” and “Well ok I’m a widow now but we had the best marriage I’ve ever seen so it’s still a blessing.”

Anyway this means they when I came across this idea of ominous positivity I was absolutely enchanted with it. It’s much more optimistic too than when I lose my patience and I’m not so kind and want to snap “You’ll be fine STFU.”

From now on it’s “Everything will be ok it’s inevitable.”