I'v read and heard that men behave differently around other men compared to being in the presence of women. Especially if they're in men's only spaces or establishments

have you personally observed this phenomenon?

Share your insights

I know I'm genderfluid, but there was one time I felt like a guy. That had never happened before as I usually just alternated between fem and agender. I always act feminine, so I just felt like a femboy. At least I think. I don't know what's going on and its been 2 weeks and it hasn't happened again.

Okay.

So.

I'm a girl. A 13 year old teenager to be exact. So I obviously don't know much about genders and blah blah blah. However, I'm struggling with a crisis here and I really need help.

I hate being called a lady. I hate fitting genderstereotypical women things. I hate wearing dresses because it reminds me of stereotypes of women. I hate it. I want to be more masculine, do more things men do. But I also want to stay as a girl.

What does this mean and what do I do???

When I was little, I didn’t like being a girl. I felt like the clothes weren’t comfortable, life was harder and I was told I can’t do any of the stuff I was interested in because I’m a girl. I dreams of being a footballer, firefighter or a soldier and was told it’s all for boys. I also felt like it was so unfair and inconvenient to have a vagina instead of penis, as a boy you can pee anywhere. I liked to imagine what it would be like to be a boy, comb my hair back, wear shorts under trousers to pretend I’m wearing boxers etc.

Growing up I hated wearing skirts and dresses, heels and any ‘girly clothes’. I kept forcing myself and trying to appear more feminine because I wanted to be perceived attractive. I was always attracted to men and women and identified as bi and dated both genders.

Some time in my late twenties I started realising that what I really hate about being a woman, is how society treats us. I started being more ok with being a girl, stopped forcing myself to wear clothes I didn’t like. I have long hair and present feminine but never wear heels, skirts or dresses and often were man clothes. I am a feminist and outspoken about oppression of women in the society.

Lately I’ve started being more attuned to my feelings and made a lot of discoveries about myself. I was diagnosed autistic and after years of being gaslit about many things I started listening to my body and my brain and rediscovering who I really am after years of trying to fit in to what was expected of me. Naturally, the gender question popped up again.

When I think about being a woman and what I dislike about it I realise that I wouldn’t hate it as much if we lived in an equal, inclusive society. Everything in the world was designed for man so naturally it is nicer being a man. The clothes I like to wear or the hobbies I have can be perceived more masculine but if the world wasn’t the way it is, I could be an engineer or a scientist and play football and not be considered weird for it.

When I think about being a man, I no longer feel the way I used to as a kid. This might sounds weird and unfair but when I look at how men are, I feel proud to be a woman. And on the flip side, I think I would feel quite ashamed to be associated with the gender that is responsible for so much horrible shit in the world. I know there’s good men in the world and being a man doesn’t automatically make you a bad person but I can’t help but feel this way.

So if we take out all that, does it boil down to your body anatomy? I would much more prefer to have a penis than a vagina but that can’t be all.

I heard someone suggesting this ‘test’: if you were on a desert island what gender would you like to be? I would definitely choose a man but it can’t be a simple as that, can it?

I wonder if maybe I didn’t have a strong preference for male genitals if I didn’t from very early childhood feel like they make your life easier.

I am more confused than I have ever been about my gender identity and I welcome any all advice. Feel free to recommend books, resources etc or share your thoughts and experiences if you feel comfortable to. Thank you.

Hiii So I’m just very much confused right now I want to be a boy but at the same time I want to be a girl, and it’s kinda making me upset because I can’t decided so plz help 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️

I (F22) am actually content with my gender, but I have an undeniable draw towards flamboyantly presented men, especially in fiction. I love their style, I love the way they talk and look etc. I usually don’t gravitate towards female characters like that though I have some I really like, but I never like them to the extent I love these types of male characters. I get obsessed with them and it’s a blur between loving them and wanting to be them. But…why is that? I’m female, have a very feminine and I like my name and I don’t mind my female anatomy, but if I could become someone akin to those characters, it would feel …right, you know? I don’t feel like I was meant to be a man, but I would love to look like those guys. I am genuinely curious about how you see it, whether it’s common or not and why you think that is. Maybe I just feel drawn to gender ambiguity, and those types of male characters embody that perfectly?

I’m quite confused because I heard there are more than two genders. I’m confused because I heard about pro noun called xim and that there more than that. I thought it was just she and he

Is it normal for gender fluid people like myself to feel conflict between my feminine and masculine sides? I would prefer to feel peaceful and whole with myself but I find it hard when I feel a connection with my more masculine side ( the way I was born genetically and how I identified until about 2 years ago) and also feel that I’m disconnected with my more feminine side like I’m living a lie When I sometimes feel hyper feminine. Does anyone have any advice?

Hello, I'm Matrix/Trix/Axelle/Axie (any of those names). I use He/She/Xe/Wing/Fluff/Blush + Any lace themed/angel themed neopronouns. And just as the title says, I am able to help others if needed. Don't be afraid to tag me or tell me how you feel under this post and I'll try to give you some labels to help figure out who you exactly are if you'd like (at least gender wise considering this is a subreddit just about gender). I am currently possibly hyperfixated on queer identities so lol. it sounds weird I know but..yeah! may not always answer right away but I still love helping others so go right ahead!

Things I will not be doing:

• Finding anything breaking this subreddit or outside reddit rules. (this includes sexuality as this is a subreddit aimed to help with gender only!)
• Finding NSFW terms.
• Finding xenogender related terms revolving around g0re, d0lls, and/or c4nnibalism as all of those make me uncomfortable !!

— Disclaimer: I do not always get notified of getting tagged, so I prefer if it would be better to comment under this post for me to help instead to make it easier. I also can't assure you that I will always be able to find the exact label for you so please don't be angry and/or upset with me if I am unable to do so.

Idk if this is the right sub for this but here goes. I’m feeling confused because I’m still perfectly fine with being seen as/presenting as a girl, which is my agab, but I hate having a female body. I just find it really uncomfortably, yet I’m still fine with she/her pronouns or being called “miss”. Is there a label for that, or am I just nuts?

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What are some good subreddits to join? Thanks

I have felt outfit euphoria like damn I look good in this outfit, but I don't think I have ever felt damn I feel great as this gender. I'm 31 and AFAB currently identiting as gender fluid but tbh I'm not sure anymore.

My first thought when I see those idiotic J.K. Rowling tweets

I'm pretty sure I'm trans however I doubt myself every so often because being a female sounds so hot like free booba lol I think that's my only reason though. Anyone have a second opinions/similar experience?

idk if i’m allowed to share genders i made on here but i’ll give it a go incase anyone else feels this way. also if this is already like exactly similar to another gender please let me know. i looked through the gender wiki several times and couldn’t find something similar to this, but if i did i’ll probably take this down because i don’t wanna feel like im stealing something.

anyway! this is versiflux!

•Versiflux is a gender identity where someone feels feminine, masculine, and androgynous all at once in some way but there is a missing gender one can not find or put a label on

•someone who uses versiflux can use any pronouns/neopronouns or doesn’t need to use pronouns at all

•you can express the feminine, masculine, and androgynous qualities in different ways. you can use male turms, nb pronouns, and dress feminine. or just dress,use turms and pronouns of a cis man but still feel feminine and androgynous in some way

•the feeling of the missing gender expression is fluid tho. one is constantly feeling fem masc and enby but maybe one day the missing gender is more apparent then the next day you might not feel it at all

•the missing gender is uncomfortable and unclear and can’t be described entirely, best way to put is as gendervoid but that doesn’t explain it fully. one can add new pronouns or switch to the ones they currently use to fill the void but only adds temporary relief for the missing gender

•this missing gender feeling can lead to a worse feeling of dysphoria or make the person suddenly have it when it wasn’t apparent before

•once again this missing gender is not like gendervoid or agender, it can help others understand what the feeling is but in fullness you can’t describe it. all i know is that it’s an uncomfortable feeling of unknowing that could happen at any time and can feel a bit of relief from this when switching labels and pronouns but can lead to someone being confused about their gender in the long run

•blue to purple to pink represents feelings of masculine, feminine and androgynous all at once. having it be more of a gradient shows that it's all apart of each other and having the one blue and pink stripe one the other ends also show how they are connected

•the black zigzag in the middle shows how the missing or unknown gender can fluctuate and the black shows that it's unknown. like your looking for something in the dark but nothing shows up

•the white is sort of like a light when looking for the missing gender. only providing temporary relief so that's why it's so small compared to the back part

So basically, ever since 2020 I have been going by the term "bigender" which means I have she and he pronouns. But recently, I have been having some trouble. I want to be a boy, but I want to be a real man, like biological, if I'm a boy I want absolutely nothing feminine about me. But I also want to be a pretty girl that does feminine-like things. But bigender doesn't feel exactly right, and neither does genderfluid or non-bianary. And I've half and half about being trans because of the fact that I don't feel entirely male, I still don't mind she/her. It's been tearing me apart, feeling uncomfortable with everything I go by. And I watch these 2 youtubers, Jake Webber and Johnnie Guilbert, and every time I watch them, I wish so deeply I had been born male. And every time I see boys I get so jealous, but I still feel girl-ish. I have no idea what to do and it's making me dig myself deeper and deeper into a hole and I need advice, what am I going through?

Tldr; I feel feminine and connected to womanhood, but I can't tell how much, and I get frustrated at the idea of being a cis woman. I think I'm either lost, trying to fool myself, or I'm some femme/woman based form of genderfluid at this point, and I really can't figure out where I'm at.

I've been struggling in terms of where I'm at gender wise. The only thing I'm certain of is that I'm within the feminine sector and I still feel connected to womanhood, but I get extremely frustrated thinking about being a cisgender woman. The only thing that probably upsets me more is the thought of being in a male body or being thought of as a man, though I did briefly think about the possibility of being born in a male body but being so feminine that I'm mistaken for a girl. I kinda enjoy the thought of defying the expectations attached to my gender using femininity specifically, which is probably why I have similar feelings when thinking about being even partially nonbinary while still being very femme presenting. I may just enjoy the idea of being a feminine presenting gender non-conforming person despite not wanting to let go of being a woman, and that makes me think I'm just frustrated about the idea of being a cisgender woman because, if I am, I can't specifically use my femininity to defy gender expectations the way I'd like to. I enjoy femininity for its own sake until it feels like I'm trying too hard and/or it's being forced on me, but the fact that feminine presentation is what's expected of me as a woman anyway kinda sucks. There is a level of jealousy I have towards people who can be feminine without that being the expectation placed on them by the world, and maybe thinking about being partially nonbinary or genderqueer feels liberating to me in that way, but I'm not sure if it's gender envy necessarily.

As far as terms I use to describe myself, I find myself bouncing around between demigirl, paragirl, genderqueer woman, nonbinary woman, femme nonbinary, gender non-conforming cisgender woman, and girlflux. I know the very first time I described wanting to exist at the edge of/in the in-between space that connects woman and nonbinary, I felt extremely euphoric, and even typing it now, that description lights up my soul like nothing else. I just can't seem to land on what exactly I think I am. Every time I get too mentally exhausted to keep thinking about all of this, I just start thinking I should just let myself believe I'm a cis woman and call it a day, and that feels fine for a while until I eventually start feeling restricted by the label of cisgender woman, which is when the process starts all over again. I'm just so tired at this point...

So I never thought about wearing thigh highs and stuff but lately it’s been on my mind but my body type is not femboy at all it’s more of a dad bod is that weird? 🧐

So I have a friend who identifies as a straight male but also likes to dress femme he says he feel as if he was born into the wrong body (feels he should’ve been born a woman) but doesn’t want to get surgery or anything like that sort and wants more of an understanding as to what he is could anyone help me with helping them

I dont really have a specific question, but I wanted to talk about this since it's been on my mind a lot and maybe some of you have similar experiences or insights? idk i am new here lol. apologies if i misused any terms.

Although I did some more experimenting in my teens, I have always been a bit of a "tomboy" (I am sure there are better terms than this but it feels the most accurate atm in describing how i present/dress/behave). I identify as a woman, it is an important part of my identity as a femininst, and am adamant that how i dress and behave does not validate or invalidate that.

However, I have never really felt like I fit the bill for what was traditionally/stereotypically "feminine" - I prefer more androgynous clothing usually, wearing dresses or florals or doing my makeup or nails always just feel like i am cosplaying femininity. Which is totally fine! I have no dislike for these things, they just don't feel right on me. The "androgyny" spills into parts of me other than physical appearance obviously but this is most relevant for this post.

I am cool with this, i think balancing the line of androgyny is fun and cool, BUT i feel like it is affecting my confidence in my relationship. In my head, heterosexuality and male attraction has always been associated with an expectation of femininity that I just can't provide (this is my first long term relationship, for context). my boyfriend loves me a lot and has never ever had any issues with how i present myself. But i think internally i feel romantically/socially inferior to women that are more traditionally feminine, and it sometimes makes me insecure about how attractive i am specifically to heterosexual men (attraction between me and other women or non binary people not relevant here)

I am trying to detach myself from this mindset and be more confident in my romantic life specifically. How does one separate heterosexuality from heteronormative gender expectations when the two are linked? I find it difficult to navigate heterosexuality when i feel like i am missing a fundamental piece of it, when the social norms assume binary and traditional gender roles.

Before I begin I want you to understand that my knowledge and experience in this topic is very low and if you find anything I say insulting or worse keep in mind that I am simply trying to learn something but I'm too ignorant of the topic to know what NOT to say or how not to say it. Thank you.

So far, my whole experience with anything gender related is what I call " classic" gender. Male/female, guy/girl, etc. It wasn't until, what? several years ago or so that gender identities and stuff started exploding on media, social media, tv, movies, you name it. I thought at first this was some new thing but a quick Google search shows that it's been a topic for quite a while. I tried to search for answers about this subject but with each post, article, or video I see it almost seems that no one agrees on anything except that classic gender typing is wrong or at least incomplete. I have two friends who are trans and I thought they would be the best of everyone I know to ask about the subject but I found it too awkward to ask...I don't want to risk upsetting them too much or lose their friendship just because I suck at explaining things and I just know I'm going to blurt out the worst sentence I could say without knowing what it means, whatever that might be.

So for a while now I have just been occasionally reading posts or I'd hear a story or two about the subject and try to parse out what I can but I feel i might be missing too much or misinterpreting what it all means.

So..as I understand it there are a bunch of people who feel more like a male when their sex is female or female when male, and there are others who don't know what to feel. There's probably a whole lot of smaller details I just skipped over but that was the simplest way I knew how to say it. And from what I could tell the biggest cause of confusion has been over whether to feel male or female, masculine or feminine and all of it seems to stem from what we as a society(?) have decides is male or female. To give an example, if we were watching a movie and the main character peeks into a child's room and the camera pans over a dimply lit room with blue cool blues, there are sports trophies on a shelf, posters of metal bands and probably a picture of some model or hot actress are hanging on the wall, throw in something like a space rocket model and action figures and BOOM we know this is a boy's room. The character then goes to the next room and the camera pans over a warm, pink room with frills on the bed with stuffed animals lining the wall at it's edge, there's a desk with makeup kits on it and on a shelf are trophies for volleyball ( if the child is sporty ) in the closet are dresses and in the corner of the closet is an old tutu or cute costume. Another shelf contains books of poetry. The walls have pictures of boy bands and maybe some hot actor or something. BOOM girls room.

That's the kind of stuff I grew up with. Some things were seen as male and other's female. Pink was a girl's color when I was a kid. But what's wrong with pink? It's a nice color. Why can't the girls room be blue? Why cant the boy like dresses? anything in those two rooms could easily be swapped around and no one should care. It always seemed to me that gender confusion is caused by people who taught things like "pink is a girl's color" and then some boy goes "I like pink...but I'm a boy..what now? " But I feel like i've missed the point somewhere. I feel like I just grabbed four corner pieces of a full puzzle and said " why don't the pieces fit?" while ignoring the existence of the other 998 pieces lying right next to me.

Can someone explain to me what I'm missing or point me to a good source of information?
To clarify, I specifically don't know what or why people feel confused about gender or feel the way they do. I'd like to understand more and quite frankly don't even know what questions to be asking.

I really do appreciate that each community has separate subreddits as safer spaces, but I really wish that there also was an inclusive space that brought together all types of masculine gender variant women in general to talk casually about our experiences.

I am talking about something like a group chat between top, dominant, girlboss, tomboyish, futchy, butchy, crossdressing, masculine, androgynous, and genderqueer women.

If you may be feeling interested in joining a group chat, just drop a comment here below.

I also support if anyone else wants to create another group.

So I have been struggling with gender for a while. I identified as trans (FtM) at first but it didn't fit so I guessed maybe genderfluid or demi boy but none felt quite right until I found Genderfaunet/ genderfaun and it feels so accurate and fitting ig. My only concern is how my family will react when they hear I'm this not commonly spoken of gender tho lol <3

https://preview.redd.it/9n46d1qlrvxc1.png?width=758&format=png&auto=webp&s=84198a995ea73069b55db865309c4d136b073a0c

I have no idea what to say in first, but I wanted to ask if anyone else feels like I do. I feel alone with this feeling lol. I'm 16 now and for a long time now, let's say a year or two, I've been really confused with my identity regarding my gender. I know I am in fact a woman, I like feminine stuff and masculine things or whatever you can call it yet I never feel close enough, like I wish I didn't have any gender, I wish I didn't have pronouns and I wish that I was just a person. I know what being non-binary is yet I also don't feel like that't right for me. People could say I'm trying to make it hard yet I just don't know ho to express myself. I always wanted to have a small chest, like one that you couldn't see at all and no private parts. I wish I was just like a person with a body but not really? I'm so confused with these feelings. I sometimes even write poems with how I feel lol. I hope that you can understand what I mean by what I said in here, I don't even get myself. It's strange being anything really.