Do you think you can help me know my gender?

Hi there, I'm a little very embarrassed to write this really, but I need a little help with this topic (tips maybe, I'm really very confused)

First of all, I feel very safe talking about this topic around here, and talking about it with my close ones is not beneficial to me since they surely take me for crazy and I only want to have answers about a crucial part of my identity as a person

Since I was a teenager I have always felt strange. Very strange with respect to my gender, although I didnt take it very seriously since I thought it was something temporary. I'm an AFAB person (I don't know if the terminology is well used in this context and if they are not able to correct me since I'm not very informed (╥ω╥)) but for a few years I feel that my gender is something that I can't understand, yet.

many times I feel that as a person I am connected to femininity, and I know that I am a girl but many times (MANY) I feel a little different from what it is to be a girl. Sometimes I feel like a very feminine boy (I have a somewhat androgynous appearance) and many others, I feel that I am nothing specific, I never fluctuate between masculine genders, and I stay more with the genders associated with femininity o gender-neutral. I know I'm a girl, I love being one, but I don't really feel like a cisgender girl, it goes beyond that and I'm always connected to femininity.

I really feel like a girl who's not a girl

I have previously tried many definitions such as genderfluid or agender, but none have been able to represent me correctly, and I am in an internal debate with myself without knowing what to do.

I hope you can help me with this huge mess I have, I could really use some suggestions and I hope I have expressed myself correctly, despite not being sure if what I said can summarize or not my feelings regarding my gender.

If you have read this entire post so long, I hope you have a good dayafternoon or night, please I hope you are well and thank you very much for reading me, take care ☆ *:... o (≧ ▽ ≦) o...: * ☆

So ive recently figured out that i am indeed genderfluid but i dont want to use the he him she her and they them pronouns But i also dont want to make new pronouns are there any pronouns that are more common but not to common

hi! ive been meaning to find a new name that suits me more than my birth name, which i kind of have a negative history with and affiliation to. I was looking into something with a nature theme like willow or ivy, but i also want a star/moon inspired name too. preferably something that can be greek too because my greek roots are very important to me. as for the label part, im not sure where i really stand on gender identity, ive been questioning for years and its been rocky to say the least. when i used all pronouns, people used she/they, when i used she/they, they started only using she. I kinda got sick of trying, not to mention my family largely disapproves of this stuff and are very judgmental and homo/transphobic. my siblings know im bi, but i recently started identifying as a lesbian in terms of sexuality and im even afraid to say that to them, especially since i can tell they still judge me for being queer. id appreciate any advice and name suggestions!

So I kinda want every part of both sexes; Vagina, Breasts, Penis, etc. I want to present and look feminine, though.... I guess I want to be a woman but I also kinda want a dick too..... I don't understand. Do I just have some kind of.... Fetish? (idk if I'm allowed to say stuff like that on here but I really am desperately curious and I just want some kind of answer or guidance at least). I don't feel aroused by the thought of having everything all at once, I just feel like it'd be the most comfortable, maybe it's just me thinking that it'd be the most convenient for intimacy because I can have the best of both worlds? There are so many possibilities as to why I feel this way but none of them are any easier to decide than the others! I'm so confused!!!!!

(Sorry for the rant/vent or whatever this is)

I've always called myself transgender because well... I'm not cis. I don't identify with the gender i was assigned with at birth. But I don't really know for sure what the hell i am. I've said non-binary for a while but I'm not sure that fits me. I don't lack gender i feel like every gender. I feel like a man and a woman, but not like gender fluid, it's not on certain days i feel like a man and on other days i feel like a woman. I feel like every gender like all the time and i have no idea what to call that.

Yesterday I found myself almost pressing enter at the google search "how to know you're trans", before realizing that if I have to google that, the question is already answered.

I'll try to keep this short because I could go on and on. Two main points about me being a trans girl are that I have this femininity inherent to me, and that I deny it (in my head, denying it means it's true). Three main points about me not being trans are: I still feel connected to masculinity, masculine names I've given myself, and in every sexual fantasy I have I'm a man (I'm gay).

So it feels weird, because being any more masculine or more feminine than I am right now requires performance. I wanted a big stretched septum piercing to look like the leather daddies I've seen, that was on purpose. But when I dance it's like there's nothing masculine within me.

I've called it genderfluid (because wondering if I'm a trans girl comes in episodes) just to get myself to stop thinking about it, because I don't want to be trans, because of my transmisogyny I guess. But the feminine things I feel drawn to are things I want to be, and the masculine things I'm drawn to are things I want to be and that I'm attracted to. It feels like I'm only a man because I like men.

I'll stop here. There is more but this is getting long.

I'm AFAB, use she/her (they/them are ok-ish) I like being female, but being call girl or woman feels weird, like I am one but I don't feel the word is right to me, I like dressing with feminine clothes but not that feminine, like I like wearing dresses but I still use leggings underneath and don't like using them that often (I hated the school when I wore skirt daily) I usually wear clothes that are kinda more masculine (and some times I would like to crossdress), I would like my hair to be shorter (but not that short x)

And I don't know if this is relevant but in online games when someone calls me he I sometimes say nothing (kinda feel the need 'cause I'm female but I think that's the only reason) the first times it happened I told them but then I stopped doing it :v also sometimes when talking about myself when I say a gendered word I use the male version (my first language is Spanish so there are a lot, and some only charge a letter), sometimes by mistake

I found the label azurgirl (but I don't fully understand the definition and can't find something that explains it more easily) I think it fits but I don't know :v

Idk what to donor who I am sometimes. I’m an amab femboy he/him pronouns that seems to switch between boy-mode and girl-mode all the time. I dont think of myself as enby, cos I’m def binary, either boy or girl, never in between, even though I enjoy girl clothes and acting girls even when I’m in boy-mode.

I know labels don’t matter, but it’s hard trying to explain myself to ppl when I don’t know what to call myself at all. Higender, genderfluid, demiboy (that’s usually boy/other right, not boy/girl). I’m sorta wish I was trans, at least ppl understand that, poorly.

Don’t know if anyone can help me with this. But needed to say something t.

so… i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this in real life anymore and i’m too embarrassed to talk about seriously, but for awhile now i had this issue…. i don't want to say i'm trans(though i bring it up because it’s the only thing like this i know of that’s related to gender) personally because i don't mind aligning with my assigned gender, even though i do enjoy and feel validation by strangers who have thought i was a boy and dressing like a boy too, i also like being feminine with about as much as the same enjoyment... my only issue is my sex, i guess. i always hated my body, but i especially hated it as it grew into becoming more mature. it isn't just the gross way it looks, it's the way it feels on me, it feels heavy and unnatural in ways that other parts of my body don’t feel, but when i ask other cis girls they say that they either love that part of their body or that they want it to be bigger? i don't know what's wrong with me because i'm sure this isn't about being trans but the only people i felt comfortable opening up basically just don’t understand what i’m talking about and the only solution they give me is to basically just accept it and move on. the thing is, i genuinely don't think i can do that i used to refuse to wear bras while growing up because it felt like admitting to myself that i was "grown women" and no longer the more ambiguous “child” but also because it forced me to look at my developing breasts. it stopped when my parents got tired of it and begged me to wear one, and ever since then it was the reverse. i sleep with my braw on now because i hate the idea of my breasts being visible underneath my clothes, and even touching my clothes(i KNOW this is irrational but i can’t help it). i wear jackets on most days for the same reason. i hate my hips for, again, the same reason, and always try to wear baggier pants. despite all of these i still really like wearing dresses and being at least visually feminine. i... seriously don't understand myself in the slightest and it makes me kind of anxious. also, sorry if this is worded poorly! i don’t mean to sound rude or insensitive, but tell me if i was. this is basically just a long winded rant.

This might be an unpopular opinion so don’t be rude about it please.

Im kind of in a love-hate relationship with the concept of gender neutral bathrooms, I would more like the concept of having all bathrooms. Not all women feel safe/comfortable, to share a public bathroom with men and so is the same with men not being comfortable with sharing one bathroom with women. I think having genderneutral bathrooms is okay and sometimes super great (for non binary people for example), but you still have to include the other "gendered" bathrooms which is totally valid. And also I would much rather like society to be a bit more respectful towards trans* people so trans* people don't have to be scared to go in the gendered bathroom of their gender.

(I'm asking this on my main account in good faith.)
I know that gender is a social construct involving expression and identity...but, like.....How specifically? Like I just see "things considered feminine/masculine". What does that mean other than girls are "supposed to be" submissive and stuff but that's a pretty outdated belief where I live. Or another one is that women are nurturing.... but that doesn't make a man that's nurturing a woman. What makes a man and what makes a woman, ETC? There doesn't seem to be much of a difference? Trans people, what are you transitioning to (Obviously a different gender, but what is that to you)?

Disclaimer: I'm sorry if this comes off as rude. I just legitimately don't get it, and I hope that maybe by asking on here I can read someone's explanation that makes sense because this is confusing the heck out of me.

I hate being gendered…I’m a college kid and we’re all young but when some of my girl friends say “you’re such a man” it annoys me. Friends of friends just say little stuff that makes me feel like I’m seen as a man and not a person

I believe there are three genders She/ her they/them him/he But I know it can be a mix of the three whether it’s she/they or she/they/him. I’m she/her but understand that you don’t feel the same every day, my question is are there more and why they exist?

Hello, I recently started looking into different gender identities, because while I’m afab I don’t feel really like a woman. It’s not that I’m experiencing gender dysphoria, I just don’t strongly identify with the female gender. But I have generally used she/her pronouns and present myself either feminine or androgynous because of my agab. I just feel like have no specific gender, but not really nonbinary. To give an example of the kind of feeling I get, it’s like someone asked me “do you want fries or nuggets?”, I don’t really care which one and just roll with whatever I’m given. I feel like I could be a man, woman or something in between with the current gender idea I have in my head and it wouldn’t change much. I’m just wondering if anyone has any idea if there is a general identity I could fit under (I know labels aren’t important but it makes me feel as though I understand myself better). Thanks!

For a while, I've identified as non-binary, but im questioning again. I'm afab, and I don't really feel strongly about my body most of the time, but I sometimes want to have the male parts. I think i would like to experience having them. I think I would like to be a feminine man, and I like using male terms for myself, but I also like using female terms. I barely get any experience using pronouns, so i dont really know what i prefer. I'm not opposed to she/her tho. I feel content as a girl, but i also feel uncontent. Sometimes I wish I was born a man so I could feminize myself. I'm questioning if I'm even non-binary.

It’s so frustrating because I don’t even know if I’m trans. Like obviously cis people don’t imagine themselves as being a guy, they don’t fantasise abt it, they don’t make sure no one knows they aren’t a ‘real’ guy. My entire online persona is being a cis man . I pray to god no one figures it out. I hate calling people for the first time because my voice is a dead giveaway that irl, I’m a girl. Anyway. I dunno if I actually am or if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking I’m trans just bc I have an online persona.

I rarely ever get dysphoria. But when I do it’s intense. I don’t have an urge to have any form of surgery or go on T or anything like that. I just simply wish I looked different. But I don’t. And I can’t fix that so I just live with it. I tolerate my body.

I get very jealous whenevee I see my friends who are trans, they are transmen. And they look so masculine without even having to try. They were blessed by the gods to have such beautifully masculine faces. But I don’t. You wouldn’t think I’m a man just by looking at me. My face is soft and feminine, not saying cis guys can’t have feminine faces but ykwim.

I know I can’t fix my face. So I just live with it. I tolerate it. I don’t necessarily want to change anything abt my body. I don’t want to have a flat chest. Sure it would make shirts look better on me but that’s all.

So idk. It’s not fair that my friend who’s only figured out he’s trans for the last few months is so accepting of himself, he knows who he is. And I’m so happy for him, truly I am. It’s just that I’ve been struggling for years. Ive attempted talking and getting advice from other trans people, hoping to find someone who feels like I do. But no one does. No one struggles the way I do. Or they say ‘you don’t have to figure it out now’, and I hate that advice so much because it’s genuinely useless. It doesn’t help me. It makes me feel even worse and alienated from the entire community. ‘Oh no one can help you bc it’s too intense, but you’ll get there one day’ is what I hear everytime someone says that.

The worst part is, even when I thought I was comfortable with myself months ago, I still couldn’t even say that I’m trans. Bc I do not think I am. I’ve doubted myself for ages. I’ve tried going to my friends but they just say ‘oh well ur a man to me’, thanks but that isn’t as helpful as you think.

I’ve having trouble with my gender identity for a while now, I feel uncomfortable with my assigned gender and would prefer to be the other one sometimes, and mostly I also prefer no gender. so far I prefer he/they pronouns, but I can also tolerate feminine pronouns and sometimes prefer them over he/they.

So basically I'm AFAB and I have no idea what I am. I'd feel better as a nonbinary person but I don't mind being a girl. It's weird. Does anyone else feel like this?

Im afab, but i dont want a gendered body whether it be female or male but also at the same time i want to be both a man and a woman. My family is extremely transphobic which might also play a part in this. I cant stand being without a binder and periods make me mentally uncomfortable.

like title says, im afab.

Basically, i feel FTM, but i'll only be comfortable with a masculine name, he/him pronouns, and being seen as a guy if i transition. Currently, i feel genderless, or agender.

So i'm genderless, but want to be a guy, cuz i feel like one, but i dont want to actually use a masc name, pronouns, or be seen and known as a guy unless i actually "transition".

Like a masc name idea ive decided is Charlie or Charles, and i feel like Charlie/Charles, but i feel a bit uncomfortable with it. I think its because now i just see myself as a girl with a masc name and pronouns, not a guy. And while i do feel like a guy, i wouldnt be comfortable calling myself one unless i transition.

if that makes sense. bye now xx feel free to ask questions.

edit: nvm guys<3

I'm afab and I identify as a Cis lesbian woman. As of right now I hate being called a woman. She/her pronouns don't bug me. They are what they are. But I hate being so feminine in just my facial features. I wish my chest could be changed; not gone forever. Just... changed. I have a pretty feminine name and I cant stand it. It doesn't feel like it should be mine.

And though I think it'd be objectively easier to be a man in this society, I don't actually want to be one. But I don't really feel connected to womanhood either? Up til now I've mostly blamed that on birth control eliminating my period and the fact that I'm not attracted to men at all. Maybe that's why I can't relate?

I dress more masculine anyway. I want to want to be feminine but everytime I wear a dress or makeup that's anything more than eyeliner I feel like an imposter (dramatic?)

I think I fall somewhere on the nonbinary scale of things. But I'm just curious if anyone on here has had similar experiences. Or if there's a micro label that sounds like it fits, I'd like to look into it.

Hi so I m19 have been questioning my gender for a little bit and have decided to just come ask for some help. So for a long time I’ve always felt not right and don’t know why and I’ve always kinda had the urge to wear more feminine clothes and basically act and be feminine. Some days I’ll wake up to see my thing and just feel wrong. So I’m just asking for advice and your opinions on the situation and any comments would be appreciated.

(22) I was raised very feminine. Due to traumas I've gained💪🏻 from being a hyperfeminine empathic minor I started seeing these feminine traits as a weakness. Now im in a point in life where I feel like a man, basically. I'm a bartender who learnt stocks (someone said to me "woah, youre in a lot of manly fields!" and it got stuck w me) I feel like my body language is sometimes masculine, I treat feminine women like a gentlemen too, not like one of their girl-friends. I have masculine hobbies, mostly male friends, I feel like a monsterrrr in the gymm when im doing hands it makes me feel so strong and dangerous so I cosplayed Sukuna and shit... all the characters that I turned into alter egos are men, I have a "manly" taste in music and so on. I still have a massive glass celling sadly tho. Because of my cute appearance, fashion sense and makeup skills nobody sees what I feel, some just say im a dommy mommy or some shit like that. I hate the submissive way most women in my country act due to HEAVY patriarchy and my ideal self is always some leader guy I appreciate. feminine energy just doesnt help me and men looking for a feminine traits girl feels fucked up for me. I know all these gender things as an imaginary concept... but man it still bugs me. help and validation please?

My name is Courtney and I'm an afab fourteen year old. Recently, I've been exploring the endless depth of gender and cannot seem to discover what fits. I'm autistic so I thought finding a xenogender was what would work, but I was wrong. I feel feminine half of the time, and male half the time in a visual way. Sometimes I feel transmasc and sometimes i feel agender, then sometimes I feel just nothing of those but still something I haven't quite found. Any suggestions?

I’m a woman afab (24).

Sometimes I’m perfectly content with myself and can ignore my problems. But then for months at a time I’ll hate my chest so much I wish I could just hack it off. Looking at guys who can wear those boxy shirts and they go straight flat makes me feel so weirdly upset. I wear sports bras but it doesn’t help enough. I also hate not wearing a bra cos I can feel my chest and it grossed me out.

I also wish I could be seen in the same way that feminine men are. Like I want to dress feminine in the way a guy would, not like a woman would (nothing against that) but I don’t know where to even look. Like men wearing jewellery versus woman wearing jewellery?? I sometimes wish Id just been a feminine looking guy. I sometimes wish I could be viewed as a guy in a relationship (sexuality is a whole other kettle of fish). Like that masculine side but still soft? I feel clunky how I am now. Which isn’t a new feeling.

But other times I’m perfectly happy. I don’t mind how I identify. But I hate how I see myself? I don’t know if that makes sense. I’ve had these thoughts for over 10 years and I’m scared they’ll just never change. I don’t know if these issues stem from other issues (previous ED issues, anxieties, etc). But yeah just wanted to rant as I’ve never said this stuff out loud before.

I filled out the form about gender. And I still have no idea. Like what am I? I used to consider myself male but most people look at me and see a woman despite the fact that my chest is completely flat. Personally I'm fine with my appearance, but when I think of how others perceive me, I am not happy with it. Im very spiritual and I believe my soul is genderless. However with my body, it's a bit more complicated. I am both male and female at this point. And it's reflected in how over the phone I get called sir most of the time, but when im seen in person I get called ma'am. If I think about how I identify body wise, I can't figure it out. I used to be a man, I no longer feel comfortable with that label. I also used to be a woman, I no longer feel comfortable with that label. But why? I used to be comfortable with both at different times. Im extremely adverse to sharing my assigned gender with anyone, but I do it sometimes begrudgingly. Synopsis My soul is genderless and sexless My body is perceived as neutral most of the time aside from when it's not My face is perceived as female most of the time aside from when it's not My voice is considered male most of the time aside from when it's not Sometimes my brain considers me male and sometimes my brain considers me female. Usually my sense of self is determined by what others think. When I consider myself either, I will experience distress when being misgendered I am adverse to sharing my assigned gender My brain doesn't know what I am I have thought bigender, apothigender, genderfluid, agender, and even binary trans for a while

I know that this is going to be confusing so ask any questions if you need

So I have identified as so many things that I don't know if I will ever hit it spot on. The first was trans, then enby, then genderfluid, then trans, then demiboy, then bigender, then trans, then genderfluid and transmasc, and now... I don't really know. Sometimes I feel so masculine that I just want to be a cis guy, but sometimes I hear the word "girl", and it just fits. It's not genderfluid, that just doesn't feel right. I just sometimes feel like I'm comfy in being a girl, but sometimes I just don't feel that. Sorry if this was confusing, I'll probably repost this on the gender subreddit too.

The attitude that "muscles = masculinity" annoys me. I am a man who prefer muscular women. In my opinion, men who have a problem with muscular women have a problem with their masculinity because they have a too big ego (also known as toxic masculinity). I am fighting (even though the fitness lifestyle is not my own lifestyle and I don't go to a gym myself) for a bridge between the fitness lifestyle and the non-fitness lifestyle and for more respect for women in the fitness sector.

That's my opinion on that. Now I have a few questions for you on this topic, and I want to know your objective opinion on them:

What is masculine about muscles but not feminine? Why should muscles only fit male proportions but not female ones (please note the general different proportions between men and women)? If muscular women are masculine, are non-muscular men feminine? Why does female bodybuilding exist (if muscular women were male, there would be no need for female bodybuilding, because then male bodybuilding would be sufficient because every bodybuilder could participate in it)?

So I’m female but there are days where I want to be fully masculine and absolutely hate how I don’t look masculine. There are also days where I just don’t feel feminine or masculine at all. I’m super confused and don’t know how to label what I’m feeling.