I asked out a girl recently and got rejected. I was very sad at first but then I was at peace with it. But I still can't get fully over her. Any help or suggestions?

I have tried so hard to be a better student than I've been. I keep falling into hurdles. I want to give up. I just want to not have to wait in anticipation to keep getting rejected.

A huge part of me is tired from the stress and anxiety. I used to feel so free and now I'm just chained to the idea that I need to get into a good school and get a degree which another part of me also really wants.

I lost myself in this process.

I have never intentionally flirted with him or given him any signals I like him. The reason why I blame myself is because I'm an outgoing person and at work we have a close knit team where banter is almost constant. I take part in the banter often. The other day he said he wants to talk to me in private later, so I've avoided him since. I feel bad about stopping the banter between him and I, and he keeps trying to bring it back up, but I'm scared he will take it the wrong way. When I don't engage with him, he gives me the extreme cold shoulder but whenever I even look at him, he does some huge action to make me laugh... Which I don't anymore.

I can't help but to feel guilty about the whole situation. Im scared Ive led him on now.

I guess I'll explain my situation. For the past couple months I have been talking to my crush. I told her flat out that I liked her as soon as we started talking. We went on our first "date" about a week after I told her that I had feelings for her. It was really awkward and went really bad and afterwards she told me she couldn't see us being anything more than friends. That obviously hurt and we didn't really talk for a week. After that week, she texted me and asked how things were. Since that day we talked every day for hours at a time. She told me that I was amazing and that she's never felt like this with any person before. The subject of our "relationship status" got brought up again and she said she was confused because she originally didn't feel anything for me and now she doesn't know. I guess I took that exactly how she stated it but all my friends told me I was over thinking and she defiantly liked me. She would ask to FaceTime me quite often and we would stay up really late talking to each other. Sometimes it felt like we were flirting with each other and I guess I got ahead of myself. Last Thursday we were talking and this got brought up again. She said that part of her wants to just remain friends but another part of her wants to look into something more. The next day I asked if we could talk about this in person. When we talked I asked her if she actually felt anything or if she was just saying that to try and not hurt my feelings. She ended up telling me that she couldn't see us being anything more than friends. I felt terrible because of that. After we had our conversation I went down to the park by my house and my mom told me to come home. I told her that I wanted to be alone and she threatened to punish me if I didn't come home and talk to her. I went home and they forced me to talk and they gave me the life sucks speech and told me that I need to stop making a big deal about this. The thing is i've been rejected before and this felt a lot more like a break up. I had super strong feelings for this girl for months and she knew that I did and continued to initiate conversations with me and ask to FaceTime me and so I thought we had something and I guess we didn't. I guess my frustration built up and I texted her yesterday to ask her if she actually valued our friendship or if she was just saying that because that's what you're supposed to say when you reject someone. She told me that she cares about me and that she's always felt that she could be herself around me and said it hurt her to tell me that she didn't want to be in a relationship. This made me feel worse because I put her in this position where she had to choose and now I've hurt her and I've hurt myself and my parents are forcing me to be fake and I don't know what to do. I would consider her one of my best friends but now I'm scared to death that I've ruined that and I'm so mad at myself for ever sharing my feelings. I've tried to get over it and I guess it only happened 3 days ago but I'm not feeling any better. I just don't know what to do.

I've been in love with my bff forever. At a certain time I couldn't hold it and I told her how I feel. She were nice and all she stood by me and everything. They she started to vanish... From talking to her all the time it's just like once a day or sth now we don't even talk anymore. The thing is I'm still down for her but what really hurts me is losing her as my bff. Ik this might be a classic rejection but she was everything I have. Now I have nothing.

So me and this guy have been texting back and forth for a few weeks. We made plans to go on a date together for last week but due to some personally issues I rescheduled for this week.

He seemed very sweet and nice through text.

There were a few things I noticed through text that were a bit annoying but I didn’t want to judge too quickly.

Well we had our date and it was awful.

He kept slurring his words so it was very hard to understand him. He kept saying thing or asking me the stupidest questions as if I lived under a rock.

We had gone to get food at first and the entire time he was talking with his mouth open and then after wards we had gone to see a movie. He continuously talked throughout the movie about things completely irrelevant to the movie itself.

After the movie we had both gone to the restroom and for whatever reason he left that area and went outside without telling me knowing my phone was dead.

He knew before the movie that my mom would be picking me up after the movie and when I told him I had to go he seemed to be upset.

At the end of the day I knew we did not click and it just overall wasn’t at all what I expected.

He’s already texted me since then asking how it was and I’m scared to turn him down. I did not enjoy myself at all and I don’t think I could go on another date with him but I don’t know how to turn him down without hurting his feelings.

This is the first time I’ve been on a date or anything close in 3 years and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Please help me.

To begin with I'm from Costa Rica and I've been studying English for the last year so I hope I perform well.

I met a girl a year a ago, we're going to call her F to make it easier. This girl was amazing at the moment I met her and I was really into her. We began to talk from time to time because we we're taking classes together . There was another guy in the class who was also interested in her but was ok he was very awkward and intense so I thought he wouldn't get so far with that girl.

We went out a couple of times and it was great we spend together the whole evening talking and laughing, we have very good chemistry and interested in common so we didn't have problems to make our relation stronger.

To my surprise and the surprise of everyone the awkward guy manage to be in a relation with her. I was totally devasted by that because she came to me and told me that she was in a relationship with him even though I was trying the same with her... And she knew that ... It's was a very hard punch to me and my pride but I didn't take it so bad I wish her the best of the lucks in her new relationship and took some space between me and her.

During that time I Focus on my self and my studies, I'm no the kind of guy who's always looking for girls to have fun, if it happens with someone ok cool and if don't it's cool too. My last relationship was two years ago and since that I've been single because I'm not usually looking for girls to have fun.

They didn't last long so when the broke up she began to text me and talk to me. She came looking for me and because she is the type of girl I'm into I received her ... We began to talk and talk often and better than before, sharing memes and pictures of us. The relation between us felt stronger that before so I thought that she was into me... She understood the crappy choice she make and now she's trying to find something real with me... That was I thought....

We began to date and talk about feeling and for sometime it was great! I won't forget the first day i kiss her it's was magical ...

But as our relationship become stronger she began to change... Now she was distant and absent, I'm badly overthinker so I began to ask myself what could be wrong... What happen between us ? What make her change in that way.

She also told me that the more she spend with me the more she became what I want her to be ( my girlfriend ) but sometimes she makes me feel that everything is going well and we're making it to the goal but other times she makes me question myself if is worth it to keep trying.

We're talked about it recently and what she said is that she's just living the moment, she's not thinking in what could happen between us in the future. I've told her how much I love her and how much I want her in my life and she also told me how much she cares about me but she's not thinking in what could be in the future.

She told me something that had me thinking for a while and it's " you have that expectation of us as a couple very clear but not that much as a friend "

It's clear for me now that she only wants a friend to hang out and it's ok but what should I do? If what I feel for her is so intense ... should I walk away again and let her be or should I stay ? And if I stay how you could be friend with the one you love ? How I can hide this feelings in order to not feel pain when she's been absent.

So there’s this really hot girl in my school called Matilda and she rejected me when I gave her a note with a green jolly rancher and 2 starbursts. She said that she had a boyfriend, I take it as ‘f*** you, ugly ahole, fata!

Ok so I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I've liked this guy for a year, and he liked me for a short while. We used to chat a lot and we were friends. Well,every one kept shipping us so we unwillingly drifted apart. Six weeks ago I confessed to him. He left me on 'idk.' this is irl so I still see him everyday. The thing is, it's been six weeks and I still haven't let go of him. I miss him so much. I Miss when we would chat and have fun together. But I know I need to let go. Ack, I just felt like venting so thanks if you read all this.

k so, I'm pretty damn conditioned to rejection, I've gotten it for 5 years straight with no successful stories. Anyway, I met this one chick (M) and we had quite the click with eachother. Humor, music, interests and we could probably talk all day and not get bored of eachother. M starts getting a bit closer with me, making moves herself, cuddling up with me, taking my hand on walks and shit. I was thinking "Oh damn, I'm finally getting somewhere" and plus, I liked her too, so I had no issues with where we were headed. After a week and a half of thinging, I decided to ask her if she wanted to make us official. Her response was "I'm scared something bad will happen because I don't want to hurt you. I know it's a bit early, but I would go as far to say I love you." She then asked for a little bit of time to think and that we could make things work out after a week or so. No problem, I can wait a little bit. During her thinking period I started noticing some weird shit, like a contact on her snapchat under the name "My Baby ❤️❤️❤️❤️" and it sure as hell wasn't me. I didn't think too much of it at first, my first thought was it's probably an inside joke between one of her chick friends or something. Well today she tells me that's she's sorry but she doesn't think it's a good idea to be with eachother. Now it's hitting me, she's probably screwing around with someone else during the time she was making the moves on me, and fuck did she play me good. I don't think anyone's toyed with me like that before and my god was that a punch in the gut plus some.

So everyday i saw this girl in the bus for like 4month. At the beginning i didn't notice her. After a while i realized she is looking at me all the time and undeliberately i started to look her too. I caught her looking at me like 45 times everday. So 2 days ago i decided to talk to her. I talked to her and i learned her name and, we talked about university and about other stuff like 2-3minutes. Then i said "can i get your number to keep in touch?". She said "its unnecessary". I thought "ok she might felt weird and uncomfortable" Then i left. So i saw her today. I went to her and said "sorry if i disturbed you last time by asking for your number". She said its ok. We had a another small talk and then i said "at least give me your surname so i can find u on internet and we can communicate". She fucking said "you are trying so hard". Then she left the bus before her stop by saying "see ya". Fuck me in the asss You were the one who looking at me and now i want to get to know you better and you are being rude. What the fuck is her problem help me should i keep talking her or never look at her again?

This is a long story so I’m going to do my best to include the important details while trying to make it as short as possible. Basically, two years ago I wrote a love letter signed by anonymous to my male best friend at the time as a joke. Which I then immediately regretted after delivering it, because I, being stupid and shy, didn’t know how to say it was a joke without him thinking I had a crush on him. Then, three days later, he had discovered that I was the one who wrote it because of how bad I was at acting. The conversation went like this:

“I know who wrote the love letter.”

“Really? Who?”

“You.”

“No.”

Then cue me proceeding to just walk away. Making it very obvious that I had written it, leaving him with the idea that I had a crush on him. By this time, if I had told him it was a joke he would have never believed me. So, we just kind of stopped talking because I was so embarrassed until he wrote me a letter saying how he wanted us to be friends again. So, we eventually started talking again and all is well until next year. At that time, a new kid moved to my school and we had become immediate best friends, making me realize that I liked hanging out with her better than him, which I feel so guilty about since I eventually stopped hanging out with him after that. Then, a few months later I actually start to develop a crush on him. Now, at the worst of times. And since I know he doesn’t like me, I’m experiencing the heart break now. My heart longs for him, and maybe I’ll be better if I could at least be friends him. But now, even though I know it could happen, it would be spoiled by his other “friends.” He has been best friends with this other guy since birth, and they’ve stuck together. The friendship has been working out for him the past few years, but now his friend has been picking up other friends and ignoring him. It’s lately been more of a “talk-with-a-bunch-of-people-while-one-guy-just-kinda-follows” friendship. But he won’t leave, since they have been friends for so long and he feels obligated to stick by his side no matter what. And I know for a fact that his friend doesn’t like me, so he’ll always try to separate me and him if we become friends again. I know his friendship is toxic, but I don’t know how to convince him to leave while also becoming his friend again. It might look like I just want him for myself, making everything worse. And as time goes on, the heart break is just getting worse as I realize more and more that I may never even get to be friends with him again, and he might be stuck with his crappy friend for several years if he doesn’t do anything. I’m stuck, and I may have to accept this reality, but I just want to tell people this story that I can’t tell anyone else except strangers. I don’t help if you don’t want to, but maybe just someone to listen would be great. Thank you.

Recently, I was rejected by a guy I really liked. Perfect mix of cute and handsome, athletic, good sense of humor, you get the idea. I am kind of depressed and emotionally unstable. One day, my friend told me he was moving away. The next day it was confirmed by him when I asked. Finally, I decided to suck it up and confess. I tried this 3 times because he never really gave me a clear answer. Then he moved away. On his last day, I stuck a note with my name on it in his backpack. All it said was that I liked him. In case he thought it was a joke. He came to visit a few weeks ago and I couldn't look at him. I'm just sad and unsure what to do now. I think I maybe like someone else, but I'm not really sure. Please advise.

I confessed to my crush. He said the attraction is there and we have similar interests, but our personalities clash. He said he likes me, but he doesn’t like me. What does that even mean? Anyway, anybody have tips on how to get over someone and move on? He said, we would be better as friends and he felt like I was too closed off. I asked him if he would reconsider and he said it would be impossible to answer that because he wouldn’t know what kind of person he would be pursuing. I have decided to keep being his friend and to just be myself. Is there even a point to keep pursuing this relationship?

I'd known a girl for about three years, we spoke loads and we'd hung out a couple of times. I told her yesterday that I liked her. She told me that she'd thought of me like that before, but wanted time to think it through with her life. Today she told me that she isn't ready. Idk, I guess I just want to know what to do now and whether or not to hope that she changes her mind.

My crush (F15) rejected me 2 weeks ago...

It still hurts but I (M15) keep getting reassured that it’s fine. My friends kept telling me that she seemed really happy around me and so I wrote a note with a multiple choice question, “I like you, do you like me back?”. She said no it but she wasn’t a jerk about it or anything.

Later I was told that she didn’t like me for 2 reasons

1. She just didn’t like me which her best friend thought was because of reason #2

2. Her parents are very traditional and was scared what her parents would say if she started dating a guy at her age

What should I do, should I just leave it or should I try again later?

Hey guys. I asked my friend of 14 years after going to the fair today. It was a fun and great day. I had told her I had a crushed on her weeks ago but she caught the hint. I finally told her today that I do but she smiled and had a two hour talk and in the end she became really protective in how our friendship is too important and wouldn’t want to lose it and be afraid to “hurt me”. She’s a Christian girl and is super nice but our conversations always have “buts” and “ifs” in it as this. Thinking of the worst and what may occur than happiness and a positive outcome. In the end I asked her, “what do you feel?” She replied with, “I don’t feel about you the way you feel about me. I don’t want to lose our friendship. If you don’t want to talk to me then I understand. If you want to take time from talking to me I understand. I just dont want to hurt you from all people. I know how it feels liking someone and not getting back everything you expect and I dont want it happening to you. I established this line where I will have you as my friend forever so I can have you forever than lose you in a relationship” It basically went along these lines. I told her that I saved my friendship for so long until I can finally mature and be ready. She would be super happy when we would go out. Be super cheesy and smile. Show much happiness and affection. She isn’t seeing anyone. I went through something difficult recently and stated that focusing on me has been good and all she wanted more recently is to open to her more which I did. I saw her lips and smile and Im not angry. Im sad as I felt it was perfect after taking her to the county fair. It wasn’t what I expected at all. So now what. I feel weird and a bit down by it.

Any YouTube videos AT all? Or online videos in general? I'm having a hard time trying to find them. They would be so helpful right now! There's a ton of how-to videos on confidence, self love, seduction, etc, etc, but NO videos on dealing with low self-esteem or depression caused by constant rejection?

Really?

I'm sick and tired of wondering why or feeling like I'm never good enough!

Thank you in advance for your responses!

ETA: No incel or femcel videos, plz!

Hello. I'll keep this short and to the point. I was at a school football game with some friends, and I accidentally blurted out that I liked someone. Anyways, later on, we called him on my friend's phone. And it didn't work out... I need some help on how to get over it, because i really, really liked him, we where best friends too...

I haven’t been rejected yet but I probably will be. I just sent a message to this girl that I have feelings for and I’m waiting for the reply. I have like a 5% chance of success.

Edit: Mission failed, we’ll get them next time

This girl use to be my boss, we worked well together and became very close. What drew me to her was the fact that she inspired me to be a better person both personally and professionally, I think of her before I do almost anything. She has helped me so much and I have been there for her though alot of shit. Shit that would stop a normal person in their tracks but not her, She is an alpha after all. But long story short I've been dealing with it and just keeping my mouth shut as I watched her continue to be pursued and hurt by other men. This past weekend I basically helped her home from the bar and was told to send up this guy who was with us, I did as I was told, that sucked. But that was enough of a kick in the ass for me to be honest for my own peace of mind, or so I thought. So the next night i went over there it was just us on the couch watching TV and I chickened out, nothing new for me. The next day I woke up feeling like shit about to leave out of state for 2 weeks and I was beating myself up about it, so I called my sister and my father and my best friend(m) and they all said the same thing, "Joe you need to do this for you". So I texted her and asked I could come over before I left she said yes, I headed over and we began talking like normal. I had to be out the door by 3 so naturally I waited until 2:45 to say anything, heres how it went. I said so not to add to your endless pile of bullshit but as you know I've been struggling these last few weeks and I need to be honest with you one of the reasons why is because even though you are my best friend I have feeling for you. She looked shocked we both laughed and she said "I feel blindsided" so many times i can still hear it. And we didn't get too much into it passed that other than her asking if I was going to be weird now and me making a joke about her ghosting me. Then I had to leave for Virginia. And even since I have been quite and not myself, I've been rejected before but not by someone of her caliber she is everything I've ever wanted and I am heart broken knowing it will not happen. I thought I was supposed to feel better saying something but so far this is much much worse. Also sorry for the long post but this is the first place I've opened up about this, I just dont think I can talk about this out loud yet, saying her name hurts. Thank you for reading and if your hurting right now, I love you and I'm with you!

This is a repost I've made in many other subs, but I want as much perspective as possible. You probably won't have to read the whole thing here but I do need two questions answered:

1. How do I deal with the possible rejection if I tell him before we're done working together--avoid making us both uncomfortable, staying friends, keeping myself from letting all the rejection-emotions well back up when I see him, etc
2. If I wait until we won't be seeing each other regularly anymore, how can I prepare myself for that potential rejection?

Please don't tell me to acknowledge all possibilities unless it's in a particularly unique way because that has never worked for me. the little hopeful voice inside me hates me apparently bc it never shuts up no matter how much I want it to.

Here's the original post, I do request that you read it, but I guess it's not entirely necessary:

---

You can look at some of my previous posts if you want more context--

I really like this guy I at my work (we are camp counselors) but I'd been nervous the past few days that he's flirting with this other counselor (who already has a boyfriend, which he knows). My friend (also works with us) who I tend to think is better at reading people (and also an outside perspective is generally more accurate) said no he probably doesn't like her, they barely talk, and his flirtiness is just his personality--

Flirtiness being talking to her and smiling at her a lot, laughing with her, and then today specifically, he was being pretty touchy with her, i.e. hand on her shoulder, arm around her shoulders very playfully.

My friend said he does that stuff to her a bit too but I was like-- well he doesn't do any of that to me at all. She said not to worry about it and I trusted her judgement more than my own so I felt a lot better.

At the end of today a couple of the counselors (including me) and our assistant director (who is his sister, she's 23) were talking about some stuff and it came up that he and this girl are always talking, a lot (according to one of the other counselors). I was a little confused since my friend said they didn't but then the assistant director (his sister) was like "yeah (guy) was like hmm (the girl he was flirting with)" and she was like "she has a bf", and his response was "not for long"

None of us have known each other for longer than 4 weeks but for me feelings get too intense too fast. I don't know how it is for him but I'm really hoping it's a superficial 'like'. I also talked to the asst. director (his sister) about it bc she's easy to talk to and super nice and I feel like she would generally give good advice but especially here. I was worried it would be weird for her but she was fine with it. She said he's "emotionally stunted" (jokingly, I think) and that he doesn't usually o the way she tries to guide him but she said "I'll see what I can do".

My plan originally was to tell him how I feel at the end of next week bc that's most likely the last time we'll be working together so it would avoid any future awkwardness if he rejects me, but now I'm not sure. Should I go through with it? Should I say something sooner?

Side note: we were co-counselors last session (last two weeks of July) but now he works with the older groups and I'm with the younger groups so the schedules are completely opposite and I barely get to see him/flirt with him (not that I'm any good at that). The girl he has been flirting with shares a similar schedule and gets to be around him all day.

TL;DR: was planning to tell the guy I like at work how I feel at the end of next week, found out he likes one of our other co-workers today; should I still tell him next Friday? Should I say something sooner? How to prepare myself for the potential rejection?

so I've been talking to this guy for almost a month, we texted and chat with each other (he's 23 and I'm 21)

to make the story short, our first date wasn't that great so i decided to try again, hoping it would get better but it didn't. I wasn't able to tell him personally because he kept on talking about himself and all.

so i texted him this.

"sorry for not replying earlier. I just want to be honest and transparent with you. I want to thank you for your interest and time. I enjoyed the talks and all of that, but Yesterday, I realized things... you are an interesting person to be with but i noticed that our personality and interest are way different and I'm pretty specific regarding those stuff. I don't think its a good idea for me to be dating you and to lead you on more. I really hope you won't misinterpret my honesty."

[edited]

if some of u are curious why i did it through text, well... its for my safety, i didn't want to do it personally because I've experienced violent reaction when it comes to turning down guys. So don't even think for a second that its selfish to put your safety first.

And, yes, I know- Their ghosting is representative of their unactualized self, thus far, anyway, and they stray away from an objective-based mindset when they don't articulate what they really wish for between us like adults should. It shows they're not ready to be earnest about their feelings, which is important in selfdevelopment and realization.
And, yes, I know that I need to take this in stride somehow. But, like, holy crap, God? Really??? 4 people ghosted me within the last week or less, and it's fucking NOT okay lmao. Why's it not okay? Because I'm a human fucking being who has needs. I don't make the rules. I need to self-reinvent harder, but not certain as to how

I had this crush on this girl for nearly all of school. She was kind, sweet, confident, and even liked anime. I decided to ask her out on the last day of school, but I became to nervous to give her the note I wrote for her. So, one of my friends took the note and handed it to her. I got so embarrassed that I ran off. I later found out that she didn’t like me the same way I liked her. That sort of pushed the weight off my chest. But then came the gun shot. My crush told me, “In the end, you knew I was gonna rejected you anyway.” The hole in my heart just became bigger. How should I get over my crush and her words?

Edit: I later found out she was already dating, so, rip me.

I asked her over text if I could be like her bf and like that and then she said that she only feels like friends and why tf did I do that.