/r/OneY
A place to thoughtfully discuss issues that affect men of the world today. Everyone is welcome but intolerance is not.
A place to thoughtfully discuss issues that affect men of the world today. Everyone is welcome but intolerance is not.
Posts are moderated for content according to the following guidelines (hit report on violations):
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Grace: No tactless posts generalising gender or gendered groups. We are a welcoming community. Rights of all genders are supported here and broad generalizations [including about feminism or the men's rights movement] will not be tolerated.
Relevance:
Submit content that is directly relevant to our experiences as men, for men, or about men and masculinity.
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Avoid low effort images or tabloid content
Avoid medical questions that are best answered by a doctor.
Related subreddits |
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/r/AskMen |
/r/Daddit |
/r/TrollYChromosome |
/r/malelifestyle |
/r/OneY
(It's a repost)
So...It all started a few years ago when I was 19 and met this incredible girl, we went out for a few dates, fell in love for a few months, than I had to move to another city and so did she. We kinda lost contact for all this time, but we both moved back to our home town and we started to see each other again. It was going great, the same love, same thrills, same dumb feelings, I even got along great with her 2 kids who seemed to really love me after just 3 months. The thing is, she told me she used to have a Privacy (Brazilian OnlyFans) account and used to sell a lot of content there.
It's hard to describe, I am not the jealous type of guy, I'm not even possessive at all. But I am very much against sex work, I feel like it takes away from both ends of the transaction and any sort of sex work is akin to prostitution in my view, still is selling your body for money to strangers, it doesn't matter if they get to touch you or not. But again, those are my values and I don't want to impose them on anyone, it's just my own opinion.
I asked her to delete the account and she did, but a few days ago she told me something that really bottered me "If I ever get desperate for money again I'll reopen the account". Now...I got up and left her appartment. She won't stop texting and calling me since! I feel disgusted, I feel sick, I feel completely lost. This is the woman I've fallen in love twice, the woman I thought I was going to grow old together. I love her so deeply, so profoundly that it hurts to be in this situation. I really don't know If I can deal with this, is not that she used to sell porn, is that she still thinks it's a viable option! That made me so insecure that she might cheat, or reopen the account without telling me it's making me phisically sick!
She's the most kind, sweet, strong and caring woman I've ever met, but I don't think I can deal with that! I need advice reddit. I can't express this enough, I have 0 issues with what she used to do before we got together again, it's her pass, we all have one...my issue is that selling porn is still somehow part of her plans. Now before anyone gets the wrong idea, I never shamed her, called her names, yelled or anything, I just left!
I'm struggling with insecurity in my long-distance relationship. My girlfriend has two close guy friends, which makes me uncomfortable. I barely know them, and it's hard for me to understand their dynamic.
She assured me, 'You should trust me,' but it's challenging. One guy apparently has a crush on another girl, while the other has an obsession. Despite her reassurances, I'm uneasy about their closeness.
As someone who prefers exclusive relationships without platonic friendships with the opposite sex, this situation bothers me. I've cut off female friendships since committing to her.
My friends say I'm 'good-looking and could pull any girl,' but I'm fixated solely on my girlfriend. Still, her frequent hangouts with these guys irritate me.
Am I just insecure, or are my concerns valid?"
I aplogize in advance if this is the wrong thing to post it in this sub Reddit but I really not sure where to ask this since I have no one to approach this Issue to.
. I got exposed to porn way too young when I was still a child and since then I started masturbating not knowing the consequences, the way masturbate is by rubbing to the foreskin near the penis. I also have developed the tight foreskin and the tip of my penis is very painful upon contact. As of I'm writing today, I'm 16 yrs old
I did my own research and it might be "philmosis" but the sources I found didn't mention much about the tip of the penis pain so I'm not quite sure whether to trust the sources.
My purpose of asking this question here is to at least gain some awareness or get general advice is it was whether something I should worry about since sources say "it will go away by 18 yrs old ".
Think of it like an authentic support system for mental wellbeing, where you can work with experienced guides who understand men's unique challenges and perspectives. We're aiming to create something approachable and positive that helps men thrive.
We're at the naming stage and would really value your input. While we welcome all perspectives, we're particularly interested in feedback from men as they're the target audience.
We'd love your feedback in this survey on our names: https://forms.gle/UTR8ErmAat5TwCVh8
We plan to raffle off a $100 amazon gift card as a thank you.
Thank you soooo much for your help here, we really want to build something authentic and helpful and getting your feedback is incredibly valuable.
Note: Mods, I chatted with you but this is my first time posting here - please let me know if you need any additional information or us to make any changes here.
Hey!
We are a research team representing PPKE, and we are currently conducting a study about Incel identity. We would like to ask for you to participate in it, if you identify as an Incel!
Here's the link to the survey, which takes approximately 10 minutes.
What the study is about:
What the study is NOT about:
We realise this is not a sub for Incels, but maybe some people who identify as such can help us with the data collection.
Thank you for your contribution!
Does this resonate with anyone else? I've been going through an extended period of low mood and through it all I've realised that a big part of the problem has been that I've taken everything in on myself without any kind of outlet, because I've felt so alone. At times it's felt like I've been in some kind of simulation because I'm so obviously unwell but there is just no response from people around me
Anyone else feel like this?
A few days ago, I started having very minor penile discharge. During the day, the tip of my penis is a little damp. Looks like clear fluid that I thought maybe was just leftover urine. But every morning when I wake up, I notice a little discharge hanging on the tip of my penis. There's no smell or anything. Sometimes it's clear but sometimes a little white like it's semen. But it can't be from an arousal because I masturbate daily and never had this issue before where there is discharge when I wake up. Like I said, this just started happening a few days ago.
I was scared this might be an STD, so I ran to an urgent care to get tested. They tested for all the common STDs- syphilis, hepatitis C, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B and trichomonas. Everything came back negative.
So if I don't have an STD, I don't know what this discharge could be caused from. I don't have any pain or discomfort when I urinate or masturbate. It's just this discharge that is leaking out from my penis. I don't know what to do. I don't know if need to run back to urgent care and ask for them to take more extensive tests.
Does anyone know what this could be and if this is a cause for alarm?
Hello everyone, I’m working on an AI app that helps people identify and track food intolerances using just a photo of your meal and a 20-second video selfie to monitor your body's physiological reactions. It’s designed to detect potential allergens/intolerances and predict reactions and alert you before they happen.I’d love to hear from you:
Thanks so much, and I’m excited to hear your thoughts!
I recently separated from my longtime partner. Currently I feel broken and I am grieving. I have a lower sex drive and she had a higher sex drive, and there were many times I had sex with her when I didn't want to.
When I am ready to get back out there, what should I do? How should I approach it? What helped you after a break up?
TL;DR!: Possibly due to my cultural upbringing, I can't bring myself to show or feel the same love towards male friends than I feel for my female friends, even though I value their friendship highly. Can I really say, then, that I platonically love women if I can't do the same with men?
Hello!
This has been on my mind lately. Let me provide you a little bit of context.
I'm a middle aged man (41), long term single (xDD). Over the years, I've had the good fortune to form several sets of mixed genre friend groups (sorry, English is not my native language, bear with me). Mostly all of my friends are couples. I consider that I have a healthy number of friends, many of which are close and which I value greatly in my life, both male and female.
The way I've been educated -my social upbringing- has always promoted emotional walls for myself and in my relations with everyone else. Perhaps a little bit of that is also my own character, I don't want to avoid blame. Over the past 5-10 years I've learnt to remove those barriers and (over?)share my feelings with my friends, with my coworkers, and with my cats. I've learned to show gratitude and love towards my friends, to open myself. That is, to my female friends. I no longer have any trouble sharing everything with the women in my life. I welcome it, in fact. And I also make sure to tell them how important they are in my life as friends, that I love them (platonically). With some of them we are comfortable enough to be physically affectionate towards each other, while still firmly remaining in the platonic side.
And yet, I just can't bring myself to do the same thing with my male friends. Like maximum cringe feeling even just thinking about it. And I'm quite sure they would feel the same were they on the receiving end of that. Or I believe that, at least. Because I've never actually talked to them about it, another symptom of the same problem. The men in my life are very important to me, and they make my life all the better for their presence in it. They're as important as my female friends are. So, it's not a matter of me not valuing friendships with men. But I've never built emotional connections with them the same way that I've done with women. We never talk about emotions, or rarely. And never in a deep exploratory level. I have fun with my male friends, and we mostly talk and do things related to our common hobbies or about work topics - the safe male topics. Meanwhile, with my female friends, I don't even need to have a shared hobby to feel that I want to hang out with them.
I know all of this rationally, but I'm incapable of solving that. To overcome my sense of shame and cringe at daring to tell them any of this. To tell them that I love them, or that they they're very important in my life. To be affectionate with them. I just can't. Well, I know I can, it's just this mental block.
Finally, I also don't feel that, as important as my male friends are, I love them the same way that I love my female friends.
Given all of this...Can I really say that I platonically love my female friends? If it's platonic, then the genre shouldn't matter at all, right? The fact that I can only love my female friends in this deep way kinda taints the usage of the word "platonic". And to further complicate matters, could it also be the fact that I'm single that makes me feel this way? That I'm over-tuned to loving my female friends because I may lack this day to day intimacy, that I don't seek with my male friends? Could it be that when I say "platonic" I'm just deluding myself and I'm unknowingly a little bit just below the romantic threshold. I think I'm being honest with myself, but heck if I know. I'm great at deluding myself. I want to believe that I can build platonic friendships with women.
I'm really interested in knowing your opinion and your experience as men, but of course, women are also welcome to answer too :)
In another subreddit where I posted it (but was removed by rules), a person answered to me that this is pretty common, and that I should work on removing my mental block by going to therapy, which I actually agree. I was thinking of that while writing this post.
Y'all remember when you were 19 and you were gonna go on a 2 week trip and all you had to pack was a small duffle or even a backpack with a couple shirts, maybe extra pants/shorts, a handful of socks and undies and a toothbrush? And that's basically it. You're good for 7-14 days.
I'm packing a bag right now and realizing I have to bring:
My prescriptions for anxiety and PTSD, ibuprofen for random aches, multivitamin, zinc supplement, glucosamine, fish oil pills, hyaluronic acid serum, SPF 30 moisturizer, pre-workout powder and shaker bottle, and probably 10 other things I'm forgetting to pack.
Oh well. At least the clothing requirements haven't changed much.
Hi,
We're reaching out from a collaborative research team led by David Rowland, Ph.D., Senior Research Professor, Valparaiso University, Valparaiso IN USA.
We are seeking men who experience rapid ejaculation or who reach orgasm more quickly than desired to participate in our survey.
Link to survey: https://cwru.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_e4GAZ0o7rbMGZ7w?srcid=rd8
The survey duration varies based on your responses, but it typically takes about 10 to 15 minutes to complete
Why is this important?
Our study seeks not only to shed light on the complexities of PE but also to pave the way for more nuanced diagnostic tools and personalized treatment options, enhancing sexual well-being and quality of life for those affected.
Your responses will be anonymous. This project has been reviewed and approved by the Institutional Review Board of Valparaiso University in the USA. Thank you for your time and candid responses to this survey. We appreciate your interest and help.
Note: This is a repost from 4 months ago
Any experiences you'd like to share? Awareness? I'm curious about making it work medium-long term if its achievable except I want kids in a few years and idk if my older partner would, hypothetically, so that seems like an eventual issue.
First of all, sorry is there are some grammar mistakes in the text. English is not my main.
I post this here because im looking for men similar experiences.
By the way, I'm a 31 Male, athletic and goof self esteem and normally good sucess with girls.
I've not sure what's the cause of feeling this way and i have a lot of feelings toward this.
I really (really) like my girlfriend and is like i would feel i need to be constantly sexually looked for her to feel everything is ok and she likes me too. I need sexual validation?
This is causing a big problem in my relationship, because she feels forced to do sexual things towards me or i start to feel frustrated, not wanted, etc.
Is not a dead bedroom because 90% of times we have sex at least 1 time a week. Normally 1-2 per week. She initiate sometimes.
This problem is disturbing me too because she always told me she has a high sex drive but i think i'm really killling it because of my problem and neediness. I'm 90% sure a lot of times she doesn't iniciate because she is worried about i feel bad for not wanting to end the sexual intercourse, me misunderstanding things, etc
To be "Literal" when we started to meet we had a lot of sex and diferents kinks (normally induced by me) but when the typical "New relationship energy" started to dissapear and things started to be more stable with less sex i started to feel bad if we don't have sex or anything related to sex mostly daily. I'm pretty sure is not a "Different sex drive" problem is more related to me being uncapable of not having sex for some days without feeling awful.
To add more info, there is no problem with the "Act of sex". Is more for the feeling of being constatly seeked by her. If i would be able of have sex with other girls i wouldn't feeling better because i just want to be wanted by her.
I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed by this (So do her) and don't know what to do. I've talked about this with her a lot of time and she is wonderful girlfriend and always give me reassurance; but i can provoke her to desire me if i am a very needy guy.
I used to be very kinky and she has done some of them with me but i'm starting to give up with this because i feel i am ALWAYS thinking, talking, seeking about sex. She tells me i'm wrong but i'm pretty sure she is overwhelmed but doesn't tell me because things would go worse and doesn't want to hurt me.
Any person who had a similar experiencie? Any recommendation about anything, books, whatever?
Thanks in advance
My current friend base is almost entirely women, as has been the case for many periods throughout my life.
I have seen things that have made me really uneasy with what they deem acceptable.
I have been at sleepovers where they literally have kissing competitions with each other, have admitted to flashing random people, and a number of times where I have been entrusted with knowing about a one-night-stand all while they had a boyfriend.
I witnessed as they convinced themselves it was not cheating and that it didn't cross a line, all while their girlfriends supported them.
The times I would speak to the male perspective, even in times I was eagerly asked for my exclusively male perspective on it, I was ostracized for taking the dissenting opinion.
In these friend groups and when my ex was flirting with everyone under the sun, I was called a misogynist, sexist, prude, and incel for saying that it was not loyal, respectful, or okay.
After my ex emotionally cheated on me, broke up with me, and immediately moved on to the guy she had emotionally cheated on me with, I lost nearly every friend in the group because they thought they had a shot with her (many of them literally asked her out).
The few friends I had left pointed out that what she did to me was wrong and that I was blatantly disrespected and quite possibly emotionally abused. I have been working on self improvement since, with the hopes to have myself be the best man possible for the right woman.
In truth, I have always been a huge sucker for love. I have always known that if I had one person who cared about me and wanted to be with me that is the only connection I would ever need. That would make me feel complete and warm and whole.
As I'm slowly working on myself and seeing all of the casual infidelity around me, I am growing less and less interested in pursuing a relationship and even less and less of a believer in love.
There seem to be so few people who feel the same way I do about love anymore, if any. I have been bullied, manipulated, mistreated, literally spat on, kicked, told to show up to dates that never existed, have had YouTube videos posted of women pranking me into believing they wanted to date me, tripped, punched in the face, and pranked into believing a group of guys wanted to be friends with me. Through all of that, I still believed in love and the goodness of people.
I can't believe that anymore. I've seen it trampled too many times. I've been trampled too many times.
I see now the truth of it all is that the only one who can ever love you is you. The only person you can trust is yourself. The only person to commit to is yourself.
There is no such thing as unconditionally loving someone. At least not anymore. Disloyalty is the new norm, and I'm not about it. The only unconditional love that can be had is from yourself.
I have my weak points still. Times I wish and remember when I had someone to hold tenderly, work day and night for, love completely, kiss passionately, cuddle warmly, etc.
But lately, I look around, and those moments pass. I can't trust giving my heart to anyone other than myself. I can't trust befriending anyone but myself. I am alone in this world and I have to make the best of it, because it is the only thing I have.
So I found out that the Y chromosome is slowly going away, and it makes me fear that men wont be here one day and or humanity will fall because of it. Some radical feminists are celebrating this and its kind of making me feel worthless, as if we don't matter.
My dad's family still owns most of the farms in their town from previous men's business acumen as well as several banks and a handful of hardware stores.
They still have a letter from the Secretary of War thanking my great grandfather and great grandmother for their sons' exemplary valorous service during the war.
My grandmother has so many family medals from WW2, the Vietnam War, and the Korean War she literally just keeps them in a hat box because she doesn't know what else to do with them.
My great great grandmother allegedly met my great great grandfather (a cavalry officer) after he let his troops against a tribe of Native Americans and saved her from death.
My mom's family has a small village with their last name in their home country. Allegedly there were a number of warriors that donned that name early in the region's history.
The family has friends in their home country that still send regards because of the number of connections and relationships the bankers in the past had established.
There is an old newspaper article of the police having to be called out because the number of women that flocked to see my great uncle (one of the actors) overwhelmed the hotel he was staying at.
I could go on. It's ridiculous.
You'd think with all of that competence and capability in my family I wouldn't be a disappointment.
I have a decent job, decent looks, I dress pretty well, smell pretty good, am decently strong, can fight and shoot and survive in the wild, am regarded as above average intelligence, and lead a handful of groups in my job. Most of the stereotypical "manly" things. That is not what's lacking.
I have no confidence. I can fake confidence, but it comes off as weird. This lack of confidence makes me overly stiff to friends or potential friends and creepy or weird to potential partners. My ex flirted with other men during the relationship and I didn't leave her after telling her it made me uncomfortable and she did nothing. I didn't have the confidence and self respect to enforce my own boundaries.
All of those generations of men beaming with confidence and capability, what went wrong with me? Why am I such a limp noodle? How do I fix this?
Tl;dr: Paragraphs 1-8 are just examples of why I look so pathetic compared to my ancestors. The rest is me going on about how I am doing okay when it comes to the traditionally masculine attributes and pointing out that my issue is confidence and self image. I'm asking for help figuring out how to fix this.
(Im currently in secondary school/middle school or equivalent)
Hey everyone,
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Thank you :)
hello, im using a throwaway to post this but im wondering if this might be a medical issue. so, I've tried googling my problem but all that comes up is lasting long in bed… i normally only last a few seconds if that
(im very sensitive due to my autism and other issues so this might just be related to that)
the problem is when I cum, it takes really long to come out, like I have the build up and the orgasm and everything a normal guy would have but it just forms a little bead then finally all comes out really quickly, so if I’m not in my wife I end up basically in a puddle.
I have about two and a half inches erect and I'm on the heavier side of things when it comes to weight, I also have very watery looking clear sperm, I don't know if that any of that stuff matters or if that's why this is happening. Is this normal?
I (27M) have a partner and they think it is gross that I don't wipe after I pee and I have never done that ever in my life nor have I ever been told to do that, so I'm trying to gauge who do.
Why doesn't my dad want a relationship with me?
So I (20f) have never really had a relationship with my dad because he was never present in my life, he lived with my mom and I here and there like 12 years ago but that's it. He has sons, my half brothers who I've recently met and that's been wonderful. He keeps in contact with them, but has never once tried to reach out or find me in about 12 years. My grandma and aunts and brothers are all so ecstatic to have found me again, but why not him. For context, my dad had my older half brother A, with his lady, then must've cheated or something on her with my mom, then had me. The thing is, A's younger brother L and I are only 1 month apart, meaning our dad was promiscuous and had sex with our respective mothers 1 month apart which as you can see caused drama. I just wonder why he doesn't want to know me, his only daughter
I just got fucking kicked by my classmate up my groin and the pain last not that long but now i have a nit higher than the other one. I feel no pain at all rn but please help.
All the following questions are linked to the one above:
What are you striving for in order for your life to be fulfilling?
What are you looking for?
I must know your secrets.
I must know how you all go through life free of all itchiness in the jewels. For you see, my jewels too come with a secret..........................
Lean in closer and they will tell you their plight.
I (m36) am a single father. And I am extremely bothered by jokes about how incompetent Dads are. Don't know their children's clothing sizes. Don't know what bus their child is supposed to be on. Totally reliant on their wives to keep track of everything child related.
It bugs the crap out of me. I know my daughter's clothing sizes. I know her schedule. I keep track of everything. I'm tired of other Dads talking to me and cracking jokes about being a Dad and being reliant on their wives. They expect me to relate as a fellow father and be part of some shitty dad club and it's supposed to be funny.
It's not funny. Be a better Dad. Be present in your child's life. Stop relying on women to do everything. I honestly don't know how women put up with this shit from their partners.
Sorry, a bit of a rant here. But I hate this. It really bothers me. Normalize fathers who actively participate in their children's lives.